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Meeting People - Shaking Hands - Introductions Meeting People: The key components of meeting people and introducing yourself consist of: Eye Contact, Good Posture, Smile (act like you’re happy to meet them), and offer up a good firm handshake.
Shaking Hands: There’s nothing worse than starting off on the wrong foot with a bad handshake! To offer up a stellar handshake, extend your hand and meet the other persons hand, palm to palm, fingers outstretched, with the webbing of your thumb making contact with the webbing of their thumb. Grip with a nice amount of pressure to create a ‘firm’ handshake. Gentlemen not TOO firm - this is not an arm wrestling contest! Offer a few firm pumps up and down and release.
Introductions: While shaking hands, offer up something along the lines of “Hello, I’m Mike.”
Seating for Ladies Chair Before you begin to be seated, feel the chair with the back of your legs (this way you KNOW the chair is there and you won’t end up missing it.)
Sitting As you begin to be seated, smooth the back of your skirt.
Seated Once you are seated, cross your legs at your ankles, and place one hand over the other on your lap.
Knees together Don’t forget to keep you knees together. Act as if there is a rubber band keeping them in place.
Seating for Gentlemen Chair Before you begin to be seated, feel the chair with the back of your legs (this way you KNOW the chair is there and you won’t end up missing it).
Sitting As you begin to be seated, unbutton your jacket.
Seated Once you are seated, both feet should remain flat on the floor, parallel, with your hands on your thighs.
Escort Position Gentlemen Taking your right arm, make a fist and place your right fist at you your top button, creating a triangle between your arm and your body.
Ladies Place your left fingertips (not your entire hand) lightly onto the gentleman’s forearm. He’s not to be leaned on and used as a ‘walking stick’.
Mealtime Manners Take a look at your calendar for the next week and schedule a ‘date’ (or two or three) with your family for good old-fashioned ‘family-face-time’ (FFT). It doesn’t have to be fancy. Keep it simple and as stress free and as much FUN as possible. FUN is when great things happen.
Determine if FFT will take place at home around the table or choose a restaurant where it can be accomplished (no TVs distracting with the game overhead).
The goal is for whomever is participating to sit at the table for a meal with no distractions. This will be just as hard for mom and dad - no cell phones and no TV. Think quality FFT. Believe it or not, teenagers really do want uninterrupted quality time with their parents - even if they don’t act like it. By planning ahead and exerting a little bit of effort in small stages, we can start now to prepare for mealtime outings with family, friends, and even colleagues... without cringing at the thought of the idea.
If FFT will be taking place at home, determine what will be served. Again, keep it simple. Maybe take turns amongst the family deciding what’s on the menu.
Who: Who will be participating? ____________________________________________
What: What is the Menu? ________________________________________________
Who will help in the kitchen? _____________________________________________
When: When is your FFT Dinner Date? ______________________________________
Where: Where will you eat? ______________________________________________
Conversation Starters: Flip over to the other side of this Explorer’s Guide to get the Conversation Started.
Other Conversation Starter ideas:
• What was the highlight of your day?
• What was the lowlight of your day? How could you have done something different to make it better? Or to have a different outcome?
Create your own Conversation Starters: _____________________________
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Explorers Guide
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‘Actions’ and ‘Customs’ for Smooth Sailing of the Social Seas
Planning Ahead Develop a plan and be ready to alter your course if necessary. Just as your Smartphone map app offers you ‘3 Routes’, there will always be more than one way to get to your destination or end result. Putting your plan (or goals) in writing will allow you to see where you’re headed; helping to make your vision a reality. And don’t forget, sometimes being flexible allows for the best plans to evolve into the ‘perfect’ plan, after taking a minor detour.
