Teacher-Parent Request

Requests on Parent-Teacher Night

Revisiting Paren-Teacher Night

• Take your observation reports

– Would you interpret the situation differently now?

– Would you act differently in the same situation now?

– Now that you know about Positive Action Language, what would you do next in that situation?

Revisiting Parent-Teacher Night

• Get back together in the same threesomes

• Think about your situations

– Something unclear? Ask each other for help

• Go through the following again:

– Observation

– Feelings

– Needs

Revisiting Parent-Teacher Night

• Time to REQUEST TO ENRICH

– Write 2 different REQUESTS from teacher’s POV toward parent

• Requests must enrich the situation and help meet teacher’s needs

– Help each other writing these REQUESTS

Revisiting Parent-Teacher Night

• Let’s play!

– Play out your role plays again

– Teacher in the situation will make requests of the parent

– Parent gets to genuinely react to the request (it’snot because a request is NVC-based, that youmust always comply)

– Observers observe!

A No is NOT the End

• Accepting NO for an answer:

– A NO to a request means that the request doesn’thelp meet the other party’s unmet needs

– Respect this NO and try to find out the unmetneeds

– Form a plan/strategy that will meet all/many of the needs in the situation

A No is NOT the End

You want your partner to do the dishes tonight.

“I have a need for relaxation, would you pleasedo the dishes tonight?”

Answer: “No.”

A No is NOT the End

You might have a need for relaxation, but you didn’t take in account what your partner’s needs are.

“Why not?”

Answer: “You never do the dishes and I’ve had enough of it. I want you to do the dishes sometimes, too.”

A No is NOT the End

Ahaa! Your partner might have a need for equality and apparently you are quite lazy when it comes to doing the dishes!

So, what now?

How about this multi-step approach:

A No is NOT the End

• “What if we did the dishes together tonight,

• And we set up a schedule of who does the dishes when afterwards.

• Maybe there can be a limited amount of wildcards, for when you really don’t feel like it.

• And after that, we’ll relax together?”

Exercise

• Every threesome chooses 1 situation in which

– A no was the response to the request

– A no could also have been a reasonable response to the request

Exercise

• Think about the possible needs of the parent

– Use the lists of feelings and needs

– Which feelings are playing a big role?

– Link to several possible underlying needs

– Think up an NVC strategy to meet teacher’s and parent’s needs in this situation