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Schools Where Everyone Belongs
Building positive peer to peer
behavior and inclusive school culture
NOTE: There are more slides in this handout packet than we will use in the training, because I want to respond to your questions and needs through this workshop by going into more detail on topics of interest. I have done my best to make the slides clear and understandable by themselves. You will find more information about slides we do not talk about in my books and at stopbullyingnow.com, and I would be glad to clarify and add more information- just email me at [email protected] . I also welcome your feedback, thoughts, and questions.
Thank you for attending this training, and thank you for the work you do to make young peoples’ lives better.
Welcome to this training. I hope you find it useful.
Social change is possible
What does the word: “normal” mean?
In what ways have our ideas of “normal” changed completely since 1810? Since
1910?
This workshop• Summary of research
•Building staff-student connections for all
•Protecting and supporting mistreated students and changing negative behaviors
•Empowering peer bystanders
Let’s hear from a mistreated student who did get peer and adult support.
• What were her options?• What did she do? Why?• What did peers do? What else could they
have done that would have been less positive?
• What did adults do? What else could they have done that would have been less positive?
• What was the overall outcome?
What is bullying prevention?- the state of the art as of:
• 1900 Tell targets of bullying not to tattle to us.
• 1970s- Build self esteem for all. Tell the students that "mean behavior hurts." When they know it hurts, they won't do it.
• 1980s- Tell students who are bullied to tell "the bullies" to stop it. Tell students who are bullied to ignore it.
• 1990- Sit bullies and victims down together to "work things out." Suspend "bullies".
• 1995 to the present- build schoolwide standards for unacceptable behavior and consistent responses to that behavior. Protect students who are treated badly. Build staff-student connectedness and modeling. Teach students how to get along with people they don't like. Build positive behavior norms, bystander behaviors and peer culture.
Diana Baumrind’s research studied the effects of four different types of parenting
L Warmth and connectedness H
Con
sisten
cy a
nd
S
up
erv
ision
Authoritative:Consistent
expectations, High warmth
and involvementUninvolved:
Inconsistent expectations Low warmth
and involvement
Permissive: Inconsistent expectations High warmth
and involvement
H
LL
H
L
H
L
H
L
H
L
H
L
Authoritarian:Consistent
expectations, Low warmth
and involvement
H
L
H
L
H
L
Diana Baumrind’s research tells us thatfour types of parenting have different
outcomes
L Warmth and connectedness H
Authoritarian: Can follow rules.
Interpersonal relationships can be a challenge
Authoritative: Resilient, caring, and responsible
Uninvolved: Likelihood of
aggression and risky behavior
Permissive: High self esteem.
Difficulty with empathy and
frustration tolerance.
H
L
Con
sisten
cy a
nd
S
up
erv
ision
Successful bullying prevention programs focus on the same principles as Baumrind’s
research“The program strives to develop a school
(and ideally a home) environment characterized by:
warmth, positive interest, and involvement by adults;
firm limits to unacceptable behavior; non-hostile, nonphysical negative
consequences consistently applied in cases of ...unacceptable behaviors; and
where adults act as authorities and positive role models.” (Olweus,Limber 1999)
Which quadrant describes your school?
L Warmth and connectedness H
Con
sisten
cy a
nd
S
up
erv
ision
Authoritative:Consistent
expectations, High warmth
and involvementUninvolved:
Inconsistent expectations Low warmth
and involvement
Permissive: Inconsistent expectations High warmth
and involvement
H
LL
H
L
H
L
H
L
H
L
H
L
Authoritarian:Consistent
expectations, Low warmth
and involvement
H
L
H
L
H
L
Youth who bully others are not a homogeneous group. They
include
• Impulsive/aggressive/angry youth without social skills
• Calculating/intentional youth without empathy (Frick)
• Youth who are responding to peer and media definitions of what is funny and the idea that some of their peers don’t count. (Taffel, Twenge and Campbell)
ANALOGY:People who drink and drive are not a homogeneous group
Where would you start to improve public safety?
Impaired driving bysocial drinkers
Impaired driving by addicted drinkers
After a successful campaign of consistent traffic stops, follow-through with
consequences, and public education. The roads are much safer. What are the next
steps?Impaired driving by social drinkers-
large reduction
Impaired driving by addicted drinkers- small reduction
The parallel situation when many schools begin addressing mean peer behavior systematically
Mean actions by students with skill deficits or who are full of anger.
Mean actions by students who have the skills to behave well, yet who do mean things to others because those behaviors seem normal and enjoyable.
