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SELforSchools.com
A HELPFUL TOOLKIT FOR TEACHERS, PARENTS,
VOLUNTEERS, CHURCHES, SCHOOLS & SHELTERS
TALKING WITH KIDS
DEAUNG WITH CRISIS
- Organized by Grade Level- Easy-To-Follow Instructions- Print Only What You Need
A Crisis Response Resource from - Leaps
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction 2 3 4
- Yes, You Can Share This- Important Lessons- Dealing with Reality 5
5 How to Use This Guide
Lessons in Three Levels 6
7 - 25 26 - 52
- For Beginners: K - 2nd grade- For Lower Maturity: 3rd - 5th
- For Higher Maturity: 6th - 12th 53 - 99
Bonus Content: Where's The Grit 100
2 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
A Crisis Response Resource from
INTRODUCTION When bad things happen, how do you explain them to students (or children and adolescents)? This is the question so many educators are facing in the wake of a terrible incident right here in our own district. Right now, in the days and weeks after the crisis, kids are scared, confused and unsure of what will come next. Many are dealing with the loss of a friend, teacher or family member.
The lessons in this guide are part of your LEAPS program, which is the SEL partner for Broward County Public Schools and has already been providing many educators in Broward with helpful resources to do this. Leaps is data-driven and evidence-based. It has been proven for more than a decade.
This guide is designed for people in a position to talk with kids from kindergarten through high school about a difficult situation like what happened at Stoneman Douglas High School.
• Teachers• Parents• Volunteers
• Local Leaders• Schools• Churches & Shelters
Use these tools to talk with the kids and help them work through their own thoughts, feelings and experiences around the recent incident. You can help them gain real perspective on how to move forward from here.
3 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
A Crisis Response Resource from
YES, YOU CAN SHARE THIS We put this guide together to try and help the leaders in Broward County who are helping families and children cope with this horrific incident in an emotionally healthy manner.
These 12 lesson plans are specifically selected for difficult situations such as this - two lessons at the Beginner level for children K thru 2, four are for Lower (or intermediate) Maturity students in grades 3 - 5, and six lessons for Higher Maturity students in grades 6 thru 12.
These lessons are a part of the 242 total lesson plans that Leaps provides for educators in Broward County Public Schools. If putting this guide in your hands makes it easier for you to help the kids in your classroom, church, home or shelter – what more could we want?
You can print the lesson plans, share them freely with others that are also working to help families and children affected by the incident.
Please Note - It is important to state that these materials are copyrighted and cannot be distributed by sale or commerce. You can use them and share them. You cannot sell access to them. These lessons are provided with goodwill and love for fellow citizens and in the hope that children affected by this incident will find strength, resilience and helpful lessons in the experience.
4 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
A Crisis Response Resource from
IMPORTANT LESSONSAt Leaps, we know how important it is that kids have an opportunity to talk these things through. Parents can use these plans. But in these difficult times, parents are not always available to do so. They are also struggling.
It is key, right now, that students understand that trying times may still be ahead but that if they prepare themselves mentally and emotionally they can not only make it through these times but can also be a help to others as well.
We’ve been helping people engage children with these discussions for years and we’re here to help if you have any questions. You can get help at SELforSchools.com anytime.
It is also important to note that even students at other schools in the district may still be deeply affected by the aftermath of such a significant event. This is likely to be an event they will never forget. They might even have family members or friends staying with them. Or maybe they just hear about this crisis and all the related devastation on the news or in conversations between grownups in their home.
They might have family members or friends staying with them. Or maybe they just hear about this crisis and related devastation on the news or in conversations between grownups in their home.
They know it’s a big deal.
5 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
A Crisis Response Resource from
DEALING WITH REALITY It is more important than ever to make sure they know that they have people they can talk to, that it is safe to talk about their feelings and that they are not alone.
Most importantly, kids need to learn how to discuss and address their own experience and emotions. How to learn and grow from the changes that have come to them at this time. How to make sense of what has happened and how to talk about it with their teachers, parents and friends.
HOW TO USE THIS GUIDEWe have provided a collection of 12 lesson plans in this one guide. Don’t worry– you don’t need to do all of them.
• All of the lessons are organized by grade level.• Use what you need, save the rest for another time• All lessons are in PDF format, with standard 8.5 x 11 pages• You can access any lesson by scrolling to another page or by clicking on
the title and it will open for you to save and print or share with others.
6 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
A Crisis Response Resource from
LESSONS IN THREE LEVELSLEAPS organizes lesson plans by grade and maturity level. Use your best judgement to choose what is best for the kids you are working with.
LEVEL 1: BEGINNERS Kindergarten - 2nd GradeThese 2 lessons are in a story format featuring our Leaps Characters. (for print use pages 7 - 25)
LEVEL 2: Lower Maturity 3rd Grade - 5th Grade These 4 lessons include a follow-along worksheet for kids that are not yet socially independent (for print use pages 26 - 52)
LEVEL 3: Higher Maturity 6th Grade - 12th Grade These 6 lessons include follow-along worksheets for kids that are more socially independent (for print use pages 53 - 99)
7 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
A Crisis Response Resource from
LESSONS FOR BEGINNER S KINDERGARTEN THROUGH 2nd GRADE
Self Control - What It MeansThis lesson will help kids turn the concept of self-control into something they can understand, identify, and practice.
Knowing Your EmotionsThis lesson will teach the students to identify and name different emotions based upon feeling and presentation.
NOTE:Both of these lesson plans have been provided in full on the following
18 pages. They are formatted in landscape view for use in the classroom. We have turned them for ease of printing.
If you want to view these lesson plans online, you can also click the title of each one above to access them individually for viewing or download.
OR, simply log in to your LEAPS account anytime.
BEGI
NN
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| E
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TIO
NS
& A
CTIO
NS:
KN
OW
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YOU
R EM
OTI
ON
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
1
THE GO
AL
THE OB
JEC
TIV
E
VO
CA
BU
LA
RY
Em
otio
ns
com
e n
atu
rall
y fo
r st
ude
nts
bu
t u
nde
rsta
ndi
ng
wh
at t
hey
are
an
d h
ow t
o co
ntr
ol
them
oft
en d
oesn
’t. T
he
stu
den
ts n
eed
to u
nde
rsta
nd
wh
at e
mot
ion
s th
ey a
re e
xper
ien
cin
g an
d h
ow t
hos
e em
otio
ns
are
perc
eive
d by
oth
ers.
Ped
ag
og
y
&In
struc
tio
n
WH
Y W
E AR
E LE
ARN
ING
: You
ng
stu
den
ts c
an h
ave
diff
icu
lty
iden
tify
ing
emot
ion
s an
d u
nde
rsta
ndi
ng
how
th
ey a
re s
how
ing
emot
ion
s.
WH
AT W
E AR
E LE
ARN
ING
: Th
is l
esso
n w
ill
hel
p th
e st
ude
nts
un
ders
tan
d h
ow o
ther
peo
ple
show
thei
r em
otio
ns
and
how
th
ey s
how
th
eir
own
em
otio
ns.
HO
W W
E AR
E LE
ARN
ING
: Th
is l
esso
n h
as a
sh
ort
stor
y fo
llow
ed b
y an
ext
ensi
ve g
ame
of e
mot
ion
alre
cogn
itio
n a
nd
mim
ick
ing.
Th
e le
sson
en
ds w
ith
a s
impl
e ch
alle
nge
to
the
stu
den
ts.
HO
W W
E AR
E GO
ING
TO U
SE W
HAT
WE
LEAR
NED
: T
his
les
son
wil
l ch
alle
nge
th
e st
ude
nts
to
begi
n r
eadi
ng
peop
le’s
emot
ion
s.
WRA
P U
P :
Th
is s
ecti
on o
f th
e le
sson
res
tate
s w
hat
has
bee
n l
earn
ed, w
hy
the
skil
l sh
ould
be
use
d, a
nd
a re
cap
for
the
stu
den
ts’ p
aren
ts.
Th
is p
age
can
go
hom
e w
ith
th
e st
ude
nts
fol
low
ing
the
less
on.
Emot
ion
• E
xpre
ssio
n •
Ton
e1
Th
is l
esso
n w
ill
teac
h t
he
stu
den
ts t
o id
enti
fy
and
nam
e di
ffer
ent e
mot
ion
s ba
sed
upo
n f
eeli
ng
and
pres
enta
tion
.
www.selforsch
ools.com
BEGI
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& A
CTIO
NS:
KN
OW
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YOU
R EM
OTI
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K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
2
TE
LL
YO
UR
ST
UD
EN
TS
TH
E F
OL
LO
WIN
G S
TO
RY
:
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i lo
ves
to s
mil
e.
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i sm
iles
bec
ause
sh
e is
hap
py.
Sm
ilin
g is
a s
ign
of
bein
g h
appy
. In
fac
t, M
rs. T
rust
y to
ld S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
that
sm
ilin
g is
an
exp
ress
ion
of
hap
pin
ess.
Mrs
. Tru
sty
is r
eall
y sm
art.
S
he
told
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i al
l ab
out
expr
essi
ons
and
emot
ion
s.
Em
otio
ns
are
the
feel
ings
peo
ple
hav
e an
d ex
pres
sion
s ar
e h
ow t
hey
sh
ow t
hei
r em
otio
ns.
Wh
en S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
was
hap
py,
she
smil
ed.
Wh
en S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
was
sad
, h
er f
ace
droo
ped
a li
ttle
. W
hen
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i w
as
angr
y, h
er e
yes
squ
inte
d a
litt
le.
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i w
as r
eall
y su
rpri
sed
to f
ind
out
that
her
fac
e w
as t
elli
ng
ever
yon
e w
hat
em
otio
n s
he
was
hav
ing.
M
rs.
Tru
sty
chal
len
ged
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i to
wat
ch 2
0 pe
ople
an
d fi
gure
ou
t w
hat
em
otio
ns
they
are
exp
ress
ing.
S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
nee
ds y
our
hel
p. W
ill
you
hel
p S
mil
ing
Sam
mi?
WH
YW
E A
RE
LE
AR
NIN
G
WH
ATW
E A
RE
LE
AR
NIN
G: S
TO
RY
TIM
E
••• E
xpla
in t
o th
e st
ude
nts
th
at, “
Em
otio
ns
are
very
nat
ura
l. A
n e
mot
ion
is
wh
at w
e fe
el.
For
exa
mpl
e, h
appi
nes
s is
an
em
otio
n.
So
is b
ein
g sa
d or
an
gry
or w
orri
ed o
r sc
ared
. T
hes
e ar
e al
l em
otio
ns
and
we
all
feel
th
em a
ll t
he
tim
e. E
mot
ion
s ar
e a
part
of
all
of o
ur
live
s.
•••
We
nee
d to
lea
rn h
ow t
o id
enti
fy o
ur
emot
ion
s an
d th
e em
otio
ns
of o
ther
peo
ple.
W
e n
eed
to b
e ab
le t
o lo
ok a
t so
meo
ne’
s fa
ce a
nd
see
if t
hey
ar
e h
appy
, sad
, an
gry,
or
ups
et.
We
do t
his
by
read
ing
thei
r ex
pres
sion
s. T
his
mea
ns
we
can
act
ual
ly l
ook
at
thei
r fa
ce a
nd
see
wh
at e
mot
ion
th
ey
hav
e ri
ght
then
.
••• W
e ca
n a
lso
list
en t
o so
meo
ne’
s vo
ice
and
un
ders
tan
d w
hat
kin
d of
em
otio
n t
hey
are
hav
ing.
If
they
are
hap
py t
hen
th
e to
ne
of t
hei
r vo
ice
wil
l so
un
d h
appy
. If
th
ey a
re m
ad t
he
ton
e w
ill
not
be
as p
leas
ant.
Th
e to
ne
of s
omeo
ne’
s vo
ice
mea
ns
we
can
hea
r em
otio
n i
n w
hat
th
ey a
re s
ayin
g.”
www.selforsch
ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| E
MO
TIO
NS
& A
CTIO
NS:
KN
OW
ING
YOU
R EM
OTI
ON
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
3
TEAC
HER
S— I
n t
he
foll
owin
g bo
xes
are
20 d
iffe
ren
t em
otio
n f
aces
. C
ut
the
face
s an
d w
ordi
ng
out
and
then
fol
d th
e w
ordi
ng
beh
ind
the
face
.A
sk t
he
stu
den
ts t
o id
enti
fy t
he
emot
ion
th
e fa
ce i
s ex
pres
sin
g. O
nce
th
ey h
ave
iden
tifi
ed t
he
emot
ion
ask
th
em t
o te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ough
t of
th
at
emot
ion
. N
ext
tell
th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
sim
ilar
fac
e an
d to
sh
ow t
hei
r n
eigh
bor
how
th
ey w
ould
exp
ress
th
e em
otio
n t
hey
ju
st i
den
tifi
ed.
Th
is
wil
l h
elp
them
pra
ctic
e id
enti
fyin
g th
e em
otio
n o
n o
ther
peo
ple.
Pra
ise
the
stu
den
ts a
s th
ey w
ork
th
rou
gh t
he
emot
ion
s. I
f th
ey g
et o
ne
wro
ng
then
ta
lk a
bou
t w
hat
cou
ld l
ead
up
to t
he
emot
ion
in
qu
esti
on.
•••
Say
to
the
stu
den
ts: “
All
rig
ht
boys
an
d gi
rls.
Let
’s h
elp
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i fi
gure
ou
t w
hat
em
otio
ns
each
of
thes
e fa
ces
are
expr
essi
ng.
” •
••
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••SA
D ••
eye
s are
dro
opin
g, m
outh
is d
ownt
urne
d
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
sad
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••H
APPY
•• s
mili
ng
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
hap
py f
ace
to t
hei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••M
AD ••
eye
brow
s are
poi
ntin
g do
wn,
eye
s are
squi
ntin
g, te
eth
are
toge
ther
,m
outh
is sn
arle
d
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
mad
fac
e to
th
eir
nei
ghbo
rs.
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ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| E
MO
TIO
NS
& A
CTIO
NS:
KN
OW
ING
YOU
R EM
OTI
ON
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K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
4
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••AN
XIO
US
•• s
wea
ting,
eye
s are
real
ly w
ide,
mou
th is
dow
ntur
ned
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
anxi
ous
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••EM
BARR
ASSE
D ••
che
eks a
re re
d (b
lush
ing)
, mou
th is
clo
sed
and
to th
e si
de,
eyes
are
low
ered
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a em
barrassed
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••W
ORR
IED
•• e
yes b
ulgi
ng, m
outh
ope
n, e
yebr
ows r
aise
d hi
gh
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
wor
ried
fac
e to
th
eir
nei
ghbo
rs.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••SU
RPRI
SED
•• e
yebr
ows a
re h
igh,
eye
s are
wid
e, m
outh
is in
the
shap
e of
an
“O”
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a surprised
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
www.selforsch
ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| E
MO
TIO
NS
& A
CTIO
NS:
KN
OW
ING
YOU
R EM
OTI
ON
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
5
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••M
AD ••
eye
brow
s are
poi
ntin
g do
wn,
eye
s are
squi
ntin
g, te
eth
are
toge
ther
,m
outh
is sn
arle
d
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a mad
fac
e to
th
eir
nei
ghbo
rs.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••SU
RPRI
SED
•• e
yebr
ows a
re h
igh,
eye
s are
wid
e, m
outh
is in
the
shap
e of
an
“O”
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a surprised
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••H
APPY
•• e
yes a
re w
ide,
eye
brow
s are
hig
h, a
nd m
outh
is sm
iling
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
hap
py f
ace
to t
hei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••SA
D ••
the
re is
a te
ar, m
outh
is d
ownt
urne
d
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a sad
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
www.selforsch
ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| E
MO
TIO
NS
& A
CTIO
NS:
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OW
ING
YOU
R EM
OTI
ON
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Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
6
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••SA
D ••
eye
s are
dro
opin
g, m
outh
is d
ownt
urne
d
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a sad
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••H
APPY
•• s
mili
ng
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
hap
py f
ace
to t
hei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••M
AD ••
eye
brow
s are
poi
ntin
g do
wn,
eye
s are
squi
ntin
g, te
eth
are
toge
ther
,m
outh
is sn
arle
d
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a mad
fac
e to
th
eir
nei
ghbo
rs.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••W
ORR
IED
•• e
yes b
ulgi
ng, m
outh
ope
n, e
yebr
ows r
aise
d hi
gh
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a worried
fac
e to
th
eir
nei
ghbo
rs.
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ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| E
MO
TIO
NS
& A
CTIO
NS:
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OW
ING
YOU
R EM
OTI
ON
S
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Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
7
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••SA
D ••
eye
s are
dro
opin
g, m
outh
is d
ownt
urne
d, te
ar
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a sad
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••M
AD ••
eye
brow
s are
poi
ntin
g do
wn,
eye
s are
squi
ntin
g, te
eth
are
toge
ther
,m
outh
is sn
arle
d
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a mad
fac
e to
th
eir
nei
ghbo
rs.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••SU
RPRI
SED
•• e
yebr
ows a
re h
igh,
eye
s are
wid
e, m
outh
is in
the
shap
e of
an
“O”
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a surprised
face
to
thei
r n
eigh
bors
.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••SC
ARED
•• m
outh
is sm
all a
nd c
urle
d, e
yes a
re w
ide,
eye
brow
s rai
sed
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a scared
fac
e to
th
eir
nei
ghbo
rs.
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ools.com
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NN
ERS
| E
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TIO
NS
& A
CTIO
NS:
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OW
ING
YOU
R EM
OTI
ON
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
8
FIN
ISH
TH
E S
TO
RY
:
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i lo
ves
to s
mil
e.
