Sweethearts BorrowedLucky Sweethearts Book Three

RACHEL A. ANDERSEN

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of theauthor’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2021 by Rachel A. AndersenAll rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without

written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of short quotations in a book review. Formore information, address: rachelandersen.author@gmail.com.

First paperback edition April 2021Book design by Rachel A. Andersen

www.amazon.com/author/rachelandersen

Table of ContentsTitle Page

Copyright Page

Sweethearts Borrowed (Lucky Sweethearts, #3)

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

Sweethearts Blue

About the Author

Books in the Lucky Sweethearts SeriesSweethearts Old - Book OneSweethearts New - Book Two

Sweethearts Borrowed - Book ThreeSweethearts Blue - Book Four

Need a Little Christmas SeriesA Little Christmas Pretense - Book OneA Little Christmas Conflict - Book Two

Other books by Rachel A. AndersenBackward Blessings - Blessings of Love Book Six

Birthdays and Boyfriends - a novelette

A

Chapter One

Alanlan Barrows was beginning to loathe Valentine’s Day. He scratched at the beard he’d grownover the holidays and hadn’t chosen to shave off even now, almost two months later.

He’d never hated the holiday before. As a kid, he’d enjoyed picking out funny cards for hisfriends and pairing them with some sweet treat for the class Valentine exchange. He even lookedforward to a future Valentine’s day when he would have a special someone to spoil and fawn overwith chocolates and flowers and the whole nine yards. But this year...

Alan rubbed his temple as he lifted the cell phone to his ear. Another voicemail by an unknownnumber.

“Hi Alan, it’s Faye Dunham. From Cassie and Liam’s Christmas party a few weeks ago. I hopeit’s okay that I got your number from Cassie—she didn’t think you’d mind—anyway, I’ve beenmeaning to call to see if we could...”

The perky female voice kind of made his skin crawl, remembering how this young woman hadgiggled at every word that came out of his mouth. Even “can I get you another cup of punch?”

Alan stopped the voicemail before he heard the inevitable conclusion. I’ve been meaning to callto see if we could go see a movie sometime. Cassie reminded me you like classic films. Maybe wecould grab a bite to eat beforehand. My treat.

He rubbed his eyes as he sat in the front seat of his car, parked outside Liam and Cassie’sapartment. Normally, he would have been overjoyed to find out that one of the women he’d met andeven flirted a little with at the party six weeks ago still remembered him. Even a giggler like FayeDunham.

Except that this was at least the fourth woman from that party to call him today alone. That was inaddition to the three women who had called yesterday. Some of whom he didn’t even remembermeeting at said party.

It didn’t take a psychologist to realize that something didn’t add up. That, perhaps, someone hadsaid something that had been taken to mean that Alan couldn’t find his own date for Valentine’s day. Itmight have been true, but that didn’t mean he was eager for every single woman in Colorado Springsto know he was that desperate for companionship.

He eyed the bouquet of flowers in his front seat. He could call and cancel. Liam and Cassiewould probably enjoy a Valentine’s day alone. One where they could be a real couple and not justsome babysitters to his lonely heart.

He squinted as he looked out the windshield of his beat up old Toyota. The fresh snow reflectedthe bright sunlight that filtered through the bare branches of the mature trees overhead. Someone hadshoveled the walkways, but other than that, the winter landscape looked untouched. Not even tracksfrom an animal.

Normally, he would have just said it looked beautiful and left it at that, but for some reason, theimage made his heart ache. Like he was the snow left to its own devices.

He let the back of his head fall against the headrest. Time to make a decision, Barrows. Wallowin self-pity while dodging these phone calls or go up and politely explain that while she mighthave had the best of intentions, Cassie shouldn’t give out your personal phone number withoutchecking with you first.

He even had an argument in case the woman didn’t understand why he had taken issue with heraction. He was a practicing psychologist. It would be bad if one of the women with his privatenumber was one of his former patients. Unprofessional. It would be worse if they were one of hiscurrent patients. He’d have to explain it was all a mistake. Maybe even recommend them to anothertherapist. Watch the breach of trust work through their expressions as they processed the rejection.

As a surgeon with her own ethical standards of care, he hoped that Cassie would understand theposition she’d put him in. Either that or she could better explain what had happened that seven of herfriends from the hospital had all called him in the last two days.

It’s natural to want to run and hide. Doesn’t mean it’s the best course of action, though.Alan took a deep breath. Then, braced himself for what might be an awkward morning of half-

apologies and regrets. Grabbed the flowers. Forced himself out of the car.Stop catastrophizing, Barrows.Alan slapped himself mentally to get out of his own head, then walked into the apartment building.

He wasn't sure if it was out of kinship or an unexpected reverence for the pure, unadulterated snow,but he also walked on the dry sidewalk.

As he reached the door, his cell phone buzzed again in his pocket. He stole a quick look. Anotherunfamiliar, out of state number.

It was either spam or another of Cassie's friends.He kind of hoped it was someone trying to sell him an extended warranty on his car. Or even an

automated voice claiming that the IRS demanded he pay them or face jail time. Anything other thananother woman who seemed to think he was inept enough at love that he needed their help.

He missed the days when it had just been him and Liam. Headed for burgers and basketball. Orwhen they’d gone together to get drinks and hopefully meet a nice woman to talk to for the evening.

Not that Alan held Liam’s serious relationship against him. He even liked the stunningly beautifulpediatric trauma surgeon Liam had picked up on a cruise to Alaska last June. He especiallyappreciated that unlike some of his friends, Liam hadn’t just dropped their friendship when a prettygirl had come his way. No, Cassie and Liam did kind things like invite Alan for Sunday brunch. Evenon Valentine’s day.

Undoubtedly, the couple had plans for the evening that wouldn’t include him, but it had been niceto be remembered when so many single people felt alone on this holiday.

At least... It would have been nice to be remembered if Alan’s phone hadn’t been blowing up withtexts and calls from women Cassie had apparently tried to set him up with.

It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the sentiment. He just wished they’d let him be bitter aboutbeing single in peace.

Alone.Like the apparently confirmed bachelor he was.He walked up the stairs to the second floor of the apartment complex and walked toward Cassie’s

front door. Before he had a chance to knock, however, it opened and Liam walked out with a whiteplastic garbage bag in one hand. The lieutenant colonel looked surprised to be face-to-face with Alan.“You’re here.”

Alan gave his friend a rueful look. “I was invited for brunch, Liam.”Liam’s brow furrowed. “I thought that was next week.”Alan shook his head. “Nope. You said Sunday. It’s Sunday.”Liam checked over his shoulder as he tugged the door closed. “Dude, I’m pretty sure I didn’t

mean this Sunday.”

Alan frowned. “Why not?”“Because it’s Valentine’s Day.”Alan clutched the flowers he’d brought in one hand. He should have known it was too good to be

true. Now he was stuck with a bouquet of flowers that he’d likely pawn off on the first woman hesaw. “I guess I thought you and Cassie were just being nice and inviting me so I wouldn't be alone onValentine’s day. I mean, it wasn’t a dinner invitation...”

Liam rubbed the back of his neck like he was embarrassed. “Yeah, that would have beenthoughtful, wouldn’t it?”

Alan studied his friend’s curious expression. “You really didn’t invite me over for thisweekend?”

Liam looked behind him at the closed door before he reached into his pocket and looked back atAlan. Out came a black velvet box. “I kind of had plans for the day.”

“Why, Liam, you shouldn’t have!” Alan feigned shock as he pressed a hand to his sternum. “It’sall so sudden.”

His friend rolled his eyes. “It’s for Cassandra, obviously.”Alan opened the box and looked at the princess cut diamond ring affixed to a white gold band.

“So, you’re going to pop the question. On Valentine’s Day.”Liam shrugged. “I was thinking about it. Things have been good between us since she moved here,

so it might be the right time, you know?”Alan kept his opinion to himself. Just studied the ring and the way the hall light danced off the

white diamond. “Is everything settled with her brothers and sister?”Liam frowned. “Uh, no. The lawsuit looks like it’s going ahead as scheduled, but I kind of think

it’s a bad idea for us to put our lives on hold while they figure out theirs.”For perhaps the first time in their friendship, Liam looked a little nervous as he snapped the ring

box closed again. “You think I’ve missed something touchy-feely, don’t you?”Alan pondered the question, hemming and hawing as he considered all the ramifications he could

think of. “Well, that depends. Does Cassandra share your philosophy that whatever’s going onbetween her brothers and sister shouldn’t affect your future?”

Liam stuck the ring back in his pocket, the initial excitement of the plan wearing off with Alan’sapparent questions. “That was one of the things I was hoping to find out later tonight. After I’ve pliedher with chocolates and roses and champagne all day.”

Alan bit back his initial response. Just because it wasn’t what he would have done in Liam’splace didn’t mean it wasn’t a good plan. In fact, there was ample evidence to suggest that if Alanwould have done something differently than Liam, it was Alan who should change his strategy.

Alan gestured at the door with the flowers in hand. “Which is why you want me to come back—”As if he’d knocked instead of wordlessly pointing at the apartment, the door behind them opened.

The woman with strawberry blonde waves framing her twinkling sea blue eyes appeared just on theother side of Liam, wearing a feminine apron over her navy blue dress. Her expression melted into awelcoming smile as she exchanged a questioning look with her boyfriend. “Alan, are you joining usfor brunch this morning?”

Alan opened his mouth to answer, but Liam just wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. “Actually,Cass, Alan got mixed up. Thought we were on for brunch today instead of next week.”

Cassie didn’t seem perturbed by the confusion. Instead, she grinned as she looked over at Alan.“Oh, you’re going to love Julie.”

The excuse Alan had on his lips to protect his friend’s plans died as he caught the implication.

For all Liam’s worry about the proposal he had planned, apparently, the real reason the meal hadbeen scheduled so precisely was because he wasn’t the only person supposed to attend it.

Alan tried to muster some ounce of enthusiasm to keep from hurting his friends’ feelings. “Right.Julie. Let me guess, she’s a super cute physical therapist who works too hard and hasn’t been able tomeet anyone outside of work?”

Cassandra’s smile tightened before she shook her head. “She’s not a physical therapist. She’s thereceptionist at my office, and if you’d rather not meet her, I can cancel.”

Apparently, Alan had hit a nerve. “Look, I don’t want to complain, but I’d be fine if it was just thethree of us at dinner from time to time. I mean, sure, I want to meet Ms. Right, but maybe we just needto let nature take its course.”

“Nature?” Liam looked distinctly skeptical at this prospect.Alan’s phone buzzed again, and he cursed under his breath. Another message. Yet a different

phone number. “Yeah, Liam. Nature. At this point, anything is better than the dozen dinner invitationsI’ve fielded in the last twenty-four hours.”

Cassie’s cheeks pinked. “A dozen, huh?”Liam frowned. “What happened? Did you win the lottery?”Alan tried to swallow the irritation that bubbled up. “Oh, nice, Liam. Because the only reason a

dozen women would want to go out with me is because I’m suddenly a gazillionaire.”“Come on, man, that’s not what I meant, and you know it.”Instead of trying to get to the bottom of the mixup that had his phone ringing off the hook, Alan let

his facial expressions communicate his displeasure at Liam’s callous response. “I’m just saying thatmaybe it’s time to take a little break from hitting the ground so hard with finding her. Maybe it’s thekind of thing where if I stop looking, she’ll arrive on my doorstep.”

Liam scoffed. “That’s not how it works, Alan, and you know it.”Alan quirked his head to the side. “Oh, I do?”It seemed especially rich to hear those words from Liam, whose true love had been accidentally

booked in the same suite as him on an Alaskan cruise only a few months ago.In fact, if Alan remembered the story correctly, she’d literally walked through the bedroom door

and surprised him. Far more intimate an entrance than Alan had proposed.Cassie’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “He has a point, babe.”Liam blinked at his girlfriend. “Yeah, well, that was a little different.”“How? You decide you’ve given up on ever getting married or having a family. One day, Cassie

waltzes into your life and everything changes. Bing-bang-boom!”Liam frowned. “It was a little more complicated than that.”Cassie grinned, apparently as amused by Liam’s response as she was by Alan’s initial suggestion.

“Well, Liam, most people don’t have the intense dislike for one another that we started with.”With a slightly wicked smile, Liam wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled his face in her

hair. “In some circles, they call that chemistry.”Cassie just giggled as she leaned into the embrace. “You’re impossible.”Alan stuffed his hands in his pockets, smiling at the couple’s banter despite the fact that their

display of affection and Liam’s plans for the day made Alan feel more alone than he’d been even justa few minutes earlier. “Look, I hate to cut and run, but Rochester’s been on his own, and he can getkind of mopey if I don’t celebrate holidays with him.”

Cassie’s physician eyes narrowed as she studied him, the levity dimming to a more appropriatelevel. “You sure you don’t want to stay for brunch? We made a frittata and some waffles, so we could

easily stretch—”Alan shook his head before Liam could object. “It’s fine. Like I said, Rochester’s waiting for

me.”Rochester and the classic TV station. Which, though he enjoyed classic comedy shows like The

Dick Van Dyke Show, Hogan’s Heroes, M.A.S.H., and so forth, was more so his apartment wouldn’tfeel quite so quiet.

Cassie caught Alan in a hug, and the action surprised him. “Hey, take care, okay? And I’ll cancelwhen I see Julie tomorrow.”

Alan managed a slim smile at her generous offer. “It’s fine. It’s not like another setup is going tokill me.”

Though the phone calls might if he wasn’t careful.Content that it was time to leave, he nodded in his friend’s direction. “Take care, man.”Liam grasped Alan's hand in a firm grip. “I’ll call you later, okay?”Alan just nodded, though he wouldn’t hold his breath. If the vibes Alan was getting about the

lovebirds were accurate, they’d have something pretty special to celebrate today.They wouldn’t have a spare thought for Alan until much later. Which was fine. Healthy, even.He jogged down the stairs and let the screen door to the older apartment building bang open, the

flowers still in hand. He should have given them to Cassie, but he hadn’t thought about that before thedoor had been closed on him.

He stood stupefied on the porch of the building as he considered how to dispose of the flowerswithout throwing them in the nearest trash can.

“Hold door open, please?” Only after he registered the heavily accented, feminine voice did hecatch a glimpse of the dark haired woman who peeked out behind two carefully packed paper grocerybags as she maneuvered her way to the front of the apartment from the parking lot.

“Yeah, sure.” He backed up to hold the door in place as the graceful woman, whose accentsounded Russian if he was right, easily navigated past him into the apartment building. “Good to seeyou again, Catarina.”

Her name slipped out of his mouth before he could think about it, and she stopped. Then, peered athim between the two paper grocery bags in her arms. “Do I know you?”

Alan immediately second-guessed his strategy as the flowers felt slippery in his sweaty palms.“No. Sorry. My friend and I were in the building a couple months ago, when his girlfriend firstmoved in, and he said hello when you greeted him. I guess I’m just good with names and faces.”

Except he wasn’t. It was a total lie. He’d had students in his psych classes at the Air ForceAcademy who’d been with him for almost six months, and he still struggled with their names.

He’d just been exceptionally impressed by her. Drawn in by the eyes, which on that occasion, hadseemed so sad and yet so resigned that he’d wanted to know her story.

She frowned, and Alan got the impression that recognizing her wasn't a good thing. She cockedher head to the side as if there was still some doubt in her mind as to who he was. “Liam's friend?”

Alan’s enthusiasm deflated even further. “Yes. Liam’s friend.”The woman shifted the bags in her arms. “Is there problem?”He shrugged, knowing it wasn’t the woman’s fault for identifying him the best she could. “It’s just

the story of my life. Always Liam’s friend. Never just Alan.”The woman’s dark eyes warmed in apology. “Perhaps we were not properly introduced. I would

have remembered meeting someone with kind eyes like yours.”Alan blinked. Liam was the one who got the compliments. Alan normally got the brush off.

Instead of saying something suave and sophisticated, however, he just coughed. “Remembersomeone with kind eyes like—what?”

When she didn't smile or repeat the compliment, Alan wanted to kick himself. He'd offended herby being so dubious of the kind words. “You know, you can just ignore me. It usually takes me aminute or two to process when someone says something nice about me. Of course, the psychologicalimplications of that are—”

He stopped himself as Catarina shifted her groceries in her arms a second time in as manyminutes. The fur-trimmed hood of her coat accentuating the movement. “Actually, we should probablyjust pretend I didn't essentially blurt out that I have no self-esteem and instead, I should offer to helpcarry your groceries to your apartment.”

It shocked Alan when Catarina's dark eyes sparkled with something approaching respect. “Youare sure it would be no trouble?”

Alan eagerly took the bags into his arms. “Uh, it’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m leaving my buddy’sgirlfriend’s apartment after being there for about ten minutes. Trust me, helping a pretty woman withher groceries isn’t any trouble.”

Maybe it was his imagination, but she almost seemed to wince at the word pretty. For a womanwho could easily pass for a supermodel, Alan wondered what she had against someone mentioningher looks.

The keys jangled her hand as she gestured up the stairs. “My apartment is 2G. Not far, but not tooclose either.”

Alan gave her a strong smile, the grocery bags secure in his embrace. “I’m good.”Confusion clouded her expression, making her turn just as her hand touched the railing. “I already

said thank you. Am I not being appreciative enough for your kindness?”If he didn't know better, he would have guessed that even the implication of quid pro quo was

enough to make Catarina uncomfortable. He wondered if she would try to take the groceries from himagain.

But what could have made her think he wanted favors in return for bringing her groceries into herapartment?

It was several seconds before he caught the linguistic error. “Oh, I'm good... You thought I meantthat I'm moral, well-behaved.”

She nodded. “Is what good means, yes?”He shook his head. “No.”Her eyes widened. “No?”“Well, actually, yes. It does.” Alan’s forehead started to itch as Catarina waited for him at the top

of the steps. “But in this context, it means that I can handle carrying this. You don’t need to worryabout me.”

Consternation reigned in her Slavic features. “English is difficult language to understand.”Alan laughed. “You're not half-kidding.”In an attempt to apologize for the awkwardness of the earlier moment, he leaned his whole body

forward so he could hand her the flowers currently pressed against her grocery bags. “Here. Mymother always taught me not to attend a party empty handed, but since I never actually had brunchwith my friends... Well, they deserve to be appreciated by someone other than Rochester and me.”

There was a slight hesitation before she took and inspected the bouquet with a bright collection ofpink, yellow, and orange flowers. “They are lovely, but I cannot accept.”

He gave her a crooked grin as he met her at the top of the stairs. “Trust me, you’re doing me a

favor.”Her look was mistrustful before she pressed forward again, her stiletto boots peeking out from her

dark wash jeans as she walked ahead of him.Alan couldn’t help but marvel at her masterful use of heels. Most women he knew, though that

wasn’t all that many, avoided wearing heels in the winter. Certainly not when there was two inches ofsnow and ice on the ground.

But as a man who loved all things Hollywood? Well, there were worse things than a woman whowore heels in the snow. Especially when she navigated the terrain with supernatural grace andelegance.

Catarina unlocked the door to her apartment and gestured to the table. “You can put bags there.”Alan followed her instructions, looking around her apartment as he pulled away. The kitchen was

tidy, and though the cabinetry and appliances were on the older side, she'd chosen brightly coloredlinens that seemed to camouflage the issue. “You have a beautiful home.”

A tiny blush blossomed on the apples of her cheeks as Catarina removed her coat and hung it on ahook just inside the door. “Thank you.”

It was all Alan could do not to stare as her dark hair fell around her shoulders in a gentle curl andher slender figure emerged, highlighted by a cream colored sweater.

A modest gold watch on her wrist. Coordinated earrings dangling from her ears.She must have caught his stare as she righted her sleeves because her back became ramrod

straight. “Is something wrong?”Alan shook his head, apologetic that she'd misunderstood but not that he'd been caught staring.

“Uh, nothing. You're just—” The tips of his ears grew hot. “You're exceptionally beautiful.”Her lips turned down in disapproval for a split second. “Thank you.”Alan studied her with a strange thrill running up his spine at the psychological challenge she

presented. “You don't like it when people tell you that, do you?”She reached into the cabinet beside the sink and retrieved a clear vase which she filled with

water. “There are better things to be than beautiful.”The way she said beautiful almost made it sound like the way someone might say the word naïve.

Like attractiveness somehow increased the chances of getting hurt.Interesting.Alan glanced at the closed door, wondering if he should just make an excuse and go or if he could

get away with talking to her a little longer. It wasn't like Rochester was going to complain if he camehome late.

Well, not much anyway.“What part of Russia are you from?”Catarina's voice floated to him from the kitchen. “I am not from Russia. I am from Ukraine. Kiev.”A beat as Catarina paused in setting up the flowers on the counter. Her eyes took on a faraway

look, like she'd traveled the thousands of miles back to her homeland in an instant. “I feel likemotherless child some days when I think of home.”

Alan walked past a tiny tree in a pot by the door to the wooden bookshelves flanking thefireplace, their natural color rich and warm against the white walls. Stacks of books, many of whichwere written in the Cyrillic alphabet, were punctuated by small trinkets.

But no photos. No pictures of family. Or memories from vacations.Just a bookshelf that looked like it had been styled by one of those interior decorators who staged

houses to sell. No wonder the woman seemed sad.

“Have you ever considered going back? Even just for a visit?”Alan picked up one of the figurines, a glass statue of a ballerina in mid-performance.Though it didn’t have the unique and old-fashioned charm of a family heirloom, it looked a little

out of place compared with the textured orbs in a basket on the shelf or the landscape over thefireplace. Like even though she’d gotten it from Target or some small boutique, it was the only realstamp of herself in the apartment.

Before he could say a word, Catarina picked the dancer out of his hand and placed it back on theshelf. She even took a second to arrange her just right. Another hint that this tchotchke was morepersonal than the others. “A trip back to where I am from is out of question. Now, if you excuse me,my interior decorator is coming for appointment, and I must prepare.”

She gestured to the door, and Alan got the hint. “Interior decorator, huh? I would have thoughtfrom the look of this place that you wouldn't need one of those anymore.”

Catarina opened the front door for him as if she was nervous he wouldn't get the hint. “She iscoming to help with bedroom.”

The ease with which she lied intrigued him, but Alan didn't call her on the untruth. Hisprofessional instincts seemed to promise that there was a reason for her keeping her guard up. “Right.One room at a time. Makes sense.”

Catarina nodded. “Precisely.”Alan took two steps out the door before he turned back to her, an idea forming in his mind.

“Catarina?”She raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”“If I were to, say, find a Ukrainian restaurant either here or in Denver, would you come check it

out with me?”Her expression was analytical, those warm brown eyes becoming sharp and focused. “Because

you want to learn about Ukraine?”Alan had to remind himself to breathe. Very rarely did he get this far in asking a woman to dinner.

“Actually, no.”Catarina crossed her arms.A defensive move. Not good.“Not that I don't want to learn, but that's not the reason I'd ask you.” Alan was pretty sure his heart

was pounding at an unnatural rhythm as he tried to explain. “I just wanted to get to know you better.”Disgust played on her features as she moved to close the door. “Because I am beautiful woman?”Alan put out a have to stop the door from slamming in his face. He’d approach her apparent

disdain for her own beauty at another time. “Because I think you could use a friend.”Surprise didn't supercede the suspicion in her face, but it did temper it somewhat. “A friend?”Alan shuffled his feet. “Yeah. From what I can tell, you don't get out much. That's okay. Neither

do I. But if Liam and Cassie are going to get married, and they're your only friends...”The blood drained from Catarina’s face as she blinked at him in surprise. “Liam is getting

married?”Heat crept up Alan's neck. “Come to think of it, I don’t think I was supposed to tell anyone that.

Maybe don’t tell Liam you know?”The young woman looked almost dazed as she nodded and tried to return to some sense of

normalcy.“Maybe you should sit down.” Alan tried to guide her to one of the nearby dining room chairs to

help alleviate whatever had made her go so pale.

Catarina shook off his ministrations, collecting her composure a little. “Thank you again, Alan, forcoming.”

Alan wished he could do something to relieve the resignation and sadness in her eyes. But topress his luck would just end things prematurely. “Right. Well, my dog is probably wondering whereI am, so I should go.”

Catarina managed a thin smile as she walked him to the door. “Thank you for your help with thegroceries.”

Alan lingered by the door. “About that Ukrainian restaurant?”There was a long moment before Catarina shook her head. “I am sorry, Alan, but now is not right

time.”“Because of your feelings for Liam?”Any sense of apology disappeared as Catarina’s fingers squeezed the doorknob. Still, she was

polite. “It was pleasure to meet you, Alan.”Alan sighed as he stepped out of the doorway. “See you around.”He’d hardly finished his words before the door closed in his face. He closed his eyes as the

encounter immediately started replaying in his mind with the commentary that seemed to point outeverything he should have done differently.

He’d been a fool to think things would end differently with the Ukrainian supermodel than theydid with the average American women he met. Before he’d even gotten out of the apartment building,however, his phone buzzed again. Another out-of-state phone number. He groaned. What aValentine’s Day.

C

Chapter Two

Catarinaatarina Petrovka—though the name still felt foreign after six months—frowned at the guest inher living room. “Are these appointments necessary? I have given no reason for you to believe

I would break your rules. I will not contact anyone from my old life.”Agent Bethany Smith, whose blonde hair framed her face in a no-nonsense short cut, smiled like

she’d expected the question as she finished up what Catarina hoped would be the last of the digitalpaperwork. “We check in like this for a variety of reasons, Ms. Petrovka. Only one is to verify thatyou’re keeping up your end of the bargain.”

Catarina rolled her eyes. Bargain. Some bargain. Forced to flee one’s home and abandon one’sheritage and family under cover of darkness to stay alive.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she tried to forget the circumstances which had broughther to the United States and before this woman in a horrible gray suit. The woman charged withmonitoring everything from Catarina’s job to her phone calls and her bank account so that Catarinaand her brother stayed safe.

Agent Smith set the secure tablet in her bag and stood before handing Catarina one of her businesscards. “Well, Ms. Petrovka, I don’t see any red flags at the moment. As always, reach out to me if younotice anything suspicious.”

Catarina tapped the card against the palm of her hand. “By suspicious, do you mean someonetrying to kill me?”

Agent Smith didn’t try to soothe Catarina’s feelings. Just nodded. “That would qualify assuspicious, wouldn't it?”

Catarina had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes a second time in less than five minutes.Instead, she adopted the stern expression most Americans seemed to associate with people from herpart of the world. “Is hard to believe I do not feel perfectly safe.”

The agent stiffened at the words Catarina had murmured under her breath. “Ms. Petrovka, do Ihave to remind you why you and your brother were brought from Moscow to the United States?”

Catarina couldn’t let the moment go. She schooled her features into innocence. “We are nottourists? I am outraged. I thought I had visa free and clear.”

Agent Smith’s frown deepened. “This isn’t a joke, Ms. Petrovka. This is a very serious situation.”Catarina crossed her arms and stared the woman down. “Is very insulting you believe you must

remind me why I am here.”She would save the native curse words running through her mind for when the woman was finally

out of her presence. When she would release them in a long, steady stream. For now, she didn’t dareinflame the situation any more than she already had.

Agent Smith studied Catarina, almost measuring her resolve. It seemed that whatever the metric orthe outcome, the agent didn’t seem to think it was a good idea to continue antagonizing her. “Fine. I’llgo. I’ll call you when we’re ready for next month’s check-in.”

Catarina didn’t waste a moment opening the door.“I’ll bring some more fabric samples next time. Hopefully, we’ll find something you like for the

drapes.”With a heavy sigh, Catarina fell against the door as it closed on the government agent. Then, her

eye caught sight of the bouquet of flowers that brightened her small round dining table.For a brief, shining moment, she remembered the man who had given them to her. The round,

cheerful Alan who had been embarrassed to have an extra bouquet in hand. Who had been kindenough to bring her groceries up to the apartment. Who had seen her loneliness and offered herflowers on Valentine’s Day without asking any questions.

She would never be able to tell him just how much the gesture had meant. Not with her family sofar away.

Thoughts of her family brought her mind back to why she was here. To the reason she and Alanhad a mutual friend in the first place. To the wedding Liam was planning with another woman.

Shame at her unbearable foolishness washed over her again. As her fingers trembled with theemotion, she took the cue to fill her tea kettle, needing the familiar scent of chai—or what Americanswould have generically called tea—to help relax her nerves and ease the ache that grew in her chest.

She set the bag in her cup and poured the hot water over it, letting the steam fill her nostrils as sheallowed the scent to unravel her conflicted thoughts.

It wasn’t that she was unhappy for Liam. The few times she had met his girlfriend in the corridor,she’d seemed kind and sweet. It was just that Catarina had let her hopes get tangled up in the idea ofhim. She’d romanticized the idea of the Air Force officer she’d known for an intense two weeks fiveyears earlier, and now she was reaping the consequences.

Why she’d needed to romanticize the notion of being rescued by a dashing young pilot, however,was the real reason she felt so foolish.

An image of Pyotr Vasiliev appeared in her mind. The way he’d looked backstage at her balletschool’s production of Romeo and Juliet. How he had commanded the attention of everyone in theroom, especially her, before he whispered to the man at his side with a glance in her direction.

She shuddered at the memory. Thanks to that moment, she was here. In the United States.Forbidden to call her mother. Unable even to call her brother, who had been rescued alongside her.

Itching to do something other than think, she set the teacup on the counter and reached for a ragunder the kitchen sink. Perhaps she’d come by it honestly, but any time Catarina felt anxious or hurt,she started with a cup of chai. Then, if the feeling didn’t go away, she got to work.

Even in her late twenties and a world away from her family, Catarina still found herself stronglymotivated to keep her home well-maintained like her mother before her. Even the scent of the dusthere in America reminded her of the brown-haired woman with the heart-shaped face that lit up everytime Catarina and her brother had come into view.

She ran her fingers down the spines of her books. The ones in her mother tongue. She ached forhome. Longed for her mother’s assurance that everything would end the way it meant to.

She flicked a tear away as she turned her attention to the ballerina on the shelf. Alan had beenfascinated by it for some reason, and the look in his eye as he studied it frightened her. Like bystudying the object, he had stumbled onto her most precious secret.

The part of herself she’d been unable to hide with a gentle perm, darker hair dye, or a pair ofcolored contact lenses.

That she ached to dance. Craved the sound of the live orchestra as it tuned before a performance.Longed to caress the ornate architecture of the old theater.

Thirsted for the applause. Even found herself coveting the politics and drama of production witheach ballerina vying for the lead role.

She set the dust rag aside and plucked the dancer off its place on the shelf. Strange that someonewho knew nothing about her could see that this was her most personal possession. Having been

snatched in the middle of the night, she had no chance to gather any belongings. She was fortunate thatone the night she’d been snatched by Liam and his team, she’d been wearing the pearls hergrandmother had bequeathed to her or she would be without even the smallest memento of her familyheritage.

She caressed the dancer’s crystalline slender, graceful figure. She’d seen the item on a shelf in astore, and she’d been drawn to it. Her handler had been displeased with the purchase, Agent Smith’sscowl expressing the sentiment without words. Catarina had strayed far closer to her old life than thewoman was comfortable.

But even as she reminded herself that it would be far wiser to keep the figurine in her bedroomwhere no one could see the hint at her former life, Catarina had been unable to lock it away. Not likeshe’d locked herself away.

Catarina set the dancer back on the shelf and eyed the coffee table with a hidden storagecompartment. Her handler wouldn’t likely be pleased with the music she’d stashed in there, either.Less pleased, still, if she ever learned what Catarina did with it in the middle of the night when hermind couldn’t bring herself to rest in this new home.

Catarina reached for the rag again and returned to her task. Perhaps tonight she would awakenagain. Give herself a few moments in the still, early hours of the morning to dance once more.Remember who she was without the weight of all her pretense.

