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As his UCLA football team suffered through a dismal season in the early 70s, head coach Pepper Rodgers came under intense criticism and pressure. Things got to be so bad that his friends even bailed on him. As he reflected on that tough year, Pepper said this, “My dog was my only true friend. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
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As his UCLA football team suffered through a dismal season in the early 70s, head coach Pepper Rodgers came under intense criticism and pressure. Things got to be so bad that his friends even bailed on him. As he reflected on that tough year, Pepper said this, “My dog was my only true friend. I told my wife one day that every man needs at least two good friends…and she went out and bought me another dog!”
Sometimes a dog is a man’s best, and only friend. Actually, there are many things we can learn about friendship from a dog’s perspective. Let’slook at some canine coachings:
My new puppy and trail companion, Blaze.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit Close by and nuzzle them gently.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body
Dogs are great companions, but we need more than the friendship of a dog.
Each of us has been created for companionship with God and with others. We were never designed to function in complete isolation. And yet, loneliness has been called the most prevalent problem of our time.
A recent report from MSN that gave some research data concerning loneliness. Some of the information that was given as facts were: Loneliness is deadlier than the impact of poverty. People who are lonely are 14% more likely to experience premature death. It is even deadlier than obesity. In a 6 year study of 2000 people over 50 years of age, lonely people were twice as likely to die during that time period. Loneliness is a strong contributor to stress, stroke, high blood pressure and heart attacks.
God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone." (Genesis 2:18) We are social beings and we need the companionship and encouragement of friends.
Casual friends are the result of circumstances. Close friends are the result of choice. Proverbs 27:19 states: “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.”
Take Away
The closer I am to a person, the greater the impact her or she will have on my life. I must therefore choose my friends carefully.
A young man sat down to write a letter to his dad, hoping to shake some shekels out of him: “Dear Dad, I’m 100 miles from home, I’m flat broke and I have no friends, what should I do?” The dad wrote back: “Dear son, make some new friends.”
Making new friends is not always that easy. Recognizing the power of a friendship can either build us up, or break us down, we need to be able to identify three types of friends described in Proverbs:
Fatal Friends Faithful Friends A Forever Friend
Run with dogs and you’ll get fleas.
Proverbs 22:24-25 (VOICE)
24 Do not befriend someone given to anger or hang around with a hothead.25 Odds are, you’ll learn his ways, become angry as well, and get caught in a trap.
In his autobiography, Number 1, Billy Martin told about hunting in Texas with Mickey Mantle. Mickey had a friend who would let them hunt on his ranch. When they reached the ranch, Mickey told Billy to wait in the car while he checked in with his friend. Mantle’s friend quickly gave them permission to hunt, but he asked Mickey a favor. He had a pet mule in the barn who was going blind, and he didn’t have the heart to put him out of his misery. He asked Mickey to shoot the mule for him.
When Mickey came back to the car, he pretended to be angry. He scowled and slammed the door. Billy asked him what was wrong, and Mickey said his friend wouldn’t let them hunt. “I’m so mad at that guy,” Mantle said, “I’m going out to his barn and shoot one of his mules!” Mantle drove like a maniac to the barn. Martin protested, “We can’t do that!” But Mickey was adamant. “Just watch me,” he shouted.
When they got to the barn, Mantle jumped out of the car with his rifle, ran inside, and shot the mule. As he was leaving, though, he heard two shots, and he ran back to the car. He saw that Martin had taken out his rifle, too. “What are you doing, Martin?” he yelled. Martin yelled back, face red with anger, “We’ll show him! I just killed two of his cows!”
Anger can be dangerously contagious, and our friends influence the direction and quality of our lives.
Proverbs 12:26 tells us to be careful and deliberate about the kinds of friends we choose: “Those who live right are good guides to those who follow, but wrongdoers will steer their friends down the wrong path.”
The thing that makes friendship so great is the same thing that makes friendship so dangerous. The reason we’re attracted to certain people is because we’re all acceptance magnets. We are repelled by rejection, we are attracted to acceptance, and when we’re with people who accept us, we drop our guard.