Som
etim
es S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
frow
ns.
S
omet
imes
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i cr
ies.
Som
etim
es S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
is a
frai
d or
em
barr
asse
d or
su
rpri
sed.
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i fe
els
lots
of
emot
ion
s. S
mil
ing
Sam
mi’s
fav
orit
e em
otio
ns
is h
appi
nes
s. S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
love
s to
sm
ile.
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i le
arn
ed a
lot
fro
m w
atch
ing
peop
le a
nd
iden
tify
ing
thei
r em
otio
ns.
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i le
arn
ed s
he
cou
ld t
ell
wh
en s
omeo
ne
was
hap
py o
r sa
d or
wor
ried
or
surp
rise
d. S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
cou
ld
read
peo
ple’
s em
otio
ns
by l
ook
ing
at t
hei
r fa
ce a
nd
thei
r ex
pres
sion
s. S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
is n
ow g
oin
g to
u
se t
his
new
sk
ill
to k
now
wh
en p
eopl
e ar
e h
appy
or
sad.
T
his
wil
l h
elp
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i k
now
how
to
tal
k t
o pe
ople
an
d w
hen
peo
ple
nee
d a
smil
e or
a h
ug
or a
pat
on
th
e ba
ck o
r m
aybe
ju
st l
eft
alon
e.
Expl
ain
to th
e st
uden
ts th
at le
arni
ng to
iden
tify
emot
ions
is v
ery
impo
rtan
t. W
hen
they
can
iden
tify
emot
ions
th
en th
ey w
ill b
e ab
le to
und
erst
and
peop
le b
ette
r and
und
erst
and
why
they
are
act
ing
cert
ain
way
s.
CHAL
LEN
GE T
HE
STU
DEN
TS T
O W
ATCH
PEO
PLE’
S FA
CES
AND
TRY
TO ID
ENTI
FY T
HEI
R EM
OTI
ON
S.
TELL
TH
EM T
HAT
TH
IS IS
A S
KILL
TH
EY C
AN U
SE T
HEI
R EN
TIRE
LIF
E.
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
to
iden
tify
th
is e
mot
ion
an
d te
ll y
ou w
hy
they
th
ink
it
is t
hat
em
otio
n.
Now
exp
lain
th
at t
his
em
otio
n i
s:
••H
APPY
•• e
yes a
re w
ide,
eye
brow
s are
hig
h, a
nd m
outh
is sm
iling
Now
tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
to
mak
e a
hap
py f
ace
to t
hei
r n
eigh
bors
.
www.selforsch
ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| E
MO
TIO
NS
& A
CTIO
NS:
KN
OW
ING
YOU
R EM
OTI
ON
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
9
&
HO
W
WE
A
RE
G
OI
NG
T
OU
SE
WH
AT
WE
LE
AR
NE
D
YES
I WIL
L!!
vs.
NO I W
ON’T
!!
ASK
THE
STU
DEN
TS T
O A
NSW
ER T
HE
FOLL
OW
ING
WIT
H “
YES
I WIL
L” O
R “N
O I
WO
N’T
”:
In g
ym c
lass
I c
ould
see
on
Lar
ry’s
face
th
at h
e is
rea
lly
mad
. I
thin
k I
wil
l ru
n o
ver
to h
im a
nd
mes
s u
p h
is h
air.
Su
zy h
ad a
sad
loo
k o
n h
er f
ace
so I
wen
t u
p to
her
an
d as
ked
her
if
ther
e w
as a
nyt
hin
g I
cou
ld
do t
o m
ake
her
fee
l be
tter
.
Juan
is
real
ly a
nxi
ous
abou
t h
is b
ig t
est
so I
am
goi
ng
to s
it n
ext
to h
im a
nd
talk
a l
ot.
THE PL
ED
GE
ASK
THE
CLAS
S TO
EIT
HER
REA
D O
R RE
PEAT
TH
E FO
LLO
WIN
G:
I w
ill
un
ders
tan
d pe
ople
bet
ter
beca
use
I
wil
l k
now
th
eir
emot
ion
s.
I w
ill
un
ders
tan
d m
ysel
f be
tter
bec
ause
I
wil
l k
now
my
emot
ion
s.
CO
MP
LIM
EN
TS
BA
CK
-PA
TS
•••
Tel
l the
stu
dent
s th
at y
ou a
re v
ery
prou
d of
the
way
they
w
orke
d to
day.
•••
Tel
l the
stu
dent
s th
at y
ou s
mile
bec
ause
they
mak
e yo
u ha
ppy.
•••
Tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
th
at t
hey
des
erve
to
be h
appy
as
wel
l.
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ERS
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NS
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CTIO
NS:
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OW
ING
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R EM
OTI
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Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
10
MY
LEAP
S LE
SSO
N W
RAP-
UP
•••
Em
otio
ns
are
very
nat
ura
l. A
n e
mot
ion
is w
hat
we
feel
. F
or e
xam
ple,
hap
pin
ess
is a
n e
mot
ion
. S
o is
bei
ng
sad
or a
ngr
y or
wor
ried
or
scar
ed.
Th
ese
are
all e
mot
ion
s an
d w
e al
l fe
el t
hem
all
th
e ti
me.
Em
otio
ns
are
a pa
rt o
f al
l of
ou
r li
ves.
•••
We
nee
d to
lear
n h
ow to
ide
nti
fy o
ur
emot
ion
s an
d th
e em
otio
ns
of o
ther
peo
ple.
W
e n
eed
to b
e ab
le t
o lo
ok a
t so
meo
ne’
s fa
ce a
nd
see
if t
hey
are
hap
py, s
ad, a
ngr
y,
or u
pset
. W
e do
this
by
read
ing
thei
r ex
pres
sion
s. T
his
mea
ns
we
can
act
ual
ly l
ook
at
th
eir
face
an
d se
e w
hat
em
otio
n t
hey
hav
e ri
ght
then
.
•••
We
can
als
o li
sten
to
som
eon
e’s
voic
e an
d u
nde
rsta
nd
wh
at k
ind
of e
mot
ion
th
ey a
re h
avin
g.
If t
hey
are
hap
py t
hen
th
e to
ne
of t
hei
r vo
ice
wil
l so
un
d h
appy
. If
th
ey a
re m
ad t
he
ton
e w
ill
not
be
as p
leas
ant.
T
he
ton
e of
som
eon
e’s
voic
e m
ean
s w
e ca
n h
ear
emot
ion
in
wh
at t
hey
are
say
ing.
”
TODA
Y I L
EARN
ED A
BOU
T...
CO
NS
EQ
UE
NC
ES
OF
NO
T U
SIN
G
TH
IS
SK
IL
L
BE
NE
FI
TS
OF
U
SI
NG
TH
IS
SK
IL
L
If y
ou c
ann
ot i
den
tify
peo
ple’
s em
otio
ns
then
you
w
ill
not
be
able
to
tell
wh
en s
omeo
ne
is h
appy
or
sad
or
mad
. T
his
wil
l m
ake
it h
ard
for
you
to
com
mu
nic
ate
wit
h a
nd
get a
lon
g w
ith
oth
er st
ude
nts
.
If y
ou c
an i
den
tify
an
d u
nde
rsta
nd
oth
er p
eopl
e’s
emot
ion
s th
en y
ou w
ill
kn
ow i
f an
d h
ow y
ou s
hou
ld
talk
to
them
as
wel
l as
th
e be
st w
ay o
f ta
lkin
g to
th
em.
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ools.com
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ERS
| S
ELF-
CON
TRO
L: W
HAT
IT M
EAN
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
1
THE GO
AL
THE OB
JEC
TIV
E
VO
CA
BU
LA
RY
Sel
f-co
ntr
ol is
an
oft
en u
sed
term
bu
t a lo
t of y
oun
ger
kid
s do
not
kn
ow w
hat
it
mea
ns.
T
his
les
son
wil
l h
elp
the
stu
den
ts d
efin
e se
lf-c
ontr
ol, i
den
tify
wh
en
som
eon
e is
or
is n
ot e
xhib
itin
g se
lf-c
ontr
ol, a
nd
wil
l th
en h
elp
the
stu
den
ts l
earn
th
e n
eed
to p
ract
ice
self
-con
trol
.
Ped
ag
og
y
&In
struc
tio
n
WH
Y W
E AR
E LE
ARN
ING
: Th
is l
esso
n w
ill
hel
p th
e st
ude
nts
lea
rn w
hat
sel
f-co
ntr
ol m
ean
s, w
hy
it i
sim
port
ant,
an
d w
hat
th
ey n
eed
to d
o to
hav
e it
.
WH
AT W
E AR
E LE
ARN
ING
: Th
is l
esso
n w
ill
use
a m
ult
i-pa
rt s
tory
an
d a
ques
tion
an
d an
swer
tim
eto
lea
rn t
he
mea
nin
g an
d ap
plic
atio
n o
f se
lf-c
ontr
ol.
HO
W W
E AR
E LE
ARN
ING
: Th
e le
sson
wil
l ch
alle
nge
th
e st
ude
nts
to
look
at
the
acti
ons
of o
ther
peop
le a
nd
deci
de i
f th
ey a
re e
xhib
itin
g se
lf-c
ontr
ol a
nd
then
it
wil
l ch
alle
nge
th
em t
o lo
ok a
t th
eir
own
ac
tion
s to
see
if
they
are
in
con
trol
of
them
selv
es.
HO
W W
E AR
E GO
ING
TO U
SE W
HAT
WE
LEAR
NED
: T
he
stu
den
ts w
ill
iden
tify
sel
f-co
ntr
ol, o
ra
lack
th
ereo
f, d
uri
ng
stor
y ti
me
and
then
th
ey w
ill
disc
uss
th
e n
eed
for
self
-con
trol
.
WRA
P U
P : T
his
sec
tion
of
the
less
on r
esta
tes
wh
at h
as b
een
lea
rned
, wh
y th
e sk
ill
shou
ld b
e u
sed,
an
da
reca
p fo
r th
e st
ude
nts
’ par
ents
. T
his
pag
e ca
n g
o h
ome
wit
h t
he
stu
den
ts f
ollo
win
g th
e le
sson
.
Con
trol
• E
mot
ions
1
Th
is l
esso
n w
ill
assi
st t
he
stu
den
ts i
n t
urn
ing
the
con
cept
of
self
-con
trol
in
to s
omet
hin
g th
ey
can
un
ders
tan
d, i
den
tify
, an
d pr
acti
ce.
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ools.com
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ERS
| S
ELF-
CON
TRO
L: W
HAT
IT M
EAN
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
2
TE
LL
YO
UR
ST
UD
EN
TS
TH
E F
OL
LO
WIN
G S
TO
RY
:
It i
s lu
nch
tim
e. E
very
one
love
s lu
nch
tim
e! S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
love
s lu
nch
. S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
love
s th
e w
alk
fro
m th
e cl
assr
oom
to
th
e ca
fete
ria.
S
mil
ing
Sam
mi
love
s to
sit
at
the
tabl
e w
ith
her
fri
ends
an
d ta
lk.
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i lo
ves
to e
at h
er l
un
ch
beca
use
by
lun
chti
me
she
is h
un
gry!
Sm
ilin
g S
amm
i lo
ves
lun
ch.
Lou
d L
ola
also
lov
es l
un
ch.
Lou
d L
ola
love
s th
e w
alk
ing
and
the
talk
ing
and
the
eati
ng.
Lou
d L
ola
love
s lu
nch
as
mu
ch a
s S
mil
ing
Sam
mi.
In
fac
t, L
oud
Lol
a lo
ves
lun
ch s
o m
uch
th
at s
he
gets
su
per
exci
ted
wh
en s
he
is a
t lu
nch
an
d sh
e st
arts
tal
kin
g re
ally
lou
d.
Lou
d L
ola
talk
s so
lou
d th
at s
he
is l
oude
r th
an e
very
one
else
in
th
e ca
fete
ria.
Lou
d L
ola
love
s lu
nch
bu
t sh
e ge
ts s
o ex
cite
d an
d so
lou
d th
at M
rs. T
rust
y h
as t
o te
ll L
oud
Lol
a n
ot t
o be
so
lou
d. L
oud
Lol
a ta
lks
quie
tly
for
a fe
w m
inu
tes
but
soon
sh
e is
lou
d ag
ain
. A
fter
a c
oupl
e of
w
arn
ings
Mrs
. Tru
sty
tell
s L
oud
Lol
a th
at s
he
is t
oo l
oud
and
she
nee
ds t
o co
me
sit
wit
h h
er.
Now
Lou
d L
ola
is n
ot l
ovin
g lu
nch
so
mu
ch.
WH
YW
E A
RE
LE
AR
NIN
G
WH
ATW
E A
RE
LE
AR
NIN
G: S
TO
RY
TIM
E
••• E
xpla
in s
elf-
con
trol
to
the
clas
s: “
Sel
f-co
ntr
ol i
s w
hen
you
are
in
ch
arge
of
you
r w
ords
, you
r ac
tion
s, a
nd
you
r th
ough
ts.
It a
lso
mea
ns
that
you
ar
e in
con
trol
of
how
lou
d yo
ur
voic
e be
com
es a
nd
wh
eth
er o
r n
ot y
ou a
re c
ryin
g or
lau
ghin
g or
an
gry
or s
ad.
Sel
f-co
ntr
ol m
ean
s th
at y
ou a
re i
n
con
trol
of
you
rsel
f.•••
T
his
mea
ns
that
wh
en y
ou l
ose
self
-con
trol
you
are
no
lon
ger
in c
ontr
ol o
f th
ese
thin
gs.
Som
etim
es y
ou w
ill
see
som
eon
e w
ho
has
los
t co
ntr
ol
and
he
or s
he
wil
l do
th
ings
lik
e cr
y re
ally
lou
d an
d n
ot l
iste
n, o
r th
ey w
ill
yell
wh
en t
hey
are
mad
, or
push
som
eon
e.
Th
ese
are
the
acti
ons
of a
pe
rson
wh
o h
as l
ost
self
-con
trol
.
••• I
t is
rea
lly
impo
rtan
t th
at y
ou a
re a
lway
s in
con
trol
of
you
rsel
f.
Wh
en y
ou a
re i
n c
ontr
ol o
f yo
urs
elf
you
can
rem
embe
r th
e ru
les
and
act
the
way
you
are
su
ppos
ed t
o ac
t. W
hen
you
los
e se
lf-c
ontr
ol y
ou e
nd
up
acti
ng
in w
ays
that
wil
l ge
t yo
u i
n t
rou
ble.
”
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ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| S
ELF-
CON
TRO
L: W
HAT
IT M
EAN
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
3
••• A
sk t
he
stu
den
ts w
hat
Lou
d L
ola
did
that
sh
e sh
ould
not
hav
e do
ne.
Ask
th
em t
o ex
plai
n w
hy
it w
as n
ot t
he
righ
t w
ay t
o ac
t.
••• N
ow c
onfi
rm f
or t
he
stu
den
ts t
hat
tal
kin
g at
lu
nch
is
OK
. In
fac
t, o
ne
of t
he
grea
t th
ings
abo
ut
lun
ch i
s th
at t
hey
get
to
visi
t w
ith
th
eir
frie
nds
. N
ow a
sk t
he
stu
den
ts w
hy
Lou
d L
ola
got
into
tro
ubl
e. W
as i
t fo
r ta
lkin
g or
was
it
for
not
con
trol
lin
g h
ow l
oud
she
talk
ed?
••• E
xpla
in t
o th
e st
ude
nts
th
at L
oud
Lol
a h
ad t
o si
t w
ith
her
tea
cher
bec
ause
sh
e le
t be
ing
exci
ted
con
trol
her
an
d sh
e ta
lked
too
lo
ud.
Exp
lain
th
at t
his
is
an e
xam
ple
of L
oud
Lol
a lo
sin
g se
lf-c
ontr
ol a
nd
lett
ing
exci
tem
ent
con
trol
how
lou
d sh
e ta
lked
.
SH
AR
E T
HE
FO
LL
OW
ING
ST
OR
Y:
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r is
th
e le
ader
of
the
lin
e. L
arry
th
e L
ine
Lea
der’
s jo
b is
to
lead
all
of
the
stu
den
ts f
rom
th
e cl
assr
oom
to
th
e li
brar
y an
d fr
om t
he
libr
ary
back
to
the
clas
sroo
m.
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r’s
job
is a
lso
to l
ead
all
of t
he
stu
den
ts f
rom
th
e cl
assr
oom
to
rece
ss a
nd
back
. L
arry
th
e L
ine
Lea
der
love
s le
adin
g th
e li
ne.
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r is
in
th
e fr
ont
of t
he
lin
e an
d re
ady
to l
ead
the
clas
s to
th
e m
usi
c ro
om.
Mrs
. T
rust
y te
lls
Lar
ry
the
Lin
e L
eade
r to
beg
in l
eadi
ng
the
clas
s do
wn
th
e h
all.
W
hil
e in
th
e h
allw
ay, L
arry
th
e L
ine
Lea
der
rem
inds
th
e cl
ass
not
to
talk
in
th
e h
allw
ay.
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r ta
kes
his
job
ver
y se
riou
sly!
As
the
clas
s is
wal
kin
g in
th
e h
allw
ay T
alk
ing
Tin
a be
gin
s to
tal
k.
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r re
min
ds T
alk
ing
Tin
a th
at s
he
isn
’t su
ppos
ed
to t
alk
in
th
e h
allw
ay.
As
he
con
tin
ues
to
lead
th
e li
ne,
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r h
ears
Tal
kin
g T
ina
talk
ing
agai
n.
He
rem
inds
her
aga
in t
o st
op t
alk
ing.