Mean actions by students with skill deficits or who are full of rage - small to moderate reduction
Mean actions by students who have the skills to behave well, yet who do mean things to others because those behaviors seem normal and enjoyable - large reduction
After the first phase of interventions
Assets that lead to positive livesSupport: Youth experience people and places that are
accepting and loving.Empowerment: Youth know they are valued and
valuable.Boundaries & Expectations: Youth have and
understand clear rules for responsible behavior.Constructive Use of Time: Youth are involved in
enriching and structured activities.Commitment to Learning: Youth believe that
education is important and engaging. Positive Values: Youth care for others and hold high
standards for themselves.Social Competence: Youth develop social skills to
foster healthy relationships.Positive Identity: Youth believe in their personal
power, purpose, and potential.http://www.search-institute.org/assets/
What works?
“Success [in bullying prevention programs] is more likely to be achieved when they are… applied thoroughly. What constitutes thoroughness?
1. An anti-bullying policy and associated program is carefully formulated and is communicated to all members of the school community.
“Do interventions to reduce bullying in a school really work ?” (Dr. Ken Rigby, 2004).
2. Members of the school community accept responsibility for carrying out the program – and do so. In particular:
• Work is done on bullying with children in classes as part of a planned curriculum.
• There is thoughtful attention continually paid to how children relate to each other, especially when there are indications that bullying is taking place.
• Action is consistently taken to deal with cases of bullying in accordance with an agreed policy.
3.Thorough implementation is likely to occur when:• Teachers care about the problem of
bullying (Hence the need for surveys and subsequent discussion).
• Teachers are meaningfully involved in the development of anti-bullying policy and know what they are expected to do.
• Leadership in a school produces a ‘whole school approach’ in which coordinated activities to address bullying actually occur.”
First results from the Youth Voice Project- Charisse Nixon, Ph.D., and Stan Davis
• Youth in grades 5-12 in 31+ schools all around the United States.
• More than 13,000 students to date• 22% report frequent verbal, physical, and
relational aggression toward them• About half of these students (12% of all)
report that they were moderately, severely, or very severely affected by that peer aggression.Results will be posted at youthvoiceproject.com
Schools surveyed for the Youth Voice Project
What YVP participants tell us
• 12% of youth in grades 5-12 are moderately to very severely affected by peer mistreatment. NOTE: other 2010 research by Juvonen says that bullied youth perform dramatically worse academically than nonbullied youth.
• Mistreated youth in our study who said they felt connected to school were less likely to report that peer mistreatment affected them severely than did youth who said they did not feel connected to school.
YVP -What mistreated youth did• Pretending that mistreatment doesn’t
bother them and walking away were frequently used strategies- but often had negative effects and rarely had positive effects for youth in elementary or middle school.
• Pretending that mistreatment didn’t bother them and walking away worked a bit more often for high school students, but even at high school level these strategies led to negative outcomes about 1/5 of the time
YVP -What mistreated youth did
• Youth reported that telling their tormentors to stop often made things worse. Overall, this strategy led to things getting better only about 1/4 of the time.
• Seeking support from adults and peers had the most positive effects- but only 2/5 told an adult at school. This figure applies across grade levels.
YVP –effects of adult actions
• Being told not to tattle and being told that if they had done things differently they wouldn’t have been mistreated had the most negative effects.
• Being listened to and encouraged by adults and having an adult check in over time had the most consistent positive effects at all grade levels.
• The helpfulness of telling adults at school and of adult disciplinary and discussion-based interventions varied from school to school. The large variability in outcome data suggest that how these interventions are carried out may be very important in predicting their efficacy.
YVP –effects of peer actions
• Being told by peers that the mistreatment was their fault or being teased for telling had the most negative effects of any peer action.
• Being listened to and encouraged by peers, and having peers spend time with them at school were the most helpful actions used by youth or adults.
• Peers calling at home in an encouraging way also led to positive outcomes.
• When peers confronted mistreating youth or asked them to stop, youth reported that things got worse as often as things got better.
Support mistreated youth
Consequences for aggression: •Small•inevitable, •predictable,•Escalating•Paired with reflection
Empower bystanders and build + peer culture
Key elements of successful interventions
Build connections with all students, especially youth at risk
Help aggressive youth change
Positive feedback to students; maintain positive feeling tone
From The Wingspread Declaration
“Strong scientific evidence demonstrates that increased student connection to school promotes:
• Educational motivation• Classroom engagement• Improved school attendance
These three factors in turn increase academic achievement. The findings apply across racial, ethnic, and income groups.”