When we’re in an environment where we’re completely accepted, we are open to the influence of the people around us. That’s what makes friendship so great; it’s what makes friendship so dangerous.
Acceptance leads to influence. We need to be careful because we often become just like the people we hang around.
According to Proverbs 13:20: “One who walks with the wise becomes wise, but whoever keeps company with fools only hurts himself.” The apostle Paul picked up on this when he wrote: “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
A guardrail is a system designed to keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas. A guardrail is designed to take the impact, and to keep the damage from being as bad as it could have been and should have been. The whole idea of a guardrail is to create a small accident to protect you from a worse accident.
Guardrails are never placed in the danger zone. Guardrails are always placed two or three feet from the danger zone.
What if there were mental guardrails in our relationships that kept us a safe distance from disaster? What would that look like?
While we all struggle with self-centeredness, it’s really tough to build a relationship with people who incessantly think only of themselves. Proverbs 18:1: “An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment.”
Avoid friends that are selfish.
You may have heard the story of two friends who met for dinner in a restaurant. Each requested filet of sole, and after a few minutes the waiter came back with their order. Two pieces of fish, a large and a small, were on the same platter. One of the men proceeded to serve his friend. Placing the small piece on a plate, he handed it across the table. "Well, you certainly do have nerve!" exclaimed his friend. "What's troubling you?" asked the other. "Look what you've done," he answered. "You've given me the little piece and kept the big one for yourself." "How would you have done it?" the man asked. His friend replied, "If I were serving, I would have given you the big piece." "Well," replied the man, "I've got it, haven't I?"
Proverbs 19:4: “Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man’s friend deserts him.” Those who use you will eventually break things off when they’ve taken what they’ve wanted.
Avoid friends who use you.
Hettie Green was an infamous millionaire. She lived in seclusion and became a virtual recluse. She had only a few friends and an ugly mongrel dog that kept biting the few friends she did have.
One of them said, "You’ve got to get rid of that dog." Hettie refused. She said, "That dog loves me and he doesn’t even know how rich I am."
Proverbs 20:19 : “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.” The phrase “betraying a confidence” was used to describe the stripping off of armor and the clothing of captives. If you’ve ever experienced the agony of gossip, you can attest to feeling vulnerable and defenseless. You don’t have to put up with people stripping you of your dignity with their venomous verbiage.
Avoid friends that gossip.
One day on vacation a known gossip visited the offices of The Chicago Daily News. She was wearing a white dress and inadvertently leaned against a wall where a freshly printed copy of the front page was hanging. It was a hot, humid day, and some of the print came off on the back of her white dress.Later, as she walked down the street to meet her husband, she noticed that people walking behind her were snickering. When she reached the place where her husband was waiting, she asked him if there was anything on her back that shouldn't be there. As she turned around, he read the large black reversed letters: sweN ylaiD. Realizing the appropriateness of the words, he said, "No, dear, nothing's on your back that doesn't belong there."
When we hang with people who do bad things, we learn the same thing ourselves.
Avoid friends that lead you astray
Children who see physical violence between their parents are six times more likely to abuse their own spouses after they marry. If those children were also hit by their parents as teenagers, they are 12 times more likely to abuse their spouses.
Sometimes, it is good to do without friends. There was fella back in the 19th century by the name of Lorenzo Dow, whom folks called Crazy Lorenzo Dow. It seems that when Brother Dow was only four or five, he asked a playmate if he said his prayers every day. The playmate, obviously a good Baptist, said "No." Young Lorenzo stood up and said, "Then you are very, very wicked and I shall not play with you." Now some of ya are sayin’, "The child was demented" or "That’s a bit much isn’t it?" I reckon not. Lorenzo grew up to be a mighty fiery preacher. Once when all but one family in a town abused him and threw him out of town, a flood came and the only house that was spared was the house of the family that treated him well. I don’t know if God sent the flood as a judgment on the town or God just spared that house during a routine flooding of the area. Either way, I suspect the folks in the town did some rethinking of their position on the Gospel, that family and Crazy Lorenzo Dow. They found out that it was them and not Lorenzo that was all wet.Lorenzo had the right idea as a child. He knew that no matter how much you want friends you must choose your friends carefully because they will affect you. Some will affect you for evil.
