The Art of Questioning and Exploring · alone negotiate, if you do not understand the other party’s needs, motivations and what is going on ‘inside their head’. Negotiation

© The Gap Partnership, 2017. All rights reserved.1

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thegappartnership.com

NEGOTIATION REVIEW

The Art of Questioning and ExploringBy Katherine Edgecombe

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” Naguib Mahfouz


“Senior Whitehall official admits biggest regret of his career to date” The Times, London, March 2007.

In March 2007, a senior official confessed that his biggest regret was not challenging the assumptions being made about the existence of weapons of mass destruction prior to the invasion of Iraq. He admitted that more questions could have prompted more answers, which may have altered the course of history.

Negotiation is a complex process. It requires a deep understanding of the wide variety of strategies and behaviours that can be employed. The skilled negotiator, however, will also need to combine such understanding with astute interpersonal skills.

Many believe that negotiating is about persuasion, and that compelling argument and rationalisation will result in compliance and agreement. Faced with their own issues, pressures and objectives, the unskilled negotiator will blindly seek to create arguments to support their own aims.

Even putting aside this misinterpretation of ‘negotiation’, what is so often forgotten is that it is at best difficult to persuade, let alone negotiate, if you do not understand the other party’s needs, motivations and what is going on ‘inside their head’.

Negotiation cannot be conducted within the confines of the negotiator’s own head. An in-depth understanding of the objectives, needs, priorities and motivations of the other party must be sought. Getting inside the other party’s mind is therefore crucial to a negotiator. How else can terms and conditions be explored that will be met with serious consideration?

Skilled questioning (combined with exceptional listening skills) can be the key to this unlocking of the mind of the other party. The key to ‘getting inside their head’.

Irrespective of whether you want to work competitively or collaboratively, it is vital that you understand your counterpart’s priorities. Only then can you start to assess breakpoints, and start to construct proposals that are valued in their terms, and not just in yours.

Barristers, politicians and interviewers all understand the power of effective questioning and listening, and devote much of their preparation time to planning their techniques and approaches.

Effective questioning and listening are important skills that require planning, practice and patience. All too often, the arrogant negotiator is keen to get on and make the deal.

Their ego prevents them from asking vital questions and they make dangerous assumptions which often sub-optimise the deal. “Everyone knows how to ask questions, don’t they?”

This is a dangerous assumption – not one a skilled negotiator would make.

© The Gap Partnership, 2017. All rights reserved. 3

John is a successful retail buyer. He works for a large blue-chip company and started on their graduate programme 7 years ago along with 20 other graduates. John has been promoted more quickly than any of them, and is now in a senior managerial position.

This was a surprise to his peers who never thought that he “had what it took” to really make a go of it as a buyer. He was always a reserved character and didn’t seem to stand out.

He never pushed himself forward and didn’t appear to be tough or ruthless.

The secret of John’s success? John understood, better than anyone, that negotiation takes place inside the other party’s head and not inside his own. He was continually conscious of this and during his early career had developed a measured persona which enabled him to question and listen. This enabled him to build up his knowledge, which he then subsequently used to his advantage in all his commercial dealings. Not only did this make him successful in his negotiations, this also made him excellent management material, as he was able to fully understand what motivated his team and so develop a highly productive buying department.

John recognised that talking about himself wasn’t the answer to becoming the best. Neither was it the ability to intimidate the other party. He simply set himself the task of understanding other people’s pressures, motivations and drivers and continually used this to his advantage.

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked ‘why?’ ” Bernard M Baruch


Asking the right question – what can it achieve? Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked ‘why?’ Bernard M Baruch.

Following a broad range of interviews with consultants from The Gap Partnership, we have detailed some of the responses when asked to describe the purpose and benefits of effective questioning in negotiation.

Information gathering

This is the most obvious reason for asking questions. Information is power and, until you are sure that you have all the answers, you need to keep asking questions. Assumptions can be very dangerous in negotiation

Different people have different priorities at different times and these will change depending on their current circumstances. It is vital that you gain enough information to fully understand their priorities at that moment in time.