“Based on current research evidence, the most effective strategies for increasing the likelihood that students will be connected to school include…
• Applying fair and consistent disciplinary policies that are collectively agreed upon and fairly enforced
• Creating trusting relationships among students, teachers, staff, administrators, and families…
• Ensuring that every student feels close to at least one supportive adult at school.”
From The Wingspread Declaration
Use student survey data to assess connectness
“How many adults at our school do you have a positive relationship with? That means they welcome you to school and you would go to them if you had a problem.” Choices: None, 1 or 2, 3 or more.
Goal: 5% or fewer report “none” and results show equity between subgroups
How many staff members do you have a positive connection with? A middle school with an active advisor-advisee program.
56%
40%
4%
Three or more
One or two
None
How many staff members do you have a positive connection with? A middle school with an active advisor-advisee program
Three or more56
%40
%
None:4%
One or two
Students in a Junior High School saying they do not have positive connections with any staff
members.
13%
15%
16%
19%
24%
27%
0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% 100%
White
female
not spec ed
male
Native american
special ed
2009
Students in a Junior High School saying they do not have positive connections with any staff
members.
0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% 100%
White
female
not spec ed
male
Native american
special ed
20102009
Students reporting positive connections with no staff members
2009 2010 % improvement
In special ed 27% 10% 63%
Native American 24% 14% 40%
Male 19% 12% 35%
Not in special ed 16% 11% 29%
Female 15% 10% 31%
White 13% 11% 17%
"I feel safe or safe most of the time at school- Native American students
50%
76%
0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% 100%
1
2010
2009
52% improvement
What we did to increase connection- 2009-2010
X Junior High School staff, Wyoming
• Knowing each student’s name, greeting them every day, knowing something about their personal lives, going to a sporting event and commenting about their participation are all things that help
• Spent 1st 6 weeks of school in advisory going over strategies for success in Middle School
• Student led orientations for all new students• Guidance & Social Worker out at lunch
consistently interacting with students.• Focussed on kids who seem to be “loners”.• Being present in the hall every morning in the
same spot – consistently
What we did to increase connection- 2009-2010
X Junior High School staff
• Recognition of accomplishments throughout the school
• Random acts of kindness recognition all year.• New teachers with new approaches.• Joking with kids and making personal
recognitions.• After school study hall.• Individualized help at lunch recess on core
classes• Just being human and nurturing with them• Hiring great new staff
Identify disconnected youth
Staff identify students they have talked with about something beside schoolwork in the past month. Students on no one’s list need connection.
Survey students: who would you go to at school if you had a small problem? Students who identify no one or just one staff member need connection.
Connect staff with disconnected youth
Identify staff willing to be silent mentors: silent mentors greet and check in with a specific student more often and attempt to build a connection.
Develop staff-led interest- based and activity-based programming during the school day, including interest-based advisories and activity times.
Increase positive behavior feedback and use of positive feeling tone by staff, especially during discipline interaction. Increase staff efforts to greet and welcome students.
Build staff-student connections
• Greet and interact: H*U*G (Hello*Update*Goodbye)
• Use silent mentoring: H*U*G in a bit more depth and more often with a disconnected student
• Maintain positive feeling tone even in dealing with negative behavior
• Use frequent positive feedback
Use feedback to build connection, resiliency, and
positive social skills
Based on the work of Carol DweckHer two books:Self Theories
Mindset
Dr. Carol
Dweck
How we give feedback makes a difference
Our lives are shaped by the way we react to the failures that we all experience.
Some people are energized by challenge or failure; some give up. Some people keep focused on their goals; some don’t.
Dweck’s research shows us the connection between how we talk with young people and their response to failure and stress. Her work shows us a way to help youth learn from their failures.
FIXED MINDSET GROWTH MINDSET
I’m bad at math I need to find a different way to learn math
I don’t have a sense I need to practiceof pitch singing in tune
I’m a bully I hurt someone
I’m impulsive I didn’t think
I’m not motivated I didn’t work hard
I’m dumb How do I learn best?
How people interpret their failures shapes their lives
FIXED MINDSET GROWTH MINDSET
I’m good at math I pay attention and practice
I have musical talent I practice daily
I’m smart I listen and ask questions and think
I’m kind I help people
I’m patient I take my time
I’m athletic I work out and practice
How people interpret their successes shapes the way they interpret their failures
Effects of different mindsets
Fixed mindsetAvoid challenge.Motivated by displaying abilities rather than by learning.Failures are threatening and stressful.Choose easy tasks and courses. Refuses help if needed.Respond to failure by becoming helpless.Threatened by others’ successes.