First Impressions There’s a well-known phrase that I reference quite often: ‘You never have a second chance for a first impression’…. Everything from posture, facial expression, clothing, to your handshake helps to create that first impression. Within 30 to 60 seconds of meeting someone, people begin forming positive or negative impressions about you. Within three to six minutes, they have usually decided whether or not they wish to spend any more of their time getting to know you better. Research studies at UCLA by Albert Mehrabian show that 55% of the first impressions we make are non-verbal. How we use our voice makes up 38% and 7% of our impression is made up by the words we say.
First Impressions and Technology Emailing and texting are great formats in which to impart specific information, but we're missing out on each other's very important nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, gestures and eye contact. You loose the visual and vocal components which make up over 90% of the First Impression experience. Think about the statistics above when choosing how you communicate with people. How much of your personality or expression are you forfeiting by texting or emailing. Make sure your electronic communication reflects the image you want to portray.
Class One Level 78 (7/8th Grade) – Bon Voyage
Personal Brand Coke, McDonald’s, Starbucks. But those are ‘National’ brands - why do I need to be worried about me, and my ‘personal’ brand? Whether you are a student applying for a scholarship or college entrance, on the hunt for a job, or even gainfully employed, you must think, act, and plan like a leader. With the social media world available at our every whim, you have the ability and the need to manage your own reputation, not only in the real world, but in the virtual world as well. Colleges and Employers will Google you before they even consider inviting you to interview. They’ll begin to create their ‘virtual’ first impression of you long before meeting you in person. You want to be in control of all of those impressions. Why leave your professional reputation to chance, when you can be your own PR pro and manage your image? Your personal brand is all about who you are and what you want to be known for. Make sure it’s good!
Posture Take a few minutes to think about the people you admire; the people you respect and look up to… I bet they have great posture. Good posture helps us to feel more confident and self-assured, it’s great for our self-esteem and it improves our appearance by making us look taller and slimmer. (Now if that’s not enough for us to stand up straight… I don’t know what it is.) Not only is good posture great for your self-esteem, but it’s beneficial to your health and well-being as well! Good posture has been cited as being beneficial to the brain, beneficial in reducing back pain, helpful in reducing body fatigue and aiding with overall general circulation. Now, take a minute and look at your posture… are you sitting up straight, are you standing up straight? What does your posture say about you and your first impression you make on others? Do you come off as self-confident and self-assured; or as having anxiety, low self-esteem and nervous?
Perfume and Cologne Have you ever been around someone who was wearing too much cologne? Goodness gracious - it’s enough to make you want to lose your lunch. Don’t Camouflage - Don’t even think about trying to cover up repugnant smells with perfume or cologne. The chemicals never compliment one another and always end up making the situation worse. If camo is necessary - grab the febreeze!
A little dab-‘l-do-ya! - Personal fragrance needs to be subtle. Especially when many people converge in the same area…too many scents in the same room can be overpowering. Ironically, perfume is supposed to make you more appealing. If you’re overdoing it so much it is making others ill, causing nausea, or even triggering a migraine - well then it’s failing miserably for its intended purpose. As a general rule, others should only be able to smell you when they step inside your own personal ‘scent circle’, about arm’s length away. A tip for removing too much perfume from your skin if you do over douse … rubbing alcohol, it works like a charm!
Note to Parents: The Explorer’s Guide has been created to help transfer what has been discussed and practiced during class into the ‘real world’ - making for an easier transition from ‘learning’ to ‘doing’. Working together on the Explorer’s Guide with your child gives you an opportunity to review, reinforce, and help implement what we are teaching in class. Students who complete their Guide, and turn it in at the next class, will be eligible for prizes. The prizes will be awarded at the end of each class for various activities, such as participation, quizzes, contests and Explorer Guide submittal. Completion of the Guide does not guarantee a prize.
