Star Trek

ENTERPRISE

_____

The Interview

A Short Story By T.L. Shull

This short story is a fan written work and is not intended to infringe upon the

copyrights of Paramount Pictures, CBS Corporation, or Pocket Books. It is

provided free of charge to all fans for your enjoyment. Unauthorized copying or

reproduction is prohibited. “Star Trek” is a registered trademark of Paramount

Pictures and CBS Corporation.

Q Universe

Central District

Site of Merging of Q Galaxy and Q Galaxy

Q was bored.

He had been bored for centuries; no – for

millennia; no – for eons.

Watching the destructive power of a dumbbell

galaxy as it collided with a spiral was fun, but the

species that were being wiped out didn‟t have enough

potential to hold his interest. Besides, it was taking

longer than he thought for the two to merge to form a

new mega-galaxy. The super-massive black hole he

knew would develop at its center would take quite some

time and he was so … bored.

He had heard that an insignificant little spiral

galaxy on the outskirts of the Q Universe was beginning

to show signs of activity. Unlike those doomed by the

two galaxies he was observing now, this galaxy was on

the other end of its existence. It was only a few billion

years old and the life forms within it were only just now

beginning to hop from one particle to the next, like

microbes leaping from one grain of sand to another.

Q said that some of the life forms were actually

quite amusing. Of course Q didn‟t believe Q, he was

always ready with a joke, but he was so … bored.

The Continuum called the piss-ant galaxy „Q‟,

not like the other galaxies they called „Q‟ – this was Q.

Q Galaxy was literally in the suburbs of the Q Universe;

and in the suburbs of the Q Galaxy there was said to be

some amusing activity.

Q told him that several of the species that had

started to move…to evolve. Some species had already

become ethereal, but as with most „quick leapers‟ they

weren‟t likely to exceed expectations. As a matter of

fact, Q said the Organians were already becoming too

full of themselves while Q said that the Nagilum were

only slightly more interesting, becoming annoying,

pesky brooders of the Q Galaxy – but they had become

so pesky, they were forgetting to better themselves and

would most likely die out within an eon or two.

But Q always took a keener interest in the

biological forms. They had a tougher road ahead of

them. They were known as the ‘slow leapers’. They

were the ones who took their time. Of course they would

die out quickly if they missed the mark, but if they

didn‟t, he felt that they were the ones who would jump

clear out of their own galaxy and maybe, just maybe out

of this prison called Q Universe by the Continuum.

The Continuum had been trying for eternity to

get out of Q Universe – to look and see what other

universes laid outside; but long ago they had been told

by the Operators that they would not be able to find the

answer to move out of Q Universe until the Symbiotic

Ones evolved.

And so the Continuum set about Q Universe to

try to find the species that would evolve…the ones that

would supposedly help them find the answer to getting

out of this boring hell-hole and see what else was out

there.

Q wanted to be the one to find them, to help

them, to assist them – without altering anything of

course, The Operators put strict rules on what The

Continuum could do – but just to help ease them down

the road a bit.

It just so happened that recently Q told Q who

told Q that there were some fascinating, albeit crude,

species developing in Q galaxy.

And Q was so ... bored.

So he gladly stopped observing the destruction of

Q Galaxy into Q Galaxy and decided to travel to the

suburbs to see what was up.

The trip was instantaneous.

He skimmed over the planets on the Q Galaxy to

view the emerging species for himself:

Vulcans?

Too pragmatic. Oppressive even. Why deny

emotion? Emotion is a core response to the flow of the

universe. They deny their very fabric! NO.

Tellarites?

Uh…cranky little hairy things. No.

Andorians?

Too suspicious. They are cute though – but, no.

Pakleds?

Ha!

Romulans? Klingons? Remans? Ocampa?

Talaxians? Dinaali? Denobulans? Cardassians?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no and no.

Borg?

Hmmm.

No, but will be interesting and maybe even a

threat. Notice sent to Continuum: Galaxy Q. Borg.

Observe.

Fluidic space species?

Quaint, but no.

Changelings?

Ugh – Changelings. Pathetic creatures. Need

refining. No.

Q was about to give up hope of finding anything

remotely fun in Q Galaxy until he saw something that

tripped him up.

A tiny ship.

A silver, tubular speck of metal departed an only

slightly larger speck of dust – an infinitesimally small,

blue, water-covered blip of a thing …

He soared closer.

Earth? Terra?

He watched from afar because the Vulcans had

noticed the tubular speck too. When something piques

the interest of a Vulcan, Q knew there might be a spark;

Vulcans only operated out of fear and jealousy, and he

knew they would move in to control things.