The person she suspected Alan seemed to glimpse in the corner of her new life. The person heseemed to want to get to know.

She brushed away such thoughts. She would be kind, but it was impossible. For too many reasonsto list.

Her heart heavy as she walked away, she looked back at the dancer for one brief moment.“Someday... Someday, I will be free again to be me.”

THE SUDDEN KNOCK AT the door pulled Catarina from her thoughts. Unfortunately, it did not endher suffering. Instead, her heart beat more quickly in her chest as she approached the door withtrepidation. She steadied herself against the door as she peered through the peephole.

Her mind whizzed through the potential threats who might be on the other side. Pyotr. The manwho had asked her to meet Pyotr after her performance for a drink. The men who had workedalongside her brother before he had contacted the Americans and asked to give them information inexchange for his safety. His... And hers.

The woman on the other side of the door, however, threatened Catarina’s peace in a different waythan Pyotr and his minions.

Catarina steeled herself for the meeting for the second or two before she opened the door.“Hello?”

The woman with the red highlights in her blonde hair just smiled. “Hi. I’m Dr. Cassie Lambert.I’m across the hall.”

She pointed over her shoulder at the apartment a few doors further down the corridor.Catarina followed her gaze before she nodded and looked back at the doctor. “Yes, I have seen

you around.”She shoved down the memory which had come immediately. Of Liam and his girlfriend walking

out of the apartment, arm in arm, behind the leasing agent. Brilliant smiles as the three shared laughs.Catarina anchored herself in the present moment with the woman. “I am Catarina Petrovka.”

The doctor’s cheeks pinked as she nodded. “I’ve seen you around myself. I’m sorry I haven’tgotten a chance to come and meet you yet. It’s just that things have been crazy at the hospital, andevery time I finally thought I’d get a chance to meet the neighbors, something always seems to comeup.”

Probably Liam, who knew more about Catarina’s precarious situation than most of her neighborsever would. Or should, for that matter. “Was there reason you came?”

The neighbor caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she raised a brightly colored measuringcup. “Any chance I could borrow a cup of flour? I thought I had enough for the breadsticks I wasmaking, but I was one cup short.”

Catarina opened the door more widely, though it was somewhat against her better judgment to letLiam’s girlfriend, likely his fiancée by now, into her apartment.

She walked into her kitchen and pulled down the bag of flour she hadn’t yet opened. She offeredthe unopened sack to the doctor. “Here. Take it. I’ll get more at store tomorrow.”

The other woman’s blue-green eyes widened. “Thank you. And don’t bother about getting anotherat the store. I’ll replace this tomorrow. Later tonight if I can manage.”

Catarina shook her head, not sure that Agent Smith would approve of taking anything from theother woman, no matter what good intentions may have lurked behind the gesture. Maybe it soundedparanoid, but Catarina didn’t want to get in the habit of taking things from strangers. “Is no trouble. Iwill replace it myself.”

Liam’s girlfriend looked somewhat pained. “Can I at least pay you for the flour? I can run back tomy apartment and get some cash.”

This was turning into a disaster. How could Catarina explain that she was more than a littleparanoid about purchasing packaged food in case Pyotr and his associates had already found her? “Ifyou wish, but as I said, it is no trouble. We are neighbors. Perhaps one day I will need something onlyyou can give.”

She won a light hug from the enthusiastic young woman. A hug which had taken her by surprise.“Oh, thank you.”

She leaned in like she was sharing a secret. “Truth is, I wasn’t even planning on baking bread, butmy boyfriend asked me to marry him recently, and I’m afraid that if I slow down for even just aminute or two, he’ll ask me why I haven’t given him an answer yet.”

Catarina’s heart leapt without warning. Liam wasn’t engaged after all?Catarina scolded herself for the tiny flame of hope that appeared at the statement. There was no

reason for her to assume that this was the beginning of some happily ever after. Instead, she raised aneyebrow. “You do not wish to marry him?”

The woman frowned as she pressed the flour to her chest. “Oh, it’s not that. He’s wonderful. It’sjust that there’s so much going on with my family right now. I thought he understood that I wanted totake a little time to get that sorted out before I started planning a wedding, but it doesn’t seem likehe’s listening when I try to say the words.”

That surge of hope that lifted Catarina’s spirits deflated with the doctor’s explanation. “I supposethat makes sense.”

The doctor looked at her hands as if she was afraid of asking the question on her mind. “You thinkI’m awful for making him wait for an answer, don’t you? Like if I really loved him, I’d say yes andpretend nothing was wrong?”

“No.”Catarina surprised even herself with the strength of her conviction.

“No?”Catarina felt the impulse to invite the other woman to sit for a moment. To talk. That unsettled her.

Instead of giving into the impulse, however, Catarina shifted. “Is normal to feel nervous about sayingsomething that would hurt your partner, even if it is how you really feel. Is not normal to feel you arenot allowed. Pretending nothing is wrong when it is would be a disservice to yourself and to—”

Catarina swallowed before she continued. “To you and to man you claim to love.”The other woman nodded as if in silent agreement. “Intellectually, I think I know that, but I still

have this fear that he’ll break up with me, and I really do love him. It would crush me if the timing ofthis proposal was the thing that broke us up. Especially since I really do want to marry him. Just, youknow, not right now.”

The knowledge that she liked and even respected Liam’s girlfriend was a hard pill to swallow,even if she was more able to relate to the other woman than she wanted to admit. “It can be hard totake care of your family and your own heart. You are not awful person for having the same trouble asthe rest of us.”

Crushed in a hug by the doctor, Catarina was surprised at the ferocity of the other woman’semotion. “Thank you. Even my sister doesn’t seem to understand... Which is a little ironic if you knowanything about her. I mean, the woman broke up with her high school boyfriend because he wanted tomarry her after our parents died, and twenty years later, they—”

Cassie rolled her eyes. “Sorry. You don’t want to know their story. You probably don’t evenwant to know mine.”

Catarina patted the woman’s shoulder, more than a little uncomfortable with the instant bond thatseemed to have been developed between the women who, for all intents and purposes, had beenstrangers until just a few moments earlier. Still...

Catarina grimaced, but she didn’t think she could let the woman walk out of her apartment withthat as the last words they exchanged. “Perhaps if you explain your hesitation, he will understand.”

Where once the other woman had looked lost and confused, Cassie brightened. “That’s a goodidea. If there’s anything we learned when we first met, it’s how to swallow our pride and have aproductive conversation. It might take some time before we’re really able to get to that point, but I’ma patient woman.”

Cassie touched Catarina’s arm in gratitude. “Thanks for listening.”Catarina didn’t know how to respond. On the one hand, this had been an uncomfortable

conversation for the Ukrainian. On the other, this display of emotion had felt inappropriate given howlittle the women actually knew one another.

Before she could answer, however, the other woman reached for the doorknob. “Thanks again forthe flour. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to repay the favor.”

Catarina hardly managed to say goodbye before the woman closed the door behind her. Thesilence felt abrupt and sudden as Catarina found herself alone again.

Somehow, even after the awkwardness of the initial conversation, Catarina felt more alone nowthan she had just a few moments earlier. Like she’d just said goodbye to a friend. But that feltimpossible.

Unless, of course, her feelings for Liam hadn’t been as strong as she’d once believed.She glanced back at the flowers on the table and considered the man who had given them to her.

Or, perhaps, her heart had begun to heal with the kindness of a new friend...

“D

Chapter Three

Alanon’t forget to study for your test on Friday. There’s a good chance it will cover all of the

abnormal psychological conditions we’ve studied so far this semester.”Alan had been about to give a few more details, but it was clear from the way the students packed

their bags and visited with each other that they weren’t listening any more. It would be lessaggravating to just let them walk out the door instead of trying to chase them with information thatwould likely assist them in their studying. Anyone who was really going to do anything with theinformation would either stay after class to speak with him, email him, or stop by his office duringoffice hours anyway.

He started packing his laptop and notes into the brown canvas messenger bag he brought with himto class everyday. When he’d started as a civilian professor at the Academy six years ago, it had beena little strange to see all of his students in matching uniforms. Now, however, he was almost used toit.

What he wasn’t used to seeing was the lieutenant colonel standing outside his classroom, lookingeven more stiff and formal than he usually did at work.

Alan turned to the half-dozen students who were vying for his attention. “Sorry, guys. Send me anemail or come see me during office hours, okay?”

The students fanned out as Alan slung his bag over one shoulder and smiled at his friend. “Liam.What brings you to my neck of the woods? You usually like to stay closer to the air fields.”

Liam squinted as sunlight filtered through the large glass windows in the corridor. “I waswondering if you wanted to play basketball tonight.”

Alan raised an eyebrow. It had been months since they hadn’t planned their basketball nights inadvance. Liam usually spent any evenings that Cassie was free from the hospital with her. “Uh, yeah,sure. We can grab some food afterward if you want to talk.”

Liam just nodded, his back ramrod straight as they walked through the hallway to Alan’s office.That wasn’t the look of a man whose proposal had gone well. Instead, it looked like a man who wasrelying on an external sense of structure to protect himself from hurt.

Alan waited until they were mostly free of the students in the corridor before he broached thequestion that would confirm his supposition. “How’d your Valentine’s day proposal go?”

Liam didn’t give himself permission to drop his stony expression. “She said she needs to thinkabout it.”

Alan winced. “Not the answer you were looking for, huh?”Laim looked at Alan as if to say he didn’t appreciate the way the psychologist was needling him

for more information. Then, he looked forward. Like a cadet who had just been reprimanded. “It wasa gamble. Looks like I might have gotten ahead of myself.”

Alan leaned in a little closer to his friend, hoping to lend support without inadvertently making ascene. “It’s natural that you would be hurt and confused, Liam. Don’t cheat yourself out of that—”

Liam glared at Alan, and the conversation ended right there.Alan grimaced. He should have known better than to bring up the touchy feely stuff at the

Academy. After all, this was where Liam felt he had to project strength, not just as an officer but alsoas an instructor.

Alan just clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Look, I’m sorry, but she didn’t say no. Maybe shereally just does need a few days to think.”

“She’s already had four days. I wouldn’t have asked her if I wasn’t almost positive what she wasgoing to say...” There was a crack in Liam’s shell as his voice hitched. “How much longer do youthink she’s going to need?”

For all the complicated feelings Alan felt about the couple right now, his heart went out to hisfriend. Just because he now had more female attention than he knew what to do with was no reason towithhold the support Liam had come to expect from him.

Alan sighed. “I’m not sure even Cassie can answer that question. It’s a big decision, and eventhough it hurts now, I think you’re both going to be better off for her caution.”

“Better off, huh?” Liam tried not to scoff.Alan patted his friend’s shoulder. “Better off because you’ll know she thought about it. Better off

because she knows you were patient with her while she tried to find the right answer for her.”As they got to the corner that either led to the airfield or to the stretch of offices for the social

science department, the two men stopped.Instead of reacting to what Alan said, Liam squinted into the sunlight and lifted a pair of shades

onto the bridge of his nose. “I’ll be at the gym for basketball at eighteen hundred hours. Don’t belate.”

Alan nodded. “I’ll be waiting.”He only got a slight nod in response before Liam strode out to the air fields.Hopefully, Liam would be more comfortable opening up about what had actually happened during

the proposal when they got to the gym.

ALAN CHECKED HIS WATCH again. He’d worked at the Academy for enough years that he’d beenable to figure out what eighteen hundred hours meant. Six in the evening.

Only now, it was after seven. A few minutes early or late, and Alan could forgive the mix up orlet the infraction go. But a whole hour? That seemed uncharacteristic of the detail-oriented lieutenantcolonel he was supposed to meet with.

Alan sighed as he shifted in his seat at the gym entrance. Apparently, he’d been stood up. Not forthe first time in the last week. Which meant it all stung a little worse than it probably should have.

He checked his phone. No new messages. Not even from one of his new admirers.So, either Liam had completely forgotten, gotten sidetracked in an argument with Cassie, or he’d

been in some kind of accident. None of which Alan could do much about.Alan pressed the phone to his ear as he tried a third call to Liam’s cell phone, just as a hand

squeezed his shoulder. Relief flooded his limbs as he pulled the phone from his ear and turned to facethe figure behind him. “Well, it’s about time. You had me worried sick—”

He blinked at the dark-haired Catarina in form-fitting leggings and a sports bra that showed offher midriff. A yoga mat was slung over one shoulder. “You’re not Liam Harris.”

Her dark eyes seemed somewhat amused at the comparison. “What gave it away? The accent?The outfit?”

Alan brought the phone back to his ear just as Liam’s voicemail sounded for a third time. Insteadof leaving another message, however, he just clicked the end call button. “No. Sorry. I just—Liamand I were going to play basketball. I thought he said he would be here at six, but it’s several minutesafter seven, and—”

Understanding dawned in her expression, and the playfulness of her answer fell away. “He hasnot yet arrived?”

Alan sighed as he nodded. “Yep.”There was a long moment before she spoke again. “Perhaps there has been a miscommunication

with his fiancée.”Alan winced, remembering that she knew about the engagement because of what he’d told her.

“Uh, friendly piece of advice, maybe don’t mention that next time you see Liam. Apparently, it’s asore subject.”

Catarina didn’t seem surprised. “It did not seem his proposal was received with as muchenthusiasm as he must have expected.”

Alan looked at her, confused. “Wait... How did you know that?”“Liam’s girlfriend told me that she had not yet given him an answer.” Catarina shifted and tugged

the yoga mat up a little further over her shoulder as it started to slip. “Perhaps she has made herdecision.”

“Perhaps.” Alan wanted to kick himself that he was standing here, in front of one of the mostbeautiful women he’d ever met, and all he could manage to do was gossip about a different couple’srelationship problems. He gestured to his shoulder, where Catarina had caught his attention. “Uh, youwanted to talk?”

“I merely wished to say hello.” Her eyes brightened under the fluorescent lighting. “To prove I amcapable under the right circumstances of remembering you are something other than simply Liam’sfriend.”

The back of Alan’s neck grew hot as he remembered that she had been the recipient of his minortirade a few days earlier. Maybe it had been a reaction to being asked to leave Sunday brunch. Maybeit had been a resentment that had stuck in his side longer than he ever admitted to. Either way,Catarina was kind to go out of her way to help ease his insecurity. “Right. Yeah, uh, thanks.”

She grinned as she crossed her arms and highlighted her slender figure.He gestured toward her. “What brings you to the gym at this time of night?”The smile on her face faltered a little. “This is where I work. I am yoga instructor. If all works

out, I may be teaching children’s ballet this fall.”Alan’s eyebrows shot up. “Ballet. Uh, right. I should have guessed you were a ballerina.”She raised an eyebrow. “Because I am from Ukraine?”Alan’s brow drew together in confusion. “Of course not. It’s just that you’re slender, graceful.

And you have that ballet figurine in your apartment.”Catarina’s dark eyes reflected the overhead lighting in a way that put Alan on notice. “Yes. The

figurine.”There was deep pain behind her expression. Not to mention a healthy dose of self-loathing if

Alan’s instincts could be relied upon. He put a hand in the pocket of his basketball shorts, havingchanged in the hopes that Liam had just been running late, or perhaps that Liam had gotten stuck in thelocker room. Obviously, that had been wishful thinking. “Ah, yes. The figurine. It bothers you that Itouched it, doesn’t it?”

She crossed her arms. Another defensive move. “Is only paperweight.”“You wouldn’t have such strong feelings about it if that were true.” The observation fell from his

lips without thought, and Catarina looked toward the locker room as if she wanted an escape.He waved toward the door. “Hey, if you need to go, I understand. I’ll call Cassie to see if she’s

seen Liam, but if I don’t reach anyone, I’ll just head home.”

He’d expected her to be relieved. To say her goodbyes and walk away.Instead, she lingered. Not the kind of action he would have expected from someone who was

defensive.He glanced toward the door to see if Liam was coming. When he was yet again disappointed by

his friend, he turned to Catarina. “You know, I’m a good listener.”The dark-haired beauty frowned at him. “Good listener?”He didn’t really apologize for his observation, though he probably should have. Just shrugged.

“You just seemed like you needed to talk.”“How?”He pursed his lips to the side. “A lot of little things. The fact that you were looking for an exit but

you never actually left. The fact that you had strong feelings about me mentioning your ballet figurinebut you didn’t immediately tell me to either stop asking about something so personal or explain yourfascination with it. I’m a professional listener, and I’m pretty good at my job if you want to let me in.”

She looked behind her as if she was concerned about someone overhearing. Then, with her armsstill crossed like she was trying to protect herself for some reason, she turned back to him. “Isimpossible. I do not talk to strangers.”

“Well, we’re not strangers. You know me as something other than just Liam’s friend.” He smiledeasily, hoping it would be enough to gently encourage her to open up.

He didn’t want to press, but neither did he want this moment to end. Not when thoughts of thiswoman had lingered anytime he even thought about the women Cassie had sent his direction. Therewas something about this woman that was different from the other women who were more open aboutwhat they wanted.

Maybe it was what relationship experts might have termed the thrill of the chase or maybe he’dseen too many blatant contradictions in the women’s behavior, but Catarina was approachable whereso many of the other women had turned Alan’s interest off with their manipulative and controllingactions.

Catarina quirked her head to the side, like she wanted to accept his premise that they werealready more than strangers.

Alan took a breath and forced himself to relax a little. One of his habits from his professionalwork. It was always easier to get someone to talk to you when it seemed casual. “Look, when I’m notteaching, I have patients who come in and talk about all sorts of things. Obviously, I wouldn’t be yourdoctor. Just a friendly ear. Shoulder to cry on, so to speak.”

She stiffened, like the mention of tears made her uncomfortable. “I will not cry. On your shoulderor elsewhere.”

Then, apparently afraid that she hadn’t made her point abundantly clear, she added, “At least, notin public.”

Alan reached out and caught her wrist to soothe her. “I didn’t mean I expected you to fall topieces or anything. It’s just an expression, Catarina. It means you can tell me what’s bothering you,and I’ll be there for you. Listen to you.”

There was a slight dusting of pink over her high cheekbones. “Then, say that.”Instead of being offended by the way Catarina responded, Alan just offered her a gentle smile.

“Okay. Catarina, in the interest of being clearer... Would you like to keep talking about this overdinner? I know a great little burger place around the corner, and I could eat a horse.”

She raised another eyebrow, and he raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Again, just anexpression. It just means I’m very hungry.”

Catarina switched her yoga mat and strap from one shoulder to the other.Alan could see the war in her expression, and he took a shot at reading what it said to let her off

the hook from trying to be polite. Even if his heart sank into his stomach at the thought. “I pushed myluck, didn’t I? Should have started with coffee, maybe.”

Catarina glanced toward the locker room a second time. A sign that she didn’t want to be here anylonger.

Before she could confirm his suspicions, however, Alan spoke again. “You don’t have to answerthat. I can read the writing on the wall like anyone else. Just tell me one thing?”

Her brow furrowed, and he wasn't sure if he'd said something she didn't understand, if he'd cometo the wrong conclusion, or if his yet unasked question made her nervous. For that matter, he didn'tknow which one he would have rooted for, given the chance.

After taking a deep breath to try to reduce his rapid heart rate, Alan looked back at her. “Wheredid I go wrong? I mean, I get that I'm not the kind of guy girls normally want to grab dinner with, butwhat is it about me that is so objectionable? You might think a free meal would at least get my foot inthe door...”

She looked at the locker room door a third time as she fidgeted with the strap on her shoulder.“Are you finished?”

Alan sighed as his emotional outburst ebbed. In some ways, it had been a long time in coming, butonce again, Catarina had been an unsuspecting victim. “Yeah. I should go. My dog's going to worry.”

Catarina quirked her head to one side, apparently surprised by his response. “You are not able tohave dinner, then?”

Alan's heart lurched as he looked up from getting his keys. “Wait, what?”“Is fine if you must go.” She seemed as flustered by this question as he’d been by hers.“So, that tirade worked? I say that women never want to go out with me, and I earn a pity date?”Catarina's nose crinkled. “Oh... No.”Alan wasn’t sure he could quite follow what had happened. “Then what changed?”Amusement danced in Catarina's eyes before she answered. “You did not give me chance to say

yes before you asked me why I was not interested.”Alan blinked. Then laughed. “That is what happened, isn’t it?”Catarina gestured over her shoulder at the locker room. “I can be ready in ten minutes, if you think

your dog will be fine longer?”They walked side by side toward the locker rooms just a few feet away. “He'll be fine. Honestly,

I got him so I could meet more women when I take him on walks and things, but he's pretty handy forgetting out of awkward situations, too.”

Catarina hesitated before she entered the tiled room that likely mirrored the men's locker roombeside it.

Alan stopped beside her, a nagging sense that he owed her an apology playing in the back of hismind. As he sometimes did when he was agitated, he tapped a fist to the palm of his hand severaltimes to release his nervous energy. “I’m sorry about earlier. I may be a therapist, but sometimes I letmy insecurities limit my future opportunities.”

She rested a gentle hand on his, effectively ending the rhythmic motion. But instead of feelingsilenced, Alan’s heart thumped in his chest at her touch. The gentleness in Catarina’s expressioncalmed him in an instant. “I will see you in ten minutes?”

“Ten minutes,” he repeated, almost unable to believe his luck. “Ten minutes is good.”

CATARINA WAS ALREADY waiting for him when he emerged from the locker room, one hand inher jeans pocket as she perched delicately on the stiletto heels of her boots.

He stole another look at her, still wondering when he was going to wake up from this dream. Hehad no doubt she could be a supermodel with her tall, thin frame. And she was going out with him.

This couldn’t possibly be real. Not without a set up. Not without one of those practical jokecamera crews.

She looked in his direction and her brow furrowed when she caught him staring at her. Hegrimaced. That probably hadn’t been the best way to start things off.

Not that they’d go far. He was pretty sure she’d realize she was way out of his league any minutenow, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t willing to pretend for a little bit.

He waved and offered her a chagrined smile as he walked over to her. “Sorry. When I walked outof the locker room, I realized again how beautiful you are.”

She looked almost like she had to force herself to appreciate the compliment, shifting under theweight of it. “Thank you.”

Once again, he’d mentioned her beauty, and it created a tiny wedge between social expectationand her true feelings. “I’m sorry. I forgot you don’t like it when people comment on yourappearance.”

Her expression grew pensive and troubled as she pulled her purse tighter over her shoulder. “Noteveryone who gives such compliments gives them freely.”

Another hint that she had a dark past. If he was her therapist, this was about the time he wouldhave pressed for more information. Somehow, he sensed that would be the wrong move afteraccidentally offending her with the prospect of being a shoulder to cry on. “That’s true, but I’m notone of those guys.”

Her mind back with him, they locked eyes. “We shall see.”There was a promise in those words. Like they were going to spend enough time together for her

to decide if he was anything like the ex that had her so upside down and backward emotionally.He extended the crook of his arm as if he were a gentleman from some bygone era who could only

link arms with a woman if they were in public. “Shall we?”She stared at his extended arm. “Shall we what?”He took her arm and threaded it through his as he clarified. “Shall we go?”There was a smidgeon of doubt in the corner of her sensual eyes before she banished it. She put a

hand on his arm and patted it twice. “Lead the way.”

THEY’D ALREADY BEEN walking a few minutes when the silence got the better of him, and hesaid the first thing that came to mind. “I should pinch myself.”

Catarina’s grip on his arm grew tighter as she turned a sidelong glance in his direction. “Thatwould be painful.”

Alan smiled as he explained. “Oh, I wouldn’t actually do it. It’s an idiom that suggests I’m afraidthis is all just a dream.”

Then, when she still didn’t seem to understand, he continued. “It’s a good thing. You see, Liam’sthe guy who stumbles onto the girls who say they’ll go to dinner with him. Not me.”

She looked around as they stepped into the parking lot, Alan guiding Catarina to his car so hecould drop off his gym bag. “I do not see Liam here. Only you.”

“You know, that might have been half my problem,” Alan joked.

He won another quizzical look as he unlocked his car.Alan grimaced as he extricated his arm from hers, wishing he hadn’t opened this particular can of

worms. “All I mean is that maybe the reason I’ve had such a hard time meeting women is because Iwas almost always with Liam. And let’s be honest, when you have someone that handsome andcharming next to someone like me, it’s a no-brainer.”

“You are jealous of your friend?”Alan stiffened. Jealous. The shame of it clenched in his gut. Wasn’t he supposed to be the

psychologist? Wasn’t he supposed to have the answers to human behavior?He turned to face her from the trunk of his car. “It’s not like I wish bad things for the guy. He’s a

decent friend. Deserves to catch a break himself. It’s just—it’s just that sometimes, from the outsidelooking in, it looks easier for him than it ever was for me. I think that’s what I’m jealous of.Sometimes.”

Catarina seemed to ponder his words as he closed the trunk and gestured to the front seat. “Youwant a ride? It’s a little chilly tonight.”

Catarina eyed his beaten up Toyota with suspicion. He didn’t blame her. Despite his best efforts,the fifteen-year-old car was starting to look like a piece of junk, from the rust eating up the wheelwells to the fading gray paint color. Not to mention the plethora of dings and dents.

That sense of inadequacy crept in on him again, and the anxiety it produced made him feel fidgety.He tapped the trunk of his car with one hand. “She doesn’t look like much, but she’s actually—well,she doesn’t run so well either, if I’m being honest. I’m saving up for something newer, but—”

He rubbed the back of his neck as Catarina pulled out her own set of keys and pressed a button.Across the row, the trunk to a small black sedan popped open.

Alan tried to remind himself that he was a strong, confident man who wasn’t threatened by the factthat Catarina had a nicer looking car than he did. Nor that she apparently didn’t see why it might beinsulting for her to offer to drive them.

He shifted, uncomfortable. He was supposed to be an evolved man who didn’t measure his worthby his ability to provide for whatever woman might one day come into his life. He wasn’t reallyacting the part right at this moment, however.

When he didn’t immediately follow her, she looked behind her. “The restaurant is only shortwalk. I thought I could drop off my own bag, and we could leave both cars here?”

Alan breathed a sigh of relief as he locked his car again. “Right. It’s more romantic that way.”It was only a few seconds before Alan met her over by her car, but even in those few seconds, he

could tell that something had changed. “Catarina?”She toyed with the keys in her hands. “This word romantic is for being lovers, yes?”Alan coughed, assuming that the word’s connotation hadn’t quite translated into her native tongue.

“Uh, yeah. Why?”She shifted again, but this time, she let her keys fall to her side. “Alan, I think you are sweet, and

if we had met at another time in my life, perhaps...”She let the words die on her lips as her protestations became clear. Still, he forced himself to

smile. “Hey. No biggie. We can have dinner as friends, too. No big deal.”“But you said that walking would be more romantic.”Alan swept her argument away. “That was my way of making sure that we were on the same page.

JustOf going to dinner as friends.”He could read the doubt in her eyes.Alan sighed as he took a step toward her. “You and I both know that Liam and Cassie are

probably going to figure out whatever it is that’s keeping her from saying yes.”Catarina clasped her hands in front of her, and he sensed that bringing up the Air Force officer

had been a misstep on his part. “Perhaps.”Alan swallowed the impulse to take her hands in his as a sudden idea took shape in the forefront

of his mind. But it was insane. He had no right to ask her to do this. Especially not on the heels of hertelling him that she was not interested in his affection. “Last week, I got a dozen phone calls fromwomen that said they’d gotten my number from Cassie. All of them were looking for some kind ofValentine’s Day fling to feel a little less alone. I asked one out thinking she sounded the mostrefreshingly honest of them all, and she ended up grilling me like I was on a job interview.”

Catarina grimaced as if she was no more interested in the idea of getting fixed up than Alan was.“How awful.”

The statement made Alan relax somewhat. As if he’d been on the right track the whole time. “Myguess is that she’s been so wrapped up in her career that she never really had time for a social life.She’s probably getting pressure at work to try to prove that she can settle down if she wants to be inthe running for a promotion, or she’s decided that she wants to have kids and is pursuing thatparticular goal with the same tactics that made her so successful at her job.”

Catarina’s lips lifted in a smile, and Alan shook his head, confused. “What?”“You have every reason to dislike this woman, but you have whole story in your head about why

she was not wrong to do what she did.”Alan shrugged. “In my experience, everyone has reasons for what they do. They’re not always

good reasons, and they aren’t always the right things to do, but nobody does anything just to annoysomeone or to make their life miserable. There’s always a reason why they feel they need to do that.For example, when I told this woman that it wasn’t going to work out, she gave me this line abouthow she had been about to make up an excuse to leave herself.”

Catarina frowned at him. “And you knew she was lying?”Alan shook his head. “For all I know, she really was going to get a phone call. Doesn’t really

matter to me.”Hoping he hadn’t offended when he talked about the other date, Alan returned his attention to

Catarina. “I know I’m taking a long time to tell this story, and I’m sorry about that.”Catarina shook her head. “Is no trouble.”He smiled his thanks as he continued. “What that comment about getting a phone call and wanting

to end our date told me was that she wasn’t used to failing. So, she came up with a reason why shehadn’t been the problem. I was just the scapegoat for her feelings of inadequacy... And frankly, I’vebeen there. Those feelings can be a bitter pill to swallow.”

Catarina chewed on the inside of her cheek before she looked back at him. “Why are you tellingme this?”

Alan stopped abruptly, and Catarina mirrored his action. “Because the only crime I committedbefore getting calls from a half dozen lonely women on Valentine’s day was to show up single atLiam and Cassie’s Christmas party a few weeks ago.”

She squinted at him as if she could almost see where he was going with this, but he wasn’t sure ifshe’d fallen on the correct interpretation of the clues. “I do not understand.”

Alan let go of her hand and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he looked down at his leathershoes. “Truth is, it usually feels like I’m the last of my single friends at these things. Maybe thatshouldn't feel like a competition, but I was the kid who was always done with the test before anyoneelse in school. So, being the last one standing in a room full of married people feels like failure

sometimes.”For a brief moment, he could almost read understanding in her eyes, and he couldn’t help but

wonder if her understanding was because she’d had the same experience or if she was empatheticenough to tap into the emotion independent of a shared experience.

“You can tell me it’s a stupid idea, and I’ll walk away.” He raised his hands in surrender.“Honest.”

“But?”He let himself fully consider what he would be asking her to do. What he would be putting

himself through by asking her to do it. “But... I don’t think I want to go to Liam and Cassie’s weddingalone.”

“Alan...” Her expression was dubious. “My life here in America is complicated. No matter howmuch I might wish otherwise, I cannot begin anything more than friendship.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to.”Confusion played on her features again. “Explain.”A flicker of hope danced in the center of his chest. She hadn’t shut him down yet. That was good.

Now, if he could slowly get her used to the idea before she heard the words that would make herthink twice...

He cringed. This whole set up seemed manipulative and sneaky, even to him. Emotions he wouldrather not have felt as he proposed this idea. Still, he couldn’t take the chance that she would getscared and run away before he presented his whole case.

“If Liam and Cassie work things out and get engaged, I don’t want to run the risk that they try toset me up with anyone so I don’t have to attend the wedding by myself. So, maybe I pretend to have agirlfriend.”

She repeated the word as if she couldn’t believe what he was asking. “Pretend...”He nodded. “I could hang out with this woman from time to time. Tell Liam about all the fun

we’re having. We’ll have dinner once a week. Maybe see a movie on the weekends. Predictable butnon-committal. The kinds of things you can still do as friends without complicating things too much.”

When her white skin went nearly translucent, he suspected she’d figured out his proposition. “Youwish me to pretend.”

Alan took a long moment to respond. Maybe he’d underestimated what a chore this would be forher. “I get that I’m not the world’s best catch, so if you found someone you liked better, I wouldn’tstand in your way. I’d step aside, and we could pretend like we’d broken up. Only you and I wouldknow it was never real.”

