Soor Plooms and Sair Knees

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Growing up in Scotland after the War. Written and Illustrated by Bob Dewar Designed by James Hutcheson

Text of Soor Plooms and Sair Knees

  • soor plooms and sair knees 1

    a n d sair

    knees

    Soor Plooms

    Growing up in Scotland after the War

    soo

    r ploo

    ms a

    nd

    sair k

    nees

    Bob D

    ewarsoor plooms and sair knees

    Written and Illustrated by BoB Dewar

    Growing up in Scotland after the War

    Soor Plooms and Sair KneesGrowing up in Scotland after the War

    BoB DeWar

    One of Scotlands best-known illustrators

    looks back to post-war Scotland a time

    of penny trays, Brylcreem, jeely making,

    cub scouts, outside lavvies, coal fires, family

    Sunday walks, Cowboys and Indians, mangles,

    allotments and smallholders. Beautifully

    illustrated with over a hundred brush-and-ink

    colour drawings, Soor Plooms and Sair Knees

    is an affectionate and nostalgic personal

    homage to more innocent times, when

    children could play in the street after dark

    and a Wii meant something else entirely.

    12.99

    BoB Dewar was born in the Simpson

    Maternity Pavilion in Edinburgh. He was

    incubated for a while before his family

    moved to Arbroath. He still remembers

    being pushed, aged one, through the streets

    near the Abbey in a high pram whilst

    wearing a blue hand-knitted beret.

    He was first published nationally at fifteen

    sans beret. He has illustrated about

    forty books for Oxford University Press

    and Birlinn among others. He regularly

    contributes illustrations to the Scottish Field

    and, for fifteen years, drew political and

    social commentary stuff for The Scotsman.

    He has been married to novelist Isla Dewar

    for two hundred years and now lives deep

    in the Perthshire/Fife countryside where

    Isla and he feed tame pheasants from the

    kitchen window with digestive biscuits.

    Cover design by James Hutcheson

    9 781841 588629

    ISBN 978-1-84158-862-9

    www.birlinn.co.uk

    Written and Illustrated by BoB DeWar

    Soor Plooms Cover (Final).indd 1 07/10/2010 17:10

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    Growing up in Scotland after the War

    b i r l i nn

    Soor Ploomsand Sair Knees

    Written and Illustrated by BoB Dewar

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    First published in 2010 byBirlinn Limited

    West Newington House10 Newington Road

    EdinburghEH9 1QS

    www.birlinn.co.uk

    Text and artwork copyright Bob Dewar 2010

    All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form without

    the express written permission of the publisher.

    ISBN: 978 1 84158 862 9

    The moral right of Bob Dewar to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents

    Act 1988

    British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication DataA catalogue record for this book is available from the

    British Library

    Designed and typeset by James Hutcheson

    Printed and bound

    by Bell & Bain Ltd, Glasgow

  • soor plooms and sair knees 5

    Contents

    Introduction 7

    The Lone Ranger Rides Again 11(On the Golf Course)Childhood Delights and Diversions

    Teachers, Times Tables 37and the Tawse School Can the Mangle 49Box Brownie Snapshots of Everyday Life Potted Heid and Broken Biscuits 77Shopping, Austerity Style Dry Lavvies and Tattie Howking 85Life in the Rural Hinterland Soggy Swimsuits and Spam Sandwiches 105Holidays at Home, Not Abroad

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    Haddies

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    Introduction

    IT WAS A TIME OF IMAGINATION. A time, some say, of charm and innocence. But such comments

    are always made in retrospect, and I simply I got on with enjoying myself in a Scotland of post-

    war austerity. Austerity was normal. Being a free-range child was normal. Nae problem.

    This was a time of best pals who were called best pals, of imaginary cowboys and Indians

    on the golf course and in the back green. On Saturday mornings we went to film clubs in the

    local cinema; in the evening we listened to the radio. We ate home-cooked and home-baked

    foods, year-round comfort foods a lot of flour, sugar, lard, flaccid tripe, boiled white puddings,

    Swiss roll and cloutie dumplin with nicely coagulated custard. We worked it off with the four-

    times-a-day trek to and from school, playing street games and going for a wee message on

    behalf of every family in the street.

