SMALL

TALK

By:

Pratiksha Chauhan

WHAT IS SMALL TALK?

Small talk is meaningless conversation in terms of content, but is often seen as socially important in certain situations, or context. In many English-speaking countries, it can be viewed as rude or unfriendly not to make small talk.

TWO STRANGERS CAN BE BEST FRIENDS IN FUTURE BY

USING SMALL TALK

WHY DO WE NEED TO DO SMALL TALK?

1. Small talk is common at parties when guests may know the host but not each other. It is considered rude not to mingle and speak with other guests at social functions, so small talk can break the ice and get guests chatting. Compliments may be a type of small talk such as one woman at party complementing another on her dress. Guests at the buffet table may make small talk about the types of food offered as they place items onto their plates.

2.Some people like small talk because they find silence uncomfortable and/or they enjoy communicating verbally. Others enjoy meeting new people and use small talk to start conversations. Some people don't like making small talk at all and often dread going to parties at least partly because of it.

WHEN AND WHERE DO WE NEED SMALL TALK?

1. Discussing the weather with people who you don't really know is an example of small talk that many of us are very familiar with on a daily basis. We may chat about the weather with the cashier at the supermarket or with the attendant at the gas station.

2. Small talk may also be related to the situation such as waiting in line. People in the line may comment to others about how slow it is in the post office or bank that day, for instance. We also engage in small talk with people we may see every day but don't really know such as those we share the elevator with in our office building.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR SMALL TALK1. Practice. Converse with everyone you come

across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in line with, neighbours, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to teens to tourists.

2. Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogue. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.

3. Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.

4. Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good topic for talk.

5. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ...the more varied your list, the better.

6. Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.

TIPS FOR SMALLTALK

Keep up with current events. Make small talk about the news, sports, your community, or politics (unless politics is too controversial. On second thought, that can generate some pretty fiery dialogues.Pay attention to what they're saying. When you're making small talk, follow up on phrases; for instance, if they say they're "excellent", ask why – ask where you can get some. If they mention that they're exhausted, follow up on it. When you're making small talk, remember that great conversations and good connections can be just around the corner.

Share an anecdote about your day. Did you lose your keys or find $10? Maybe you ate at a new restaurant recently, or found a great new CD. Making small talk is about sharing the little things.

Recall your past conversations with the same person. Ask if their son is still ill or how the Mexican holiday went. Making small talk is easier when your memory is good.

Let it go. If the conversation feels like dragging a piano uphill then it may be time to move on or let silence take over. You can't connect with everyone, and some conversations simply refuse to take life! Making small talk involves knowing when it's time to move on.

DO’S & DON'TS OF SMALL TALK

1.Don’t: Be interested only in yourself

Don’t take this the wrong way but focusing on yourself, no matter how interesting you think you are, may not be of interest to another.

Do: The key to making good small talk is to be interested in others.

2.Don’t: Talk too much

 Small talk is a conversation – a verbal exchange that’s light and casual.

Do: Create a conversation that you can both contribute to. Use small talk as the first step to getting to know another person.

3.Don’t:Say Nothing

Sounds contradictory to the above point, but it’s not. If you’re silent and don’t talk at all then you’re not participating and forcing the other person to carry the conversation load. They may well leave you and go find someone who would like to contribute to a good conversation.

Do: Take responsibility for the success of the conversation and create an appropriate balance between listening and talking.

4. Don’t: Neglect asking any questions

Not asking any questions quickly snuffs small talk

Do: Ask questions that will help you uncover what you have in common with the other person. Balance out the conversation by asking questions, listening to the responses and adding your own relevant comments.

5. Don’t: Ask too many questions

Asking too many questions may make the other person feel like she’s in an interrogation and cause her to be uncomfortable.

Do: Ask some questions and give her time to respond but let her reciprocate and ask you questions so she can get to know you too.

6. Don’t: Respond with one word answers

One word answers take the conversation no where fast and often result in an uncomfortable and awkward silence.

Do: Even if you’ve been asked a “yes/no” question, take a bit of time to elaborate. Include some additional information that is relevant to the question and keep the conversation going.

7. Don’t: Look bored

Having a facial expression that reads “I’m bored” won’t help make the conversation interesting and instantly convert it to a fascinating one.

Do: If the conversation is boring, you’re partly responsible – make the effort to create an interesting conversation.

CONCLUSION

Knowing how to make interesting small talk is a good social skill to have. It allows you to meet and get to know more people while allowing others to get to know you. It’s a win-win situation.