“You chose me because of my beauty?” The moisture in her eyes reflected the lights from thestreetlamps overhead. “Because I would make you look most successful?”

He was surprised to realize how much her supposition hurt him physically. He took a step towardher though he reigned in the strongest urge to brush his fingers against her cheek and soothe her fears.“I would never use you to make someone else feel jealous, and if you don’t want to do this, I won’thold it against you.”

“Then, why?”Alan’s voice was hoarse as he spoke. “Because I know how it feels to be new in town. I’ve never

moved from another country, but I have been the kid who came to a new school and had a hard timemaking friends. Now, I don’t know everything about you that Liam does—and that’s okay. I don’tneed to. But what I suspect is that you could use a friend. Some reason not to sit in your apartment allday every day, afraid of whatever it is that keeps you up at night.”

The silence swelled between them before Alan gestured toward the restaurant. Catarina walkedthe next few steps like her mind and body were in two different places.

As he reached for the door, she put her hand on his and stopped him. “Some people will doanything to avoid being alone.”

Alan glanced at the cobblestone sidewalk. “Is that a no, then?”She waited until he looked back at her. Then, when she was sure she had his attention, she shook

her head. “I will do it, but only on one condition.”Something about the way she countered made him nervous. He didn’t know what she was about to

say. Cautiously, he pressed her. “And what’s that?”“No personal questions.”Alan laughed to himself. “That’s it?”Her brown eyes were sharp as she looked back at him. “Is no laughing matter. No personal

questions. If you press me for answers, I will disappear, and you will never find me again.”Her sincerity unsettled him more than her request, but he bobbed his head once. “Okay, then. No

personal questions. Got it.”Only after several seconds did she extend her hand. “Is deal, no?”Alan studied her hand as he thought through the ramifications of the deal, wondered why she was

so opposed to him asking her personal questions. Then, with a sharp intake of breath, he took herhand. “It’s a deal.”

T

Chapter Four

Catarinainy snowflakes danced in the wind outside as Alan and Catarina found their seats near the frontwindows of the Main Street Bar and Grill. Alan helped Catarina with her coat before she

scooted into the booth. “I probably shouldn’t admit this, but these people are practically family to me.Like the bar in Cheers.”

Catarina’s brow furrowed as she folded the coat over her purse beside her in the corner booth,not sure about the reference. “Cheers?”

Alan’s face lit up as he slipped into his seat on the opposite side of the circular seat. “It’s atelevision show about these people. They meet in a bar every night...”

They’d only determined a few minutes ago that they would pretend to be dating, but she’d beensomewhat pleased with the little courtesies that had afforded her. Such as how he’d sped up to catchthe door before she stepped inside. Or how he’d put his hand at the small of her back to guide her asthey followed the host back to the table.

Still, Catarina couldn’t help but think she’d made a horrible mistake. She should have at leastexplained to Alan that knowing her at all could put his life in danger if Pyotr ever figured out whereshe was. Unfortunately, she couldn’t do that without revealing information she’d sworn to theAmericans she would never divulge.

The enticing scent of griddled meat and fried potatoes wafted their direction as one of the femaleservers tended to another table. The young woman with vivid red hair grinned as she waved. “Beright there, Alan!”

“Take your time. We’re in no hurry.” Alan turned back to Catarina without blinking an eye. “Nowthat I think about it, if I say that Cheers is a show about people who meet in a bar every night, that’snot terribly flattering. You might think it’s about a bunch of alcoholics, when in reality it’s just abunch of people who are meeting to talk about the stuff going on in their lives. In fact, when I went to—”

Catarina raised a hand to stop him, her attention riveted on the young woman currently laughingwith another table after delivering their food. “Alan...”

He looked confused. “What?”She scooted closer so that she wouldn’t have to speak so loudly about how unreal their

relationship was. Alan followed suit until they were cozied up in the center of the booth. “I thoughtyou were not good at speaking with women.”

He wrapped an arm around her as if they were on a real date, and for one brief moment, she hadthe same sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that she’d gotten once she’d figured out who Pyotrreally was.

But this was not Pyotr, and she was not trapped. Unfortunately, her stomach didn’t seem to knowthe difference.

Alan’s smile was bright as he leaned in closer, but it faltered when he caught sight of her. “Areyou okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Is nothing.” Catarina waved off his concern, though she took a little space from him as she triedto get her nausea under control. “Answer my question.”

Alan put a hand to her forehead and a finger to her wrist. “Your heart rate’s through the roof. No

fever, but you’re breathing a little harder than normal... Have you ever had a panic attack?”Her hands trembled, and she clasped them together to try to still them. “No personal questions.”Alan used one of the curse words that Catarina’s brother had gleefully used back when he’d been

learning English as a small child. The sentiment was very different, however, when Alan used it. Likehe was angry, but he didn’t fling it at her the way he might have if he’d been angry with her. He turnedit on himself instead.

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me into that.” Alan shook his head as he mumbled to himself. “Iknew the minute I agreed that I would regret it.”

Then, he turned back to her. “We can go if you think that would be best. Or you can have myjacket. Whatever you think would help.”

The nausea abated as she stared at Alan. “You are not going back on your word?”Alan seemed surprised by her question. “Why would I?”“You think I tricked you.”Alan’s laughter was brittle. “No. I was too eager to get rid of my new entourage and agreed to

something I probably shouldn’t have. But that’s on me. Not on you. You were just trying to protectyourself.”

Sorrow etched lines on his face. “I just wish I knew why you felt the need.”As much as she hated to think about Pyotr, it was hard not to compare him to Alan. By now,

Catarina would have been a stupid girl and a host of other terrible names. Alan, however, worriedabout her.

She wrapped her arms around herself as the fear started to subside. “Is complicated.”For a moment, Alan’s green eyes seemed to look past everything she couldn’t say. He appeared to

want to ask her a question. Maybe a few.The young waitress placed cups of water in front of them and then removed the extra place

settings for the couple. “Dr. Barrows. Good to see you again. And it looks like you brought a friend.”Alan smiled in response, though he didn’t put his arm around her again. “Hello again, Bridget.

And you can call me Alan.”“You know I can’t do that. My dad would kill me.”Alan turned to Catarina before she could ask what was going on. “Bridget’s dad is the psych

department chair at the Academy. We rarely get a chance to socialize after work, but when I was newin town, Frank told me about this place. Said his daughter was bussing tables and told me to say helloif I got a chance because she was a little insecure.”

“Six years later, I’m the head server while I finish my undergrad in psychology.” Bridget got out asmall notepad and pencil from the black apron she wore around her waist.

“Like father, like daughter,” Alan murmured under his breath.Bridget rolled her eyes. “If I was really anything like my father, I’d be going military. Or at least,

that’s what he tells me every time I go home for Sunday dinner.”Catarina looked up as she took a sip of water. “You are not interested in serving in your country’s

military?”Bridget shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything my dad and people like him

have sacrificed to keep us safe. I just don’t want to do the whole schlepping around the country thingto my kids that Dad did to us.” Then, she blushed. “You know, when I have kids. Someday.”

The waitress cleared her throat as she flipped to a new page of her notepad. “What can I getstarted for you, two?”

Alan looked over Catarina’s shoulder at the menu. “Their lemonades are handcrafted, and they’re

delicious. My favorite is the blackberry hibiscus.”Bridget smiled to herself as she made a note. “It’s a fan favorite, but we do have some craft beers

on tap if you’d prefer that.”Catarina shook her head and surrendered the drink menu. “The lemonade will be fine.”Bridget looked up over the edge of her notepad as if she was unconvinced. “You sure? I’ve got a

great IPA I can recommend if that’s in your wheelhouse.”Catarina frowned. So many letters and words swimming around in her brain, getting lost in

translation. IPA? Wheelhouse? She didn’t know where to start. “The lemonade will be fine,” sherepeated.

Bridget nodded, then tucked the notepad back into her pocket. “You guys going to that Academyawards ceremony on Thursday? Dad went and got his dress uniform pressed and everything. He’spulling out all the stops.”

Alan cleared his throat. “Uh, I’m going, but I’m not really sure it’s the right place to have a—”Before she could really think about what she was doing, Catarina scooted closer again and took

his hand in hers. “What he means to say is that I have not yet checked my schedule.”Bridget took in their entwined hands before she nodded. “Right. Well, I’m sure you’ll have a great

time. Dad says it’s really nice between the food and everyone in their formal uniforms.”“Or tuxes,” Alan murmured under his breath.Catarina eyed him, confused.“Not all of us are military. Some of us wear tuxedos.” Then, his smile grew nervous. “I told you

that, honey. Remember?”She feigned forgetfulness. “Yes. My apologies.”“Yes, thank you.”The notepad went back into the apron which seemed to say that the young woman bought their

pretense as a couple. “Cool. If you need anything, just hollar.”Catarina breathed a sigh of relief as the young woman walked away, forgetting even to ask what

the word hollar meant.Alan let go of her hand almost immediately. “You didn’t have to do that.”She managed a thin smile. “What is American saying? Deal is deal?”Alan smiled in appreciation, but that didn’t seem to replace the concern on his face. “Feeling any

better?”She changed the subject, not interested in even thinking about how she was feeling. Especially

after she’d tried to follow that last conversation. She thought her English had been good before shecame to this country, but after the last few minutes, she wondered if she’d been learning a differentlanguage than the one they spoke here.

She played with her straw, the ice tinkling against the glass. “Why do you think you cannot speakto women?”

He turned back to her. “Are you suggesting I’m better at talking to women than I think?”“Is possible, no?”He pondered the idea as he looked at his menu. “Technically, yes. It can be really hard to

objectively rate yourself on skill development.”Instead of answering, however, he sank back into the booth and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why do you think I’m better at talking to women than I think I am?”Catarina gestured to the waitress who was now talking to another couple a few tables down.

“You spoke well with Bridget.”

He followed her gaze before a smile lifted the corners of his lips. “I’ve known her since she wasfifteen. So, it’s an anomaly. I’m great with kids. Better with teenagers.”

He glanced up at her as his round cheeks almost seemed to turn a bright red color. “Stand me infront of a single woman who has as much grace as she has poise, though, and I’m hopeless.”

He said the words with particular emphasis as he looked at her, and Catarina’s heart fluttered.The weight of a fake romance might have reminded her more of her time with Pyotr than she

would have liked, but Alan’s humbled sincerity whenever he spoke about her beauty was nothing likethe giant Russian man.

Besides, he wasn’t hopeless in talking to women, though she didn’t say anything. Just shifted inher seat and looked down at her menu. Perhaps he had been a little clumsy from time to time in gettingto know her, but that had been part of the charm, in her opinion.

“Many people wish they were charming and sophisticated.” Catarina’s fingers played with thecorner of her menu. “But they do not realize that charming people are dangerous.”

She said the words with a matter-of-fact tone, and she almost waited for Alan to respond withsome overinflated concern for her.

Instead, Alan didn’t even look up from his menu. “Is that why you try to protect yourself? Becausesomeone charming took advantage of you?”

Catarina’s heart lodged in her throat. “That sounds like personal question.”Alan sighed. “Right. And I promised to stop asking those.”Guilt washed over her. It wasn’t his fault that she was a wreck after Pyotr. Or that Alan’s

invitation to have a fake relationship had triggered some of those same feelings of pretense andmanipulation. Unlike Pyotr who would have sulked because things weren’t going his way, Alanseemed to take personally the idea that she didn’t feel entirely safe in his company. Even with all theaccommodations he’d made for her.

She wanted to do something to make it up to him. Anything to help him feel a little less alone thanhe already did. She scooted a little closer to him in the booth and wrapped his arm around hershoulders. “If we are going to play the part of lovers, we must practice, no?”

Alan swallowed, audibly, as he settled in beside her. “Practice. If you really want to, then yeah.Sure. I could practice.”

She lowered her voice to a husky whisper as she gestured back to the menu. “You will help mechoose which hamburger to try tonight?”

Alan nodded once, as if he was distracted. Then, he nodded again. “My personal favorite is thecowboy burger. It comes with onion rings and barbecue sauce.”

As she tried to decide if that was appetizing or not, he laughed nervously. “It should really becalled the Heart Attack Special because of all the fried food, cheese, and bacon, but you’ll die happy.Promise.”

His ears turned red. “Can we add a stipulation in this fake relationship that if I start rambling, youfind a way to shut me up? Stuff my mouth with a roll. Pinch my thigh. Anything. Seriously, you’d bedoing me a favor.”

Catarina thought back to the reason she wasn’t in Ukraine with her family or in Russia with theballet. Instead of dwelling on all the things she’d lost, she turned a small smile up at him. “There areworse things than being clumsy with words. Much, much worse things.”

Though he didn’t say anything, Alan’s hold on Catarina’s shoulders tightened, and for a moment,her heart lightened. Perhaps despite the fact that she could not tell him everything, he understood morethan he let on.

Her heart pounded and her mind whirled before she turned a little more into the embrace andleaned her cheek on his shoulder. Perhaps having someone to lean on in these difficult days would benice, after all.

BIG, FLUFFY SNOWFLAKES clung to Catarina’s eyelashes as she and Alan stopped at her car. Shenearly moved to catch it before Alan’s hand caught her wrist between two fingers that hardly dustedher pulsepoint.

Her breath trapped in her lungs as he positioned himself ever closer to her. His voice was barelyabove a whisper as he realized how near he’d come. “I just thought that since I can see them, maybe Ican get them for you?”

She trembled as she nodded. “All right.”She might have been tempted to believe it was the temperature that made her so twitchy except

that in Kiev and in Moscow, she’d regularly braved temperatures much colder than this.Her heart rate quickened as he stuck out his tongue in concentration, then reached two fingers to

her eyelashes to pluck the offending snowflakes from their perch.“They’re just so pretty that I don’t want to ruin the effect,” he said as he pulled back slightly.“The snowflakes?” she asked as her mind conjured an image of kissing him. Of how he might tug

her close as his lips captured hers.Though he looked at the ground, his eyes looked like spring to her. With grass-colored irises that

gave her a curious strength and hope for new life. She wished he hadn’t looked down because shewanted to drink in that strength all the more.

He shuffled his feet slightly as he brushed the snowflakes away and let his hand fall to his side.“Uh, yeah. The snowflakes. It would be a shame to ruin the snowflakes.”

He pulled away and stuffed his hands in his pockets, and his ears turned an alarming shade of red.Silence bred tension between them before Alan cleared his throat. “About that dinner Bridget

mentioned... You don’t actually have to come if you don’t want to. It’s kind of hit and miss whichprofessors bring dates to these kinds of things. So, it’s not without precedent for me to go alone.”

“Do you wish I not go?”She would have expected there to be relief, given how little she was looking forward to this

charade. Instead of relief, however, she felt a curious sadness. Disappointment.Alan’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “No, no. If you want to go, I’m happy to have you. I just

didn’t want you to feel like you were roped into it just because of what you did back there. Youknow, pretending I’d asked you but you had to check your schedule.”

His eyes held hers. “Thanks for that, by the way.”There was something about the way he looked at her, like she had done him the favor and not the

other way around, that made her pause. “You are not like other men.”Alan winced. “You’re just figuring that out?”She wanted to kick herself for the way the statement had been received. She may not have known

him long, but she should have anticipated how he would take her words. Like an attack. She groanedand caught his arm in her hand. “Is good thing. You are grateful. Humble. Some men believe they are—”

Her English felt especially limited at this moment. “How you say? Like they are a gift to women.”Alan’s lips lifted in understanding. “We say God’s gift to women here, but the idea’s the same.”She chewed on the concept. “God’s gift to women... What I mean to say, Alan, is that you are

kind. Thoughtful. Some men are not this way.”He looked at her with that gaze that seemed to see straight through her. “Why do I get the feeling

you’re talking about an ex?”She pictured the letter x and frowned. “What about an x?”Alan seemed just as confused before he spoke again. “No, not the letter. An ex-boyfriend. Ex-

husband, maybe.”“Only boyfriend. Never husband.” She shuddered at the idea of ever marrying Pyotr. Thank the

stars, she’d been wise and fortunate enough to get away from him before that had happened. “Was notmy smartest decision.”

He seemed relieved, breathing easier. “Good.”Catarina studied him, confused. “You are glad that I made poor choices in who I dated?”He cleared his throat as his ears flamed again. “Oh, of course not. Sorry. What I meant was that

I’m glad that things are closed in that chapter of your life. You don’t have some ex-boyfriend who’sgoing to come back into your life and try to expose our little romance for the game it is.”

Catarina’s stomach lurched at the idea of Pyotr coming back. Of how he’d respond when he sawAlan. Of the danger she would have put him in.

She managed a weak laugh. “Yes. What relief.”He rubbed his hands against the cold. “So, where’d we fall on the whole work dinner thing? Am I

on my own?”Despite her better judgment, Catarina shook her head. “Give me phone.”He raised an eyebrow as he passed over the small device he’d had in his pocket. She typed in her

phone number and her name. “Text me with information. I will be there.”He grinned as he took the phone back. Like she’d given him something priceless. “Thanks. I’m

looking forward to it.”Before she could react, his lips were on her cheek. She gasped at the sensation of his prickly

stubble against her soft cheeks, but it wasn’t painful. In fact, there was something nice about the feelof his skin against hers.

His embarrassment could be seen as he pulled away, even in the faint glow of the streetlampsoverhead. “Sorry. It was an impulse, and I—”

He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “Well, I should have thought through that a littlemore before I did it. Should have asked if it was okay.”

There was a strange lump in her throat as she nodded. Perhaps it was that Pyotr had always beencalculating in how he kissed her. Perhaps it was that she’d felt like she was a puppet on a string intheir relationship. In either case, Alan’s gentleness left her speechless. Again. “Good night, Alan.”

He reached into his pocket for his keys as he smiled at her. He looked almost like a boy as hegrinned. “Sweet dreams, Catarina.”

For the first time in many months—years, even, if you counted the time she’d been with Pyotr—she suspected she would have sweet dreams. Dreams of a tender, gentle sweetheart who might oneday find his way past her defenses.

At the very least, when this fake relationship was all over, she could thank Dr. Alan Barrows forthat gift. One for which she would be eternally grateful.

A

Chapter Five

Alanlan had expected a wave of crippling self-doubt to hit him the moment he’d asked Catarina topretend to be his girlfriend. Expected and prepared himself for it.

Except...It didn’t show up. Not when Catarina started breathing heavily with Alan’s arm around her

shoulder the first time. Not when she’d pretended that he’d already asked her to accompany him to thenew recruit dinner Bridget was talking about. Not when he’d kissed her cheek before she left the gymparking lot...

In fact, as he walked into his Craftsman style house after their impromptu date, he wondered if itwould ever come. Which would be a welcome change, he thought as he let Rochester out of hiskennel and out to the backyard.

He glanced at the clock as he picked up the stack of mail he hadn’t quite gotten to sorting afterwork. Only a few minutes before ten. It had been years since three hours with a woman had passedwith such ease.

Maybe this fake relationship with Catarina would bolster his self-confidence by retraining himhow to relax while he got to know a beautiful woman. Take the pressure off, so to speak.

Alan sighed as he dropped the mail on the counter, then went onto the back deck. About the timehis cell phone rang.

“Barrows.”“Alan, honey, don’t panic.”Every nerve in his body was on full alert at his mother’s attempt to soothe him. “What’s wrong?”His mind jumped into action, listing a litany of ways he should have known that the anxiety he was

facing had been inevitable. From his stupid suggestion that he pretend to date a woman who clearlyhad her own issues and a sordid, undisclosed past with his best friend to the impulsive kiss he’dplanted on her cheek. If he wasn’t going to have a panic attack about this trumped up relationship, heshould have expected that the universe would have sent his mother some unspeakable disaster tocompensate.

The possibilities whizzed through his mind like speeding cars on the interstate. Had someonebeen hospitalized? Was the car totaled? Were they behind on their mortgage?

His mother’s voice, though not unkind, was displeased with his tone. “I told you not to panic.”“When in the history of bad news has that ever helped? What happened?” The frenzy Alan’s mind

had whipped him into wasn’t helping with his response, and though he needed to calm down, therewasn’t a thing he could do to help himself achieve that level of relaxation at the moment.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Really.” His mother’s resignation sounded in her voice the same way it hadwhen she’d called to tell him that she couldn’t come for Christmas because the weather in Denver hadbeen too bad for flights in and out.

A deep voice, too muffled for Alan to make out what he was saying, sounded in the background.His mother sighed. “Oh, honestly, Gary. It wasn’t as bad as all that.”Alan’s whole body stilled. “Mom... What happened?”“I broke my foot, Alan. Just above the ankle.”Alan’s heart didn’t start beating regularly yet. “And you need surgery?”

“Oh, heavens no. I have to follow up with an orthopedic surgeon, but they think I’ll be fine.”Alan breathed a prayer of gratitude. “Okay... So, you told me not to panic because...”“Ever since you were a little boy, you just hated when people were in pain. It’s one of the things I

love most about you, but it does make things tricky when I have to admit that I’ll be hobbling aroundfor a few weeks. Maybe even a few months.”

Alan grabbed a soda from the fridge and sank into his armchair with Rochester curling up on thefloor beside him as his mother described the way she had rolled her ankle when stepping off the curb.How she had broken a couple of her favorite clay pots and damaged the little lilac saplings in each.

He mumbled his gratitude that she was well. Even managed a coherent goodbye before he turnedon the television and settled in for a few hours of classic sitcoms before bed.

The depression that always seemed to follow one of his anxiety attacks crowded in around himlike a weighted blanket. All the hope he’d found just a few moments earlier a distant memory. Theloss compounded by the helplessness that came from knowing he could do nothing to help butcommiserate over the phone.

It seemed clear now that he would live and die in this chair. Forever alone. Never having reallytasted true joy.

He didn’t think it could get worse until Liam texted him somewhere around one in the morning asAlan watched reruns of The Nanny. Alan glanced down at his phone and flicked the message open.

No apology for standing him up. No acknowledgement that Alan had tried to reach him severaltimes earlier.

Just one line.She said yes!Alan just closed his eyes in resignation. Just what he needed after the emotional roller coaster

he’d survived just a couple hours later.

THE BOX WITH THE CORSAGE rattled in Alan’s hand as he picked Catarina up for the awardsceremony. It reminded him of being an adolescent picking his date up for prom, especially since hismind wondered what he was going to do if he stuck her with the pin while he tried to attach thecorsage to her dress.

Rather, it would have reminded him if he’d actually gone to prom. Unfortunately, even back inhigh school, he’d found it hard to find a date to these sorts of things.

He forced himself to take a moment to breathe before he knocked on the door. He recited one ofthe affirmations he’d often offered to his students when they were gripped by anxiety about dating. Iam confident, capable, and wonderful to talk to.

If he’d been his own patient, he would have had homework to recite the words several timeseveryday in front of a mirror until he started to believe them, but this was an emergency situation. Heneeded a task to help regulate his anxiety before he knocked.

Serenity slowly crept up his legs, settled in his core, and then pumped out to his arms.Much better.He knocked three times on the door, taking the time before she answered to breathe deeply. An act

that only strengthened the hold he had on his calm.He opened his eyes as the door opened a crack. Catarina’s symmetrical, classical features came

into focus, framed by her long, styled dark curls.His breath hitched as he caught sight of the showstopping black gown she wore. The lace that

seemed to curve in hills and valleys across her shoulders and down her arms to her wrist lay over thetightly tailored gown that hugged her bodice and hips in just the right ways.

He just blinked at her, trying to comprehend that this beauty was going to be his date for theevening.

“Alan?”He felt like he had to pick his jaw up off the floor before he looked back at her face. To see the

woman he’d met hiding behind expertly done makeup.“Uh, this is for you.” He thrust the pink orchid corsage in her direction as he tried to find some

way to tell her how stunning she looked without offending her by using a word as plebeian asbeautiful.

“Is lovely.” She brushed a lock of her curls over one shoulder and exposed her right side to him.“Help me put it on?”

He was almost afraid he’d swallowed his tongue before he nodded. “Yep.”His hands shook again as he tried to open the box. He looked up, too flustered from how long it

was taking to get at the corsage to be able to speak coherently. “You look fantastic.” Then, feeling theblood rush to his ears, he shook his head. “I mean, that’s not the only reason I asked you to come tothis. I would have asked you if you hadn’t looked like a supermodel when we first met.”

He grimaced. This was going from bad to worse, and the stupid corsage box wouldn’t—He must have squeezed it just right because the box popped open and the flower leapt out of its

protective case.He felt sick as the orchid landed face down on the ground, undoubtedly bruising the delicate

petals.In an instant, he was on the floor, trying to gather it up. Praying that he hadn't destroyed the fragile

beauty of the flower. “I’m sorry. I’m so clumsy. What was I thinking?”He was about ten seconds from calling the whole thing off when Catarina crouched beside him.

Her skin unbelievably soft against his as she wrapped her fingers around the palm of his hand.“Alan.”

He didn’t know how to respond when he looked into her chocolatey brown eyes and saw theheart-stopping compassion in them.

She stood, gently tugging him up. Then, she brushed her hair back behind her shoulders a secondtime.

“What if I stick you?” He revealed the pearl-tipped pin.“I am strong woman.” Her lips lifted in a teasing smile. “I can handle pin prick.”Then, she caught his hand in hers again. Lifted it to where the opaque fabric peeked through the

lace overlay just above her right breast.For reasons he couldn’t explain, his trembling fingers grew steady as he went to work. Only a

moment later, with the corsage correctly pinned, he stepped back and let Catarina examine hishandiwork. “I didn’t get you, did I?”

She shook her head. “Well done. You had steady hand when it mattered most.”The fears that had plagued him just a few moments earlier seemed to dissipate with her kindness.

“I’m sorry I had to pick you up. I wasn’t completely sure that I’d be able to explain to you how to getto my office or where to park.”

Her expression was matter of fact. “Is better this way.”He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”Her eyes twinkled with mischief he’d never seen before. “If we are to convince others that we are

in relationship, is better for us to go to dinner together, no? In same car.”Once again, Alan was grateful for the intelligent, kind woman at his elbow. “You’ve got a point

there. Shall we?”

“ALAN!” LIAM’S VOICE resounded through the tiled entry as if the friends hadn’t seen each other inyears.

Alan’s stomach churned. Showtime. “Liam. Cassie.”He leaned in and kissed the doctor’s cheek with the same affection he might have saved for his

mother or a sister—if he’d had one. “You look stunning.”Cassie flushed in pleasure as the color in her cheeks contrasted stunningly with the cream color of

the calf-length dress she wore.On her left ring finger sparkled the princess cut diamond Alan had seen on Valentine’s day.Alan pressed thoughts of the text message announcement out of his mind as he managed his most

sincere smile. “Congratulations, you two. Liam told me you’d said yes.”Cassie beamed, radiant with the glow of a coming bride. “We talked it over, and when I admitted

that my fear was that my family would create drama at our wedding, he agreed to a long engagement.”“I had a feeling you would work things out. Glad I was right.” Alan looked over his shoulder at

the women’s restroom.Liam must have picked up on the motion because he stepped away from his fiancée for a brief

moment. “Alan, do you have a date?”Cassie peeked around Liam’s uniformed arm. “One of the girls from the book club?”“Actually, no.” Though that comment about the book club made sense now. Maybe Cassie had

only meant to inform one of the women about the single friend, and it had snowballed into a biggerthing.

Liam frowned. “So, wait... You found a date on your own?”Alan tried not to be offended. “Believe it or not, yes. I am an interesting conversationalist.”Cassie raised her hands to soothe Alan’s feelings. “We were just surprised that you didn’t say

anything. That’s all.”Alan didn’t try nearly as hard as he probably should have to disguise his bitterness. “Well, I

figured maybe I’ve been talking about being single too long given the onslaught of women who calledme over Valentine’s day weekend.”

Before either Cassie or Liam could respond, however, the sound of heels clacked against the tile.“My apologies, Alan. There was a woman who asked me about my accent...”

Catarina’s sentence died on her lips as she caught sight of the three of them.“Catarina.” Liam breathed her name in a whisper, apparently shocked by her appearance.Cassie ignored Liam’s response and embraced the woman with her cream purse still clutched in

one hand. “You look gorgeous.”Catarina’s cheeks reddened as she glanced down at the woman who was almost a foot shorter

than she was, even in heels. “Thank you. You are quite lovely yourself.”Alan stole a quick look at Liam, but the moment he did, he wished he hadn’t. The Air Force

officer’s scrutinizing gaze weighed so heavily on Alan’s shoulders that he took his date by the hand.“Catarina, what do you say we go find our seats?”

To his dismay, Catarina took an inordinately long time to look away from Liam... And when shedid, her eyes were hooded with shame.

Alan tried not to let his insecurities play in his mind again, but it felt almost impossible.Unfortunately, Cassie wasn’t spared the tension as she looked between the three other adults.

“Guys, what’s going on?”“Nothing.” Liam didn’t even try to smile at his fiancée as he looked at her. “Alan’s right. We

should find our seats.”

“SO, CATARINA, HOW DID you meet Alan?”Alan’s grip on his fork tensed as the whole psychology department of the Academy dissected his

new—albeit fake—relationship with the woman they said was the belle of the ball.“He was helping my neighbor move into her apartment.” She smiled over at Alan as she squeezed

his hand. “I was impressed with his hard work and generosity. Qualities it can be hard to find thesedays.”

Alan blinked at her. She was a better actress than he’d given her credit for. She hadn’tremembered them meeting until after he’d dropped Liam’s name, but here, she made it sound likeshe’d been just as impressed with him as he had been with her.

“Well, that was our first meeting,” Alan corrected. “Several months ago. We saw each otheragain on Valentine’s day.”

Catarina leaned in as if sharing a secret with the other women at the table. “He gave me flowersand helped me with my groceries. I knew then that he was good man.”

Even some of the men at the table, sitting with their wives, nodded in approval. Captain JessicaDaines squeezed her husband Jim’s hand. “I’m not usually one for romance, but that’s sweet, Alan.”

“Well, it’s not like I showed up there specifically to drop off flowers and help her with hergroceries.” Alan tugged at his tux shirt collar. “I mixed up the dates when I was supposed to havebrunch with some friends, and we ran into each other at that point. I had to get rid of the flowers, andI’d spent thirty dollars on them, so I wasn’t just going to dump them in the trash...”

Jim leaned over to Alan. “I hate to break it to you, buddy, but that kind of makes you sweeter inJessie’s opinion.”

“Because it was spur of the moment.” The captain who headed up the psy-ops training for thecadets smiled. “Just proves what Catarina was telling you. That you’re naturally a good guy. Whichisn’t news to any of us.”

Catarina linked her arm through his, an adoring smile on her lips.Alan had to force himself not to pull away. He wasn’t sure how he felt about how good she was at

faking this.“Speaking of sweet—” Colonel Frank Villanova pointed at the couple with his fork. “Why aren’t

the two of you out on the dance floor?”For the first time since they’d started this little charade, Catarina blanched. “Dance floor?”Frank’s wife, Isabella, just rolled her eyes. “Frank, leave them alone.”“Why? They’re dressed up, young, in love... Why shouldn’t they be on the dance floor?” There

was a note of something in Frank’s eyes that made Alan’s palms sweat. It might have just been agarden variety dare, but it could also have meant that Frank could see something wasn’t quite right.

Alan wanted to kick himself. He should have known better than to bring Catarina to a table filledwith psychologists for their first excursion as a fake couple. This could break the whole thing open inno time.

“Sorry, Frank, we may be all those things, but I personally have the worst case of two left feet in

the history of left feet.”He won a few laughs from around the table.“I’m afraid that if I were to even try to dance with Catarina, she’d end up with a broken leg.”Catarina didn’t look up as she played around with the food on her plate. “A little dancing never

hurt anyone.”Alan’s eyes widened as he faced her. “You’re sure?”A tiny smile played on her lips. “You cannot hurt me. I have nimble feet.”Alan just bobbed his head, then turned back to the rest of the table. “Apparently, I stand

corrected.”Alan stood and reached for Catarina’s hand, prepared to guide her out onto the dance floor.He stopped when he felt Isabella’s eyes on them. She just grinned. “Have fun.”Alan’s smile faltered as he realized what a fool he would look like on the dance floor. “Sure.