W
hen
th
e cl
ass
gets
to
the
end
of t
he
hal
lway
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r h
ears
Tal
kin
g T
ina
talk
ing
agai
n!
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r ta
kes
his
job
ver
y se
riou
sly
so n
ow h
e is
mad
. L
arry
th
e L
ine
Lea
der
stop
s th
e li
ne
and
turn
s to
Tal
kin
g T
ina
and
yell
s, “
Sto
p T
alk
ing
Now
!!”.
Tal
kin
g T
ina’
s ey
es g
et b
ig a
nd
then
sh
e st
arts
to
cry.
Mrs
. Tru
sty
wal
ks
to t
he
fron
t of
th
e li
ne
and
tell
s L
arry
th
e L
ine
Lea
der
that
eve
n t
hou
gh h
e w
as l
eadi
ng
the
lin
e it
was
not
nic
e th
at h
e ye
lled
at
Tal
kin
g T
ina.
M
rs.
Tru
sty
tell
s L
arry
th
e L
ine
Lea
der
to a
polo
gize
an
d th
en m
akes
bo
th h
im a
nd
Tal
kin
g T
ina
go t
o th
e en
d of
th
e li
ne.
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ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| S
ELF-
CON
TRO
L: W
HAT
IT M
EAN
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
4
•••
Ask
the
stud
ents
if th
ey th
ink
Larr
y th
e Li
ne L
eade
r wan
ts to
do
a go
od jo
b le
adin
g hi
s cla
ss fr
om o
ne p
lace
to th
e ne
xt.
Tell
the
stud
ents
that
you
th
ink
he d
oes w
ant t
o do
a g
ood
job.
•••
Now
ask
th
e st
ude
nts
if
they
th
ink
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r to
ok h
is j
ob o
f le
adin
g th
e li
ne
seri
ousl
y.
Tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
th
at y
ou t
hin
k L
arry
th
eL
ine
Lea
der
did
tak
e h
is j
ob s
erio
usl
y.
•••
Now
ask
th
e st
ude
nts
if
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r w
as w
ron
g to
rem
ind
Tal
kin
g T
ina
that
th
ey w
eren
’t su
ppos
ed t
o ta
lk i
n t
he
hal
lway
.
•••
Exp
lain
to
the
stu
den
ts t
hat
th
ey a
re s
upp
osed
to
rem
ind
thei
r fr
ien
ds a
nd
clas
smat
es o
f th
e ru
les
if o
ne
of t
hei
r cl
assm
ates
is
brea
kin
g a
rule
.
•••
Now
exp
lain
th
at L
arry
th
e L
ine
Lea
der
was
OK
to
rem
ind
Tal
kin
g T
ina
not
to
talk
in
lin
e bu
t it
was
not
OK
for
him
to
yell
at
her
. E
xpla
in t
hat
this
was
an
exa
mpl
e of
Lar
ry t
he
Lin
e L
eade
r lo
sin
g h
is p
atie
nce
an
d do
ing
som
eth
ing
he
kn
ew h
e sh
ould
not
do.
He
kn
ew n
ot t
o ye
ll i
n t
he
hal
lway
an
d h
e k
new
not
to
yell
at
a fe
llow
stu
den
t. H
e ju
st l
ost
his
tem
per
and
lost
his
sel
f-co
ntr
ol.
SH
AR
E T
HE
FO
LL
OW
ING
ST
OR
Y:
Ru
n A
rou
nd
Ran
dy l
oves
to
run
. R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
rea
lly
love
s to
ru
n a
t re
cess
. In
fac
t, R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
’s fa
vori
te p
art
of t
he
day
is r
un
nin
g at
rec
ess.
Tod
ay i
t is
rai
nin
g—n
o go
ing
outs
ide.
Tod
ay t
he
gym
isn
’t av
aila
ble
for
rece
ss e
ith
er.
Tod
ay, R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
isn
’t go
ing
to
get
to r
un
bec
ause
th
ere
won
’t be
a r
eces
s. I
nst
ead,
Mrs
. Tru
sty
tell
s th
e cl
ass
that
th
ey a
re g
oin
g to
hav
e an
in
side
pla
y pe
riod
in
stea
d of
rec
ess.
Ru
n A
rou
nd
Ran
dy c
ann
ot b
elie
ve t
hat
th
ey w
on’t
hav
e re
cess
. R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
isn
’t go
ing
to g
et t
o ru
n.
As
Ru
n A
rou
nd
Ran
dy t
hin
ks
abou
t n
ot g
etti
ng
to r
un
he
gets
ver
y sa
d.
Ru
n A
rou
nd
Ran
dy t
hin
ks
abou
t re
cess
an
d ru
nn
ing
and
he
gets
so
sad
that
he
begi
ns
to c
ry.
Ru
n
Aro
un
d R
andy
is
now
cry
ing
and
can
not
sto
p. M
rs. T
rust
y tr
ies
to a
sk R
un
aro
un
d R
andy
wh
at i
s w
ron
g bu
t al
l R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
can
do
is
cry.
Th
e w
hol
e cl
ass
is l
ook
ing
at R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
won
deri
ng
wh
at i
s w
ron
g. R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
is
sad
and
now
he
is a
lso
emba
rras
sed.
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ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
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ELF-
CON
TRO
L: W
HAT
IT M
EAN
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
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CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
5
•••
Ask
th
e st
ude
nts
if
they
hav
e ev
er b
een
sad
. H
ave
they
eve
r lo
oked
for
war
d to
som
eth
ing
and
then
th
ey
did
not
get
to
do i
t?
••• S
har
e w
ith
th
e st
ude
nts
a t
ime
wh
en y
ou w
ere
exci
ted
abou
t so
met
hin
g bu
t th
en d
id n
ot g
et t
o do
it.
Sh
are
how
you
fel
t sa
d an
d ex
plai
n t
o th
e cl
ass
that
fee
lin
g sa
d is
ver
y n
atu
ral
and
un
ders
tan
dabl
e.
•••
Exp
lain
to
the
clas
s th
at i
t w
as O
K f
or R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
to
be s
ad b
ut
it w
asn
’t O
K f
or h
im t
o le
t h
is
sadn
ess
mak
e h
im s
tart
cry
ing
and
lose
con
trol
of
his
em
otio
ns.
E
xpla
in t
hat
th
is i
s an
oth
er e
xam
ple
of a
st
ude
nt
losi
ng
self
-con
trol
.
•••
Exp
lain
to
the
clas
s th
at i
t w
as O
K f
or L
ola
to b
e ex
cite
d at
lu
nch
. It
was
OK
for
Lin
e L
eade
r L
arry
to
not
be
hap
py t
hat
Tal
kin
g T
ina
was
tal
kin
g. A
nd
it w
as O
K f
or R
un
Aro
un
d R
andy
to
be s
ad a
bou
t m
issi
ng
rece
ss.
Th
ese
are
emot
ion
s an
d th
ey a
re O
K.
•••
Now
exp
lain
to
the
clas
s th
at e
ven
th
ough
it
is n
atu
ral
and
OK
to
hav
e em
otio
ns,
it
is n
ot O
K t
o le
t em
otio
ns
con
trol
th
eir
wor
ds a
nd
acti
ons.
••• E
xpla
in t
o th
e cl
ass
that
wh
en L
ola
and
Lar
ry a
nd
Ran
dy l
ost
self
-con
trol
th
ey a
ll e
ith
er g
ot i
nto
tro
ubl
e or
wer
e em
barr
asse
d or
bot
h.
•••
Exp
lain
to
the
clas
s th
at i
f th
ey w
ere
to l
ose
self
-con
trol
th
at s
omet
hin
g si
mil
ar w
ould
lik
ely
hap
pen
to
them
. I
f th
ey l
et t
hei
r ex
cite
men
t or
an
ger
or s
adn
ess
or a
ny
oth
er e
mot
ion
tak
e ov
er t
hen
th
ey w
ould
pro
babl
y en
d u
p in
tro
ubl
e as
wel
l.
•••
Tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
th
at e
very
one
has
em
otio
ns
and
ever
yon
e h
as t
imes
wh
en i
t is
har
d to
con
trol
th
eir
emot
ion
s.
Rea
ssu
re t
he
stu
den
ts
that
th
ere
are
tim
es w
hen
eve
n y
ou a
re s
ad a
nd
you
wan
t to
cry
. A
lso
reas
sure
th
em t
hat
th
ere
are
tim
es i
t is
OK
to
cry.
B
ut
ther
e ar
e ti
mes
it
isn
’t O
K t
o cr
y.
•••
Tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
th
at t
her
e ar
e ti
mes
you
get
an
gry
and
you
wan
t to
yel
l.
Rea
ssu
re t
he
stu
den
ts t
hat
get
tin
g an
gry
is p
art
of l
ife
but
yell
ing
at o
r pu
shin
g or
hit
tin
g an
oth
er p
erso
n i
s n
ever
OK
. In
fac
t, i
t is
wro
ng.
•••
Tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
th
at y
ou a
re g
oin
g to
hel
p th
em s
tay
in c
ontr
ol b
y re
min
din
g th
em o
f L
ine
Lea
der
Lar
ry i
f th
ey g
et a
ngr
y an
d R
un
A
rou
nd
Ran
dy w
hen
th
ey a
re s
ad a
nd
Lou
d L
ola
wh
en t
hey
are
exc
ited
. T
ell
the
clas
s th
at t
hey
can
sta
y in
con
trol
of
them
selv
es i
f th
ey
stop
wh
at t
hey
are
doi
ng
and
thin
k a
bou
t w
hat
th
ey s
hou
ld d
o n
ext.
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ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| S
ELF-
CON
TRO
L: W
HAT
IT M
EAN
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
6
FIN
ISH
TH
E S
TO
RY
:
It i
s th
e en
d of
th
e da
y an
d it
has
n’t
been
a g
reat
day
. L
oud
Lol
a di
dn’t
hav
e a
grea
t lu
nch
. R
un
aro
un
d R
andy
mis
sed
rece
ss a
nd
Lin
e L
eade
r L
arry
did
n’t
get
to l
ead
the
clas
s ba
ck
from
th
e m
usi
c ro
om.
Mrs
. T
rust
y k
now
s th
at s
ome
of t
he
stu
den
ts h
aven
’t h
ad a
gre
at d
ay s
o sh
e te
lls
them
to
rem
embe
r th
at t
omor
row
is
anot
her
day
; a n
ew d
ay.
Sh
e re
min
ds t
hem
th
at t
hey
wil
l h
ave
anot
her
lu
nch
tom
orro
w.
Th
ey w
ill
hav
e an
oth
er r
eces
s to
mor
row
an
d th
at t
her
e w
ill
be
anot
her
lin
e to
lea
d to
mor
row
.
Mrs
. Tru
sty
rem
inds
her
stu
den
ts t
hat
eve
n t
hou
gh t
hey
did
n’t
hav
e a
grea
t da
y it
is
up
to
them
wh
eth
er o
r n
ot to
hav
e a
grea
t eve
nin
g. S
he
rem
inde
d th
em th
at th
e gr
eat t
hin
g ab
out
hav
ing
self
-con
trol
is
that
on
ly t
hey
can
con
trol
wh
eth
er o
r n
ot t
hey
are
hap
py.
Mrs
. T
rust
y ch
alle
nge
d h
er c
lass
to
thin
k o
f so
met
hin
g h
appy
an
d to
use
th
ose
hap
py
thou
ghts
to
hel
p th
em b
e in
con
trol
as
they
lea
ve s
choo
l fo
r th
e da
y. L
ola
thou
ght
abou
t lu
nch
tom
orro
w.
Ran
dy t
hou
ght
abou
t re
cess
an
d L
arry
th
ough
t ab
out
lead
ing
a li
ne.
As
the
sch
ool
bell
ran
g th
ey a
ll s
tood
up
and
felt
bet
ter.
Now
th
ey
wer
e al
l sm
ilin
g, j
ust
lik
e S
mil
ing
Sam
mi.
•••
Ch
alle
nge
you
r st
ude
nts
to
be i
n c
ontr
ol t
he
rest
of
the
day.
Tel
l th
em t
hat
you
are
goi
ng
to h
elp
by
rem
indi
ng
them
of
Sam
mi
and
Lol
a an
d R
andy
an
d L
arry
.
TELL
TH
E ST
UDE
NTS
TH
AT O
NLY
TH
EY C
AN C
ON
TRO
L TH
EIR
WO
RDS
AND
ACTI
ON
S, A
ND
YOU
KN
OW
TH
EY C
AN D
O IT
STA
RTIN
G N
OW
.
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ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| S
ELF-
CON
TRO
L: W
HAT
IT M
EAN
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
7
&
HO
W
WE
A
RE
G
OI
NG
T
OU
SE
WH
AT
WE
LE
AR
NE
D
YES
I WIL
L!!
vs.
NO I W
ON’T
!!
ASK
THE
STU
DEN
TS T
O A
NSW
ER T
HE
FOLL
OW
ING
WIT
H “
YES
I WIL
L” O
R “N
O I
WO
N’T
”:
Wh
ile
wor
kin
g at
my
desk
th
e fi
re a
larm
beg
ins
to s
oun
d. T
he
teac
her
say
s it
is
a fi
re d
rill
an
d w
e ar
e su
ppos
ed t
o li
ne
up.
I g
et s
o ex
cite
d th
at I
sta
rt y
elli
ng
the
alar
m s
oun
d!
Tod
ay w
hil
e on
th
e pl
aygr
oun
d I
fell
off
of
the
swin
g.
It h
urt
an
d it
mad
e m
e cr
y a
litt
le b
ut
I tr
ied
real
ly h
ard
not
to
cry
a lo
t an
d I
nev
er y
elle
d or
scr
eam
ed o
r an
yth
ing!
On
e of
my
clas
smat
es p
ush
ed m
e w
hil
e I
was
in
lin
e. I
t m
ade
me
mad
bu
t in
stea
d of
pu
shin
g h
er
back
I j
ust
tol
d h
er n
ot t
o pu
sh m
e ag
ain
or
else
I w
as g
oin
g to
tel
l th
e te
ach
er.
THE PL
ED
GE
ASK
THE
CLAS
S TO
EIT
HER
REA
D O
R RE
PEAT
TH
E FO
LLO
WIN
G:
I w
ill
be i
n c
ontr
ol o
f m
ysel
f.
Eve
n w
hen
I a
m h
appy
, sad
, exc
ited
, or
mad
—I
wil
l be
in
con
trol
!
CO
MP
LIM
EN
TS
BA
CK
-PA
TS
•••
Tell
the s
tude
nts t
hat y
ou kn
ow th
ey ca
n con
trol t
hem
selv
es.
•••
Te
ll th
e st
uden
ts th
at y
ou a
re p
roud
that
they
hav
e th
e ab
ility
to b
e in
con
trol.
•••
Tel
l th
e st
ude
nts
th
at y
ou k
now
if
they
try
th
ey w
ill
hav
ea
grea
t da
y.
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ools.com
BEGI
NN
ERS
| S
ELF-
CON
TRO
L: W
HAT
IT M
EAN
S
K.JA
Y BU
RCH
AM •
CO
PYRI
GHT
© 2
011
8
MY
LEAP
S LE
SSO
N W
RAP-
UP
•••
Sel
f-co
ntr
ol i
s w
hen
you
are
in
ch
arge
of
you
r w
ords
, yo
ur
acti
ons,
an
d yo
ur
thou
ghts
. It
als
o m
ean
s th
at y
ou a
re i
n c
ontr
ol o
f h
ow l
oud
you
r vo
ice
beco
mes
an
d w
het
her
or
not
you
are
cry
ing
or l
augh
ing
or a
ngr
y or
sad
. S
elf-
con
trol
mea
ns
that
yo
u a
re i
n c
ontr
ol o
f yo
urs
elf.
•••
Th
is m
ean
s th
at w
hen
you
los
e se
lf-c
ontr
ol y
ou a
re n
o lo
nge
r in
con
trol
of
thes
e th
ings
. S
omet
imes
you
wil
l se
e so
meo
ne
wh
o h
as l
ost
con
trol
an
d h
e or
sh
e w
ill
do
thin
gs l
ike
cry
real
ly l
oud
and
not
lis
ten
, or
th
ey w
ill
yell
wh
en t
hey
are
mad
, or
pu
sh s
omeo
ne.
Th
ese
are
the
acti
ons
of a
per
son
wh
o h
as l
ost
self
-con
trol
.
•••
It i
s re
ally
im
port
ant
that
you
are
alw
ays
in c
ontr
ol o
f yo
urs
elf.
Wh
en y
ou a
re i
n c
ontr
ol o
f yo
urs
elf
you
can
rem
embe
r th
e ru
les
and
act
the
way
you
are
su
ppos
ed t
o ac
t. W
hen
you
los
e se
lf-c
ontr
ol y
ou e
nd
up
acti
ng
in w
ays
that
wil
l ge
t yo
u i
n t
rou
ble.
”
TODA
Y I L
EARN
ED A
BOU
T...
CO
NS
EQ
UE
NC
ES
OF
NO
T U
SIN
G
TH
IS
SK
IL
L
BE
NE
FI
TS
OF
U
SI
NG
TH
IS
SK
IL
L
If y
ou l
ose
you
r se
lf-c
ontr
ol
then
th
ere
is a
goo
d ch
ance
you
wil
l sa
y or
do
som
eth
ing
you
sh
ould
n’t.
P
eopl
e w
ho
lose
sel
f-co
ntr
ol t
end
to g
et i
nto
tro
ubl
e or
get
em
barr
asse
d.