This would be the test. Would the Terrans sit

back and let Vulcan dictate them? Or did they have the

capacity for independent thought – something The

Operators said was a necessary ingredient for the

Symbiotic Ones, for they had to be able to stand up the

Continuum themselves.

Q thought it was wholly impossible but he‟d give

it a try.

Why?

Because he was so ... bored.

By the time Q finished his next thought, he was

amused to see that the species, who called themselves

Human, had done something a little odd. Instead of

rejecting Vulcan, or even becoming their subjects, the

Humans were much cleverer than that. They had selected

bits and pieces of advice from Vulcan and used the best

parts to start their own path.

They ended war. They ended poverty. They still

had to get rid of economy of scale, but that would come

with time – and time was something Q had in

abundance.

Q smirked. As Q had said, the species in this

galaxy had been terribly amusing to watch, but certainly

this Human species would only survive a few more

centuries.

It was a shame really; Q had always hoped the

Symbiotic Ones would be a biological species. The very

idea of it rubbed the Continuum the wrong way, and he

certainly enjoyed watching the Continuum when they

were rubbed the wrong way.

He was just about to turn back towards

Downtown – the center of the universe – when his eye

caught the flash of another ship departing the tiny blue

speck. This time it moved away from its own system and

started to move about the other grains that littered the

droplet of its galaxy.

He let several other thoughts drift through his

mind and when he turned his attentions back to the little

frontier ship that called itself Enterprise NX-01, he

allowed himself to forget how bored he was.

They were actually on the brink of forging an

alliance? Multiple species gathering together? Vulcans

even? Tellarites too? The most crotchety of all species in

this stupid little whirl and the Humans got them to play

along? They got Andorians to stay in the same room with

Vulcans, let alone be close to having them agree to

combine forces?

Who are these Humans?

He looked closer. There was definitely one who

was the flashpoint for this. A strange looking thing –

well, all humanoids were weird looking – but he was

unique among them. He was the reason the Humans

were able to persuade the others to shape-up or ship-out.

Q was intrigued.

His boredom dissipated and he veered in for

closer inspection of the creature. He blinked in to view

the bridge of the microscopic tin can.

Q wanted to know more about this … this …

Captain.

Who is he?

***

Captain Jonathan Archer was startled awake in

his bed on the NX-01 when his water polo ball fell on his

head.

Annoyed, he jumped up and tried to figure out

what caused the ship to pitch so hard then realized that

the ship hadn‟t entered any turbulence at all.

He looked to the ball now rolling on the deck

towards the dog bed where his beagle Porthos watched it

with a tilted head of canine curiosity.

Archer rubbed his forehead where the bright

yellow ball had smacked it. “I must have placed it too

close to the edge of the shelf last night, Porthos. The

vibration from the warp core probably tipped it over.”

Archer scowled when Porthos suddenly jumped

up and began to growl at him. Confused by the beagle‟s

reaction, Archer leaned forward and with concern said,

“What did I say?”

“I think it doesn‟t like you,” said a cool, male

voice from behind him.

Archer shot off the bed and turned in a fit of

shock and fear to see a dark-haired, middle-aged man,

shirtless, but obviously dressed in the same pajama

bottoms as him, resting on the bed where he once lay.

“Who the hell?!” he yelled loudly.

Porthos began barking relentlessly at the intruder.

The man smirked with annoyance at the dog. “Do

you mind?” He ever-so-slightly moved his hand with a

dismissive gesture and Porthos vanished from sight.

Infuriated and still in fight-or-flight mode

brought on by the sudden rush of adrenaline, Archer

bolted for the comm button on the opposing wall.

“Bridge this is the Captain! Intruder alert!”

The man didn‟t flinch and only shook his head

pathetically. “They can‟t hear you. It‟s just you and me

now.”

Archer spun back to look at the man now

sprawled out over his bed. “Who the hell are you?!”

“Name‟s Q.”

“Q?! What kind of a name is that?”

The man obviously took offense and sat up in the

bed. “Well what kind of a name is Archer? Sounds twice

as dumb if you ask me...”

“What are you doing here? What do you want?!”

Archer looked to the now empty dent in the pillow where

Porthos once rested, “and what the hell did you do with

my dog?!”

The man calmly stood from the bed, pursing his

lips. “Tsk, tsk, tsk Captain, is your species always so

defensive?”

Archer was incredulous. “You just appeared in

my bed, scared the living daylights out of me, made my

dog vanish and you think I‟m being defensive? You

haven‟t seen the beginning of defensive bub…” Archer

launched himself at the man in fury but the man

disappeared in a quick flash of light before Archer could

reach him. Archer crashed face-first onto his bed.

“Hmm...” The voice emitted from thin air.

Archer spun his head in every direction, fury

oozing out of his very pores.

“You bullied them!” said the voice with a startled

tone.