Fun. That’s what’s on the menu.”

A

Chapter Six

Catarinas they walked out onto the dance floor, Catarina looked at Alan. Sweat collected at histemples, and if his beard didn’t cover most of his face, he might have looked pale enough to

faint.Shoving her own concerns about being on the dance floor aside, Catarina squeezed his fingers.

“Relax. Will be all right.”Alan wiped at his brow as they reached the area of the room set aside for dancing. “Yeah, that’s

what you say now. I’m not kidding when I say I’m a terrible dancer. I went to one of those schooldances when I was a kid, and it was awful. I think I broke my partner’s toes once. Another time, wewere doing some crazy circular dance, and when I let go of her hands, the centrifugal force ended upflinging her across the room.”

Catarina had to force herself not to laugh because she could see the real distress on Alan’s face.Instead, she took his hand and put it on her waist.

Though it seemed to quiet him, it only seemed to intensify the rate at which he paled.She leaned in close enough that he would be the only one who could hear her. “We are young and

in love, yes?”She’d only meant the words as a reminder of their roles tonight, but as she pulled away, there was

an affection in his expression she didn’t know how to handle. One that felt too real to be pretend.Even for a psychologist who knew more than the average person about how to make a relationshiplook real.

No one had ever looked at her that way, like she was an angel of mercy. Not even in her bestrelationships.

She looked away as her cheeks grew warm. “Is not hard to dance. When you step forward, I stepback with opposite foot.”

Alan gave her a rueful smile. “That doesn’t sound easy. At least, not for you.”Once again, her mind compared the gentle Alan with the menacing Pyotr. “Do you always

consider how others feel about everything?”Alan shook his head. “I’m human. Sometimes, I think more about myself than I do about other

people.”“When?” She didn’t mean to sound like she didn’t believe him, but she genuinely hadn’t seen that

side of him.His ears started turning pink, and Catarina realized that was the way that he responded whenever

he got embarrassed. “Well, I was raised to be humble. I’m sure I’ve been selfish before.”Catarina laughed against his shoulder as they stood on the dance floor, her arm hooked around his

neck instead of on his biceps as it should have been.Alan held her close as his chest rumbled with his own laughter. His fingers brushed her long hair

as they swayed to the music. “I love your laugh. I don’t think I’ve heard it before.”“I have not had much reason to laugh until now.” What had started as a way to hide her amusement

shifted in the last moment to a way to find comfort in Alan’s arms that she hadn’t even realized sheneeded.

She had intended to teach Alan how to dance with a partner, but for now, she was content to rest

her cheek on his shoulder with one hand in his as he guided her in an easy two step.Without letting go of her, Alan’s voice grew somewhat apologetic. “I’m sure this is pretty boring

for someone who’s as skilled a dancer as you are.”Catarina looked up into his eyes which he’d tried to hide from view. It dismayed her how he had

misread her silence, and she guided his eyes to meet hers. “There are many reasons to dance. Not allof them are to showcase skill.”

That sweet affection and gratitude in Alan’s eyes warmed her heart. “How did you get to be sowise?”

A memory of hard times from her childhood played in her mind. Of her father’s bright smile evenas he struggled to find work in a post-Cold War Ukraine. She remembered his arm around hershoulders as she cried over some small childhood tragedy. Perhaps a lost toy or perceived unfairtreatment. His gentle admonition. “Wisdom is the gift we receive after enduring hard times,” shewhispered.

It had been a long time since she’d thought of those words, and today, they brought her morecomfort than she’d expected.

“I’ve found that it depends on the person who receives the hard time whether it makes them wiseor not.” Alan’s hold on her tightened as he stopped on the dance floor. “You’re the kind of womanwho uses hard things to become better than she was before. I can tell.”

Catarina fell speechless. The words, more than any proclamation of her beauty, were the mostprecious compliment she could have received.

Strange how it had only been a few weeks, but the man before her looked less plain today than hehad yesterday... And though one might have been tempted to believe it was because he wore a tuxedotonight instead of his brown suits, Catarina grew more and more certain that seeing Alan’s heart hadhelped her to see him as the strong, handsome man he really was.

Alan’s brow furrowed in confusion as he felt her gaze on him. “What?”A warm feeling settled over her as they continued dancing. “I am grateful you are in my life, Alan

Barrows, for however brief a time.”With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he grew bold and turned her out into an amateurish twirl.

Yet, even after all her years of ballet, Catarina had never felt more like a princess than she did whenhe tugged her back into his arms. His whisper was warm on her cheek as he leaned in close. “Thefeeling is mutual, Catarina Petrovka.”

THEY HAD HARDLY GOTTEN themselves situated for another dance when Liam strode towardthem on the dance floor. Catarina’s stomach knotted at the mere sight of him, and it just got worsewhen Liam tapped Alan on the shoulder. “Mind if I cut in? I have to give my stamp of approval on mybest friend’s girlfriend, after all.”

Alan looked like he wanted to protest, but Liam didn’t give him a chance before he took thepsychologist’s place. Catarina was in Liam’s arms in an instant, and though she wanted to refuse him,she felt a bit like she had no right. Not while he was the only person who really knew her. Not whenhe was the reason she was still alive, and free of Pyotr’s experience.

She gave Alan a strengthening smile, one she hoped would tell him that she could handle herself.Even if she wasn’t sure that was true. “Is all right.”

Liam just smiled as if everything was all right, then with all the finesse and skill of a professionaldancer, Liam swept her away.

“So, you and Alan, huh?”Catarina easily kept up with Liam’s turns, grateful for the way the dance distracted her from his

attempt to intimidate her. If he’d hoped that whirling her around the dance floor would knock her offbalance, he miscalculated. If anything, she was in her element now more than she had ever been sincecoming to this country. “Is there a problem?”

“No problem.” Liam kept his tone light, but she could hear the interrogative undertone. “Just alittle surprised. You see, I didn’t think the two of you knew each other.”

“You thought wrong.”Liam fell quiet for a few more turns before he spoke again. “Do you really think that’s wise given

your situation?”“What situation is that?” Just as she had done with her handler a few weeks earlier, she pretended

not to know what he was talking about. Anything to make him admit what he was really trying to say.“Come on, I get that Alan’s a nice guy, but he’s not equipped to handle what you’re going through.

Especially if something happens, and you have to be relocated... Or worse.”Catarina’s expression was cold as she looked at him. “Either you were different five years ago,

or I did not see you as clearly as I do now.”Liam didn’t apologize, but he did soften his tone somewhat. “The woman I knew five years ago

would have been smarter about the risks she took with other people’s lives.”The words coming out of his mouth were so ridiculous, she almost couldn’t imagine she’d heard

them right. “You mean, like when I took an injured American pilot to the home of my family eventhough there were patrols looking for him? Hid him from everyone but my brother?”

Liam stepped on her toe, and Catarina tried not to smile in triumph. Apparently one of them wasoff-balance with the dance, but it wasn’t her. “That was different, and you know it. I could protectyou.”

“You had fever and nearly died, yet still you claim you could protect.” She rolled her eyes andtried to step away from the dance.

Liam grabbed her arm. “Catarina...”The memory of how Pyotr had similarly tried to take her by the arm in front of a disguised Liam,

made the action more of an insult than Liam had likely intended. She ripped her arm out of his grasp,reaching for her skirt with her unoccupied hand. She didn’t bother to hide the hurt and anguish in herexpression as she faced him. “You would have me believe you care about Alan, and yet, you do notknow why we met in the first place.”

Liam frowned. “Sure, I do. Alan was helping Cassie move into the apartment when we saw you.You waved, I said hello—something we probably shouldn’t do in the future, by the way—and youmet Alan.”

She shook her head. “Afterward. Alan and I never talked that day.”Liam shrugged. “Hey, I don’t keep tabs on him, and stop changing the subject. You’re being

irresponsible by leading Alan on like this, and I don’t think I can just stand by and look the otherway.”

Catarina blinked back tears, trying to pretend like the eyes of all the other dancers on the dancefloor weren’t on her. “You mean, like you did when he helped me with groceries? He would not havebeen there if he had been at brunch with you like planned.”

Liam appeared stunned for the first time since they spoke. “Hold on, that wasn’t my fault. It was amiscommunication.”

“Or when we had dinner because you did not go to basketball like you arranged?”

Liam didn’t respond to the allegation of standing Alan up. Just leaned in close. “I’m not trying tohurt you, Catarina. Honest. If you’d met under any other circumstances, I’d probably be the first tothrow rice at your wedding, but this—it just doesn’t sit right with me. Alan doesn’t stand a chanceprotecting himself against your ex, and you know it.”

Catarina’s tears slipped down her cheeks. This had been the man who had inspired her to looktoward America when her life with Pyotr had become unbearable. This had been the man who hadwon so much loyalty that when he appeared under stinking robes in a Moscow alley outside the ballettheater, she was not afraid to go with him.

Perhaps Liam should have banked more good will from her with all he had done, but hissuggestion that she was being selfish or that she had been ignorant of the danger in her newrelationship hurt worse than any of the intentional harm Pyotr had inflicted on her.

The knots in her stomach tightened so hard she felt a physical spasm. A wave of nausea. Shelooked back at Liam, and he met her gaze steadfastly.

She didn’t know if it helped or hindered when she saw the tiniest hint of apology in his blue-grayeyes. “Regardless of how good a friend I have or haven’t been lately, I’m here now. You need tobreak up with him, Catarina, and I think you know that. It’s the only way to keep him safe if you’rediscovered.”

Catarina forced herself to breathe through the pain and tears that his words threatened to unleash.She wasn’t sure how she did it, but she raised herself to her full height with only a hint of moisturerunning down her cheeks. “Is your idea of protecting Alan sending his phone number to dozens ofwomen he does not know when he is most lonely? Or leaving him without answer when he rearrangedhis schedule to support you in your vulnerable time?”

Liam looked away, apparently ashamed by her accounting of how he’d treated his friend in recentweeks.

Catarina wrapped her arms around herself. “I believe I will trust my own instincts.”Then, as the rising emotion threatened again to erupt, Catarina walked off the dance floor and to

the nearest exit.

CATARINA CLUTCHED HER middle as she gulped down the cool, March air. Every painfulemotion she’d felt since leaving Kiev for what seemed like a dream come true at the time seemed tohit her all at once, and if she had been at home, she might have sobbed into her pillow in the privacyof her room.

“Catarina...”The moment she heard the soothing timbre of Alan’s voice, she turned. It almost didn’t matter that

her tears were likely ruining her makeup. “Is all right, Alan. Go back and enjoy your party.”“I can’t let you leave like that.”She bit back another torrent of emotion, the kind that only came up when you were already hurting

and someone was kind to you.He took the last few steps toward her and took her hand as the March breeze ruffled through his

short, blond-brown hair. “Anything I can do?”She shook her head, grateful that he didn’t ask her any personal questions. Those would only make

it worse.She gestured toward the building. “I thought I could do this. Thought I could pretend, but taking

me to Liam and Cassie’s wedding is bad idea.”

There was a grimace on Alan’s expression. “If there is a wedding,” he murmured under hisbreath.

Catarina stopped her pacing and stared at Alan. “What are you saying?”“Come on, it can’t be rocket science to figure out Cassie and I could tell there was something

going on between you two.” Alan rolled his eyes. “I mean, I knew there was something, and you keeptelling me that it’s not what I think it is. Unfortunately, this was the first time Cassie had seen the twoof you together, so she wasn’t prepared.”

There was a silence that felt longer than Catarina thought she could endure before he spoke again,more quietly, “Besides, they don’t have a fake relationship. It’s real for her.”

Catarina sank onto the bench near the entrance of the hall. “She does not need to worry. Liam andI—is all ancient history.”

Alan took a long moment to think before he finally spoke. “Forgive me, but that didn’t look likeancient history to me.”

Catarina twisted her hands in her lap. “I cannot go to Liam’s wedding.”“We had a deal, and I’ve kept up my end of the bargain. Are you saying you want to give up

yours?”Catarina winced at the harshness of his comment, though she was sure he hadn’t meant it to hurt

her. She looked away, ashamed of her willingness to give up on something she had been willing totake a chance on not too long ago. “This was trial run, and you know it.”

“Maybe, but if they work things out and there’s still a wedding, I’m not going without a date.”Alan was clear and firm even as he sat beside her on the bench. “I thought you understood that.”

Liam’s warning about what would happen to Alan seemed to ring wildly in her mind. Thoughshe’d never been okay with the idea of an innocent person getting hurt, Catarina ached with the ideaof Alan being hurt by her foolishness.

He wrapped his arms around her when she shivered, and she put her hands on his chest. “I willfind someone else to be your fake girlfriend. Another yoga instructor. Someone who can go to Liam’swedding and not think of worst mistake in her life.”

Alan wrapped her hands in his own. “Letting the love of your life slip away.”Catarina’s head snapped up. “No.”The ferocity of her answer surprised even her.“No?”Catarina picked at the lace on her dress as she considered her answer. “Liam is not love of my

life.”Alan’s hand gripped at hers. “But I thought—”He looked back to the doors as if he thought Liam would exit right then. No one did, of course,

since they were likely still finishing up dinner before moving onto the actual award ceremony.Catarina sighed heavily as she realized she had to tell him what Liam had said. “Liam does not

approve of our relationship.”Alan’s eyebrows shot up. “He said that?”“He says you will be target if I do not end this now.”Alan leaned back from her as if he was trying to decide whether she was being truthful or not.

“So, you’re trying to convince me to find someone else to take to this wedding.”There was a beat of silence between them.Though her heart was in her throat, Catarina spoke. “Liam is right. Your discomfort at wedding is

small compared with saving your life.”

Alan scoffed as he stood, apparently too antsy with pent-up emotion to stay still any longer. “Whatlife? I sit on my butt in my house watching television shows that went off the air at least twenty yearsago. I work, I sleep, I eat, and I wake up and do it all again the next day.”

“You can change all that, but only if you are alive.” Perhaps this was all that Catarina would havesaid to her brother if she had gotten the chance. Perhaps this was what she had been saying to herselfever since she’d given up her dancing career. “You are good man. There are too few good menalready.”

Alan’s voice grew quiet as if she had pricked his conscience with her statement. “If I was a goodman, I’d let you go without saying a word. You’re doing me a favor, after all, by pretending to be mygirlfriend.”

Catarina brushed at her cheeks with her fingers. “Why did you choose me? You had severalwomen who wanted to be your real girlfriend, but you picked me to pretend.”

Alan shook his head. “You’re the only one who really cared if it was me you were going to dinnerwith or not. The other girls... They didn’t seem to care who they were calling as long as they woundup with a date at the end.”

It only felt like half an answer, and she waited for him to cough up the rest of his reasoning.He shifted before he spoke again. “Okay, fine. There’s something else, but it’s going to make me

sound petty and like a horrible human being. So, I’d rather not say it aloud.”Catarina couldn’t help but think of Pyotr. Nothing was ever his fault. And his crimes had been far

worse than anything she could imagine of Alan. “Is hard to believe I could hear anything that wouldmake you sound horrible. Not after the way your colleagues spoke of you.”

Alan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, they’re not going to hear what I’m going to tell you.”She reached for his hand and squeezed it. “I promise to be fair-minded. As you have been.”Alan ran a hand through his thick head of blond hair. Even scratched at the well-trimmed beard

afterward. Anything to keep from admitting what he was thinking. “I think it’s because you used todate Liam.”

Reflexively, Catarina’s eyebrow shifted upward. “Pardon me?”“I’ve spent the last couple years going out with Liam to bars, and without fail, there’s someone

who approaches the two of us. If she talks to me first, it’s because she doesn’t want to seem tooforward in approaching Liam and wants me to introduce her. If she talks to Liam first, it’s becauseshe didn’t notice me in the first place.”

He swallowed. “Nobody ever just comes over to talk to me. I guess I was hoping that by havingyou for my fake girlfriend to his wedding, I’d get over this fear that everyone who was ever in ourmutual proximity would immediately choose Liam over me.”

There was a beat of silence before Alan raised his head again. “Stupid, huh?”Compassion welled up for him as she looked into his kind, round face. “You sound human. Not

horrible. Not stupid. Just human.”He leaned toward her, and for a brief moment, she wondered if he was going to kiss her. She

would have welcomed the kiss, frankly. She’d never felt so completely appreciated without strings asshe did in this moment with him.

Instead, he cleared his throat, his voice somewhat hoarse. “Why don’t we go back inside, hm? Ifyou still have doubts about the ruse, we’ll talk about them afterward, okay?”

Catarina bit her lip as he helped her stand. Without a second thought, she tucked herself so closeto him that he had to wrap one arm around her waist. “Is good plan, Alan.”

She rested her cheek on his shoulder, giving herself permission to enjoy this moment a little

longer before they went inside.He glanced down at her without moving her forward. “You’re going to be okay to see Liam

again?”There was a long moment before she bobbed her head. Once.Oddly enough, his hold on her tightened at her reticence. “Well, stay close to me, okay?”He didn’t have to say it for her to know what he was thinking. He would protect her... And for the

first time since she’d come to this military base, she felt safe.

F

Chapter Seven

Alanor all of his bravado and projected confidence that he could protect Catarina, Alan almost hadto force himself to take the necessary steps to take his date back into the gala. He wanted to run

away, wanted to pretend that Liam hadn’t crossed a line by cutting in on their dance a few minutesearlier.

A hushed tone from the corner of the entry made Alan’s ear twitch as his attention zeroed in on it.“I can’t tell you everything about her. All I can tell you is that you don’t have anything to worryabout.”

Liam’s voice was familiar, and it took every ounce of self-control Alan to keep walking forwardwithout looking at the couple.

Cassie’s targeted whisper. “That’s exactly what Dan said when I caught him in the supply closetwith his physical therapist.”

Alan flinched even though the comment hadn’t been directed at him. The surgeon’s suspicion wasprobably Alan’s fault since he’d made a beeline for her when his dance had been interrupted.

Perhaps he had approached the woman with a little too much of his own frustration and added hisown fuel to the fire.

“Now, that’s not fair. I’m not Dan, and I’d never directly lie to you like that.” Liam sounded likehe was getting exasperated. “Besides, the only thing Dan couldn’t talk about was whatever patientsyou two didn’t share. Me, I have whole years of my life you’re never going to hear about becausethey’re classified.”

Catarina snuggled a little closer to Alan, and instinctively, he tightened his hold on her. Then, hesmiled down at her, trying to convince her that it was going to be okay.

A tall, muscular figure in a uniform shrugged past Alan with his head bowed. “Thanks a lot,Barrows.”

Behind them, a gust of cold March wind came in as one of the glass doors shut behind someonefleeing the festivities. Likely Cassie.

Before Alan could defend himself, Catarina stepped out of his protective embrace. “This is nothis fault. Is ours.”

She waited for him to turn anger to her but instead, he ran one hand through his golden hair. “Iknew the military would be too much for a relationship.”

“There are thousands of men and women who have families and serve their country in themilitary, Liam.” Alan stepped closer to Catarina and put his arm around her waist again. Hoped toshow that he was willing to stand beside her. “I know you didn’t ask, but I don’t think your problemswith Cassie stem from you being military. It sounds like she has some stuff she’s still processing fromanother relationship. Stuff that was brought up when you couldn't tell her everything about how youmet Catarina. Give her some time. She’ll understand, I’m sure.”

A shadow passed over Liam’s face. “Do me a favor, Barrows, and stop playing shrink, okay?”The words struck Alan with unusual force. “So, you want to go with best friend here? Because if

we go there, you might not like what you hear.”Liam frowned, his gaze flickering to Catarina. For a moment Alan wondered what the two of them

had discussed. If he had become one of their topics of conversation. That made him a little

uncomfortable, if he was honest. “Look, I get that I’m not going to win any Friend of the Year trophiesright now. I’m sorry if you’ve felt ignored lately. That wasn’t my intention.”

Catarina tugged on Alan’s arm. “Is not worth it. Let’s go.”Alan didn’t move, unable to either let Catarina fight this fight for him or to ignore it any longer.

“Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, but when you blew me off last week when we weresupposed to go to basketball, it stung.”

Liam’s brow furrowed. “We weren’t supposed to play basketball.”Alan’s patience was waning. “Yes, we were. You specifically told me not to be late the day you

told me that Cassie hadn’t said yes to your proposal yet.”Liam’s eyes widened as he apparently remembered the appointment, but they weren’t finished.Alan heard the sounds of the award ceremony beginning. They probably should head back soon,

but all this had to be hashed out. “That’s why I called you three times, and instead of trying toapologize or what have you, you texted me at nearly midnight to say that you’d gotten your yes.”

He couldn’t explain why, but with Catarina at his side, Alan felt stronger. Maybe it was becausehe wanted to show her that she had the right to stand up for herself, and therefore he felt compelled todo so himself. Maybe it was that she’d already intervened on his behalf. Whatever the reason,however, Alan felt confident enough to patiently admit his own hurt to the man who had been theclosest thing to a brother he’d ever known.

“So, what you’re saying is that if I’d been a better friend, this wouldn’t have happened. Is thatright?”

Alan sighed. “What I’m saying is that you’ve chosen the person you want to spend the rest of yourlife with. I respect that—really, I do—but it’s impacted some other parts of your relationships.They’re really just growing pains, I’m sure, but please don’t make it sound like I’m the one whobetrayed you by bringing the one person who’s really been there for me these last few weeks to awork function.”

Liam opened his mouth to speak, but when nothing came out, he closed it again. His jaw workedfor a few more seconds before he turned on his heel, pressed past the couple, and walked back intothe ballroom.

Alan sighed as he watched his friend walk away. He had a sinking feeling that he probablyshouldn’t have said any of that...

Catarina put a hand on his shoulder as she tried to catch his eye, and Alan got a whiff of her faint,floral perfume. “That must have been difficult.”

“The hardest,” Alan admitted after a long moment.“This does not mean you should not have said.” There was a look in her eye that hinted how well

she understood his predicament. “You did well.”

THE RIDE HOME GREW tense with both Catarina and Alan quiet on their sides of the car. Alanshifted, uncomfortable as he looked around the vehicle.

Despite a few different car fresheners hanging from the vents, the car smelled musty and faintly ofexhaust. He should have just bucked up and rented a car instead of taking her to the event in his oldcar. He was only a few months away from being able to buy a new vehicle, assuming this one held outthat long. Unfortunately, that felt like a flimsy excuse for making Catarina drive in this lemon of a car.

It wasn’t until they parked in the spot beside her black sedan that Alan turned the engine off andlooked at her. “I promised you that if you wanted out of the deal, we could talk about it after dinner.

Now, it’s after dinner, so I guess we can have this talk.”Catarina rested her hands in her lap. “Yes. This talk.”Alan shifted in his seat so he could face her more fully. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to

get out of this deal. The more I think about it, I benefit a lot more from it than you do, and that’s notfair.”

“Is not true.”“Yes, it is.” Alan was gentle as he countered her. Then, he scratched at his beard with his one

hand. “I didn’t intend for it to be that way, but it kind of is. So, if you want to cut loose and run, Iwould totally understand.”

Catarina just stared at him. “What did you say?”Alan ran his hands over the thighs of his pants, trying to dry them of the sweat that accumulated

there. “I said I wouldn’t blame you if you want to get out of this deal.”She shook her head. “After that.”He frowned. “That if you want to cut loose and run, I would totally understand? I would never

hold you back just because having you around was more convenient for me.”She looked confused by his comment.“At one time, I knew someone. He—” Whatever it was she thought about was unpleasant from the

way she wrinkled her face to think about it. “Every time he did something for me, he made sure Iknew how lucky I was to have someone as generous as him around.”

“That sounds hard.”She shrugged like it was something she was used to. Which broke his heart. No one should be

used to that kind of treatment. “At first, I thought he was telling truth. He was rich. Powerful. Hadgood connections. He liked me. Helped make my dreams come true.”

Catarina picked at her cuticles though they looked professionally manicured. He doubted therewas anything left to pick at. “Only after I knew the kind of man he was did I start pretending to lovehim.”

Alan gave her a rueful smile. “I wondered where you learned to be such a good actress. I shouldhave guessed.”

She looked back up at him. “My point in bringing this up is that you admit when you think you areselfish or when you are behaving badly. I respect this.”

Disappointment curdled in Alan’s gut as he finished what he suspected she was trying to say butwas too polite to do so. “But not enough to pretend to be my girlfriend at Liam’s wedding.”

He turned back to the front of the vehicle, as if he were preparing to drive it again. “I get it.Totally understand. You want to live your truth.”

She muttered a curse word under her breath, one he couldn’t decipher. Maybe it was in her nativetongue.

Before he knew it, her fingers were on his cheek, guiding him to look at her. “Maybe I do not haveright words to say this, but I will still try. There is chance that by knowing me you will be hurt. Icannot tell you more than this, though I wish I could.”

Alan pondered her statement, not wanting to seem too passionate about refuting her claim.Anything other than a cool, level head might lead to her shutting down, emotionally. “Well, let’s lookat this logically. Give me percentages. How likely is it that you—or I—could be discovered andtherefore put in danger?”

Catarina apparently had to think for a moment. “I am unsure.”Alan nodded as he took the risk to reveal all his suppositions about her past. “I’m going to assume

that because you met Liam on some undisclosed mission—”“I never said—”“You didn’t have to.” Alan hardly paused to take a breath, afraid that if he let her interrupt too

often, he’d lose his nerve. “If you met Liam on an undisclosed mission, then someone is protectingyou. Maybe the Air Force. Maybe someone else. DIA or CIA.”

“You know more about American military than you admit,” Catarina whispered as she slumped inthe front seat.

Alan didn’t react. “It’s not hard once you know the players to figure a few things out. Anyway,let’s get back to the question at hand: what’s the likelihood that I could get hurt because you and Iknow each other. There are fifty states in the country, and frankly, there are a lot of countries thatmight be willing to scoop up a Russian asset.”

She grew paler and paler as he spoke, and though his heart went out in sympathy for her, it wasevidence that he was moving in the right direction. “Stop.”

“Just a minute longer. The odds of someone finding you with a physical search are next to none.So, finding you on the internet or through the asset database would be their best bet, and those areseriously encrypted.”

Catarina gripped the armrest. “Stop talking, Alan.”Her use of his name was the thing that kept him from going even further. Instead, he gave her a

serious expression. “All I’m saying, Catarina, is that the risk is minimal. Frankly, there’s a betterchance that you’ll be transferred at the first sign of trouble than that I’ll get hurt, and if that happens,we can tell everyone that you got a new job and moved out of the state.”

“But—” She seemed to want to speak, but even after a few moments, she didn’t seem to have theright words.

Alan took her hands in his. “Catarina, if the reason you’re against this is because you don’t wantto pretend the way you had to pretend for your ex, then I respect that. But if you’re going to tell methat the only reason you don’t want to pretend to be my girlfriend is because you think you’re going toget me killed—well, I call BS.”

She raised an eyebrow. “BS?”He didn’t expound the words that stood for the initials. Just moved onto the phrase’s meaning.

“I’m saying I don’t believe you. I’m saying that maybe you’re scared of trusting someone after yourex, and so you’re taking this idea that I could get hurt at the end of all this and blowing it out ofproportion.”

Catarina’s eyes hinted that she had something more to say, but she stayed silent.Guilt pricked his conscience with the way he’d cut her off, and he gestured toward her again.

“Now, I’m sorry. I stopped you before you had a chance to speak. I hate doing that, and I’ll try not todo it in the future, but I couldn’t let you talk me out of this again.”

There was doubt in her eyes. “Why? What do you want to take this risk?”“If you’ve been through what I think you’ve been through, you must be feeling pretty alone.

Especially after Liam tried to get you to break up with me.” He sighed. “I may not have been throughwhat you have, but I do know what it feels like to be alone. So, I’ll leave you with this. Not thisSaturday but next, there’s an Audrey Hepburn film festival at Kimball’s.”

He’d read about that in an article online just a few hours ago. He’d planned on asking her to comeanyway, but this presented him with just the right opportunity. “She reminds me a bit of you. Foreign.Tall, willowy. Strong but compassionate. Funny but a little sad. Stunningly gorgeous butapproachable.”

There was that funny feeling in the pit of his stomach as he watched her for her response.Something like a cross between anxiety and pure ecstacy. Pleasure burst inside him as she blushed.

He didn’t know a woman who wouldn’t love to be compared to Audrey Hepburn, but this had theadded bonus of being completely true. The slender Catarina was as graceful in person as AudreyHepburn was on the screen. It was one of Alan’s favorite things about her.

Instead of indulging that line of thought, however, he cleared his throat. “Anyway, if you want tostay in this fake relationship so you don’t have to spend your days and nights alone in your apartment,call me. If you stand me up, that’ll be our shorthand that either you’re done with me, or you’ve beenrelocated, and there’s no point in trying to find you.”

Catarina raised an eyebrow. “And you will not worry?”“I only promised we wouldn't get personal.” Alan wondered for the tenth time why he’d agreed to

such a stipulation. “I never promised I wouldn't worry.”Catarina reached for the door handle. “Some people might say we are merely delaying what must

happen someday.”“I think the idiom is delaying the inevitable.” Alan reached a hand to her cheek, but instead of

lingering there, he just brushed one of her curls behind her ear. “As for what’s inevitable, thosepeople think this is real, so the joke’s on them, right?”

He could almost hear Catarina’s heart pounding—or maybe, that was wishful thinking on his part,that her heart would echo his own.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Liam getting out of his truck and heading towardCassie’s apartment.

Alan had every reason to tell Catarina they needed to fake a kiss. Every reason to enjoy themoment he’d been thinking about ever since the notion had first presented itself a few hours earlier.

But Liam never turned toward them, and Alan didn’t press his luck. “So, I guess this is goodnight.”

She must have noticed Liam out of the corner of her eye as well because she looked from theapartment complex and back to Alan, thinking. Then, when the Air Force officer was gone, shesighed. “Yes. Good night, Alan. Sweet dreams.”

He choked back a comment about having sweet dreams if they were about her. There was noreason to make her feel like he was trying too hard with some cheesy pick up line, even if the day’sevents did seem to suggest that the sentiment was true. “Same to you. Hopefully, I’ll see you nextSaturday.”

She didn’t commit to an emotion as she waved a few fingers his direction in goodbye. “Yes.Saturday. For the film.”

The fact that her expression wasn’t any less troubled at the thought of seeing him again didn’tbode well, but he forced a smile anyway. “Sleep well.”

ALAN PACED OUTSIDE Kimball’s Independent Movie Theater downtown nearly a week and a halflater, blowing into his hands to keep them warm. It was deceptively sunny, with bright blue skies andbarely above freezing temperatures. As a California native, he normally darted inside on days liketoday, but since he hadn't heard from Catarina about the movie, he'd opted to stay outside until the lastpossible moment.

He probably should have just stayed home, but part of him hoped that even if she had her doubtsthat she would show up.

He checked his watch, and his heart sank. The film would start in just a few minutes. Barely longenough to buy tickets and take his seat before the opening scenes of Sabrina played on the oversizedscreen.

There wasn’t even time to get popcorn or snacks. Not that they’d help with his melancholy mood.He walked up to the ticket counter and purchased one ticket. Back to the days when he had to

assume he would be on his own when he wanted to do anything. He should join some kind ofbasketball club at the Y or something.

He let himself relax into his seat as the movie began, too familiar with the loneliness that creptover him. He’d done his best. There was nothing to regret now.

