T he W ellspring of J oy

Sue Bohlin

www.suebohlin.com

sue@probe.org

“Whoever believes in Me. . .streams of living water will flow from within him.”

John 8:38

Shame

Guilt: I did something bad

Shame: I am something bad

There’s something wrong with me

Shame

Healthy shame1. Modesty2. Awareness of not measuring

up to our true self Unhealthy, undeserved shame:

believing the lies that deny what God says is true

Sources of Shame

Parents Peers Self Society

The Message of Shame

“I am defective and I am afraid I will be rejected and abandoned.”

Healing from Shame

Fear: I am unacceptable Antidote: God says I am accepted!

Shame? Grace!

The healing for shame is to experience grace by making a choice to receive God’s acceptance as His gift.

I am accepted in the Beloved (Eph. 1:6) The Father has accepted me (Rom. 14:3) Christ has accepted me (Rom. 15:7)

Shame

“We are accepted wholesale. Accepted with no possibility of being rejected. Accepted once and accepted forever. Accepted at the ultimate depth of our being. We are given what we have longed for in every nook and nuance of every relationship.” --Louis Smedes

Self-Pity

Self-Pity

Self-Pity

Not a primary feeling (sadness, grief, loss)

One response to legitimate negative feelings: “Poor me!”

Another response: trust God Body odor Grief and sadness are not sinful

Self-Pity Sadness | Self-pity Sadness: “Life in a fallen world hurts.” Self-pity: “I don’t deserve this.” Antidote to self-pity:

I deserve nothing but hell Life in a fallen world hurts; this is my share Bad things happen, good things happen God is still good I will trust Him

Unforgiveness

Has anyone ever hurt you? An arrow was lodged in your heart. Arrows generate lies Arrows generate pain

What forgiveness feels like

Forgiveness

Forgiving: letting go of my right to see you suffer for what you did to me.

Removing your hands from the other person’s throat

Unforgiveness

Forgive: to let go and send away Acknowledging the offense and then

transferring the offender over to God in our hearts

Deliberately choosing not to hold the offense against the offender and not to bring it up again

Unforgiveness: refusing to let go of an offense Christ has already paid for

“Hot potato”

Letting Go

Misunderstandings about Forgiveness

“Forgive and Forget” Forgiving is not trust Forgiving is not reconciliation Forgiving does not mean what they

did was OK. Forgiving doesn’t mean the offender

gets away with it.

What Forgiveness Means

Forgiveness means acknowledging the offense and then transferring the offender over to God in our hearts.

Forgiving someone means we deliberately choose to not to hold his offense against him and not to bring it up again.

Steps to Forgiveness

1. Acknowledge the offense

2. Turn the person over to God to repay them

Obstacles to the Wellspring of Joy

Shame: Receive God’s gift of acceptance

Self-pity: Repent of your selfishness and choose to trust God in your pain

Unforgiveness: Take them off your hook and put them on Jesus’ hook

The Jesus Jail