THE BARONESS OF SINA Steamy Historical Regency Romance Novel

AVA MACADAMS

CONTENTS

Α Special Gift For You…Before You Start Reading…

Chapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 7Chapter 8Chapter 9Chapter 10Chapter 11Chapter 12Chapter 13Chapter 14Chapter 15Chapter 16Chapter 17Chapter 18Chapter 19Chapter 20Chapter 21Chapter 22Chapter 23Chapter 24Chapter 25Chapter 26Chapter 27Chapter 28Chapter 29Chapter 30Chapter 31Chapter 32Chapter 33EpilogueExtended Epilogue

Preview: The Marchioness of his DesirePrologueChapter 1Chapter 2

Also by Ava MacAdamsAbout the Author

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I appreciate you!Ava MacAdams

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About the Book

One naughty little meeting can't hurt…

Lady Martha Worter will never forgive her late husband for scarring her soul beyondrepair. Now determined to get her lost life back and experience desire, provoking herhandsome but proper neighbor becomes her favorite pastime.

Living a predesigned life, James Williams, the Earl of Barristen, thought he could controleverything, but for three exceptions: his wife’s death, his seductive neighbor’s games,and the profound enjoyment her mischief brings him.

Tempted to become more than just friends through their illicit agreement, their fear ofcommitment is not the only thing knocking on their door. For an awfully familiar figurewould rather see them both broken than happy together.

“C

Chapter One

an you believe it? What my gentleman is willing to do to please his lady! I am thehappiest I have ever been, marrying the man I love, but the way that he makes me feelwhen he touches me-”

With an unladylike huff, Martha set the letter down in front of her again. She turned toher other sister, Emma, who had been placidly chewing her breakfast as Martha grewmore and more agitated in front of her. Emma and Martha were both beautiful andshared a resemblance as sisters; both had long golden blonde hair and green eyes. WhileMartha was a tad curvier with an hourglass shape, though, Emma had a slightly litherframe, which was only punctuated more by her large round spectacles that rested gentlyon the end of her nose.

“Am I to assume that your letter is much the same, then?”

“Much the same as what?” Emma asked, not seemingly at all put off herself.

“This... Mine was almost improper,” Martha hesitated at the last moment, not wantingher criticism of their sister to come off as too severe.

“I suppose my letter may have been a bit informal, but we are sisters, after all,” Emmanodded, “and your sister is excited to tell you that her marriage is going well. Should wenot be happy?”

“Of course, I am happy,” Martha said more quietly as she considered picking up the letteragain out of desperate curiosity.

“Then why are you so put off?” Emma asked. She had always been one to encourage heryounger sisters to speak their feelings amongst each other. Martha had been bothered bythat just a moment ago but was now thankful.

“I am happy for her. Really, I am.” Martha reassured Emma, “I just never had that sort ofrelationship with... my late husband. I never felt the... excitement that she is expressing.”Martha considered herself for a moment. “I suppose I am a bit envious.”

Emma nodded, “It is a poor situation and an understandable one. But I am sure Harrietonly wishes to express her happiness to you, not weigh you down.”

“I know.” Martha felt the tempest of emotions inside her calm until she saw a single wordwithin the letter. One word and she read enough to glean its context.

“Child”

And just like that she felt her soul grip tightly within her chest once more. She had littlepity for the fate that befell her late husband, but in those dark lonely hours of the night,she wondered, if she had the ability to sire children, might that have not turned him toanother path.

But no, her father and brother had made it clear to her on multiple occasions in recenthistory. “To hold ourselves accountable to the sins of others is the path to ruin.” Herbrother even elaborated on that point one night soon after her husband’s death.

“All good people of faith must lead by example, but to punish oneself for sins that otherscommit is not only poor practice but arguably trying to put ourselves in the position of ourcreator and savior. Hardly a humble place to be,” he said with a bit of a sad laugh.

Those words had made Martha feel much better during her mourning, but, once in a greatwhile, doubt would still creep in.

She put down the letter and examined her black clothes. The dark colors never did hercomplexion justice, and she was quite done with wearing black. The same was to be saidfor the black drapery and the like that decorated her room for the duration of her stay inMayfair. It was customary, even in these unfortunate circumstances, for a widow toobserve a certain period of public mourning for her departed husband. Wasn’t a year ofthinking of that scoundrel enough?

“I am going to host a ball,” Martha said so loudly and so suddenly that the servant whohad come to clean up breakfast let out a surprised squeak at her exclamation.

“A ball?” Emma asked with a mixture of dismay and incredulity. “Why? When?” Shecouldn’t seem to decide which question she thought was more important.

“As soon as possible,” Martha said more calmly while standing up and smoothing herdress, “and namely for making the acquaintance of some gentlemen. If Harriet can meetthe husband of her dreams, then one must surely be out there somewhere for me, filledwith passion and love.”

“A ball…” Emma said thoughtfully and then with a measure of caution as to not comeacross as judgmental, “Is it not improper? So soon after your husband’s death?”

“It has been a year. I believe that is a proper amount of time,” Martha remarked, hertone hinting at the greater contention. She had given her former husband more thanenough of her time, and he needed no more of it.

“It has been a while since we entertained in the manor. I don’t know if we are preparedfor such an event in the near future,” Emma countered without much enthusiasm. Sheknew she wouldn’t win much ground here.

“Then it will be a proper test of me as a hostess and of the house staff,” Martha said witha triumphant tone as if the party had already been hailed as the highlight of the season,“and a fitting sort of end to my mourning. A celebration of sorts!”

“Now that is hardly proper,” Emma remarked dryly, but her sister hadn’t heard her.Martha was too busy giving her new lady maid a list of instructions to prepare for the ball.

Martha’s lady maid Letty was newly hired and often seemed shy and flustered, butMartha never minded and felt the girl was worth the patience. Letty, a young woman whowas small even for her age, might just appear nervous because of her demeanor anddeserved the benefit of the doubt. She had yet to make even a single error, after all.

“We are done discussing this matter, I see. Do try and keep the affair civil,” Emmainstructed with only a small measure of concern in her voice.

Martha knew Emma wanted her to be happy as much as she wanted Harriet to be happy,and if that meant that people might talk, well, they were already talking. Nothing thatMartha could do would make her more of a target for gossip than her former husband’sattempted kidnapping and defilement of Harriet.

“P

Chapter Two

apa, did you hear me?”

The Earl of Barristen, James Williams, looked up from the paperwork he had lost himselfin to see the pouting face of ten-year-old Amanda Williams, his daughter.

“I’m sorry, dear one.” He smiled sheepishly. “I was distracted.”

“You said that you wouldn’t work while we were playing,” Amanda said while stampingher foot.

“Now, Lady Amanda, remember that your father works very hard and has a veryimportant job.” Amanda’s governess, Sarah Blake, spoke up from the corner of the roomwhere she stood. James always found that the governess was more than noteworthy inappearance. Tall with black hair and dark piercing eyes, she made a striking figure, and,admittedly, it gave James second thoughts about hiring her on to take care of hisdaughter. But she had proven to be a more than a capable choice.

“It’s quite all right, Miss Blake,” James reassured the governess. “Fathers should keeptheir promises, after all,” he said, turning to address his daughter.

The little girl acknowledged this lapse in parental decorum with a nod and a hum, then,forgiving and changing the subject as quickly as only children can, asked, “Papa, whathappened to mommy?”

The question struck James like a physical blow. Each time he thought that the next timethe subject of his wife was brought up he would be more prepared, but that was neverthe case. Leave it to a child's social naivety to disarm even the most stoic of gentlemen.

“Do you not recall from the last time I told you?” James asked. He tried to keep his tonelight and playful, not wanting to deter his daughter from asking about her own mother,but his words sounded hollow on his dry lips.

“I remember,” Amanda told him, almost hesitantly. “There are just some things I don’tremember about mommy, since I was so little, and I don’t want to forget what you toldme.” She looked thoughtful before adding, “Like the things I forgot from when I was ababy. I don’t remember any of that.”

The Earl took a deep breath before recounting the tale. It was a carefully crafted versionof events that was honest but told in such a way to spare his daughter the more dire andpainful aspects of that night, perhaps to protect himself a bit as well.

“I was traveling back from Boulogne, and you and your mother had come with me inorder to see the coast. She always loved the sea. We had returned to England and werestaying in an inn called the Salt and Spray, just a small distance from the port. Late thatnight, there was a fire. No one was able to determine how it started, but it started on thesecond floor while I was in the common room reading over some business papers.” TheEarl took another deep shuddering breath before he could continue.

“I ran upstairs to the room to try and get to you and your mother. The fire had spread infront of the door to our room. Your mother handed you to me; you were so small I couldcarry you in one arm. When I took your mother’s hand to pull her from the room, aburning ceiling beam fell on my…” James looked down at the light burn scars that tracedhis right hand and disappeared into his sleeve. “Fell in my way. I didn’t want to leaveyour mother, but we both knew that I had to get you to safety. By the time I got yououtside, the fire had consumed the entire top of the inn. I couldn’t go back in to get her,”James looked at his daughter, “and while that makes me very sad, I was glad that I couldsave you.”

Amanda sniffled as she usually did when she heard the story. “I am sad too, Papa. Nottoo sad though,” she said and brightened up a little.

“Oh?” James asked with genuine curiosity, “and why is that?”

“My friend Posey says that when her Mommy died when she was little, she got a newone. That means we can have a new mommy, right Papa?” Amanda asked her father witha sniffling smile.

Lord Barristen struggled to maintain a weak smile. “I’m afraid it isn’t all as simple asthat,” he told his daughter, not dismissively but honestly.

Unfortunately, no matter how gently bad news is delivered, some children still struggle tounderstand. Big wet tears were streaming down young Amanda's face now as she weptfor the loss of a mother she could only barely remember, not that James could blame her.

As her wails of sadness became louder and more distressed, James swept his adolescentchild up into his arms, cuddling her like he did when she was much younger. James wasable to do this with surprising ease, speaking both to his strength and gentle fatherlyconcern.

“I’m so sorry, dear one. Maybe someday we will be able to find you a nice mother,” hepromised, this time knowingly lying to his daughter. The guilt panged lightly in his chest.James knew that the chance of him wanting to marry again, to risk his heart in that wayagain, was very unlikely. But not impossible, he told himself mostly to assuage his guilt.

No, not impossible.

M

Chapter Three

artha knew the speed at which she was able to arrange the ball must havereally surprised Emma, because it surprised her, and she was the one doing it.Honestly, she had forgotten how much she enjoyed organizing events such as

this. Her husband had become quite efficient at removing the joy from everything in herlife, so she had forgotten the things that she really did like. The reminder was nice.

Martha had gotten hung up a bit on trying to find a theme for the event. She had nothingto celebrate, nothing tactful anyway, and most major public events or holidays hadpassed or had already been planned within the ton. Stepping on toes was the last thingthat Martha wanted right now. Settling on no theme at all felt off at first, but the moreshe thought about it, the more appropriate it seemed. It seemed best to let the ball beabout feeling, about freedom in general, rather than any specific idea.

Still, no theme was hard to plan around, so she decided she wanted to celebrate thereturn of color to her life by using as much as possible for the party. She instructed thedecorators and the staff to use as much color as they could. “Nothing too garish, ofcourse,” she clarified, “but I want it to feel like a springtime rainbow. Really colorful,really cheery.”

Not only did the staff do a superb job of helping her plan and decorate, but they alsowent the extra mile to work the colorful theme into their own attire. Martha wasdelighted, even if she didn’t understand why.

“Many of the staff were unhappy seeing you look so down, My Lady,” Letty informed her.“I know I am new, but it seems to me that many people here have known My Lady for avery long time.”

That had not even occurred to Martha, but she knew it was true. Much of the house staffhad been around for a long time and probably remembered her from when she wasyounger. It warmed her to know so many of them cared.

The invitations were what most worried Emma. While Martha had managed to convinceherself to be unconcerned with what the gossips of the ton would say about the timing ofthis ball, her sister was more than worried enough for the two of them. Martha and Emmahad gone through no less than a dozen drafts before the wording was agreed upon. Onething that made Emma particularly uncomfortable, but Martha insisted stay in the invite,was the encouragement for colorful attire in order to “stay in the theme” for the grandball.

“Ladies and gentlemen will think you aren’t taking their time seriously,” Emma cautionedher sister.

“I am certain they will find it most amusing, whether they participate or not,” Marthaassured her more worried older sister.

“Speaking of ‘they’,” her sister pivoted on the matter of the subject, “who were youplanning on inviting to this impromptu ball of yours?”

“Just the unmarried Lords of London, the married ladies of London, and anyone whowould hear of it that it would be rude not to invite,” Martha commented nonchalantly,even though she knew the larger consequences of what she was saying.

“That... would include almost everyone of status in London,” Emma said with a mixture ofhorror and disbelief.

“Just the ones who can make it on short notice,” Martha added with a knowing smile.They both knew that even people who could get away with not attending wouldn’t daremiss the first ball hosted by the Baroness of Carrington after the passing of her husband.It would be all that anyone was going to talk about for at least a week.

Her late husband, Lord Carrington, had, after all, attempted to seduce his sister-in-law,attempted to kidnap her betrothed, and drowned in his attempt to escape theconsequences of his own actions when they caught up with him. Martha was sure the tonhad yet to run out of things to talk about, and this thought turned her smile bitter on herlips.

She was shaken from her dower mindset by her sister’s own, much less seriouscomplaints.

“Martha, I assumed that when you were done mourning you would take up painting againor maybe buy a pet bird.” Her sister’s exasperation was visible through the cracks in hercomposure. “I didn’t realize that your new pastime would be to cause me distress.”

The indignant cry that Martha let out at Emma’s joke was heard by the staff all wayupstairs as Letty would later tell her lady.

Most of Emma’s stress was alleviated within the first hour of the ball’s commencement. Itwas clear from the early onset of revelry that the festivities of Mayfair Manor had beenmissed immensely since the family had its run of bad luck.

In fact, the ball raised Martha’s spirits quite a bit, and not just because of the praise shereceived for all the aspects of the ball. She was quick to point out that Emma’s advancedpalette had chosen the food to prepare for the evening. As nice as the compliments were,Martha found that many of her old friends had genuinely missed her company.

Martha’s husband had taken her away to a home far from London and had closed her offfrom many of her old acquaintances. She had made the best of entertaining hisconnections and their wives, but she found many of them to be unpleasant and boorish.For a long while, she fretted that she simply did not fit in. Now she was able to puttogether that her husband kept rather poor company to match his own inner ugliness.

Despite her eagerness to engage in social frivolity until her voice gave out, Martha knewthat she couldn’t ignore the primary reason she had thrown the ball. The gentlemen hadcome to meet her, and she couldn’t leave them wanting, could she?

She was happy to learn that her dance card was the first to fill. As a widow, and one ofthe older unmarried ladies in the ton, she hadn’t expected such eager attention. Eitherthe unmarried gentlemen were genuinely encouraged by her recent change in status, orthey were being exceedingly polite. Martha wouldn’t feel vexed either way.

Once she had to resolve a dispute between Lord Wellingway and Lord Quinton overplacement on her dance card; she knew she had to intervene before someone becameinjured, in body or ego. “Gentlemen,” Martha said with a cheery smile while raising handsto each of them, “I know it might seem unfair to the one who has to dance with me, butif one of you would take the honor of dancing with my sister Emma, I’m sure you will findyourself unable to compare her beauty and grace to any other.” Put into such a placesocially caused the lords to quickly resolve their dispute, Lord Wellingway taking a placeon her sister’s card. A little more maneuvering and Martha was able to fill up her sister’sdances as well.

“I thought the whole point was for you to meet gentlemen. I was not prepared forcourtship tonight,” Emma told her when they had a moment aside. Her wide eyes almostappeared owlish behind the thin round rims of her spectacles.

“It is for me. I just wish to have my sister close by for the dancing, for comfort and such.Take pity on me, Emma. I am diving into all of this, but I am very much out of practice.”

Emma’s lips were a grim line, but she nodded in understanding.

As the night progressed, Martha found herself having a good time. A grand time. One ofthe best times she had in years! But she didn’t find what she had sought from this ball.None of the gentlemen she talked to or danced with were unpleasant; frankly, everyonewas more than charming. The problem she found herself quite frustrated with was thelack of passion she felt. None of the gentlemen here made her heart thump in her chestor her skin feel hot. She yearned for someone who would make her feel so strongly thatshe couldn’t think straight.

She used to think that love like that was just in stories until her sister Harriet proved toher it was real, and now Martha wanted that love more than anything.

She had grown tired of dancing. She excused herself after the last dance, before thesecond break began, to go out to the garden for some air. When a gentleman offered toescort her, she needed to be a little more insistent than was proper to deter him. She lether frustration get the better of her, and that firmed her resolve to get a moment toherself.

She knew the fresh air of the garden would calm her.

Amanda awoke in her darkened bedroom. She had no memory of falling asleep, only ofcrying for a long time and the warm, and slightly damp, comforting shoulder in her father.Now she was alone and didn’t care for it.

She was about to call out for her governess when she noticed something outside herbedroom window. In the garden in the manor nearby, swirls of colorful light and fabricintermingled in the mix of light and darkness, reminding her of the fairy lights that OldNann, the cook, had told her about. A few steps towards the window, and she caught asound, just a few chords of music on the wind. Yes, this must be one of those fairy partiesfrom the stories.

Old Nann had warned her that if she ever saw fairies, or anything that indicated they hadbeen there, she should not go near. But Amanda also remembered that fairies can giveamazing gifts and wishes, even giving out new brothers and sisters. Didn’t that mean thatthey could give her a new mommy?

Amanda climbed over the twisted metal railing of her bedroom window. She was only afew feet from the ground, and her bare feet landed silently in the cool dew-covered grass.She started her pilgrimage across lawns of lords and ladies towards the lights and themusic.

J

Chapter Four

ames let out a long, tired sigh as he took a small but healthy sip of the wine thatswirled and stuck to the walls of his glass. It tasted sweet and strong on histongue and helped wash away the bitter taste that stuck in the back of his throatafter having to retell the story of losing his wife.

He was considering returning to the work he had been attempting to finish all day butdecided against it. Fate had decided that work, in particular, would remain incompletetoday, and who was he to try and fight the flow of the destiny?

He stood, feeling the muscles he didn’t know he was tensing relax as a soreness wrappeditself around him. Another long sip of the strong wine, and he thought that bed might bea better choice. Before he could follow through, though, there was a knock at his officedoor.

“Come in,” he said curtly, unsure who would bother him at this late an hour.

He recognized the slim dark figure before she fully emerged from the shadow of the door.“My Lord,” she said.

“Ah, Miss Blake, what can I do for you?” James asked, slightly surprised. He did not oftensee the governess without his daughter in tow. It was an odd moment, like findingsomething missing from a painting he had seen every day.

“That is what I came to ask you, Lord. I know dealing with your daughter’s inquisitivenesscan be daunting,” she said with a small measure of sympathy.

James shook his head. “It is natural to want to know of one’s parents. She has no conceptof grief, and I hope it is a lesson she won’t learn for a long time, if I am to be honest,” hesighed, lost in thought for a moment. “I’m still worried about my dear Amanda. If youcould check on her, make sure she is sleeping? I want to know she is doing well. I knowdifficult emotions can be hard on such a small girl,” the Earl asked, his eyes full ofconcern and a softness that he reserved just for when he was speaking of his daughter.

Miss Blake gave a curt nod. “Of course, Lord Barristen. I will make sure that the child isseen to. Will you be requiring anything else?” She paused ever so slightly. “Should Ireturn to let you know how she is?”

“I do not think that will be necessary. I believe I am going to retire early this evening,and I trust you can see to anything she needs. You have proven yourself to be a morethan a capable governess, Miss Blake, I know I can rely on you,” James told her andmeant it. He did not know the first thing about child-rearing and had found himself afather of a toddler and in mourning at the same time. Miss Sarah Blake had been there tohelp him pick up the pieces, and he would always be grateful for her assistance.

“You honor me, My Lord. I will be off then. Please have a peaceful evening,” thegoverness said with a thin smile and exited the room.

James spent a few minutes collecting himself, sorting the paperwork and arranging theledgers in the correct order. He took his time and felt no need to rush this straightening,hence his surprise when a frantic knocking rang through the quiet and sleepy office. Whenhe opened the door and found a panicked and breathless Miss Blake, his surprise turnedto shock.

“Miss Blake, dear woman, what is the matter?” James asked.

Sarah Blake struggled to find her voice through the gasps of air, and James could onlyfeel the knot of panic grow and tighten in his gut with each passing second that he had

no explanation. It had to be Amanda; what else would distress his governess so? Butwhat could have occurred to his poor sweet daughter as she lay sleeping in her bed?

“It’s Amanda, My Lord!” she finally said between gasping breaths. “She is missing!”

“Missing?” The word rang quiet and hollow on James’ own ears.

“She isn’t in her bed, and none of the servants have seen her anywhere in the house,”Miss Blake explained. “I made sure to check all the obvious places before informing you. Iwas sure she would be simply sneaking sweets in the larder again, but I…” She stoppedto take another breath then simply shook her head instead of finishing her sentence.

The world began to tunnel around James, and the floor became like sand beneath hisfeet, causing him to feel his sense of balance no longer belonged to him. He couldn’thave lost his daughter as well. That wouldn’t be right. That wouldn’t be fair. She was allhe had in the whole world; it wouldn’t be right for her to be taken from him.

His own voice echoed in his head, “Get ahold of yourself, James. Amanda needs you nowmore than ever. She is out there, somewhere, and she needs her father to find her.”

The world snapped back into clear focus. James felt his blood run cold in his veins and heturned to the governess who seemed on the edge of panic. “Miss Blake, your attention ifyou please.”

“Yes, My Lord. I’m sorry, My Lord.”

“No need to apologize. Please pay close attention, as I need your help.” He spoke to herdirectly and clearly as he looked her in the eye. “Assemble the staff. Everyone, sleepingor not. Have them meet me in the entrance hall, understand?”

She nodded for a moment. “What are we assembling them for, My Lord?”

“We are going to organize into search parties using whoever knows each part of thehouse and the land best,” he informed her while he put his coat back on and prepared alantern. “We are going to find my daughter, no matter what. I know no one here willhesitate; my daughter is as much theirs as she is mine,” James remarked with an almostbitter smile. “It’s a shame that it takes moments like this to remind me of thatsometimes.”

The governess looked like she didn't know what to say.

“Miss Blake, please, I urge you to hurry and fetch the staff.” James insisted.

She gave a quick apologetic bow and hurried away into the dark hall behind her.

As Lord Barristen turned to grab the master ring of keys from his desk, he noticed amixture of colorful light cast from a nearby manor through the window of his office. Acurious and suspicious look crossed his face before he departed to meet with his staff.

T

Chapter Five

he cool night air was relieving and refreshing, and it soothed the overly warmMartha. Her legs were hot and aching from the dancing, and her face was flushedfrom the bit of drink she had been sipping throughout the night. The giddiness that

had carried her from one social circle to another in the grand ballroom began to flickerwhen surrounded by darkness. It did not make her feel somber, though. It made her feelserene.

She was about to let her thoughts wander when a pale thing caught her eye. At first, shewould have sworn it was a ghost, dancing this way and that through the pathways of herfamily’s garden. As it drew closer, she realized that the paleness was the white of achild’s nightclothes, and the thing was in fact a young girl. This did resolve one mysterybut created a completely new one, a mystery much more grounded in reality yetsomehow more difficult to solve as a result.

When Martha opened her mouth to inquire where the girl had come from, the little girlspoke first, whispering for some reason, “Are you one of the faeries?”

Martha was stunned into silence. She must have misheard. “I beg your pardon?”

“Are you one of the faeries?” the little girl whispered again, this time very insistently as ifshe had asked the most obvious question in the world.

“A... fairy? No, no, I don’t believe so,” Martha managed. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh.” The girl seemed disappointed but didn’t answer Martha’s question. “Are the fairiesinside?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Martha clarified. “I don’t think there are any fairies here at all. MayI ask why you think there would be?”

“All the colored lights,” the girl said, while she pointed at the party decorations, “and themusic. This looked like one of the fairy parties that Old Nann would tell me about.” Thegirl crossed over to a nearby bench and sat down, kicking her legs while she explained.“But that isn’t what’s going on, is it?”

“No, it’s just a normal party. A ball. I am glad you liked how colorful my decorations are,though,” Martha said as she joined the little girl on the bench. “What’s your name?”

“Amanda,” the girl answered.

The Baroness waited for a moment, hoping the child would add any other indicator ofwhere she had come from, but none came. “Nice to meet you, Amanda. I’m Martha.”

“Nice to meet you, Martha,” she replied in turn, and Martha felt confident that this wasn’tsome errant child of a servant but rather a child of the aristocracy, even if she had a bit ofan issue with the rules of decorum. Perhaps one of the guests’ daughter?