Growth mindsetSeek challenge.
Motivated by learning.
Failures are seen as an opportunity for learning.
Choose challenging tasks and courses. Seeks help if needed.
Respond to failure by working harder.
Open to change and growth.
Inspired by others’ successes.
Our style of feedback influences the way young people think about their failures
Feedback that encourages fixed mindset thinkingYou’re so clumsy!
You’re just lazy.
You’re not good at math.
You are a bully.
You’re not motivated.
You ‘re selfish.
Feedback that encourages growth mindset thinkingTry another way (or try working harder).You called Jenna a …. I think you hurt her feelings.You got a D. What did you do to make that happen?How do you learn best?You lost TV because you…. As soon as you…
Our style of feedback influences the way young people think about their successes
Feedback that encourages fixed mindset thinkingYou’re so smart!
You are a kind person
You are talented
You are good at math
You are really a good person
You have self-control.
Feedback that encourages growth mindset thinking You got to work right away and finished your project. After you sat with Sarah, I saw her smiling. You practice the guitar. When he was yelling at you, you calmed yourself down and stayed out of trouble.
Our words teach young people how to interpret their successes
Fixed mindsetYou’re so smart!
You are a kind person
You are talented
You are good at math
You are really a good person
You have self-control.
Growth mindsetYou got to work right away and finished your project.
After you sat with Sarah I saw her smiling.
You practice the guitar.
When he was yelling at you, you calmed yourself down and stayed out of trouble.
From a music teacher
“You should never tell students they have a gift in music. If you do, they stop practicing.”
For more about how little “talent” really matters, compared to effort and support from others, see Malcom Gladwell’s book Outliers.
Why does how we praise have such a profound effect?
“What we praise shows what we value”
-Carol Dweck
What do YOU value? Does the kind of praise you give reflect your real values?
Do you value talent or effort and good choices?
What’s wrong with I messages?
“I feel A when you B and I wish you would C.”
Adults’ I-messages tell our students: “You are responsible for my feelings. Change your behavior so I can feel better.”
I-messages used by targets of peer mistreatment say to their tormentors: “You have the power to hurt me by calling me those names.”
-From the work of Dr. Jane Bluestein
Positive feedback that encourages a growth mindset
Describe observed actions: “I noticed…”“When the teacher told you to stop talking you
stopped.” “You asked questions.” “You encouraged Tajandra when she made a mistake.”
Then describe the observed effects of those actions. What happened next?“You stayed out of trouble.” “You did the next problems correctly.” “She kept trying.”
Feedback focused on actions and outcomes is empowering. Few of us know the impact of our positive actions. When we understand how to have a positive impact we are more likely to do so.
The lessons of personal history
Those who do not see or understand their failures are likely to repeat them.
Those who do not see or understand their successes are unlikely to repeat them.
A parallel approach to improving student behavior: Video Self-Modeling (Buggey, Seeing is Believing)
USING RULES AND CONSEQUENCES
EFFECTIVELY
What DOESN’T work and what DOES work
• Punishments given
• Rules designed and imposed by adults
• Many warnings followed by large consequences
• Punishment based on adult assessment of intention and character
• Context: anger, threat, and rejection
• Consequences earned
• Student input into behavior expectations
• Small, predictable, consistent consequences
• Consequence based on actions and on potential harm of actions
• Context: hope, connection, caring and teaching
Can we tell if a specific action is bullying?
“Bullying is a form of social interaction—not necessarily long-standing—in which a more dominant individual (the bully) exhibits aggressive behavior that is intended to, and does, in fact, cause distress to a less dominant individual (the target).”
Dorothea Ross (1996)This is a well-respected definition, but how useful is it in the moment in the hallway?
Bullying
How are educators supposed to tell the difference between these categories of behavior?
Horseplay
Harassment
Joking
Girls being girls
Fighting Teasing
Boys being boys
NOTE: In reality, all these circles intersect each other. Girls fight, boys tease,….
Why is consistency important?
Consistency teaches responsibility and cause and effect thinking.
Inconsistency teaches anger at those who “gave us” a punishment.
Harassment
Assault
Other illegal acts
Unacceptable peer-to-peer behaviors
Let’s keep it simple…..