Only then can you start to put relevant proposals together that will give the other party the satisfaction they require.

Challenging assumptions

Be sure you are sure that you are hearing what they are saying? Even if you think you have a good grasp of all the information, it is vital to clarify and check understanding. Assume nothing, as this could put you at a disadvantage later in the negotiations.

Closed questions can be an effective way of clarifying or testing assumptions. An example would be…“so my understanding is that you will be increasing your volume order from 1,000 pieces to 1,400 pieces. Is that correct?”

Gaining rapport and participation

Asking questions is a great way of building rapport and helping to establish a climate of trust. Whilst the purpose of questioning may be different during competitive negotiations, the exercise of questioning and exploration remains critical.

It enables you to understand the landscape, whilst building a relationship, and, if skilfully executed, can ensure that you learn more about them than they will about you.

Not that providing information about your needs is a bad thing. Where a sufficient level of trust exists, we need to provide an understanding of our own priorities. Without this, how can we expect the other party to table proposals which we find acceptable?

Of course, at all times, questioning should be subtle and not interrogative, so information will be freely forthcoming. Invoking the ‘law of reciprocation’ should help the process, remembering that part of the skill is in sharing enough to put them at ease, without giving away anything that could be used against you later.

Sometimes, questions can be used simply to make the other party feel important, which can be useful positioning prior to a negotiation. This may even mean asking a question to which you already know the answer.


Determining behavioural style

From the conversations that you have and the questions that you ask, you can deduce much about the type of personality and attitudes in play that you will be negotiating with. This is vital for planning your strategic approach. So what sort of person are you dealing with? Are they defensive? Are they passionate? Are they fair? Are they decisive? Are they suspicious? Are they ambitious? Are they honest? Questions that provide this information can give you a distinct advantage in the negotiation.

Avoiding time-wasting discussions

Far too much time can be taken up in meetings talking at length about subjects which yield little useful information. The effective questioner must recognise this and have the ability to ask questions which will refocus conversation on the real reasons for the meeting. Starting a meeting with personal niceties may be an appropriate way to set the climate, but after that, the skilled negotiator won’t be afraid to ask the questions necessary to get the job done.

Allowing them to suggest ideas

People like to have their ideas heard and built on. Wherever possible, use questioning to give the perception that they have come up with the idea. This is far more powerful than imposing your ideas on them.

Case study

Katie was in Sales. Her gregarious manner and confident persona had got her the job in the first place.

She was passionate about her products and she loved to talk.

Even though she recognised that her customers would sit back and listen while she potentially gave them more power, she didn’t see what else she could do when they asked her a question.

She sought some advice from Frank, a more experienced member of the team. He talked to her about control coming from silence and asking for information, not through talking. He gave her a technique that involves limiting her response to a question and in so doing, re-establishing control and re-gaining the initiative.

She felt uncomfortable doing it, but next time she was asked a question, she committed to consciously alter her natural response.

Customer – “So, Katie, what’s been happening since we last met?” Katie – “Well business has been pretty busy, but I hear that things have changed around here. I’ve heard that you’ve got a new MD. What impact has that had on business?”

Unless she had consciously decided to alter her behaviour, Katie would have gone into her natural style and given a full and frank response to the first question, which would have essentially got her nowhere.

By restricting her response, countering by asking a question of her own, and re-establishing control, she gained information, power and ultimately the confidence to ask more.

Skilled negotiators never “wing it”


Most people assume that they are good at questioning.

How good are you?

Think about the last important meeting or negotiation you were involved in and consider:

Did you decide what information you needed to know in advance? Did you consider what types of questions you could ask to elicit this information? Did you decide which sequence you could pose these questions? Did you consider your audience and therefore adapt your approach accordingly? Did you consider the climate you were trying to achieve in the meeting? Did you consider what they would be asking you and how you would answer? Did you practise any of your questions in advance? Did you really LISTEN to what they were saying once you’d asked your question?

If the answers to all these are “YES”, then great. If not, consider how you can introduce this into your planning time. Questioning is another area where people think that they will just see how things go in the meeting and “wing it”.