Martha was going to ask more about the girl’s origins, but the strangeness of thesituation pressed her curiosity in another direction. “Why were you looking for fairies? Ithought people were supposed to avoid fairy parties. Won’t they come and kidnap you orsomething like that?”

“Sometimes they do,” Amanda nodded with sage wisdom beyond her years. “Sometimesthey switch you out with a fairy person who looks just like a human person, butsometimes they grant wishes.”

“Were you looking for a wish?” Martha asked with a light laugh. She didn’t want tocondescend to the child, but she couldn’t help but be delighted by Amanda’s innocentdetermination.

“Sort of. I was kind of hoping the fairies could give me a new mother,” Amanda explainedrather matter-of-factly.

“What’s wrong with the mother you have now?” Martha wasn’t sure if this was still sweet,or if she should be worried for the poor girl.

The girl pouted a little before answering her, “My mother died when I was very little. It’snot fair that I don’t have one now.”

This small statement struck Martha, leaving her without anything to say for a long time.Amanda simply sat next to her and kicked her legs staring at the grass while she did.

“I actually lost my mother at a very young age, too,” Martha was surprised to find herselfsaying. She almost never talked about it with anyone, not even her own sisters. Now shefound common ground with this strange child, and it felt natural to talk about.

“Really?” The girl looked at her with wide innocent eyes.

“Really. It hurt a lot, even if I was small,” Martha said, unconsciously kicking her own feetright along with Amanda.

“Did you end up getting a new mother?” the girl asked.

“No. My sister and aunt were there to help take care of me, but I really took care ofmyself a lot too. I’m not really sure what a new mother would have done for me if I didget one though,” Martha mused. “What do you want a new one for?”

“You know,” Amanda said as if it were obvious, “for things that mothers are good for. Likecomforting you when you are sad or hugging you in just the right way.”

“That might be nice. But other people can do that too,” Martha explained, “like yourfather.”

“Fathers are different,” the girl shook her head. “A hug from Papa makes me feel betterabout some things, but it's not the same.”

“Oh,” Martha nodded as if she understood and part of her did. “Well, do you have anysiblings?”

Amanda shook her head. “It is just me and father in our family.”

“Oh,” Martha said again. “Well, you can always have friends that help you feel better.”

“Friends?”

“Yes, friends you can talk to and tell them why you are sad. Friends want to help theirfriends be happy,” Martha said, thinking about the people she left inside. She didn’t thinkher advice was bad, but it felt a tad hypocritical. She didn’t have any friends that she feltshe could confide in. How could she expect this child to understand?

There was another brief silence between them. This time Martha realized somethingparticular about it. The silence between her and Amanda wasn’t an uncomfortable one.Martha felt a slight pang at that moment; the thought of the children she couldn’t havebriefly flashed into her mind. She allowed the thought to wander, imagining this little girlin place of her own lost children. She did this for but a moment as she found the sadnessthat came with the fantasy too great and quickly dismissed it.

“Would you want to be my friend, Martha?” the girl’s voice seemed to be oddly loud

despite the chaotic noise that came from the party behind them.

“That would be lovely,” Martha told her.

“And I can tell you when I am sad?” Amanda asked.

“Anytime you want,” the Baroness assured her.

“Okay,” Amanda said quietly before sliding over and leaning against the woman she justmet. “I’m sad. I think I miss my mom.”

“That’s okay, dear,” Martha replied, tentatively putting her arm around the girl in a hug.“I miss my mom, too.”

While she was hugging Amanda, she noticed faint lines on her skin on the back of herneck that traced down past the collar of her nightclothes. Whatever they were, they weredifficult to make out in the dim light of the garden. Before she could think to ask aboutthem, a voice called out from the darkness.

“There you are! Amanda, dear one, you had me worried sick!”

The gentleman that followed the voice was one of the most handsome Martha had everseen. His strong features were only marred by the worry they wore.

Martha stood up before the gentleman and noticed a tall woman with raven black hairmostly hidden behind him. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure, sir. Is this yourdaughter?”

“I apologize, My Lady. I am Lord James Williams, Earl of Barristen, and yes, that is mydear daughter,” the Earl said, trying to be polite but finding himself struggling to be

anything but brief. The relief he felt was mingling with exhaustion from the long night. “Iapologize that my daughter wandered onto your property. I believe she was drawn to thelights and music of your affair here.”

“Children are often want to wander,” the lady said with a polite smile. “I am Lady MarthaWorter, Baroness of Carrington. I take it that your daughter wandered from nearby then?I didn’t realize that this Amanda was Lady Amanda Williams, or I would have returned herhome.”

James ushered his daughter over to him, hugging her tightly. She was crying again, butthe tears were silent this time. He quietly assured her that she was not in trouble as hehugged her close. He made a mental note to explain to her why she shouldn’t leavewithout telling someone first but didn’t plan on punishing her. He thought he might be toosoft on his daughter, even spoil her a little, but that he could never change about theirrelationship. He didn’t have the will.

Turning back to the conversation at hand, he had to think back about what LadyCarrington said to him. “No way you could have recognized her. I don’t believe you hadthe opportunity to do much socializing, given your status as a widow.” James tried to stopthe annoyance that crept into his voice now. “Something you are trying to make up for, Itake it?”

Martha seemed to be processing what he had just said to her as if the tone of his voicewas unexpected. “I hardly think that one party constitutes any sort of catching up,” shesaid unsurely but followed it up with a smile. “Give me a little more time, though.Perhaps if I make the next one a bit more tempting, we will find you in attendance.” Hersmile unconsciously widened at the thought of managing to attract this handsome lord.

“I find my patience with the matter tested quite enough already, thank you.” His tonehad turned hard and cool. “I think it unlikely that our tastes could find a meeting point.The least I could ask for the next ball is to make the theme a bit less alluring to children.”

“My Lord,” Martha huffed, her good mood turned sour, “are you insinuating something?”

“Miss Blake, would you please see my daughter back to her bed. I believe I need to havea brief discussion with Lady Carrington. I’ll be but a moment,” he said while passing hisdaughter to the governess. The girl’s tears had put her to sleep again, but only Sarahnoticed. James and Martha were staring at each other, bolts of anger flickering betweenthem.

Martha spoke first after the child had been escorted away, “Am I to understand correctly,Lord Barristen, that you are offended that I located your missing daughter? Because thatwould seem to be what you are insinuating.”

“I’m insinuating nothing of the sort, My Lady.” James’ voice went from cool to downrightcold. “I am rather off-put that your impromptu and improper ball has lured my daughterfrom her bed.”

“Improper?” Martha was genuinely surprised. “What have I done that you have foundimproper?”

“Do lords and ladies not hold to mourning customs now?” he asked tersely. His ownmourning period only ended after five years and at the insistence at several members ofhis club that enough time had passed. Still, a year to him seemed short.

“Does custom not dictate I wait for one year? Have I not mourned long enough for myhusband for your liking?” she shot back, practically speaking between her teeth.

“If my memory is correct, you did seem to wait almost precisely one year,” Jamesobserved airily. He might have been less bothered if Lady Carrington wasn’t so strikinglybeautiful. Now, in the rainbow light of her ballroom, she seemed almost ephemeral. Hedidn’t like the rush of emotions that came with staring at her. They felt unnatural andoutside his control, so he responded to them with something he could control, his anger.

Martha smiled with false sweetness. “Pray tell, My Lord, exactly how long must a Ladywait after the proper amount of time for it to be the proper amount of time? Should haveI read your published book on etiquette? I must have missed the printing.”

It was James’ turn to be caught off guard. He had not had anyone talk to him in such away in a very long time. Others were inclined to be kinder to a widower, but LadyCarrington felt no inclination.

“I am curious where you did learn your manners, My Lady? Do you normally talk to agentleman with that tone, or am I personally blessed with that good fortune?” Jamestone could not be described as anything short of acidic.

“It must be my good fortune, My Lord.” Her smile never wavered, and she felt her heartthudding in her chest. “As you know I have been having a run of luck as of late.”

James looked as if he had been physically struck. “Well, I must be thankful that I have noplans of leaving for other pastures anytime soon, less I would be without the company ofsomeone both so fortunate and so lovely.”

They both felt his eyes on her at the same time, and she was prepared to use it againsthim cuttingly when instead her cheeks felt flushed. Had he tried to insult her orcompliment her? A poor excuse for either, most assuredly. “Much the gentleman that youare to measure me so?”

James turned away, embarrassed and in denial. “I was simply astonished that a lady ofsuch clear high standing could treat her home and guests in such a fashion, and you, inturn, mistook my astonishment for awe. In the future, would you mind being a mightmore considerate of your neighbors having to endure your raucous events, hm?”

Before Martha could summon another angry rebuttal, the Earl had slipped into the outergarden to make his way back to his home, leaving her with her cheeks burning in thedark.

T

Chapter Six

hat anger would continue to smolder for the rest of the evening. Thankfully, therewasn’t much of the party left to ruin, so Martha didn’t feel forced to hold thebrazen lord accountable for that. Unfortunately, she still found herself thinking of

him the following morning.

“It would seem that the ball was a great success. Don’t be surprised if you find yourselfwithin many invitation circles for years to come. It might even improve your chances offinding someone to marry,” Emma commented as they ate their breakfast.

“I don’t want to marry. I want to find someone with whom I can be passionate,” Marthatold her sister crossly, “and not everyone was a fan of the festivities. It would appear oneof our neighbors, Lord Barristen, found our party inappropriate.”

“I do recall saying that was a possibility,” Emma noted.

Martha continued, getting more heated, “No one at the party made any sort ofobservation.”

“As your guests, it would have been more scandalous to make the observation to youdirectly,” Emma sighed, “which makes Lord Barristen nothing short of an absolute rascal.”It was clear to Martha that she wasn’t taking her frustration very seriously. “I thought hechose not to attend. Did he show up unexpectedly?”

“He came to get his daughter,” Martha explained in a clipped tone, not appreciating hersister’s dry humor.

“We invited his daughter?” Emma asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“No, she wandered in through the garden. I guess she saw the lights and music from herroom and wanted to come and see what was going on,” Martha’s tone became moreforgiving when the subject turned to Amanda from her infuriating father.

“And he came to retrieve her and was rude to you in the process? He really is ascoundrel,” Emma said with a note of indignation.

“Exactly,” Martha felt the embers of her anger start to spark again. “Insulting myladyship. He knew I wouldn’t make a scene because of my party. I’m inclined to go overthere and give him a piece of my mind.”

“Really?” Emma asked with no small measure of surprise. “I would have figured that youwould never want to see him again.”

Of course, Martha never wanted to see him again, not socially. Still, and she would neveradmit this to her sister, the way he just appeared in the night to whisk his daughter awaywas... intriguing. It didn’t hurt that he was so handsome. Certainly, she never wanted tosee him again. But looking at him a bit more wouldn’t hurt…

“M’Lord? You are writing on your shirt sleeve,” Mr. Page said cautiously.

“Hm?” James looked down from his view of the neighboring Manor through his officewindow and found he had extended the missive from the paper onto the white fabric ofhis shirt. “Curses,” he swore and dabbed at his sleeve with a handkerchief to no avail.

James stood and strode to the door of his office, and Mr. Arthur Page stepped out of hisway. The young man was probably barely older than eighteen, and if he were anyskinnier, he would have been hard to spot in a forest. He was one of the employees ofthe shipping company that James was an investor in: Killan & Company. Thoughtechnically not one of his people, Mr. Page was often close on hand as a go-between forthe Earl and the bosses and captains from the docks.

James opened the door and called for a servant to bring him a new shirt. “Apologies, Mr.Page. My mind has been wandering elsewhere.”

“No need to apologize to the likes of me, M’Lord. My time ain’t worth but pennies toyours,” he said with a friendly smile. “‘Sides, where else do I have to be. Not like I can goback to work without those papers and the like.”

“True,” James said absentmindedly, looking out the window once more.

“If you don’t mind me asking, M’Lord, what is it that is occupying your mind? As itcertainly doesn’t seem to be the business, and the last time I saw you focused onanything more than the business was... well actually I can’t say I’ve ever seen you focuson anything more than Killan & Co., truth be told,” the young man admitted.

James had to shake himself from the actual distraction to answer the question. “I, hm, Ihad a run-in with one of my neighbors; it was a bit confrontational, I must admit.”

“Confrontational, M’Lord? Does that mean you are going to have to defend your honor?Going to have to duel with swords and pistols in secret and the like?” Mr. Page laughed asif he found the whole idea of a duel quite ridiculous. James could not find the humor in it,himself, but he knew that the young man meant well.

“No, not that sort of confrontation. It was with the lady of the house. A ball she washosting was a bit more disruptive than I would have liked. I fear I may have been a bitharsh though,” James said, more to himself than to his employee.

“Well, whenever I upset the missus, I just put my hat in hand and apologize. I don’talways understand why, but I find it safer to er on the side of sorry, as I am sure youknow M’Lord,” Mr. Page nodded with a knowing smile.

“A gentleman must be careful not to apologize when he isn’t at fault. He has much atstake in his name, Mr. Page. It wouldn’t be honorable,” James said while stacking andbinding the missive and accompanying paperwork then handing it to the delivery man.

“As I am sure, M’Lord. I am to be off, then. Good luck with your neighborly dispute and allthat.” Mr. Page gave a nod, a smile, and a wink and exited the room with a surprisingamount of grace. Sometimes afterward, James swore he would have to convince himselfthat the employee was ever there.

Despite his explanation to his employee, he still didn’t feel content with the situation. Allhe could think about was those beautiful green eyes looking up at him in the dark, widewith surprise at the bitterness in his voice. What would his daughter think of him if shehad seen him act that way? It was hard to say what he did was gentlemanly.

He resolved to himself to apologize to the lady for his tone, at least, the next time hesaw her.

In the coming weeks, the Earl found himself doing everything he could to avoid goinganywhere near the Baroness’s estate. He was only vaguely conscious of it at first, but itwas brought to his attention because his daughter was practically insisting they playnearer and nearer to Lady Carrington’s manor.

At first, James was ashamed to think it was his, well, shame at his behavior that kept himaway, but he soon realized that wasn’t the case. The thoughts that he pushed awayabout the Baroness weren’t ones of guilt but rather of desire. He wanted to see her againand admire the gentle curve of her face. He even imagined reaching out and gripping herhand, pulling her against his body.

He would often dismiss these thoughts with a quick shake of his head. Physical urgeswere something to be expected, being a healthy human male, but he had learned that

these urges didn’t have to be followed. He could never love again, never live with thepossibility of suffering through that anguish and loss again. Still, despite his consciousinsistence, his own mind seemed determined to thwart him. He would daydream abouthow her skin felt, the shape of her body beneath her dresses, and what it be like to hearher whisper his name.

But now, thoughts of the Baroness of Carrington came unbidden to his mind. He was alsofrustrated, if unwillingly so, that he had so few impressions of her to draw upon. He hadseen her angry in the dark. He wished he could see her in the morning sun of his atrium.He really wished he could see her smile. He was certain his imagination, as wild as it ran,did her little justice.

These feelings were made all the more frightening because they were involuntary. Withhis wife, Lucienne, their relationship had been decided by their parents long before. Hehad loved Lu, there was no doubt about that, but he knew that he was supposed to loveher. These feelings that James had toward the Lady Carrington were foreign to him andadded an additional layer of discomfort.

So, his unconscious decision to avoid Lady Carrington soon became a conscious one. Hewould have to live with the consequences of her thinking him a heartless cad. It wasbetter, really, for it would keep her far away. He didn’t think that his wayward lustfulthoughts would tempt him in reality, but why chance it. Nothing good could come of himlusting after her, of wanting to touch her so badly that it consumed him from a straythought like a spark consumes stray kindling, hungry and wanton.

These were the thoughts that were running through James’ head as he spotted hisdaughter, through a window, running excitedly across the lawns towards the neighboringManor. James cursed quietly under his breath.

“M

Chapter Seven

artha! Martha!” Amanda shouted as she ran across the garden, tripping a little on astone or a stray root which gave her all the grace that was expected of a girl her age,less so a girl of the ton.

Martha set her paintbrush against her palette. Along with trying to socialize more, shehad taken back up the hobbies that her relationship with her husband had forced her togive up. The lighting in the garden in the late morning made the greens especiallyvibrant, and she liked to paint there. Amanda was one of the last people she wasexpecting to interrupt her painting, but it wasn’t an unwelcome interruption.

“Hello, sweetie,” Martha said with a smile. “I wasn’t expecting you to be stopping by. Didyou sneak over here again?” she asked jokingly.

“Uh-huh!” Amanda said nodding as she gasped for air. She stood next to the easel now.

“Oh,” Martha said while biting her lip, knowing this could lead to trouble. “Is that thetruth?”

“Yes! Miss Blake was doing my daily lessons, and I waited for her to go get somecharcoal and paper and snuck out the window,” she said with a playful grin. “I wouldmuch rather play with my friend than listen to boring old lessons.”

“Lessons are important too, you know?” Martha said tactfully. “Have you started painting

yet?”

Amanda cocked her head a little. “Just a bit.”

“Would you like me to show you? I’ve been painting for a long time,” Martha offeredgently, hoping she might persuade the girl. Any sort of lesson was better than no lessonat all, she rationalized.

Amanda walked around to stand in front of the easel, and Martha took it as anopportunity to explain what she was doing and the techniques behind it. Each brushstroke and color choice had experience behind it, and all Martha had to do was explain it.

Martha never considered herself any sort of teacher and would have judged Amanda tobe an overly precocious student. But as she taught, despite there not being much directengagement, she saw that the child was fairly enraptured as they painted together. Itturned out that Martha herself was fairly engrossed as well, because neither of themnoticed Lord Barristen crossing the lawns to reach them.

“I thought we had a discussion about your going places without telling anyone?” His deepstern voice cut through the mixture of Martha’s instruction and morning birdsong. Bothladies jumped in surprise, Martha managing to knock into the easel and canvas. Withsurprising speed for a man his size, James stepped forward and stopped it from foldingand falling.

“Papa!” Amanda cried out in sheepish excitement. “Martha was teaching me how topaint.”

“Was she now?” he asked with genuine curiosity, before pivoting to correct his daughter.“And we refer ladies as appropriate to their station. She is Lady Carrington.”

“But we are allowed to refer to our friends by their first names, I thought?” Amandaasked.

“Yes, but close friends,” her father partially conceded.

“We are close friends.” Amanda challenged, which caused James to look up at theBaroness with an arched eyebrow. Martha was holding back laughter behind her hand, alltoo amused, but she nodded all the same.

“All right, but never in front of company. Only in private, are we clear?” James said firmlybut rested his hand gently atop his daughter’s head before turning his attention toMartha. “I suppose I should thank you for attending to my daughter twice now.”

Martha sniped at the Earl’s words, before she could catch herself. “You plan on thankingme this time?”

He cleared his throat and looked ashamed. “I deserve that. You helped me find the mostimportant person in the world to me and treated her with kindness, and I was nothing buta cad and…, and I was many other things I would hesitate to say in front of my daughter.Please accept my sincerest apologies.”

The Earl and his family seemed full of surprises to Martha, and only her good socialtraining kept her from standing there with her mouth wide open. “Of course, My Lord. Youwere surely upset about the goings-on. Who of us hasn’t been swept up in our ownemotions? Your apology is gratefully received.”

“I am happy to hear it,” he said, and that was the first time she saw him smile. It wascertainly an unpracticed act as if sadness had worn at him for a long time, but it wasn’tan awkward expression as some people made when they smiled. She returned the smile,not out of polite reflex, but genuine enjoyment of having seen it.

In turn, James was captivated by the smile he had been dreaming of, and the realitydidn’t even come close to what he had imagined. Martha could really light up a room andfill it with joy and cheer, things that had been long absent from James’s life.

Again, with a quick shake of the head, he took his daughter’s hand in his wordlessly. “Ithink it’s time that we take our leave. If there is anything you ever need of me LadyCarrington, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Actually,” Her audacity surprised herself as she watched James stop mid-turn and lookback at her.

“Yes?” he said simply.

“As fun as the ball may have been, I still find myself in desperate need of company.There are few people willing to socialize with a lady recently out of mourning.” A lie. Whywas she lying to him? “I know you have a strong reputation as an upstanding gentlemanwith no risk of being tarnished by someone like me, and I thought you might be willing tocome and keep me company in the near future.”

“Well, of course, my daughter and I would be more than happy to…” he said, quicklytrying to assert a scenario he was comfortable with.

“And while spending time with my dear friend Amanda is something that I am alsolooking forward to, I am speaking more of the company of other adults, you understand.”Martha was screaming at herself to stop. To look at the discomfort in his face and let itgo. Why would someone like him want to spend time with someone like her? All she didwas force him to reject her more directly and make it awkward. She cursed herself on theinside for being such a dolt.

“That…” the hesitation hitched in James’ chest. He found her company pleasant, andthere was nothing improper with a little socializing, but what she was proposing wassomething else entirely. His standing, his knowledge of etiquette, everything told him thiswas against good decorum. Still, he was tempted. Of course, he would want to be closeto her, near her, perhaps even have her dote on him. Nothing sounded more appealing inthat moment.

“That sounds lovely,” he finally said to Martha’s hidden relief.

Lovely,” Martha almost squeaked, “I will make the arrangements and send word, so youmay visit.” She laughed with a mixture of nervousness and awkwardness. “I look forwardto it, but please don’t let me keep you,” she said, packing up her painting things andfeeling far sillier than she had moments ago. She hurried off with a brief goodbye to bothof them.

“Father?” Amanda asked as they turned to head back home.

“Yes, dear one,” James asked, not sure how to gauge the arrangements he had justmade or their reception. He admitted that he felt just the faintest bit giddy, but only tohimself.

“Can I ask you a question?” she said with an innocence that always tugged at hisheartstrings.

“You always can, and I will always try to answer,” he told his daughter.

“What does adult company mean?”

It was at that moment that James felt extremely tired.

N

Chapter Eight

either James nor Martha knew exactly how to proceed with making socialarrangements. They knew the protocol, to be sure, but not how to navigate aspace where animosity had been only days ago, and that space was now filled

with a stirred curiosity. The power that had driven her forward now felt terrifying toMartha, and she struggled to believe that she had been the one to make the suggestionat all.

In the end, she sent word to Lord Barristen’s estate about an invitation for mid-afternoontea. He accepted with courtesy and dictum. The arrangements were finally made, andshe didn’t feel any more foolish than when the ordeal began. She was so relieved thatshe almost forgot about the rendezvous altogether.

But the day was coming, regardless of how much it occupied Martha’s mind. It was notfully unexpected, but, still, she felt a bit strange sitting in the music room across from agentleman she had spoken with in person on just two occasions, only one of themarguably pleasant.

“I must admit,” James said, clearing his throat after a few moments of silent sipping, “thisis a tad awkward.”

“Isn’t it just!” Martha couldn’t help but giggle nervously. This would have been a biteasier if Lord Barristen wasn’t devilishly handsome and dressed eloquently. Martha wouldhave previously called anyone a liar if they told her the most handsome color agentleman could wear was a soft shade of brown, but with Lord Barristen in front of her,she was nearly convinced.

“But I am glad you invited me, Lady Carrington. I felt like an absolute cad, and it isremarkable to me that you are giving me an opportunity to demonstrate my more likabledisposition, as it were,” the Earl explained which encouraged a more natural conversationat the same time.

“Now, you will have to forgive me, but I need to be frank about something,” Marthaadmitted while she looked at him seriously. “You were absolutely being a cad,” she said,while she smiled mischievously.

The lord was taken aback at first but then laughed and nodded. “Then, and forgive myforwardness, I can’t imagine why you would want to socialize at all. Not to mention whyyou were interested in having me for tea.”

Martha turned her face away, hoping that Lord Barrinsten would not see her blush. Shecould not possibly admit to him her real reasoning, could she? “A funny thing, isn’t it, MyLord? We are both past our youth, but circumstance leads us to something reminiscent ofit. This makes me feel very conscious of myself. I feel far too mature to still beembarrassed while talking to a gentleman.” She used the admission to deflect thequestion and hoped her openness would make him miss that she hadn’t answered it.

“Regardless of maturity, you have no reason to feel embarrassment, My Lady. Nothingyou do could be more embarrassing than how I acted during our initial meeting. Ifanything, you are owed a faux pas or two.” James tried to put her at ease.

“Please, My Lord, let me save those until such a time that they will be the most useful,which, according to my sisters, will not be long at all,” she said, while she continued tolaugh.

“If I am to keep them for you, then would you do me a great service in allowing us tostart fresh? I want to request this with great humility.” James was smiling but gave aslight bow.

“I think that would only be proper,” Martha granted.

“Thank you,” James said with a comfortable sigh. “But now we are faced with anotherconundrum.”

“What's that, My Lord?” Marth asked with genuine curiosity.

“Now that the air has been cleared of misgivings and ill feelings, what ever will we talkabout?” The smile on Lord Barristen’s face was the most playful that Martha could everimagine on him, which while a small amount was still of note.