Negative actions toward peers
List negative peer behaviors in concrete terms without focusing on intent or
result• Punching, kicking, and pushing down• Slapping, grabbing, and pushing • Making faces• Calling names about sexual orientation• Starting or spreading rumors (true or false
statements that are likely to embarrass)• Low-level namecalling (“You’re mean”)• Stopping someone from having friends. (this is just the beginning of a list…)
Use student and staff input to sort these behaviors by potential for harm
Survey students anonymously:• How frequently have they seen each
behavior?• What should staff do?• What should peers do?
Survey staff anonymously:• What should staff do?
Interventions for GRAY behaviors:
Staff may choose to
•ignore,
•advise,
•use mediation strategies if both students have done something wrong,
•or use small, in-the moment consequences.
Some interventions for YELLOW behaviors:
The ten-second intervention (Saufler):
•“That behavior is not allowed here.” AND
•“Why don’t we use those words?”
Immediate micro-consequences:
•“Sit here to help you remember to…”
Structured discussion including aggressor and target (and sometimes others) may be
helpful- use with discretion.
Remind youth of class behavior agreements
No tracking, no reports, no paperwork.
Note:
For young children (Pre-K , K, and 1), almost all YELLOW, ORANGE, or RED negative peer behaviors should be addressed with YELLOW interventions, with skill-building programs like recess school and with a review of social skills curriculum lessons.
Interventions for ORANGE behaviors:
All staff use YELLOW interventions in the moment AND
•Track repetition of these behaviors by reporting them to the homeroom teacher, advisor, or team leader. Person receiving these reports does NOT have a disciplinary responsibility, but may offer concern and advice to the misbehaving student.
•Refer to office at third ORANGE behavior by a student in a year. Treat that student’s ORANGE behaviors as RED from that point onward.
•Discussions between aggressor and target are less likely to help and more likely to do harm.
Interventions for RED/repeated ORANGE behaviors:
•Consistent reporting expectation for all staff
•Administrator evaluates policy and legal issues
•Fair, consistent, and predictable earned consequences paired with positive feeling tone
•Structured reflection process after consequences to help students learn empathy and new behaviors
•Enlist parent support/ inform parent
•Develop individual action plan if behaviors are repeated. Assess safety of others, build social skills, explore and remediate other needs, find the most effective supports, rewards, and consequences for future negative choices. Build mentoring connections and use frequent specific positive feedback.
A possible A possible REDRED peer aggression discipline peer aggression discipline rubricrubric
SevereSevereand and
repeated repeated moderatemoderate
Most Most severesevere
and and retaliationretaliation
IllegalIllegal Follow Follow policy policy
and lawand law
BehaviorBehavior 1st time1st time 2nd time2nd time 3rd time3rd time
IndividuaIndividual Planl Plan
ConsequencConsequencee
BB
Follow Follow policy policy
and lawand law
Follow Follow policy policy
and lawand law
Consequences may be more severe based on actual behavior
ConsequencConsequencee
CC
ConsequencConsequencee
CC
ConsequencConsequencee
BB
ConsequencConsequencee
AA
Effective rubrics1. Are based on input from staff
and students.2. Define behavior clearly3. Avoid describing intent or impact4. Make sense5. Use small and escalating
consequences6. Focus only on peer to peer
aggression
EveryoneReports
Administrator investigates,
looks up consequences
Counselor or
detention superviso
rhelps the
student reflect.
Protocol for RED peer to peer behaviors
Copies of letter describing
consequences sent to parent,
teacher
A protocol for investigation and looking up consequences
GOALS:• Student describes his or her own behavior• Student looks up consequences for
current & future behavior• Student calls parent/guardian to report
actions and consequences• During the interview, administrator
completes letter home outlining behavior, consequences, and consequences if the student chooses the behavior again.
A frequent question: What if the student says he or she didn’t do it?
Tell the student that you will tell parent(s) if he or she tells the truth
Give the student a minute or two to sit and think. Walk away and do something else at this time. Avoid argument or confrontation.
Ask again. If the student says no, either look up
consequences (if a staff member reported the behavior) or interview witnesses one at a time (if peers reported).
Issues and questions that often come up:
What if you can’t determine what happened? Say so, but supervise more closely. Don’t make a determination based on how credible each student seems, or based on the students’ reputations.
“I did it in on accident.” Accept this as a statement that the youth did not mean to do harm.
What if the student blames someone else’s actions for their behavior or says the other person “started it”? Deal with each person’s negative behavior, if it happened, and focus on what else the student you are talking with could have done.
What if the target says ‘I don’t mind- it’s OK.’? Focus on potential for harm and enforce the rule.