Archer yelled at the air around him, “Bullied

who? Who are you?!”

“I told you already you pathetic little flea: I. Am.

Q.”

Archer rolled his head over his shoulders then

rolled his shoulders themselves trying to ease the tension

that had sprung in his muscles. He jutted his jaw forward

and decided to ignore the being and just get himself

dressed. He moved to the drawer and pulled out his

uniform, but before he could drop his pajamas, he looked

down to see that he was already dressed in his uniform.

He ran his hands over himself to make sure it was real.

“I didn‟t really need to see you undress,” the

voice said and a flash of light revealed the brown-haired

man once more, except he was also dressed in an

identical uniform as Archer. A thin yellow strip crossed

his chest and lilted down off the shoulder of the royal

blue suit and four rectangular pips shone from the right

side of his chest.

Archer stood still. He let his anger stew as he

glared at the being who now sat on the edge of his bed.

“I suppose this is how you make first contact with all

new species?” Archer snarled. “Hell of a way to make an

impression.”

Q pursed his lips and smiled sarcastically, “I‟m

not here to make an impression on you Captain. I‟m here

to see what kind an impression you can make upon me.”

“You do this by frightening other species? What

kind an impression do you think we would make?”

Archer could feel his blood pressure start to ease. If this

entity wanted to harm him he likely would have done so

by now.

“It‟s been interesting so far: adrenaline rush,

attempt to kill and now stepping back to see what I‟m

going to do next. It‟s a bit reactionary, but normal for

primates,” Q replied lightly.

Archer tried to put order in his head. “Who are

you?”

Frustrated, Q crossed his arms across his chest.

“Are you deaf? I told you. I am Q.”

Archer rolled his eyes. “Yes. You told me you

are Q. But what is your species?”

“Q.”

Archer bit his lip. “Your species is Q.”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a name…yourself?”

“Q.”

Archer tried to keep himself from falling into one

of Trip‟s Abbot and Costello movie routines. He took a

deep breath in and spoke once more…very calmly.

“Your species is Q and your name is Q?”

“Yes.”

Archer tried desperately to keep from rolling his

eyes. “Okay then. I am Captain Jon…”

“Captain Jonathan Archer of the Earth Starfleet

ship Enterprise, registration number NX-01, currently en

route to its home planet of Terra or Terra Prime,

affectionately known as Earth. Terra…Earth…same

word, two different languages. It means “dirt” or that

from which they came. English lost out to the Latin in

the fight over semantics but the species uses them

interchangeably because those who spoke English just

couldn‟t give up the fight…”

Archer was actually intrigued by this odd fellow

who sat so comfortably on his bed. “You seem to know

an awful lot about us. What can you tell me about you?”

Q let a wry smile cross his face and he lifted a

singular eyebrow. “In due course Captain. Tell me

something if you would, we noticed that you had

arranged for this little get together on Terra Prime, a

conglomeration if you will. It involves four species from

your neighborhood.”

Archer let a smirk cross his lips. “The Coalition

of Planets. We are on our way to sign the treaty right

now.”

Q stood rapidly. “Vulcans?”

“Yes.”

“And Andorians, together?” Q looked astounded.

“How Archer? How did you do it? How did you get

them to see past their stupidity?”

Archer let a frustrated huff escape his chest. “It

wasn‟t easy that‟s for sure. It took them a long time to

see that they had more in common than differences.”

“And the Tellarites? They‟re rude little hairy

things. How did you get the Vulcans and the Andorians

to even speak to them?”

Archer smiled outright. “Tellarites only pretend

to be rude. Like you, they test their neighbors by jabbing

them first to see how they react.”

Q pulled his head back with false disdain.

“Ouch.”

“I only call „em like I see „em … Q.”

“You intrigue me Archer. Humanity … intrigues

me,” Q said with sincerity.

Archer‟s stomach turned. The entity's voice was

gentle and caring, but the look in this man‟s eyes said

something much, much deeper – as if the fate of the

Earth rested solely in his glare. “I‟m not so sure that‟s a

good thing,” Archer replied honestly.

Q smiled. “You may not be a dumb as you look.

Well, I‟m off. I‟m going to watch this Coalition for

awhile. See if it develops any … potential.”

“Well, I can‟t say it was a pleasure meeting you.

Next time you stop in, do you mind knocking first?”

“You‟ll never remember anyway, so why should

I care?”

“Excuse me?” Archer stated, but woke up when a

water polo ball struck him on the head. He sat up and

looked around and watched as the bright yellow ball

rolled slowly across the deck toward Porthos who stared

at it with the tilted head of canine curiosity.

“Hmm… “ Archer rubbed his forehead, felt to

see if the ship would encounter any more turbulence,

then rolled over and went back to sleep.

-Fin-