“Surely the two of us are more interesting than you are judging, My Lord.” Marthacountered.

“We are, surely. But since it has become clear that you did not invite me as some sort ofbizarre social punishment for my poor etiquette, I’m still at a loss as to what I owe thepleasure of your company.” The Earl raised his open palms towards her as a sign ofconcession.

“Was my explanation to you the other day not sufficient?” Martha questioned.

“I thought it was simplified specifically for my daughter's benefit,” James explained.

“To some extent,” Martha paused and thought on the matter a bit more. “I’m afraid therereally isn’t much more to it, My Lord. I have not found myself bereft of company, as youwell know. But, how do I put this tactfully, I find myself wanting engaging company.” As ifunconsciously, she let her fingertips brush against his hand as she procured a sugar cube.She enjoyed the warm, slightly coarse sensation of the back of his hand so much, shedidn’t realize she had forgotten to apologize until much later.

The Earl smiled at her, trying to play off the obvious accident, “Am I the sort of companyyou are looking for then? You are saying that you found me engaging?”

Martha realized that she had overplayed herself and blushed lightly. She turned her faceaway again and hoped she would not have to make a habit of it. “You seem to have thepotential to be interesting, if you trust my judgment on the matter,” she said, her replyslightly harsh to try and compensate for how exposed she felt.

“Indeed, I find myself inclined to confirm that judgment,” he said with a light chuckle.Martha watched his eyes glance around her as he spoke. If she didn’t think better of theEarl, she would swear that he was eyeing her body. She was surprised when she realizedthat she hoped that he liked what he saw. His words snapped her back. “I must admit, Ifind you quite engaging as well. It has been a long time since I let myself laugh with suchease.”

The Lady of Carrington’s face only flushed more, and the two exchanged little snatchesand smatterings of conversation as they nursed the tea and pecked at sandwiches. Fromthe outside, it would appear they talked of very little, but, in reality, there were twoconversations occurring. What was being said on the surface, and what they saidbetween the polite words. They earnestly wanted to talk to each other with ease andcomfort, feeling a bond had formed between them already, stronger perhaps than wasappropriate. It could not be acknowledged, though, for they were both guarded becauseof the hurt they had suffered before.

“Tell me, My Lord, do you think love in all its forms is natural of humanity or somethingspiritually pursued?” she remarked flippantly as if such a heavy question weighed thesame as the weather.

“That... is difficult to say. Why do you ask?” James was more curious about the questionthan what the lady expected his answer to be.

“Well, if romance is purely of the soul, then love shouldn’t happen very much at all, letalone its iterations such as desire. But if it is a need of the body, if we need love to live,then some things that may be condemned should be excused,” she remarked, againlightheartedly.

The words made James’ ears and cheeks burn. He had to be reading too much into whatshe said. She couldn’t be implying what he thought she was. “If I didn’t know any better

milady, I’d say you were condoning some rather risqué behavior,” he replied, his toneclearly indicated he was amused.

“And from your response, I would call you a moral absolutist. But you seem far toopleasurable company.” This comment made them both laugh, and the conversationreturned to its normal lightness.

By the time James had said his goodbyes and well wishes for the afternoon, they bothknew that their armor had cracked.

Martha felt peace in this. She wanted to shed her armor, free herself of the punishingweight of it, peel it away so that the ability to trust was there for any gentlemaninterested in nurturing it.

Surely this would be some risk, but her difficult life had hardened her to such possibilities,hadn’t it? Hadn’t the cool carelessness of her late husband made her tougher? Stronger?She wished she could be certain of this, that the abuse she had endured had some sort ofsilver lining, but she couldn’t stop second guessing herself.

James, on the other hand, was more shaken by how content he felt at the Lady’s manor.When he left, he wasn’t even able to let himself find more than a modicum of enjoymentin it. The guilt consumed him, twisted in his gut. This wasn’t the way to honor someone'smemory, to fantasize about reaching across the tea table and taking another lady by thehand, the softness of her flesh gently yielding to his rougher grasp. He was in so littlecontrol of his thoughts that he felt the shame of his own foolishness piling atop the guilt.

Was it so bad to let himself feel again? To maybe even find happiness?

He knew to allow himself to justify this desire with the potential of happiness was goingto lead him down a path of heartache and sadness.

He was over thinking this situation. Caring so deeply was not going to happen. This was

about sharing in company, in desiring the touch of another, not love. No, love wassomething he was not capable of enduring again.

D

Chapter Nine

espite the guilt that he struggled with, James found himself again in LadyCarrington’s company. She had sent another invitation surprisingly soon. Givenhow recent their last meeting was, he had a good excuse to politely decline, but,

for some reason buried less deep than he cared to admit, he replied in confirmation. Ofcourse, he would join her for some music; he would be delighted.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting, My Lord,” Martha spoke from behind him, and he turnedto the sound of her voice. Had it always been so pleasant? He was going to offer agreeting of his own but found his voice stopped firm in his throat.

He had already thought Lady Carrington was far too beautiful of a lady to be content withhis attention, but, in that moment, she stood before him and left him wordless. Her dresswas a buttercup yellow and lovely in design. What James couldn’t get over, though, wasthe cut of the cloth. The lady’s dress was all but scandalous; it was cut low and revealedthe curve of her neck and dip of her collar bone, stopping slightly above the curve of herchest. The sleeves of the dress were also sheer, not uncommon, but he could see thatshe wore nothing to cover her arms beneath, and he could trace all the way up to herbare shoulders.

“My Lord? Is everything all right?” the Lady asked with a certain coyness to her voice. Atthat moment James knew this wasn’t some extreme lapse in judgment; she was dressedthis way on purpose.

James managed to swallow. “I was simply caught off guard by my lady’s suddenappearance, and my mind had wandered as I had waited,” he said with a smile. Hefought the urge to compliment her as he so desperately wanted to. He was worried about

what acknowledging the forwardness of her dress would lead to, no matter what thatwould be.

“Is that so, My Lord?” she asked, fighting a smirk. She clearly didn’t believe his assertion.

James rather brusquely ignored the question to save himself, a sacrifice of his own goodmanners for the greater good. “Who will be supplying us with music this evening?” heasked.

“For just the two of us? I thought I would play some piano,” she said, clearly a littledisappointed that he had not engaged with her. She sauntered over to the piano bench,frowning as Lord Barristen avoided looking at her the whole time.

James took an inordinate amount of time in the lavishly decorated music room trying tofind a place to sit. He had first chosen the most obvious place, an overstuffed chairslightly to the side of the piano, but quickly forced himself to move when he realized thatthis provided an even more direct view of the low-cut dress as the lady had to leanforward slightly to play. Quite flustered, he eventually chose the seat in the music roomfarthest from the piano.

“My Lord, please come sit closer. I want you to be able to hear properly,” she said with asmile and gestured.

“I think the acoustics of this room will be more than accommodating,” he replied with apolite nod from his distant seat. He struggled to keep his voice even and clear.

“My Lord, you are going to convince me that this is a commentary on my playing,” shepouted, her words a mixture of genuine sadness and a threat, in regards to LordBarristen’s disregard for proper manners.

James felt he was trapped where no decision he made was the correct one. He resignedto pleasing the lady in the room with him. He moved to a chair just behind Martha.

Perhaps if he could avoid the view directly, though part of his was reluctant to deprivehimself, he would be able to keep his wits about him.

“That is better, My Lord, but now I can’t see your face. I fear I will be terribly self-conscious if I have to play with you sitting behind me,” she explained. “Not to impose, butit just won’t do.”

“Oh,” James paused and thought. He felt he kept bumbling through this whole situation,and the light flush in his cheeks whenever he caught a glimpse of Lady Carrington’s dress.“I suppose you could have some of your staff move a chair to the other side of…”

“Nonsense,” she said and slid over to one side on the piano bench. She patted the spotnext to her with her hand. “There is plenty of room for two.”

“My Lady, I am worried that would be improper. There are certain rules of decorum thatwe are violating by socializing in this manner. I understand as we are both widowed thatsome exceptions will be made. That being said, I’m not sure what you are asking of me isacceptable,” James said as firmly as he could, but he could not hide the reluctance in hisvoice from either of them.

Lady Carrington looked at him, the emotions in her eyes oscillated between fear andfrustration. Finally, they filled with resolve, and she took a deep breath. “Lord Barristen, Iunderstand that my behavior might seem unconventional, but… I must be frank with you.My previous marriage was not a happy one.” She saw him open his mouth to speak, andshe held up one finger to stop him. “It is a difficult explanation to give, regardless of whatyou heard. It is also not something I am ready to discuss. That all being said, I wish toseek out a gentleman who makes me feel,” she searched for the word, “special.”

James was thrown for a loop. He was already unsure of where his emotions fell in thesituation, but now the lady had presented him with something he hadn’t considered. Shedesired his attention. “My Lady, I must be frank as well. I don’t know what to say. Whatyou are telling me is something unprecedented in my mind.”

“Surely a lord of your measure cannot be so genuinely humble?” she said, her tone an

unclear mixture of humor and cynicism.

James looked back at her with a vacant expression, still unsure of what to say.

Martha was forced to stifle a chuckle. “My Lord, I am asking you for the same thing Iasked you for initially, your company. The whole observation I would like to make is thatwe have some... leeway as far as proper decorum because of our unique circumstances. Iask that, if it is acceptable to you, we just let things be as they are between us in private,whatever that amounts to.”

James' face twisted in confusion. He was not an unintelligent gentleman, but this conceptwas something quite foreign to him. Could he let things like that just happen? Just tosseverything he knew about polite society to the wayside and let his instincts drive him? Tograb and touch and hold and taste anything he felt the urge to? The possibilities made hishead swim.

They would be letting themselves express things privately. He supposed it might be niceafter being alone for so long. He couldn’t fall in love again, nor consider letting himselfget married, but to deny his urges and desires would be denying the very thing that madehim human. Why torture himself? Is that what Lu would have wanted?

James crossed the room and took a seat next to Martha. “I don’t think any lady has everbeen that forward with me,” he spoke softly, his hot breath gently brushing through thesheer covering of her shoulders and causing her to shudder inwardly a little. “Though,” hecontinued, “I’d be lying if I said some part of me didn’t like it.”

I am glad to hear that,” Martha said quietly, her shyness taking hold now that it was clearthat he was interested in returning her affections. “I wouldn’t want to press My Lord intoa... type of relationship that he found unwanted.”

“Thank you, My Lady. I believe if anything I want what you are suggesting too much for acivil lord with a civil tongue.” He laughed, and so did Martha, shocked a little butintrigued by his insinuation.

James watched her play in admiration. Admiration in equal parts for the skill in which sheplayed the beautiful music and for her physical beauty. It had been so long since he hadbeen so close to a lady, and her presence alone already stirred things within him.

He would like very much to touch her hands, her wrists, but she was busy playing, and hedidn’t want to disrupt the music. He hesitated but decided instead to simply let his handsrest on the bench while she played.

Martha felt emboldened by their conversation and the Earl’s closeness, so she decided tobe a bit more playful. She slowly slid her leg down the bench so that it brushed the Earl’shand. The feeling of his touch sent jolts of sensation through her. Each time he wouldgently move his hand away, and she would do it again until he understood that it wasn’tan accident. Finally, he let the hand rest and allowed her to touch him for more than amoment.

“My Lord!” Martha gave a small faux gasp, “Don’t think that because I said we may skirtdecorum that you can suddenly be cheeky with me.”

“My Lady, I…” James began to stutter and searched for the right words to form anapology, yanking his hand away. He began to move down the bench in a panic.

“Lord Barristen, I speak in jest,” Martha said with a laugh and tapped the bench again forhim to slide closer.

“Oh, of… of course,” James said with an uncertain nod which made Martha laugh all overagain. She made up for her slightly mean joke by waiting for him to place his hand by herleg again before she began playing.

That same hand would eventually find its way to her knee and then her thigh. James, stillunsure of the boundaries of this style of relationship, moved no further. Instead, hesimply enjoyed the sensation of squeezing her thigh, pressing into to the fabric of herdress with his strong hand.

It was a good thing he went no further, but not because Martha found his touchunwelcome. She did, however, find it distracting, and if he had been too forward it wouldhave made playing very difficult.

Playing the piano, that is.

D

Chapter Ten

espite the agreement that the Lord and Lady had come to, not much morehappened that evening. They were able to find that comfortable ease that oftenaccompanied their socializing. That was one of the things that Martha enjoyed

right away about Lord Barristen, talking to him was surprisingly easy, even as the tensionmounted between them.

She was surprised at how content she was at the end of the night of piano music. Asimple night but pleasant. She had chosen to dress rather risqué in the hopes that itwould encourage him. Encourage him to do what, she wasn’t exactly sure. She didn’tknow what a passionate and loving gentleman did differently from the admittedlyunskilled advances of her former husband. The feeling she got from the Earl’s simpletouches on her leg already demonstrated a world of difference in sensation.

James really had been a perfect gentleman all night considering she had all but thrownherself at him. He did touch her, true, and he also allowed his gaze to linger over herexposed flesh as she played the piano. She could feel him looking at her each time hethought she wouldn’t notice. In any other circumstances, the scandal would have left herrepulsed. But for the first time in her life the idea of a gentleman looking at her withpossibly carnal interest was exciting.

She desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, to grasp his larger hands in hers andto feel his arms pull her closer. More than that, even if she wasn’t exactly sure what“more” meant. But no matter how forward she had managed to push herself with thisLord, she couldn't bring herself to initiate anything physical that night. It went againsteverything she was taught as ladylike, even more so than the rules she had alreadyflaunted.

So instead, much to her own chagrin, she spent the rest of their wonderful evening inagony. She sat and silently wished as hard as she could that each touch would lingerlonger and go farther. She didn’t have any particular touch in mind, just wanted to simplyfeel the strength of his fingers grasp her or even their touch on her skin. It got sounbearable her breath would hitch in her throat every time his hand would shift. Itseemed like each time his hand would begin to slide somewhere more intriguing, it wouldstop and move in another direction.

The next day, after her heart had slowed and her mind had cleared, she felt so foolish. Towish for something so scandalous, and to wish for it so desperately, she was ashamed.Martha couldn’t believe all the things she had said to Lord Barristen. More than once, sheforced herself to stop writing a letter to try and explain things as a terriblemisunderstanding, and she tore up more than one copy of the letter. She refused to letherself sabotage her chances with the Earl, no matter how embarrassed she felt now.

After some time, Martha instead started to draft plans for their next engagement. It wastrue that it was far too soon, but who else would be in their company to judge them? Sheknew enough of Lord Barristen’s reputation to know he was reclusive in his social habits,and the only member of society she saw with any regularity was her sister, who shehoped wouldn’t judge her harshly.

She paused, the scratching of her pencil slowing as she thought. Would it be possible forLord Barristen to think of her as too forward in this regard? After all, as far as she knew,he had not chosen to pursue any sort of courtship for years since his wife had passed.Perhaps she was after something he wasn’t interested in sharing, and he was too politeto say otherwise. Perhaps that was why he was slow to warm to her advances.

She chewed her lip in concern. Was this what infatuation was like? Rapid movementbetween highs and lows? She felt desperate, almost feverish. Questions fired rapidlythrough her head. Wouldn’t he have said something if he wasn’t interested? How couldsomeone as handsome as him be interested in her?

After another moment of indecision, she pressed onward with the letter. She may nothave been brave enough to initiate touch on her own, but she had been the onemanaging the conversation they were having. If that meant she would have to ask himdirectly about his thoughts on the matter, then so be it. Clearly, accepting his passive

silence was something that she could not reconcile within herself. She was done withstaying silent; she had enough of that in her old life.

Martha closed her eyes and let the anger pass. She wasn’t mad at the Earl. He wasprobably just as uncertain in all of this as she was, and she knew he wasn’t the source ofher anger. Far from it. With a deep breath, she folded the letter and rose to deliver it toLetty so the maid could pass it on.

What would be would be, and she would have to accept that. This thought was soothing,but it didn’t stop the butterflies from flitting around in her stomach for the rest of the day.

There were few people in James’ life who had ever called him foolish. The stable masterhad when he was nine, and he had almost gotten his head caved in while standingbehind a particularly skittish workhorse. His first solicitor had when he made some risky,if profitable, moves early in his career of financial independence. That was all Jamescould pull to memory.

But now, as he sat in the bathtub the morning after his lovely evening with LadyCarrington and watched the mirror slowly defog as the water grew cooler around him, hefelt like the biggest fool in all of England. The look he saw on his face said it all.

The Lady had told him what they could have in each other, asked him to sit next to her,and dressed so that her bare and exposed neck was only a hair's breadth away. And whathad he done in response? Absolutely nothing. Acted like a perfect gentleman the entireevening. And he could tell himself, again and again, that was what he was supposed todo, but he knew that was a lie. The lady had been very vulnerable to him, exposed awant, a need that he could understand more than anyone else in the world, and he hadheld back.

Was he not ready? This was the question that pulled and prodded in his mind as thewater went from lukewarm to barely tolerable. He knew that he had abandoned thepossibility of love; he could accept that. It wasn’t in the cards for him. But socializing withan attractive lady? Was that something that his heart would allow?

She was more than desirable; there was no doubt about that in James’ mind. Justthinking about her made his heartbeat quicken and his blood feel overly warm beneathhis skin. He thought the image of her in that low cut dress would stay with him for a verylong time. In fact, it was only the growing chill of the bathwater that kept it from havingmore of an effect on him now.

Then he felt like a fool all over again. He had wanted to touch her more. All night, he felthis hand straying, wanting to do more than simply feel the fabric of her skirt over thelovely softness of her thigh. To even caress the bare bend of her wrist as she playedwould have delighted him so much more. Had his cowardice simply beaten him?

“Is it cowardice to hesitate to climb on a horse when one hasn’t ridden several seasons?Is it fear that causes a scholar to hesitate to put his pen to paper on a subject he hasn’tstudied in many a year?” he reasoned with himself aloud. He found speaking his thoughtshelped him a great deal but was often too embarrassed to do it anywhere but private.

“No, to be uncertain due to a lack of practice is natural. You haven’t... socialized with alady in a long time. A very long time. Hesitation isn’t weakness; it's pragmatism.” he toldhimself.

Hearing him tell himself this out loud did soothe his worries, at least for a time and evenbolstered him to feel as if nothing were wrong. All of that, the pride and thedetermination, was immediately shattered when the letter from Lady Carrington arrivedlater that day. It was another invitation.

J

Chapter Eleven

ames was in a rather casual debate with his valet, Vickers, about what he wouldwear to Lady Carrington’s that night for dinner. He had been invited as a guest,and he was trying to find a discrete and polite way to insinuate that Victor shoulddress him more handsomely without giving himself away. The conversation was

proving to be patently unproductive when his daughter walked in to interrupt him, thoughshe was interrupting very little of consequence.

“That one,” Lady Amanda said, seeming to point at random to a reddish-brown burgundycoat. Vickers rolled his eyes and picked up the coat while his lord turned his attention tothe lady of the house. Amanda smirked as Victor took a moment to study the coat shehad selected behind her father’s back, holding it up to examine what the color might looklike on Lord Barristen.

“How are you this day, dear one?” her father asked with the gentle love she always felt inhis words.

“Absolutely wonderful, Papa. I heard you have been asked to dinner by Mar- by LadyCarrington,” Amanda said, catching herself before she slipped up in front of Vickers.

“You did? Wherever did you hear that?” James asked, genuinely curious as to which ofthe staff had informed her, so he might have a discussion with them on the topic ofgossiping about one's employer.

Amanda simply shook her head. “My lips are sealed.”

James laughed inwardly, not wanting to give his daughter any sort of positive reaction tothis behavior. Still, he couldn’t help but be amused. He wasn’t sure who had developedworse habits, his staff or his daughter, but they certainly didn’t discourage each other.

“Are you and Lady Carrington courting?” Amanda asked excitedly.

James felt his stomach twist a little. He definitely should have learned by now that hisdaughter would find out about anything long before he intended to discuss the topic withher. “Is that what you heard?”

“No, they just said you were going to dinner,” Amanda said nonchalantly.

“So where did you get the impression that Lady Carrington and I were courting?” Jameswas genuinely curious where the thought came from. Amanda was getting to the agewhere she would be able to put certain pieces of information together, but this would bethe first time she had leapt to that sort of conclusion alone.

Amanda was silent in the way that only secretive children are, like the answers are fillingthem to burst, and they want to let them out, but they know they can’t. She averted hergaze and shrugged her shoulders. Not very becoming of a young lady, but James didn’thave it in him to scold Amanda at the moment. He rarely ever did.

“In any event,” James continued, “I’m afraid the lady and I are not courting.”

“You aren’t?” Amanda asked earnestly, her voice dejected.

He shook his head. “We are just good friends.”

“Oh,” Amanda seemed bitterly disappointed, and it wasn’t hard for James to guess why.He didn’t want to give his daughter false hope. James never planned to remarry after all,but it still tore him up inside to see his daughter so sad.

“But,” he almost hesitated and then followed through, “she is also your good friend aswell as mine. Which means you will see her very often all the same.”

That did seem to cheer his daughter up quite quickly. “That’s true, Papa. You areabsolutely right.” She nodded enthusiastically, and James felt he had done enough of hisfatherly duty to return to the discussion of dinner dress.

James wasn’t a bad father, but he was on occasion an inattentive one. It was, in thisinstance, that he missed a crucial twinkle in his daughter’s eye. The look that AmandaWilliams had inherited from her mother, and that she often had while planning somethingmischievous.

“Lord Barristen is coming to dinner? The same Lord Barristen who insulted you in yourown manor? That Lord Barristen?” Emma balked. She didn’t balk often. It wasn’t a goodlook on her, but in private and when it was warranted with her sisters then she wouldbalk.

“He apologized. Did I not mention that to you?” Martha asked sheepishly.

“No, you didn’t. In fact, we haven’t talked much at all these last few days. You have beenso busy entertaining guests.” A look of realization crossed Emma’s face. “You have beenmeeting with him, haven’t you?!”

Martha didn’t try to hide her blushing from her sister. It wasn’t worth the effort. “And if Iwas? It is perfectly appropriate.”

Emma’s eyes were even wider than normal, which, with her spectacles, was sayingsomething. “Perfectly appropriate are hardly the words I would use to describe whatcould be happening here.”

“And what words would you use, sister dear?” Martha asked her, her tone pointed andchallenging, daring Emma to try and put her in her place.

Emma bit her tongue, not wishing to elaborate at risk of hurting her sister’s feelings. “Ithink it is perfectly reasonable as a lady in this house and as your sister to be informed ofthe comings and goings,” she said eventually, her tone softer.

Martha softened as well. She was defensive because she knew she was giving peoplesomething to talk about, and it upset her greatly. But her sister was not one of thosepeople.

“I’m sorry, Emma. I didn’t tell you about Lord Barristen because I was a bit ashamed. Wearen’t courting or anything, but I have been rather forward, and I didn’t want you to thinkless of me,” Martha confessed.

“Well,” Emma paused for a breath, and she let the anger go with it, “that isunderstandable, but I am afraid the path you chose wasn’t much better.”

“I realize that now,” Martha said with a nod. “Are you opposed to the lord joining us?”

Emma paced the room for a moment or two before responding. Martha wondered if hersister did this to make her suffer, as Emma was one to come to quick conclusions.

“He has been a gentleman with you?” Emma asked.

Perhaps too much of one, Martha thought to herself. “Of course,” she said aloud.

“And you are fond of him,” Emma asked, the skepticism in her tone more genuine thistime.

“I am almost as surprised as you are, but yes,” Martha affirmed.

“Then I suppose no harm can come of it,” Emma conceded.

Martha grinned widely before she hugged her sister. Martha was the least likely to huganyone of all the sisters, so it caught Emma a little off guard.

“Thank you,” She told her sister, and the emotion in her voice almost made Emma wellup as she returned the hug.

“Of course, dear, think nothing of it.” That was all Emma managed in return.

James spent the entire meal with misgivings. While Lady Carrington was delightful andtalkative, he found that her sister was much more focused on gaining his attention. Sheasked him all sorts of questions about his family and the work that he did and hisopinions of this lord or that lady. It was far from unpleasant but still not what he wouldfantasize about when he pictured dinner with Lady Carrington.

“Your cook certainly has a talent for preparing pheasant,” James said near the end of themeal. As he spoke, though, he found himself suddenly quiet, distracted by the feeling of aleg tracing up his own.

“I hope you aren’t finished,” Martha said with a polite smile. “Dessert of macaroons andwine has been prepared for us in the library.”

Martha’s demeanor didn’t give away the game she played, her foot gently running alonghis leg before it slid tauntingly up the inside of his thigh.

James was at his limit, unable to hold a conversation and be so distracted at the sametime. Thankfully, Emma proved to be unknowingly merciful in her timing.