Suggestions for involving parent(s)/guardians (1)
Begin the conversation with: “I knew you’d want to know.” Build connections and affirm positive parental actions and intentions.
Focus on the student’s specific actions rather than on your assessment of the student’s character or intentions. Focus on other options the student had.
Tell the parent/guardian specifically what the student is doing right, even within misbehavior.
Suggestions for involving parent(s)/guardians (2)
When dealing with anger, ask “What would you like us to do?” Keep asking.
Find families roles as team members and give them the credit for positive changes.
Follow up: tell parents of positive changes or choices after negative incidents.
Enlist parent support in limiting media exposure.
HELPING AGGRESSIVE YOUTH CHANGE
THROUGH STRUCTURED REFLECTION
EveryoneReports
Administrator investigates/
looks up consequences
Counselor or
detention superviso
rhelps the
student reflect.
Protocol part 2
Copies of letter describing
consequences sent to parent and
teacher
Help students develop empathy and positive behaviorReflecting and writing about these questions helps
young people to think about their actions after they know what their consequences are:
What did you do? Goal: a simple declarative sentence (I did X to Y) Tell me later about what anyone else did to you. Leave out “only” and “because.”
What was wrong with that? (To build empathy, seek sense memory: “What did she say?” “What did you see on his face?” “What did you hear after you did this?” “How do you know you hurt her?”)
What problem were you trying to solve? (Use multiple choice)
How will you solve that problem next time?
Often youth have to move through these stages in order.
Developmental stages in developing conscience
1. I own my own actions: “I hit her.”
2. I own the effect of my actions on myself: “I have to be away from the other students at lunch because I called him names.”
3. I own the effect of my actions on others: “I hurt her.”
We often see stages in learning to take responsibility
Denial (“I didn’t hit him.”) Externalize (“I hit him because he
said….”) Minimize (“I only tapped him.”) Accept responsibility (“I hit him. When he
said… I could have….instead.”)
These are examples of the four stages for the first question in the reflection process. What would these stages be for the other three questions?
Helping young people learn from their actions through structured written reflection
• This process is most helpful after students know what their consequences are.
• Review the answer to each question before the student moves to the next question.
• Stay calm and positive and disconnect from power struggles.
Walk away to prevent power struggles.Maintain neutral/positive feeling tone.Calmly remind the student that the consequence time does not count until he or she finishes writing about the behavior.Have something else to do and do it.The student should do 70% of the work; the protocol should do 20% of the work; the adult should do 10% of the work.
What if the student will not write about the questions?
Supporting targets of peer aggression
A highly recommended resource about healing after trauma:
Linda Sanford’s book Strong at the Broken Places
Support targets of peer aggression
The meaning that we make of others’ negative events influences how much we are hurt.
• Connect, encourage, and recognize the student for seeking help.
• Help youth to see that the aggressors chose their own actions and are responsible for what they did.
• Remember that advice given after traumatic events is often perceived as blame for not having done something.
Change words to avoid blaming the victim
Instead of “passive victims”, internalizers: youth who take sadness and anger out on themselves or who deal with trauma by withdrawing from peers.
Instead of “provocative victims,” externalizers: youth who seek to connect with peers or deal with trauma through annoying or aggressive behaviors.
Instead of “reactive victims,” anxious: youth who react to trauma or stress with intense sadness or fear.
Support internalizers
When students take sadness and anger out on themselves and deal with trauma and rejection by withdrawing from peers:
• Build peer and adult connections
• Encourage journaling, art, music, hobbies, and other paths to self-healing. Resource: Opening Up, Pennebaker
• Help mistreated youth shift from self-blame to accurate analysis of the situation.
Support externalizers
When students try to connect with peers through annoying behavior:
• Maintain consequences for students who hurt these students and for these students themselves when they break rules. Hold each person accountable for his or her choices.
• Teach social skills.• Identify adults for these students to report
concerns to- avoid too much sympathy or expressing annoyance with them.
• Build positive peer and adult connections.
Support anxious youth
When students react to aggression and trauma with anxiety:
• Avoid blaming the student by saying “If you didn’t cry they wouldn’t do it.” Instead, teach mindfulness and self-calming as a way to help the target feel better.
• If needed, evaluate for anxiety disorder.• Build peer and adult connections.
Resource: Your Anxious Child: How Parents and Teachers Can Relieve Anxiety in Children; Dacey and Fiore
CLASSROOM INTERVENTIONS
Classroom interventions
• H*U*G (Hello, Update, Goodbye) for all.
• Build connections between students.