There was a scuffle in the aisle just as Sabrina started her French cooking classes.Alan tried to ignore it and focus on the movie until he realized that the commotion was traveling

toward him.When he finally looked over, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Climbing over the half dozen people

between them was the dark-haired Ukrainian he’d been waiting for. “You made it.”She sat in the nearest empty seat and crossed one lengthy leg over the other. “I am late.”With a relief that couldn’t possibly mean what he thought it did, he took her hand and squeezed

gently. “Doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re here.”

ALAN COULDN’T STOP smiling through the rest of the film. Especially when Catarina lifted thearmrest between them and dropped her cheek to his shoulder. He tightened his hold on her, feelingmore content with life than he had in a long time.

Apparently, the solution to all his loneliness and relationship trust issues had been to find ahimself a fake girlfriend.

Who knew?She sniffled as Humphrey Bogart and Audrey Hepburn met on the boat to Paris, curling closer to

Alan as the film came to its resolution.She was pensive as they exited the theater, and though Alan wanted to invite her to get ice cream

with him or something afterward, he was hesitant to disrupt her thoughts. “Everything okay?”Catarina looked over with a scrutinizing look. “This film. You think you are Linus.”Not the most flattering statement, but she wasn’t wrong. “Yeah. I guess. Steady, dependable... Not

quite as good looking. Fits me to a tee.”“You think Liam is David.”Alan cleared his throat, not sure he wanted to talk about the man who was likely his former friend

by now. They hadn’t spoken in days... Not even at work though there wasn’t much call for a flightinstructor to consult a psych professor on a daily basis. “Where are you going with this?”

She tugged his arm around her shoulders, and he felt instantly warmer as they combined their bodyheat against the thirty-something degree wind. “You think you are not romantic. You find yourselfboring by comparison.”

“Maybe.”She sighed. “Some women learn how to find simple things attractive. Truthfulness. Loyalty.Kindness. Compassion. All are qualities I have seen in you.”“Are you saying you’re not pretending to be my girlfriend for the washboard abs?” He gestured to

his generous waistband with a teasing smile. Anything to relieve the vulnerability of her questions.Her demeanor lightened as if she appreciated the joke, but she didn’t laugh. “You do not look like

Liam, but if we only saw people who looked like him, would they look beautiful or plain?”Alan shifted. “You don’t have to try to make me feel better about my looks, Catarina. I’m more

than comfortable with my ordinary-ness.”Catarina’s smile fell, and she stopped so he’d have to look at her. “You say that if I did not look

like supermodel, you would have wanted to know me. Why?”Alan’s ears felt warm. If he was totally honest, he wasn’t sure he would have. It was just

something one could say to beautiful women so they didn’t feel self-conscious about why they werechosen. The hypocrisy of that thought made him squirm. “Uh, because you’re kind, thoughtful, andyour eyes seemed to tell me that you had an interesting story.”

“Can the same not be true of you? Can those things not make you more physically alluring than youthink you are?”

Alan scratched at his beard as he thought. “I mean, technically, I guess...”She seemed satisfied that her job was through. “You have own charm. You do not look like Liam,

but that is not bad thing.”“Variety being the spice of life and all that,” he said, trying to follow her train of thought.“Precisely.”Then, after a long moment, Catarina spoke again. “Besides, you forget important thing about film.”“What’s that?”There was a secret smile in Catarina’s eyes as she looked at him. “Linus finds love, too.”For the first time in years, Alan felt something resembling hope when it came to his relationship

status. “Thanks for the reminder.”Catarina’s eyes sparkled in the sunlight as she nodded. “Anytime.”They passed by a bakery, and even outside, the shop smelled like vanilla and cinnamon and

baking bread. It was all his favorite scents from childhood from the days when his mother would fillthe kitchen counters each year with sweet and spicy Christmas cookies she intended to give to all theneighbors. Even in March, the memory made the scent happier than it had any right to be as Alanrecalled being his mother’s right-hand man during her baking, laughing with her as they licked thebowl and spoon of the dough they waited for the cookies to finish baking.

What was strange, however, was that the feeling wasn’t altogether new. He’d already beenfeeling happy and satisfied.

He looked at his companion, presumably the reason for that already happy mindset. “I know thisisn’t a real date since we’re just pretending for the sake of the wedding, but Liam’s probably nevergoing to speak to me, and frankly I’ll be a little surprised if there’s still a wedding after this...”

Catarina interrupted him with a shake of her head. “It will be all right. You will see.”Though he hadn’t said what he wanted to say, he looked at her, confused. “How do you know

that?”Catarina pointed across the street to where Cassie and Liam walked down the street.Though the couple wasn’t as close as they’d been just a few days earlier, they were clearly going

somewhere together. Alan didn’t wait to hear what Catarina had to say. Just crossed the street wherehe was and held his hand up to stop the two cars that might have hit him if he hadn’t signalled hisintention.

“Cassie. Liam.”The couple turned in unison toward him, and Alan gave a tiny wave. It felt so stupid in light of

everything that had happened at the Air Force dinner, but it was the best he could do. “How’re youguys doing?”

Liam put an arm around Cassie’s shoulder and pulled her closer. “We’re fine, but we’re runninglate for an appointment.”

Cassie didn’t pull away from Liam, but she didn’t lean into the embrace like she might havebefore the ill-fated dinner. Instead, she turned to Catarina, who Alan just realized had followed himacross the street. “Good to see you again, neighbor. Remind me when we all get back home that Ihave an extra bag of flour for you.”

Catarina straightened, but it didn’t seem to be out of pride. It seemed to be a reaction to Cassie’sstatement. “Flour?”

“I lent her flour for breadsticks. Was long time ago.”“Yes.” Cassie’s tone was clipped. “I’ve been busy, and I finally got around to replacing it.”Numbness settled over Alan like a cloud as he read the other couple. “I take it my invitation to be

best man has been rescinded.”Liam didn’t wait long before he spoke again. “I was going to ask Declan, but with Cassie asking

her sister to be the matron of honor, it didn’t make sense. So, I asked you.”Though Alan suspected it wasn’t true, that didn’t make the insinuation that he’d been second

choice here, too, any less difficult to bear. “What changed?”“Aiden’s shown in the last few days that he’s really responsible. I think Declan and Marissa can

handle double-duty if he’s willing to help with the other kids.”“Well, I’m glad to hear that you’ve got all the help you need. I—I wish you both well.” Alan

stepped away from Catarina, feeling once more unprepared to handle his own human relationships. Ifhe was his own patient, he’d have some great advice, but it all seemed to fizzle whenever he tried tohelp himself.

Then, because he apparently couldn’t stop himself from explaining further, he continued. “Youknow, when I said all that stuff at the Academy, I wasn’t trying to say I didn’t want to be friends. I justneeded to clear the air about some things that hurt me. Things we could easily work together to fix.But if you’re that against my new relationship, then maybe it is best that we go our separate ways.”

Alan took Catarina’s hand in his, though the action gave him very little comfort. For reasons hedidn’t entirely understand, he was being asked to trade his real friendship with Liam for a fakerelationship with Catarina. Not that he really had a choice in the matter. It was being decided for him,and he felt powerless to combat it.

“You two should come for brunch next Sunday.”Alan’s head snapped up as Cassie called after them.Liam whispered to his fiancée, but she raised a hand to stop him as Alan and Catarina

backtracked. “You’re right, Alan. We’ve been lousy friends the last few weeks, and instead offighting with each other about our apparently very real issues, we’ve been taking it out on you. Whichis incredibly childish.”

Alan glanced over at Liam, searching the officer’s stoic face for some sign that he was onboardwith this. Not that with his current emotional shields up, Alan would get anything more than a double-blink in the sun to suggest that he was uncomfortable.

“I will bring my mother’s varenyky.” Catarina’s voice was timid from beside Alan, but thegesture made Alan grateful for the woman at his side. No matter how temporary it was that she wouldstay there. “Sweet and savory.”

Alan didn’t wait for Liam to agree. Just wrapped one hand around Catarina’s waist as he pulledher close. “Then, I guess we’ll see you then.”

Liam’s eyes didn’t betray anything of what he might have been feeling. “Cassie will text the

details when we get closer. Just so there’s no mixup.”As the couple turned back in the direction of their intended destination, Alan sighed. As if she

could sense how he was feeling, Catarina rubbed his back as they stood there on the street andwatched his friends walk away. “It will be all right. Varenyky fixes everything.”

Not even Catarina’s attempt at humor could make Alan feel better. “I sure hope so,” he whisperedas he turned back to her. “At this point, I think it’ll take a miracle to fix things.”

“Then, is good thing my varenyky are made of secret family recipe.” She looped her arm throughhis as they walked back toward the theater to get their cars.

With a reluctant smile at her levity and confidence, Alan leaned over and kissed her temple.“What would I do without you?”

C

Chapter Eight

Catarinaatarina had to smile a week later as Alan brought four bags of groceries into her apartment.“What are you expecting to do tomorrow morning? Feed an army?”

She took two of the bags and placed them on the kitchen counter. “You do not know deliciousnessof varenyky. You will learn.”

“You never explained what this varenyky thing is.”Catarina came around the counter and shook her head. “Is not var-nee-kee. Is var-eh-ni-key.”Alan tried to wrap his tongue around the word. “Var-eh-ni-key.”She clapped, more pleased in this moment than she’d been almost in all the time she’d been in

America. “Good.”Alan beamed as he helped unload the groceries. “So, what is it?”“Is dumpling from Ukraine.” She pulled out the jar of sauerkraut and the can of blueberry

preserves, both of which she would use to create the fillings for her savory and sweet varenyky.Lemons. Potatoes. Sour cream. Kefir. Onions. Catarina was sure Alan would be confused by the

number of ingredients she planned to use. Not together, of course, but in two separate batches.Alan folded the paper bags he’d emptied and set them on the counter, away from the food. Then,

he looked down at the plates she’d already wrapped with plastic. “What about these?”She looked to where he was pointing. “Ah, those. That is khrustyky.”He frowned. “Hroo-sli-key?”“Very good.” She reached for one of the plates of fried cookies dusted in powdered sugar. “For

that, you may have taste.”“I think I like this game,” Alan said as she presented the unwrapped plate for him.He took one of the twisted cookies and took a bite. His eyes closed as if he were exceptionally

pleased with the fried dough. “These are perfection. Where’d you learn to bake like this?”A pang of homesickness threatened to disrupt her joy, but Catarina let it come and go without

giving it a place to grow. “My mother and grandmother insisted that I learn the old recipes before Icould marry.”

“So, what? On your eighteenth birthday, you got cooking lessons?”Catarina bit back a smile as she shook her head. “My preparation started much younger. I was just

child when Mother told me that good wives in my family were also good cooks.”Alan’s eyebrows shot up. “You’ve been preparing to get married since you were just a kid?”“You sound like I was raised to be child bride.” Catarina teased.“No, of course not. It just seems—I don’t know—a little different than what I was exposed to.” She liked the way he rambled when he got nervous, but she didn’t think he would appreciate the

comment. Given the fact that these varenyky were for a brunch they would be having with Liam andCassie the next morning, it probably wasn’t wise that she press the issue. “My mother andgrandmother loved being wives and mothers,” she explained. “Is only natural they should prepare mefor what they thought would be my greatest joy.”

“Is that what you think would be your greatest joy? Marriage? Kids?”Though it was an intensely personal question, she didn’t bat it away like she had so many before.

“I do not know. I would like to believe—”

She didn’t want to admit the longing for family that sometimes came along with those whispers ofhomesickness. That her arms felt empty without children.

Unfortunately, with her terrible relationship record, she wasn’t likely to get them. It was why shehad been grateful when the gym had approached her about doing children’s ballet classes in the fall.Perhaps that would help quell the ache that reared its head now and again.

She shrugged off the questions and turned back to her task, getting out the flour and preparing thedumpling dough.

Without pressing her for a more complete answer, Alan gestured to her work. “Do you want anyhelp with that?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You wish to help?”He shrugged. “We’re supposed to be pretending we’re dating, right? If I’m going to be macho

enough to bring up the ingredients, I should probably also be willing to help make the suckers.”She gestured for him to join her on the other side of the counter. “We start by making dough. Is

like Italian ravioli a little. Or like Polish pierogi. Flat dough outside. Delicious filling inside. Youunderstand?”

“Isn’t this going to be a lot of work?”Catarina nudged his shoulder with her own, more comfortable in her skin than she had been since

before she’d met Pyotr. “I did not ask for help, Alan. Is not problem if you sit and watch.”Alan shook his head. “Sorry. I wasn’t complaining. It’s just that my mom made lasagna with store

bought noodles one time when I was a kid, and she swore up and down she would never do thatagain.”

Catarina walked him through how to combine the ingredients to create the dough, and then how toroll it out thin enough to make the outside of the dumplings. As she began working on the sauerkrautand potato filling, she turned to him. “Tell me of your mother.”

Alan shrugged. “What’s there to tell? She’s probably the best woman I’ve ever known.”It made her heart happy to hear him speak so lovingly of his mother.“I don’t talk about it a lot, but my mom was only about seventeen when she had me... An

unexpected prom party favor.”The way he spoke of his beginning helped her understand why it was so difficult for him to think

well of himself. He thought he’d been a mistake, even before his birth.“My mom and dad split up when she got pregnant with me. Apparently, he’d been a high school

senior who flipped out when she told him. But Mom didn’t sit around and complain. No, she got herGED. Got a job. She had supportive parents, so it’s not like she didn’t get some good help when Iwas little. Then, when I was about ten, she met Gary. Technically, he’s my stepdad, but he’s the onlydad I’ve ever known.”

As had been the case when Catarina had been a child with something on her mind baking with hermother, Alan’s story poured out of him as he rolled out the dough to the right thickness.

Only after he’d told the story did he stand back, his brow furrowed. “I don’t think I’ve even toldLiam that.”

“Varenyky is magic, no?” Catarina put one hand on her Alan’s as she offered him a gentle smile.“Thank you for trusting me with your story. Your mother and stepfather sound like good people.”

Alan’s features were peaceful as his green eyes met hers. “They are.”Catarina gestured to the dough which was now rolled to the proper width. “Now, we fill

dumplings.”Alan eyed the three bowls of filling. One blueberry and lemon dessert filling. One traditional

potato and cheese filling. A third sauerkraut filling. “How are we going to keep from mixing themup?”

Catarina laughed. “We only make one kind at once.”She caught that look of affection in Alan’s eye that had struck her at the gala. “What?”He shook his head. “I like this side of you. The domestic diva. You’re happy.”“I love who I am and where I come from.” She shrugged as she started to fill and fold the

dumplings. “There are hard days, yes, but I can still find joy.”Her heart quickened as she considered telling him the reason she’d started finding more joy in her

surroundings. She didn’t want Alan to worry that he had been leading her on. She remembered thattheir arrangement was not romantic. That did not mean he was not helping her learn to love her newlife as much as she had once loved her old one.

Instead of saying any of that, however, she filled another dumpling with the sauerkraut mixture.“How do you feel about brunch tomorrow?”

Alan followed her lead, apparently not interested in telling her about his feelings. His fingerswere not as familiar with the action of folding the dumplings, and so the ones he made looked a littlemore misshapen than hers. For a first-timer, however, he was doing quite well.

Only once did she reach over and guide his fingers through the folding action. Which she wouldn’thave done if his filling was starting to slip out through the seams.

Then, after several moments of quiet work had passed, Alan sighed. “You’d think that as apsychologist, I’d know how to fix this. How to advocate for myself and still keep my friendship withLiam.”

Catarina was tempted to speak a question in the silence, but her intuition whispered to let himthink aloud a little longer.

Alan’s fingers stopped, and he looked up into the room. “Actually, I think I might have justdeveloped a theory on why there’s tension. I wish I’d seen it before because it would have madethings so much easier.”

“What is your theory?” As she fell into a rhythm of folding the varenyky, Catarina found it easierto speak with Alan.

He turned to her without picking up another dumpling. “We met when he was mourning hissister’s death. I’ve been trying to figure out what it was that made him think he had to take care of me,but I think this may be a classic case of transference.”

Catarina raised an eyebrow, but before she could ask the meaning of the word, he continued.“Transference is the process of projecting your feelings about one person to another. Maybe thereason we’ve been struggling is because he’s been trying to protect me the way he wished he couldhave protected Angie.”

Then, he looked at her, his eyes wide with wonder. “I think you’re right. Varenyky is magic.”She just smiled the way her mother used to. “I told you.”

“YOU READY FOR THIS?”Catarina inhaled sharply as she held the plate of cookies before her. She hadn’t admitted it to

Alan, but the only reason she’d had khrustyky had been because she’d awoken one morning with agripping need to bake a peace offering for this brunch.

Her mind raced through everything she wished she could say, not only to Cassie but also to Alan.To explain that what had happened five years ago between Liam and Catarina had been less a

relationship and more a tender memory. A story that felt like a dream after everything had come laterof a naïve young woman a little more than twenty-two who had found a wounded American soldieroutside her ballet class. Of a man nearly ten years her senior who had tried to express his gratitude toher the best he knew how when he regained consciousness in her gentle care.

That the extraction trip to Russia which had cut Liam’s vacation short hadn’t been to rescue an oldflame but to settle a debt. How when she’d innocently tried to kiss Liam in gratitude for whisking heraway from Pyotr, the Air Force officer had turned his cheek and put a hand out to stop her. Thenexplained that he’d given his heart to someone else.

But such an explanation was impossible. Even acknowledging that they’d met on a missionseemed to skirt too close to spilling the official secrets that Liam was bound to protect.

If only she could come up with a way to put Cassie’s mind at ease...“Catarina?”She looked over at Alan, realizing she’d gotten lost in her thoughts. “Yes?”“Are you ready?”She bobbed her head and knocked on the door as he balanced the containers of varenyky in his

hands, each sporting a small piece of tape that indicated what filling was within.The door opened after a moment, and Cassie greeted them with a tense smile. “Hi. Thanks for

coming.”Catarina nodded as she handed the plate of cookies to her hostess. “Thank you for inviting us.”“Liam, they’re here.” Cassie closed the door behind them, then waved to the kitchen. “Alan, you

can put those in the kitchen next to the frittata and waffles.”Catarina looked around the apartment with awe. Photographs hung on the wall with such depth

and beauty that she almost felt like she was at their locations. One of the photographs was particularlystunning with a wall of white ice coming out of a sea of glass and against a background of purplemountains.

Without a second thought, she walked toward it, mesmerized. “Where did you get thisphotograph?”

Cassie walked up to her after putting the plate of cookies on the kitchen peninsula. “Liam took itwhile we were in Alaska, actually.”

Catarina’s eyes widened. “Liam. An artist...”Despite the fact that the woman with the red-blonde hair probably didn’t want to like her, Cassie

smiled. “You’d be surprised how often we get that comment when people see his photographs for thefirst time. He’s actually got quite an eye.”

“You say that like you’re surprised.”The women turned at the sound of the baritone voice as Liam walked into the room. He wrapped

an arm around Cassie’s waist and gave her a quick kiss.Almost at the same time, Alan came up to stand beside Catarina. His hand touched the small of

her back, though he did not kiss her. “Liam.”“Barrows.”The tension between the four adults grew almost unbearable before Cassie spoke. “What do you

say we get the food dished up? Catarina, how do you want me to serve the—what did you bringagain?”

Though she answered Cassie’s question, Catarina’s attention was focused in on the men as shewalked into the kitchen. She hoped that Alan would find the right way to help build his friendshipback up.

IT FELT LIKE ALMOST no time at all had passed before they were sitting across from one anotherat the rectangular dinner table.

“Catarina insists that varenyky is magic,” Alan said as he dished up some of the sweet dumplingsand passed the dish to the right. “I was only there to help make the things, but I can tell you she’sright. She got secrets out of me I had almost forgotten existed. So, you might want to watch out in caseI spill a few more.”

Though Liam’s smile was easy, his manner was tense. “Sounds like the perfect thing to use ifwe’re interrogating dissidents.”

“Is not about the food,” Catarina defended as the others in the party shifted. “Is about relationship.Is gentle, rhythmic state that helps people to relax. Alan talked to me when he was rolling dough andfolding dumplings. Is like meditation.”

Cassie passed the varenyky to Liam. “Catarina, these look delicious. I’m amazed you had the timeto make them all by hand. With my hours at the hospital, I’m lucky to make something as simple asspaghetti with marinara.”

The surgeon’s neck flushed red. “In fact, if I’m completely honest, I ordered the frittata and Liammade the waffles.”

Liam passed the varenyky to Catarina, then took his fiancée’s hand. “I’m trying to convince her tolet me make waffles on Sunday mornings after we get married. Kind of a family tradition. You know,like Dad and the kids make breakfast on Sundays while Mom gets to sleep in.”

Cassie laughed. “You never said anything about letting me sleep in on Sundays. As long as that’strue, I’m in.”

The image of Sunday mornings was so evocative for Catarina that she could almost imaginecooking like she had the day before with a couple of children at her elbows. A little girl with goldencurls and a thousand questions. A little boy with a bright smile and sharp wit. Laughter as fingerfulsof flour were flung from one side of the counter to the other. The inevitable hugs and kisses which shewould descend upon her children as they grinned.

Alan’s hand warmed hers and pulled her back to the present moment. “You okay?”She nodded as she squeezed his hand back. “Of course.”“Sounds like you two have your life pretty much planned out.” Alan turned his attention to the

engaged couple.Cassie’s shoulders tensed. “Not everything.”Liam’s lips thinned as he set his fork on his plate and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Yes. When

exactly are we planning to get married, Cass?”Catarina stole a glance at Alan as the other couple argued. From the way Alan tried not to look at

the bickering adults, he was just as uncomfortable as she was.Cassie clenched the stem of her wine glass. “So we really have to discuss this right now?”Liam didn’t seem ready to back down. “You mean, in front of the woman you think I had an affair

with?”Alan took Catarina's hand. “Look, why don't we let the two of you—”Simultaneously, Cassie and Liam turned to him. “Finish your brunch. We're fine.”Alan took a breath, like he was brave enough to try to talk to them. Catarina wasn't sure that was

wise.“You want assurances that Liam and I are not involved, yes?” The words tumbled out of

Catarina's mouth before she could think twice about them.

Cassie just raised her eyebrows. “As much as I'd like to believe you, I'm going to need somethingmore substantial than just the standard nothing’s going on. Even Dan’s physical therapist tried that.”

“Cassie, I never suggested that they were having an affair,” Alan interjected. “In fact, I told youmy theories when we were at the dinner last week.”

Liam crossed his arms and turned on Alan. “Oh, thank you for that, by the way. It wasn’t hardenough to make her see that I wasn’t the bad guy back in Alaska.”

Alan gaped. “I’m on your side, Liam.”“Well, it sure doesn’t feel like it.” The Air Force officer shot back.Catarina clenched fistfuls of the bright springy tablecloth as the arguments spiraled out of control.

Then, before she could think too much about it, she put her fingers to her mouth and whistled.The whole table fell silent again.She turned to Cassie. “You want proof that I have no romantic designs on your future husband?”Liam scoffed. “How on earth are you supposed to prove that?”She shot him a look that made even the hardened, somewhat cynical Air Force officer back down.Alan leaned toward her. “Are you sure you know what you're doing?”Catarina racked her brain for some evidence she could give to put Cassie's mind at ease. To make

absolutely sure that no one was remotely suspicious that Catarina still had feelings for Liam. Whichafter the other night, Catarina felt that ship had sailed.

Only one idea seemed to fill her mind. One idea that would be much riskier if it wasn't properlyexecuted...

She turned to her fake boyfriend. “I know you do not like to put yourself on display...”Alan frowned. “What are you suggesting?”With a trembling hand, she tugged on his hand, and he stood without a second invitation.

“Catarina?”She leaned in close enough to smell the minty toothpaste in his breath. “Kiss me.”No one but him had heard her whisper, and she pleaded for him to help her.His eyebrows shot so close to his hairline they were nearly invisible, a sure sign that he’d heard

her brazen request. “But we haven't...”She took his hands in hers, willing him to remember the baking the day before. Or the film they'd

seen together. Or the dance. She tried to channel every happy moment they'd shared together into hismind. “Kiss me.”

She couldn't tell who was shaking worse, him or her, when his lips finally touched hers.Unfortunately, she almost didn't register that the kiss had happened because of how quickly Alanpulled back from her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Catarina saw the look of suspicion on both Cassie and Liam’s faces.Not only were they upset with one another and with Alan and Catarina, now they didn't even seemsure that the couple was really dating.

Unwilling to leave the group with the same doubts they'd all come in with, Catarina pressed herfingers to Alan's face and went for a second kiss.

Electricity exploded between them as Alan's inhibitions melted away. One hand wrapped aroundher waist. Another cradled the back of her head in his hand.

Though she may have been the investigator of the kiss, Alan was leading her now. His lipsnipping at hers, changing angles, then coming back for more like he liked the way she tasted. Sheloved its flirtation and playfulness, grateful that like any good dance partner, he seemed only topropose a step before giving her time to accept or decline.

She could taste the sauerkraut on his breath, and she smiled against his lips. Felt the scruff of hisbeard against her cheeks and chin, giving her the slight hint of a rug burn the longer the kiss went on.

With each moment the kiss lingered on, the vision of laughter in the kitchen with two yet unbornchildren sharpened and she could almost hear a familiar male tenor join in on the fun. The tenor she’dheard yesterday while she walked this man she kissed through the process of making varenyky.

With a sharp intake of breath, she pulled away. Then, covered her lips with her hand.Alan quirked his head to the side as he realized she'd ended the kiss. “Catarina?”“Was that supposed to somehow prove that you’re too in love with Alan to have feelings for me?”

Liam squinted at Catarina, apparently unimpressed with the display. “Because I’m not sure you’vemet the burden of proof. No offense...”

Catarina’s knees felt too weak to stand, but she couldn’t stay any longer either. She propelledherself toward the door, for the first time feeling like she couldn’t get her body to respond with graceand dignity.

Everyone stood from around the table as she left, but Alan was the one who caught up to her.“Catarina, stop. Let’s talk about this.”

Overwhelmed with a thousand emotions she couldn’t sort out, Catarina kept moving. She hardlyhad time to turn to her hosts. “I am sorry, but I cannot stay...”

Cassie nodded as if she understood, and Catarina didn’t wait to hear what Liam had to say. Shejust scurried out the door and across the hall.

“Catarina, please.” Alan was quick on her heels.With her back against the door to her apartment, Catarina turned to face him. “This was mistake.”“A mistake?” Alan seemed to have trouble processing the emotions Catarina volleyed at him.

“That kiss was incredible.”Even now, just thinking about that kiss and the way she might have melted in his arms made

Catarina’s heart race in panic. “Liam is right. Is not safe for you.”“We covered that.”She reached for the door knob behind her, scrambling for some reason that Alan needed to walk

away now and never look back. Anything to keep her from falling more in love with him than shealready had. Anything to keep from playing the fool a third time. “Please, Alan, I cannot...”

She found the door knob and turned it, opening the door to her home.Apparently, stunned with the suddenness of her rejection, Alan stayed on his side of the door.

“Catarina, let’s talk about this. That kiss was intense. I’m sure it brought up a few feelings that you’drather not deal with right now, but I know we can walk through it together.”

It took every ounce of willpower Catarina had to close the door. Only then did Catarina sink tothe floor, her back against the door, and cry.

A

Chapter Nine

Alanlan tapped the door with a fist. He alternated between wishing that he had the courage andstrength to blast through it and feeling somewhere in his gut that Catarina wouldn’t appreciate

the display of power. Not if it was used to violate her privacy.He’d been nervous to attend this brunch in the first place, but he hadn’t prepared himself for this

outcome. No, after yesterday’s cooking adventure, he’d been sure that the relationship that wouldcrumble before his eyes would have been the friendship he had with Liam.

“Is she okay?”Alan turned to find Cassie behind him, her eyes warm with sympathy. He shrugged, dejected.

“She won’t talk to me. Something about that kiss spooked her, but she won’t tell me what it is.”Then, when Cassie didn’t speak, he continued. “You saw how that went down, right? Did I do

something wrong? I mean, she kissed me.”Cassie reached up and gave him a hug. “I’m not sure what happened back there, Alan, but I don’t

think it was anything you did.”He returned the hug with lukewarm enthusiasm. “Thanks.”Liam walked out the door, his hands in the pockets of his khakis. “How are you holding up?”Alan flicked his gaze up to his friend, unsure of what to expect in this moment. “Well, given the

fact that this is the longest relationship I’ve been in since—well, ever—I’m not that great right now.”Then, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice, he added, “But at least I’ll be safe, right?”“I know this isn’t the way you wanted everything to go down.” Liam’s voice was gentle, like he

didn’t actually want Alan hurt like this. “But I can’t deny that I’ll sleep better if this really is the endof your relationship.”

“Because you’re jealous?” Alan glanced over at Cassie, a little surprised when the surgeoninterrupted.

Liam ran a hand through his hair. “Of course not. Under any other circumstances, I’d be thrilled.It’s just—” He sighed heavily. “It was a mistake for Catarina to acknowledge me in the hallway thatday and for me to return the greeting. It was a mistake for Catarina to live in this apartment building,frankly. Maybe that’s just my Air Force training which apparently you both hate me for, but there itis.”

Alan shook his head as he looked away from Liam and back at Cassie. “Look, I’m sorry aboutyour brunch, but I need to go.”

She nodded as if she understood. “If you wait a minute, I can send you with some food.”Alan didn’t even try to pretend he was better than he was. “Don’t bother. I’m not hungry.”Mechanically, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you.”“Liam’s parents are throwing us an engagement party in a couple of weeks. We’d love for you to

come.”Alan shuffled his feet, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched. “I’m not sure I can

imagine myself in a party mood right now. Besides, if Declan’s the best man at your wedding, youwon’t really need me.”

Liam cleared his throat. “Look, maybe I was a bit hasty about that best man business. Thewedding probably won’t be for another year or two, so you can come to the party if you want. No

need for us to make any hasty decisions about the wedding party.”Alan felt hollow enough inside that he didn’t react to Liam’s olive branch. He sighed as he looked

up at his friend. “I’ll think about it.”Without another word to his friends, he turned to the exit. He didn’t even remember as he made

his way to the car whether he had brought a jacket or coat. Frankly, he didn’t care. He just wanted togo home, lay on the couch, run his hands absently over Rochester’s belly, and pretend like today hadall been just one really bad dream.

He certainly didn’t want to think about going to the wedding alone... Not after he’d worked sohard to arrange things so he’d have a fake girlfriend to take the pressure off.

He could almost still taste Catarina on his lips. Feel the way she tucked herself in close as shekissed him. It had been the best kiss of his life, and not a minute after she ended it, it seemed theywere through.

The knowledge of that made a lump swell in his throat, the way it had when he was a little boyand he wanted to cry.

This felt like a real breakup. Not some simulation for their friends. But he didn’t know whyeverything had come to such an abrupt stop.

All he knew was that he’d started to see more than just the gorgeous European woman when hesaw her. He saw her quiet dignity. Her gentle spirit. Her kindness and compassion.

His stomach tightened as if to dam up a well of emotions.Even as he drove away, it became clear that he had to find a way to see her again. A way that she

couldn’t refuse to talk to him. A way to prove that he wasn’t going anywhere until he knew what itwas that he’d done wrong.

HE WALKED INTO THE house, just like normal. Let Rochester out of the kennel and received anenthusiastic welcome. Even as the dog slobbered all over his face, however, Alan couldn’t help butremember the human kiss he’d received just an hour earlier. WIth its caring, gentle give and take.

He’d wondered what kissing Catarina would be like several times since meeting her, but now heknew. And it seemed he would never get to do it again.

His heart ached as he scratched Rochester behind the ears, then stood and let the dog out into thebackyard.