Explorers Guide
Student Name: __________________________________________________________________
Website: www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com | Email: [email protected]
PO Box 720056, Oklahoma City, OK 73172 Cell 405-520-3527
Adult Educational Opportunities We have a great time in our Adult classes. Far from stuffy or formal; join us for a fun approach to polishing your professional and social skills for better relationships with colleagues and friends. We have a variety of lunch workshops available and are also available to work with your staff, organization, or speak to your groups. Some of the topics available include:
•Etiquette and the Generations – understanding “those guys” •Creating a Great Customer Service Experience •Business Etiquette and Professionalism •Networking Strategy for Networking and Luncheon Events •Professional Dress •Trade Show Booth Training •And much more
Here is the direct link: https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/forbusiness
Chaperone Opportunities Chaperoning is a great way to see your child in action!!! Please visit the website, www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com and click on the ‘Parent Chaperone’ page under the ‘Youth 5th-8th Grades’ tab. Here is the direct link: https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/parent-chaperones
JoinusonSocialMedia*!Don't forget to ‘follow’ and ‘like’ us on Facebook. If you’re on Instagram and Twitter, you can use the hashtag #ExpInEtq to share your family’s expeditions in etiquette. We can't wait to see the 'mannerly moments' you post. *If you’re under the age of 13 - you can have a parent post and tag us on Social Media on your behalf !
Facebook: Facebook - Expeditions in Etiquette Instagram: CareySueVegaInstagram - Student Ambassador account: Exp_In_Etq Twitter: Etiquette101
Social Media Photo Challenge Don’t forget to use the hashtags: #ExpInEtq We will randomly select photos to be highlighted in the “Weekly Updates” Email newsletter. If your photo is selected, you will get to go to the prize table during the next class. Here are some ideas for your photos: #1 - Friends #2 - FirstClass #3 - Jackets/Ties #4 - Dresses/Shoes
Expeditions In Etiquette
What IS Expeditions in Etiquette? Expedition: Journey, trip, outing Etiquette: Manners, customs, ‘Rules of acceptable Behavior’.
We wouldn’t go on a journey or trip without properly planning and preparing. In life, we need to prepare ourselves for many situations, both socially and professionally. By learning and understanding what the expected protocol is for an event before heading out, we will ensure that we feel more comfortable and confident in any setting. To accomplish this we will discuss the topic in class and practice with our peers. Then we will be prepared to put into practice what we've learned with improved confidence. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “there is a time and place for everything”. We’re all about fun, but knowing when to ‘drop anchor’ and knowing how and when to apply the rules of etiquette is your ticket to self-confidence.
Note to parents: Working on cruise ships for ten years provided me with many experiences from which I draw, relate, and share. Working with so many different nationalities and personalities opened my eyes to customs and traditions from around the world. My goal with Expeditions In Etiquette is to enable and empower students to feel comfortable and confident in their soft skills so they can go into any situation and handle themselves appropriately. One of the biggest problems facing businesses today is that young executives are coming into the workforce and expected to know how to entertain a client during a business lunch or fundraiser. The senior executives are not comfortable entrusting the junior executives with these seemingly simple tasks for fear of them embarrassing the company and brand by their unprofessional behavior (ie, lack of table manners, nonexistent conversation skills, inappropriate dress, etc.). Expeditions in Etiquette has been created to help students cultivate the social skills students need to prepare for life. By learning these skills in a safe harbor, we’re helping parents to equip their children for smooth sailing in the professional and social seas of life with confidence. Each of our programs builds on the previous; however, ‘basics’ are covered each year, as they are an integral part of the foundation.
Expeditions in Etiquette is centered around three basic principles:
CAPTAIN = GOD We glorify God with our words,
actions and deeds; offering hospitality and respect to our friends, family and colleagues.
COMPASS = ETIQUETTE The Rules of Etiquette are a great tool
to guide you on life’s journey. They act as a compass to keep
you on the right path when the professional and social seas of life get rough.
ANCHOR = MANNERS Knowing when to drop anchor,
knowing how and when to apply the rules of etiquette is your
ticket to self-confidence.