• Have fun with your students to maximize connection and learning.
• Follow through with behavior expectations.
• Build positive social norms through frequent discussion of students’ positive actions, identifying those actions as “the way we do things here.”
• Teach social problem solving skills and bystander skills- directly and within subject matter. Resource: the Second Step curriculum, K-8 . NOTE: Their lessons about “bullying” do not reflect current practice.
The core of character education
“Values can only be taught by helping students reflect on their experience.” -Dr. Ken Rigby
Teach social problem-solving skills
• Define the problem• Consider many solutions• Think ahead to see effects of each
solution• Build a repertoire of successful
strategies• Emphasize learning through observation
and reflection“Teach youth how to think, not what to think.” Dr. Myrna Shure
SOCIAL NORMS INTERVENTIONS
Social norms interventions: Peoples’ inaccurate or accurate perceptions of peers’ attitudes and behavior often influence their actions. Correcting negative misperceptions can be a force for good.
?
?
Who benefits from peer norms interventions?
Self-directed
Self-directed
Influenced by perceived peer attitudes and
behavior
Social norms theoryPeoples’ actions are influenced in destructive
directions by two cognitive distortions: • “Pluralistic ignorance”- people perceive
other peoples’ attitudes or behavior as more negative than they really are, and because of this they do not follow through on their own good intentions and values.
• “False consensus” – people perceive others as approving of or sharing their negative or destructive attitudes and behavior, and thus increase their destructive behavior.
(Alan Berkowitz)
Resource: alanberkowitz.com
Social norms interventionsGather local data about students’ attitudes
toward negative peer actions. Which behaviors do they think adults should take action to stop? Which behaviors do they think peers should take action to stop?
Make sure the data presented is credible and avoid contradicting it through scare tactics.
Communicate positive (>75%) findings in many different ways over a long period of time. Use negative findings as an indication of the need for education and awareness-building interventions
What both mistreated and mistreating youth misperceive
Target Aggressor
How would this misperception influence each group?
Want aggression to stop vs. Want it to continue
How things really are- but how do we know this?
How can we convince our students this is true?
Target Aggressor
Want aggression to stop vs. Want it to continue
Active
Inactive
Middle School 2009 student survey: Namecalling based on sexual orientation
84%
16%Students who saidaction should be takento stop this behavior
Students who saidnothing should be doneto stop this behavior
Use social norms intervention when 75% or more of students want a negative behavior to stop
Name calling based on race or religion
2009 student survey: Indirect use of biased language
65%
35%
Students who said action shouldbe taken to stop this behavior
Students who said nothing shouldbe done to stop this behavior65%
35%
“there should be consequences” or “teachers should discourage this behavior”
“teachers should not get involved”
Student survey 2009 -indirect use of biased language
Because fewer than 75% of these students want the behavior stopped, education is needed
rather than social norms interventions
What other survey questions would be helpful for social norms interventions?
- I am glad our school has people from many racial and cultural backgrounds.- I believe GLBTQ students should be treated respectfully here so they can feel safe and learn.- I believe fourth graders should or should not have boyfriends and girlfriends.- I believe that working hard in school is important for me to have a good future.- What else?
EMPOWERING BYSTANDERS TO SAFE
AND EFFECTIVE ACTION
A useful analogy: Neighborhood Watch
Direct intervention in crimes is not allowed. Telling people in authority is welcomed and
people who tell are protected. Community members tell about patterns
and about specific events. When asked, witnesses tell the truth- and
are protected from retaliation. Community members support victims of
crime after the event. Neighborhood watch members find
strength in numbers.
A tool for classroom discussion
Bystander Cards
• An opportunity to structure ongoing discussion about feelings and reactions and to practice positive peer action
• Choose and create situations that are appropriate for your grade level and school.
• Use repeated discussions and rehearsal to build skills and awareness.
Available without cost from [email protected]
Clarify what we want bystanders to do …
• When hearing about a potential school shooting?
• When seeing punching?• When hearing name-calling about race?• When asked to spread a rumor?• When asked to participate in shunning?• When hearing indirect hate speech?Involve staff, parents, and students in setting
community expectations for each action in advance. Use surveys.
(Rethinking the Bystander Role in School Violence Prevention, Stueve et al, 2006: Health Promotion Practice, Vol. 7, No. 1, 117-124)
What do we want bystanders to do?
We can use anonymous surveys as a basis for social norms interventions and to assess the need for diversity training and other educational approaches.
“Do you think youth should tell adults at school if they see X?”