If y
ou m
ain
tain
you
r se
lf-c
ontr
ol t
hen
on
ly y
ou
wil
l de
cide
how
you
are
goi
ng
to a
ct a
nd
wh
at y
ou
are
goin
g to
say
. W
hen
you
hav
e se
lf-c
ontr
ol y
ou
stay
ou
r of
tro
ubl
e an
d fe
el g
ood
abou
t yo
urs
elf.
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ools.com
26 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
A Crisis Response Resource from
FOR LOWER MATURITY3rd GRADE through 6th GRADE
This set of 4 lesson plans are specifically for the Lower Maturity group, Please note that some of these lessons share a title with those grouped with the Higher Maturity Group - they are different with alternative language relevant to maturity level.
Controlling YourselfThis is a short lesson that will help the students understand the need for personal and self-control in the face of sometimes out-of-control circumstances.
The Relaxation TechniqueA guided relaxation process that leads the educator through the process of bio-physical relaxation through muscle group manipulation. This is an excellent lesson for those students who are experiencing residual fear from the hurricanes.
Understanding Your Community - The NegativesThis lesson will help your teachers and your students redefine their community in the wake of the crisis. The lesson will lead the group through the process of identifying the areas of their community that need to be avoided for safety’s sake.
Understanding Your Community - The PositivesThis lesson is similar to the lesson above but it focuses on the positive places that the community offers the students.
LOWER MATURITY INDEX: ANGER MANAGEMENT • CONTROLLING YOURSELF
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
1
THEGOAL
THEOBJECTIVE This exercise will help the students realize the need for
maintaining self-control and the consequences they will face when they do not maintain that control.
Every person has the ability to control his or her own behavior and will be held accountable for his or her own actions. The students need to learn that they will be held accountable for everything they do. This includes reactions that are driven by anger. The students need to learn how to control their actions, thoughts, and reactions so that they remain in control of themselves. They also need to learn that when they lose control, there will be consequences for their actions.
• EXERCISE •1 Begin this lesson by telling the students that it is important that they tell the truth and are always
honest. Explain that by being honest and participating they can learn new things.
2 Share with the students a time in your life when you became angry. Make sure it is an age appropriate story but share the story of becoming mad, who or what you were mad at, and how it made you feel. After you have shared the story with the students tell them if there were any consequences to your anger, such as someone else being hurt or offended.
3 Explain to the students that everyone, including you, deals with emotions on a daily basis. And everyone, including you, will sometimes become angry or upset.
4 Ask the students to think of times they have become angry or mad. What happened? How did it make them feel? Were there any consequences?
5 Ask the students to think about what happens when they lose control of their emotions. Explain what consequence means and then ask them to think about the consequences of when they get angry or upset. (explain the meaning of each emotion if necessary):
• ANGER• GRIEF• JEALOUSY• UPSET
6 Ask the students to think of times they have experienced these emotions. Ask the students to think of times they have been angry or sad or jealous. What happened? How did it make them feel? Did anything good come from feeling this way?
CONTROLLING YOURSELF
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: ANGER MANAGEMENT • CONTROLLING YOURSELF
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
2
7
8
Explain to the students that even though everyone deals with emotions and everyone has times when these emotions can feel over powering, everyone will still be held accountable for each and everything they do. Again, explain what consequence means to the students.
Share the following with the student: Joe is walking home from mowing lawns during the summer. It has rained a little, so it is very
hot and sticky. Joe has had a long day and is exhausted. As Joe rounds a corner, a car comes by really fast hitting a water puddle next to where Joe is standing throwing water all over him. The car pulls to a nearby stop sign and stops.
9 Ask the student’s to think about what Joe’s reaction should be. Remind the student’s that Joe is hot and tired and this car just splashed him and didn’t even stop to apologize. What should Joe do?
Continue the story: Tell the students that Joe is overcome with anger. Explain that you are going to give several different examples of how Joe reacted. Tell the students to think about and describe what the consequences would be if:
1. Joe is overcome with anger. He sees a rock sitting near the curb and he picks up the rock andthrows it at the car breaking the back window.
2. Joe is furious as he looks at his clothes and lawn mower. Everything is covered with water.In his frustration he screams out a bunch of ugly words at the car as it sits a few yards away.
3. Because he is so tired, Joe has had more than he can take. He sits down on the curb, placeshis head in his hands, and begins to cry.
4. In his state of anger, Joe leaves his lawn mower sitting on the curb and runs to the car. Hebangs on the window, screaming for the driver to get out and fight.
Ask the student’s to describe the likely outcomes of each of these scenarios and to decide if this is the proper way for Joe to react.
Now explain to the students that they have no way of knowing what the consequence would be, because they have no way of knowing who is in the car. For example, how would the consequences for Joe’s actions have been different if the driver were:
• Joe’s best friend’s mother• Joe’s preacher• A policeman• Four big strong mean looking men• One of Joe’s teachers• Joe’s aunt and uncle
10
11
12
Ask the students how the consequences for Joe’s reactions would be different for each of the scenarios listed above. Help the students see that there are different outcomes based upon who is in the car.
Explain to the students that when they react to something, rather than controlling their emotions, they are not in full control of themselves and will likely have bad consequences.
13
14
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: ANGER MANAGEMENT • CONTROLLING YOURSELF
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
3
Also explain to the students that losing control and reacting to emotions is an easy way to get your self into a situation in which you have no control; for example, Joe and the car full of big mean men.
Ask the students to think of ways Joe could have maintained control. Help the students think of different ways Joe could have calmed down and stayed in control. Let the students think of different ways that Joe could be in control of his emotions while at the same time acknowledging that Joe has every right to be angry.
15
16
Now ask the students to think back to when they shared a time when they lost control and they were either mad or upset. How could the things they just thought of for Joe be applied to the situation they faced? How would the outcome have been different?
Explain to the students that there are things they can do to help them calm down when they get angry. Explain that when something happens that makes them very angry they can stay in control by not letting the situation and their emotions get the best of them. Share the following calming down techniques with the students:• Count to five while taking a deep breath – this may sound silly, but it is amazing the control you
can gain when you stop yourself, even for a short moment, from reacting.• Clench your fists and count to ten while maintaining a firm clenched fist – this will help you
focus your immediate reaction into your muscles. When you release there will be a physicalrelease of pressure, and that will help you gain control over your immediate reaction.
• Close your eyes and count to ten – closing your eyes will give you an opportunity to calm yourselfdown, because you are unlikely to react when you can’t see where you are going or to whom you arereacting. This will also give you a quick moment of escape from the situation that has caused youremotional response.
17
18
Tell the students that there are many other ways they can control themselves. They can stay in control with sheer will power or by a trick they have learned but they must gain and maintain control or they will face the consequences. Assist the students in applying the techniques above to some situations that they identified that can be anger provoking. Help the students see how and when they could use these techniques to get control and keep from becoming angry.
19
THE SUMMARY
Losing control can be an easy thing to do, especially when you have a hard time controlling your emotions.
The students need to understand that losing control just because they become angry will not lessen the consequences. In fact, it can do long term damage to the students, their reputation, and their relationships. They need to learn that there are very real consequences for their actions, and they had better be in complete control of themselves or they will face the consequences.
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: ANGER MANAGEMENT • CONTROLLING YOURSELF
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
4
D I S C U S S I O NPOINTS
What will probably happen if you get mad at people and act mad? What are some of the consequences?
What are some things that make you angry?
How do you deal with things that make you angry?
What are some tricks you can use to calm down instead of getting mad?
RIGHT WAYS & NO WAYSAsk the group to tell if the following is the
“Right Way” or the “No Way”
• Monique was walking to her desk when she stubbed her toe. It hurt really bad butrather than yelling she took a deep breath and counted to ten before she said anything.(RIGHT WAY)
• Raymond was riding his bike and he fell off and skinned his knee. He got so madthat he kicked his bike and broke a spoke. (NO WAY)
• Carly heard that June was talking bad about her so she ran up to June and startedyelling at her before June even knew what was happening. (NO WAY)
• Shane was running down the hallway when Joann stepped out of the restroom and knocked him down.Joann said she was sorry and Shane told her that he knew it was an accident and it was OK. (RIGHT WAY)
&THE PLEDGE
ASK THE CLASS TO EITHER READ OR REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:
I will be in control of myself and I will control my emotions. When I become angry I will calm down and think about
the things I should do and say.
COMPLIMENTSBACK-PATS
••• Thank the students for participating andtell them that you are proud of them.
••• Tell the students that they are all good people and they should be proud of themselves.
••• Tell the students that they are all smartenough to be in control and that they know how to calm down when they need to.
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: ANGER MANAGEMENT • CONTROLLING YOURSELF
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
5
SKILLS LESSON RECAPEvery person has the ability to control his or her own behavior and will be held accountable for his or her own actions. The students need to learn that they will be held accountable for everything they do. This includes reactions that are driven by anger. The students need to learn how to control their actions, thoughts, and reactions so that they remain in control of themselves. They also need to learn that when they lose control, there will be consequences for their actions.
T H E GOAL
CONSEQUENCES
OF NOT USING
T H I S S K I L L
B E N E F I T S
O F U S I N GT H I S S K I L L
By failing to manage your actions, thoughts, and reactions in a consistent manner you will be perceived as someone who is out of control and therefore cannot be trusted to respond appropriately during stressful situations.
You will experience a higher degree of control of your environment. As a result of being able to control yourself during difficult situations you will also be perceived as someone that can be trusted to make good decisions no matter the circumstances.
••• EXERCISE KEY POINTS •••During this exercise you discussed different times in your life when you lost control of your emotions and how the loss of that control contributed to negative consequences.
This exercise uses a scenario to illustrate how different reactions to a stressful situation will lead to different consequences. You discussed experiences in your own life that led you to lose control and how the different reactions discussed in the scenario might have led to different results.
This lesson reinforced the fact that you are ultimately held accountable for your own actions and that by learning to manage the range of emotions which often cause loss of control you will be better equipped to handle difficult situations.
The instructor led you through a number of calming techniques that will assist you in regaining your composure during stressful situations in order for you to control the situation rather than the situation controlling you.
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Copy
right
201
0
ange
r & em
otio
nal m
anag
emen
tst
uden
t exe
rcis
e sh
eets
Con
trol
lin
g Y
ours
elf -
Par
t 1
Thin
k of
tim
es w
hen
you
have
lost
cont
rol o
f you
r em
otio
ns. I
n th
e fir
st ro
w, a
nsw
er th
e qu
estio
ns p
rese
nted
. Nex
t, th
ink
of ti
mes
you
hav
e ex
perie
nced
eac
h em
otio
n lis
ted
belo
w, a
nd a
nsw
er th
e sa
me
ques
tions
for e
ach
one.
Sce
nar
io
Joe i
s wal
kin
g h
ome f
rom
mow
ing
law
ns d
uri
ng
the s
um
mer
. It h
as ra
ined
a li
ttle
, so
it is
ver
y h
um
id a
nd
very
hot
. He h
as h
ad a
lon
g da
y an
d h
e’s
exh
aust
ed. A
s
Joe r
oun
ds a
corn
er, a
car c
omes
by
real
ly fa
st h
itti
ng
a w
ater
pu
ddle
nex
t to
wh
ere J
oe is
stan
din
g, th
row
ing
wat
er a
ll o
ver h
im. T
he
car p
ull
s to
a n
earb
y st
op
sign
an
d st
ops.
If y
ou w
ere J
oe, h
ow w
ould
you
hav
e rea
cted
to th
is ev
ent?
Wh
at em
otio
ns w
ould
you
hav
e fel
t? W
hat
wou
ld y
ou h
ave d
one?
EM
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, An
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& Em
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:
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ent:
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_ D
ate:
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_ Ex
erci
se p
age
2 of
2 ,
Ange
r &
Emot
iona
l Man
agem
ent -
Con
trol
ling
Your
self
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lforschoo
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: STRESS & ANXIETY • THE RELAXATION TECHNIQUE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
1
THEGOAL
THEOBJECTIVE This exercise should be modeled and practiced so
that the students understand the techniques and can become confident practicing them due to your modeling.
Relaxing sounds simple enough but a lot of people have difficulty relaxing. Students need to learn how to relax and calm down physically, emotionally and mentally. The students need to understand that if they allow stress to build up that it can affect their ability to make decisions and maintain control. Students must also learn that there are ways they can control themselves even when they are facing problems.
• EXERCISE •
1 Start the lesson by complimenting the students on something they have done well. Now tell them that they are going to learn something today that they can use for a long time.
2 Explain to the students that stress is the result of feeling anxious and nervous or upset about things that are happening. Explain that when something happens that causes them to feel this way then it is a stressful event. Ask the students if they have ever experienced a stressful event. Help them think of a time when something happened that caused stress. If necessary help them with examples such as getting ready to take a test or going to the dentist or being bullied on the playground.
3 Affirm for the students that stress can make you feel rotten. Explain that stress affects the students:• MENTALLY – stress can cause them to not think clearly and to make poor decisions• PHYSICALLY – stress can wear them down and even make them feel sick• SOCIALLY – stress can cause them to act in a way that other people do not want to be around
them• INTELLECTUALLY – stress can cause them to not do well on their school work because it hurts
their ability to make decisions, remember, and learn
THE RELAXATION TECHNIQUE
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: STRESS & ANXIETY • THE RELAXATION TECHNIQUE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
2
7 Explain to the students that they are going to learn an exercise that will help them relax and control the way their body reacts to stressful things.
Instruct the students to sit in a comfortable position. Model this position by moving your chair from behind your desk so that all students can clearly see what you are doing. Assure the students that this process will help them feel better. Walk the students through the following exercise and show the students how to complete each step by modeling it for them as you provide the instructions:
• Start by relaxing your arms either to your side or on the arm rests of your chair.• Now make a fist with your right hand.• Squeeze it as hard as you can.• Hold the fist tight and feel how tense it is.• Hold the fist to a count of five (teacher led count).• Now release your fist and let your hand rest.• Feel how the tension seems to be leaving the hand and how it feels different from when you were
squeezing your fist. The tight fist is an example of a tense muscle and when you loosen your fistthat tingling you feel is the tension leaving the muscle.
• Now make a fist with your left hand.• Squeeze it as hard as you can.• Hold the fist tight and feel how tense it is.• Hold the fist to a count of five (count aloud). Now release your fist and let your hand rest. Feel
how the tension seems to be leaving the hand and how it feels different from when you weresqueezing your fist.”
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE...
4 Tell the students that if they allow stressful things to keep building that it can affect them now and in the future. Give examples such as:Now:
• stress can make them cranky• stress can cause them to not think clearly• stress can cause them to not sleep well• stress can cause them to make bad decisions
Future:• ongoing stress can cause them to feel poorly and even get sick• ongoing stress can cause their friends to not want to be around them• ongoing stress can affect their overall grades
5 Explain to the students that stress can be a real problem if they don’t learn how to deal with it and relax.
6 Point out to the students that everyone experiences stress. What separates the people that can deal with stress from the people who let stress get the best of them is their ability to immediately confront and control the stress; their ability to keep stress from growing and getting bigger; and their ability to gain perspective and calm down and minimize the physical impact of stress.
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: STRESS & ANXIETY • THE RELAXATION TECHNIQUE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
3
THE SUMMARY
Everyone deals with stress and stressful situations. It is important for the students to begin understanding how to control the impact of stress by controlling the physical effects of stress. By learning to control the physical effects of stress by manipulating muscular tension, breathing patterns, and heart rate, students can reduce the physical effects of stress thereby increasing their ability to control the mental and emotional processes involved.
7 CONTINUED• Now tighten the muscles in both arms and hold them tight for a count of five (count aloud).• Now release and feel the tingle of the muscles beginning to relax.• Now let’s move on to the shoulders and neck.• Tighten these muscles and hold (count aloud).• Good, now relax. Now let’s try your hands, arms, shoulders, neck and stomach all at the same
time.• Tighten these muscles and hold them tight for a count of five (count aloud).• Good now relax. Feel how your muscles are a little bit tired and tingling. This is how it feels
when stress leaves your body.”•
• Now as you relax all of the muscles in your upper body tighten the muscles in your feet andlower legs and hold them tight (count aloud).
• Good, now relax. Feel the tingling of the muscles. Now tighten the muscles in your upper legsand feel the tension (count aloud). Good, now relax.”
Now just sit quietly for a moment and feel the calmness in your muscles.Say the following to the students:
“Isn’t it incredible how when your muscles are relaxed you feel calm as well? Now that you have learned how to relax your muscles, you can also relax your mind. When you are in a stressful situation just take a moment. Tighten a fist, count to five and let go. Feel the tension release and then keep relaxing your muscles until your mind also relaxes.”
Ask the students to share the feelings they had as their muscles became tight and then released the tension that had built up. Ask them how it felt as the tension left their body.
8
Point out to the students that as their muscles and body relaxed so did their minds. Explain that this is the way they can calm down when they are feeling worried and anxious. They can control their body and use it to calm down their minds.
9
Tell the students that when something happens that makes them feel worried or anxious or nervous that they need to regain control of their body and teach it to relax. Assure them that when they teach themselves to relax that they will be better able to deal with the problems that started the stress.
10
Challenge the students to try using this technique at home and to prevent future stress.11
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: STRESS & ANXIETY • THE RELAXATION TECHNIQUE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
4
D I S C U S S I O NPOINTS
How can stress make you feel?
How can relaxing your body help you relax your mind?
What happens when you let stress build up and you don’t do anything about it?
Why is dealing with stress important?