Skilled negotiators never “wing it”.

Tips for Effective Questioning

1. Have a plan. Barristers are masters of sequential questioning. This doesn’t happen by accident and much of their planning prior to a case will involve thought about the type of questions they will ask and the sequence that these will be delivered. So think and plan like a barrister! As in any other area of negotiation, having a plan is vital. Preparation is 90% of negotiation, and this goes for any preliminary meetings too. Firstly, you need to be clear of the aim of your meeting or negotiation. Once this is clear, you can produce a series of questions that are

tailored to release information that will help achieve your goal. In planning your series of questions, you need to decide on the information that you require together with the style with which you plan to get it. For example, the direct approach may or may not be appropriate. If not, a more subtle approach must be employed.

2. Move from wide angle to sharp focus. When planning your sequence of questions, it may be appropriate to start with a broad question. As they start to provide answers, you can then refine your questions to enable you to get to specific information.

Of course, it may be appropriate to turn the questioning funnel the other way up. If the discussion is too closed, it may be appropriate to ask broader questions to open the discussion.

Moving up and down the funnel process is sometimes referred to as “chunking up” or “chunking down”.

3. Avoid interrogation if collaborative. If the other party starts to feel uneasy or under attack they will be reluctant to share information and may put up barriers between you. They may even become reluctant to do business with you in the future.

When trying to work collaboratively, having a business partner who is on edge or cagey can be unproductive. Sometimes, it may be appropriate to tell them you are going to ask them a difficult question. This can be effective as it is unlikely that they will refuse, and it is more likely that you will receive a response given they will not be surprised by the directness of your question.

However, at all times remember the climate that you are trying to achieve. If you have no existing relationship and are prepared to negotiate competitively (win/lose negotiation), a firm style may be highly appropriate and to slightly intimidate the other party could also be advantageous.


The Questioning Funnel

Topic

Subject

Definitive

TOPIC

SUBJECT

DEFINITIVE

How was yourbusiness last year?

Open

What happened to profit last year?

Probing

Did you grow profit last year?

Closed

4. Know who you are dealing with. Just because you are the sort of person who likes to get straight down to business, it doesn’t mean that the person you are dealing with does too. If they are the sort of person who likes to build the relationship and have some “soft” talk to warm up the atmosphere, you will gain far more from them later if you respect that and adapt to their style.

This may be particularly appropriate for a collaborative relationship. In a potentially competitive environment, there may be no need for niceties, even if it makes the other party feel uncomfortable.

5. Take notes. Taking notes is always important. You don’t want to have to rely on the other party to remind you of what took place. It is also a method of ensuring that you have control of yourself, and potentially the other party later.

However, whilst it is important to take notes when you are asking questions, you must be aware that you want the other

party to feel listened to. If you fail to make the correct responses or make eye contact at appropriate moments, the flow of communication may be stilted. Where possible, listen and then make notes.

6. Wait for the answer. An easy trap to fall into is to try and ease the discomfort that you feel about asking questions by actually answering it yourself; particularly if the other person is slow in responding.

Lucy: “How important is delivery time to you?”

Jake: (silence)

Lucy: “…probably quite important I expect? That’s good to know, because delivery time is something that we could consider moving on. We may be able to deliver sooner. I can find out for you”. The impact and power of the open question is totally eroded if you don’t feel comfortable with the silence that may ensue whilst the other party decides how best to answer. Skilled negotiators don’t feel the need to fill every silence. Indeed they recognise the power of silence and will use it to their advantage.

“Wisdom is the reward for a lifetime of listening… when you’d have preferred to talk” D. J. Kaufman


7. Listen to the answers. Perfecting your questioning ability is only of value if you can claim to be an effective listener. Skilled negotiators are always excellent listeners - there are no exceptions.

Listening is a natural and instinctive activity – your brain just does what it does. However, when negotiating, you need to be in conscious control of the listening process. Research has shown that poor listeners will tend to concentrate on what they have to say next, rather than really listening to what is being said. They will pick up their own understanding of the meaning and make their own assumptions.