Attendance: Please have your son/daughter call or email if they are going to be absent from class. Makeup options may be available. Arrival: Classes will begin and end promptly. Students may arrive up to 10 minutes early. Dress Code: Following the dress code helps reinforce the courtesies we are teaching. Rule of Thumb: Conservative “Sunday” clothing is both professional and functional! Please visit www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com for more details on Dress Code. Here is the direct link: https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/dress-code-details Behavior: Cell phones and chewing gum are not allowed. Students are required to conduct themselves at all times in accordance with the courtesies taught. Photograph: Please don’t forget to email a digital picture of your child to help us with name/face recognition. Please email the picture, with the word “Picture” in the reference line to: [email protected] and be sure to include his or her name and grade. Why? Plain and simple - it gives us a cheat-sheet for learning the kids’ faces and names. I like to add a digital photo of each child to his or her registration information so that we can review names and faces before classes.
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Class One Level 78 (7/8th Grade) – Bon Voyage Class One Level 78 (7/8th Grade) – Bon Voyage
Quote: “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot”. - Clarence Thomas Kind Deed and Helping Hand: Perform a ‘kind deed’ and offer a “helping hand to someone else. Tell us about it: ______________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________Practice: Shaking hands Conversation Starter: Ask your parents, teacher or other adult family friend about shaking hands. Have they ever received a ‘bad’ handshake? Ask them tell you about it. What about greetings during a Pandemic or Epidemic? How should you adjust your greeting? Mission Accomplished: (adult signature) _______________________________________________
Practice: Sitting Conversation Starters: Why is it important to sit up straight? What if you are on stage receiving an award? How should you sit? What if you are in a job interview? How should you sit? What if you’re at your friend’s house? How should you sit? Mission Accomplished: (adult signature) _______________________________________________
Practice: Escort Position Conversation Starters: When would you ever have the opportunity to practice ‘Escort Position’ in real life? Why do you think it’s important to know what ‘Escort Position’ is? Mission Accomplished: (adult signature) _______________________________________________
Practice: ‘Actions’ and ‘Customs’ for Smooth Sailing of the Social Seas - Planning Ahead Conversation Starters: Why is this ‘action’ or ‘custom’ important to use on a regular basis? Why is it important to use with family? Friends? Colleagues? Mission Accomplished: (adult signature) _______________________________________________
Practice: First Impressions Conversation Starters: Ask your parents, teacher or other adult family friend about First Impressions. Have they personally ever felt as though they made a ‘bad’ first impression. What happened, how did they recover from the blunder, or did they? Have they met someone who made a ‘bad’ first impression on them? What happened? Mission Accomplished: (adult signature) _______________________________________________
Practice: Personal Brand Conversation Starters: Ask your parents, teacher or other adult family friend why it’s important to manage your ‘Personal Brand’. Mission Accomplished: (adult signature) _______________________________________________
Practice: Posture Conversation Starters: Ask your parents, teacher or other adult family friend why it’s Good Posture is important to a First Impression and to your ‘Personal Brand’. Mission Accomplished: (adult signature) _______________________________________________
Practice: Perfume and Cologne Conversation Starters: Ask your parents, teacher or other adult family friend why it’s important to be aware of your personal scent when it comes to First Impression and your ‘Personal Brand’. Mission Accomplished: (adult signature)_______________________________________________
The ABC’s of Hosting an Online Meeting A: Agenda Think about your game plan BEFORE the meeting. Make an agenda so you have a plan and know what you want to cover. If you really want a productive meeting, send a copy of the agenda out to your attendees when you send the invite link.
B: Be Prepared If you’ve never hosted a Zoom meeting, spend some time watching tutorials and learn about the platform and the tools. Then run through a test zoom with someone ahead of time.
C: Connection Make sure you have a good Internet connection.
D: Distractions Yes, this goes for both attendees and hosts. If you’re hosting, you want people paying attention and participating. Make sure your background is free from distractions, and noises. As the host, it’s not as easy to just hit mute if your dog is barking. If you will be sharing your screen, make sure all of your other tabs are closed.