RIGHT WAYS & NO WAYSAsk the group to tell if the following is the
“Right Way” or the “No Way” • Selena is about to take a test and she is so nervous that her stomach hurts. Shedoesn’t know what to do so she is just becoming more and more upset. (No Way)
• Timmy can’t find his library book anywhere and he is starting to get mad so he stops,takes some deep breaths, makes his fists hard and lets go, and then focuses on wherethe book might be. (Right Way)
• Kathy is upset that her best friend did not sit by her at lunch. As she eats she getsmore and more upset to the point that she begins to cry. (No Way)
• Joseph is playing kickball when he falls and tears a hole in his new pants. At first he is really worriedthat he might get in trouble but he calms himself down and thinks about the best way to tell his Mom whathappened. (Right way)
&THE PLEDGE
ASK THE CLASS TO EITHER READ OR REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:
I will be in control of myself and I will learn to relax. If I feel stressed then I will use my skills to relax
and regain control.
COMPLIMENTSBACK-PATS
••• Thank the students for participating andtell them that you are proud of them.
••• Tell the students that they deserve to feelgood and be in control of themselves.
••• Tell the students that everyone deals withstress and he/she can beat stress by staying in control of his/her body.
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: STRESS & ANXIETY • THE RELAXATION TECHNIQUE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
5
SKILLS LESSON RECAPRelaxing sounds simple enough but a lot of people have difficulty relaxing. Students need to learn how to relax and calm down physically, emotionally and mentally. The students need to understand that if they allow stress to build up that it can affect their ability to make decisions and maintain control. Students must also learn that there are ways they can control themselves even when they are facing problems.
T H E GOAL
CONSEQUENCES
OF NOT USING
T H I S S K I L L
B E N E F I T S
O F U S I N GT H I S S K I L L
Ignoring the stress in your life can eventually lead to negative consequences such as increased health problems, relationships troubles, and depression.
By using the simple relaxation techniques covered in this exercise you are now able to calm yourself down, both emotionally and physically, in order to remain in control of your actions during a stressful event.
••• EXERCISE KEY POINTS •••You began by making a fist with both hands, one at a time, and squeezing them as hard as you could. You then relaxed your grip allowing the tension to leave your body.
Your instructor led you in another exercise where you tightened the muscles in your arms, shoulders, neck, and stomach and then relaxed them in order to free your body of stressful tension.
You then tightened the muscles in your feet and legs and held it tight for a five count and then relaxed them.
Lastly, your instructor told you to sit there quietly in order to feel the calmness resulting from the exercise. Finally, you discussed how and where to use this relaxation exercise and why it is important.
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Stress can effect you mentally and physically. How did the relaxation technique help you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________How did you feel before the exercise?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
How did you feel during the exercise?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________
How do you feel now?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________
LIST TIMES OR PLACES WHERE YOU COULD USE THE RELAXATION EXERCISE:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
stress & anxiety
student exercise sheets
Student: ________________________________ Facilitator: ________________________________ Date: ________________
Exercise page 1 of 1, The Relaxztion Technique LMI
The Relaxation TechniqueHave you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt tremendous pressure and stress? Yes NoWhat happened? What were the physical feelings? How did you deal with it?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________
Copyright 2010
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE NEGATIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
1
THEGOAL
THEOBJECTIVE This exercise will help the students identify the areas
of their community that they need to avoid and then determine the consequences for not avoiding them.
While every community has many positive aspects and resources, every community also has negative aspects and dangerous places. The students need to know where the negative aspects of their community are and how to avoid these areas. They also need to know why these are dangerous areas and what could happen in these places.
• EXERCISE •1 Begin this exercise by spending a few minutes talking about all of the great things your community
has to offer. Talk about the fun things and places. Talk about theatres and parks and libraries and anything else fun and exciting that the community has to offer.
2 Reassure the students that they live in a great place.
3 Now tell the students that even though this is a great place to live, it also has areas that they should avoid and areas that are dangerous.
4 Ask the students to think of areas that they should avoid. Ask them to describe these areas and tell why they should be avoided. After the students have identified their areas tell them that there are four types of areas they should avoid:
• Areas that are dangerous because of the people.• Areas that are dangerous because of what is there.• Areas that have a reputation for being dangerous.• Areas they know nothing about.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE NEGATIVE
5 Ask the students what they think it means when areas are dangerous because of people? What kind of people could be dangerous? Ask the students to think of areas that could be dangerous because of the people. Use examples such as:
• Neighborhoods and areas where gangs hang out• Isolated areas where homeless people stay• Places where people are drinking or doing drugs
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE NEGATIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
2
7Talk with the students about specific areas of this community that might be dangerous because of the people. Talk about specifics such as location and the types of people that could be dangerous. Help the students understand the potential danger. For example, help them understand that if there is a person begging for money that they pass on the walk home that they should stay away from this person. The person might not be a bad person but since he or she is a stranger they need to stay away from him or her. They just don’t know this person’s intentions.
8 Help the students make a list of these places. Talk about each place and determine why it is dangerous, how it can be avoided, and the possible consequences for not avoiding it.
9 Now ask the students what they think it means when areas are dangerous because of what is there? How could a place be dangerous? What kind of things could be dangerous? Use examples such as:
• RIVERS AND LAKES• TRAIN TRACKS• HEAVY TRAFFIC• CAVERNS OR LARGE HOLES• ISOLATED PLACES• CONSTRUCTION SITES
Talk with the students for a few minutes about why these places are dangerous. Ask the students what could happen in these places that makes them dangerous. Talk about each dangerous location individually identifying the potential dangers.
Spend a few minutes talking with the students about specific places in this community that are dangerous. Talk about why these areas are dangerous and what could happen if they were to go there. Talk about the physical presence of danger and the likelihood of no trespassing laws guarding these places.
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11
6 Talk with the students for a few minutes about the dangers of being in places where dangerous people might be. Talk about how some people are mean and have no regard for their safety. Talk about how they have cannot trust all adult strangers to have good intentions.
Ask the students what they think it means when areas are dangerous because of reputation? How can an area have a bad reputation? Use examples such as:
• Areas where there are bars• Areas that are known as drug related• Areas where adult bookstores are located
12
Spend a few minutes talking with the students about the dangers of places where people have been drinking or doing drugs. Spend a few minutes talking about how places where sexually explicit materials are available are also dangerous to be near. Again, use specifics to identify dangerous areas with bad reputations and why these areas are dangerous.
13
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE NEGATIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
3
Now review all of the dangerous areas that have been discussed with the students.
Help the students make a list of places to avoid. Write the names of the places, why they should avoid them, and the possible dangers associated with each. Help the students create a personal directory that helps them determine where exactly they should not go.
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Finally spend a few minutes talking with the students about what to do should they find themselves in a dangerous place or a dangerous situation. Talk about how to go for help and who they should and should not approach.
Talk with the students about action steps to get out of a dangerous situation. Use examples such as:• CALL 911. Tell the students that there is no money required at pay phones to call 911• YELL FOR HELP. Tell the students if they are in danger the best thing to do is draw attention
to themselves by yelling for help.• GET OUT. Tell the students that getting out of a dangerous place is important before something
bad can happen.• AVOID. Tell the students that avoiding dangerous places is the best way of staying out of danger.• EXPLAIN to the students that they should take the directory they have created and use it as a
guide map of places to avoid.• REMIND the students that they live in a great community but it is important that they know not
only the resources to access but also the dangerous places to avoid.
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18
THE SUMMARY
This community has many positive things to offer the students. However, it also has dangerous people and places. The students need to know where this danger is and how to avoid it. Then they need to know how to deal with the danger should they find themselves in it.
Spend a few minutes talking about specific areas within your community that have reputations for being dangerous. Talk about why these areas are dangerous and the possible consequences for venturing into these areas.
14
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE NEGATIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
4
D I S C U S S I O NPOINTS
Why is it important to know where the dangerous places are?
How can you make sure that you don’t end up in a bad place?
What should you do to if you end up in a dangerous place?
How can a place be dangerous?
RIGHT WAYS & NO WAYSAsk the group to tell if the following is the
“Right Way” or the “No Way”
• Jason likes to take a short cut home from school. The short cut includes a busy streetand an area where homeless people hang out. (No Way)
• Miguel knows that he should not walk on certain streets after dark because they aredangerous. (Right Way)
• After the workers have gone home, Joseph likes to go to the construction site andplay with the equipment. (No Way)
• Ronald lives a couple of blocks from a bar so he makes sure that he never walks in that area during thehours the bar is open. (Right way)
&THE PLEDGE
ASK THE CLASS TO EITHER READ OR REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:
I will be safe and I will avoid places in my community that are dangerous, where dangerous people might be, and
places that I do not know about.
COMPLIMENTSBACK-PATS
••• Thank the students for participating andtell them that you are proud of them.
••• Tell the students that they live in a great place and they should be proud of their community.
••• Tell the students that they are precious toyou, their family, and their friends and they must be careful because so many people care about them.
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE NEGATIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
5
SKILLS LESSON RECAPWhile every community has many positive aspects and resources, every community also has negative aspects and dangerous places. The students need to know where the negative aspects of their community are and how to avoid these areas. They also need to know why these are dangerous areas and what could happen in these places.
T H E GOAL
CONSEQUENCES
OF NOT USING
T H I S S K I L L
B E N E F I T S
O F U S I N GT H I S S K I L L
Failing to identify and avoid the dangerous places within your community will leave you vulnerable to the negative effects of such places.
Knowing how to identify the dangerous areas within your community is the first step to avoiding the harmful elements of these areas.
••• EXERCISE KEY POINTS •••You identified areas within your own community that you should avoid. You then explained what it means when places are dangerous because of people.
You explained what it means when places are dangerous because of what is there. You described how places could be dangerous due to the presence of river and lakes, train tracks, heavy traffic, caverns or large holes, and isolated places.
You explained how places could be dangerous because of their reputations. For instance you described how places could have a bad reputation due to the presence of bars, drug activity, and areas containing adult bookstores.
With assistance from your instructor you created a list of places to avoid within your community and also discussed what you should do in the event you find yourself in a dangerous area.
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Copyright 2010
social life
student exercise sheets
Understanding Your Community - The Negatives
Think of any areas in your community that you think you should avoid because of dangerous people, because of dangerous situations, or because the area has a bad reputation.
How can you avoid these places?
What are the possible consequences of not avoiding these places?
Student: ________________________________ Facilitator: ________________________________ Date: ________________
Exercise page 1 of 1, Understanding Your Community - The Negatives LMI
What do you think it means when areas are dangerous because of people? Give some examples of places that are dangerous because of people.
What does it mean when an area is dangerous because of reputation? How can an area have a bad reputation? Give examples.
What do you think it means when areas are dangerous because of what is there? How could a place be dangerous? Give examples.
Think about and remember the following action steps you can take if you ever find yourself in a dangerous situation.
Call 911Yell for Help Get Out Avoid
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE POSITIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
1
THEGOAL
THEOBJECTIVE This exercise will help the students identify the
things they like to do and the community options they have for social and recreational events.
Every community in every city in this incredible country has something to offer kids, adults, and families. This community is no different. The students need to learn the positive aspects of their community so that they are fully aware of their social and recreational options.
• EXERCISE •1 Start this exercise by spending some time with the students talking about the things you like to do.
Tell the students what you do when you want to go and have fun.
2 Share with the students a recreational activity you have recently participated in that you really enjoyed. Use an example the students will understand such as going to the movies, hiking, or some other activity. Make sure the activity is one that can be done in or around your community.
3 While sharing this experience, tell the students who you were with, where you went, what you did, and why you enjoyed it. Help the students get a mental picture of the event and really talk about the fun you had.
4 After sharing your experience, ask the students if they have done anything fun lately. What was it? Who did they do it with? Where was it? As the students share their stories ask them questions and give the appearance of being interested and excited for them.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE POSITIVE
5 Now ask the students to think of their five favorite things they like to do alone. What are they and where are they done. As the students identify these things write the first five on the board.
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE POSITIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
2
7 Next ask the students to think of their five favorite things they like to do with friends. What are they and where are they done? As the students identify these things write the first five on the board.
8 After the students have completed all three lists, review the lists with the students. Circle all of the things and places that occur within your community.
9 As you circle the activities that occur within this community tell the students what you are doing. As you circle these events ask the students to explain why they are fun.
After you have circled all of the events that occur within this community point out to the students that their community has quite a bit to offer. Tell them that you are impressed that they know so many fun things to do, right here in your community.
Ask the students to describe the places on the list they like to go, how they get there, and what they do once they are there. Use prompts such as “Does your mom drive you there?” or “Is it walking or biking distance from your home?”
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6 Next ask the students to think of their five favorite things they like to do with family. What are they and where are they done. As the students identify these things write the first five on the board.
Explain to the students that there are many positive aspects about this community. There are places to go, things to do, and different choices to make depending on who they are with.
12
Tell the students that they need a list, or directory, of all the fun places that are safe in their community. This means that they need to know what they can do, where they can do it, and who they can do it with.
13
Tell the students that they need to create a personal directory of the places they like to go, the choices they have for going places with just friends, with family, and by themselves. Point out that they can go to places farther away with family but there might be places, such as a tree house, that makes more sense for just friends.
14
Tell the students to look at the lists on the board. Ask the students if anyone has any additions to make of something they really like to do for fun. Place these additions in the proper category of personal, friends, or family.
15
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K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
3
Now tell the students to look at the lists and then ask individual students to identify:• His or her favorite places to eat• His or her favorite places to hang out with friends• His or her favorite places to go for fun• His or her favorite quiet place• His or her favorite noisy place• His or her favorite place to spend an entire day• His or her favorite place that doesn’t cost any money
16
After the students have identified their favorite places ask the students to help you decide with whom they would go to these places and how much these places will cost.
Explain to the students that you have several favorite restaurants but you can’t eat at restaurants all of the time because it would get too expensive. They have favorite places too but cost, distance, and who they must go with (like parents) may prevent them from going as often as they would like.
17
18
THE SUMMARY
Every community has activities and resources to offer kids. The students need to know what these resources are, how to access these resources, and then how to enjoy the many community amenities. They need to create and use a personal directory of community resources so that they have a reminder of everything good the community has to offer.
After the students have identified their favorite places and the cost and distance to their favorite places ask them to identify the times they can go to these places. For example, they may only be able to go to an amusement park on the weekends or they may only be able to go to ballgames on Thursday evenings.
After these times have been noted tell the students to now look at the lists. Congratulate them on making a personal and social directory of places within this community where they can go for fun. Tell the students that they have created a list of places, costs, times, and people that they need in order to have a safe and fun time. They now have a directory of social, recreational, and fun activities for their wonderful community.
19
20
Finally, tell the students to copy the lists, including the costs and people involved, so that they have a personal directory and guide to the positives of their community.
21
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE POSITIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
4
D I S C U S S I O NPOINTS
Why is it important to know the safe and fun places in your community?
What are some things that can keep you from doing the fun things in your community as often as you would like?
Why is it important to know how much things cost?
What are your favorite things to do for fun by yourself? With friends? With your family?
RIGHT WAYS & NO WAYSAsk the group to tell if the following is the
“Right Way” or the “No Way”
• Beatrice likes to go to the mall but to get there she has to cross a really busy street.Sometimes she sneaks out of the house and goes to the mall without telling her Mom.(No Way)
• Ronald’s favorite place to sit quietly is in his backyard fort. Sometimes he will goback there just to be alone and have some quiet time. (Right Way)
• Even though Greta lives in a neighborhood with a lot of kids and some great parksshe just sits in her house all of the time feeling bored and lonely. (No Way)
• Hudson knows when all of the baseball games are going to be so that he can tell his parents and getpermission to go to the park and watch. (Right way)
&THE PLEDGE
ASK THE CLASS TO EITHER READ OR REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:
I live in a great community and I will take advantage of all the fun and safe places to go by myself, with my friends,
and with my family.
COMPLIMENTSBACK-PATS
••• Thank the students for participating and tell them that you are proud of them.
••• Tell the students that they live in a great community that has lots to offer them and their friends.
••• Tell the students that if they are careful they can have a good time by themselves, with friends, and with their family.
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LOWER MATURITY INDEX: SOCIAL LIFE • UNDERSTANDING YOUR COMMUNITY | THE POSITIVE
K. JAY BURCHAM • COPYRIGHT © 2018
5
SKILLS LESSON RECAPEvery community in every city in this incredible country has something to offer kids, adults, and families. This community is no different. The students need to learn the positive aspects of their community so that they are fully aware of their social and recreational options.
T H E GOAL
CONSEQUENCES
OF NOT USING
T H I S S K I L L
B E N E F I T S
O F U S I N GT H I S S K I L L
By ignoring the positive aspects of your community you will miss out on taking advantage of the many educational as well as entertaining opportunities around you.
By creating a personal directory of the places you like to visit and things you like to do within your community you will learn to truly appreciate all the wonderful resources that your community has to offer.
••• EXERCISE KEY POINTS •••You described a number of fun things you have done lately and answered the following questions pertaining to them: what it was, who did you do it with, and was it done in the community.
Next you described five things you like to do alone, five things you like to do with your family, and five things you like to do with friends. You then identified the activities that take place within the community.
You created a personal directory of the places you enjoy going within your community.
You then added to your personal directory of things to do, a price rating for each of the entries, their phone numbers, and times of operation.
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Copy
right
201
0
soci
al li
fe
stud
ent e
xerc
ise
shee
ts
Un
ders
tan
din
g Y
our C
omm
un
ity
- Th
e Pos
itiv
es -
Par
t 1
Hav
e yo
u d
one
anyt
hin
g fu
n la
tely
?
Wh
at w
as it
?
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h w
hom
did
you
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it?
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it d
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e co
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un
ity?