“Not to be impolite,” Emma said with an apologetic tone, “but I am afraid I must decline.This day has proven taxing to me, and I am more than ready to retire. With your leave,Lord Barristen,” she gestured, and the Lord rose with a polite affirmation.

After Emma had taken her leave, it was but a moment before Martha had shown him tothe library. The lighting was discreet with few candles lit. Places were already set, andthere was a distinct and noticeable absence of her servants.

“My Lady.” James wasn’t uncomfortable per se but still wanted to make sure. “Is thissetting acceptable to you? I don’t want you to feel put upon.”

Lady Carrington noticeably stiffened, and James was instantly worried. He had offendedher, though he wasn’t sure how.

“My Lord, do you find me repulsive?” she said, her voice quavering.

“Excuse me, My Lady?” James asked, confused.

“Repulsive. Do you not want to be around me?” she asked again, more firmly.

“Quite the opposite, My Lady. I find your company more than delightful,” James assuredher, still very confused.

“Then why is it when I practically throw myself at you, you still hesitate. I can understandif you feel the need to pity the poor widowed woman whose husband was a fiend and acriminal, but there is no need for you to lie for my sake.” The pitch of her voice fluctuatedwildly as she struggled to keep her emotions in check.

“I... My Lady that is…” James struggled to find the right words. Emotional honesty was

not something that came easily to him. “It has been a long time since I have tried tointeract with a lady. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I am hesitant to err, to makemyself or both of us feel foolish. This has nothing to do with the situation regarding yourlate husband, of which I truly know very little.”

She searched his face, looking for the truth in his words. “You mean that, don’t you? Ithought that the affairs of my late husband were common knowledge.”

“Rumors often make whispers seem louder than they are,” he said, reassuring her.

“Then, if you don’t know, I must tell you,” she said promptly and firmly.

“There is no need for that, My Lady,” James all but insisted.

“For my sake then,” she insisted in return, “please, let me speak on the matter, My Lord.”She waited a moment for him to nod before continuing. “My husband was not... satisfiedwith our marriage. He had been a rake before, if a discrete one. Afterward we married,he found that I could not keep him occupied and sought a mistress for himself. Thewoman he wanted was my younger sister. Unfortunately for him, my sister becameengaged, so My Lord Husband decided that he would kidnap my sister’s betrothed in anattempt to pressure her into becoming his mistress.” She took a deep shaking breath, hervoice mixed with anger and sadness. “He was found out, though. When he attempted toflee by jumping into the river, he drowned, and I was left a widow.”

James didn’t hesitate to reach out and grasp her hand, squeezing it firmly. “I’m so sorry.You deserve so much more than that. I promise, as your friend and confidant, that I willnever let anything like that happen to you again, as long as I am by your side.” Jamescleared his throat, realizing he was swept up in his emotions. “If the lady would allow assuch, of course.

The look on Lady Carrington’s face could only be described as one of relief. “You speaklike it will be such a long arrangement,” she said with a smile. “You like to stay in mycompany that much?”

“Yes, yes, of course, My Lady, almost more than I care to admit,” he reassured her, histone urgent and compelling, insistent that she knew the truth of the matter.

“Will you do something for me then?” Her voice was still shaky, but she spoke more softlyas if the uncertainty had changed positions within her.

“Anything, My Lady. I am twice over now in your debt for a breach of conduct that hascaused you such distress.”

“Please, My Lord, I humbly request that you touch me,” she said, her voice even softerthis time as if all the embarrassment and shyness she had blocked came up in thatmoment.

T

Chapter Twelve

o Martha, it seemed like the words hung in the room, like they echoed off thelibrary shelves despite the fact that she had spoken them just barely loud enoughto be heard. There was a weight to them. Perhaps it was the weight of regret. As

much as Martha had been trying to run from the past, maybe it had finally caught up toher. Had she crossed that line?

James stood across from her for a long time, saying nothing. He seemed to be strugglingwith something. What to do next? Had she offended him so that he didn’t even knowwhat to say?

When he finally moved, it was so sudden that it actually made Martha jump in surprise.He crossed the library in three great strides and was upon her before she knew what washappening. Lord Barristen was so gentle with his daughter that it was easy to forget whatan intimidating figure he bore.

He pulled her close, and she found herself pressed against him, feeling the tautmusculature that strained his tailored clothing. His hands felt large, one completelyencompassing the small of her back. She was thankful for the support as her kneessuddenly felt very weak.

They were close, closer than they ever should have been. Their bodies tangled togetheras they clung to each other. Everything met but their lips, and that was glaringly obviousto the both of them, begged of them in each moment. Their lips were meant to meet, butthis last gesture was held back.

“I have wanted to hold you since we first met. I can’t explain it, but it is a burning need,”he told her, the earnest emotion in his voice overpowering the touches of shame mixed inwith it.

Martha tried to collect her thoughts. She was a widow, no blushing bride. This feltunbecoming of her, even if she couldn’t explain why. Witty, she had to try and be witty.

“Is it so surprising that I would be attractive enough to tempt you?” She tried to teasehim, but the tone was hindered by her trying to catch her breath.

He smiled at her quip, and she thought she was going to melt into his arms, but hecertainly felt firm enough to catch her if she fell.

“Take no offense, My Lady. I have known attractive ladies, but none have managed tolure me, even with the lack of fairer company in my life.” He looked away, and for amoment Martha was afraid she had spoiled the mood.

He returned to meet her gaze, and one of his hands left her hip to move to the side ofher face. He gently traced the curve of her cheek with the edge of his thumb. She felt ashiver travel up and down her spine. She was wise enough to not say it aloud, but atouch from her late husband had never made her feel this way.

His hand rested under her chin, and he gently lifted her face, so their eyes met. “My Lady,perchance your request to touch meant only my hands, my fingertips?”

“I… I believe that is what I meant, My Lord.” She felt her face burn crimson at hissuggestion that he might touch her with something else despite desperately wanting toknow more. Was she ready for something like that? Not enough to say so aloud.

“Of course. I apologize for presuming otherwise,” he said with a smile that wassurprisingly confident. “Still, they look so soft, it would be a shame not to feel for myself.”

Martha was about to ask what he meant when she felt the tip of one of his fingers tracealong her top lip then move to her bottom one slowly. His face was so concentrated as hedid so; it would have been amusing if it didn’t feel like her mind was outside her body,and her skin was aflame.

His hands were already dangerous in what they awakened in her, but then she felt thembegin to wander. To grip her tightly and pull her even closer. She shivered in anticipation,longing for him to touch her elsewhere.

Despite the fact that she knew where a gentleman’s hands would want to wander, eachnew brush and squeeze was a delightful surprise to her. James put on a gentle actbefore, but in each firm touch she could feel his lust. That delighted and excited her in away she never felt before.

“Touch me anywhere you want to. I am yours to explore,” she felt herself say in his ear,almost unable to believe that such heated words could be provoked from her lips.

Then his hand pressed over her skirt, flush to her leg, and slowly slid up to caress hertight buttocks. She let out a small moan of desire. This was how she wanted to betouched.

He suddenly pulled his hand away, and the spell was broken.

“I’m sorry,” he said. His grip loosened a little but tightened once again when he felt herstart to tip. He cleared his throat. “I... that was too far. I’m sorry; I should have controlledmyself.” He felt himself twist inside. He couldn’t stop now; this is what they both wanted.Why torture himself? This was a question he couldn’t answer but an impulse he wasforced to obey.

Martha’s own more delicate hand shot forward and grabbed his before he could fully pullit away.

“You did exactly what I asked you to do. And I liked it.” Her breaths were coming in hot,shallow gasps, and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She pulled his handback to her and placed her lips softly to his fingertips, kissing them.

They both were enraptured in the passion and pleasure of the moment when they weresuddenly startled. The grandfather clock in the library chimed the hour, the tolls slow andheavy, in stark contrast to the flight of both of their pulses. One, two, three, they bothcounted in their heads until the clock struck nine.

“It's late,” James said with extreme reluctance.

“My sister and the servants have retired. We will not be disturbed.” Martha was unsurewho she was trying to convince, him or her. Still, she didn’t want the night to end here,not this way. She pressed her form to him, almost desperate for his touch. Her chestheaved as she panted hot needful breaths, her heart slamming against the restraint ofher corset.

James looked hesitant again. His hands raised once more, so close she could feel theheat and pleasure his touched promised. At the last moment, though, he shook his head.

“As opportune as this may be, My Lady, unfortunately I know my daughter waits for me.She needs her father to come home before she can go to bed, and the longer I am gone,the worse it is for Miss Blake, who I am sure Amanda is causing no small amount oftrouble for already.” As he spoke, he gently released her from his grip. His fingersbrushed against her as his hands pull away. His reluctance gave her an odd mixture ofpride and comfort.

She reached out and grasped his hands in hers. She held them tightly, and he squeezedher hands reassuringly.

“I don’t want the night to end,” she admitted. What she couldn’t say was how much hehad excited her, tantalized her. She was almost angry at him for stopping now, but sheknew that it wasn’t right for her to hold that against him.

“Nor I,” he offered in return. “My Lady, I must ask something of you tonight, to affirmsomething for my own sake and conscience, if you will.” He took a hesitant breath. “Ienjoy your company, I truly do. But I loved once, and I do not think I can ever love again.I know we have discussed some of our circumstances, but I must know if you trulyunderstand this. If you wish for our relationship to become something more romantic ormarital, then we should go no further. Let us end it when there are no ill words orfeelings or regrets that we must live with.”

Martha had a choice to make, and it was one of the few with true consequences. Theworld of love is often broken down into black and white, right and wrong, but this is oneof life's great jests. There is no more complicated circumstance than love. To look intothe face of the man who held her heart in his hand and tell him the last thing either ofthem wanted to hear was simply not possible. He might as well have asked the lady toturn lead into gold or fly to the moon. No intelligence known to humankind could peerinto Martha’s soul, know its truth, and judge her wrongly for the choice she made in thatdesperate moment.

Unfortunately for Martha, the human soul is one of the only things more complicated thanlove, and hers was determined to keep some secrets even from her.

“Of course, I understand, Lord Barristen. Like I said,” she smiled and led him, first out thelibrary and then towards the entryway, “we have been deprived of caring and consideratecompany, both of us. We seek it out, as natural. But remarriage is rarely a natural thing. Iknow you do not seek it out, and I don’t seek it out either.” Something twinged insideher, and she ignored it. “I am just happy to have you in my company,” she said with aperfectly natural and engaging smile.

James had to ignore his own disappointment and accepted the exchange for the better.“Thank you for understanding, My Lady. I, too, am eager to continue our relationship as itstands.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Might I speak openly with you,My Lady?”

“I feel if we have anything, it is a candid stance on communication,” she laughed lightly.

“Well, Amanda’s mother, my late wife, she and I had a complicated relationship. We had

grown up knowing one another, and we certainly liked each other, but when we it cameto marriage, neither of us could say we were terribly interested in that course. Certainly,her parents were more determined, but I faced my fair share of stern encouragement aswell. So, we married one another.” James gave a moment for this to process this beforecontinuing. “The reason for my hesitation is that that comfortable acceptance... it becamelove. I loved without knowing it at first. That, despite my best efforts, love came and thenwas torn for me. So, if I seem a bit vigilant, that is the reason. I do not want to havesomething that cannot be held firm, that can be taken from me fickly. I do not want tofall in love again.”

“How was your wife taken from you?” Martha asked, her voice thick with emotion.

“A fire. We were traveling with Amanda, only a baby then, and Lady Barristen and shewere sleeping at an inn when the room caught fire.” He chocked before going on, “I couldonly save Amanda.” The Earl took a deep breath and tried to discretely wipe his face. “Iapologize, My Lady, I did not mean to turn the evening conversation to a topic so dire.”

Martha gently shook her head. “Life has been cruel to both of us in its own way. If youcan’t talk to me about it, then who else?” She smiled sadly. “I have no interests otherthan what I have stated, and, in the extremely unlikely event that my feelings change,you will be the first to know,” she said taking his hand in hers and offering a warm smile.

James appreciated the reassurance. He still felt as if he had brought the evening to apoor closing after it started so strongly. Before he could give his proper good eveningsand goodbyes, Martha glanced around to make sure they were alone, then she leaned inclose. James was taken aback, only partially relieved when she whispered to him insteadof doing what he had presumed she would do.

Her breath was hot against his ear, her voice alluring, a stark contrast to the comfortingvoice of before but not an unwanted one. “Worry not. I want you just as you are, MyLord. You have not deterred the fire in me. We will have another chance.” Her handdelicately drew along the crotch of his trousers, her fingertips just barely feeling the heatand form of his body, but it was enough to make her effect on him visible after the fact.

With her voice still hopping around in his brain like a hive of honeybees, James didn’t

realize that he was already outside the house in the dark. By the time he processed thewords she had spoken, she was long gone.

The words made him tingle with excitement and, ever so briefly, regret his decision incalling an end to the very pleasant evening.

James was in for an uncomfortable walk home, as her words still tingled in his ear.

F

Chapter Thirteen

ather and daughter sat on opposite ends of the table where they ate theirbreakfast. Eggs and rolls with marmalade for Amanda, and bacon, toast, andcoffee for the Lord. Miss Blake sat nearby, eating her own breakfast of warmed

oats while she waited for Amanda. Even though Amanda ate with gusto, it did not deterher from assailing her father with questions about dinner with her dear friend LadyCarrington.

She had done the same the night before, only her father had gently chided her that it waspast time she went to bed and assured her that he would tell her in the morning. As LordBarristen sipped at his coffee, he regretted not answering her questions when she wasmuch more tired.

“Papa, what did you eat? Was it good? Did you bring me back any? What did she wear?Was it pretty? Was it prettier than the dresses I own?” On and on the questions came, asif his daughter had no need for rest and simply saved the energy she didn’t use fortalking. Normally James would not be bothered in the least; in fact, he was probably agood part responsible for her voracious curiosity, but this morning the circumstances weredifferent.

Miss Blake tried again and again to curtail the young lady’s onslaught, to the point thatthe governess was becoming clearly irritated, her voice becoming stern. Before she hadthe chance to lose her temper, Lord Barristen held up a hand so that he could speak,which preempted Miss Blake and silenced his daughter.

“Dear one, I understand why you want to know all of the answers at once, but if youcould pace your questions out, it would be much easier for you to hear the answers,” the

Earl remarked to his daughter glibly.

“Papa!” Amanda cried, “Why won’t you tell me?!”

He smiled tiredly, “I had a wonderful evening with both Lady Carrington and her sister atdinner. They were both dressed exquisitely, though I lack the knowledge of dresses toconvey the details.” That was a lie that James felt guilty about. He couldn’t rememberwhat Lady Emma was wearing, but he remembered in great detail the purple dressfringed with white lace that Lady Carrington had worn to dinner. He also rememberedhow the fabric felt pressed against her body and the shape of her beneath it. He shookthe memory away, not wanting to dwell on that while trying to converse with hisdaughter.

“Wow,” Amanda said, not at all discouraged by her father’s lack of details. “I can’t waituntil I can host dinner parties with lots of pretty ladies.” James almost added “andgentlemen,” but then realized he still wanted it to be a good few years before Amandawas thinking in terms of courtship.

“Do you think we can have them over for dinner here?” his daughter asked eagerly. Thisdirectness caused Miss Blake to chide Amanda by whispering her name and shushing heronce more.

“I’m sure they would love to have dinner with us, Amanda. I’ll have to clear some time inmy schedule for just that.” James was partially surprised to be mirroring his daughter'seagerness.

He wanted to see more of Lady Carrington; there was no doubt about that. But when heawoke this morning, gone were the feelings of floating whimsy and in their place was ahard, heavy rock of shame with a touch of dread mixed in for good measure.

He was trying to fight it off. He frequently reminded himself that he had not pawed at herlike some beast. This was something they both wanted.

But what about his first wife? Was this honoring her memory? What would she say to himif she were here now?

“Amanda, don’t you think it’s time that you start your lessons?” James told his daughter,the comment more clearly directed at Miss Blake. He wanted to be alone now in thedining room with his thoughts.

“My Lord?”

James had allowed himself to become lost in thought so quickly he hadn’t realized that,while Amanda had run ahead to prepare her lessons, Miss Blake had stayed behind.

“Yes, Miss Blake? Is something the matter?” James began to worry that something wasamiss with his daughter that he had not noticed.

“I wanted to make sure everything was all right. You seem not quite yourself today,” shesaid and seemed a bit self-conscious and unsure of her words after she said them.

James nodded with understanding. “I appreciate your concern for my well-being, MissBlake. It certainly extends beyond the parameters of your employment, and. for that, youare commended, but I am well. I needed some time to mull over the morning and mybreakfast and thought it best that my daughter started early on her lessons.”

The governess seemed less than convinced. She hesitated to leave as if consideringsaying something else but followed up with, “I am glad to hear you are well, My Lord. Ido worry on occasion. I know that being a widowed father can be very tasking. I doeverything I can that my position allows for Amanda, to ease your burden... and hers ofcourse.”

“Of course,” James smiled pleasantly. He never doubted Miss Blake’s commitment to hisdaughter or the household but appreciated the reassurances of her diligence and loyalty.Some Lords took an extremely impersonal view of their relationship with their employees

and tenants, but James liked to imagine himself as much protector of Barristen asofficiant. James stood up. “Unfortunately, I must see to my duties myself, and you haveto see to my daughter. Again, I thank you, Miss Blake. If you have any need of me,please do not hesitate.”

“Thank you, My Lord,” Miss Blake said with a thin, professional smile, slightly bowed herhead, and strode out of the dining room.

James took another deep breath, paying little mind to the professional concerns of hisgoverness. He paid her to worry after all. He closed his eyes, letting his mind wanderback to his late wife.

“James, darling, you have always thought too much for your own good,” Her voice,Lucienne’s voice, echoed in his head almost too perfectly. He was almost scared he’dopen his eyes and find her sitting next to him. “When life hands you something sweet,you ask it the cost, my love. What sort of way is that to look at a gift? I swear,sometimes you can be so dense to spite yourself.”

James couldn't help but laugh out loud at the scolding he had conjured for himself.

Martha awoke the day after the fateful dinner surprisingly refreshed, considering howtumultuous her night had been. When she tried to fall asleep, she found herself tossingand turning restlessly. It was almost as if she could still feel the Earl’s strong, supportivetouch on her body, and this made it difficult to relax. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it didn’tsoothe her either. Quite the opposite, in fact; it made her feel very excited.

This excitement had followed her into her dreams. While there was little of definitivesubstance, little she could remember anyway, those lingering touches became muchstronger in the realm of her mind. He had been there too, touching her and caressing herin places the real James hadn’t dared.

“Hadn’t dared yet,” she told herself.

Would he accept such daring? She had asked him to touch her, this was true, but whathad she been expecting when she requested that of him? What would she have allowed?She didn’t know for sure, and in place of an answer was a small flicker of fear that wasquickly smothered completely by a rush of excitement.

Martha felt no more fear, and she reveled in this. There were touches of uncertainty,doubt, and apprehension. But the idea of letting Lord Barristen, a gentleman whorespected and honored her and was invested in her company alone, hold her and touchher made her absolutely giddy.

She missed him when he wasn’t there. As she dressed, she fantasized what it would belike to wake next to him, to begin her day with his charming smile, awakening next to hisfirm body.

Her cheeks flushed at the memory of what he had felt like through his clothes, hisbroadness, his musculature. She genuinely valued his kindness and company, but she hadto admit that the gentleman was a stunning example of masculine beauty, hewn fromfine stone.

She bit her lip and forced herself to finish her morning routine. She was unsuccessful inpushing him from her mind, but she accomplished what she needed to and started herday.

The problem, at the moment, was she now had little that was urgent enough to occupyher mind away from Lord Barristen. She found her mind drifting to him while etching,reading, even playing music. Especially when she played music. She had to stop becauseshe kept imagining the almost-touches from when they had sat on the bench and howgood it would have felt.

She would occasionally entertain the idea of inviting him over again but was forced todismiss it. She had already bent the rules on the proper amount of socializing in thisinstance. She had also bent the rules as far as proper socializing in general and knew thatthem both being widowed would only grant so much exception. Still, it was a struggle notto pen another letter to invite him over. She even had some of her staff search the home

for an item that Lord Barristen may have “forgotten” as an excuse to have him comeretrieve it, but that did not yield results.

Thus, the shock of her servants when they brought a message from Lord Barristen a fewdays later was understandable as she snatched it right from them in a very unladylikefashion. Only after she opened and read the invitation did she apologize to the footman.She sent him to retrieve her sister for her immediately afterward.

Emma arrived looking both flustered and perturbed. “What is it, Martha? The footmanlooked absolutely flustered. Is this something dire?”

“Not dire, sister. We’ve been invited to dinner at Barristen Manor, and we need toarrange a date,” Martha told her sister excitedly.

“We have? He was only just here the other night. I understand that he is close by, but hehas other matters to attend to as a Lord, I would surmise,” Emma said while she madewhat Martha felt was a judgmental expression.

“It is only proper to him to extend the gesture in return for ours, is it not?” Marthapouted, not liking her sister ruining the good mood the invitation had put her in.

“It is quite proper, in due time. You have seen him on multiple occasions recently,” Emmacautioned. “I have no issue with you spending time with the lord. I think he is a fine andupstanding gentleman, but people will start to talk if you aren’t careful.”

“Don’t people talk no matter what is done in any fashion? It seems to me that is what theton is good for,” Martha snapped.

“Maybe, but actions have consequences, regardless of if they are fair or just,” Emma saidwith a sigh.

“Are you saying you don’t want to go?” Martha finally asked straight out.

“No,” Emma huffed, understanding that she could do little to dissuade her sister. “No, Iwould like to go. I strongly suggest we request a date a little farther off. If not for yourstate, then for Lord Barristen’s. The gentleman may be smitten with you, but he still hasan Earldom to tend to.”

Martha was vexed. Outside her own desires, which had no merit in this conversation, shehad no reason to justify meeting sooner. As frustrated as she was, she penned a letterrequesting a date for two weeks from that one.

E

Chapter Fourteen

xamined from the outside, the plight that faced both the Lady of Carrington andthe Lord of Barristen for a whole fortnight would have seemed like a secrettragedy, a shadow that hung over both their hearts. In reality, if others had known

the real reason why the non-couple were so despondent, they would have, at best,traded jests at their expense or, at worse, ridiculed them. And while the pair’s behaviormight not be able to be labelled as “mature”, there does exist a specific term for thecondition they suffered: lovesickness.

No one in the household understood directly the reasoning for James' dreary mood, and,arguably, that was to his detriment. James was well loved amongst his staff andservants, and to see their lord struggling made their hearts heavy. So, for the duration,James was subject to many small gestures by the men and women around him to lightenhis mood.

All James longed to do was see Lady Carrington, so his mood wasn’t as dark as itappeared. This made the gestures both endearing and somewhat comical at first. Hisfavorite meals were served, and small gifts were given to Amanda to give to him. Theproblem was that his mood could not be elevated until the dinner came to fruition. Thus,the staff became more desperate to find something to help the Lord.

This meant one day he had a full table of out-of-season sweets waiting for him fordessert after dinner, and the next he had to listen to a rather lengthy, bawdy joke fromMr. Page. While he enjoyed the intent of these gestures, he made sure the cook, Nann,didn’t let Amanda fill up on the sweets, a full-time job if anyone asked her, and heinsisted that Mr. Page promise to never tell the joke again, much to the delivery man’samusement.

James could not deny that he felt cared for. He also could not deny, while not preciselythe involved parties’ intent, that the interesting week went by slightly faster for the sakeof his activities. James always felt confident that while Barristen Manor was a great manythings, it was never boring. This was very much how he liked it, despite how hissensibilities, or his claims, might sometimes indicate otherwise.

Martha’s week, on the other hand, was much more tumultuous. Emma was there for herdaily luncheon visit when she informed Martha that their brother and aunt would becoming to London for a visit.

“You say that with such a sense of foreboding,” Martha laughed lightly. “I will be happy tosee Benjamin and Aunt Barbara. Family is one of the few treasures I have left in thisworld.”

“You don’t understand. It would appear that you haven’t been as discrete as you thought.Benjamin is coming because he has been hearing... rumors about you behaving in amanner unbefitting a lady and a widow.” Emma chewed her bottom lip as she spoke, aterrible habit she had for expressing nervousness since when she was young.

Martha was dumbstruck. “How would he find out? We haven’t even socialized in public.Who could have told him?”

Emma chewed her lip a moment more before becoming defensive. “I can assure you thatI didn’t.”

Martha nodded, “I never suspected. That's what's so astounding. If not you, then whocould it have even been?”

“Perhaps one of the staff?” Emma ventured.

“Who among them would feel the need to inform our family?” Martha countered.

“It may not have been intentional. Gossip travels quickly and with little regard to truth ororigin. I cannot even rightly say what Benjamin has heard; all I know is that he isunhappy, and he is coming here to address it.”

Martha let out a long-frustrated sigh. “Why has he not written to me directly?”