With a sigh, Alan picked up the mail and sorted through it. A mailer from the local hardware storewith a coupon of ten dollars off a fifty dollar purchase. A reminder from his dentist to schedule hisannual checkup. An appointment card confirming his eye checkup from the ophthalmologist. Thewater bill. Electric bill. An overdue notice from the local library.

Maybe it was just his mood but it seemed that if he didn’t spend money, no one would care if hedropped off the face of the planet.

Then, he looked at the family picture he had on the fridge door. The one he, his mother, and hisstepfather had taken at Easter last year after going to his mother’s congregation. The same littlecongregation he’d attended since he had been a kid.

Okay, so his mother and stepfather would miss him. His colleagues would wonder what happenedto him, though he doubted they’d spare more than a few thoughts if he gave the proper notice.

Shake it off, Barrows.Alan went back to the sliding glass door as Rochester barked to be let inside again. He knelt in

front of the dog and won another round of licks to the face and beard. “You’re probably the only

living thing who would notice if I just disappeared. Not a pretty thought, is it?”Rochester whined, sympathetically.Alan’s thoughts went back to the last time he’d felt like this. He’d worried before the Air Force

dinner, but he hadn’t felt like he wouldn’t be missed. He wondered if it had been the night Liam hadstood him up...

Except that didn’t seem right, either. Catarina had been there and by the end of the night, thingshad been looking up.

Had it been Valentine’s Day? When Alan had been summarily dismissed from an invited brunch?No, Catarina had been there, too.

Alan rubbed his face with one hand. It seemed that the last seriously down day he’d suffered hadcome before her.

Alan swallowed and picked up the phone. With a deep breath, he went back to the voicemails leftby the women from Cassie’s book club. He needed to get back on the horse now, or he would nevereven hope to love again.

“HI. ALAN?” THE DARK-skinned Faye Dunham approached him with her purse dangling in front ofher.

He offered the woman as bright a smile as he could muster. It had been a week since he’d kissedCatarina, and she hadn’t returned his calls in all that time.

Though Liam and Cassie insisted that due to the tensions running in her family, they wouldn’t havethe wedding for at least a year, Alan wanted to get a jump on finding his date for the event. If pastexperience was anything to go by, it would take him that long just to find a woman who could standhis company for the week-long festivities that usually accompanied being a groomsman.

Either that, or Liam would follow through on his threat to ask Declan to be the best man, and Alanwould be off the hook.

Alan helped Faye into her seat at the outdoor café. Things had started to warm up the last fewdays, and it was nice to be outside. Even if Alan spent more time squinting than he did actuallyenjoying the beauty of the day.

“So, tell me about yourself.” Faye’s manner was sweet. Gentle. Maybe Alan had been confusedwhen he thought she’d been the giggler at the Christmas party.

“Uh, not much to tell. I’m a psychology professor at the Air Force Academy with Liam. I seeprivate patients from time to time. I’m originally from California. Only child. I like classic films andsitcoms... I have a dog named Rochester after the male lead in Jane Eyre.”

Her eyes brightened. “Oh, I loved Jane Eyre. I was in a high school English class once, whereone of the other students was saying they didn’t like the book, and I felt almost personally attackedbecause even though she was an imaginary character, she felt like my best friend.”

Alan didn’t say it, but he particularly identified with Mr. Rochester right now. The man who onehand tied behind his back when it came to love, though nobody could figure out what it was.

Instead, he took a sip of his ice water. “It’s a good book. I, uh, read it so I could meet women.”Faye laughed. “How’s that working out for you?”“Not so good, really.” Alan forced himself to chuckle. “My friend things it’s because everyone

thinks I’m gay. You see, apparently the correct number of times for an adult male to read Pride andPrejudice is zero.”

Faye raised an eyebrow in interest. “So, you’re enlightened, then. Good to know. So, are you Mr.

Darcy or Mr. Bingham?”Alan snickered, becoming a little more at ease. “Uh, probably neither. I mean, I’d like to think I’m

a Bingham, but I’m a professor, so I’m probably more like Collins than I’d like to admit.”Faye closed her eyes, though she laughed to ease the disgust on her features. “Take it from me,

Alan Barrows, you are definitely not a Mr. Collins. Not in a million years.”Even as he smiled at her reaction, Alan’s heart wasn’t in the date. Instead, he thought of the

conversation he and Catarina had about him thinking he was Linus in Sabrina. How she reminded himthat Linus found love, too.

What should have been an appreciation of Faye’s kindness had turned into a reminder ofCatarina’s.

Apparently, his problem wasn’t just general loneliness. Apparently, he missed the Ukrainianwoman who had taught him to make varenyky and sent him home with khrustyky, which was now hisfavorite kind of cookie.

“Something on your mind?” Faye asked after they’d given their orders to the server.Alan tried to shake off his thoughts. “Uh, I should warn you that I just broke up with someone last

weekend. So, if you want to run the other direction, I don’t blame you.”Faye’s eyes, which were almost gold in the sunlight, warmed with compassion. “Well, you

haven’t spent the last twenty minutes telling me how I remind you of her, so you’re already better offthan the last date I had.”

Alan winced as he laughed. “That’s terrible.”“Pretty bad,” she agreed with a chuckle of her own. “How about this? We’ll talk. Finish our

drinks. Then, when it’s time to go, we’ll be friends. If after you’ve healed, you want to try this again,we’ll see how we stand at that point.”

Alan bobbed his head in agreement, grateful to be let off the hook when he had clearly not beenready for this date. “Sounds like a plan.”

ALAN COLLECTED THE papers he was going to grade at home, and stuffed them into his briefcase.If there was a silver lining to being alone in the transition between March to April, it was that lifebetween midterms and the end of the semester often kept him busy with projects and grading and ahost of other things.

There was a knock at the door, and Liam poked his head in the door. “Hey, Barrows.”Alan wasn’t sure he wanted to see Liam right now, but he didn’t force the man out of the office.

“What’s up?”Liam walked into the room with his hands in the pockets of his uniform. “You look terrible. Have

you been sleeping?”Alan nearly glared at his friend. “Not really.”He bit back a comment about how Liam had gotten what he wanted. Alan and Catarina had broken

up. She hadn’t even responded to his text messages since their ill-fated brunch.Liam shifted, apparently able to read Alan’s resentment for what it was. “Look, Cassie’s headed

up to Denver. She’s watching Marissa and Declan’s kids this weekend, but I got stuck with a trainingop tomorrow.”

Alan sighed as he looked at his friend. “So?”“So, I owe you a makeup basketball game. Since I technically forfeited, you get a win in our

running competition.”

Alan rolled his eyes as he put the bag on his shoulder. “Not interested.”“I’ll buy the burgers after.”Alan stopped at the door and turned to face his friend. “Look, it’s not your fault what happened

with Catarina. That doesn’t mean that my brain doesn’t have a lot to process there, though.”“I respect that.” Liam seemed sincere about that, at least. “But a wise man once told me it’s not a

good idea to carry one’s burdens alone.”The use of his own advice against him felt like a low blow, but Alan nodded. “Okay, fine. What

time?”“Eighteen hundred hours tomorrow night?”Alan didn’t have an ounce of enthusiasm for the game before he opened the door. “See you then.”Liam stopped before he’d fully left the room. “I’m not going to apologize for wanting you to stay

safe, Alan, but if you’re this miserable, I should remind you that you don’t have to do everything I say.You’re not one of my cadets, and sometimes I need to remember that.”

Alan’s smile was humorless. “Right now, the problem isn’t what you think. It’s what she thinks.And she won’t answer my calls.”

Liam took a long breath before he spoke. “Then, maybe you need to show up where she is... Showher you aren’t going anywhere.”

“How exactly am I going to do that?”Liam’s eyes grew a little mischievous. “I hear she teaches yoga at the gym where you and I play

basketball.”Alan’s expression shifted as a plan formed.As if Liam had done what he’d come to do, the Air Force officer slipped away and let Alan alone

with his thoughts.Yoga class. Alan wasn’t above making a fool of himself to win a woman’s affections. At the very

least, he would get her attention and force her to tell him why she’d kissed him and ran.This could work...

“S

Chapter Ten

Catarinao, let me get this straight. You want me to relocate you because you went to a party where there

was a little fight.” Agent Bethany Smith frowned. “Forgive me if I look a little irritated right now. I’mnot particularly fond of having my time wasted.”

Catarina forced herself to take a sip of chai instead of responding right away. The spicy cinnamontea she’d gotten at the supermarket was oddly calming, giving her senses something else to focus onthan the assumptions Agent Smith had come to. “My safety has been compromised, Agent Smith. Ihave no interest in wasting your time, either.”

Agent Smith’s eyebrows inched closer to her hairline. “Explain how you think this fight in Denvercompromises your safety.”

Another swallow. As well as a wish that she had put something stronger in the tea cup. “I livedown the hall from the fiancée of one of the Air Force officers who rescued me. This is not wise.”

Agent Smith rifled through one of the thick files she had on her lap. “Oh, yes. Dr. CassandraLambert. Apartment 2A. She seems very capable. She’ll be handy in case there’s a medicalemergency.”

Catarina’s stomach turned as she realized just how many dossiers were in the file. “Do you havebackground checks on every resident in this building?”

Agent Smith didn’t dignify her question with a response. “She moved in after you did. Weassessed the situation, and while it is not ideal, we feel that it is not a serious threat. If anything,having Lt. Colonel Liam Harris at hand could improve your security. He knows the actors we’redealing with. He might notice something that you don’t which could be very helpful to all of us.”

Catarina groaned. “You have not informed him that you are relying on him in case there is anemergency. Otherwise, you would know what I know.”

“Which is?”“He is uncomfortable with having me down the hall from someone he cares so deeply for.”Agent Smith closed the file and leaned forward so she could meet Catarina’s gaze more closely.

“And why is he uncomfortable? Do you have an intimate relationship that you both failed todisclose?”

Ice formed in Catarina’s veins. “We were friends a long time ago, but no. We were neverintimate, if I understand what you mean by that.”

Agent Smith seemed to relax a little. “He’s a very attractive man. I wouldn’t blame you if youwanted to get close to him.”

Catarina put her cup of tea back down on the coffee table. “Liam Harris is good man. I have nodoubt of that.”

“But?”“He made it clear that he has reservations about having me live so near the people he cares

about.” The insinuation of Agent Smith’s statement got under her skin. “Trust me. Even if I were kindof person who did not care about breaking another woman’s heart, I have more self-respect than topine after a man who thinks I am dangerous.”

Agent Smith sighed. “Well, the drama of your personal life aside, it’s the DIA’s opinion that ifLiam Harris is uncomfortable with this arrangement, he should be the one nudging his loved ones out

of the apartment. Not us.”She raised her hands in surrender before she started packing back up. “Based on what you’ve

reported, I just can’t see anything so far that would justify the expense of relocation. If you still feelstrongly about relocation, we can probably scout out what you’re thinking, but be warned. Unlesswe’re talking about a relocation based on an imminent threat to your life, that sort of change will takeforever to get approved.”

Catarina frowned. “Then, I am stuck here. In this apartment for rest of my life.”Agent Smith shook her head. “Of course not. You can still live a fairly normal life. You just have

to run any big changes through us. Once they get approved, you can go about your merry little way.”Catarina thought about Alan and of their argument on their way home from the disastrous

engagement party. “What kind of normal life can I have if all I can do is go to work and come home atthe end of the day?”

Agent Smith looked up from packing up, almost surprised by the question. “No one ever said youwere grounded, Ms. Petrovka. You can have friends. Go to the movies. Even date if you want.”

“You do not know Pyotr if you think he will leave innocent alone when hunting me.”Agent Smith put a comforting hand on Catarina’s arm, and it was so unexpected that it almost

made Catarina jump. “What you, and all those people you’re so interested in protecting, don’t seem torealize is just how many threats there are to their lives on a daily basis. I mean, you could slip andfall in the shower. Or you could be in a massive car accident. Or you could catch some highlycommunicable virus and have crippling after effects.”

Catarina sat back against the sofa as she pondered that. “Your bedside manner leaves much to bedesired.”

Agent Smith almost laughed. “All I mean is that we’re running regular background checks on yourcoworkers, the people with gym memberships, and the residents in your building to keep you safe. Aslong as you follow the rules, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to go with friends for a drinkafter work or say yes if someone asks you out. Again, just let us know if there’s any suspiciousactivity, and we’ll follow up from there. Also, use that panic button on your watch, and it will alertthe nearest police station to your presence as well as send us a signal.”

“It sounds as if you have thought all of this through.”There was a snap as the DIA agent closed her briefcase, then stood. “Ms. Petrovka, we are very

good at our jobs, and this isn’t our first rodeo. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be cautious, but the bestway to protect yourself is to act like there’s nothing unusual about your life as much as possible.Again, follow the rules, but relax a little. You’re safe.”

For the first time since she’d met the woman, Bethany Smith seemed human. “And even thoughyou didn’t ask me about dating, trust me when I tell you that your instincts will go a long way totelling you if something’s wrong.”

Catarina walked the agent to the front door. “Have I not proven my instincts are broken? I letPyotr into my life without second thought. Look where this left me.”

Agent Smith hesitated, and there was a hint of understanding in her features which Catarina hadnever seen before. “Everyone has trusted the wrong person somewhere along the way, Ms. Petrovka.That leaves a mark, to be sure, but you’re not broken. You’re just flawed. Like the rest of us.”

Silence reigned as Catarina considered the wisdom in the words. Wondered about theirimplication.

Agent Smith reached into her briefcase and rifled through a half dozen cards before she handedone to Catarina. “We’ve been wondering for some time if you needed some professional counseling.

Here’s the card of someone we’ve cleared in advance. If, for some reason, you don’t feel comfortablewith this particular therapist, we can see if we can find someone new.”

“Thank you.”Catarina got a quick wave before Agent Smith opened the door again, made some comment about

how nice it was to talk about wallpaper samples with a client who really understood the nuance ofcolor theory, and then walked back toward the entrance.

Everyone has trusted the wrong person somewhere along the way...You’re not broken. You’rejust flawed. Like the rest of us.

The words brought a strange comfort tonight.Catarina tapped the card against the palm of her hand as she closed the door.If only the thought of calling a therapist didn’t bring thoughts of Alan back to the forefront of her

mind. How he’d been the most considerate person responding to her thoughts of home. Or how he’dseen the panic in her eyes after their kiss, and his first instinct had been to invite her to open up tohim. Tell him what was bothering her.

She shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself. Though he’d likely seen what Agent Smithhad seen, he’d never made her feel like she was crazy or responding inappropriately to her stress.

Dr. Rochelle Delacroix.A string of letters followed after her name and made Catarina’s head hurt. They were obviously

important, but all they seemed to do was confuse her. She set the business card on the kitchen table,saving the problem for the next day.

Though the sun had not yet set, all she wanted to do was go to bed. Then, wake up in the morning,hoping that it was different.

CATARINA WAITED ALMOST three days before she decided to call this Dr. Rochelle Delacroix’soffice to make an appointment. Three days where the world continued to turn even though Catarina’sheart was breaking.

Alan had called several times in those days. She hadn’t picked up, not because she didn’t want tohear his voice but because she knew that if she answered the phone, she would be unable to stand herground. He would convince her that she was making a mistake in creating distance between them, andshe would give in.

Despite the fact that she knew without a doubt that this wouldn’t—couldn’t work. Not while shestill hid from Pyotr.

As the phone rang, Catarina chewed on her cuticle. She thought she’d successfully broken thehabit when she became a ballerina, but it seemed it had come back with a vengeance.

“Thank you for calling the office of Dr. Rochelle Delacroix. This is Margie, speaking. How may Ihelp you?”

Catarina’s heart stopped in fear before she spoke. “I am looking for appointment.”Margie’s voice was soothing and professional. “Of course. May I have your first and last name?”Catarina rattled off the name the Air Force had given her when they began protecting her.“When would you like your appointment?”Catarina thought about her schedule for the next few days. Today being Tuesday was one of her

lightest teaching days, followed closely by Thursdays. “Do you have spot today?”Margie was quiet for a little while as she presumably took a look at the calendar. “Looks like I

just had a cancellation. How’s one o’clock?”

Catarina accepted the appointment and checked her watch. She only had a few minutes to getready to go out the door if she was going to make it on time.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST’S office was large enough for a couch, a couple of comfortable armchairs,and a desk off to the side that sported a thin laptop computer. With taupe colored walls and white trimas well as dimmed lights and several lamps around the room, Catarina felt her stress melt away.

Dr. Delacroix, a woman in her mid-fifties with a thick mane of straight black hair that framed herface smiled as she closed the door. “Welcome. I see you’re a new patient. What brings you to metoday?”

Catarina waited until Dr. Delacroix gestured to the seating area before she took a seat. Acomfortable armchair with a yellow background and purple and blue squares printed on it. “I wasreferred. They said you had right security clearance.”

Dr. Delacroix’s expression seemed to shift, but only slightly. “I see. Why did you take thereferral?”

Catarina knit her hands together, thinking back to the advice Agent Smith had offered. “I wasreferred because I am not fitting in the way my handler believes I should. She thinks I should trust myinstincts. Make friends.”

“What do you think?”The woman’s demeanor and how she asked questions reminded Catarina of the things Alan had

done when he’d comforted her or helped her problem-solve. On the one hand, it put Catarina at easebecause it felt normal. Natural. On the other, it reminded her of Alan which radiated pain Catarinadidn’t want to process right now.

Catarina looked back at the woman. “I am sorry. My mind wanders. Repeat question, please?”With infinite patience, Dr. Delacroix repeated the question. “What do you think about trusting

your instincts or finding new friends?”“She does not know, but I have made friends. The women at work are nice to me. Unfortunately,

the other friendships are complicated. I feel nothing but fear when I think of them.”One, anyway, but all I feel when I think of him is fear.”Dr. Delacroix leaned forward. “Fear. Tell me about that fear.”Catarina shifted, certain she didn’t want to talk about Alan, Cassie, or Liam. “Is okay if we find

other topic?”“You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about,” the therapist assured. “This

is our first session, so we’re really just getting to know each other. I want you to feel safe if we’regoing to keep working together. It’s just that you brought up these friends. It sounds like even thoughthings are complicated, they’re important to you.”

Catarina let one finger dust her lips as she thought of Alan again. Of how he had led her in theirkiss without the roughness that Pyotr had depended on. Of how his thoughts often turned to howCatarina felt after taking a step in their relationship, rather than how it had affected him. For thelongest time, she’d thought it was just because it wasn’t a real relationship, but now, she wondered...

“I trusted man long time ago. He promised me things I thought I wanted.” The weight of her storywas heavy to bear as she finally explained the real reason she was here. “I was poor girl in Ukraine. Iwanted to be dancer. He had friends who could make it happen. I thought I was luckiest girl in all ofUkraine.”

“But he betrayed you.”

Catarina shook her head. “He did not betray me, but he did lie to me. Separated me from myfamily. When my brother followed, Pyotr offered him job. I thought it was dream come true.”

Catarina felt tears well up in her eyes. “Adrian always wanted to be doctor, but he gave upschooling when Pyotr took me to Moscow. Now, he is living somewhere in America, and I do noteven know his name.”

With a sympathetic smile, Dr. Delacroix offered Catarina a box of tissues. “Do you have anyoneyou can talk about this with?”

Catarina shook her head. “My handler is tough woman, and except for one person, no one else hasclearance.”

“It’s quite a toll to feel like you’re not allowed to talk about what’s happening in your life withanyone.” The psychologist rested her hands in her lap. “So, I know what your handler’s goals are, butwhat about you? This can be a place for you to process the trauma of leaving your home and family.We could try to work on the feelings of anxiety and fear you have when you think about making newfriends. What do you want from this time?”

Only one word came to Catarina’s mind. “Peace. Help me find peace.”

CATARINA WAS EXHAUSTED as she walked out of that first session. Her arms and legs trembled,which her new therapist admitted was one of the physiological symptoms of processing trauma.

She wanted to cancel her evening yoga class, but some small piece of her nudged her forwarduntil she was standing in the front of her hardwood, mirror-lined recreation room. Students filteredthrough the door as Catarina set up her music, the lighting, and her tools.

In some ways, she was emotionally numb, but she had to admit that was better than the emotionalpain she’d walked around with since before she’d met Alan.

If anything, that was the one thing she’d taken away from that first session. That Alan hadn’t takenaway her pain, nor had he given her pain. That had predated him. The companionship they’d foundtogether and the kinship she’d felt with him had merely eased the symptoms.

Catarina shook off thoughts of Alan as one of her students gently tapped her shoulder, a signal thatit was time to get back to work. “Catarina, I was wondering if you did private coaching. My baby’salmost a year old, and I just can’t get rid of some of this stubborn baby fat. Any chance you can helpme out?”

“I am sorry, but I do not offer private coaching. If you give me number, I can ask my colleagues ifthey want.”

As the woman wrote down her information on a stolen piece of paper, Catarina glanced up at theclock. Time to begin.

There was a slight commotion at the door as she turned around to turn on the soothing oceansounds. Every so often, some young man at the door would inadvertently walk into their class, turningred as he realized he was in the wrong room. It would be no big deal, but she would have to walk upto the door and chat quietly with him to let him know his mistake.

But when she turned that direction and saw who it was at the door...Her heart skipped a beat when the new student, a slightly round, cherry-cheeked man with a blond

beard in sweatpants and a heather gray tee, attempted to carve out a free space for himself in her fullclass.

It seemed strange to see him carrying a yoga mat under one arm when normally she saw him afterwork or on the weekends. In either a brown suit with a vibrant vest or jeans and a button down shirt.

The man skidded on the floor, reaching out for the nearest person to help him as he lost hisbalance. The blonde who had asked about private coaching just a few moments earlier and a redheadwas only in class for the second or third time, helped him back to his feet.

He threw his head back and laughed with his whole being as the women made space for him to sethis mat for class. “Guess that’s what I get for not wearing my shoes to class and leaving them by theside of the mat like the rest of you.”

The name escaped Catarina’s lips like a wish as the fog lifted. “Alan.”He grinned up at her as he settled into his new spot, which displaced several of her regular

students. “Sorry I’m late. First time at yoga. I started walking to the basketball court out of habitbefore I remembered I was supposed to be upstairs today.”

A smattering of giggles sounded from around the room from several of the students.He looked around at the nearly thirty women standing around him, and his ears turned pink before

he turned back to Catarina and shrugged with a goofy look on his face. “I’ve only been here for aminute, and I can already feel the stress melting away. Ocean waves. Dimmed lights. You know, thewhole experience.”

Catarina had the strange urge to walk him outside and demand what he was doing. Unfortunately,she was sure she’d do a terrible job of explaining to him that he was unwanted. After all, her heartwas thudding wildly in her chest and her hopes had soared when he’d appeared.

She had treated him badly. Left him without explanation after he gave her the sweetest kiss.Refused to answer his phone calls. Maybe he had gone back on his word that if she closed off allcommunication, he would take it as a sign that he shouldn’t worry about her, but she’d never been soglad for anyone to disregard what she’d said in all her life.

The fact that he was apparently prepared to make a fool of himself to see more of her made himeven more endearing than the man had probably hoped it would be.

Pyotr might have come to such a class to intimidate her, but he would have stationed himself bythe door so she would see him but so he wouldn't make a fool of himself, even in front of her. Alan,on the other hand, seemed willing to endure a little humiliation to get to know her better, to show herthat he cared.

She tried to suppress a smile as she centered herself on her own mat, pressing her heels into thematerial as she raised her hands over her head. “Let us begin with sun salutation. As you lift yourarms, inhale. Then, as your arms fall to your sides, exhale.”

CATARINA WAVED TO THE last of her regular students before she turned to the only other figurein the room.

Alan.She could not avoid him any longer, and she wasn’t entirely sure she still wanted to try.She knelt beside where he lay flat on his back in the recreation room, staring at the ceiling as he

tried to catch his breath. Even with the meditation that Catarina used to end her yoga classes, beads ofsweat hung on his brow and soaked through his clothes. “You did not have to come to class.”

Alan put a hand on his chest as he turned to look at her, even his hairline was drenched withsweat. “Of course I had to. You wouldn’t answer my calls.”

Catarina had to resist the urge to brush Alan’s hair from his face, and instead, she offered him ahand up. “Alan...”

He groaned as he sat up, but before she could offer him any consolation, his expression turned

fierce. “Don’t... say... a word...”Almost every word that came out of his mouth was punctuated with a wheeze.Instead of speaking, she let herself smile in amusement, knowing that he would appreciate the

exchange more if it was comedic rather than if he was the object of any kind of pity. “There is noshame in taking a short break if you become tired during class.”

Alan rested his forearms on his knees, laughter dancing in his eyes more than it had that last daythey’d seen one another. “I had to at least pretend like I could keep up with those hipster mommas.”

Despite how glad she was to see him, Catarina’s expression slipped into seriousness. “Why areyou here, Alan?”

Alan wiped his face with his hands, and the sweat dripped onto his shirt. “I’m here because Imissed you.”

She stood and walked to the alcove where her cell phone was plugged into the gym’s stereosystem. “Stop.”

“Why? It’s true.” Alan got up and followed her. “I don’t have a clue what I could have done tooffend you at brunch a couple weeks ago. All I know is that it must have been something awful if youwouldn't even talk to me about it. I’ve been beating myself up trying to figure out what it is.”

Catarina’s eyes flashed as she turned around to face him so quickly that her braid flew and landedon one shoulder. “Do you truly believe that is what I would want? For you to be less kind toyourself?”

Apparently stunned, Alan took a step back. “I’m sorry?”There was fire in Catarina’s bones as she finally allowed herself to express the feelings that had

been running on loop in her brain for more than a week. “Do you want to know why I ran away afterour kiss?”

Alan swallowed, then walked back to his mat which he picked up from the floor and startedrolling up. “Honestly? I think I’m good. I have enough problems shutting down the negative thoughtsin my head. I don’t need to add your voice to the list.”

Catarina crossed her arms as she tried to relax her breathing. “How could you believe that I seenothing good in you? After what you know of my past? Of the kind of men I must have loved if I amhere.”

His back to her, his hands stilled.She blinked back tears. “I made a mistake years ago, and I found my life tangled with a man who

was more evil than I could have imagined. He took pleasure in others’ pain, especially mine. Youthink that after this kind of experience, you would not look like a saint by comparison?”

“It was a fake relationship, Catarina.” Alan sounded tired. “We only started it because I admittedI’d really hate to attend my friend’s wedding without a date. Since we were only surface level friendspretending to date, of course I’d look like a dream compared with your ex.”

Catarina frowned, even though she knew he couldn’t see it. “Are you suggesting that if given theright provocation, you would strike a woman for being too tired to clean the dishes after a meal?”

Alan looked over his shoulder at her, like the question surprised him.Perhaps it was how close to the surface her past was after her first session with Dr. Delacroix.

Maybe it was how tired she was carrying around secrets. “My ex had to hurt me before I realized Ihad trusted wrong man with my dreams.”

“He would never have done what you did today, Alan. Never allowed himself to break into sweatand then collapse in exhaustion to try to prove that he cared.” For the first time in years, Catarina feltthe tears drip from her eyes so fast that she could not hold them back. Her breathing hitched, and she

covered her face with her hands.She tried to turn away, but before she could do so, there was a gentle hand on her elbow.She knew it was him. Could feel the comfort as he tugged her into an embrace and kissed her

temple.All the walls she’d built up to protect herself, to keep someone like him from coming in and

seeing the mess she’d made of her life, came crashing down as she clung to him. But the tears camemore swiftly, not less. Tears for her parents, whom she prayed would be safe from Pyotr’s longreach. For her brother who was as alone in a new country as she was.

Tears for the bitter regret that had sprung up the moment she’d realized what kind of man hadbought her soul to help her achieve her dreams. That this man who held her now was the closest she’dfelt to being home again in years, and the knowledge that this feeling was fleeting.

A soft finger lifted her eyes to him as the tears started to fade, and she looked into Alan’s clear,honest eyes, expectantly. Blessedly, Alan resurrected the goofy grin she’d come to love. “I’ve beenmiserable the last few days without you. I didn’t realize how much I rely on your friendship andcompanionship.”

“As do I.”Alan’s smile grew more natural as he let his fingers tangle in her hair. “I tried looking for another

date to Liam and Cassie’s wedding, and if I’m honest, the only thing that was wrong with one of themis that she wasn’t you. So, can we go back to the way things were?”

Catarina pretended to think about the prospect for a second. “Only if you promise to buy me ahamburger on the way home.”

He pulled her into a quick hug as his chest rumbled with laughter. “It’ll take some heavynegotiating, but I think I can manage that.”

Then, he gestured down the length of his body. “As long as I can get a shower and change into realclothes before we have to go.”

“No, please. Shower.” Catarina laughed louder than she had since before she had even left herparents’ house in Ukraine. “In fact, I insist.”

I

Chapter Eleven

Alant felt perfectly natural to take Catarina’s hand in his as they walked down to the his and herslocker rooms on the main floor of the gym. There was a sense of rightness as they walked in

lockstep toward similar destinations. A sense of rightness he’d missed more than he could haveexpressed.

“Oh, Catarina!”Both Alan and Catarina stopped as a woman in a sports bra and leggings jogged their direction

from the office.“Hello, Stephanie.”She was hardly breathing heavy as she caught up to them, and Alan felt immediately jealous of the

woman’s fitness level. He was still wheezing and Catarina’s yoga class had ended almost thirtyminutes earlier. “I’m so glad I caught you. I was looking at the website with a potential client, and Irealized that we’re missing some of the information for your bio. Can you remind me what part ofRussia you’re from, so I can update it?”

All the blood seemed to drain from Catarina’s face, and Alan wrapped an arm around her waistjust so she wouldn’t pass out. “I am not to be on website. I did not sign waiver.”

Stephanie’s brow furrowed. “No. I would have seen a note on your file, and there wasn’t one.”Catarina’s breathing grew shallow and rapid.“Uh, can we look at her file? Nothing confidential, but we need to see what’s on the website and

make sure that there’s a note in her file going forward.” Alan hoped that Catarina wouldn’t mind himtaking over, but she was in no condition in her frozen state to handle the situation.

Stephanie seemed a little hesitant, but before she could deny him, he leveled a serious expressionat her. “Let me rephrase. Take us to her file. For her safety and the safety of your clients, we need toknow what information you put on the website. Now.”

Stephanie’s eyes widened before she led them to the office. Her expression would have made awhole class of squirrely kids sit and wait for the bombshell she was about to drop on them. “It lookslike you had your interview with Heather Nguyen. She should have told you that our instructors havetheir photos on the website. It’s standard procedure.”

Catarina grew strong enough to stand on her own as she shook her head. “I did not sign yourwaiver. Because of my ex. I was told this was no problem.”

It was a good cover, not only because it was true, but also because there were laws in place toprotect the anonymity of domestic abuse survivors. It was also a scenario that was unfortunately a lotmore common than it should have been. Infinitely more common than a woman moving to the UnitedStates to flee the Russian mob or some other paramilitary group.

Stephanie frowned, then stood and walked over to one of the file cabinets. She flipped throughone of the files, then sighed as she brought it to the table. “I’m sorry, Catarina. You’re right. Youfilled out all the necessary paperwork in order to keep from putting your photo by your instructor bio.As silly as it sounds, your notice was put in the wrong place in your file which might have been thereason your bio and photo were posted on the website in the first place.”

Alan was all business. “How long has it been up there?”Stephanie tapped her thigh in what appeared to be a nervous habit. “I’m not entirely sure. It could

have been up there since you were hired, or it could have been uploaded when the website wasupdated a couple weeks ago.”