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he
char
t be
low
, lis
t yo
ur
five
fav
orit
e th
ings
to
do a
lon
e, w
ith
fam
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an
d w
ith
fri
ends
, in
dica
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her
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es t
ake
plac
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THIN
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DO AL
ONE
WHE
RE TH
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TO DO
WIT
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WHE
RE TH
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RE TH
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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Cir
cle
all o
f th
e th
ings
an
d pl
aces
abo
ve th
at o
ccu
r w
ith
in y
our
com
mu
nit
y.
Stud
ent:
___
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
_ F
acili
tato
r: _
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
___
Dat
e: _
____
____
____
___
Exer
cise
pag
e 1
of 2
, Und
erst
andi
ng Y
our C
omm
unity
- Th
e Po
sitiv
es L
MI
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ools.com
Copy
right
201
0
Lis
t all
of t
he a
ctiv
itie
s you
enjo
y th
at o
ccur
wit
hin
you
r com
mun
ity
in th
e fir
st co
lum
n be
low
.
COM
MU
NIT
Y A
CTIV
ITY
DESC
RIPT
ION
In t
he
“RA
TE
” co
lum
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nu
mbe
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tem
bas
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east
exp
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egin
nin
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1.
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er, o
n y
our
own
tim
e, l
ook
up
at t
he
addr
ess
and
phon
e n
um
bers
of
the
plac
es y
ou h
ave
nam
ed a
bove
an
d ad
d th
em t
o yo
ur
“dir
ecto
ry”.
Stud
ent:
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
Fac
ilita
tor:
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
Dat
e: _
____
____
____
___
Exer
cise
pag
e 2
of 2
, Und
erst
andi
ng Y
our C
omm
unity
- Th
e Po
sitiv
es L
MI
Cre
ate
a p
erso
nal
dir
ecto
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To ea
t
To h
ang o
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d ki
ll tim
e
To go
for e
nter
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men
t
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rite q
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pla
ces
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rite n
oisy
pla
ces
Favo
rite f
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s
Othe
r
FAVO
RITE
PLA
CES:
P
ERSO
NAL
RATE
DA
TES
RATE
F
AMIL
YRA
TE
FRIE
ND S
RATE
soci
al li
fe
stud
ent e
xerc
ise
shee
ts
Un
ders
tan
din
g You
r Com
mu
nit
y - T
he P
osit
ives
- Par
t 2
www.selforsch
ools.com
54| TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
A Crisis Response Resource from
FOR HIGHER MATURITY6th GRADE through 12th GRADE
This set of 6 lesson plans are specifically for the Higher Maturity group and can be accessed individually or you can pull the full in a single PDF file. Please note that some of these lesson titles are also listed with the Lower Maturity Group - they are a little bit different, addressing topics in different ways, according to maturity level.
Dealing with Sudden StressThis lesson will help the students understand that sudden stress, such as that experienced because of and in the wake of the hurricane, can be dealt with and controlled.
Dealing with Personal LossThis is a very poignant lesson for a student who has suffered loss because of the crisis. It will also help educators realize that loss is very personal and whether the loss is a loved one, a home, or a pet, it must be dealt with.
The Relaxation TechniqueA guided relaxation process that leads the educator through the process of bio-physical relaxation through muscle group manipulation. This is an excellent lesson for those students who are experiencing residual fear from the hurricanes.
Controlling YourselfThis is a short lesson that will help the students understand the need for personal and self-control in the face of sometimes out-of-control circumstances.
10 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
Understanding Your Community - The NegativesThis lesson will help your teachers and your students redefine their community in the wake of the crisis. The lesson will lead the group through the process of identifying the areas of their community that need to be avoided for safety’s sake. (This lesson title is found in both the lower and higher maturity groups, with variations by age)
Understanding Your Community - The PositivesThis lesson is similar to the lesson above but it focuses on the positive places that the community offers the students. (A variation of this title is also in lower maturity set)
MORE RESOURCES If you have questions or want to get more information about social and emotional learning (SEL) tools like those in this guide, we encourage you to visit our website, SELforSchools.com. There are many more free lesson plans, testimonials and a lot of research-ready material available for you to find and use.
Inquiries about acquiring the full LEAPS program for your school district, school, church or any other organization can be made by calling 877-775-3277 or Email [email protected]
A Crisis Response Resource from
Anger—Controlling Yourself—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 1
the objective
e x e r c i s e
Controlling Yourself
the goal
Every person has the ability to control their own behavior and will be held accountable for their own actions. The students need to learn that they will be held accountable for everything they do. This includes reactions that are driven by anger. The students need to learn how to control actions, thoughts, and reactions so that they remain in complete control. It’s also important to learn that when control is lost, there will be consequences for actions.
This exercise will help the students realize the need for maintaining self-control and the consequences they will face when they do not maintain that control.
1 Begin this lesson by telling the students that total honesty is very important for this lesson.
Explain that when there is no participation there is no benefit.
2 Share with the students a time in your life when you became angry and lost control. Tell the students what happened that led you to anger, how you responded, and the consequences of your actions. If you have an example of a time when you had a bad outcome, this would be a good example to share. Be sure to keep the example age appropriate.
3 Explain to the students that everyone, including you, deals with emotions on a daily basis. And
everyone, including you, will sometimes lose control of those emotions.
Anger—Controlling Yourself—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www selforschools.com © 2018
Page 2
4 Ask the students to think of times they have lost emotional control. What happened? What did
they do? What were the consequences?
5 Ask the students to think of some of the consequences that go with losing self-control due to
the following emotions:
• anger
• grief
• jealousy
• hatred
6 Ask the students to think of times they have experienced these emotions. What happened? How
did these emotions feel? How did they deal with these emotions? Were the consequences good or bad?
7 Explain to the students that even though everyone deals with emotions and everyone has times
when these emotions can feel overpowering, people will still be held accountable for everything they do.
8 Share the following with the students:
Joe is walking home from mowing lawns during the summer. It has rained a little, so it is very humid and very hot. He has had a long day and is exhausted. As Joe rounds a corner, a car comes by really fast, hitting a water puddle next to Joe and throwing water all over him. The car pulls to a nearby stop sign and stops.
9 Tell the students to write down what would happen next if they were Joe. Have them write down
what emotions they feel as well as what they would do.
Anger—Controlling Yourself—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 3
11 Tell the students to share what they thought the consequences to each of Joe’s reactions would
be.
12 Now explain that the students have no way of knowing what the consequence would be because
they have no way of knowing who is in the car. For example, how would Joe’s actions have different consequences if the driver were:
• Joe’s best friend’s mother
• Joe’s preacher
• A policeman
• Four men in their early twenties and obvious gang members
• One of Joe’s teachers
• Joe’s aunt and uncle
13 Ask the students how the consequences to Joe’s reactions would be different for each of the
scenarios listed above.
10 Tell the students that Joe is overcome with anger and explain the different examples of how Joe
reacted. Have the students write down what they think would happen to Joe after each reaction.
• Joe is overcome with anger. He sees a rock sitting near the curb, picks it up and throws itat the back window of the car.
• Joe is furious as he looks at his clothes and equipment. Everything is covered with water.In his frustration he screams out several profanities at the car as it sits a few yardsaway.
• In his state of exhaustion, Joe has had more than he can take. He sits down on the curb,places his head in his hands, and begins to cry.
• In his state of anger, Joe leaves his equipment sitting on the curb and runs to the car. Hebangs on the window, screaming for the driver to get out and fight.
Anger—Controlling Yourself—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www,selforschools.com © 2018
Page 4
14 Explain to the students that when they react rather than maintaining composure, there is no self
-control and they are subject to bad consequences.
15 Also explain to the students that losing control and reacting to emotions are an easy way to get
yourself into an uncontrollable situation; for example, Joe and a car full of gang members.
16 Ask the students to think of ways Joe could have maintained control.
17 Now ask the students to think back to when they lost control. How could the ideas for Joe be
applied to the situation they faced? How would the outcome have been different?
18 Share the following calming down techniques with the students:
• Count to five while taking a deep breath – this may sound corny but it is amazing thecontrol you can gain when you stop yourself, even for a short moment, before reacting.
• Clench your fists and count to ten while maintaining a firm clench – this will help you focusyour immediate reaction into a muscle grouping. When you release there will be a physicalrelease of pressure and that will help you gain an element of control over your immediatereaction.
• Close your eyes and count to ten – closing your eyes will give you an opportunity to calmdown because you are unlikely to react when you can’t see where you are going or to whomyou are reacting. This will also give you a quick moment of escape from the situation thathas caused your emotional response.
19 Tell the students that there are many other ways to gain control. Either by sheer willpower or by
a learned trick, control can be gained and maintained.
Anger—Controlling Yourself—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 5
summary
Losing control can be an easy thing to do, especially when you have a hard time controlling your
emotions. The students need to understand that losing control just because they become
angry will not lessen the consequences. In fact, it can do long-term damage to the student’s
reputation and relationships. There are very real consequences for actions, and the students
need to be in complete control, or they will face the consequences.
Anger—Controlling Yourself—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 6
Share a time with the students when you let your emotions get out of control. Share a time when you ended up having unpleasant consequences. Help the students realize that everyone loses control and it is something that can be addressed.
When the students are writing down the consequences for Joe’s reactions do not discuss the consequences until all of the reactions have been given.
When discussing the different people that were in the car reverse the situation and put the students in the car. Then put a member of the student’s family in the car.
• Help the students understand that they are not alone in dealing with
the strain of emotions.
• Help the students understand that just because everyone deals with
emotions, it doesn’t mean their behavior will merit a free ride.
• Help the students personalize the lesson by helping them think of times when control
was lost.
• Explore the cause and the consequences, and how the results would have been different if
they had maintained control.
prob
ing
and hints
points
questions • What does it feel like when you get so mad that you start to lose
control ? How do you regain control ?
• Have you ever seen anyone totally lose control ? What happened ?How did other people react to this person ?
• How do you think other people react to you when you fly off the han-dle and lose control ? Is this a good thing ? Why or why not ?
outc
omes
ta
lkin
g
Anger—Controlling Yourself—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 7
Skills Lesson Recap
Every person has the ability to control their own behavior and will be held accountable for their own actions. Through this exercise you learned that you will be held accountable for everything you do, and that when you lose control there will be consequences for your actions. This includes reactions that are driven by anger. You were also instructed on how to control your actions, thoughts, and reactions so that you remain in complete control of yourself.
ex
erc
ise
key points • During this exercise you discussed different times in your life when you lost control of youremotions and how the loss of that control contributed to negative consequences.
• This exercise uses a scenario to illustrate how different reactions to a stressful situation willlead to different consequences. You discussed experiences in your own life that led you to losecontrol and how the different reactions discussed in the scenario might have led to differentresults.
• The instructor led you through a number of calming techniques that will assist you in regainingyour composure during stressful situations in order for you to control the situation rather thanthe situation controlling you.
• This lesson reinforced the fact that you are ultimately held accountable for your own actionsand that by learning to manage the range of emotions which often cause loss of control you will bebetter equipped to handle difficult situations.
consequence of not using t
his s
kill
By failing to manage your actions, thoughts, and reactions in a consistent manner you will beperceived as someone who is out of control and therefore cannot be trusted to respond appropriately during stressful situations.
You will experience a higher degree of control of your environment. As a result of being able to control yourself during difficult situations you will also be perceived as someone that can be trusted to make good decisions no matter the circumstances.
of using this skill
be
ne
fit
s
the goal
Cop
yrig
ht 20
18
Stu
dent
: ___
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
_ F
acilit
ator
: ___
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
_ D
ate:
___
____
____
____
_
Ange
r—Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf—H
ighe
r M
I st
uden
texe
rcis
eshe
ets
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 1
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 1
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 1
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 1
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 1
Thi
nk o
f ti
mes
whe
n yo
u ha
ve lo
st c
ontr
ol o
f yo
ur e
mot
ions
. In
the
firs
t ro
w, a
nsw
er t
he q
uest
ions
pre
sent
ed. N
ext,
thi
nk o
f ti
mes
you
hav
e ex
peri
ence
dea
ch e
mot
ion
liste
d be
low
, and
ans
wer
the
sam
e qu
esti
ons
for e
ach
one.
Sce
nario
Sce
nario
Sce
nario
Sce
nario
Sce
nario
Jo
e is
wal
king
ho
me
fro
m m
ow
ing
law
ns d
urin
g th
e su
mm
er.
It h
as r
aine
d a
litt
le, s
o it
is v
ery
hum
id a
nd v
ery
hot.
He
has
had
a lo
ng d
ay a
nd h
e’s
exha
uste
d.
As
Jo
e ro
und
s a
corn
er, a
car
co
mes
by
real
ly f
ast
hitt
ing
a w
ater
pud
dle
nex
t to
whe
re J
oe
is s
tand
ing,
thr
ow
ing
wat
er a
ll o
ver
him
.
The
car
pul
ls t
o a
nea
rby
sto
p si
gn a
nd s
tops
.
If y
ou
wer
e J
oe,
ho
w w
oul
d y
ou
have
rea
cted
to
thi
s ev
ent?
Wha
t em
oti
ons
wo
uld
yo
u ha
ve f
elt?
Wha
t w
oul
d y
ou
have
do
ne?
your
exa
mp
le
ang
er
grie
f
jea
lous
y
hatr
ed
EM
OT
ION
WH
AT
HA
PP
EN
ED
?H
OW
DID
YO
U F
EE
L?W
HA
T D
ID Y
OU
DO
?CO
NS
EQUE
NCE
S?
Exe
rcis
e pa
ge 1
of 2
, Ang
er &
Em
otio
nal M
anag
emen
t - C
ontr
ollin
g Y
ours
elf
ww
w.se
lfors
choo
ls.co
m
Cop
yrig
ht 20
18
Stu
dent
: ___
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
_ F
acilit
ator
: ___
____
____
____
____
____
____
____
_ D
ate:
___
____
____
____
_
Ange
r—Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf—H
ighe
r M
I st
uden
texe
rcis
eshe
ets
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 2
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 2
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 2
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 2
Co
ntro
lling
Yo
urse
lf -
Par
t 2
Rea
ctio
n 1:
R
eact
ion
1:
Rea
ctio
n 1:
R
eact
ion
1:
Rea
ctio
n 1:
Jo
e is
ove
rco
me
wit
h an
ger.
He
sees
a r
ock
sit
ting
nea
r th
e cu
rb, p
icks
it u
p, a
nd t
hro
ws
it a
t th
e ca
r, b
reak
ing
the
back
win
do
w.
Rea
ctio
n 2
: R
eact
ion
2:
Rea
ctio
n 2
: R
eact
ion
2:
Rea
ctio
n 2
: J
oe
is f
urio
us a
s he
loo
ks a
t hi
s cl
oth
es a
nd e
quip
men
t. E
very
thin
g is
cove
red
in w
ater
. In
his
fru
stra
tio
n, h
e sc
ream
s o
ut s
ever
al p
rofa
niti
es a
t th
e ca
ras
it s
its
a fe
w y
ard
s aw
ay.
Rea
ctio
n 3
: R
eact
ion
3:
Rea
ctio
n 3
: R
eact
ion
3:
Rea
ctio
n 3
: In
his
sta
te o
f ex
haus
tio
n, J
oe
has
had
mo
re t
han
he c
an t
ake.
He
sits
do
wn
on
the
curb
, pla
ces
his
head
in h
is h
and
s, a
nd b
egin
s to
cry
.
Rea
ctio
n 4
: R
eact
ion
4:
Rea
ctio
n 4
: R
eact
ion
4:
Rea
ctio
n 4
: In
his
sta
te o
f an
ger,
Jo
e le
aves
his
equ
ipm
ent
sitt
ing
on
the
curb
and
runs
to
the
car
. H
e ba
ngs
on
the
win
do
w, s
crea
min
g fo
r th
e d
rive
r to
get
out
and
figh
t.
PO
SS
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Stress and Anxiety—Dealing With Personal Loss—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschool.com © 2018
Page 1
the objective
e x e r c i s e
Dealing with a Personal Loss
the goal
Few things affect a person like losing a loved one. Whether it’s a friend, family member or even a pet, losing someone significant leaves a void in life. The students must realize that everyone faces loss at some point and although it is difficult for everyone, the person prepared to deal with the loss and the person with a network of support will be the one best prepared to make it through the tough times. The students must know that grief is natural and everyone suffering from a loss senses personal devastation. However, it’s imperative to know from whom to find support, and that they are needed and loved. This is done before personal loss happens because far too often, trauma and grief prevent good decision-making.
This exercise deals with issues that are likely to make the students emotional. Take time to talk the students through their emotions, and validate any feelings of grief or loss as legitimate feelings. Reassure the students that there is nothing wrong with having strong emotions following the loss of someone close.
1 Begin this exercise with a reassurance to the students that everyone, including you, has had to
deal with the loss of someone close. But this shared experience of loss makes it no less painful for any single person.
2 Let the students know that the purpose of discussing the loss of a loved one it is not to dredge
up bad feelings or grief, but to share these emotions in a healthy, cathartic, open manner. .
3 Explain that sharing an emotion is one of the best ways to deal with it.
4 Explain that when the students “bottle up” emotions and don’t deal with them, they are taking a
risk that someday the emotions may accumulate and become overwhelming.
Stress and Anxiety—Dealing With Personal Loss—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 2
5 Ask the students if they have ever taken a can of soda and shaken it. What happens when the can
is opened? Explain that emotions are like that soda. They reside within us and when something happens to disturb them they can become volatile. When we do not deal with our emotions, they overwhelm us and at some point we explode.
6 Share a time in your life when you lost someone close to you. Share this experience so that the
emotions the students are feeling are validated through the similarity of your emotions.
