STUCK INSIDE DAMASCUS (with the memphis blues again?)

8/3/2019 STUCK INSIDE DAMASCUS (with the memphis blues again?)

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STUCK INSIDE DAMASCUS (with the memphis blues again?)

Dedicated to Bashar al-Assad

I wake up in DamascusTo some noise out in the townI open up the windowCant you people hold it down?

I spot a soldier standingAnd I clear my throat, "Ahem!"He sees me up above him

And he shouts, You're one of them!"

I start to close the windowBut he's Johnny-on-the-spotHe tells me Im a prisnerOf the al-Mukhabarat.

He takes me to his SergeantIn a room without a view.

Who says that he has proof thatI'm an agent of the Jews.

He shows me sevral photosOf a club at Thomas GateThat bars a Mossad hangoutYou were there. Its check and mate.

I sign a typed confession

And I thought that we were through.But no, he tells the soldier,Take him up to the HQ."


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The Captain at HeadquartersHes a thug, his names Farooq

He takes one look and muttersHell, that aint no Jewboy spook."

He tears up the confessionAnd he kicks me in the balls.He says, Youre in al-QaedaGive it up and tell me all.

I rattle off a story

How I trained in Pakistan.And taught Mohammed AttaHow to slip through airport scans.

They type a new confessionAnd I sign my autograph.Farooq decides to send meTo the Army Chief of Staff.

They toss me in a dungeonIn a place both dark and dankThey leave me there for six daysAnd the food they gave me stank

The seventh day this colonelWho is one of Bashars friendsHe drives up to the prisonIn a pink Mercedes Benz.

He glares at all around himAnd he huffs and puffs and roarsHis helpers cringe and trembleAs he calls for blood and gore.


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He looks at me and hollersYoure a liar! Youre a fake!

You never were al-Qaeda.Did you think youd get a break?

He tears up the confessionAnd he stomps and kicks a chairYoure CIA, I know it.Its a fact as clear as air.

I sign a new confession.

As they watch the drying ink,They post my face on YouTubeAnd they throw me in the clink.

They tell the world they got imBoth the plotter and the plotThey have it down on paperHow this "terrorist" was caught

Each Friday before Moslem prayerThey trot me out to say,Im an agent of al-QaedaOf the Jews and CIA.

So that is all my story.And each word I swear is trueIm stuck inside DamascusGuess its better me than you

But if you ever go thereAnd youre feeling in a rutDont go looking for trouble, Dude,Just keep the window shut.


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And stay out of the daylightAnd just sit there like a monkAnd pour yourself a strong one

Hell, you might as well get drunk

'Cause it's crazy in DamascusLike a parallel universeWhere all the cops are criminals.And it only can get worse.

And the President's a werewolfHis brother's a bombadier.

His wife's locked in a tower.She stares into a mirror.

And the Parliament's a peep show.The Prime Minister's a chump.The Grand Mufti's a hunchback.The Mosque's an ammo dump.

Now what's that sound we're hearing?Is it a wounded tiger's roar?

Or a regime in the throes of dying?Let it die like the dinosaur.

Take care not to lose that ticket.It's for the last train to the coast.You do not want to be stuck here,And end up being toast.

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STUCK INSIDE DAMASCUS (with the memphis blues again?)