Catarina sank into one of the chairs as she went even more pale than before. “Weeks?”“Or longer...” Stephanie’s expression was apologetic as she reached for the phone. “But I can call

and get it taken down right away.”Alan knelt beside Catarina’s chair, one hand in hers. He brushed her hair back and kissed her

temple. “Hey, look at me.”Catarina turned scared, brown eyes to him.He offered her a strengthening smile. “I’m here with you, okay? Do you trust me?”There was a hint of doubt in her eyes before she finally nodded and her breathing evened. “Yes. I

trust you, Alan.”He squeezed her hand. “Let’s get you home, okay? We’ll figure out where to go from here.”As he helped Catarina back to her feet and she tucked herself in close to him, he turned back to

Stephanie. “You’re going to want to come up with a replacement instructor for Catarina’s classesuntil she decides if she’s comfortable coming back with these security issues.”

Stephanie bobbed her head once, apparently feeling the weight of the mistake on her shoulders.“Let me know if there’s anything we can do.”

Alan wrapped an arm around Catarina’s shoulders as he prepared to lead her from the office.“Just find her that replacement and give her time to decide what comes next.”

ALAN HELPED CATARINA into her apartment, then put a kettle on to boil as she went into herbedroom and called her handler. He seemed to remember her purchasing a box of teabags the lasttime he brought her groceries in for her, and he suspected this would be the perfect time to drinksomething warm and herbal to soothe her nerves.

He picked up the box of honey vanilla chamomile and steeped it in a dainty tea cup he’d found inthe cupboard. When she didn’t emerge from her bedroom at that point, he ordered a pizza and saladthat they could share if she found herself in the mood to eat later.

The pizza had been on the dining table for almost an hour before she emerged from her bedroomagain. Her eyes red-rimmed and tearful.

Alan stood, his attention focused on her as if he’d been waiting for a judge to deliberate on a lifesentence. “What’d they say?”

Catarina looked past him to the tea he’d steeped when they first arrived at her apartment.“It’s cold now. Sorry.” Alan cursed himself for not thinking to warm it up or make another cup.

He went to dump it out, but Catarina put a hand on his wrist before he could.She took the cup and slammed it back as if it had been a shot of strong spirits.“That bad, huh?”She set the teacup in the sink. “They are increasing security. There are no plans for relocation or a

new identity.”Alan wanted to tug her into a hug and let her express her fears and anxieties, but instead he just

watched her. “How do you feel about that?”“Am I entitled to feel anything about it? There is nothing to be done. The decision has been made.

In a few days, they may change their minds, but until then, I am still here.”Alan didn’t press her. “What about going back to work? How do you feel about that?”Her eyes were vacant as she sat at the dining room table. She didn’t even react when he put a

plate in front of her and served her dinner. “I am tired. Only today, I said I just want peace, and nowuniverse has put me in danger again.”

“You wanted them to relocate you.”Her shoulders tensed. “There is man who worked with Pyotr. Sacha Kalashnikov. She said he is

in country.”Alan’s heart plummeted to his stomach. “And they don’t think you need to be moved?”She looked down at her hands. “Is changing situation. They are evaluating options.”There was something she wasn’t saying. Something she didn’t want him to see in her eyes. “But?”She sighed as she looked back up at him. “I feel unsafe. There is something in pit of my stomach

that says I must leave. Change hair. Change name. Whatever it takes.”“Then, let’s do it.”For the first time since she’d gone into her bedroom, there was some life in Catarina’s face. Her

brow furrowed in confusion. “Do what?”Alan wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but he’d never felt so sure of his purpose in all

his life. “Whatever it is that you need to feel safe. You want to change where you live? Move in withme. You want to change your hair? I’ll buy the dye. You want to change your name? Take mine.”

Only as the last two words popped out of his mouth did he catch what he was offering to do.She must have caught his meaning as well because she stared at him. “What did you say?”He didn’t have the luxury of second guessing himself, so Alan didn’t bother to repeat himself.

“Marry me, Catarina. Change your hair. Buy new contacts. Whatever you have to do, but marry me,too. You won’t have to go back to the gym because even though I don’t make a ton of money, we’ll getby. You’ll have a new name, and we’ll have all your mail forwarded to a PO box in town so theycan’t trace you back to my house.”

She pulled away and shook her head. “I cannot drag you into this.”“I’m already in this, and I’m not leaving just because it’s getting a little tough.” He grew more

confident as the minutes ticked on. “If this is the only way I can protect the woman I love, then—”He froze, realizing the admission he’d made.She turned slowly toward him, and with a note of panic, he had to acknowledge that the

realization had been more public than he’d anticipated.“The woman you—” She looked as if she almost couldn’t breathe, waiting for confirmation.With his heart in his throat, he whispered the admission a second time. “If this is the only way I

can protect the woman I love, then so be it.”Feeling like he had to explain, however, he kept talking. “Look, if the last couple weeks have

taught me anything, it’s that I have stronger feelings for you than I’ve wanted to admit for a long time.Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s not full-blown love, but it’s the closest thing I’ve ever felt in my life.I’m not asking you to feel the same way about me, and that’s fine, but I’d rather you stayed alive longenough to figure it out.”

She seemed stunned by the sheer volume of words that spilled out of him. Not just grappling withwhat their meaning changed between them, but also as if the non-native English speaker struggled tokeep up his self-doubt-infused rhetoric.

He knelt beside her like he had in the office, hoping to cut through to the heart of what he’d beentrying to tell her. “I’m asking you to marry me, Catarina. No strings attached. All I need to know nowis this: do you trust me?”

There was only a heartbeat before she took his hand and nodded. “I trust you, Alan Barrows.More than any other person I know.”

He closed his eyes as he kissed her forehead, recognizing the precious gift she’d just given him.Then, he leaned his forehead against hers as he tried to school his emotions into a place where hecould continue pressing forward. “Let me call some people, and we’ll get this done, okay?”

IT FELT IMPOSSIBLE how quickly the plan came together after Catarina accepted his proposal. Aquick internet search to find that Colorado had no waiting period after applying for a marriage licensebefore the ceremony could be performed. A quick text to his boss to say that he had a familyemergency and would be gone the next day.

In fact, with the exception of a few last minute things they would have to wait until regularbusiness hours to arrange, the whole plan had come loosely together in fifteen minutes.

Alan sat back on the couch beside Catarina as the enormity of what they were planning to dowashed over him.

She put a hand on his back. “Do you have doubts?”Alan blinked up at her. “Huh?”“Would be natural if you did.” She didn’t meet his eyes. “We have not made plans that cannot be

changed.”Alan shifted so he could face her more completely. “Hey, I’m not changing my mind.” Then, with

some compassion, he turned to her. “What about you?”She shook her head instantly. “No. Is good plan.”He nodded. “Then, it’s settled.”“Will you invite Liam and Cassie?”Alan frowned. “I’m not sure.”Catarina rested her cheek on his shoulder. “Would be nice gesture.”“Yeah, but he’s working tomorrow. He has this big training op on Saturday, and Cassie’s going

out of town to watch her sister’s kids, so I don’t think it’s going to work out.”Then, Alan sighed as he remembered the kindness his friend had shown earlier that day. Of how

Liam had given him the confidence to walk into that yoga class and force Catarina to face him.All of a sudden, he remembered the scheduled basketball game they had planned for the next day.

“I should at least cancel our plans tomorrow.”Catarina put a hand on his. “You had plans with Liam?”“It’s fine. I’m sure he’ll realize this is more important.” He hoped she didn’t pick up on how

unsure he was about Liam’s response.She nodded to the phone. “Invite them. Let them decide what they will do.”Alan studied her before he nodded. “Hey, it’s your wedding, too. There are plenty of things

you’re compromising on, including the groom. So, inviting Liam and Cassie’s the least I can do.”Catarina ran a hand over his as he searched through his favorite contacts for Liam’s number.

Before he had a chance to make the call, she forced him to look at her. “I did not compromise ongroom, Alan, but you could have any woman—”

He put a finger on her lips before she could apologize for this crazy idea. “I’m the one whoproposed to you, remember? I made my choice, and I have no regrets.”

She looked almost bashful as she entwined her fingers with his. “I asked you question when youstayed after class, and you did not want to know answer.”

“Why you ran away from our kiss.”She bobbed her head once.

He tried to anticipate what she would say. To prepare himself for whatever painful truth she wasabout to impart on him that would make their marriage of convenience a little harder to live with.“Okay... I’m ready.”

“When Liam spoke of making waffles on Sunday with his children, I could see image clearly.Could almost hear laughter. Nearly smelled flour and cinnamon in their hair.”

The way she spoke about her vision, he could almost picture it himself. Probably didn’t hurt thathe’d had that day of cooking with her to refresh his memory of how much fun family life could be.“Sounds like a nice dream.”

“When I kissed you for second time, dream expanded, and I saw—” Her voice faltered.“Saw what?”There was a softness in her eyes as she met his gaze that seemed almost too good to be true. “I

saw man there. Heard voice. Laughter.”Alan’s breath hitched as he realized how much he wanted to hear her say it was him. Instead of

admitting that to her, however, he managed a goofy smile. “Hey, if you say you were daydreamingabout Chris Evans or Robert Downey Junior, I’m not gonna throw stones. Heck, I’d probably startdaydreaming right alongside you.”

She smiled appreciatively, though she shook her head.He braced himself to hear that she still had feelings for Liam...“I imagined boy and girl.” She swallowed, thickly. “And you.”Alan quirked an eyebrow upward. “Me?”“I have trusted you,” she whispered. “Now, trust me. I did not compromise on groom. After all my

poor choices, I could never compromise on groom.”Alan reached a hand up to her cheek before he took a chance and leaned in for a kiss. He stopped

just shy of meeting her lips, utterly relieved when she closed the distance between them and brushedher sweet, soft lips against his.

With a sigh of ecstasy, he opened his eyes a moment later. “We’re getting married tomorrow.”Her eyes crinkled in the corners with a joy that he hadn’t expected to find at such a thrown-

together wedding. “We are getting married tomorrow.”Then, as only a wife could do, she nudged his shoulder. “Now, call Liam and invite.”Alan had to laugh. “Yes, ma’am.”

F

Chapter Twelve

Catarinaor the first time in months, Catarina awoke feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.Surprised when she smelled breakfast cooking, she sat up in bed. Then, she remembered. After

Alan had called Liam and told him about the wedding, he’d tried to leave.Only, she had caught him by the sleeve. “Don’t go,” she had pleaded.His expression had grown soft as he stood close to her. He kissed her knuckles and then wrapped

his hands around hers. “We’re not married yet, and my mother raised a gentleman.”But the idea of staying alone in her apartment, even with Agent Smith’s promised protection,

filled Catarina with fear.Apparently reading her expression, Alan had finally acquiesced. “You got a blanket I can wrap up

in on the couch?”Then, as she padded off to find an extra blanket and a pillow, he called after her. “I’m gonna call

Liam and see if he can go check on Rochester. Poor dog’s probably feeling abandoned, and I’m not sosure he’ll be thrilled to find out the family’s expanding.”

She had tried to backpedal. “I forgot about dog. Is no problem. I can be brave one more night.”“Or...” He had elongated the single-syllable word as he came up with another alternative. “Or you

could spend the night at my house. You can take my bed. I’ll take the couch.”“I am guest. I can sleep on couch.”He shook his head. “After tomorrow, it’ll be your house, too. You won’t be a guest anymore.”Once again, it had dawned on her that things were going to change. “Of course...”He had put his hands on her shoulders as if he’d read her mind. “We’ll talk about the sleeping

arrangements for after the wedding later. Preferably after a good night’s sleep and some coffee in themorning.”

She lay back on the bed as she acclimated to the new surroundings. The plaid sheets, thoughchanged before she’d gone to bed the night before, smelled like Alan which made her feel safeunderneath them.

There was a gentle knock at the door before Catarina sat back up to face the person on the otherside of the door. “Come in.”

Alan poked his head around the corner as a dog with a misshapen face and his tongue hanging outtook a running leap and hopped onto the bed.

With a yip and hearty enthusiasm, the dog nearly tackled her back onto the bed. Catarina justlaughed, remembering Alan’s concern that Rochester wouldn’t be happy with any familial changes.Catarina’s skin grew warm as she snuggled the dog.

The dog would be in for a few more changes if Catarina had her way. Once this business withPyotr and his associates was wrapped up, she intended to broach the subject of children with herhusband. Given his support of the family image she had seen the first time they’d kissed, she hoped hewould be as eager to continue expanding their family as she was.

“I know it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, but I think we’ve gotspecial circumstances.”

Alan walked a tray of breakfast into the room, still clad only in a tee shirt and plaid pajama pants.Catarina patted the spot beside her on the bed as her stomach gurgled in anticipation of the meal.

“How did you sleep?”Alan shrugged. “Does any groom really get a good night’s sleep the night before his big day?”He handed her the tray. “Uh, I got some frozen waffles and a couple mini quiches I had in the back

of my freezer which are probably from when my mom came for a visit. It’s not much, but—”She put a hand on his to stop him from apologizing for this sweet gesture. “Is very good way to

wake up.”Alan scratched at his beard. “Uh, just a word of warning. One that kept me up all night as a matter

of fact...”Catarina paused in the middle of raising her knife and fork to attack the breakfast. “Oh?”“That whole Waffles with Dad thing that Liam wants to start with his kids?” Alan offered her a

sheepish smile. “The truth is, if you’re looking for that kind of husband who can cook and coach littleleague—well, you’re going to be disappointed.”

Catarina didn’t immediately respond, processing his words. “What kind of husband will you be?”“The one that takes the trash out. Gets up with the baby in the middle of the night. Sings off key at

birthday parties. Wraps an arm around your shoulders when we’re watching TV. Think you can livewith that?”

She might have been tempted to believe that a piece of waffle had gotten stuck in her throat exceptthat she hadn’t actually taken a bite of it yet. “Is exactly what I want.”

Alan broke into a boyish grin. “Yeah?”“I have known too many people who said right thing to trust. Or made big, romantic gestures. I

want quiet love. Where car is always defrosted before work. Or flowers are given not because thereis special occasion but because they reminded you of the woman you love.”

“I knew the flowers would give me a leg up,” Alan teased. Then, he stood. “I actually came in notjust to bring you breakfast but also to warn you. I called the courthouse. They can squeeze us inbetween ten and eleven, depending on the docket of the day. Liam and Cassie said they’ll meet usthere, but since we have to actually apply for the license first, we should really get a move on.”

Catarina nodded as she took a single bite of waffle, then one of the tiny egg custard cups with bitsof spinach inside. “I will be ready in two minutes.”

Alan chuckled. “Hon, it’s our wedding day. I think I can give you three.”

THE BUTTERFLIES IN Catarina’s stomach didn’t present until she saw Liam and Cassie waitingoutside the judge’s chambers. No, she’d been smooth and confident as they filled out the paperworkand presented their identification. Even spoke flirtatiously with the window attendant about her fiancéas Alan got out his credit card to pay the fee.

But the mere sight of her friends, or the people she hoped she’d be able to count as friends at theend of this road, made her heart thump a little louder than normal. Especially when Cassie stood andoffered Catarina a carefully wrapped bouquet of flowers.

“It’s not much, I know, but I figured you should have something nice today. You know, the wholeold, new, borrowed, and blue thing? The dress is old, the flowers are new, Alan is borrowed, and...”Then, Cassie laughed. “Well, three out of four has to count for something.”

Catarina fingered the pearl drop earrings she’d brought with her. The one heirloom she hadn’t hadto leave in Moscow. “Actually, earrings are old. They were my grandmother’s.”

“They’re lovely.” Cassie’s smile was gentle as she fingered them. “Unfortunately, they’re notblue. So, we’re still one short.”

“How about the ring?”Catarina’s head snapped up. Liam handed a black box with gold trim to Alan, whispered to him

for a moment, before Alan offered her a chagrined smile. “Uh, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind,but I guess it will work until we can go shopping and get you something you really like.”

Inside the box was a delicately crafted silver ring. A blue stone sat upon silver petals and vinesthat melted into the band. “Liam says it’s more of a birthstone ring, not an engagement ring, but I’m alittle shocked we could pull it off at all.”

Catarina’s eyes watered as Alan removed the ring and handed it to her. “What do you think?”“Is lovely.”Alan swallowed as he took the ring back. “Mind if we check the fit? I’d hate to get in there, and

find out it won’t go on or have it slipping off because it’s too big.”She extended her left hand and allowed his trembling fingers to slip the ring on. She grinned as he

finished and inspected her hand carefully. “Is perfect fit.Then, when he still didn’t breathe a sigh of relief, she admired the ring with all the fanfare she

could muster. “Alan, I do not have ring for you.”Liam cleared his throat. “I got this a while back in case I had unwanted female attention. It’s

stretchy, so hopefully it’ll work.”Alan frowned as Liam handed him a silicone band. “What is this?”“People at the gym or in the military wear these when they want to honor their marital vows

without putting their nicer rings in jeopardy.” Liam shrugged. “It’s just a placeholder, I know, but it’syours if you want it.”

Catarina took the white band from Alan, then looked into his eyes. “May I?”Alan raised his shoulders in surrender. “Sure. Knock yourself out.”She had just put the band around Alan’s left ring finger when someone walked out of the judge’s

chambers. “Petrovka-Barrows wedding?”Catarina’s stomach clenched in instant apprehension as everyone stood.“The judge will see you now. Follow me.”

“YOU MUST BE THE HAPPY couple.” The judge entered the office and removed his long blackrobes. “Alan and, uh, Katrina.”

Alan cleared his throat. “Actually, it’s Catarina.”“Oh.” The judge brought the paperwork close to inspect it before he nodded. “Right. Didn’t catch

that middle a. Sorry.”Catarina just smiled at him, her stomach fluttering with nerves. In just a few minutes, she would

be Mrs. Alan Barrows. Her life would change, but for the first time since she had been rescued fromMoscow, she wouldn’t have to face the problems of the present alone. She would have a partner, andthat filled her with a hope she could not adequately express.

The judge gestured for them to stand. “Court’s only in recess for another half hour, so I’m afraidwe’re going to have to get this show on the road. You two okay with that?”

Catarina nodded as she stood and pressed any wrinkles out of her knee-length dress. With herthree-inch-heels, she stood almost a half-inch taller than the man who would become her husband.

Alan’s fingers reached for hers, almost instinctively. “Short and sweet’s the way we like it.”The judge sucked on the end of his glasses as he studied the two of them. “Maybe it’s the lasagna

I’ve got on the menu for lunch—my wife makes it special for me with a sauce that takes her hours to

stew over and it always makes me see the world a little rosier than it was before—but I have afeeling about the two of you. You have what it takes to make it, I think. Drop me a line on your fifthanniversary. Or better yet, put me on the guest list when your kids throw you a party on yourtwentieth.”

Catarina’s cheeks pinked at the mention of children. When she caught Alan’s eye, he just wiggledhis eyebrows, and she couldn’t help but laugh. The idea of seeing this gentle man as a father filled herwith an indescribable longing. One that she had only ever associated with dancing before today.

Perhaps somewhere along the path that had brought her here in front of Alan, she’d found a newdream.

“Okay, okay... You two didn’t bring your friends and come here today to hear an old man talk.You came to get married.” The judge smiled at them. “Face each other and hold hands, please.”

Catarina’s heart raced as she faced Alan, who didn’t waste a second to hold both her hands.“Now, unless you tell me otherwise, I’m gonna go with the standard specs. You know, the love,

honor, and cherish bit.”Alan’s voice was uncharacteristically hoarse. “Sounds just right, Your Honor.”As the officiant recited the words Catarina had heard in countless American television programs

and films, a wave of love washed over her. The emotion overwhelmed her and threatened to leakonto her cheeks.

She let go of Alan’s fingers just long enough to wipe at the corner of her eye as she sniffled.The words of the ceremony seemed to fade away as Alan mouthed the words I love you.Catarina’s smile brightened as the joy she felt eclipsed the worry and the pain and the agony of

the last several hours.She caught snippets of the vows as time seemed to pass at a much slower than normal pace. For

better for worse... For richer, for poorer... In sickness and in health... So long as you both shalllive.

How many of these vows had they already proven they could handle? How many more wayswould they show each other the depth of their commitment?

The way Alan swallowed before he murmured a solemn, “I do,” only a few moments before sherepeated the words with the same promise in them.

“Present the rings.”Liam stepped forward and offered Alan the floral ring. Cassie stepped forward and offered

Catarina the white silicone wedding band. With a feeling that the next section of the ceremony was thereal moment of truth, Catarina sucked in a breath.

She pressed her right hand to her lips as Alan slipped the blue crystal ring onto her left ringfinger. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Then, she took the larger ring and slipped it onto his. Repeated the words with a hitch in hervoice.

“Then, by the power vested in me by the state of Colorado, I pronounce you husband and wife.”Alan looked at the judge expectantly before the judge nodded with a bright smile. “You may kiss thebride.”

There was nothing sweeter than the way Alan kissed her just then, his bride. How he almosttrembled as he reached for and pulled her close like they were in one of those classic movies heloved so much. Catarina savored the way her lips tingled as he kissed her. She would never be ableto express how much she appreciated that Alan’s kisses almost treated her like she was delicate.After Pyotr’s roughness, it was a refreshing change.

When he finally broke away so they could breathe, Alan turned to the officiant. “Thank you.”The judge practically beamed. “This is my favorite part of the job. Congratulations, you two.”Catarina and Alan turned to find their friends. All traces of the tension they’d waded through gone

in this moment, Cassie and Catarina embraced. As did Liam and Alan.“Congratulations. You’re a beautiful bride.”Catarina smoothed down the cap-sleeved green dress that hugged her figure and came to her

knees. “Is not traditional.”Cassie winked. “But are you all that traditional, yourself?”Catarina just laughed. Then, Alan and Liam came, each opening their arms to the women. Alan to

Cassie and Liam to Catarina.Liam held her as tightly as he had the last night in Kiev before he had left for America again.

“Don’t worry about your handlers. I’ll handle the DIA, okay?”Catarina mouthed the words, thank you, as they separated. Then, she turned to Alan. Her husband.The knowledge of her new role threatened to stop her from breathing as he wrapped an arm

around her waist. “What do you say, wife? Shall we head home?”Liam cleared his throat before he handed a new set of car keys to Alan. “Uh, maybe before you do

that, you take your new bride to Denver. We rented you guys a car, and in the glovebox, you’ll find areservation at a nice hotel and the address to a Ukrainian restaurant downtown.”

Alan seemed to get choked up as he looked at his friend. “I thought you didn’t think this was agood idea.”

Liam’s lips lifted in a rueful smile. “I’ve been known to make mistakes before. Just ask Declanand Marissa.”

Cassie grinned at them both. “Have fun, you guys. And don’t worry about Catarina’s apartment orRochester. Liam was up all night trying to figure things out so Declan and Marissa’s kids could staywith us this weekend instead of the other way around. We’ll keep an eye on things. Maybe even boxsome of Catarina’s things, if that’s okay?”

Catarina felt a note of panic before she looked into Alan’s eyes. Remembered how he had askedher twice in one night if she trusted him. Then, with a deep breath, she looked at her friends. “I trustyou.”

Alan squeezed his new wife close. “Take good care of the glass dance figurine on the bookshelf.It’s got sentimental value.”

As strange as it sounded, that was the thing that made Catarina’s heart melt. “You remembered?”He kissed her temple, then whispered, “There’s nothing about you that I could ever forget.”

A

Chapter Thirteen

Alanlan walked up to his wife’s apartment, a little sheepish. “You sure you’re going to be okaywhile I go grab my clothes? I mean, I wasn’t expecting to be gifted a honeymoon.”

Catarina gave him a crooked smile as she unlocked the door. “I had no plans to marry and moveto new house, but I am here.”

Alan just laughed. “Is that your way of telling me to suck it up?”Mischief played on her features. “Welcome to having wife, Dr. Barrows.”He loved that word. More than that, he loved the woman he now called wife. Instead of giving

himself permission to get sentimental, however, he followed her into the apartment and locked boththe deadbolt and the chain lock behind them. “You know, I don’t actually have to leave you here. Forthat matter, we can just stop and buy clothes on our way.”

He’d be lying if that wouldn’t stretch his budget, but it was a special occasion. After all, theyhadn’t gotten new clothes to wear for the ceremony... Instead, Catarina had produced a blue-greendress with a criss-crossed bodice and straight lines that had been in the back of her closet with thetags on, and Alan had donned one of his signature brown suits and a coordinated vest.

Maybe they could have—or at least should have—rented a tux and bought an off-the-rackwedding dress they could go home with, but Catarina had not wanted the fuss. “Later,” was all she’dpromised, and Alan took that to mean that one day, she hoped to have another ceremony where alltheir family could attend. After Pyotr and his organization was no longer a threat.

That was a promise he could support wholeheartedly. Alan followed Catarina to her bedroom but stayed in the doorway out of respect for how quickly

everything had changed between them. How quickly everything could still change once they go to thehotel Liam had booked for them.

After all, the Air Force officer hadn’t known the origins of their relationship. Hadn’t known it hadall started as a farce, then grown into—

Well, Alan still wasn’t sure what it had grown into. All he knew was that it wasn’t fake anymore.Hadn’t been for a long time.He let a teasing smile raise the corner of his lips. “Tell me, are you going to be one of those

thrifty wives who tells me that I shouldn’t buy you nice things because you think we can’t afford it?”Concentrating on her task, she looked oddly serious. Just pulled a suitcase from under the bed. “I

am poor girl from Ukraine. I may once have been tempted by shining things, but no longer.”Alan wondered if she was thinking about the relationship that had gone sour. The one she didn’t

talk about because, if he was right, it was too closely connected to why she was here. “Well, as alower middle class American, I appreciate your frugality. Doesn’t mean I won’t still try to spoil you.”

“You spoil me with manner.” She smiled up at him as she knelt against the bed. A second suitcaseappeared beside the first on the bed.

Realizing that because of some gentlemanly code, he’d let his brand new wife get on her handsand knees to get her own luggage, Alan strode into the room with hands outstretched to her. “Oh, hey.Do you need some help? Let me get that.”

He helped her up, kicking himself for his oversight. So much for spoiling his wife with hismanners. He’d have to find a way to make up for that later.

“Is already done.” As he had expected, she went straight to the closet and dresser to gather whatshe would need. Not a hint that she would hold this minor trespass against him. It was one of thethings he loved best about her.

“Catarina, we should probably talk about what the plan is in Denver...” Alan’s palms started tosweat the way they had many times in the last few weeks when they were just pretending to betogether.

She frowned. “Plan? What plan?”He nodded. “Exactly. We started this as a fake relationship with the stipulation that I wouldn’t ask

you any personal questions. Well, now we’ve admitted that we’re probably at least a little bit in lovewith each other, told each other lots of personal stuff, slept in the same house together—”

“You forgot we were married,” she said in a matter of fact tone as she walked back to the bedwith an armful of clothes she was going to try to put into a suitcase.

“No,” Alan raised a finger to correct her. “I didn’t forget that. I just hadn’t gotten there yet.”Catarina opened the suitcase on the bed without blinking an eye. Given the size of the suitcases,

she was planning on getting as much of her clothes gathered so they could go straight back to hishouse after their honeymoon in Denver. “You wish to know our sleeping arrangements.”

She’d said it so openly that Alan took a second to remember to breathe before he nodded. “Well,yeah, actually. I’d like a little clarification before we leave for Denver.”

Catarina walked away from her task and wrapped her arms around Alan’s neck. “You will likemy plan, Alan. I promise.”

She threaded her fingers through his hair and the sensation was so soothing that his brain fritzedout for a second.

Then, as she walked back to her bed, he shook off the daze. “Hold on. You didn’t answer myquestion.”

There was a knock at the door, and Catarina laughed, her hands filled with a dress she wasfolding to go into the suitcase. “Go answer door, dear. Then, we will talk more.”

Alan tried not to grouse. He wanted the matter settled sooner rather than later. Needed to knowwhat he would be expected to do—or not do—with his new bride. “How much do you want to betthat’s Liam and Cassie?”

Catarina laughed under her breath as she rearranged a couple items already packed in her luggage.“You believe they are here to scold us?”

Alan walked toward the bedroom door with a wink. “For ditching our honeymoon? I think they’llmake a quip about déjà-vu, and drag us to the car themselves. But I’ve got the perfect comeback.”

“And that is?”Alan grinned, pleased with his wit. “If honeymoons always went as planned, they would never

have started dating.”

“HOLD YOUR HORSES. I’M coming.” Alan rolled his eyes as he unlocked the deadbolt and thechain lock. “Look, if you’re wondering why we’re here—”

Alan had only opened the door a crack before he realized his mistake. That he hadn’t checked thepeephole before he’d unlocked the doors.

He didn’t have to know what Catarina’s ex looked like to know that the hulking man in anexpensive Italian suit flanked by two equally large bodyguards was dangerous.

...And that wasn’t counting the microaggressions Alan had caught in the half-second he’d seen the

man’s deceptively pleasant face.Even as adrenaline surged in his body and he slammed his body weight against the door, Alan

knew he’d never make that mistake again. He just hoped he lived long enough to practice the newhabit.

Alan had secured the deadbolt and chain lock back into place as the whole door shudderedagainst his body. If he had to guess, the Russian—or perhaps one of his bodyguards—had slammedhis weight against the door in order to break it down. Given the age and relative flimsiness of thedoor, Alan wasn’t sure it would hold long.

Catarina poked her head out of the bedroom. “Alan, what—”He didn’t let up the pressure he had on the door, grateful for the first time in his life for the extra

twenty or thirty pounds he kept around his middle. Instead, he waved for her to get back into thebedroom.

She must have caught something of the panic in his expression because instantly, her demeanorchanged. “Pyotr?”

Alan didn’t have to respond because the Russian on the other side of the door spoke. “Open thedoor, please. I need to speak to my wife. Is a domestic matter.”

Catarina’s head shook rapidly, and Alan tried to assure her that he understood. Unfortunately, helurched forward and then back against the door with the force of the Russian’s coordinated attack onit.

Alan waved her away a second time. “Climb out the window and call your handler.”Catarina raised her watch, and a light beeped on the side. “Is already done.”Then, she looked down where she was crouched and her brown eyes brightened. With a strength

Alan might not have expected in someone with such a thin, willowy woman, Catarina shoved thecouch toward him.

She tried to pantomime her intentions, but Alan had already figured out her plan. He pointed at thecouch and then the table. Then, the room.

She nodded as the thumping stopped.For a brief second, Alan wondered if the threat had passed. If Catarina’s security detail had been

closer than either of them had suspected.Then, Catarina’s eyes widened.He didn’t know why he knew, but the moment her expression shifted, Alan had the overwhelming

urge to duck. Especially as Catarina ducked behind the couch.Just in time, too. A muffled pop. The chain lock rocketing through the living room.Alan scrambled back to his feet and helped Catarina wedge the couch in front of the door. Then,

yanked the circular dining table close enough to hold it in place.Then, he grabbed his wife’s hand and ran.Another pop.They ducked but didn’t stop.Not even when one of the three Russians yelled something to the other two in their native tongue.Alan and Catarina didn’t waste any time in the bedroom before they ripped the mattress off the

bed and shoved it against the door.“What’d they say?” Alan asked as he and Catarina worked to remove the drawers so they could

secure the mattress with the dresser.Catarina was breathing hard, but she wasn’t falling to pieces the way she had in her boss’s office

last night. “They’re getting away,” she translated.

Alan had planned to take some of the discarded sheets and help make a rope ladder for them toclimb down to the ground. Now, he wasn’t sure that would work. “What’s their next move, do youthink?”

She shook her head. “Was Adrian who knew their operations. Not me.”Alan offered her a look of complete confidence though this probably seemed an odd time to be

confident. “He may have known how they operate, but you knew Pyotr. Probably better than anyone.That’s why you’re so dangerous. Now, tell me... What do you think he’s going to do next?”

She inhaled sharply as she replaced the drawers in the dresser to make the furniture heavier. “Hewill send man to watch window. Other two will try to break into apartment.”