Effective listeners are inclined to:

• Determine what is being said

• Determine what is not being said

• Watch their eyes

• Listen for the real message being given

• Listen for the meaning behind the words

• Watch for inconsistencies in body language

• Consider why they said what they said when they did

Less effective listeners tend to:

• Work out your own position while they are talking

• Can’t wait for them to stop talking before butting in

• Have wandering eyes and inconsistent body language

• Switch off early

• Turn everything they say to your point of view

• Try to anticipate what they are going to say

• Finish off their sentences for them

• Lose interest - unless it’s about the listener

• Rarely ask questions

• Rarely try to elicit further information from them.

STROBE questioning

Developing open-ended questions to understand the other party using STROBE enables negotiators to systematically extract more information than would otherwise be forthcoming.

• Scope (Testing parameters, assumptions and level of empowerment)

• Terms (Examining their minimum requirement and how they are motivated)

• Risks (Identifying opportunities to spread risk)

• Options (Defining their alternatives)

• Barriers (Predicting objections or sensitive areas which will attract resistance)

• Empowerment (Determining responsibility and defining action).


For each of the following areas, create 5 open-ended questions which will help open up or expand your understanding:

1. List any potential SCOPE, which may exist for broadening or narrowing your relationship. This could include considering the longevity of the relationship, dependency, risk or other factors, which create greater scope for maximising value.

2. List the adjustment to TERMS you think they may need in order to agree. This could include their basic requirements, issues or related to how the individual will be measured.

3. List any issues they may regard as a RISK. This could include new agreements, extended or retrospective agreements.

4. List any/all of the OPTIONS you believe they may have in the event that your negotiations run into difficulties. In the event of deadlock what would they do?

5. List the potential BARRIERS which are likely to be presented.

6. List who will need to be included and the influence and authority to make decisions and take action.

The STROBE technique is used by converting your questions into order of importance, listing your top 10 and using them during the exploratory phase of your discussion.

The skilled negotiator will have the confidence to be flexible and will use a combination of questioning styles to enable them to extract the most useful information. See the variety of questioning types and examples:

Contact questions help establish rapport: How have you been since we last met? Did you have a good holiday?

Probing questions help to seek further information: What do you think about your competitor’s latest activities?

Interrogative questions help to encourage them to think about solutions for themselves: Why is that important to you?

Comparative questions help to explore in detail: What has business been like since the introduction of product A? How have things changed since your new promotion began?

Extension questions to challenge: How do you mean? How else could we do that? What are you thinking of specifically? What do you mean when you say…? How can you be sure of that?

Opinion seeking questions: How do you feel about…? What do you think about…? What are your views on…?

Hypothetical questions which help to test their knowledge and thinking: What if we were to order 500 units? What if we included all the costs? What if I paid you in advance?

Reflective/summary questions to draw ideas together and test their understanding: So, you think that we need to introduce this new range? You think that the product will achieve X? As I understand it, you reckon that you can deliver it?


Closing questions help to secure agreement: When should we start – during May or at the beginning of June? I can deliver on the first or second week of that month; which would suit you best? How much?

Mirror Questions serve to reverse the question and confirm the point: We think we can deliver this for you. You think you can deliver this?

Leading questions help to secure a desired answer. You can’t deny that…? Isn’t it a fact that…? You wouldn’t say that…? It’s a great offer, isn’t it?

Rhetorical questions help to prevent them from saying anything: Do we really want to do that? And how did that happen?

Multiple questions which help to gain agreement to a package: You did say that you could meet the deadline? Oh, and you will meet our specification and, ah, by the way, you can do this for us can’t you?

Closed questions which help to establish specific facts/information: Will you do this? Have you the ability to deliver? Can you meet our requirements? Do you need help with this offer?


[email protected]

thegappartnership.com

NEGOTIATION REVIEW

The Art of Questioning and ExploringBy Katherine Edgecombe

Documents

The Art of Questioning and Exploring · alone negotiate, if you do not understand the other party’s needs, motivations and what is going on ‘inside their head’. Negotiation