TAMING TAMING TANTRUMSTANTRUMS

Dawnita NillesDawnita NillesExtension Agent/Family Resource CoordinatorExtension Agent/Family Resource Coordinator

NDSU Extension ServiceNDSU Extension ServiceServing families in the counties of Grand Forks, Nelson, Pembina Serving families in the counties of Grand Forks, Nelson, Pembina

& Walsh& Walsh

They enable kids to do some healthy things.

What’s bad about tantrums?They usually occur at the worst time for parents.

What’s good about tantrums?

Why do tantrums Why do tantrums happen?happen?

normal behavior of children normal behavior of children ages 18 months to 5 yearsages 18 months to 5 years

can be caused by new or can be caused by new or unusual stress in a child’s unusual stress in a child’s life or a developmental life or a developmental stagestage

Awareness is key to Awareness is key to understanding!understanding!

Does this child tantrum because she is Does this child tantrum because she is frustrated by a task?frustrated by a task?

Does this child see others tantrum and Does this child see others tantrum and imitate their behavior?imitate their behavior?

Does this child tantrum more frequently Does this child tantrum more frequently when she is tired, sick or hungry?when she is tired, sick or hungry?

Does this child tantrum when you set a Does this child tantrum when you set a limit?limit?

Ask yourself….Ask yourself….

Does this child tantrum when Does this child tantrum when she is denied an activity or she is denied an activity or an object she wants?an object she wants?

Is this child destructive or Is this child destructive or hurtful during a tantrum?hurtful during a tantrum?

Does this child seem locked Does this child seem locked into the tantrum or unable to into the tantrum or unable to stop?stop?

Taming the TantrumsTaming the Tantrums DistractDistract RemoveRemove IgnoreIgnore HoldHold Remain Remain

calm!calm!

Tantrums as a Teaching Tantrums as a Teaching ToolTool Assure safety firstAssure safety first

At the “moment”At the “moment”– Acknowledge feelingsAcknowledge feelings– Clarify limitsClarify limits– Offer optionsOffer options

Between timesBetween times– Reduce stressReduce stress– Teach skillsTeach skills– Respond to cooperationRespond to cooperation

Preventing TantrumsPreventing Tantrums Have regular Have regular

routinesroutines Look for patternsLook for patterns Use warningsUse warnings Give choicesGive choices Catch ‘em being Catch ‘em being

good!good! Choose your Choose your

battlesbattles Put it into wordsPut it into words

“We can learn many things from

children,” someone once said. “For instance, how

much patience we have.”

Take a closer look at these Take a closer look at these books:books:

The Bernstain Bears Get The Bernstain Bears Get the Screamies (S. the Screamies (S. Bernstain)Bernstain)

Tiger and the Temper Tiger and the Temper Tantrum (V. French)Tantrum (V. French)

The Chocolate-Covered-The Chocolate-Covered-Cookie Tantrum (D. Cookie Tantrum (D. Blumenthal)Blumenthal)