“He had sent word in a letter, asking me about any rumors I had heard on the matter andmentioned coming in response. He may have drafted a letter for you but…” Emma trailedoff.

She didn’t need to finish her thought; both of them knew what Benjamin was like. Theyboth loved their brother dearly, but he had their father’s religious devotion with none ofthe empathy or wisdom that came with age. This made Benjamin seem rigid and uptight,even if he had the best of intentions. Chances were he purposely did not send a messageahead, intending to surprise Martha and not give her an opportunity to hide any of hersupposed misdeeds.

Not the kindest thing her brother had ever done, but Martha admitted to herself that, ifEmma hadn’t forewarned her, his plan might have worked exactly as intended.

“What do you intend to do?” Emma asked her.

“Nothing different,” Martha shrugged. “I have done nothing untoward for a lady in myposition. Benjamin may bluster and sputter but will have to learn to endure idle gossip.That is something that many ladies of the ton simply must endure,” Martha mused. “Willyou be here to endure our dearest brother's interrogation alongside me?”

“Me? Oh no, no, no, no. You will have your hands full with Benjamin enough as it is. I willmake myself scarce. Visit some friends in London, I think,” Emma said apologetically.

“Of course,” Martha sighed a bit despondent. She could hardly blame her sister for

wanting to avoid family confrontation. She didn’t particularly like the idea of being atodds with her brother, but that was what life was like with siblings sometimes.

She was wrong, though. Benjamin could do more than object.

“Brother! What a pleasant surprise!” Martha cried out at the sight of her brother in herfoyer, followed closely by her aunt. She wrapped her older brother in a tight hug andhoped the affection would make the accusation he intended to surprise her with muchmore difficult to deliver.

“Martha, dear sister,” he said as he delicately pulled her off of him. “Don’t forget aboutour dear Aunt.”

“Oh! Aunt Barbara! I was so excited I didn’t even see you come in behind Benjamin.” Sheturned and offered her aunt a hug which the older lady received warmly.

“Good to see you, too, my dear child,” Barbara said and held her niece tightly beforereleasing her.

Her aunt and brother had dressed oddly alike, but Martha would never draw attention toit. Benjamin dressed in drab blacks and greys out of humbleness, a mark on hisdedication to a life of piety. Still, it did little to help his gaunt features, developed frommore nights of study than sleep, and made him look a good deal older than he actuallywas. The early signs of greying also didn’t help, though Martha was wise enough to notbring that up.

On the other hand, Barbara dressed in deep dark reds and purples to compliment herpale complexion. From portraits, Martha knew she bore a striking resemblance to theirmother, but they were often juxtaposed because of her harder, sterner face and features.

Still, they made quite the pair, especially when set against the light and bright colors that

still accented Martha’s manse.

Martha turned back to her brother. “I am surprised you didn’t send word ahead of yourarrival. I would have made much more of an event of your visit.”

“I wouldn’t want any sort of special reception,” Benjamin tried to brush it off, a bit ofgruffness in his voice to push for the end of the conversation.

That was an insinuation Martha wasn’t keen on giving into. “Still, what do I owe thissurprise visit, as much of a pleasure as it is?” Martha looked from her brother to her auntwith feigned obliviousness. Her family felt the weight of awkwardness of the question,even without knowing that Martha was intentionally pressing them. Her question wasvery reasonable of course.

“Perhaps we should talk about it in private once we have a chance to sit down,” Benjaminsaid, partially conceding to the dower mood that was sure to follow the revealed truth oftheir visit.

“Is something wrong?” Martha asked.

“We will discuss it after I have had a chance to shake the road weariness from myself,”Benjamin reiterated more firmly.

Martha had the footmen assist him to his room before turning to her aunt. “Will you offerany explanation?” she asked flatly.

Aunt Barbara shook her head. “I will defer to your brother. While your father is away, thatis what is proper. He will want to talk with you first. Once that has been resolved, thenwe can discuss it as a family. Until then, I will retire to my room as well; I am afraid thetrip to London from the countryside has proved quite taxing.” As a new pair of footmencarried her aunt's luggage Martha heard her aunt mention. “I’m sure it will be fine dear;you know how your brother is.”

“So,” Benjamin cleared his throat and set down his teacup. This was the third time hehad cleared his throat in the last few minutes. Martha just sat and stared at him sternly,waiting for him to dare to suggest what he had come here to suggest. “I must admit,sister, I do not come to Mayfair on what I would consider pleasant terms.”

“And yet you refuse to elaborate on those terms,” Martha's tone was sharp. She had beenenjoying torturing her brother to some small degree, but now it was far too drawn out,and, frankly put, Martha was impatient. Watching her brother dally about the topic wasalmost insultingly frustrating.

“Fair enough. Suppose I need to come out and just say it.” Benjamin took a deep breath.“I have been hearing rumors regarding your behavior, Martha.”

Martha gave a firm nod before raising her chin in preparation to defend herself. “Whatsort of rumors, Benjamin? They were believable enough that you felt you had to come toLondon to confront me.” Martha took some small satisfaction as she watched her brothervisibly pale at her words.

“Well, it has come to my attention that you left mourning and…” he paused, swallowing abit before he allowed himself to continue speaking, “and that you have begun courting.”

“I see,” Martha said and tried to push him for more, “and what else did you hear?”

“Else?” Benjamin flipped from apologetically embarrassed to suspicious in a heartbeat.“What else was there to hear?”

He had heard what Martha had to assume was the most benign version of the rumors andstill chosen to rush down here. Martha didn’t know if she was more annoyed or amused ather brother’s backward sense of chivalry. Still, she had to quickly move past the emotion;she had to cover for herself quickly before her brother had more of a chance to becomesuspicious.

“No idea. You know how rumors are, Benjamin. A baby bird fallen from a nest canbecome a human baby falling from a balcony over the course of a few hours with theright people involved,” she told him with a smile she hoped came across as relaxed. “Iwill admit to you, though, that the rumor is at least partially true. Clearly, as you can tell,I have chosen to exit my mourning. Given the circumstance, I believe you can hardlyblame me for holding to the minimum time of mourning for a husband such as mine was.”

He half nodded as if considering what his judgment was on the matter for the first time,which Martha thought was somewhat likely. “I suppose that your husband was due nomore than what he was willing to put into your marriage, which was not measured veryhighly by most.”

“As far as courtship? That part of the rumor is not true. I don’t believe that I will be readyto remarry until a good amount more time has passed,” she assured her brother but wassurprised by the look on his face. He seemed disappointed, perhaps even a touchembarrassed. That was not a good sign.

“Is that so,” he managed without making eye contact with her, going back to sip his teaand finding the contents of the glass terribly interesting.

“Why are you averting your gaze, dear brother,” Martha spoke, face heating as she beganto grow intensely suspicious.

“Well,” he said, still not looking at her, “I had operated under the assumption that therumor was either all true or none of it was true.”

“And?” Martha asked, clearly not understanding still.

“And I made arrangements for you to meet with an acquaintance of mine. He is seeking awife, and I told him that if you were no longer mourning you could meet, perhaps, todiscuss the possibility of courtship.”

“You did what?” Martha asked quietly, clearly hoping she had misheard her brother.

“He is a dignified gentleman. One meeting doesn’t mean that you are betrothed,” herbrother assured her. “It is only proper for you to do as such and meeting with him willcertainly not hurt the standing of your family.”

“And you did not think to consult your beloved sister on the matter?” she challenged.

“It did not occur to me to question my sister’s interests in her family’s good name andgood standing.” He looked up from his tea sternly at her. “You are one of the familymembers with a title and lands, and I thought you would be keen on reflecting thebehavior of not only a lady in good standing but also a pious lady.” His tone was cool, thevoice that Benjamin used when he was in no mood to argue.

The rest of their tea was taken in angry tense silence.

As the maids cleaned up, Benjamin broke the silence. “It is of great importance to methat you find someone to take care of you. Father won’t be around forever and I... Iworry. This Lord is a personal friend of mine, someone I trust. If you meet with him andjust see what he is like, I would appreciate it very much.”

“It seems I have little choice in the matter,” Martha’s voice started as chilled as herbrother’s was moments before but warmed fairly quickly. “But pretending I do, it woulddo me little harm to extend this kindness to you and your friend, assuming that he is awell-behaved gentleman.”

Benjamin nodded, “I can assure you he will be nothing short of proper.”

J

Chapter Fifteen

ames felt terribly annoyed. He knew that he could delude himself about theetiquette, or lack thereof, of Lady Carrington’s and his behavior, but what he wasdoing right now was in no way defensible and thus quite inconvenient. Yet he feltcompelled, driven to go traipsing through a garden at night. Tripping over every

loose stone and stray root was a good way to get himself caught or worse, then howwould he explain himself? And all over some foolishness.

Write a letter. Come during the daytime. Any other sort of solution besides the absolutemadness he was committed to now. But he was driven. He had a question that heneeded an answer to.

He stood in the garden beneath the window of the master bedroom, unsure what to donext. He had planned to get her attention but hadn’t thought of how. He looked aroundand stooped to grab a handful of small stones. One by one he tossed them up, clackingthem lightly against the glass. It didn’t take long before he saw the silhouette of LadyCarrington set against the lamplight. She appeared only briefly before disappearing backinto the shadow of the room.

James briefly panicked. Had he offended her? Was this the action that crossed the line?Or perhaps, and a dreadful consequence he hadn’t considered until this moment, he hadmisjudged the position of her room? If he had instead woken a maid, he’d given her quitethe startle.

He was soon calmed when Lady Carrington appeared on the porch on the first floor infront of him. “What are you doing here?” She whispered. In her voice was worry, but hecould also hear a touch of curiosity, intrigue, and perhaps even excitement.

James had come there with confrontation in mind, perhaps even a bit of anger. But thatwashed away from him when he saw Lady Carrington shivering in her nightclothes only afew feet from him. It was a warm spring evening, so he had to assume her shivering haddifferent origins. He forced himself to ignore the allure of how scantily dressed she was;he had important questions.

“My Lady, I…” he hesitated, but pressed on, “I apologize for the unorthodox nature of thismeeting, but I noticed earlier today that you had a gentleman caller come, and I wantedto know the nature of such a meeting.” James felt the anger start to bubble a littlebeneath the surface again. He strode up to the side of the porch, so he had to lookdirectly up at her to speak. “I have no objections to the lady deciding to court, but I dobelieve I would not be comfortable with our arrangement if that were the case.”

James watched as a rapid-fire series of emotions flew across Lady Carrington’s face.Among them were primarily confusion and worry, but then her face settled into a differentmixture of emotions that James couldn’t place. Anger, most likely, and... amusement?

“Would it upset you, Lord Barristen, to know that another gentleman sought myattention?” she asked, the emotion in her voice as hard to place as was her face.

“U-upset?” This was not the response that James was expecting. “I don’t know aboutbeing upset,” he cleared his throat. “It just doesn’t strike me as appropriate,” he said butfound it puzzling that it felt like a lie. Why would he be upset?

“I see.” She sauntered over to the nearby stairs to meet him at his level. She didn’t letthe fact that he was more than a head taller than her take the wind out of her sails. “Andyou think of me in that fashion? Think that I would do something such as court anothergentleman while... socializing with you?” she asked while she stood right in front of him.

“Of course not, My Lady,” James said, waving a nervous dismissive hand. “But how couldI assume anything but what my eyes tell me? Is it so inappropriate of me to requireanswers of you?” James could hardly form a sentence, his words trailing off. He wassuddenly very aware of how close she was, wearing only her nightclothes. The low cut of

her clothes made him feel warm under the collar, and they were far more revealing thananything he had seen her in before.

“So, you think of me as a proper lady?” she asked coyly. “You don’t think I would ever doanything scandalous?” She was leaning closer now, but this time James held his ground,when he could take advantage of their solitude.

James could only shake his head, baffled at this turn of events.

She reached out, grabbed his hand in both of hers, and brought it to her chest, just belowthe neck. She pushed his large hand to the soft skin just below her collar bone. Jamescould feel her heart race beneath her chest and suddenly became aware that his ownbeat just as quickly.

“Are you sure I am as well behaved as you think I am?” Her voice was nothing but aheated whisper in the cool quiet night.

At the touch of the hot, eager flesh beneath his fingertips, James felt almost all of hishesitation and inhibition dissipate. Only the barest thread held him back now. “I don’tknow what you are playing at, My Lady, but it is a dangerous game,” he told her, and heswore he felt her heart skip a beat.

Though her breath hitched ever so gently, eventually it became a series of quiet giggles.The giggles threatened to grow louder as she curled against him. James was tooconfused about the shift to enjoy the feeling of her. “My Lord, the gentleman you sawwas my brother.”

James gasped, “You jest at my expense, My Lady?!”

“I do, since you jumped to such an outrageous conclusion,” she asserted.

James gaped down at her then closed his mouth and nodded. “That... is fair, My Lady.Should I apologize?” James asked, unsure if he had offended or where exactly in thisfairly complicated situation he had trespassed.

“I suppose you should, but I don’t want you to. Instead, there is something else I wantyou to do, to make it up to me,” Lady Carrington said while looking up at him.

“What's that?” James asked, breath hitched. She had been taunting him this night,tempting him to the point of agony. Each of her previous requests had been moretantalizing than the last, and now he waited eagerly to hear what she wanted of him.

“Would you call me by my name?” she said, resisting the urge to turn her face away, butshe could tell by how he looked at her that she was beet red. “Just in private of course,”she added quickly as if it wasn’t a given.

“I will,” he said with a gentle smile, “if you are willing to accept a condition of my own,”

“Hm, and I thought this was supposed to be an apologetic gesture,” she teased, though itlacked some of its teeth due to her clearly embarrassed expression. “But I want to knowall the same, what is your condition?”

“I want you to return the gesture. Would you be willing to do that for me, Martha?” Jamesasked her, and he swore he could feel her heart beating rapidly just from her back beingpressed against his hand.

“I think I can do that, James. In fact, I think I would enjoy doing that,” she said with agentle sleepy smile.

When his hands gently, but firmly, grasped on her shoulders, he turned her to face him,and she suddenly felt very awake.

“Martha, I want to kiss you,” James said, a statement and a question all in one.

Martha didn’t hesitate to respond, “I would not deny you, James.”

He pulled her close and kissed her. It wasn’t graceful, per se, but that wasn’t what Marthawanted from it. It was strong and full of desire and passion. Martha could feel his want inhis kiss, and that is what she wanted most of all. She wanted to know she was wanted,and, in that kiss, she had never felt more wanted in her life.

The thing that was, and this was so strong that it almost frightened Martha, she wantedhim just as much.

James’ hands sought out more and more of her, wanting to pull her as close as possible,to feel her quivering, her warmth, to feel one with her as they shared this kiss. Heneeded her, wanted her, felt himself grow drunk off her closeness, and only wanted todrift away in that feeling.

That first kiss would not be the best kiss they ever shared. It would be memorable in thatit was the first they shared, but it could be easily outdone if they were tempted to tryagain. And they were very tempted, the both of them. So tempted that they tried againas soon as the first kiss ended, and then again for a third attempt. Both attempts werealso extremely enjoyable, but they felt pressed to continue to outdo themselves.

James left her lips and traced down the side of her neck, tasting her skin for the first timeand wanting more of her.

Martha gasped as she felt his lips have their way with the sensitive skin of her neck. Shefought the urge to twist in his grasp and double fought the urge to vocalize her desire.She bit her tongue quite hard to keep herself quiet, but she wasn’t as successful as shewished.

James kept eliciting more and more eager responses from her. Every time she thought

she knew what he was going to do next, he would surprise her with a light bite or a softkiss, moving slowly downward.

His lips traced the dangerous edges of her nightdress, his strong hands plucking at thethin fabric to caress the flesh beneath. Martha wanted so much more, but she knew, ifshe let this go on, she would let him undress her right here in the garden. There was littlestopping him in both fabric and willpower.

“I don’t want to stop,” she assured him breathlessly, “but out here, who knows who couldcatch us. Even at this hour…” She trailed off, clearly reluctant.

“And that gives you pause?” he teased, his lips and his teeth still dallying on her neckbefore he gently pulled away.

“We will have time again.” He smiled boldly, more boldly than Martha had seen yet, andshe liked it.

He reluctantly pulled them apart and led her to the stairs but stopped before moving upthem, not wanting to get caught so close to the manse.

“I wish you a wonderful night, Martha,” he told her and trailed his touch down her arm togently squeeze her hand. She wouldn't let go; instead, she held him there.

“A moment,” she said, “I do have a small confession. It was against my will, but mybrother heard a rumor that I may be courting since my mourning period has ended. Hehas arranged for me to have lunch with a gentleman.”

“Ah,” he said and thought briefly but seemed unbothered. “We must sometimes do thingsin accordance with our station. You wish to continue our arrangement all the same?”

“I do,” she nodded with a smile.

“I’m glad. Then I won’t be deterred if you must meet with the occasional gentleman toappease your family.” He gave her hand another reassuring squeeze.

Neither of them gave much thought to the amount of commitment they had made to theirnon-commitment and were happy to not dwell on this minor detail.

Martha watched Lord Barristen sink into the darkness of the garden, but before he coulddisappear completely, he stopped and turned back to face her.

“Out of curiosity, who is the gentleman that you will be having lunch with?” he asked, andshe sensed only genuine curiosity, no malice or suspicion.

“The Earl of Wyldwen, I believe. I must admit I had not heard of the gentleman beforemy brother told me of him.”

She heard a series of small snickers from the darkness. James was laughing.

“What? What is so funny?”

“Nothing, My Lady, nothing. I am simply familiar with the lord in question. You are in for avery interesting lunch; I can assure you that much. Have a good night.”

And with the fading of soft footsteps, Martha was left in the dark garden with her fadinglamp, the night chill where a warm body had been moments before, and her thoughts.

James' comment had piqued her curiosity, to be certain, and it dwelled on her mind asshe made her way back to her room. Her body, however, was extremely content in thememory of the strong warm body that surrounded her only moments before, and she fellback asleep as soon as she lay back down.

She slept very well that night.

“V

Chapter Sixteen

iscount Richard Toddle of Wyldwen,” the footman at the door announced with thearrival of Martha’s gentleman caller. Of course, his arrival had been known for more thana quarter-hour now, but such were the steps that must be taken when a lady wasmeeting a gentleman for the first time in her own home.

Martha was standing as Lord Wyldwen entered and bowed. It was the first time she sawthe gentleman, and she was not unimpressed but not impressed either. He was ofaverage build with dark hair and an innocent look in his eyes. He wasn’t younger thanher, but he had this air about him that carried a vague sense of youth, and she couldn’tquite place why.

“My Lord,” she said as she swept the skirt towards her ankles and dipped her head, “I amLady Martha Worter, Baroness of Carrington.”

“A pleasure to meet you, My Lady,” Lord Wyldwen said as he hesitantly crossed theatrium where they were taking their light lunch.

“Likewise, My Lord.” Martha gave him a light smile. “I must admit, I am surprised thatthis is the first time we are meeting. Even though I resided away from London for most ofmy marriage, I still thought I had a fair knowledge of high society and its members.”

“Ah, well,” he flushed and frowned slightly, “that makes a lot of sense. I am assumingyour brother did not inform you of my, um, unique circumstances in that regard. Thatmakes sense, he would consider it impolite to do that. He would probably be right.”

Lord Wyldwen punctuated his last sentence with a shrug, and it was then that Marthafigured out where the air of youth came from. His movements lacked minute grace andheld an awkwardness that most gentlemen had weaned out of them when they were stillyoung. How strange.

“I don’t want to pry,” Martha assured him, though she was desperately curious.

“Best to get it out of the way, for I am sure it will become overtly obvious rather quickly,”he sighed. “Rest assured my reluctance doesn’t come from having to tell you the story,My Lady. It is simply a story I have told many times the last few months, and I tire of itsrepetition.”

Martha was surprised at the directness and honesty of the statement, and it alsoreinforced her assessment that this gentleman was unfamiliar with the ton. As much asshe admired the directness, she knew how inappropriate it was. She was going to assurehim again, but he pressed on, undeterred.

“You see, the title of Count of Wyldwen was held by one of my cousins, and lastChristmas they decided to host a wedding at Wyldwen manor. They invited much of thewhole family. I, however, am a few steps removed from them though still related byblood. My great grandmother married into the family by some means, and I have beensort of tucked away in an apartment in London. Black sheep and all that.”

“Now I am sure you were more important than that,” Martha said with a polite smile.

“No, I wasn’t, but I appreciate your effort at kindness, My Lady. The thing is, they hadspecial seating arranged just for the family on the balcony. The balcony, however, wasnot as well kept as they liked to believe, and the weight of the entire family caused it tocollapse…” Lord Wyrdwen clucked his tongue, “Seems I was the only family member leftto take the title.”

Martha blinked in disbelief, “Please don’t take offense to this My Lord, but you are inearnest? You don’t speak in jest?”

“I am afraid not. The circumstances of my inheritance are incredibly bleak,” he admitted.He examined the look on her face. “I apologize if that is too direct. Though I was raisedwith some sense of decorum and knowledge of proper manners, I was not raised in highsociety itself. I feel very much like a fish trying to climb a tree.”

Martha nodded awkwardly, completely unsure what to say to the dower gentleman. Aftera moment, she tried to grasp at any conversation she could dredge up. “And now... youwish to marry?”

He nodded. “I know that to be the proper course of action for a gentleman in my standingto take. I knew your brother from our studies and was lamenting my utter uncertainty ofthis situation, and he suggested I meet you.”

Martha bit her tongue, saving a few choice words for her brother later. She pitied thispoor gentleman, but the last thing he needed right now was to get married to a widowedlady. He would be even more outside his realm of experience. It was reasonably safe tothink that he would have little concept of how she was supposed to behave.

That was when an idea struck Martha. Not one wholly malicious, but one that was not inthe best of taste either. Still, it would probably be wise to nip this whole situation right inthe bud.

She just hoped the idea didn’t backfire.

“You said that you didn’t socialize in high society before your inheritance of the title, MyLord? So, you are fairly inexperienced in the realm of socializing?” Martha prodded gently.

Lord Wyldwen nodded with that same forlorn look. “I was provided for by my distantfamily, but my perceived lack of status meant they wanted me to be as private aspossible. I rarely socialized outside of the occasional family event.”

“Well, if that is the case, I am surprised that my brother would be so keen on having you

meet with me,” Martha said nonchalantly.

“Excuse me, My Lady?” The Lord looked confused.

“Well, he informed you of my circumstances?” she questioned.

“He had only informed me that you were widowed. Was there more to it than that?” heasked with uncertainty.

“Not in this context, not particularly. I am just surprised my brother thought that it was awise move, to have you consider courting a formerly married lady,” she said with a sweetsmile. She felt a little bad because this poor gentleman did not know the trap he waswandering into, and even if he did, she knew he had no defense for it.

“I am not, um, exactly clear to your meaning, but I can assure you that your previousmarriage doesn’t bother me. I don’t believe that would make you less of a suitableprospect for a wife,” he told her, a faint trace of worry crept into his voice.

“No, I didn’t assume you felt like that. I just mean…” Martha smiled a little wider. “Well, Iwas married, so my expectations of a husband might be a little higher than you areprepared for,” she said gently.

His confusion didn’t lessen but shifted a little as he tried to sort out her meaning. “I mayhave never been married, but I don’t think I would be an improper husband.” His browscrunched unsure if she was insulting him.

“Oh no, My Lord, not improper at all, just a little inexperienced.” This time she arched aneyebrow to punctuate her sentence.

Lord Wyldwen continued to stare at her with a blank look in his eyes. She sighedinternally. She had been prepared to elaborate slightly in this ruse, but she hadn’t

anticipated he would be this hard to get through to. She wasn’t embarrassed enough tobreak off the plan yet, but she was growing concerned.

“My Lord, I was married. A husband and wife have certain responsibilities to one another.I am used to having my needs as a wife met to a certain degree in proficiency.” This wasa lie, but the goal was to scare this Lord away, not open up to him. “A proficiency that Ido not think is wholly incorrect for me to assume you are unfamiliar with, given thecircumstances.” She stressed each word to make sure that her message was as direct aspossible.

She watched the slow realization down in his face. The realization became shock, andthen they sat in silence, his expression unchanging. At first, Martha felt a little bad, butthe longer the silence went on the more comical it became to her. Was this gentlemanreally so terrified by what she was insinuating? Maybe he really was too inexperienced forher.

“My Lady,” he began finally and immediately stumbled, searching for the words thatwould lead him to the end of a coherent sentence. “I thought that perhaps... well what Iimagined was…” He really was lost, the poor gentleman. Martha would have sworn shecould measure time by the slow rise of red spreading up through the gentleman’s face ashe stammered.