7 Share how the loss impacted you immediately. How did you handle the loss? What did it do to you
on a day-to-day basis?
8 Now share how you went about finding support to deal with the loss. What did you do to finally
work your way through the emotions of your loss?
9 Reassure the students that dealing with the emotions of a significant loss in no way minimizes
the legitimacy of the sorrow but it instead it gives them a healthy way to deal with these feelings.
10 Ask the students to reflect on the story you shared. Ask for the similarities with the loss they
have experienced.
11 Ask the students to imagine themselves as your best friend at the time of your loss. How would
they help you through this very real sorrow? What would they say? What would they do? Where would they go to find help for you?
12 Assume the role of your younger self, wanting to find solace and needing the students to help
you find support. Put the students in the role of helping you deal with your grief and focusing on your pain. This will allow the students to focus on helping rather than grieving and will give them the opportunity to identify avenues of support.
13 After the students have helped identify ways you could deal with your grief, thank them.
Stress and Anxiety—Dealing With Personal Loss—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 3
14 Explain that the students just played the role of support for someone in need and often times that critical role is what is necessary for someone to get past the initial emotional shock of a loss.
15 Validate the feelings of anger, sadness, and confusion following a loss. Tell the students that
each of these emotions is a legitimate response to losing someone.
16 Now explain that when these emotions are present and significant in life, they can overtake the
student’s ability to deal with them. Emotions can become so powerful that they become encompassing.
17 Explain that these powerful responses to emotions are why everyone needs someone to help support them through times of loss. These powerful emotions can cloud judgment and become the focal point of the students’ life if they don’t seek and receive support in dealing with them.
18 Ask the students to identify three people they can turn to for support and help.
19 Ask the students to identify what type of support and/or help to expect to receive from each of
these people.
20 Now develop a plan with the students to contact each of these people. Help work through when
the students will contact each one of them, what to say, and the likely emotions they will be dealing with.
21 Reassure the students that personal losses are not an easy thing to overcome. However, they
owe it to themselves to deal with and control the emotions associated with a loss, before the emotions gain control.
22 Finally, if the students are despondent over the loss, review the resources in your community for
grief and emotional support that are available on a 24-hour basis. Make sure the students understand that help can be reached at any point in time if they feel emotions are putting them at risk.
Stress and Anxiety—Dealing With Personal Loss—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 4
summary
The students have suffered a personal loss. Although everyone deals with the loss of a
loved one, when it happens you feel like your pain is unique and bigger than anyone else’s.
The students need to learn that these emotions are justifiable and that anger, sadness,
and confusion are perfectly healthy responses to a loss. However, the students also
need to learn how to deal with these emotions, find support for working their way
through these emotions, and how to access support, should these emotions become too
intense.
Stress and Anxiety—Dealing With Personal Loss—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 5
Loss of a loved one is a personal struggle, and the students will need to know that trust has been established before they will share their loss with you. Gain trust by helping the student see and understand your personal loss. Also the student to understand that you are offering help because you have experienced something similar. Help them know that you understand.
Constantly validate the emotions the students are feeling. Tell them thatthese emotions are legitimate responses to their loss but also reassure them that these emotions must be dealt with.
Personal recollections can build trust with the student. Make sure it is an experience you are comfortable sharing and one you can share while maintaining control of your own emotions. Remember that you are modeling emotional control for the students.
• Talk with the students about all of the different emotions associ-
ated with a personal loss.
• Reinforce the accessibility of help if the students are beginning to
feel overwhelmed by emotions.
• Explain that although a loss is very personal, it is not isolated. Everyone suffers a per-
sonal loss at some point and many people have learned to rely on the people that are close
to them to get through this difficult time.
prob
ing
and hints
points
questions • Describe the emotions you felt after your loss. Are you still feeling
these same emotions?
• With whom do you share your good times?
• To whom can you turn when you need help?
• Do you know how to get help if you begin to feel overwhelmed by youremotions? How?
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Stress and Anxiety—Dealing With Personal Loss—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 6
Skills Lesson Recap
Few things affect a person like losing a loved one. Whether it’s a friend, family member or even a pet, losing someone significant leaves a void in life. The students must realize that everyone faces loss at some point and although it is difficult for everyone, the person prepared to deal with the loss and the person with a network of support will be the one best prepared to make it through the tough times. The students must know that grief is natural and everyone suffering from a loss senses personal devastation. However, it’s imperative to know from whom to find support, and that they are needed and loved. This is done before personal loss happens because far too often, trauma and grief prevent good decision-making.
ex
erc
ise
key points • You learned that sharing your emotions with someone else is the best way of dealing with a per-
sonal loss. You also learned that holding feelings inside you will eventually overwhelm you with the emotional pressure.
• Your instructor shared with you a time when they suffered a personal loss and how they dealtwith that loss. You then described how you would have provided support for your instructor had you been their best friend at the time.
• You identified three people you could turn to for support if needed.
• With assistance from your instructor you developed a plan to contact each of the people youidentified for support.
consequence of not using t
his s
kill
Without establishing a support system prior to experiencing a tragic event, such as the loss of a friend or family member, you lack the essential resources necessary to appropriately deal with the multitude of emotions that could cause lasting damage to your life.
You are now capable of experiencing and managing a personal loss without the fear of allowing the event to totally consume you both mentally and physically. You also now know the importance of knowing your support network and how to reach out to these people for help.
of using this skill
be
ne
fit
s
the goal
Copyright 2018
Dealing with a Personal LossDealing with a Personal LossDealing with a Personal LossDealing with a Personal LossDealing with a Personal Loss
What type of support should you expect to get from these people?
Develop a plan to contact one or more of these people in the event of a sudden loss.
What community resources are available?
Imagine that your best friend has just lost someone very close to them.
What kinds of emotions might they be feeling?
How would you help them?
What would you say?
What would you do?
Where would you go to find help for your best friend?
Identify three people you could turn to for support and help if you lost a loved one.1.2.3.
Student: ________________________________ Facilitator: ________________________________ Date: ________________
Exercise page 1 of 1, Dealing With a Personal Loss
STRESS AND ANXIETY
studentexercisesheets
www.selforschools.com
Stress and Anxiety—Dealing with Sudden Stress—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 1
the objective
e x e r c i s e
Dealing With Sudden Stress
the goal
At some point in every person’s life something will happen that causes sudden and extreme stress. The death of a loved one, a car wreck, or an injury are examples of things that happen unexpectedly and can have a significant impact. The goal of this lesson is to help the students learn what to do when a significant event causes sudden and extreme stress. This lesson should also help the students identify from whom and where support can be received to deal with a suddenly stressful situation.
This exercise will help the students identify their supports for sudden and extreme stress and know how to access those supports.
1 Ask the students to think of a time when everything was going well and then something bad suddenly happened that caused a lot of stress. Give examples such as the loss of a loved one, an automobile accident, a serious injury etc.
2 Ask the students to think of how they felt before, during, and after the event. Ask the students
to compare and contrast their mental and physical well-being before the event, immediately after the event, and then the long-term effect.
3 Help the students think of the short and long-term things they did to deal with the sudden event,
as well as the effects of the stress.
4 Now help the students identify the things they would do differently and write these down for
later reference. Ask the students to use the experience and maturity they have gained since the event to think of how they would have dealt with the event differently.
Stress and Anxiety—Dealing with Sudden Stress—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 2
5 Ask the students why some of the reactions to the situation could have been better. Work with
the students to think of what those better reactions could have been.
6 Explain that no one is ever prepared for significant stress that comes from a sudden
unanticipated event.
7 Explain that the best we can do is know to whom and where we go for support and what we do to
personally deal with the stress.
8 Ask the students to identify to whom they would go for support should a similar event happen
again. Who would that be? TO whom would they reach out to for help? To whom would they lookto for solace when in grief?
9 Explain that it is very important to know who your sources for support would be should something
unexpected and stressful happen.
10 Work with the students to prepare a list of the people to turn to for help and where these people
can be found. Work through different stress-inducing scenarios and help the students think of whom they would turn to for help.
11 After the list is complete, reassure the students that it’s unlikely this list will be used anytime
soon but when and if that day occurs, it is important to have this list.
summary
When something unexpected and stressful happens, the effects can be devastating.
When a person is subjected to a stressful event to the point of physical illness, then
that person likely will need help to get through the event. The students must know to
whom they can turn, how to get in touch with that person, and where to turn for help.
The students need to realize that reaching out for help is very necessary and mature
when something extreme happens.
Stress and Anxiety—Dealing with Sudden Stress—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 3
This exercise deals with possible traumatic events in the students’ life. Be prepared for the students to become emotional and possibly angry at having to deal with the trauma again.
Be supportive and reassure the students that their efforts to deal with the situation were valid and that you are here to help them think of more ways to deal with similar situations and where to find help.
If the students are reluctant to share, use a personal example of a situation with sudden and extreme stress and then share how you dealt with it and what you would have done differently.
• Talk with the students about the need to reach out to other people
for support when things go really bad.
• Reassure the students that finding help, and even solace, is not a
sign of weakness but rather a very human need.
• Talk with the students about their support system, and determine
who they could turn to for support should they need it again.
prob
ing
and hints
points
questions • Who do you turn to when you really need to talk?
• If something really bad happened, where would you go? Why?
• Who do you rely on when you need help? When you are angry? Whenyou are upset? When you are sad?
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Stress and Anxiety—Dealing with Sudden Stress—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 4
Skills Lesson Recap
At some point in every person’s life something will happen that causes sudden and extreme stress. The death of a loved one, a car wreck, or an injury are examples of things that happen unexpectedly and can have a significant impact. The goal of this lesson is to help the students learn what to do when a significant event causes sudden and extreme stress. This lesson should also help the students identify from whom and where support can be received to deal with a suddenly stressful situation.
ex
erc
ise
key points • You described a time in your life when something suddenly happened that caused a lot of
stress. You also described how you felt before, during, and after the event.
• You discussed the short and long term things you did in order to deal with the stressful event.
• You described how you would handle the same situation knowing what you know now. You ex-plained why you felt your reactions could have been better.
• You described who you would go to for support if you were to experience a tragic event in yourlife.
consequence of not using t
his s
kill
Not knowing how to seek support from someone else when faced with a sudden stressful event will leave you alone and un-aided during a time of need. This will add to your stress and make it harder to recover from the event that caused the stress.
Dealing with sudden and extreme stress is never easy. But by knowing who you can lean on for support and where to go for help you are much better prepared if a stressful event were to occur.
of using this skill
be
ne
fit
s
the goal
Copyright 2018
Dealing With Sudden StressDealing With Sudden StressDealing With Sudden StressDealing With Sudden StressDealing With Sudden Stress
THINK OF A SUDDEN UNEXPECTED STRESSFUL EVENTTHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD DO DIFFERENTLYIF A SIMILAR EVENT HAPPENED AGAIN?
How did you feel before the event?
How did you feel during the event?
How did you feel immediately after the event?
What was the long-term effect of the event?
Before:
During:
After:
Long-Term:
List the people you would want to go to for support if something bad suddenly happened:
1. __________________________
2. __________________________
3. __________________________
4. __________________________
5. __________________________
STRESS AND ANXIETY
studentexercisesheets
Student: ________________________________ Facilitator: ________________________________ Date: ________________
Exercise page 1 of 1, Dealing with Sudden Stress www.selforschools.com
Stress & Anxiety—The Relaxation Technique—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 1
e x e r c i s e
The Relaxation Technique
the goal
Relaxation sounds simple enough. Almost anyone can think of times and places that are relaxing such as the beach or the mountains. However, relaxing in the face of adversity or stress is a much different type of relaxation requiring physical and mental control. The students must learn how to calm themselves down in a hostile or stressful situation and control their physical reaction to the stress they are enduring so that they can control their mental processes as well. The students need to understand that decisions made under the duress of stress are rarely good decisions. There are also real physical complications from stress that is left unabated. The following session will teach the students a comprehensive relaxation technique that can be employed at the end of a stressful day or anytime when they need to calm down. The relaxation technique is designed to relieve physical tension by controlling muscle groups. This physical relief allows for mental and emotional release of tension.
the objective This exercise should be modeled and practiced within the session, with you modeling the process of muscle control and breathing practices for physical relaxation.
1 Welcome the students and tell them that they are going to learn a skill today that could come in
handy throughout the rest of their life.
2 Ask the students if they have ever found themselves in a situation where they felt tremendous
pressure and stress. What happened? What were the physical feelings associated with the stress? How did they deal with it?
3 Affirm for the students that stress can be a very unpleasant experience. Explain that stress
can affect the students:
Mentally - stress can cause them to not think clearly and to make poor decisions
Physically - stress can wear them down and even make them susceptible to illness
Socially - stress can cause them to act in a way that causes other people to not want to be associated with them and can make socializing seem very unattractive
Intellectually - prolonged stress can cause them to think irrationally and perform poorly
Stress & Anxiety—The Relaxation Technique—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 2
4 Point out to the students that stress can be very damaging both in the short and long term.
Explain that complications can be:
Short Term: Irritability Irrational Thinking Loss of Sleep Lack of Perspective
Long Term: Physical complications such as heart problems Social complications such as loss of friends due to irritability Illness brought about by suppressed immune system
5 Explain to the students that stress can be problematic, especially when left unattended.
6 Point out to the students that every one will experience stress. What separates the people that
can deal with stress from the people who succumb to stress is their ability to immediately confront and control the stress, their ability to keep stress from accumulating, and their ability to gain perspective and composure and minimize the physical impact of stress.
7 Explain to the students that they are going to learn an exercise that will help them control the
physical onset of stress thereby allowing better control of the mental process of stress.
Stress & Anxiety—The Relaxation Technique—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 3
8 Instruct the students to sit in a comfortable position. Model this position and assure the students that this process will help them feel better. Walk the students through the following exercise, modeling as you direct:
• “Start by relaxing your arms either to your side or on the arm rests of your chair. Nowmake a fist with your right hand.
• Squeeze it as hard as you can.
• Hold the fist tight and feel how tense it is.
• Hold the fist to a count of five (facilitator led count).
• Now release your fist and let your hand rest.
• Feel how the tension seems to be leaving the hand and how it feels different from whenyou were squeezing your fist. The tight fist is an example of a tense muscle and when you loosen your fist that tingling you feel is the tension leaving the muscle.
• Now make a fist with your left hand.
• Squeeze it as hard as you can.
• Hold the fist tight and feel how tense it is. Hold the fist to a count of five (count aloud).• Now release your fist and let your hand rest.
• Feel how the tension seems to be leaving the hand and how it feels different from whenyou were squeezing your fist.”
• “Now tighten the muscles in both arms and hold them tight for a count of five (countaloud).
• Now release and feel the tingle of the muscles beginning to relax.
• Now let’s move on to the shoulders and neck.
• Tighten these muscles and hold (count aloud).
• Good, now relax.
• Now let’s try your hands, arms, shoulders, neck and stomach all at the same time.
• Tighten these muscles and hold them tight for a count of five (count aloud). Good nowrelax. Feel how your muscles are a little bit tired and tingling. This is how it feels when stress leaves your body.”
“Now, as you relax all of the muscles in your upper body, tighten the muscles in your feet and lower legs and hold them tight (count aloud). Good, now relax. Feel the tingling of the mus-cles. Now tighten the muscles in your upper legs and feel the tension (count aloud). Good, now relax.”
“Now just sit quietly for a moment and feel the calmness in your muscles.”
“Isn’t it incredible how when your muscles are relaxed you feel a mental calmness as well.
Now that you have learned how to relax your muscles, you can relax your mind as well. When you are in a stressful situation just take a moment. Tighten a fist, count to five and let go. Feel the tension in that one part of your body release.”
Stress & Anxiety—The Relaxation Technique—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 4
summary
Everyone deals with stress and stressful situations. It is important for the students
to understand how to control the impact of the stress by controlling the physical
effects of stress. By learning to manipulate muscular tension, breathing patterns,
and heart rate, the students can reduce the physical effects of stress, and thereby
increase the ability to control the mental and emotional processes involved.
11 Explain to the students that when they are faced with stress that is causing a physical reaction
to tension, they can control the stress both physically and mentally.
12 Challenge the students to try using this technique at home and as a preventative for future
stress.
10 Point out to the students that as their muscles and body relaxed, so did their mental state.
9 Ask the students to share the feelings they had as their muscles released the induced physical
stress caused by tightening the muscles. Ask them how it felt as the tension left their body.
Stress & Anxiety—The Relaxation Technique—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 5
During the exercise feel free to stop and explain the rationale for each step.
Help the students to understand the value of relaxation and that sometimes their physical response to stress is what creates additional emotional stress.
Model each step of the exercise so that the students are more likely to participate.
Model relaxation through the tone of your voice, your breathing pattern, and the pace of the exercise.
• Talk with the students about the need for learning to relax physically in order to controlthemselves emotionally.
• Discuss times and places that the students could use all or part ofthe relaxation exercise.
• Explain to the students how any one part of the exercise can be usedif it is not possible to do the entire thing. For example, if the students are feeling stressed over a test, they can stop for a moment and do the hands exercise. This small tension reliever may provide just enough physical relief for emotional and mental clarity.
• Talk about the feeling of relaxation, and whether feeling relaxed made the students a littleless stressed.
prob
ing
and hints
points
questions • How did you feel before the relaxation exercise? During the exercise?
How about now?
• Tell me how you felt mentally after relaxing physically.
• When could you use this relaxation exercise?
• When could you only use part of the exercise, such as tightening onlyyour fists?