He patted her cheek, the only real way that he could show her how proud he was of her before hegot back to work. He reached into his phone and handed it to his wife as he took the last of herdrawers from her. “Call Liam. Let him know what’s going on. Hopefully your added security’salready on its way, but Liam still might be able to help.”

Her eyes widened with fear. “What are you going to do?”Alan gestured to the box spring. “Put that up over the window so no one can climb in or shoot

through.”He helped Catarina into the closet. “While I’m doing that, I want you in here, okay?”She squeezed his hand with a grip that made him wonder if he’d ever be able to break away from

her long enough to do what he’d planned to do. “No, Alan. Is too dangerous. If you are out there, Iwill help.”

Even as a loud crash from the living room erupted, Alan mustered a smile and a kiss for his newbride. “I love you. Call Liam.”

Then, he slid the closet door shut.

C

Chapter Fourteen

Catarinaatarina tried to muffle her fears as she hid in the closet. It was a nightmare, pure and simple. Anightmare she’d believed to be over until it wasn’t. A nightmare she thought she’d averted until

she hadn’t.Her heart beat wildly in her chest as she heard the scuffles in the apartment. The sound of sirens

outside that she prayed would be coming toward them.The call to Liam had gone to voicemail. Catarina heard Alan scuffling around with the box spring.

She should be out there. It was her fault that Pyotr had been in her life in the first place. So, it wasonly fair that she be the one sacrificing to protect them.

Even as she reached to open the sliding door to the closet, Alan appeared before her.She breathed a sigh of relief and scooted over so he could join her. He didn’t complain, but the

look on his face when he saw the limited space between the wall and the door showed a crack in hisstrength.

She shifted so that she sat sideways against the opposite wall, hoping that would give him morespace.

He breathed easier as he climbed in and closed the door to hide them. He didn’t speak as theyheard more Russian bellows and grunts. The groan of their barricades which were slowing the teamdown but not stopping them at all.

Alan mimicked the look of a telephone and put it to his ear.Catarina shook her head as she tossed the phone back to him.Even in the darkness, she could see his silent protest.She felt tears well up in her eyes, though she refused to let the full weight of her worry and

sadness do more than stream down her cheeks in silent agony.She was supposed to be on her honeymoon. She’d been assured that she was safe.Though Alan was too far away to hold her, he tapped her toes with his feet. She looked up and

saw his courage-filled face. For a man who worried that his whole life was a mistake, she wasamazed that he could so easily face this moment with calm and trust.

It felt like forever before a temporary pause in the attempt to break through the bedroom doormade Catarina’s heart stop in fear. Was it over? Had they left?

Were they simply changing tactics?Muffled voices on the other side of the door.Catarina looked at Alan who pressed a finger to his lips, then slid open the door so they could

hear a little better.“Alan? Catarina? Are you guys okay in there?”For the first time since she’d seen him in Moscow, Catarina’s heart was happy to hear Liam’s

voice.“Yeah, Liam, we’re in here. We’re fine. There were three of them. Did you get them?” Alan’s

clear tenor voice rang out from where they sat in the closet.“We’ve got everyone, Dr. Barrows." The distinctly feminine voice took a breath before she

continued. "Catarina, it’s Agent Smith. Can you open the door for me, please?”Even as Catarina scrambled to do as she’d been asked, Alan slumped against the wall.

Catarina’s heart squeezed as she knelt beside him, afraid that he'd been injured or otherwise takenill. “Alan?”

He waved away her concern. “I’m fine. It’s just—” He ran a hand over his face as shudderingsobs broke past his defenses. He tried to hide his emotion from her, but it seemed that he needed torelease all of the fear he'd carried himself while they hid. His eyes puffy and red as he looked up ather, shaking his head vehemently. “I don’t know what I would have done—Don't know if I could havelived if my mistake—”

Another wave of tears silenced him as the rescuers entreated her again to open the door.She wrapped her husband in her arms and held his head to her chest. The rescuers outside could

wait a little longer while she comforted her husband. “Is all right. Is over.”Tears stung her eyes as she processed how close she’d come to losing him because of her own

foolishness. If that was even a portion of how he was feeling, he had to know he wasn’t alone. Shekissed his temple as she rocked him gently. “Is over, Alan. All over.”

AGENT SMITH FINISHED speaking to the lead detective on the scene, then walked over to whereAlan and Catarina sat under blankets in the back of an ambulance. “You two okay?”

Alan appeared almost numb as he nodded. “What’s the chance of this happening again?”Agent Smith signed a piece of paper that one of her subordinates put in front of her. “Not likely at

all, Dr. Barrows. Nice to meet you, by the way.”Alan mustered a mirthless smile, then reached for Catarina’s hand. “Can you be so sure about

that? I mean, just yesterday, you were telling Catarina that she didn’t have to be moved.”Agent Smith looked at Catarina, and shame pooled in the Ukrainian’s belly. She leaned in to Alan.

“She said they would look into it. Said it did not seem an immediate priority.”Alan glanced over at Agent Smith with a note of mistrust in his eyes. “Care to amend your

statement, Agent Smith?”“Alan.” Liam stood, arms crossed beside the couple. “It was a rapidly progressing situation. I’m

sure there were preparations underway to protect Catarina.”“Preparations that would have been disrupted by your trip to the courthouse this afternoon.” Agent

Smith didn’t sound at all pleased by that course of action.Liam leaned in and whispered something that only the DIA agent could hear, saving Catarina from

trying to explain.The woman frowned at Liam, then looked at the newlyweds. “You already gave statements to my

people, so as long as you’re cleared by medical professionals, I see no reason why you shouldn’t befree to go.”

Catarina’s eyes widened. She’d been expecting a lecture from the stern by-the-book woman.Before she was able to really breathe a sigh of relief, however, Agent Smith spoke again. “Pyotr

Vasiliev may no longer be a problem, but we will be monitoring your safety as well as the safety ofyour brother until we have confirmed that no one in Moscow is looking for either of you anymore.”

Something about the way the words sounded in her ears made Catarina’s mind race. “And when ithas been confirmed that no one in Moscow is looking for us?”

Agent Smith treated herself to a tiny smile. “Then, you’ll be free to return home if you want.Resume your previous identity and life.”

Alan looked down at his wedding ring from beside her. He forced a smile to his lips as hepresumptively felt her eyes on him. He lifted his left hand so she could see the wedding band on his

ring finger. “Guess at that point, we won’t need these anymore.”A passion she hadn’t felt free enough to express in a very long time overcame Catarina as she

leaned her forehead against her husband’s. “I will never not need you, Alan Barrows. You saved mylife.”

Alan pulled away and shrugged off the blanket. “No, Catarina. I tried. There’s a difference. I thinkwe can thank Liam for the actual saving.”

Liam cleared his throat. “No, she’s right.”Alan raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”“If you two hadn’t gotten married today, she would have been all alone in that apartment.” A hint

of approval cracked through Liam’s military persona. “You did good, Barrows.”Alan seemed to be at war with himself as he stood and paced. “Yeah, well, if I hadn’t been here,

she never would have opened the door to that—” He stopped himself before he said anything aboutPyotr.

“And I would have been alone to try to barricade.” Catarina shook her head. “Liam is right. Weare good team.”

“I’m glad you’re both safe.” Agent Smith gave a begrudging nod of respect. “We’ll be in touchabout what protection looks like now that Pyotr’s not an immediate threat.”

Then, as if she’d given up the role of Catarina’s protector for a brief moment, Agent Smith’sfrown grew a little softer as if she didn’t disapprove nearly as much about Catarina’s wedding as sheneeded to appear. “Congratulations.”

Catarina’s heart swelled with gratitude as she tugged her husband’s hand and brought him down tosit beside her again. “Thank you.”

“I should really get back inside. Cassie’s a bit concerned about the fact that I went into a combatzone just down the hall.” Liam looked back toward the apartment complex where they could all see afigure in the window with her arms crossed over her chest as she paced back and forth.

Catarina stood, the blanket falling from her shoulders as she wrapped her arms around his neck.“Thank you for coming.”

Liam gave her a loose hug with affection coloring his tone. “Hey, you guys get some rest thisweekend, okay?”

When Catarina let go of him, Alan offered the Air Force officer a handshake. His voice washoarse as he managed to say what was on his mind. “Thanks, buddy.”

Liam held the handshake a little longer than he might have otherwise. “Things like this tend to putthings back into perspective. You come back from your honeymoon rested and ready to be my bestman, you hear me?”

Alan’s lips lifted in a tiny smile. “Yes, sir.”

ONLY AFTER THE PARAMEDICS had cleared everyone of their injuries and the apartmentcomplex became devoid of all the activity that had come on the heels of Pyotr’s attack did Catarinaallow herself to wrap her arms around Alan’s waist and lean her cheek on his chest.

There was something comforting about the way his heart beat against her ear after everything theday had thrown at them.

Alan kissed the top of her head as he held her. “What do you think? Should we head to Denver, ordo you just want to go to my house?”

The sun was still quite high in the sky, but the idea of making the decision of whether to stay or go

felt too big given everything she had been through that day.“You choose.” She inhaled the scent of him, and it calmed her even more. “I trust you.”Alan straightened with the trust, apparently uncomfortable with someone that stood between them.

“Look, Catarina, about what you said back there in front of everyone—”She frowned. “What did I say?”He gave her a gentle, amused smile. “That you needed me. It was sweet, but we don’t have an

audience anymore. I think before we make our decision, we need to talk about what you’re going todo when the DIA gives you permission to be yourself again.”

Catarina made him look at her. “Listen closely, Alan. I will never change my mind about this.”He flinched before he met her gaze. “I’m ready...”“If DIA says I can resume my life, I will book flight to Kiev. Hug my brother. Kiss my mother.”He nodded as if he’d expected that answer. “That’s what I thought.”She raised a finger. “I am not finished yet, Alan Barrows.”“Okay...”She reached for his left hand. Caressed the white band on his finger. “My family will want to

meet my husband. I will be pleased to tell them something good came from all this bad.”Alan’s green eyes lightened with hope though he didn’t appear to fully believe her. “Look, I’m

sure there are people out there who will be happy you’re back. You can be free to dance again...”“You are such good man to think of what I will want to do when I am free to be self again.” She

hugged him tightly, then stepped back so she could look him in the eyes. “I want children. Will behard to be prima ballerina in Russia if man I want to be father to children is in America. Will be hardto be world famous dancer if I am kind of mother who would teach children to bake cookies.”

Alan shook his head. “I would never stand in your way. If you want to live in Kiev or Moscow,I’d make it work. And if you’re a world famous dancer, maybe I’m the dad who teaches the kids tobake cookies.”

“I will always love you for offer, but I am not going back to stage.” Catarina caressed his neckwith one hand. “Instead, I will teach dance here. Perhaps audition for smaller roles in communityproduction. Maybe start community ballet company.”

For the first time in all the time she’d tried to express her feelings to her husband, Alan’sexpression seemed to show how much he truly trusted her words. “You want to stay here?”

She bunched up some of the fabric of his shirt in her fists as she leaned up and kissed him. Shepoured all the love she felt for this unexpected protector and sweetheart she hadn’t known she neededin her life. “I will stay with you, Alan. Wherever we go, I wish only to be with you.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Alan whispered as he nuzzled his face in her hair.She tightened her hold on her husband as a wave of gratitude for the way their story had turned out

crashed over her.“Now that we’ve got what happens when you’re free to be whoever you are again out of the

way,” Alan’s voice was so low that Catarina had to strain to hear him. “Maybe we can reopen thediscussion about those sleeping arrangements...”

Despite the nightmare she and her husband had just lived through, Catarina just threw back herhead and laughed.

“G

Chapter Fifteen

Alanood morning, husband.”

Alan walked out of the bedroom, his hair somewhat mussed after sleeping and his beard yetuntrimmed for the day. Three weeks they’d been married, and the sight of Catarina barefoot in one ofhis button-down shirts still made him do a double-take. Especially when she was making oatmealwith cranberries and apricots and all sorts of delicious fruits while Rochester yipped happily at herankles.

Careful not to step on his dog, Alan walked over and kissed his wife’s cheek. “Good morning, mydear.”

Though things weren’t perfect as they were still awaiting the DIA pronouncement that Catarinawas no longer in danger, there was a great deal more hope in the future. They’d even started talkingabout things like when they wanted to start trying to have a baby. Both were eager, and yet neither feltcomfortable really considering having kids if there was a chance the DIA could show up on theirdoorstep and insist on taking them away.

It was a delicate balance, but it had worked out so far.Catarina didn’t put down the ladle as she turned in his embrace and greeted him with a longer,

more passionate kiss. “Did you sleep well?”He lowered his voice as he bent his head to plant a half dozen kisses in the crook of her neck.

“You know I did.”She blushed in pure pleasure, though she stopped him from taking his kisses any further. “We are

expected at Cassie’s apartment today. Liam has invited us for lunch so you can talk of best manduties.”

Alan reluctantly took the bowl of oatmeal his wife had prepared and walked to the breakfasttable. “Are we sure that can’t be done in some kind of email?”

Catarina looked up from where she pet Rochester and fed him a little crunchy biscuit. “They arefriends. We are going.”

Knowing that was the end of the discussion with his wife, he nodded. “So, lunch with Cassie andLiam to talk about their upcoming wedding. Anything else on the docket?”

She shook her head. “Until then, is just you and me.”Alan grinned. “Perfect. Then, there won’t be any interruptions.”Catarina laughed as if she could read his mind. “You promised that would only be one time...”He pretended to be put out. “But we have two hours before we have to go. Just enough time to

start getting in the groove.”She pointed a finger at him, though her admonition lost some of its weight with the way she

smiled. “Just enough time for you to pretend you forgot our appointment.”“But it’s the Dick Van Dyke Show!” Alan threw his hands up in the air as if she didn’t understand.

“It’s a classic.”She rolled her eyes as she took a bite of her own oatmeal. “They are all classics, Alan. You only

watch classic sitcom television channel.”Alan tried to look away from her. “Your point?”She shook her head as she acquiesced. “You may watch after you are dressed, and we will not

argue when I say it is time to turn off.”Alan grinned. “Deal.”

“SO, BE HONEST WITH me, because I know Liam’s going to try to make us take dance lessons.How bad am I?”

“You are not bad. You merely lack confidence.”Alan gave her a good natured frown. “I told you not to lie to me. I know I stepped on your toes at

least once at that Air Force dinner.”Catarina chuckled. “My toes have had far worse done to them. Trust me. I will be fine.”Alan tucked her close as they reached the top of the stairs. “Yeah, the whole ballet thing. You’re

going to have to tell me what it’s like to dance on pointe.”“Is not difficult to imagine. Try to look elegant while your toes grind into a wooden block in your

shoe.”Alan grimaced as he knocked on the apartment door. “Okay, you’re not allowed to say you’re just

a poor Ukrainian girl next time I say you’re impressive.”Catarina looked like she was about to speak when the door opened and Dr. Cassie Lambert

appeared on the other side. “Oh, you’re early...”Alan checked his watch. “Only a little. Are you going to try to tell us we have to leave and come

back?”Liam appeared behind her, hiding something behind his back. “Of course not. Besides, the last

time I did that, you came back with her.”Alan eyed his wife with a somber expression that didn’t match the teasing tone he was going for.

“Seeing as how I am taken this time, we can’t risk it.”Catarina rolled her eyes even as Alan laughed.Cassie looked behind her with a sigh. “Oh, all right. Not everyone’s here yet, but I guess since

you’re here already—”Alan exchanged a look with his wife, confused. “Did we miss the memo? I thought it was just

going to be the four of us. Seeing as I’m married, I kind of thought the days of being set up by you twowere finally over.”

“Hey, you met some really nice girls,” Cassie countered.“Yes, I did.” Alan nodded. “And more often than not, I never heard from them again.”Before Cassie could respond, Liam opened the door more widely. “It’s not a set up, Alan, but it

was supposed to be a surprise.”Alan’s eyebrows shot up as he caught sight of the living room which was decorated with

balloons. On the counter between the kitchen and the living room, there sat a large sheet cakeproclaiming the words Congratulations, Newlyweds!

“Oh, my dear, you’re even lovelier in person.” Alan and Catarina turned just in time for her to getswallowed up in an embrace.

Alan’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he looked first at his mother, then at her foot whichwas in a thick gray boot. “Mom? What are you doing here? Should you be standing?”

“Oh, she’s fine. She just wants to give her new daughter-in-law a proper welcome to the family.She’ll sit down once we’re ready to really party.” The tall, rail-thin man with thinning brown andgray hair opened his arms to Catarina. “Don’t be shy, little lady. You’re family now.”

The love with which Alan’s wife was welcomed by his parents made him smile. He hadn’t had to

explain to them that she hadn’t seen her own parents in years for them to make her feel like she wastheir long-lost daughter.

It made him proud to be their son.Catarina turned to her in-laws with a pleased smile on her lips. “Is so good to finally meet you.”“Even though you did try to suggest that Catarina was just trying to get a green card.” Alan’s ears

turned pink at the memory.The day after their wedding, Alan and Catarina had called his parents to let them know the good

news. It had been the first sign of how different things between them could be now that Pyotr was inDIA custody, and Alan looked forward to the day when the shoe would be on the other foot. Hecouldn’t wait to meet the woman who had raised Catarina and passed down all those fantasticUkrainian recipes he enjoyed regularly.

Alan ignored his parents’ protests and turned to their hosts. “Thank you for this. You didn’t haveto do any of this after helping us out with our wedding and honeymoon.”

“Oh, nonsense.” Cassie handed the newlyweds a couple cups with a bubbly colored drink in it.“We’ve been wanting to celebrate the two of you for weeks now. It just took time, that’s all.”

Alan looked around the room as he took a sip of his punch. “I thought you said not everyone washere. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to believe we matter to more than just four people in the world, butI can’t think of anyone off the top of my head...”

Liam checked a notification on his phone. “Actually, the last guest should be here in just a fewseconds.”

Alan felt his wife’s eyes on him and he shrugged as if to tell her again that he wasn’t sure who themissing guests could be.

Liam crossed the apartment and opened the door after a single knock.From beside him, Catarina’s breath hitched as she caught sight of the man on the other side of the

door. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why she was so pleased to see him. After all, hewas lithe and tall like she was, and their smiles matched in a way only found in siblings.

“Ivan, glad you could come.” Liam shook the man’s hand with a respectful nod.Ivan mumbled a thank you in his deep, rumbling voice. Only then did he lock eyes with his sister.Catarina let go of her husband’s hand in order to wrap her brother in a tight embrace. “Ivan. Has

been too long.”“So long you married without word.” Ivan’s somber expression broke into a smile as he reached

over and shook Alan’s hand. “You are the reason she looks so happy today?”Alan shared a smile with his wife before he answered. “More likely she’s the reason I look so

happy today.”With tears shining in her eyes, Catarina turned to Liam. “How did you manage it?”Liam shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he’s here now.”Ivan gave Liam a grateful smile. “For good. I will find job in Colorado. Stay near sister and

husband.”Cassie cleared her throat. “I can see if any of my friends know of any jobs around the area. Since

they’re all doctors, the jobs probably wouldn’t be much more than janitorial work at this point, butit’s a place to start.”

Catarina patted her brother on the back. “Would be good to see you in hospital. Is where youbelong.”

Ivan nodded in gratitude toward the surgeon. “Thank you for offer. Is very kind.”Catarina threw her arms around her brother a second time, unsurprisingly emotional about the

whole endeavor. “Is so good to see you.”His stoic expression softened as he held her. “And you. You look well.”Catarina reached for Alan’s hand which he gave her without hesitation, pleased to know that she

had one more piece of her life back. “Every day gets better and better.”

I

Epilogue

Ivanvan Petrovka sat in the backseat of the car as he studied the white building in front of them. Itlooked so austere. So...He searched for the word he could use to describe this white-faced display of wealth and

classism.The word finally came to him. Rich.Everything about this place, from the flawless grassy hills to white fences that were just tall

enough to remind people this was not for everyone to enjoy and yet open enough that everyone couldsee exactly what they were missing.

Perhaps it was his Ukrainian heritage or the time he had spent in Billings, Montana, but the vulgardisplay of wealth at Liam’s parents’ country club made his skin crawl.

His sister, who looked paler in his opinion than she ought to, turned to face him from her place inthe front passenger seat of the car. “Will so strange to introduce you as Ivan.”

She pronounced the name the way they would have in Kiev, ee-VAHN. Not the way the Americansdid. EYE-vun.

It was one of the few comforts of having her call her by this name instead of Adrien, the namehe’d been given at birth.

“Is not easy to hear you called Catarina, either.” He always had to think for a moment before hecalled her by her birth name. Aleksandra.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to hear what your birth name is. Not knowing is driving me crazy.” Hissister’s husband Alan was quite a bit more cheerful than Ivan was used to, but that didn’t reallybother Ivan. Not when he saw the way his sister practically glowed whenever he was around.

Now, if only he could figure out why his sister who was so blessedly happy with her husbandlooked as pale as she did.

He may not be the doctor he thought he would be at this stage in his life, but that didn’t mean hedidn’t still worry when he saw something was clearly not right.

The three of them exited the car as a curvy woman dressed in a belted sage green dress walkedpast them. Her rich, brown curls bounced on her shoulders as she carried a platinum blonde toddlertoward the country club. “Come on, Laney, honey. Uncle Liam asked you to save a dance for him. Youlike dancing, don’t you?”

The toddler frowned, her fists clenched at her sides. “No!”As if she could feel Alan’s eyes on her, the woman turned and gave him an embarrassed smile.

“She didn’t get to wear her dinosaur pajamas, so she doesn’t want to go to the party.”Ivan could relate to the child. He wasn’t completely sure why he was here, himself.Fortunately, Alan intervened and looked at the tired mother. “Uncle Liam, huh?” He extended a

hand. “I’m Alan Barrows. The best man.”The woman’s expression brightened as she juggled the toddler to shake his hand. “Marissa

Lambert-Pierce. Matron of honor.”“And sister of bride.” It shouldn’t have surprised him that his sister knew people at the party

she’d never actually met. She’d seemed to become close friends with Liam’s fiancée in the weekssince she’d gotten married.

Marissa smiled past Alan. “Let me guess, Catarina?”The former ballerina took a step forward and Alan wrapped an arm around her waist. “My wife.”Marissa grinned. “Yes, I heard about your wedding. Cassie was impressed you managed to pull it

off with as little fuss as you did.”Ivan squinted at the woman who seemed to be just a little older than Alan. The way she said as

little fuss seemed to be a backhanded compliment, and he wasn’t sure he liked it.Catarina looked behind her and motioned for Ivan to step forward. “This is my brother, Ivan. He

is new in town, and is very shy.”Ivan rolled his eyes. He wasn’t shy. He just wasn’t as quick to trust these people as Catarina was.Marissa nodded as the toddler in her arms squirmed. “Welcome to Denver. My husband and the

other three kids are inside already, but as I said before—”As if on cue, the toddler yelled in her stepmother’s ear. “I no wanna go!”Marissa winced as if she had just lost some of her hearing.“Uh, mind if I take a crack at it?” Ivan watched as Alan gestured toward the small girl.Marissa’s eyes widened. “If by take a crack at it, you mean try your magic on my three-year-old,

I’m ready to try anything.”Alan chuckled and leaned in to look at the blonde. “Hi there, Laney, I’m a friend of your uncle

Liam’s.”There was a tiny spark of curiosity in the girl’s crystal blue eyes. “Unca Yiam?”Alan nodded as he raised a finger. “I think your outfit’s missing something. Let me just go to my

car—”Ivan exchanged a questioning look with his sister, but she just watched Alan in admiration as he

jogged to the car and grabbed the fedora from the front seat. When he’d caught back up to the smallgathering, he placed the hat atop the girl’s head. “Now, that’s what I’m talking about. You, little miss,will be turning heads with that. I guarantee it.”

The three-year-old turned to Marissa, and the hat slipped so that it covered the toddler’s eyes.Unfortunately, even Ivan’s heart had to melt at the sight. “Go party, Mama!”

Marissa grinned her thanks to the strangers before she turned back toward the entrance to thecountry club. “Yes, ma’am.”

Catarina leaned her cheek on her husband’s shoulder as they walked toward the building again. “Ilove how good you are with children.”

Alan kissed the top of her head as a gentle smile flitted onto his lips. “I like children.”Ivan glanced away from the newlyweds’ conversation, feeling that he owed his sister and her new

husband a little privacy.As he looked away, however, he caught sight of a blonde woman speaking animatedly into a

telephone. Her hand seemed almost to fly into the air as her soprano voice carried on the wind. “Areyou kidding me? I go out of town for my brother’s engagement party, and now, they want a callbackaudition? I thought I tanked it.”

Half the words she used didn’t mean anything to him, and Ivan turned back to the entrance of thecountry club where he held the door open for his sister and her husband.

“No, you tell them that I’ll read for it, but they’ve got to give me until tomorrow night to get backin town.”

Ivan didn’t want to eavesdrop, but the woman’s voice was so animated that he almost couldn’thelp himself.

Of course, she was clearly one of the people comfortable at this sort of place with her fitted white

dress, diamond tennis bracelet, large diamond earrings, and tall heels.He hadn’t realized she’d hung up yet until the blonde walked up to him. “So, whose side are you

from? Bride or groom?”Ivan almost swallowed his tongue, making it difficult to speak. Her eyes sparkled in the sunlight,

as blue as sapphires. He hadn’t seen eyes that blue in all his life.She applied another layer of bright red lipstick to her full lips. “Not a talker, huh? That’s okay.

Apparently, my parents spent the first year and a half of my life trying to get me to talk, but the minuteI started they couldn’t get me to stop.”

She put her lipstick away and extended a limp handshake toward him. “I’m Andrea Harris. Liam’smy brother. Feel like telling me your name?”

Though he was at least partially mesmerized by the young woman’s manner, Ivan hesitated. Herbright-eyed performance as a young ingenue seemed to be too perfect and too rehearsed and scriptednot to be an act of some kind.

He called upon his deepest register to intimidate her at least a little. “I am Ivan. From Ukraine.”The act slipped for a second as Andrea stared at him. “Ivan. From Ukraine.”Then, she laughed and smacked his arm. “Oh, that’s good. You’ve got the accent and everything.

Are you one of Liam’s friends? Did he put you up to this?”Ivan frowned at the woman. Did she not intimidate easily? There were old women in Russia who

would have gone running if he had said those words to them.She shook her head and laughed again. “Ivan from Ukraine. I gotta tell Liam he’s getting better.”

Then, she leaned in a little closer. “Truth be told, I was kind of avoiding this shindig because of—well, that doesn’t matter—but that laugh really helped.”

Then, she patted his cheek and walked away, leaving a whiff of expensive perfume in her wake.Ivan stayed outside in the fresh air for a moment longer to let his mind work through everything

before he was prepared to go back inside. It only took him a few minutes to decide that he didn’t carewhat his sister said in the future. He was never coming to any of these American parties again. Nomatter what they claimed to celebrate.

They were just too confusing. And the women were like witches, casting spells wherever theywalked with their perfume and blue eyes...

No, it was better off to stay in his apartment alone, where no one could snub his nose in theirriches and he was safe from bewitching American women.

WAcknowledgments

hen I published Sweethearts Old last June, I had a whole plan for this series. I evenconvinced myself that I had already published a book “during quarantine,” so I was positive

the following books wouldn’t be nearly as difficult to write. Then, the pandemic dragged on and on,taking a greater and greater toll on me and my loved ones.

I don’t say any of this to make it sound like I have won any awards or anything by getting thisfinished. I just mean to say that all the people who have supported me through this pulled perhaps athousand times the usual weight to get this book in on time.

My editor Daniellé Dimond gave timely and particularly upbeat feedback about this story. Fellowauthor Jessica L. Elliott read probably three-quarters of this manuscript and served as part critiquepartner, part cheerleader. My virtual assistant, Ainsley Higgins, not only took tasks off my plate so Icould focus on this manuscript but also provided a fresh pair of eyes and added motivating commentslike, Nothing needed to change here. I just think this is a great line.

My reader group, Celebrate Sweet Romance with Rachel A. Andersen, on Facebook has been thesource of much inspiration and encouragement throughout all the hills and valleys of writing thisbook. Many thanks to them!

Long time family friend Amy Allison introduced me to a Ukrainian-born Russian translator,Roman, who answered questions about how English would sound coming from a non-native speaker,and provided positive feedback about the direction Catarina’s dialect was going.

Though not every member of my family has read my books, nearly all have given some degree ofsupport for my authoring endeavors. I have to particularly thank my brother Daniel for wholeheartedlyclaiming being the inspiration for Alan’s character.

This book is a work of love, trust, and perseverance... Which is oddly appropriate because thoseare exactly the attributes at the core of who Alan and Catarina are together and independently.

One last word of thanks to you, my dear readers. Without you, I would not have the courage tocontinue. My words would be locked inside for fear that no one would appreciate them. Pleasecontinue to read and review. Your kind and generous words have fueled many a late-night writingfrenzy.

Books in the Lucky Sweethearts SeriesSweethearts Old - Book OneSweethearts New - Book Two

Sweethearts Borrowed - Book ThreeSweethearts Blue - Book Four

Need a Little Christmas SeriesA Little Christmas Pretense - Book OneA Little Christmas Conflict - Book Two

Other books by Rachel A. AndersenBackward Blessings - Blessings of Love Book Six

Birthdays and Boyfriends - a noveletteRead on to learn more about Sweethearts Blue, book four in the Lucky

Sweethearts Series, coming summer 2021!

SSweethearts Blue

he dreads going home with a fiery passion. He can’t imagine being able to return. Startingfrom scratch may seem daunting, that is until you find someone who understands.

Andrea Harris has seen more loss in the last couple of years than she ever believed possible.First, cancer steals her older sister. Then, her body betrays her and destroys any hope she has of theacting role she’d been working toward her whole career. She returns home to write her next chapter,but nothing her family does to try and ease the transition can shake the chip from her shoulder.

Ivan Petrovka's life is far from perfect as a new immigrant to the United States. Between studyingfor his English as a Second Language class and his US citizenship test, Ivan has plenty to keep himoccupied. But then, he crosses paths with the blonde actress with unspeakably blue eyes, and he can'tshake her from her thoughts.

Though they're from different worlds, neither can deny how drawn they feel to the other. Though itseems impossible, love seems to call to both of the Sweethearts Blue.

If you like stories of emotional growth and sweet romance, like those written by Robyn Carr andDebbie Macomber, check out this sweet second chance romance. A "spectacular new find" with vividcharacters, relatable emotion, and a charming voice, Rachel A. Andersen's books will have youcoming back for more.

Inspired by the wedding rhyme, "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed,Something Blue," the Lucky Sweethearts series follows four couples on their way to the altar.Though each book can be read as a standalone, readers may stumble on spoilers when books areread out of order due to recurring characters.

OAbout the Author

ne of Rachel Andersen's favorite memories in college was when a music theory professorturned one of her exams back to her. With a twinkle in his eye, he said, “I can always tell that

it’s your paper because you have a story written on the back.” She was just killing time after the eartraining and aural skills portions of the test (where he played notes and the students were to writedown the interval or melody), but it hinted at a larger love. She loves stories! She loves reading them,she loves hearing them, she loves telling them, and she loves living them!

Growing up as the oldest of nine children, she used stories to make mundane (and sometimesdisgusting) tasks fly by like when she quoted Disney movies for her youngest siblings while shechanged diapers or got them dressed. Though the youngest sibling is a senior in high school, thequotes she pulled out of thin air are used as family jokes that rock the house with laughter.

Stories propelled her through difficult days in college. They sustained her through the stress ofstudent teaching. They were her favorite time of day in elementary and early childhood classrooms.

Her only hope is that these stories bring you as much joy and pleasure as they bring her!Follow Rachel Andersen on:

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