TECHNICAL WRITING

December 10, 2014

Today

Improving writing clarity & style:

- Avoiding nominalization

Pronoun reference exercises

1. Your company plans to compensate Wellington management with a 1 percent bonus on gross profit margin. This will motivate managers to focus on manufacturing high-quality products.

- Your company plans to compensate Wellington management with a 1 percent bonus on gross profit margin. This compensation plan will motivate managers to focus on manufacturing high-quality products.

2. The payback period is 3.59 years and the ROI is 27.38 percent. These signal a profitable investment.

- The payback period is 3.59 years and the ROI is 27.38 percent. These two indicators signal a profitable investment.

3. Many Internet companies participate in innovative types of advertising arrangements. These include working with agencies that offer minimum commission guarantees on click-through advertising.

- Many Internet companies participate in various types of advertising arrangements. These arrangements include working with agencies that offer minimum commission guarantees on click-through advertising.

4. Our economy is becoming more specialized and complex. Auditors have to adjust to this.

- Our economy is becoming more specialized and complex. Auditors have to adjust to this major trend in the industry.

5. According to a recent report, women which are childless by the age of 30 have a 25 percent chance of having at least one child by the time they are 35.

- According to a recent report, women who are childless by the age of 30 have a 25 percent chance of having at least one child by the time they are 35.

6. Cash-basis accounting records transactions when cash has traded hands. Many small companies use this because it gives the proprietors some flexibility in managing their taxable income.

Cash-basis accounting records transactions when cash has traded hands. Many small companies use this method because it gives the proprietors some flexibility in managing their taxable income.

7. Maintaining a centralized Continuing Education Department will not save it any overhead costs.

- If the university maintains a centralized Continuing Education Department, it will not save any overhead costs.

- Maintaining a centralized Continuing Education Department will not save the university any overhead costs.

8. If it reduces the dean’s salary and advertising expenses, then it will also save $32,000 in administrative expenses.

- If the university reduces the dean’s salary and advertising expenses, then it will also save $32,000 in administrative expenses.

9. You should give an extra 2 percent commission to the PDT specialists who exceed the minimum number of required consulting hours. This may help increase their consulting hours because it may motivate them to seek more commission.

- You should give an extra 2 percent commission to the PDT specialists who exceed the minimum number of required consulting hours. This additional compensation may help increase PDT specialists’ consulting hours because it may motivate them to seek more commission.

10. The growing demand for strong corporate governance urges companies to focus on better internal controls. This also forces companies to develop a more transparent and improved disclosure system.

- The growing demand for strong corporate governance urges companies to focus on better internal controls. This imperative also forces companies to develop a more transparent and improved disclosure system.

Nominalization

Noun forms of verbs.

i.e.,

illustrate illustration

fail failure

react reaction

Nominalization

Turning a verb into a noun.

- We implemented the plan successfully

- The implementation of the plan was successful.

Try to avoid this as much as possible.

Nominalization

The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.

The hope of the student is to earn good grades.

There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.

A ski trip should be planned.

Nominalization

Problems created by nominalization:

- Passive voice

- Unnecessary words

- loss of agent

- use of “be” verbs as main verb

- loss of clarity.

Nominalization

Nominalization can make writing very confusing:

An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).

An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).

People are using less ink because they are using more pencils. (12 words),

Nominalization

Nominalization can make writing very confusing:

The analysis process that was the requirement of the experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’ lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)

The analysis process that was the requirement of the experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’ lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)

The way the researchers analyzed the data indicates they do not know how to synthesize data. (16 words)

Nominalization

Noun forms of verbs.

Problems with nominalization:

- Make sentences less concise (wordy).

- Increase noun-to-verb ratio.

- Make sentences more difficult to understand.

- Can make reading tedious.

Revising Nominalization

Look for:

1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate investigation)

2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a main verb.

3. The use of passive voice.

4. A missing agent.

Revising Nominalization

1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate investigation)

- Locate verbs functioning as nouns and change them to action words.

i.e.,

The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.

The detective investigated the crime.

Revising Nominalization

2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a main verb.

Replace simple “to be” verbs with more “action-oriented” verbs.

i.e.,

The hope of the student is to earn good grades.

The student hopes to earn good grades.

Revising Nominalization

3. The use of passive voice.

- Switch to active voice.

i.e.,

There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.

Heavy rains flooded the building.

Revising Nominalization

4. A missing agent.

Provide an agent by indicating who or what is doing the action in the sentence.

i.e.,

A ski trip should be planned.

Jim should plan our ski trip.

Further examples

His work gives us an analysis of the issue and offers a solution.

- His work analyzes and solves the issue.

It was our expectation that we would be compensated for our work.

- We expected to be compensated for our work.

Further examples

The political situation caused a drop in the morale of youth.

- The political situation demoralized the youth.

Revising Nominalization

1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of our debate.

2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision.

3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.

4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.

Revising Nominalization

5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.

6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in Morgan Hill.

7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.

8. It was expected that our collection of data would be quick.

Revising Nominalization

9. The coroner did an examination of the body.

10. A demand must exist for clean energy.

Review - NominalizationNoun forms of verbs.

i.e.,

The commencement of the ceremony will be at noon.

With an action verb:

The ceremony will commence at noon.

The ceremony commences at noon.

Revising Nominalization 1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of our debate. We debated the budget cuts for the Writing Center.

2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision. The jury intends to reach a decision.

3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.

The city government must reinforce this law. This law needs to be reinforced.

4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.

We studied how lung cancer progresses

Revising Nominalization

5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.

The storm delayed the flight.

6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in Morgan Hill

The 2007 fires in Morgan Hill scorched vegetation.

7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.

We presented a new regulation.

8. It was expected that our collection of data would be quick.

We expected to collect data quickly.

Revising Nominalization

9. The coroner did an examination of the body.

The coroner examined the body.

10. A demand must exist for clean energy.

We must demand clean energy.

When are nominalizations acceptable?

1. Names/titles

e.g. The consultant helped our organization streamline its processes.

The consultant helped with the streamlining of our organization’s processes.

When are nominalizations acceptable?

2. When your goal is to downplay something controversial

e.g.

This morning, we will execute the prisoner.

The prisoner’s execution is this morning.

When are nominalizations acceptable?

3. To provide emphasis at the end of a passage.

e.g.

The citizens revolted against being taxed.

The citizens revolted against taxation.

Fertilizer helps plants grow faster

Fertilizer accelerates growth.