Faithful FriendsA man's dog stands by him in prosperity and in poverty, in health and in sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground, where the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only he can be near his master's side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. When all other friends desert, he remains. When riches take wings and reputation falls to pieces he is as constant in his love as the sun in its journey through the heavens. If fortune drives the master forth an outcast in the world, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him to guard against danger, to fight against his enemies. And when the last scene of all comes, and death takes the master in its embrace, and his body is laid away in the cold ground, no matter if all other friends pursue their way, there by his grave side will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws, his eyes sad but open in alert watchfulness, faithful and true even to death.
When Howard Hughes was worth approx. 4 billion dollars, he reportedly said, “I’d give it all for one good friend.” Proverbs provides us with a composite picture of what a faithful friend looks like.
Loving
Proverbs 17:17 sums up the first quality of a faithful friend: “A friend loves at all times…” A loving friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you just the same.
A faithful friend loves at all times, even when we make mistakes. A faithful friend lets you know that you’re a valuablemember of God’s team. A friendwho loves hangs in there with you even when you feel like crawling into a hole.
Consistent
A faithful friend loves you and is also someone you can count on: “Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father…” (27:10). To “not forsake” means that a consistent friend doesn’t let you go or turn his back on you. He or she is dependable. Erma Bombeck has said, “A friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though you’re a little cracked.”
Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league baseball. Breaking baseball’s color barrier, he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error. The fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered. Then, shortstop Pee Wee Reese came over and stood next to him. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet.
Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career.
Forgiving
When we spend time with people we will inevitably hurt them, either intentionally, or unintentionally. A faithful friend is someone who will cut you some slack and forgive you for what you’ve done, without bringing it back up into your face. Proverbs 17:9: “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
Someone has said that if you really want to know who you friends are…just make a mistake and you’ll know.
You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
Confidential
A faithful friend is one who doesn’t share your secrets with others. Proverbs 11:13: “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Do you have a friend you can be completely real with? Do you put things “in the vault” when someone shares something with you? Do your friends feel safe with you?
Sharpening
A true friend is one who helps you become who God has made you to be. Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Someone once said, “A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you’ve been, accepts who you’ve become and still gently invites you to grow.” We all need friends who will sharpen us by giving us advice and counsel: “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel” (27:9).
Sensitive
A faithful friend is also one who is aware of the needs of others. They know when to give space and when to offer grace. Proverbs 25:17: “Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—too much of you, and he will hate you.”
James S. Hewett tells of a neighbor he had who was trying to put a TV antenna on his roof, but was having a terrible time. Hewett decided to give him a hand. He went over and took with him his best tools and soon had the antenna up. His neighbor asked him what he made with such fancy tools. Hewett replied, “friends, mostly.”
Honest
A faithful friend is not afraid to tell the truth when we need to hear it. This truth telling can be a good thing, if it’s delivered in the right spirit and received with the right attitude. Proverbs 27:5-6: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Oscar Wilde has said, “A true friend always stabs you in the front.” Faithful friends speak the truth for our benefit and also for theirs according to Proverbs 28:23: “He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.”
Proverbs 18:24: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Some of the most miserable people in the world are those who have pinned their hopes for fulfillment on other people only to have those people fail them. God created you with a void in your life that cannot be filled by relationships. He longs for you to find what you’re looking for in a friendship with His Son. He is the missing piece. He is what you’ve been looking for.
How well are you building and maintaining godly friendships?
Becoming a True Friend--Brian BillMaking Friends, Keeping Friends, Influencing Friends--Steve ShepherdWounds From A Friend--Steve ShepherdProverbial Wisdom--Steve ShepherdWhy Can't We Be Friends--Andy Stanley