“You thought what?” Martha knew this was her time to deal the final blow if she wantedto scare him away for good, and although she felt some pity, she couldn’t help but enjoyteasing this gentleman who had been sent to her expecting a timid, doe-eyed lady. “Mydays of being a blushing court-lady have passed, My Lord. I am looking for a gentlemanwho will keep me content.” She leaned forward, a predatory note in her tone as sherested her elbows on her knees and rested her chin in the palms of her hands and eyedhim like a hungry cat. “Do you think you can keep me happy, Lord Wyldwen?”

She would swear later that the gentleman leapt from his seat and walked quickly over tothe door without a word, somehow pale and bright red at the same time, never to beheard from by a member of her family again. That was despite multiple attempts by herbrother to get in touch with the Lord about how the meeting went.

Letty would later testify that other servants had told her that the gentleman had politely,if quickly, begged her pardon and departed in the middle of tea, though she didn’t tellthat version to people often, as she felt Lady Carrington’s better captured the spirit ofwhat the young Lord wanted to do rather than what he actually did.

In later tellings, Benjamin declined to discuss the matter at all and would become quiteperturbed if he was pressed for details about how the Count of Wyrdwen was fairing.

J

Chapter Seventeen

ames kept a sharp eye on Martha’s home the day that another unfamiliar carriagepulled up. This time he felt slightly different from before. He did know who was inthe carriage this time, and he knew for sure what their intent with the lady was.He wasn’t nearly as bothered as before; his meeting the other night with Martha

had reassured him.

Still, he tried to push the whole idea out of his mind. He thought that his mind had beenwandering to the lady of that home far too often for his own comfort. He thought himselfa gentleman with more than a small amount of self-control. He never felt so gripped bytemptation as when he thought of Martha. Whenever he pictured her in his mind, hecould feel his heart begin to thump in his chest. Waiting the two weeks before had beentorturous, but he was certain that the remaining week would be utter agony.

As he turned to go back to his office, off to fail to find something to distract his mind, hespotted a figure moving quickly to the waiting carriage. The figure seemed to scramblehurriedly. James worried for a moment before he became far too amused trying toimagine what the lady did to scare the gentleman off.

Martha managed to send word to James only just before the night of their dinner arrived.She had originally planned on the dinner being just the two of them, servantsnotwithstanding, and even had gotten Emma to agree to let them have some privacy. Butnow her brother and aunt insisted on staying. Martha’s message then went on to stronglysuggest that it might cause more problems for James to reschedule.

He could only assume that she had brought it up to her family as an excuse for why they

might want to leave. Canceling the dinner now could look bad on Martha’s part. He alsodeduced that if he had gotten this message hours before dinner, then Martha must havetried everything she could think of before conceding.

This is why James found himself sitting with the living matron of Martha’s family, one MissBarbara Johnson, and next to her brother, Mr. Benjamin Bradford. While he had felt aslight discomfort when dining with Emma, the oldest Bradford sister was really delightfulcompany in her own right, that feeling was many times more compounded this timearound.

Miss Johnson was moderately pleasant, even paying him the occasional complimentwithin the rounds of traditional small talk, but he couldn’t help but feel he was beingweighed and measured.

Benjamin, on the other hand, was much cooler, if not crossing the line into the outrightcold. Given the circumstances, James could only presume it was because this gentlemandidn’t know James’ intentions with Lady Carrington. It was only natural for a brother tofeel defensive of his sister.

As if the thought summoned the words from Mr. Bradford’s mouth, the words manifestedthat very moment. Though it was much more likely Benjamin was taking advantage of alull in the conversation, James couldn’t help but feel a sense of foreboding.

“I am afraid I must ask, Lord Barristen, and I pray you not find it too improper of me, butwhat are your intentions with my sister precisely?” His tone was smooth and polite, butthe words themselves packed a wallop. James was already uneasy, and thus his defensesallowed him to avoid reacting. Martha, on the other hand, had just barely managed tosuppress choking on the wine she had been sipping. Aunt Barbara didn’t even bat an eye,completely unphased by the question, though there was no way she could have seensuch a breach of decorum coming.

James watched Martha try to collect herself to find the words to reprimand her brother,but James held up his hand gently. He wanted to address the gentleman directly, andMartha gave a slight nod in understanding.

“I take it Lady Carrington made it quite clear to you that we aren’t pursuing a romanticrelationship?” James asked with a polite smile.

“She did, which is what I cannot understand. What does a gentleman such as yourselfhave to gain from seeking the company of a widowed lady?” Benjamin’s tone was stillcold and became terser. “Surely there are clubs full of gentlemen that would suit yourmore platonic needs?”

James thought of several cutting retorts, particularly irked that this man thought so littleof his sister's company that he felt only those with ill intent would seek it out. But Jamesallowed himself to calm a moment before he answered.

“Speaking frankly, Mr. Bradford, I found that your sister and I have something in commonthat we don’t share with many others. You see, I was widowed too.” James didn’t want togive Benjamin an opportunity to respond. He didn’t want him to apologize; that mighthave embarrassed him, and that wasn’t what James was setting out to do. So, Jamesspoke on, “My wife died long ago, long before your sister lost her husband, but I felt Icould offer a bit of solace and experience on the matter as it is an unfortunate one.”

There was a long pause, and James swore that Martha turned every shade of white hehad ever seen before anyone spoke again.

Benjamin spoke first, “I see. That was quite kind of you to offer to reopen your owntragedy for the sake of my sister’s healing. I am afraid that explanation makes the natureof my question especially unbecoming.” He flushed but clearly didn’t want to apologize.

That was fine with James; he could understand this man’s defensive reaction and whereits roots were planted.

“We are both reasonable gentlemen. I understand why you felt the need to ask. I do notintend to bear you a grudge or ill-will,” he assured Benjamin with a smile and a casualwave which was met with a reluctant and painful smile in return.

The remainder of dinner was somewhat more awkward. James was almost relieved whenthe meal ended early, just a short time before dusk, and all three family membersescorted him to the foyer to see him off. He collected his coat and wished everyone agood night. It was only when he finally made his way outside, prepared to make the shortwalk to his estate, that he found a crumpled note in his pocket.

It had only three words on it: “Maze after dusk.”

M

Chapter Eighteen

artha felt her feet carry her faster and faster to the very back of the garden.

Dinner had been everything short of a disaster, and Martha was sure she would have todeal with the consequences of it all later, but she had been saved for the time being. Herbrother had been so humiliated that he had retired for the evening immediately afterdinner, and it was easy to slip away from her aunt as the older lady much preferred herown company.

She was thankful she had the forethought to have Letty slip the note into the pocket ofthe Earl while his coat was hanging.

At the very end of the garden was an older and unattended hedge maze. Mazes hadfallen out of style in recent years, and Martha and the gardener had simply not gottenaround to deciding what would go in its place. Martha had little motivation to replace it,however, as she was secretly fond of the maze. It twisted and overgrown now, thenatural growth providing an air of mystery and beauty that more carefully crafted hedgemazes lacked.

This time her excitement of exploring the maze wasn’t because of its hidden wildness butbecause of what awaited her inside. The note had been small and non-specific, so shewasn’t sure where James might be. She simply started wandering. It did not occur to heruntil she was sufficiently entrenched in the winding pathways that he might not havefound the note at all. She dismissed the thought, though, for that would be far toodisappointing.

After less than a handful of moments, she could already feel herself growing impatient,and she started to call out to him. “James!” Her voice was both a whisper and a shout,and she wasn’t sure how helpful that it was to either hiding or finding James.

“Martha,” the hoarse whisper was sudden and made her jump slightly, covering hermouth to stifle a squeak. She didn’t see anyone in front or behind her, and she wasconfused for a moment before she heard her name whispered again and found himlooking at her through a hole in the foliage.

“James, oh my, you gave me quite a fright,” Martha panted and placed her hand over herheart.

“My apologies.” With a stiff arm he pushed the unattended hedge aside and walked overthe planter, so they stood side by side.

“That’s cheating,” Martha giggled.

“I like to think of it as assertive determination,” James said confidently and traced fingersaffectionately over her side.

Martha became suddenly very aware this was the first time that they were completelyalone with virtually no chance of being discovered. Her heart thudded in her chest, butshe didn’t feel afraid. In fact, the realization made her want to press against him all themore. Still, she hesitated. Not from apprehension, no, but from anticipation. Like bitinginto an especially crisp apple. One knows the sweetness will be there in just a moment,and to fully appreciate it one must know its absence a moment longer.

“I’m glad you came,” Martha said breathily, feeling slightly winded despite the short walk.

“I struggle to think of what could have kept me away,” James said with a smirk.

“My Lord, I didn’t realize you were so drawn to me?” Martha said coyly as she camecloser.

“An unfortunate malady, I must admit. Sitting so close at dinner and being unable toreach out was its own type of agony.” His fingers traced over the edges of her clothes ashe spoke, and he tugged at her gently, willing her to come closer.

They may have moved at the same time, or one of them may have moved first; it washard to say especially when it didn’t matter to either of them. All they wanted was eachother. They kissed, passionately, the sweet embrace of their lips not calming their needs.All it did was fan the flames and cause them to burn away at the couple’s reason.

Martha felt James' hands tug apart the buttons that secured her pelisse and smiled intothe kiss. She had forgotten to tell him the surprise she had in store for him, though, shesupposed that it was a much better surprise now.

She had worn only her nightdress beneath her pelisse. In the light, it would have beenfairly obvious, but in the dark of the garden, James would only be able to tell once he hadtouched her. What he expected was the modest half dress she had worn to dinnerreinforced by her corset beneath. Instead, his warm firm hand gripped her hip with onlythe thin sheer fabric separating her skin from his touch. She shivered in delight andsmiled even wider in the dark when she heard his breath catch in his throat.

“You aren’t dressed!” he whispered as excitement and surprise wrestled for control of hisvoice.

“Should I be? Are we going somewhere?” Martha asked innocently.

“Tart.” She felt his hand slowly slide down her side, and she was forced to bite her lip toremain quiet. In truth, the small touch was enough to set her aflame, especially with howclose he was to touching her bare skin.

So close.

Then, with the bravery she would soon come to expect from her gentleman friend, hishand slid up to her chest. The hesitation that had seeded their earlier relationship wasgone now. He knew what he wanted, knew she knew what she wanted. He cupped herbreast in his hand, gently squeezing the soft and sensitive flesh.

The touch, the hidden taboo, the chilled night air just short of touching her bare skin, allthese things were pushing Martha to an edge she had only just discovered. She didn’tknow the passions of the body could feel this good, and they had barely even brushed thesurface of what she had experienced with her husband. There was so much more toexplore, and Martha wanted it all. Wanted to know how good it was all supposed to feeland let James show her over and over.

She pushed herself into his touch and dug her finger into his back to pull herself evencloser to him. James kissed her again and again, more roughly and needily, and Marthawas surprised at how much it excited her. She never imagined being able to reciprocatethis need, this want, but she knew she wanted James as much as he wanted her.

When they broke their kiss, Martha felt her breaths coming in long shudders, puffing inthe cool spring air. His lips had moved to her neck; his one hand was still firmly on herchest. She felt his thumb rub the soft fabric of her nightclothes over the sensitive flesh ofher nipple.

“Oh James, I, Oh my I…” Martha was unable to grasp her thoughts as they woundthrough her head too quickly. She was feeling so much at once that it was hard tounderstand everything that was happening.

There was a long moment of bliss before she realized that James had sunk to his knees inthe moist rich earth of the garden. She worried for a brief, silly moment that he wouldbecome soiled, but almost every thought left her head as he began to kiss up the insideof her leg and thigh.

“I want to do something for you,” James said softly. “Something to you,” he added hotly.

This was something that her former husband had never done, and, frankly, Martha had noidea what to expect. She was nervous but not frightened. She trusted that James wouldnever hurt her.

She felt his lips tracing higher and higher up her legs, his strong grasping handssqueezing her and pushing the small amount of fabric out of the way. Eventually his lipscame to a place she never expected, and it took much of her willpower not to cry out.

“James, oh my, I’ve… I’ve never felt anything like that before.” Her finger swept throughthe soft dark hair on top of his head, feeling its gentle rocking motion as he moved withher.

She was shocked, not just by the act alone but by the pleasure it brought her. Pleasure inbroad sweeping waves would mount and overlap one another. She could feel his lips,tongue, and fingertips trace the hidden intimate regions beneath her skirt with a sharedeagerness and gentleness that her only other partner had lacked.

“Don’t stop, James.” Her fingertips dug into the muscles of his shoulders. “I don’t everwant you to stop.”

He made her feel incredible, and each sensation as he licked her, kissed her, and touchedher was the most amazing she had ever felt. The touch would be quickly outdone by thenext.

“James I- I, I…” I love you was what she wanted to say, but the words didn’t come. Notfor the sake of hesitation but due to the inability to command her body any longer. Thepleasure had locked her up and hidden her rational mind away from her body.

The finale was another thing she could not have anticipated. She had this sense that thepleasure was all building to something but never understood what until that momentwhen James pushed her past the precipice. The feeling was beyond description, despiteMartha’s rather vocal attempts to do such.

She placed her hands gently on James’ shoulders, using him to support her as her legshad grown weak.

James pulled away immediately. “Are you okay?” he asked gently, the fire that had beenin him moments ago cooled by concern for the lady he cared for.

“I’m fine. More than fine…” she assured him and planted several kisses on his cheek andalong his jawline as she pulled him up to her. She rested in his arms, and they held eachother in the long, sweet darkness of the maze. “Thank you,” she whispered while tuckedagainst his strong chest.

It was in the dark that Martha realized how foolish she had been. She tried to drive theinvasive thought in her head by kissing her Lord. Each kiss was sweet and tuggedviolently at her heart. How was she such a fool not to notice that feeling growing witheach touch? She thought the feeling would fade with the euphoria, but it didn’t. She lovedhim. She had fallen in love with him, and that was very foolish thing to do.

“I am suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed,” she said quietly and without warning. Heopened his mouth to apologize. She could see it in his eyes, but she placed a finger on hislips.

“Hush, now. You did nothing wrong. I wish you could stay with me…” she trailed off, “butI have to go inside. I wish you a fond goodnight.”

She planted one last kiss on his lips, both of them lingering as long as they could affordbefore they parted ways, and each slipped away into the dark.

Martha desperately wanted to lay down. Her legs and her core felt weak after anexperience that she couldn’t believe. She wanted to try and think, but her thoughts keptswitching places with her desires, and everything became muddled and hard to separate.

“Am I supposed to look the other way when you come sneaking into your own home?”said a curt voice from the darkness as she came in from the porch. It took all Martha hadleft in her not to scream.

“Fish and frogs! Benjamin why are you skulking in the dark?!” She was so angry at him forscaring her that she hadn’t yet registered what he had said.

“Where were you?” he asked, ignoring her attempted scolding.

“In the gardens. Where else would I have been?” Her anger did well to cover up herdeceit.

“You think I don’t know what you were doing back there, hiding amongst the hedges?” hepressed her.

“Is a lady not entitled to the use of her gardens now?” She wouldn’t give him the inchthat he was looking for. It was irrelevant, though. She knew when Benjamin came to aconclusion, he would not be dissuaded. Unfortunately, this time he happened to be right.

“Need I remind you that you are a clergyman's daughter and a Baron’s widow? Do youhave to be prompted to act as such, like I would a child?” His tone was as infantilizing ashis words. Martha felt as though she was nine years old and sneaking under fences again.She didn’t like him bringing that feeling back to her.

“Need I remind you that you are not a father, not mine nor anyone’s, and you have nogrounds to act as my guardian? I may do as I please.” She was awfully worked up now,and she knew that her temper was very close to being lost. She turned to march to herroom.

“If he would tempt a lady outside of proper behavior, then he is no gentleman. I dare sayit is unlikely that he is much different than your former husband,” her brother remarked to

her back.

Martha whirled around. “How dare you speak of things you know nothing about?” shepractically shouted. She was being too loud, but she didn’t care. “He is nothing like that…that scoundrel.”

“Then why does he not court you openly?” Her brother was cowed by her sudden rage,but this question still had not been addressed, and it was the last bastion he had.

Martha couldn’t answer it. She couldn’t admit to her brother that she had been the one topropose that James and she act in such a manner. Her anger was suddenly doused.

James had been reluctant, and she had persuaded him, assured him that nothing wouldgo wrong. Now her mind was all muddled with her emotions, and she didn’t know whatshe felt. She stood over her brother and began to weep.

Benjamin hadn’t been expecting this and did as his fraternal instincts demanded of him.He went to his crying younger sister and comforted her; his voice was soft and soothing.

“I am sure many things are confusing right now. Why don’t you return home, to your realhome with Aunt Barbara? Take some time to try and sort yourself out.”

He was right. She needed some time to make sense of everything.

J

Chapter Nineteen

ames noticed when he glanced up from his work in his study that the familycarriage was leaving from the Lady’s manor. His focus on his work was strained asof late with Lady Carrington within sight of his window, but he tried his best toremain diligent. He was about to return to his ledger when he heard someone

clear their throat behind him.

“Preoccupied with the Carrington estate, My Lord? That has been the commoncircumstance as of late.” Miss Blake remarked with a pert smile.

“I didn’t realize you were so attentive to my preoccupations,” James said, genuinelysurprised.

“I make it my policy to be familiar with what's on My Lord's mind, as I must tend to hischild. She has been missing you of late, My Lord.”

“Has she? Why would Amanda miss me? I haven’t gone anywhere.” James asked.

“Well, respectfully, My Lord, you have been spending an awful lot of time with LadyCarrington,” Miss Blake told him with a rather instructional tone.

“Has it been that often?” James asked, more surprised than before.

“Enough that Amanda has been lonely.” Miss Blake looked thoughtful for a moment. “Shehas been sitting in her room and writing a good number of letters as of late.” BeforeJames could comment on the state of his daughter, Miss Blake continued, “Which remindsme, Lady Carrington’s lady maid dropped this off earlier.” She pulled out a small, foldednote addressed to the Lord of Barristen.

James smiled and took it from Miss Blake. “Thank you. Most likely an invitation, but ifwhat you say is true, I might have to rethink accepting it,” he said a bit sheepishly. Hewas actually considering having a talk with Amanda rather than declining. As he glanceddown at the note, his face changed from mildly concerned optimism to complete dismay.

Lord Barristen,

I had ever so much fun with you, but I think it's time we part ways. I am returning hometo spend time with my family and am unsure when I will return as I have grown tired ofLondon. This seems to be as good a time as any to end things. I have grown tired of ourgame as I am sure you have too. That's just the way these things go.

Lady Carrington

James was upset. He knew he shouldn’t have been upset. Wasn’t that the point of allthis? To have what they needed from each other without becoming attached? He hadenough heartbreak in his life, so this arrangement with Martha truly was the perfectsolution, and it had gone exactly as it was supposed to.

So why did it feel like James had his heart ripped out?

“My Lord? Is everything all right?” Miss Blake asked him, and he felt her delicate handsupporting his shoulder.

He pulled away from her touch. He didn’t want to be touched, now or ever by anyoneagain. It only ended in pain.

“I’m fine.” His own voice sounded distant in his ears. “You can go back to attending to mydaughter.”

“Weren’t we discussing the possibility of you spending more time with Amanda?” MissBlake pressed, but her voice grew weaker, and James turned from her.

“I will speak with her in my own time. For now, I wish to be alone. Please, leave me.” Hisvoice wasn’t particularly demanding, but he moved to sit at his desk, and he did not turnback around. The conversation was over.

Martha watched Barristen Manor slowly get smaller as the carriage carried her, Benjamin,and her aunt back home. The ride was a somber one. Martha was experiencing a sadnessthat she couldn’t articulate to the others. Barbara seemed to have no inclination fordiscussion as things were anyway.

As if to add insult to Martha’s somber mood, it began to rain. The rain built, slowly butsteadily, until one could barely see more than a foot in front from the carriage windows.

Martha spent much of the trip thinking about James. She hoped he wouldn’t be too crossabout her sudden absence. Her note explained that she would be back as soon as shefigured everything out.

Strangely enough, Martha wasn’t as worried as she thought she would be when it cameto the confession she left behind for James. She normally would have been, opening upas she had, but she had come to trust the Earl, both with her personal safety and herheart. Perhaps that was what came naturally when one took on a lover, but Marthacouldn’t be too sure. That was the whole of the problem, wasn’t it?

The ride was normally quite long, but Martha had to be shaken from her daze by heraunt’s gentle touch for her to realize that they had reached their destination. They raninside, neither Martha nor her Aunt were dressed for the rain, and if they weren’t careful,

the dye would run on their clothes.

“Missing your large home yet, My Lady?” Barbara asked her as they stood in theentryway.

Martha shook her head. “Not particularly. Being a lady with a manor is nice, but I havealways loved our home here.”

“Still, you don’t necessarily seem happy to arrive,” her Aunt commented through thin lips.

“I am,” Martha assured her, and she was. It wasn’t that she preferred her rich manor. Herhome was hers, and she had the final say in all matters and regards. Back in the countryshe felt like a little girl again, and being under her family's roof, while comforting in itsown way, made her feel fairly powerless.

Once she was back in her childhood room, comfortable, warm, and dry, her thoughts onceagain drifted back to the quagmire of Lord Barristen.

And it was in this chamber of the mind that Martha would dwell for several days. Shecame out of her thoughts on occasion, much in the same way that she left her room totake meals and exchange polite words with Emma when she arrived, but that was that.She had come here with a task, a taxing one at that, and was determined to see itthrough.

The problem was every time she considered the problem in her head, she would getstuck. What was there to do? She had broken her only rule for this arrangement; she hadlet the situation get to her heart. Should she then break it off? That would be the obviousand logical thing to do. But each time she considered ending her arrangement with LordBarristen, her heart would ache so much that it would almost bring tears to her eyes. Hermind knew what the solution to her problem was, but her heart wouldn’t let her gothrough with it.

“But what were your other options?” her mind would ask her heart. “You knew what wasat risk, and you were the one who was broken. How could you do that all over again?”

But the heart had an answer, so obvious she was amazed she had missed it, yet sodaring she shuddered at the idea. An idea she knew she had no other hope but to try.

T

Chapter Twenty

he Lord of Barristen was all out of sorts. The lovesickness that had struck him onlya short time ago had left his servants concerned, but this bout of depressioncaused them to whisper to one another in dreadful worry.

The Lord had stopped taking meals, settling to eat bits here and there from whateverwas left out in the kitchen or larder at odd hours. In fact, he would rarely leave his officeat times when there was anyone else around. Vickers was the only reason the rest of theattendants didn’t think he was sleeping in there, the valet insisting that the master barelyslept at all.

What was worse was that no one knew what had caused their lord such dismay. Well, noone but two people close to the lord. Miss Blake knew because she had been in the Lord’spersonage when he had read the letter given to him. Amanda Williams knew for acompletely different reason; one which she had been contemplating the best way to actupon for several days.

A few days ago, Amanda had been playing in the garden when she saw Martha climbinginto a carriage and leaving Mayfair. She didn’t pay it much mind. Why would Martha beleaving? She and Papa were in love, and people don’t just leave people that they are inlove with. Surely Martha would come back.

Amanda continued to play in the garden for a long time after this, until it began to rainheavy cold droplets from the sky, coming faster and faster so Amanda was forced to runinto the manor to avoid becoming sodden.

When she arrived inside, she was about to find her governess so Miss Blake could helpher find something to do. Before she had a chance though, she noticed something hadbecome stuck to the bottom of her shoe. When she bent down to remove and inspect thethin, damp slip of paper, she found it to be a letter.

She looked it over for a moment, and her eyes widened in surprise. She very carefullytried to remove the excess water from the letter so that the ink would not run and tuckedit into her sleeve. There the letter had stayed, while she watched her father grow moreand more upset.

Amanda didn’t really know what to do. She knew important letters didn’t belong outside,and she didn’t know how this one ended up in the garden. Had her Papa left it there?Was the letter why he was upset?

What was worse, she knew that anyone she asked might get her into trouble. Miss Blakewas already suspicious, and the little girl’s governess had never been one to allow forsecrets.

She simply wanted to speak to her Papa alone, but no matter what Miss Blake alwaysinsisted on being there.

“You father is a very important and very busy Lord. Not everyone has time to entertainlittle girls, Lady Amanda.” That is what she would say, and she would always say it in thesame teacher voice that Amanda hated.

So, Amanda decided that she had held onto the note long enough. She would speak toher Papa on her own terms, no matter what it took. He was being very silly, and he had alot to explain to her, and she wasn’t going to be ushered away by anyone until she gotthe answers she wanted.

Her old trick had been to slip out of bed after Miss Blake had retired for the evening, butafter her most recent excursion, they had taken to locking her door and windows to makesure she stayed put. Amanda had been cooking up a new method of absconding, though.

On days when her instructor was tutoring Amanda, Miss Blake was rarely in attendance,but when Amanda was practicing on her own, she often noticed Miss Blake would hideher face in a book or pamphlet, to obscure the fact that she would fall asleep.