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Stress & Anxiety—The Relaxation Technique—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 6
Skills Lesson Recap
Relaxation sounds simple enough. Almost anyone can think of time and places that are relaxing such as the beach or the mountains. However, relaxing in the face of adversity or stress is a much different type of relaxation requiring physical and mental control. Today you learned how to calm yourself down in a hostile or stressful situation and control your physical reaction to stress. You also learned that decisions made under the duress of stress are rarely good decisions. There are real physical complications from stress that is left unabated.
ex
erc
ise
key points
• You began by making a fist with both hands, one at a time, and squeezing them as hard as youcould. You then relaxed your grip allowing the tension to leave your body.
• Your instructor led you in another exercise where you tightened the muscles in your arms, shoul-ders, neck, and stomach and then relaxed them in order to free your body of stressful tension.
• You then tightened the muscles in your feet and legs and held it tight for a five count and thenrelaxed them.
• Lastly, your instructor told you to sit there quietly in order to feel the calmness resulting fromthe exercise. Finally, you discussed how and where to use this relaxation exercise and why it is important.
consequence of not using t
his s
kill
Ignoring the stress in your life can eventually lead to negative consequences such as increased health problems, relationships troubles, and depression.
By using the simple relaxation techniques covered in this ex-ercise you are now able to calm yourself down, both emotion-ally and physically, in order to remain in control of your actions during a stressful event.
of using this skill
be
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fit
s
the goal
Copyright2010
The Relaxation TechniqueThe Relaxation TechniqueThe Relaxation TechniqueThe Relaxation TechniqueThe Relaxation Technique
Stress can effect you mentally and physically. How did the relaxation technique help you?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
How did you feel before the exercise?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
How did you feel during the exercise?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
How do you feel now?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
LIST TIMES OR PLACES WHERE YOU COULD USE THE RELAXATION EXERCISE:
1 .
2.
3.
4.
5.
STRESS AND ANXIETY
studentexercisesheets
Student: ________________________________ Facilitator: ________________________________ Date: ________________
Exercise page 1 of 1, The Relaxztion Technique
What happened? What were the physical feelings? How did you deal with it?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt tremendous pressure and stress? Yes No
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Social—Understanding Your Community: The Negatives—Higher
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 1
Understanding Your Community: The Negatives
While every community has many positive aspects and resources, every community also has negative aspects and dangerous places. The students need to know where the negative aspects of their community are and how to avoid these areas. They also need to know why these are dangerous areas and the possible consequences for going into them.
This exercise will help the students identify the areas of their community that they need to avoid and then determine the consequences for not avoiding them.
1 Begin this exercise by spending a few minutes talking about all of the great things this community
has to offer. Talk about the fun things and the resources. Talk about theatres and parks and libraries.
2 Affirm for the students that they live in a great place.
3 Now tell the students that even though this is a great place to live, it also has areas that they
should avoid and areas that are dangerous.
4 Ask the students to think of areas that they should avoid. Tell the students that there are three
types of areas they should avoid:
• Areas that are dangerous because of the people.
• Areas that are dangerous because of what is there.
• Areas that have a bad reputation.
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Negatives—Higher
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 2
5 Ask the students what they think it means when areas are dangerous because of people? What
kind of people could be dangerous? Ask the students to think of areas that could be dangerous because of the people. Use examples such as:
• Neighborhoods where gangs are prevalent
• Isolated areas where transients might be
• Places where people are drinking or doing drugs
6 Talk with the students for a few minutes about the dangers of being in places where dangerous
people might be. Talk about how some people are mean and have no regard for their safety.
7 Talk with the students about specific areas of this community that might be dangerous because of
the people.
8 Help the students make a list of these places. Talk about each place and determine why it is
dangerous, how it can be avoided, and the possible consequences for not avoiding it.
9 Now ask the students what they think it means when areas are dangerous because of what is
there? How could a place be dangerous? What kind of things could be dangerous. Use examples such as:
• Rivers and lakes
• Train tracks
• Heavy traffic
• Caverns or large holes
10 Talk with the students for a few minutes about why these places are dangerous. Ask the students
what could happen in these places that make them dangerous.
11 Spend a few minutes talking with the students about specific places in this community that are
dangerous. Talk about why these areas are dangerous and what could happen if they were to go there. Talk about the physical presence of danger and the likelihood of laws protecting these places from trespassers.
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Negatives—Higher
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 3
12 Ask the students what they think it means when areas are dangerous because of reputation?
How can an area have a bad reputation? Use examples such as:
• Areas where there are bars
• Areas that are known as drug related
• Areas where adult bookstores are located
13 Spend a few minutes talking with the students about the dangers of places where people have
been drinking or doing drugs. Spend a few minutes talking about how places where sexually explicit materials are available are also dangerous to hang around.
14 Spend a few minutes talking about specific areas within this community that have bad reputations
for being dangerous. Talk about why these areas are dangerous and the possible consequences for venturing into these areas.
15 Now review all of the dangerous areas that have been discussed with the students.
16 Finally spend a few minutes talking with the students about what to do should they find
themselves in a dangerous place or a dangerous situation.
17 Talk with the students about action steps to get out of a dangerous situation. Use examples such
as:
• Call 911. Tell the students that no money is required at pay phones to call 911.
• Yell for help. Tell the students if they are in danger the best thing to do is draw attentionto themselves by yelling for help.
• Get out. Tell the students that getting out of a dangerous place is important beforesomething bad can happen.
• Avoid. Tell the students that avoiding dangerous places is the best way of staying out ofdanger.
• Explain to the students that they should take the directory they have created and use itas a guide map of places to avoid.
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Negatives—Higher
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 4
18 Remind the students that they live in a great community, but it is important that they know not
only the resources to access, but also the dangerous places to avoid.
summary This community has many positive things to offer the students. However, it also has
dangerous people and places. The students need to know where this danger is and how
to avoid it. Then they need to know how to deal with the danger should they find
themselves in it.
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Negatives—Higher
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 5
As the students identify potentially dangerous places share any known stories of bad things that have happened in these places. Use this example to point out the reality of this danger.
Talk with the students about how dangerous people can be anywhere and they should always be vigilant to assure that they do not end up isolated with a stranger.
After the students have created their directory, ask them to affirm that they will not venture into these areas and will take precautions to avoid these areas.
• Talk with the students about all of the positive aspects of this
community.
• Talk with the students about how people and places can be
dangerous and it is up to them to know where these places
are and avoid them.
• Talk with the students about the need for personal responsibility in staying out of
dangerous places and the need for knowing how to get out of dangerous situations.
• Why are some people dangerous?
• What kinds of places are dangerous?
• What should you do if you find yourself in a dangerous
situation that involves other people?
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Negatives—Higher
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 6
Skills Lesson Recap
While every community has many positive aspects and resources, every community also has negative aspects and dangerous places. Today you learned where the negative aspects of your community are and how to avoid these areas. You also learned why these are dangerous areas and the possible consequences for going into these areas.
• You identified areas within your own community that you should avoid. You then explainedwhat it means when places are dangerous because of people.
• You explained what it means when places are dangerous because of what is there. Youdescribed how places could be dangerous due to the presence of river and lakes, train tracks,heavy traffic, caverns or large holes, and isolated places.
• You explained how places could be dangerous because of their reputations. For instance youdescribed how places could have a bad reputation due to the presence of bars, drug activity,and areas containing adult bookstores.
• With assistance from your instructor you created a list of places to avoid within yourcommunity and also discussed what you should do in the event you find yourself in adangerous area.
Failing to identify and avoid the dangerous places within your community will leave you vulnerable to the negative effects of such places.
Knowing how to identify the dangerous areas within your community is the first step to avoiding the harmful elements of these areas.
Copyright 2018
social skillsstudentexercisesheets
Student: ________________________________ Facilitator: ______________________________ Date: ________________
Understanding Your Community - The Negatives Understanding Your Community - The Negatives Understanding Your Community - The Negatives Understanding Your Community - The Negatives Understanding Your Community - The Negatives
Think of any areas in your community that you think you should avoid because of dangerous people, because ofdangerous situations, or because the area has a bad reputation.
How can you avoid these places?
What are the possible consequences of not avoiding these places?
Exercise page 1 of 1, Understanding Your Community - The Negatives
What do you think it means when areas are dangerous because of people? Give some examples of places thatare dangerous because of people.
What does it mean when an area is dangerous because of reputation? How can an area have a bad reputation?Give examples.
What do you think it means when areas are dangerous because of what is there? How could a place be dangerous? Give examples.
Think about and remember the following action steps you can take if you ever find yourself in a dangerous situation.
Call 911Yell for Help
Get OutAvoid
www.selforschools.com
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Positives—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 1
the goal
the objective
e x e r c i s e
Understanding Your Community: The Positives
Every community in every city in this incredible country has something to offer kids, adults, and families. This community is no different. The students need to learn the positive aspects of their community so that they are fully aware of their socialization options.
This exercise will help the students identify the things they like to do and the community options they have for social events.
1 Start this exercise by spending some time with the students talking about the things you like to
do.
2 Share with the students a recreational activity you have recently participated in that you really
enjoy. Use an example the students will understand such as going to the movies, golfing, rollerblading or dancing. Make sure the activity is one that can be done in or around your community.
3 While sharing this experience, tell the students who you were with and why this was an enjoyable
activity for you.
4 After sharing your experience, ask the students if they have done anything fun lately. What was
it? With whom did they do it? Was it done in the community?
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Positives—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 2
5 Ask the students to think of their five favorite things they like to do alone. What are they and
where are they done.
6 Next ask the students to think of the five favorite things they like to do with family. What are
they and where are they done.
7 Next ask the students to think of the five favorite things they like to do with friends. What are
they and where are they done?
8 After the students have completed all three lists, review the lists with the students. Circle all of
the things and places that occur within their community.
9 Make a separate list of all the activities the students enjoy that occur within their community.
10 Point out to the students that their community has quite a bit to offer.
11 Ask the students to describe the places on the list they like to go, how they get there, and what
they do once they are there.
12 Explain to the students that there are many positive aspects about this community. There are
places to go, things to do, and different choices to make depending on whom they are with.
13 Tell the students that a person who is active socially needs a directory of the available social
outlets in their community. Also explain that an active social person needs to know their choices depending on whom they are with.
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Positives—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 3
14 Tell the students that they need to create a personal directory of the places they like to go, the
choices they have for social, family and dating options, and any constraints, such as price, that make any of the choices prohibitive.
15 Tell the students to begin this process by dividing the directory into four headings. The first
heading is Personal, the second heading is Friends, the third heading is Dates, and the fourth heading is Family.
16 Tell the students to list their favorite places to do the following things under each of the
headings:
• Favorite places to eat• Favorite places to hang out and kill time• Favorite places to go for entertainment• Favorite quiet places• Favorite noisy places• Favorite free places
17 After the students have completed the lists for each of the headings tell the students to
number each place based on least expensive to most expensive beginning at 1.
18 Explain to the students that you have several favorite restaurants but there are some you can’t
eat at very often because of the price.
19 After the students have ordered their lists based upon price tell them the next thing to do is to
get phone numbers and times of operations for each of these places. Tell the students to complete this process later.
20 Finally, point out to the students that they have created a personal directory of things they like
and want to do with several different social groups under different expectations and different prices.
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Positives—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 4
21 Now explain to the students that there are likely community resources they do not even know
about and are not accessing. Tell the students about community resources such as the library, public parks, sports facilities, etc.
22 Talk with the students about some of the fun things they can do at places like the library. Talk
about how libraries have magazines, movies, and exhibits, as well as books to read also audio books.
23 Affirm for the students that they live in a great community that has a lot to offer. All they have
to do is find out what is out there and take part.
summary
Every community has activities and resources to offer teenagers. The students need to
know what these resources are, how to access these resources, and then how to enjoy
the many community amenities. They need to create and use a personal directory of
community resources so that they have a reminder of everything good the community
has to offer.
Social—Understanding Your Community: The Positives—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 5
While the students identify the things they like to do for fun, ask them to give reasons why these are fun activities. Ask them to elaborate on how often they get to do this, whom they do it with, and where they go to do it.
As the students make their personal directory, explain that this directory will help them decide on social activities, figuring out things to do, and good places to go with other people.
Have the students affirm that there are several fun things to do in this commu-nity and then use this affirmation to point out that their social enjoyment will be more dependent on their willingness to take advantage of these fun things than the community itself.
• Talk with the students about the things they really like to do and
how these things are available here in their community.
• Talk with the students about the things they can do for free that
are offered by the community as resources.
• Talk with the students about how a personal directory can help them have a more active
social life by reminding them of their options.
prob
ing
and hints
points
questions • What do you like to do for fun? Why? Where do you go to do
this?
• Where do you like to go to relax? How about to have fun?
• Why is it important to keep a personal directory for social ac-tivities?
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Social—Understanding Your Community: The Positives—Higher MI
K. Jay Burcham www.selforschools.com © 2018
Page 6
Skills Lesson Recap
Every community in every city in this incredible country has something to offer kids, adults, and families. This community is no different. Today you learned the positive aspects of your community so that you are fully aware of your socialization options.
ex
erc
ise
key points • You described a number of fun things you have done lately and answered the following questions
pertaining to them: what it was, who did you do it with, and was it done in the community.
• Next you described five things you like to do alone, five things you like to do with your family, andfive things you like to do with friends. You then identified the activities that take place within the community.
• You created a personal directory of the places you enjoy going within your community.
• You then added to your personal directory of things to do, a price rating for each of the en-tries, their phone numbers, and times of operation.
consequence of not using t
his s
kill
By ignoring the positive aspects of your community you will miss out on taking advantage of the many educational as well as entertaining opportunities around you.
By creating a personal directory of the places you like to visit and things you like to do within your community you will learn to truly appreciate all the wonderful resources that your
community has to offer.
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WHERE’S THE GRIT?By Jay Burcham
Grit is the word and the concept of the day. We need to be teaching grit. We need students to understand and convey grit. We need grit. But what truly is grit and how do we really teach it?
Grit, by definition, is the strength of character. Character, by definition, is the “moral and mental qualities distinctive to an individual”. So someone with grit has strong morals and mental distinction. So how do you teach that?
This is where grit gets a little tricky. Sometimes grit even gets conflated with resiliency which actually has a very different meaning. Resiliency after all is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. It is a toughness that creates the opportunity to form strong character. Resiliency can lead to grit but it isn’t the same thing; but it is a great place to start.
Let’s set definitions aside a minute and talk about real life. What we want from our students is for them to develop the ability to cope with problems. We want them to be able to identify and deal with life’s issues and be able to persevere when they struggle and learn from the struggles and come out of the struggles smarter than when they went in.
Think about it, homework is a microcosm of this. Homework is a designed struggle that is purposeful in creating difficulties that the student must overcome in order to learn from in order to create knowledge. There is great truth to the axiom that knowledge must be applied to be learned. Just reading seldom does the trick.
So if we have to struggle to learn even the basics of academics how do we teach grit in life? How do we create struggle so that the students can learn? How do we create situations that call for resiliency and then push for them to apply that resiliency so that they push themselves emotionally and grow from the experience and become more socially and emotionally experienced? In other words, how do we create life homework?
One of the guiding tenets of Leaps and one of the firm conclusions that was determined early on in its research was that social and emotional learning has to be experienced and has to be applied to be assimilated and eventually learned. It just isn’t possible to truly teach social and emotional skills, and the outcome of those skills – grit and resiliency – in passivity.
A Crisis Response Resource from
100 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
However, real life skills being taught on a needs basis and then practiced in “in vivo” and with role play and in interactive settings creates the opportunity for simulated life struggles. Keeping the lesson tied to an assessed deficit makes sure the skill that is practiced is within an area of need which helps assure the lesson and struggle is not only necessary but is personally relevant. Overcoming the struggle is guided and purposeful and is done through a Leaps led problem solving method which creates an expansion of the student’s social knowledge base and emotional intelligence and application construct.
The correct overcoming of the struggle is then met with prompted “Right Ways” within the exercise which reinforce the good outcomes of the struggle and make the good decisions that much more purposeful. In other words, the student just learned how to solve a problem and feel better about himself and his grit just grew. Knowing the right problem to solve and having the guiding method to do so creates the opportunity to simulate a situation that teaches grit.
I have been asked about using tools such as videos and worksheets for teaching social and emotional skills and by extension grit. Expecting students to somehow advance socially and emotionally with passive exercises such as videos is the same as expecting smelly teenagers to smell better because they have completed a hygiene crossword puzzle. Knowing the words is very different than practicing them and using them. Passivity is just that, passive knowledge. If you want students to grow in their knowledge, then they have to practice their knowledge.
Grit is very real. Resiliency is very real. Why? Because life is real. How do we teach grit and resiliency to our students? We expand their social and emotional repertoire by putting them in real life situations that are age and normatively appropriate, determined through norm based assessing, and then challenging them to overcome. Within these challenges we guide them but make sure they are experiencing the struggle and make sure they are experiencing the life event, even if it is simulated. We expand their experiential knowledge base through this guided experience. Then when they overcome these struggles and we praise them and reinforce the outcome of their struggle their confidence in their ability to problem solve grows, as does their technical ability to do so because you are teaching it to them, and the bi-product is that they are becoming stronger and more determined. They are grittier and tougher.
How do we teach grit? Life is the best teacher. Let’s just make sure we are using the life path (and tools like LEAPS) that will guide them to confidence in self and understating in
decisions. Grit will follow.
For information about the LEAPS program, go to SELforSchools.com
Expecting students to somehow advance socially and emotionally with passive
exercises such as videos is the same as expecting smelly teenagers to smell
better because they have completed a hygiene crossword puzzle.
A Crisis Response Resource from
101 | TALKING WITH KIDS DEALING WITH CRISIS
