Summary TalkSt Mark’s Coptic Church Scotland

Youth ConferenceOct. 2015

AimSummary of the journey so farCommon TrapsThe Healing JourneyWhy ResistancePractical StepsCommon Questions

In summary…No one had a faultless fatherhood.Our “father figure” affects our perception of

God’s fatherhood.God’s revealed Himself as a Perfect Father

The Lord will provideThe Lord that healsThe Lord my shepherdThe Lord is thereThe Lord who sanctifiesThe Lord is PeaceThe Lord is our righteousness

In SummaryThis is a call to discover and enjoy His

fatherhood.Not to blame or encourage victimisation.But to reconcile and get healed

The Lord breaks your chains in piecesYou need to draw the lineHe gave us what is HisHe is in me and I in HimTake the right direction and positionBe grateful for what you haveForgive & Intercede

Common Traps Avoiding Here and Now

Either Future or pastDenial of reality

DefensivenessFusion or identification

Splitting Either good or bad parent Idealise or denigrate

Hopelessness Irrecoverable damage

Common Traps Generalisation

They are all bad/the same Biased conclusion

I am the only oneKeeping the Gap

Between knowing and believing Surrender to Feelings

Bad/bitter/angry/failureShifting focus

On dad or me not God’s call and grace

The Healing JourneyNot mere change of thoughts but

Experience that involves feelingsChange of beliefs Change of behaviour

Having The Mind of Christfor, "Who has known the mind of the Lord

so as to instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ. 1Co 2:16

Revelations, exchange, joy and change, hunger for more, Revelations

The Healing JourneyTargets various distortions

Self image/ identityImage of GodViewing others

Involves negative feelingsA woman giving birth to a child has pain

because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. Jhn 16:21

The Healing JourneyGrowth in relationship

No individualismDivine-human act

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God. 1Co 2:12

I need to fear not andMake a choice

Who Wants to Change?

Who Wants to Change?The crowd rebuked them and told them to be

quiet, but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!"

Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked. Mat 20:32

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" John 5:6

ResistanceI feel like I have walls

around me.I find it hard for the

words to go deep in my heart.

Truth feels distant.Part of me doesn’t

accept the Fatherhood of God.

I have mixed feelings.

Reaction to “Trauma”

Reaction to “Trauma”Feelings/

Body Sensations

Behavioural Patterns

Life Rules and

Principles

Default Beliefs

Example:- Submit

- Withdraw

I must please others

I am Unlovable

ExampleKeep people

away

I shouldn’t trust

I am not safe

ExampleSeeking approval

Unless it’s perfect…

I am not good enough

Can God Invade My Resistance?For the word of God [is] living

and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Heb 4:12

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; Eph 6:17

Has He done it before?

How About My Feelings?For God is my witness, how greatly I long for

you all with the affection of Jesus Christ. Phl 1:8

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Phl 4:4

We have myths about feelingsThey always tell the truthThey cannot be changedI cannot induce feelingsThey occur without reason

Practical StepsWhat will you do

differently?What have you

Learned?

Time for Questions

Common QuestionsHow do I know I am not judging my dad?What’s the guarantee that opening up will

lead to healing?How can I make a start if I am lacking trust?How can I carry on if my feelings aren’t thereWhat is my role and what is God’s role?Why me?Where was God when I was vulnerable?What if I don’t know what it means to be a

dad?