Amanda knew if she stopped playing suddenly that it would rouse Miss Blake enough toalert her. She had been, over the last few lessons, testing something. As long as sheplayed softly, then Miss Blake would stay sleeping no matter what.

Her father, as luck would have it, recently procured a wonderful little device known as ametronome in order to better her learning. It was incredibly helpful, but also quitemesmerizing all on its own. Amanda figured out that once it was wound, the little weighton the pendulum kept it moving steadily.

A week after Martha had departed from Mayfair, Amanda had the perfect opportunity.Miss Blake had positioned herself in a plush chair behind a pamphlet. After Amanda hadseen Miss Blake’s breathing became steady and rhythmic, indicating that she had begunto doze, Amanda slid the metronome over and positioned it on a convenient side table.She watched with a momentary worry that the weight would not be enough to stroke thekey but smiled as it brought the low C down with a gentle thrum.

Amanda walked softly, each step of her slippered foot careful to tread on this or thatfloorboard. She was sure that she didn’t have much time before Miss Blake awoke as therepetition of the note playing would only pass for practice for so long. Amanda also hadto be careful to avoid any of the other people in the house.

This required her to move from the conservatory, through several hallways, up the mainstaircase, and through several more hallways without being seen in a lively household.The good news was Amanda was very small, and, while being the lady of the housewould draw attention, there were many places in the ornate manse to hide. The onlytime she was almost spotted was when a maid unexpectedly turned a corner on theopposing staircase. Thankfully, the banisters were as large as Amanda was small, andshe was able to just tuck herself behind one.

Her Papa was always in his study, and that was the child’s destination. She had made itthis far with surprising ease, and she had let an uneasy, if well earned, pride swell in her

chest as she stood in front of the sturdy door. This was her only moment of hesitation,and it was because she was unsure if she should knock. She didn’t want to invade herPapa’s office, as it was his, and that was important, but she also believed knocking wouldundermine the secrecy she had invested so much into.

She decided to push the door open. She was sure this minor transgression would beforgiven. This was important, and her Papa needed her.

J

Chapter Twenty-One

ames wasn’t sure if he heard the door creak, or if he imagined it. The usuallyclean-cut Lord of Barristen hadn't shaved or changed his clothes in several days,and he was sure to be a sight. That thought did not force its way to the forefrontof James' mind, blocked out by his deep sadness and his urge to be left alone.

When he turned, he was ready to usher away whoever had entered his office withoutknocking with a stern word or three.

Instead, he was left speechless. He was shocked to see his daughter. While she certainlyhad a mischievous streak, she had never wandered into any place he had expresslyforbidden, his study being the foremost on that list.

The look on her face also worried him. She didn’t look like she was trespassing into theforbidden territory or about to surprise her unsuspecting Papa. Her face suggested worryfar too dire for a child of only nine. He remembered far off that Miss Blake had suggestedhis daughter had been missing her father. Before his daughter said anything, he stoodand picked her up in his arms, squeezing her tight against him.

“Papa?” she asked softly, “why is your face so prickly?”

He laughed, and it felt good to laugh. “I’m afraid that I have been doing a poor job ofshaving. Haven’t let Vickers come near me either. Not a good habit to get into,” he toldher and set her down. “But let's talk about that later. Why did you come to my study?Was there something you needed?”

“I found something, Papa,” Amanda explained quickly, as she remembered time was of

the essence. She pulled the letter out from the sleeve of her dress and unfolded it. Hetook it from her and was very curious as to what it could contain. The letter wasn’twrapped or sealed and carried no indicator to whom it was addressed, but, once opened,it was clear that it was intended for him.

My dearest James,

I hate to leave you in such a state, but I’m afraid I must. Despite all I have insisted, I findthat I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me. I enjoyed the time we spenttogether, but falling in love with you wasn’t supposed to happen. I am at a loss of whatto do, so I have traveled to my old home to visit with my family and think on this matter.My brother will stay in my home to look after my affairs, so if there is anything you mightneed, don’t be afraid to ask him for aid. I hope you won’t judge me too harshly as I neverintended this to happen. I look forward to seeing you again, regardless of thecircumstances.

Yours,

Martha

James' hands shook as he held the note in his hands. He didn’t know what to believe. Hisheart and head twisted in upon themselves. He wanted this note to be true, desperatelywanted that, but how could it be? How could this note found by his daughter be the realone and the note delivered to him by his employee and sealed not be?

“Where did you find this, little one?” His voice was soft but desperate even in his ownears.

“It was left out in the garden,” his daughter explained rather matter-of-factly. “It almostgot rained on, but I stopped it,” she added proudly. “Did you leave it out there, Papa?You should be more careful with your letters, especially special sounding ones like that.”

“I…” James was baffled, “I did not leave it out there, Amanda.” He went to look at theother note, which he had stashed under a pile of papers. The handwriting was similar, butnot exact. One of the notes was a forgery, and James was starting to get a clear idea ofwhich.

“Amanda,” he said in a clear authoritative tone, “I am going to ask you a question, andit's very important that you are honest. You found this note in the garden? No one gave itto you to give to Papa?”

“No, Papa, that's the honest truth. I found it stuck to my shoe,” she said and pointed. “Ifyou look there you can see the print in the corner from my shoe where the ink smudged.”She was right; the corner had a smudge that could be a sole print, and on a secondexamination, James could see the odd spread of dotted water stains. Like the letter wascovered in rain... or tears.

Anger was beginning to stew beneath the surface of the Lord of Barristen. A boiling pitchof it. But right now, it was mixed with joy. He picked up his daughter again, in a tighter,more celebratory hug, spinning her around as he squeezed. “Thank you so much mydarling, wonderful, beautiful, smart, little girl. Thank you for giving me this gift.”

She loved him. She loved him, and that made more sense than anything else in the wholeworld. Of course, she loved him. And she needed to hear exactly what he thought of that.

“Vickers!” The Lord of the manor’s voice carried louder and more jubilant than it had indays. “I need a shave!”

The Earl was able to collect himself in a surprisingly brief amount of time as Vickers andthe other attendants were happy to put in a little extra work when they saw their Lord sofull of vitality again, so it took about half the time it would have taken with a group ofless loyal employees.

“Will you be taking dinner this evening, My Lord?” Vickers asked optimistically.

“I will. But there is some business I must address first,” James said curtly as he examinedhimself. He gave an approving nod and headed for the door. Vickers wasn’t sure whetherto be happy that his Lord was dressing and eating again or curse the gentleman for hiscontinued cryptic nature. He settled on rolling his eyes and going to alert the cookingstaff that meals would likely resume their usual schedule.

James found that the vast lawns that he normally tracked between his home andMartha’s were now riddled with muddied puddles and pits. He had been paying attentionto little outside his mind but did recall it had been raining quite heavily the last few days.Although he hated the idea of having to wait, he had the stable attendants arrange hiscarriage. Arriving at Martha’s manor covered in mud would be rather ill-suited for what hehad in mind.

The ride was short but tense. James felt the anger growing inside him, the closer he gotto his destination. Though he fought to keep his outside demeanor calm, by the time hehad arrived, his hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles had gone white, and hecould feel the rough thumping of his heart in his forehead.

He spoke stiffly, requesting to speak with Mr. Bradford, and the butler led him to a sittingroom for him to wait in. The anger that had been threatening to boil over was soothed bythe familiarity of Lady Carrington’s home. This was a place of calm and happy memories,and James was having a hard time maintaining his bluster, try as he might.

“I must admit, My Lord,” Benjamin spoke suddenly as he walked through the door,appearing as though he simply wished to get this meeting over with, “when the footmanfirst informed me that you were here to see me, I didn’t believe him. I assumed you werehere to see my sister, but he said no. He said you asked for me specifically.”

“I did,” James informed him, and he already felt his jaw begin to tighten again.

“And you have need of me?” Benjamin continued, his voice uncertain.

“Yes, I wish to confirm some facts that may have been misrepresented to me recently,”James said.

“Honestly, I cannot fathom what you could need my help with, in that regard, but if I canhelp then, of course, I will,” Benjamin told him, looking more confused than ever. Jamesfaltered but pressed on. He could be wrong... or Benjamin could be an extremely talentedactor and liar.

“Your sister left, yes?” James started.

“Yes,” Benjamin nodded.

“She left to go home? To visit with her aunt and sister?”

“That's correct,” Benjamin told him.

“And when will she be back?” James asked.

Benjamin hesitated, and James grew immensely suspicious. “We didn’t discuss an exactstretch of time, but if I recall, she didn’t intend on being gone for more than a week ortwo.”

James wasn’t expecting this answer; he thought Benjamin’s answers would align morewith the first letter.

“A week or two?” he asked. “Not indefinitely?”

“No, by no means indefinitely. Though I think it might be good for her to spend someextended time with the family; Martha is far too strong-willed for anything like that.”Benjamin’s skepticism grew steadily. “Why are you asking all these questions?”

James jumped at the chance to explain why he had come, but perhaps a bit too hastily.“Lady Carrington left me correspondence to explain her absence. Another correspondencewas discovered on my property that so appears to be the Lady’s handwriting but offers acontradictory explanation. I believe one of them may be a forgery,” James considered hisnext words carefully. “I was hoping your insight could help me deduce which one.”

Benjamin stared at James for a moment, and James stared back. They were each tryingto read the expression of the other, and neither was making much headway.

“May I see the letters?” Benjamin asked.

“I am afraid I did not bring them,” James responded. This was true but a calculated truth.He had intentionally left them behind.

“I would be extremely concerned if someone were wishing to impersonate my sister.Forgive me, but why would someone go to such lengths to make you believe she had?”Benjamin seemed equally curious and concerned.

“That was one of the very questions I was hoping you would be able to answer for me,”James said flatly.

As Benjamin sat and continued to stare, a light dawned in his eyes. “Ah, you are accusingme.”

“I have voiced no such accusation,” James said.

“Technically no, I suppose not. Let me alleviate your non-existent fears then. I may holdsuspicions about your intent with my sister, but I am not a liar,” Benjamin said coolly anddefinitively.

James kept staring at the son of a clergyman. He wouldn’t take him on the word of hisfamily's piety; James was not inclined to such kinds of trust. He would have to wait andsee what kind of man Benjamin was, but for the time being he was willing to give him thebenefit of the doubt…

James nodded and stood. “I’ll take you at your word, then, and bother you no longer.Thank you for answering my questions.” Before James could exit the door to the sittingroom, he heard Benjamin clear his throat behind him.

“My Lord, I think it's important that I profess something. I believe that some of mysuspicions about your intent have been... waylaid. At least for now,” Benjamin informedthe Lord brusquely.

James got the completely accurate impression that Benjamin was an extremely proudman. “I must admit, Mr. Bradford, I don’t know what has changed for me to have enteredyour good graces, considering I believe my turning up here could be seen as fairlysuspicious in itself,” he admitted.

“Whatever my sister and you are to one another…” he cleared his throat and lookeduncomfortable again, “well, I was still under the impression that you were takingadvantage of a lonely widow for the sake of... your own carrying on. But it's clear thatyou came here with the intent to protect Martha. If you care about her so deeply, thenyour intent cannot be malevolent, this I must concede.”

“Of course, good sir, you needn’t worry. I care about…” James stopped mid-sentencewhen he realized what he was about to say. “I care about your sister quite a lot.”

Benjamin smiled, a thin weak thing that seemed far out of practice. “I am happy to hearthat. She deserves to be cared for.” Then the smile disappeared, and Benjamin clearedhis throat once again. “In a proper and respectful manner, of course.”

“Of course,” James nodded again, “I’m afraid I have important matters to think on. If youwill excuse me, Mr. Bradford.”

Vickers and the cooks were almost immediately devastated when Lord Barristen sat at hisdining table but didn’t touch the feast in front of him. He was already more than an hourlate to dinner; Amanda had long since eaten, and now he simply sat without touching thefood. The chefs asked Vickers if they should clear the table, but he advised them to wait.Vickers knew his Lord, and while Lord Barristen looked thoughtful, he wasn’t despondent.

After a few more excruciating moments, the Earl began to set about eating his dinnerwith a healthy appetite.

Vickers entered the dining room from the kitchen entrance. “I am glad to see you eatingagain, My Lord. Some of us had grown quite worried that you weren’t eating enough.”

James looked up, chewing and smiling at the same time. “Make sure to give mycompliments to the head house chef. This food is wonderful, despite the fact that I wasso lost in my own concerns, I allowed it to become cold.”

Vickers smiled and nodded. “I assure you, My Lord, that your sentiments will beconveyed. If that is all you will be needing, then I will excuse myself.”

“A moment, Vickers.” James took a long sip of wine and continued, “A question. Have youever been in love?”

Vickers was surprised at this question, and it showed. His Lord was normally veryreserved, not one to discuss his emotions, let alone to ask about others.

“Well,” the older valet started and fumbled, “I believe so, once or twice.” He stopped, notreally sure how to continue.

“Interesting experience. Seems to make other aspects of life that much richer. Had beenso long I almost forgot what it was like,” James said with a satisfied sigh. “You may take

your leave, Vickers. Have a good night!”

“You too, My Lord,” Vickers said with a smile, glad to know his Lord was content. Itwasn’t ’til long after the valet had left the room that he realized the connotations of whathis Lord had said.

M

Chapter Twenty-Two

artha spent a week searching for answers. She needed to find a way toreconcile the feelings of both her heart and her head. She didn’t feel she wasany worse than when she came back, but she didn’t feel any better either.

She had tried talking to Emma about the matter, but Emma had proven very reluctant.When Martha made a point on multiple occasions of trying to explain the elaborate andcomplicated emotional aspects of the whole convoluted situation, her eldest sister wouldslowly grow more and more panicked. She would eventually put her hands up tofrantically silence her sister. “I keep telling you, I’ve never been in love. I cannot possiblyoffer any advice on what to do.”

Martha was frustrated by her sister’s unwillingness to help, but she could understandwhat it felt like to be completely out of your depth when it came to romance. And herpoor sister had even less romantic experience than she did.

She went back and forth when it came to her only other alternative, her Aunt Barbara.

On one hand, her aunt wasn’t married.

On the other hand, Martha didn’t believe that her aunt had lived her whole life withabsolutely no experiences with gentlemen. She may have some advice to offer when itcame to this situation.

Aunt Barbara didn’t need to know everything about her private life. That was, of course,assuming her aunt wouldn’t be able to sniff the truth out. She considered her Aunt fairlyconservative and enigmatic, but if Martha knew one thing about the woman, she wasshrewd.

Martha waited until Barbara was taking her tea alone and silently joined her. The olderwoman clearly saw Martha come and sit but did not turn from the book she was reading.

After several long moments of silence, Barbara clucked. “Make yourself a cup of tea, dear.I’m not sure what it is you need, but I refuse to break the decorum of the moment. If youdrink tea too, we will both be much more comfortable.”

Martha wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to cringe as if she were being scolded. Sheinstead made up a cup of tea and calmly waited for her aunt to address her again,occasionally sipping while she waited.

“Are you going to tell me what you came to talk about?” Barbara asked without turningfrom her book. She did, however, peer sharply over the cover and the frame of herreading spectacles.

“Well, I was hoping you could give me some advice,” Martha tried to meet her aunt’sdirectness with her own directness.

“Advice?” Barbara asked, while she set the book down on the table, seeming to be atleast a bit more interested.

“Yes, about a gentleman,” Martha clarified.

“What could I have to say about gentleman, unmarried and unloved,” Barbara scoffed.

“Unmarried, but isn’t it likely you have garnered the attention of young men before?

Someone as charming as you must have,” Martha insisted.

Barbara scoffed again but seemed appeased, “Well get on with it; what’s this adviceabout?”

“This is kind of hard to say; I had a relationship with someone. It was not necessarily aromantic one, but I have developed feelings for them. It was not the most appropriatechoice, but... well, what was done was done, and I do not think either of us regrets it, butnow I am terribly unsure of what to do.”

“Ah,” Barbara said concisely.

“Yes,” Martha sighed.

Her aunt sat silently across from her, and she appeared to be thinking up an answer.

“Does this person have the same feelings for you as you do for them?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Martha admitted.

“Ah, well there you go,” she said with a smile and patted her niece’s arm and went backto pick up her book.

“Aunt Barbara? I don’t understand. What do you mean?” Martha said with a mixture ofconfusion and needful plea.

Barbara set her book down again, with a look of mild frustration. “Isn’t it obvious, mydear? You can’t possibly know if you are about to make a wise or unwise decision withoutknowing how the other person feels. You need to figure out how this mystery person feelsabout you before you can decide on anything,” her aunt then added under her breath,

“though if you think I don’t know who you are talking about then you have a rather lowopinion of my powers of observation.”

But Martha didn’t seem to notice that she still was still talking. Martha looked off intospace as if she had just heard something completely ludicrous, mostly because she wasbaffled that the thought had never occurred to her.

“That makes complete sense, Aunt Barbara.”

“That is something I hear quite a bit,” Aunt Barbara remarked dryly.

“Suppose, though, I get my answer. What then? How will I know what to do after that?”Martha added worriedly.

Her aunt waved a dismissive hand, her other hand going back to pick up her book. “That’sthe easy answer, my dear niece. Your heart will know the right thing to do then; I canassure you of that.”

Martha nodded, repeatedly and with increasing excitement. “Yes, yes, of course, you areright Aunt Barbara.”

“I know, dear,” Barbara said, nose back in her book.

“I have to go back to Mayfield. I have to find out what My Lord thinks of me, once and forall,” she said excitedly and rushed out of the room before she was excused by thematron.

“Safe travels,” Aunt Barbara called out, grateful for the return of the silence. Though,secretly, she was happy to know that Martha would soon have another husband.

“You can’t just leave,” Emma insisted.

“And why not?” Martha asked for the fifth time, still packing her bag.

“Because,” Emma huffed, “it's not safe. I keep telling you. It's been raining for days anddays. You know the roads around here aren’t as well kept here as they are in London.You won’t make it to London. In the best of circumstances, you’ll end up stuck andsoaking on the side of the road. Why risk it? You can stay here until the road dries.”Emma paced with Martha as she packed, following closely as she moved between thearmoire, the wardrobe, and the bed.

Martha couldn’t debate with Emma. Mostly because she was right, but also becauseMartha couldn’t explain to Emma why it had to be now. Maybe she was being impatient,but something urged her on. The sooner she got her answer, the sooner her world wouldright itself. Sitting and waiting for the sun to come out seemed a fruitless effort, likewaiting for water to boil in a pot. As long as one is looking, it will never happen.

“If I get stuck, then I get stuck,” Martha told her sister. “I can either be stuck here forcertain or run the chance of getting stuck out there. But out there is also the chance I willmake it back.”

“Listen,” Emma placed her hands on her sister’s shoulders, “I understand that LordBarristen is important. Even if I haven’t been married, I still understand that he means alot to you. But do you think he would want you to endanger yourself to get to him?” Shelooked her firmly in Martha’s eyes while she asked, and the normally shy eldest sisterspoke with grim sincerity.

Martha’s own tone was equally serious. “I don’t know. I can’t answer that question. Asmuch as I want to wish and hope I know the answer, I don’t know for sure. That’s why Ineed to go back to Mayfair, to London.”

Emma looked at her form a moment longer, then she released her sister from her grip.“Okay, if you need to go, then you need to. Just please be careful.”

“Of course,” Martha assured Emma, patting her arm.

Martha had to send a footman out to the stables, as they weren’t attached to the house,in order for the stable master to prep the carriage and the horses. Martha felt a little badfor the footman; chances were the stable master would give the young man an earfulabout traveling in this weather. Martha wouldn’t dare go out in the rainy weather,though. Traveling again so soon was going to be hard enough as it was, and she didn’tneed to soak herself before she left.

With surprising speed, the family carriage was prepared and waiting for her at the bottomof the stairs that lead to the front door. The driver was heavily clothed, his outer layerslick oiled leather to keep him as dry as possible through the hours they would be on theroad.

Martha turned to hug her sister Emma tightly.

“I’ll catch up as soon as the roads are dry. Promise me you’ll send word if you need me tocome sooner?” Emma insisted.

“I promise.” Martha nodded. She turned, took a deep breath, and ran out into the rain,trying to get into the cab of the carriage as fast as she could.

J

Chapter Twenty-Three

ames refused to reenter the mood he had been in before when he thought hislady had left him on such a sour note. Despite having a lot on his mind, he madea large effort to remain in strong spirits.

His daughter, much happier now that her father had left the self-imposed exile to theconfines of his study, was constantly by his side.

“Papa this has been so much fun! I didn’t know how much you liked playing with me!”Amanda said after a particularly spirited game of knights, where the Lord and young Ladypretended to be knights of Camelot in the copse of trees behind the manor.

“Well of course, my dearest. You are what’s most important to me,” he assured her.

“Certainly, your most important daughter,” she nodded knowingly.

He laughed and shook his head at her silliness. “You are my only daughter.”

He had done the foolish thing of falling in love. He couldn’t deny that to himself anylonger. He was in love with Martha, and she loved him too. She loved him so much thatthe strain of knowing it happened forced her to run away from him. He wanted her back,wanted to tell her that it was all right, and that he felt the same way.

And that was the answer wasn’t it?

It was an easy conclusion to come to, and he did it over and over again. But each time hewas swarmed with doubts and fears. What would happen if they were together? Whatcould happen? Would she hurt him? Would she hurt Amanda? He would push thesethoughts away; Martha would never do anything like that. But as soon as he would freehis mind of that clutter, then the truly awful thoughts would grip his heart. What ifsomething were to happen to Martha? What if something horrible happened again?

It was during one of these bouts, his head heavy with dark flourishing storm clouds, thathe found himself in front of Martha’s manse once again. He had gone for a walk to clearhis mind and must have walked here on reflex. He found himself climbing the steps andknocking on the door, despite knowing that Martha wouldn’t be there to comfort him.

The staff wasn’t as surprised to see James again. They had gotten used to seeing himaround, and now they were even beginning to expect him to share Benjamin’s company.

Benjamin, on the other hand, was a bit surprised to see him unannounced. “LordBarristen? Were we planning on meeting today? I am afraid that it may have escaped mymind.”

“To my discredit, good sir, I have arrived unannounced. I apologize,” James sighed andlooked around the sitting room helplessly. “I don’t know what I am doing here. Truthfully,I am at my wit’s end.” He paced as he spoke, unable to stand or sit still.

“I can only assume this has to do with my sister?” Benjamin asked and crossed the roomto fiddle with a pair of drinking glasses and a bottle. When he returned, he gestured forJames to sit across from him and handed him a glass.

“Is it that obvious?” the Earl asked and took a healthy sip.

“What else could we be discussing, My Lord?” Benjamin asked with an arched eyebrow.

“What is it that troubles you? As far as I can tell my sister is quite smitten with you andyou with her. Can’t say what will come of it, it is true. But that's a better start than someI’ve seen in my life.” He took a sip himself. “What could a gentleman of your esteem haveto be concerned with?”

James turned away and looked out the window, a light drizzle settling in around thehomes and gardens. “I lost my first wife; I mentioned that to you. Both of us beingwidowed is what drew your sister and me together; this too you know. What I stillstruggle with is that fear. What if I choose to love your sister, embrace her, and accepther into my life? What if I do all of those things, and something horrible happens? Howcould I survive something like that again?” He took another long pull from the glass, andBenjamin couldn’t tell if the glaze on the Earl’s eyes was from the strong alcohol or fromsadness.

The moment sat between them. James was surprised that it didn’t feel awkward.Benjamin didn’t feel it or exude it though. The man had been training his whole life to bea balm for suffering souls.

“My Lord, do you know what my family is known for? Has Martha discussed our lineagewith you?” Benjamin asked gently.

“I believe Martha mentioned that your father was a minister,” James speculated, notnecessarily sure of where the young man was going with this.

He nodded, “That’s right, currently on a mission of faith in the colonies. The whole of ourfamily was raised on a principle of faith. We believe that we are guided in both reasonand purpose towards divine goals. Do you understand this?”

James swallowed a bit more, “I do, and no disrespect intended, but I have already hadtoo many people try and convince me my sweet wife burned to death for a greaterpurpose.”

Benjamin shook his head and gestured dismissively. “No, I have something else I want totalk about. What I mean to say is we do have divine destinies; we are drawn to the

people who need us.”

James thought about how his thoughtless wanderings had brought him to thisconversation and nodded.

Benjamin continued, “Presuming that you and my sister want to be together, then youshould be together.”

James nodded again, a bit more heavily this time. “Yes, believe me, I have concludedthis.”

It was Benjamin’s turn to nod, “Right, then consider this: If something horrible is going tohappen, then it is absolutely going to happen no matter what.”

James started to get agitated. “This is far from alleviating my concerns.”

Benjamin held up a hand, signaling for the Earl to give him a moment. “So, heavenforbid, if something was going to happen to my sister no matter what, would you ratherbe there or not?”

James opened his mouth to retort sharply but then stopped short. He felt as if he hadbeen struck. Mr. Bradford was right, and in a way, he had never considered it. What if aterrible or dreadful thing happened to Martha, and he wasn’t able to be there for her.Obviously, that was the worst imaginable version of that fate.