E: Energy Make sure to keep a good attitude and be positive during the Zoom meeting. If people are not behaving appropriately or are getting off topic, keep a positive attitude and bring the meeting back to order. Your energy and attitude set the stage for the meeting.
F: Finish strong Thank everyone for participating. Plan ahead to record the call as a video and offer to send the playback link if requested.
Mask Manners Where masks are required, or recommended, we thought we’d share a few Mask Etiquette tips. Polite greetings are needed more than ever! While wearing a mask, greet people with a small wave and nod. It’s even more important now to smile when you meet people because your eyes and your voice will convey a kind and genuine greeting to others.
The DO’s: • Always wash your hands thoroughly before touching the mask. • Make sure to cover your mouth, chin and nose. • Avoid touching the mask or removing it around people. • Always clean your hands after removing the mask. • Treat your mask like your underwear, change it daily!
The DON’T’s • A mask should be snug across the chin and nose - not loose. • Don’t wear the mask under your nose. It should cover the nose at the bridge. • Don’t confront someone else about his or her lack of mask, or wearing it incorrectly. They may
have reasons for not wearing it, including a disability.
The ABC’s of Online Meeting Manners A: Arrive early Arrive early so the meeting can start on time. Test your equipment beforehand: video/mic, etc. If you’ve never been on a Zoom meeting before, search YouTube for some videos and try a test zoom with a parent or friend. By arriving early, you can also click on the link to ‘test computer mic and speakers’. You don’t want to waste the first 10 minutes of the meeting watching everyone get their equipment working.
B: Be Brief Don’t stammer, or monopolize the conversation. Zoom meetings have a different vibe and feeling from meetings in real life. When you stammer or monopolize the conversation, it makes it uncomfortable and awkward for the others in attendance.
C: Courteous and Kind Be courteous and kind to everyone as they navigate this new online process. If someone does make a mistake or embarrass themselves, don’t make a big deal about it - let it go.
D: Distractions Eliminate unnecessary distractions such as background noises, dogs, siblings, etc. Mute yourself if you do have background noises you can’t control. Make sure your background is appropriate. Is your room a mess? Do you have dirty laundry on the chair over your shoulder? Get out of bed and make sure to put appropriate clothes on! Try to position yourself with light shining on your face. If you’re sitting in front of a window, turn to face the window so the light is shining on you, not shining over your shoulder into the computer screen.
E: Eating? Don’t do it! And don’t chew gum either… we don’t want to see it, or hear it!
F: Focus Look into the camera, eye contact is important, don’t be looking off into the corner. If you are using a laptop or desktop, make sure your camera is at a good angle and people aren’t looking up your nose or at the top of your head. If you’re using your smart phone, don’t walk around - you’ll give the other attendees motion sickness!!! Same thing with ceiling fans, either crop them out of the camera, or turn it off. If you are using a phone, consider using a tri-pod or lean your phone against something so it’s stable.
Greetings during a Pandemic or Epidemic During “normal” times, professional greetings around the world vary from kissing on the cheek in many European countries, bowing in many Asian countries, to shaking hands as Americans do. But during a Pandemic, or Epidemic, people are leery of touching each other for fear of spreading germs.
When health concerns are at a heightened level, getting creative in your greeting by substituting a handshake with a wave, or hand over your heart still allows for you to greet the other person warmly without crossing into their personal space. No matter which socially distanced greeting you choose, do so with a sincere smile (even while wearing a mask - they can see the smile in your eyes) and attitude of looking out for the well-being of the person you’re greeting. This shows you’re being mindful of the germs that may be present and that your intentions mean well.
If you’d like to learn more, take a few minutes and watch the special with Mo Rocca from the CBS Morning Show where he digs into the handshake and shares an entertaining story: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/is-the-handshake-dead/
Interested in learning more about different cultures and greetings? There are many google searches that can shed light on the differences, but one of my favorite resources is the book series “Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands”. So much great information on cultural differences!