“Do you think youth should support others who have X done to them?”
Middle School 2009 student survey: Namecalling based on sexual orientation
83%
17%students should dosomething, includingtelling adults andsupporting targets
students should stay outof it.
You said:
2009 student survey: Indirect use of biased language
64%
36% students should do something,including telling adults andsupporting targets
students should stay out of it.
64%
36%
Students should stay out of it.
Students should do something, including telling adults or supporting targets
High school survey: what should students do about indirect use of biased language?
<75%: Education is needed instead of
social norms interventions
Support positive action by peers
Social norms interventions help students understand their peers’ values.
Clarify what the school and community want bystanders to do in different situations. Use and teach alternatives to the concept of ‘tattling.’ Emphasize safe and effective peer actions.
Teach and practice specific skills for specific bystander interventions in different situations.
Support bystander action over time; help youth see the positive effects of their actions.
Mix interventions targeting all bystanders and those focusing on selected teams.
EMPOWER YOUTH TO BUILD POSITIVE PEER
CULTURE
Empower students to build positive culture
•Student-led research and peer norms interventions.
•Help students develop models for collegial “classmate” behaviors with others they don’t like.
•Peer tutoring builds peer acceptance of youth in special education
•Friendship teams; mentoring
•Activity times and advisor-advisee groups that focus on building connections and on working together toward important goals.
•Ongoing activities that bring students together across group lines
Diversity and social justice initiatives include
• Student-designed diversity initiatives.• Gay-straight alliances; girls’ initiatives; boys’
initiatives; discussion of sexual orientation and race and class and disability issues. Examination of the meaning of school traditions.
• Projects and connections across social groups.• Connect classroom learning with the life of the
school.• Identify and challenge your school’s negative
traditions and practices.
Strengthen student voices
REVIEW AND OVERVIEW
Effective schools are consistently warm and warmly consistent..
H*U*G. Build connections. Teach students to take responsibility for their
actions and to notice the effect of their actions on others. Teach students to monitor the positive effects of their positive actions.
Teach students how to think about social interaction and how to create many ways to solve problems. Teach empathy and collegial behavior.
Help students create positive bystander actions.
Model and articulate positive social norms. Create virtous circles. When we help others, we
think more positively about them.
Aronson, E. (2000). Nobody left to hate: Teaching compassion after Columbine. Henry Holt
Berkowitz, A. Numerous articles about social norms interventions, http://www.alanberkowitz.com
Davis, S. (2007) Schools Where Everyone Belongs: Practical Strategies for Reducing Bullying. Research Press (second edition)
Davis, S. and J.(2007) Empowering Bystanders in Bullying Prevention. Research Press.
Davis, S. Working with Young People Who are Bullied: Tips for Mental Health Professionals- on line at stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/HHS_PSA/pdfs/SBN_Tip_26.pdf
Davis, S. Working with Young People Who Bully Others: Tips for Mental. Health Professionals- on line at stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/HHS_PSA/pdfs/SBN_Tip_27.pdf
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House
Dweck, C. (1999) Self-Theories — Their Role in Motivation, Personality and Development. Taylor and Francis/Psychology Press.
Frick P, White SF. The importance of callous-unemotional traits for developmental models of aggressive and antisocial behavior. J Child Psychol Psychiatry 2008; 49:359-375.
Kimmel, M., Mahler, M. (2003). Adolescent Masculinity, Homophobia, and Violence. American Behavioral Scientist 46(10): 1439-1458.
Kleiman M (2009), When Brute Force Fails: How to have less crime and less punishment, Princeton University Press
Olweus, D. (1993). Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing
Sanford, L. (1992). Strong At The Broken Places. New York: Avon
Stueve, A., Dash, K., O’Donnell, L., Tehranifar, P., Wilson, R., Slaby, R., et al. (2006). Rethinking the bystander role in school violence prevention. Health Promotion Practice, 7(1), 117-124
Taffel, R. and Blau, M. (2002). The Second Family: Dealing with Peer Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence and Other Challenges of Raising Today’s Teens. St. Martin’s Press.
Tavris, C. and Aronson,E. (2007) Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me; Harcourt
Twenge, J.M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Free Press.
A parallel: elements of fire prevention
• Fire and building codes
• Fire drills• Fire awareness and
prevention activities• Day to day vigilance
and action by everyone
• A trained and equipped fire fighting team
• Learning from past disasters
• • •
•
•
•
Which elements of bullying prevention parallel each of these components? Could we omit any of these components
from fire prevention OR bullying prevention?