    It was a time of hand-knitted socks held up by a broad elastic garter that made an itchy

    red hand-knitted sock pattern on your leg. Once a week we went to the cubs and scouts. Wed

    emerge into a night that smelled of coal fires, a hot threepenny bit digging into our sweaty

    palms as we headed to the chippie. We built secret dens and Tarzie swings. And we were

    confused about God and germs because you couldnt see or hear either. My ordinary post-war

    austerity childhood was happy and perplexed in turn.

    At the root of my consternation was the total lack of enlightenment or worthwhile

    information from any adult. Was it true that some people had a lavatory inside their house?

    Or this seemed very unlikely a bath?

    What was university? Nobody I knew had gone there. Perhaps the elitist enclave of Eagle-

    comic-reading bairns of the car-owning minority the doctor, the minister, the heidmaster

    might have known about universities. And other local clever folk might also have known,

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    but they didnt play in the street with us of the underclass who were all headed for the terra

    incognita of grown-upness and the factory, where the rumoured indoor lavatory pans for said

    clever folk were made. Quite a mystery.

    Still, life was rarely dull. There was the interesting ramble to and from school. This included

    diversions to fascinating places the coal yard, a visit to the joiners yard to leap into the

    sawdust heap, the mart (abattoir) and the factory. The ramble did not include the fruit shop

    that had to be avoided at all costs on account of the rumoured deadly banana spider lurking

    there. One nip from him (or her), it was said, and complete paralysis of one side of the body

    would follow. There was also the trip to the sweetie shop for a long stare at the penny tray. Gob

    Stopper, Highland Toffee or liquorice root decisions were tough.

    In school we did a lot of chanting, starting with the times tables every morning. That was

    after prayers and a small bottle of milk that was usually warm because it was stored beside

    the huge clanking radiators. If you didnt want to drink the milk, you could amuse yourself

    by blowing down the regulation school straw rather than sucking. This resulted in a satisfying

    gurgling noise and a fair amount of bubbles. Teachers were terrifying. They wore black gowns

    and would stride the corridors shouting, You, boy! Hands out of pockets, trailing the scents

    of brylcreem and tobacco in their wake. Boys and girls were treated as separate species. They

    were discouraged from mingling. I spent a lot of time gazing at the girl across the aisle. Not

    that I lusted after her the object of my affection was her large, two-tier wooden pencil case,

    complete with well-sharpened pencils each with a rubber on the end.

    After school, I did a lot of staring, and there was plenty of scope for that in my street, with

    its regular visitors the rag-and-bone man, the woman who sold pink or whole milk from her

    dairy cart, the coalman who also had a horse and cart, and Alfie the sweep, who appeared black

    of face and trundling his equipment in a hand cart. My opinion of these people was gleaned

    from eavesdropping on adult conversations that I did not wholly understand. Alfie the sweep

    was rumoured to make a poor job of cleaning chimneys because every time he came by there

    were fewer and fewer bristles on his brush. I stared at all these people.

    When I wasnt staring at people, I was exploring the vast hinterland beyond the last half-

    built council house. This was another world arable countryside, the land of pick-your-own

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    brambles, tattie howking, raspberry picking, woods and fields alive with rabbits. I discovered

    smallholder family horticulture women in wrap-around floral aprons and black Wellingtons

    who made their own butter.

    There was the country estate with its run-down big hoose and the self-styled laird. He wore

    new hand lasted Jermyn Street brogues so we knew he wasnt old money. Old money always

    wore hand-me-downs. There was his gamie with a twelve-bore who shot and trapped weasels,

    stoats, rooks and other not obviously edible things. Hed string the carcasses on a gate as a

    warning to anything around that still had a pulse.

    Looking back on my childhood it seems less like another world and more like another

    planet. Yet at the same time it feels like it all happened days rather than decades ago. The

    drawings in this book are very much a personal journey into the past, but I hope for many who

    grew up at the same time they will bring back nostalgic memories, and for others, they will offer

    an amusing and illuminating glimpse into the way we lived not so very long ago.

    BOB DEWAR

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