cracked,” says Simran Soni, describingthe ugly spat with her boss that cost hera job. The former public relations pro-fessional had been pulled up for not fol-lowing up on key information beforesending it to a client. “I was good at mywork. But my boss couldn’t see beyondmy mistakes. That day I couldn’t controlmy anger,” she says. Soni bluntly ac-cused her boss of making a habit ofcriticising her work. After the inci-dent, she asked for a change ofclient account. When that didnot happen, she quit.

Soni’s reaction was a burstof pent-up emotions. All of ushave come close to thisprecipice: the point when wewant to let go. But convention-al wisdom advocates restraint.Isn’t it unprofessional to showemotions at work?

Yes, if you want to start blub-bering, yelling or even singingin joy. But not all emotional dis-play is taboo. Your team leader orthe human resources departmentmay be far more tolerant about it thanyou think.

“The important thing is to understandhow you can leverage your emotions in ameasured manner to address any situa-tion. A display of emotions — if done ra-tionally — is not considered negative,”says Santrupt Misra, director, HR, AdityaBirla Group. “We would be robots with-out our emotions,” he adds.

For instance, crying at work has al-ways been a no-no as it sends out all thewrong signals: lack of restraint, objectiv-ity, hyper-sensitivity, etc. But in thesetimes of high stress, is it completely un-forgivable? “People do break down— es-pecially at the time of salary reviews andappraisal sessions when expectationsare not met. It is unrealistic to imposecontrols or judge whether they shouldcry or not,” says Anuraag Maini, seniorvice-president and head HR, DLFPramerica Life Insurance.

The jury is out on where employeesshould draw the line. No company hasan ‘emotional decorum’ policy. Youwon’t find it mentioned in the inductionbooks either except for the customarywarning not to use abusive language.But this doesn’t mean that companiesare blind to the need for employees toexpress themselves freely. Some haveput together ‘emotion-vents’ for them toexpress their angst.

LG, for instance, has a choice of threesessions for open communication with

seniors. Their ‘feel-free’ session is a one-on-one that can be initiated by employ-ees at any time of the year. Then there is‘Friday at 5’ where bosses spend onehour with their team every week. Theyalso have the option of talking to HR onany matter. Says Umesh Dhal, VP-HRand management support, LG Electron-ics India, “It is not possible to be de-tached or unemotional. Our code of con-duct states that one should be objective.We encourage employees to talk to theirbosses or HR heads.”

If your emotional outburst affectsothers in the team, matters can snow-ball to the extent that HR has to step in.Maini recalls an incident when an em-ployee spoke rudely to a female col-league in a way that showed her down.“We had to talk to them separately andthen make them talk to each other,” headds. The company has monthly townhalls where questions can be submittedanonymously. Alternatively, employ-ees can also write to the head of com-pliance on a matter that needs immedi-ate attention.

When nothing else works and em-ployees continue to be high-strung,companies advise them to take a break.“In a couple of cases when employeeshave lost control, we asked them to goon a holiday. We also try to arrange Art ofLiving and meditation courses for

them,” says Ashish Kumar, chief HR offi-cer, PVR.

It is great when your employer en-courages you to go on a vacation, butnot for this reason. So though there areno set rules, it is good to avoid an emo-tional scene. For one, keep baggageabout family out of office. If you can’t,come clean to your boss and ask for afew days off or lean work hours. Simi-larly, if a colleague’s behaviour is both-ersome, tackle it before you get too an-gry and start blustering. Make a habit towait for a few hours or days before youreact to a situation.

But try as you might, there will betimes when keeping a lid on feelings isdifficult. Even when you know it is notacceptable. To avoid such situations,work on your emotional quotient. SaysNS Rajan, partner and global leader(people and organisation), Ernst &Young: “It’s more about emotional intel-ligence. We should spend time under-standing ourselves and use the same ra-tionale to understand others. The idea isto channelise emotions in the right way.”

Had Soni known this, she might havetackled her nitpicking boss better. Andnot regret the consequences of her out-burst: “If I had been calmer, thingswould not have gone so out of hand.”

:: Neha Dewan

I

workplaceThe Economic Times on SundayJUNE 19-25, 2011 23

New labour pain for

industry? p.12

Delay your reactions.

Coming back to a situation

later is a better idea

Communicate with someone

outside the organisation to

get an unbiased view

If you think certain

situations or individuals

can cause you to get more

reactive, try to limit your

interactions with them

Be empathetic. Put yourself

in someone else’s shoes. It

will make you appreciate

his/her stand better

Try and see what works

in a given situation rather

than focusing on what is

working against you

Be objective before you

react by analysing your

own shortcomings as well

Avoid crying publicly. If

you feel the urge to cry,

excuse yourself

Should You ShowEmotions at Work?Blubbering, yelling or even trilling in the office is where personal meets professional. But even as

companies are turning more humane, emotional displays are not considered par for course

R A J

HOW TO MANAGE

YOUR EMOTIONS AT

THE WORKPLACE