Imagining it was like imagining if he hadn't been there to take Amanda from his dearLucienne. What a lonely existence that would have been.

“Sir, you are truly in possession of a wisdom beyond your years, and my soul feels lighterfrom just a few moments of your shared company,” James said before he took a deeprelaxed breath.

Benjamin smiled. “You had the wisdom, My Lord; it is within our nature to keep secretsfrom ourselves. You would be surprised at the answers to the questions you know. Thetrue task of a shepherd of humanity is helping them see what is in front of them, to put itpoetically.

“Poet as well as a minister,” James felt elated by the simple relief of having an answer.He offered to toast his final sip of the liquor, and Benjamin joined him.

As their glasses were both emptied, James gestured to see if Benjamin would like more,and Benjamin took him up on it. Benjamin was cracking a joke about having drinksserved to him by a Lord for the first time, when he was interrupted by a frantic knockingon the door. Benjamin arched an eyebrow at James, who looked equally confused.

“Who could that be?” James asked, and a moment later both of them could hear panickedcrying when the footman answered the door.

Letty had been wrapped in several blankets while sipping from a steaming cup of tea andbrandy, and she was still shivering. The poor woman was soaked and covered sothoroughly in mud that James barely recognized her.

She had insisted several times that time was of the essence, but she had been making solittle sense that they had to insist she was calmed and cared for before they would hearher out, if for the sake of them understanding what was going on at all.

“My family lives in Slough,” she explained, eager to start as soon as she could. They werelucky they got her to wait long enough to finish half the cup. “And My Lady had given metime off while she was going to visit her family, so I was thinking it’d be a good time tosee mine and all that.”

She took a breath and continued hurriedly. “So, I was sitting in the Red Dog, an inn thatmy cousin works in, and a man in leathers burst in and was looking for a doctor, shouting

and scared and all. Worrying everybody in the place, and my cousin went to fetch thenearby doctor. Then the man recognized me, only I didn’t recognize him in the leathers.He was one of the stable hands, Leo. He told me that it had been My Lady’s carriage.Lady Carrington’s carriage had been in an accident and turned over, and that she washurt.”

Both James and Mr. Bradford were stunned into a scared silence as they waited for anymore information from the lady maid.

“Leo got the doctor to the house where they had laid her up, some family by the road.She isn’t bleeding or anything anymore, but she is in pretty bad shape, and the doctorsaid she would need constant care, so that's when I came here as fast as I could. I knewwe would have to make arrangements, and I knew the household would want to knowwhat was going on. That's why we should try and get back to her as soon as possible.”Letty shuddered again.

“But…” James hesitated, “but is she okay?”

“I am not a doctor, My Lord, but from what I could figure, she seemed like she was hurtbut not doing worse for wear,” Letty explained hesitantly.

“Damn,” Benjamin bit his knuckle. “That carriage was the family’s. I’m not sure how wewill move her.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Mr. Bradford, of course you have full use of my stables as well asstaff. Anything that I can do to get her the help she needs. Anything I can do to get herhome sooner,” James insisted.

Benjamin felt a sudden and strong admiration for the Earl, but they didn’t have time todwell. “Thank you. Please hurry and have the proper preparations made.”

James did not waste the time of affirming the request; he simply headed out the door.

A

Chapter Twenty-Four

manda found her home to be a turbulent place when she finally glanced awayfrom her studies. The first sign that something was wrong was Miss Blake’sabsence. Miss Blake had excused herself when they both heard the ruckus.

Amanda paid it little mind as she was deeply involved with her paints, and it wasn’tunusual for Miss Blake to step out for a minute or two. But when her governess didn’treturn for a good while, the young lady became suspicious that something more intriguingwas afoot. And it must have been quite intriguing as Miss Blake had been very cross withher since she had snuck out of her piano lesson.

Amanda, too intrigued to be content with painting, followed after Miss Blake but found nosign of her. Instead, she found her father’s maids and footmen running to and fro’,obtaining various things from closets, pantries, and spare rooms.

From the upper floor of the great hall, she could see various people running in and out ofrain and the kitchen, where she assumed they were heading towards the stables. Shetried to ask several people what was going on or the location of her father, but no onehad much mind to give her answers or attention. She was far more used to being thecenter of the household’s attention. If things were this hectic, then something dire musthave happened.

Despite it being the direction where the chaos grew, Amanda pushed towards thekitchen. There was one person who would be both willing and able to answer all of herquestions, and she happened to be in the kitchen.

Despite the almost dozen people moving in multiple directions in the kitchen, Old Nannwas given a wide berth. This was done out of respect for her personage as well as her

infliction. Old Nann was, as her name described, was very old. She was also blind. Theyset up a small section of the kitchen to keep her comfortable where people knew not toset hot or sharp kitchen things.

While she couldn’t physically cook as well as she used to, she was still employed in thekitchen for her knowledge of cooking. Many of the staff became so accustomed to thequiet, unobtrusive old woman’s presence that they would often discuss matters as if shewasn’t there. Much more importantly, the old woman had wisdom about other thingsbesides cooking. According to her, she had been around more than a hundred years,though Amanda was skeptical that anyone was ever that old, and “had accumulated morebrains than most people expect.”

“Old Nann,” Amanda greeted the old woman, “everyone is rushing around and excitedabout something.”

“No need to tell me,” the woman tutted. “One of them footmen almost walked straightinto me with a knife. I swear, who are they lettin’ into my kitchen.”

“That was why I came here. No one will talk to me or tell me what's going on. I washoping you could tell me?” Amanda asked.

Old Nann clucked her tongue again as she thought the matter over. “Everyone is rushingaround as they talk, so I have only been able to pick up bits and pieces. Your father isawfully worked up about something. Someone got hurt, and they need all the carriagesready as fast as possible. The who or why of it, I haven’t been able to gather.”

“Someone’s hurt? Oh my!” Amanda gasped and looked around. “I hope my Papa is okay. Idon’t suppose you know where he is?”

“Last I heard he had rushed into the stable and hasn’t come out since,” Old Nann said,gesturing in the general direction.

“Thank you!” the young lady shouted while scampering off between people still hurriedlyhauling essentials for the journey that lay ahead. Linens, herbal medicine, anything thatone could possibly think of for an emergency.

Amanda had never seen all three of the carriages ready to move at the same time. Shedidn’t even think they had enough horses stabled to do that, which must have been thecase since she noticed several horses she couldn’t name on one of the carriages. Theywere arranged in one line, the two behind the lead being loaded with food, blankets, andall sorts of other goods.

She saw her father through the large pair of double doors that lead out of the stable,standing and slowly dampening in the light drizzle that had maintained through thecourse of the day. He was occasionally shouting at one person or another from across theway, not sounding angry, mostly just authoritative. Most of his attention was given to ayounger-looking man next to him, who Amanda thought seemed a tad familiar.

“I say this with the utmost concern for my sister and respect for you, My Lord, butperhaps this may be a bit much?” Benjamin said, the concern on his face made him beara surprisingly strong resemblance to his sister.

This, oddly enough, only bolstered James’ determination to send as much help as hecould. “We, through no fault other than circumstances, know very little about thesituation. Transporting someone who has been injured can be very risky, and I want tomake sure we have everything that might be necessary.

Benjamin nodded wordlessly, going back to worriedly looking at all the energy that wasbeing generated on his sister’s account, before he felt the Earl’s strong hand on hisshoulder. “Go and sit in the front carriage. I will join you shortly, and Slough is not longfrom here. You will be reunited with your sister soon.”

As the Earl turned, Benjamin took the older nobleman’s advice and left to go and try andfind a moment's peace before they left, but James was suddenly embraced by his youngdaughter.

“Amanda,” James exclaimed and hugged his daughter. He picked her up with ease, “Ithought you were attending your lessons?”

“I was, but all the commotion was too distracting for me and Miss Blake,” Amandaexplained.

“And where is Miss Blake?” James wondered while looking around. His daughter couldonly shrug. “Well, we will have to find her.”

James carried his daughter from the carriages. He continued to speak and explained thesituation to his daughter with a gentle and reassuring tone. “Amanda, there has been anaccident. Lady Carrington may be hurt, and I need to see to her to ensure she is all right.So, I need to leave and go away for just a little bit. I’ll be back before the end of the day,but if your bedtime comes before I get back, then you are to listen to your governess. Nowaiting up for me, is that clear?”

Amanda didn’t answer her father’s request. “Martha was hurt? Is she okay?” Amanda’svoice was full of worry, a worry that James himself could understand all too well.

“As far as I know she will be okay, but I need to go and make sure for myself. I promise Iwill tell you how she is doing as soon as I know,” James continued to reassure his youngdaughter.

“Will you tell her that I hope she comes back soon?” Amanda said, her eyes welling withtears that threatened to spill over at any moment.

“I will tell her, I promise,” James said and let out a soft “ah” as he spotted Miss Blakewatching them from the upper floor.

He climbed the stairs to meet her. “Miss Blake, I must leave Amanda in your care until Ireturn from Slough. It is an emergency, so I cannot say for sure when I will return, but Iwill as soon as I can. I know you’ll keep a good eye on her.”

“Of course, My Lord,” she told James.

“I am comforted to know that she is in your hands,” James said with a warm smile beforehe turned to go back downstairs.

T

Chapter Twenty-Five

he trip was not a long one, not usually. Slough was only a bit more than an houraway, but for James, that may as well have been a year. Benjamin looked like hemay have made an attempt at conversation, but it was clear that neither of them

was much in the mood to talk. Instead, the trip was accompanied by a combination ofheavy silence, the creak of carriage wheels, and the clop of equine hooves.

The Earl’s mind was haunted by the idea that his dear Martha would die not knowing howmuch he cared for her. This was a fate that not even his late wife Lucienne had toendure.

It was true that Martha and he had only been... well whatever they had been, for a fewshort weeks. But James couldn’t deny that those were some of the best weeks of his life,since he had become a widower. He had been allowed to know happiness again.

It was because of this that each terrible moment of waiting made him urge the carriagesfaster and faster. This was a desire that he kept in his mind, rather than voicing aloud.He was wise enough to not tempt fate with the chance of two carriage accidents soclosely linked.

Slough was a place of moderate growth, a place of invading sprawl from the growingpopulace that had sloshed out of the greater London area. It was likely how Letty endedup there. Martha was probably traveling through from her country home because of howworn the roads were, and, by sheer coincidence, she happened to crash fairly close towhere her lady maid was staying. James was thankful for the divine intervention thatplayed a role in allowing him to be there for Martha.

The house that Letty, who was riding in the second carriage, led them to was a humbleone. There were several children, the oldest no older than James’ own Amanda, seatedoutside the door to the home. From the looks on their faces, it was likely their own Lordprobably visited very rarely. James watched their eyes growing wide as he approachedtheir front door. They scattered when he knocked on the front door, Benjamin rightbehind him. It might have been more appropriate for her brother to knock, but theauthority that James wielded was probably more comforting.

Two men answered the door, one a slightly older man who appeared to be dressed as adoctor and the other a slightly younger man. “I am James Williams, Lord of Barristen.This is Mr. Benjamin Bradford. To whom am I speaking?”

The younger man spoke up. “I am John Hamish, My Lord. A farmer, husband, and fatherand at your service,” He gestured to the doctor next to him. “This is Dr. George Daud.”

“Good day, My Lord,” the doctor greeted James simply.

James continued, “I was alerted that Lady of Carrington was in an accident and broughthere. I assume from the presence of the good doctor Daud that I am correct in thisassumption?”

“Yes,” Mr. Hamish nodded, “Please let me lead you to her.”

The home only had one bed large enough to accommodate the lady, clearly belonging toMr. Hamish and his wife, and they were generous enough to lend it to someone in need.

Martha was pallid, bandages bound her arm in a sling, and she had some small cuts onher brow. James and Benjamin looked at the lady worriedly for a few moments, notexchanging words. The shallow rise and fall of breath James could see in the lady’s chestgave him some small peace of mind.

Benjamin pulled Mr. Hamish aside, thanking him profusely and discussing details of her

arrival and the like. James turned his attention to the doctor. “Dr. Baum?”

“Yes, My Lord?” the older man grunted.

“What do you have to say about her condition?” James asked.

The older doctor mulled, seeming to chew the words before he spoke them. “I have givenher something to keep her asleep for now. As far as I can tell, she has a broken shoulder.That will have to be carefully tended to maintain the proper setting and certainly willrequire her to take some medicine to deal with the pain and possible fever. I have abottle you can have.”

“Can she be moved?” James questioned. “I doubt Mr. Hamish will want the lady within hishome for the whole of her healing.”

Dr. Baum chuckled, “Yes, as long as you're careful with her shoulder, it should be fine. I’drecommend keeping her asleep during the journey and until she is in her own bed. Theshoulder break is fresh, and each bump would be agonizing.”

James nodded, and his mind drifted to each bump and jerk her remembered on the roadthere. He thought that the ride back was going to seem as long as the ride there but in acompletely different sense as before. Before his time was weighed down by dread; now itwould be slowed with concern.

The doctor put a gnarled but steady hand on his shoulder. “My Lord, I know the pain willworry you, as any concerned person would be, but it's the fever you have to watch outfor. If you feel her fever, or see sickness in her veins, that is when death is threatening totake her from this world. That is when you must summon the nearest doctor. Is thatclear?”

James swallowed harshly, “Is that likely, doctor?”

The doctor stared at him long and hard. “The odds are not for me to know, My Lord. Theyare for God and God alone. But he has given me the tools to care for his children, so I dowhat I can when I can.” The doctor shrugged and smiled thinly. “That being said, she wasalert and well when I gave her the medicine. She didn’t seem dazed or anything of thelike. Concerned obviously, but not confused. That's usually a good sign in my book.” Thedoctor nodded and released the Earl from his grip.

M

Chapter Twenty-Six

artha didn’t stir as she was gently placed in the carriage, but the doctor assuredJames and Benjamin that this was normal with the medicine she was given. TheBarristen carriage train was prepped and redirected, prepared to bring the lady

back to her manor when Benjamin pulled James aside.

“I’m afraid, despite all that you have done for this family, I must request something elseof you.” The young man’s face wore an expression that was a mixture of gravity andembarrassment.

“There is little you couldn’t ask for at this point,” James remarked with a light sense ofboth relief and humor. Seeing the solicitors' expression remain unchanged, Jamesabandoned the attempt. “What is it you need of me, Mr. Bradford?”

“Would it be fair to assume that we perhaps brought too much given the severity of thesituation?” Benjamin asked and gestured to the three carriages lined up in front of thehumble home.

James nodded, “I may have overreacted, I’ll admit. The situation seemed fairly dire whenI knew not the circumstances.”

Benjamin shook his head, “That was not a remark made in judgment, but an observation.You see, I’ve been thinking. No one has been able to inform my family; we only happento find out the circumstances through the grace of God. I ask, humbly and earnestly, thatI might borrow a carriage and take it to my family’s home so I might inform them of thehappening.”

James didn’t hesitate. “I believe all of these carriages are not necessary. But wouldn’t yourather take your sister to her home? I would not mind taking the extra carriage to informyour family. Or perhaps if you aren’t comfortable taking the majority, we could send amessenger with the extra carriage?”

Benjamin seemed to consider this for a moment before he shook his head. “That wouldbe the proper thing to do, and honestly what I would prefer for my own peace of mindbut…” He hesitated before he shook his head again with a reluctant smirk. “If Marthafound out she had the chance to wake up next to you, and I intervened, she would neverforgive me.”

James was confused. He understood Benjamin’s thought process but not how he reachedthe conclusion on the circumstances alone. The way he looked at Benjamin must havesaid enough about his confusion for the young man to feel the need to explain.

“Why do you think she was headed in this direction by herself? She wanted to see you.Sending you away at this time would be a bit mean of me,” Benjamin said before hecleared his throat, “regardless of how inappropriate this all is, it doesn’t justify that sort ofcruelty.”

James’ faint smile grew much warmer, but Benjamin turned away before he could speak,clearly uncomfortable. “Well, if we have that all sorted out then I will make thearrangements, if you think your staff will be amicable to listening to a simple solicitor.”He turned back to glance at the Earl, “Of course you will be riding with Letty as well.Riding with my sister on her own wouldn’t be appropriate even if she were in a betterstate.”

James nodded, “Of course, to think I would otherwise would be a judge of character Iknow you wouldn’t never try and imply.” The Earl was astounded at the man’s audacity aswell as authority the young man commanded. Perhaps he had inherited his father’s graspof the human soul, James thought with no small amount of humor as the thin, grim manstrode through the muddy earth.

The first thing that Martha experienced as she awoke was an intense dryness and thirst,like her mouth was full of wool. She groaned and attempted to stretch, only to find hermovement restricted by a wooden panel.

“Easy, My Lady,” a worried voice chastened her. “I might imagine that the bed you hadbeen laid up in was a tad bigger, but the cramped ride is only temporary.”

“Letty?” Martha asked groggily and opened her eyes. The view was painful and blurry, buther eyes soon adjusted to see the countryside passing by slowly.

“We came and got you, My Lady, to bring you back home.”

“Home?” Martha was confused. “But... what do you mean we?” She tried to put thingstogether, but thoughts were painful to cling to.

Letty gave her a drink of water from a flask, and she drank deep before she saw the thirdperson sitting opposite her in the carriage.

“James!” she cried out and attempted to sit up which caused her to wince in pain.

“Easy, My Lady,” James said softly, slowly helping her back into the resting position. “Begentle with yourself; you are still recovering.”

She remembered the sling her right arm hung in, memories of the doctor and the farmerslowly trickling back as the powerful pain medicine wore off.

“How did you know to come for me? How did you know what happened? Have I beensleeping long enough for news to spread to you?”

“I would be happy to tell you the story, My Lady after you had some rest,” he assured her

and patted her gently.

She weakly but stubbornly shook her head. “I feel like I have slept for years; I’ve hadenough. Please, tell me what happened.”

James smiled and obliged, allowing Letty to add her own commentary for the parts shewas privy to.

In the end, Martha felt she was too exhausted to properly convey just how astounded shewas. “That was all amazing. Letty! I can’t begin to thank you enough. You saved me.”

“I only did what was right and proper, My Lady,” Letty assured her humbly. “Besides, thedoctor said you weren't in any mortal danger; just needed to sleep and heal.” Lettythought better of the second comment, “Though your thanks are deeply appreciated, MyLady.”

She turned her attention to James, and it had been torture to try and keep hercomposure thus far. He gave her a slight nod, and it assured her that he understood, andthey would talk more when they had a semblance of privacy.

“We will be back to your manor soon enough, and you will find the comfort of thefamiliar. That will surely speed your healing process. Until then, you should try and rest,sleep, lest your discomfort worsens your state.”

Martha was about to protest, but then James, damming all etiquette in the process,gently began to stroke his hand through her hair. Martha let the rebelliousness in her besoothed and allowed her own exhaustion and sleep to take her, if only for the time being.

Only after Martha was asleep did James think to look at Letty, worried that his unfetteredcloseness with her lady might have offended her, but she had averted her gaze to thecountryside. Was it out of bashfulness? Or did she wish to claim ignorance of the situationlater? Whatever her motivation, James felt Letty wasn’t keen on holding him to evil

intent, and he was thankful for that.

Another reason to be thankful to Letty; James was worried he would soon find himselfdeeply indebted to her if this carried on.

Martha stirred and felt strong arms grip her firmly but gently. She also heard a familiarvoice swear under his breath, and her eyes fluttered open. She had to stop herself fromexclaiming in surprise and embarrassment. James was carrying her in his arms up thestairs of her house. The feeling of his warmth and the firmness of his body was bothcomforting and at the same time exciting. She was not inexperienced, but the form ofJames supporting her made her feel as if she were untouched by another man.

“I’m so sorry, My Lady. I was hoping to get you to your room without waking you. I hope Ididn’t cause you too much discomfort,” he said apologetically.

She shook her head. The sensation of him as he held her up with such ease made herheart flutter. To be frank, she had forgotten all about the injury, the pain pushed out ofher mind by the taut musculature beneath his suit. She was about to say somethingrather scandalous but caught herself when she saw the entourage of servants that weretrailing behind him.

She decided it was wiser to close her eyes and enjoy the sensation of being carried byhim rather than risk further embarrassment.

Her mind was still fairly muddled with both medication and sleep, and it made puttingevents together difficult with her eyes closed.

“Just going to get you sorted out on the bed here, My Lady,” Letty said softly as sheguided her. “Here, move just this way, gently so we don’t hurt that arm of yours. Got toget you put into your night clothes, so you can rest proper.”

“Where is James?” Martha asked.

“He is making the proper arrangements,” Letty assured her.

Through the door, she heard James' voice. It was firm, authoritative but not angry. Washe giving instructions to her staff? They seem to be taking to it well, she noted with nosmall amusement.

She heard Letty depart and the door shut and believed she would be allowed to rest forthe evening. Then she caught a gentle creak of wood from across the room and openedher eyes.

The lamps had been turned down low, which allowed her eyes to adjust quickly even ifher sight was still tired and blurry. James was in the room, stripped of his coat and vestand having made himself comfortable in one of the stuffed chairs next to her armoire.Martha, even in her semi-lucid state still marveled at how his definition strained againsthis shirt. His tailor must have made a fortune in minor repairs; one wrong turn was likelyto dismount a button or burst a seem. Martha thought with a mixture of amusement andexcitement of the consequences.

“James?” she asked weakly, worried she might be dreaming. She wasn’t one for fantasieswhen waking, but if she ever had one, it would be of him.

“My Lady,” he nodded. “I can leave if you wish, but I insisted on watching over you forthe night,” he admitted sheepishly to her. “I thought it for the best. I know I would haveno peace of mind if it were anyone else guarding over you.”

“Keeping an eye on me, My Lord?” Her voice was weak but full of amusement. “Howwould you properly watch me from all the way over there? I am likely to escape beforeyou could even stop me,” she joked.

Even in the dim light, she could tell he was trying to stifle a surprised laugh. “Very well,”

he conceded and stood up, moving to pick up the chair.

“No,” She told him, softly but firmly, “that simply won’t do.” She weakly slid over in herbed, trying to hide the strain it put her under, and patted next to her. “Come, sit here.Bring comfort to an injured lady. I am sure that is the proper thing to do, all things takeninto consideration.”

“Yes,” he said as he shook his head and crossed the room, “Yes I am sure you are right.”Neither of them was deluding themselves, but they were both too tired from the day andfrom their lives in the world of decorum to put up much of a fight anymore.

He took a seat next to her on the bed, close enough that she could see his handsomeface in the dim lamplight. She slid her hand over the blankets until she found what shesought.

She pushed her smaller hand into the grasp of his bigger one. “James I…” she began.

“Hush,” he shook his head, “You will have plenty of time to tell me when you are feelingbetter. For now, rest. I promise I will be right here if you need anything at all.”

Martha was reluctant; she had fought so hard to get this far. Could she really wait to tellhim what she absolutely needed to tell him?

The look on his face as he guarded over her soothed her. He knew.

“J

Chapter Twenty-Seven

ames, dearest, I am in need of assistance.” Martha called out in faux desperation.

“Shall I fetch Letty?” James asked uncertainly.

“No, it is but a small thing. The top button of my night shirt appears to have comeundone. I am unable to set it right with one hand. Please, it will take you but a moment?”she pleaded with just enough earnestness that James felt obliged.

Martha’s recovery seemed agonizingly slow from her perspective, but in the reality of thesituation, it was proceeding far more rapidly than the physicians predicted. The doctorwho visited said the arm was likely heavily bruised, down to the bone, and the shoulderwas dislocated rather than broken. She should still stay in bed, but that meant thechances for fever were much lower. Martha was quite frustrated by this but begrudginglyagreed, taking the good news as a sign that her patience would be rewarded.

She never had the chance to violate the doctor’s orders anyway, considering that Jamesinsisted she take all the necessary precautions and wouldn’t leave her side long enoughfor her to get away with it, though Letty, and many of the rest of the household staff,secretly believed that Martha was enjoying having the regal Lord fret over her.

What Martha was really enjoying was all the alone time with James in her bedroom.While many of those who worked in her manor were willing to let the decorum on thematter slide, this was a medical emergency, after all, they still thought it best that thetwo of them were chaperoned as often as possible. This was simply proper, and there

was absolutely no room for disagreement with Letty or the rest of the staff on thismatter.

It was to no avail, though. The reality of the situation was the circumstance required somuch of the staff's attention that there were often long stretches of time that it was justthe two of them.

“Oh no, James,” Martha would say whenever the last of the maids or footmen wouldleave the room, “we have been left all alone; how inappropriate.”

She loved the vexed look on his face. He, too, clearly wanted to touch her, to use thisalone time in her bed to its fullest, but his concern for her injuries made him too hesitant.

Still, laying in her bed in only her nightclothes gave her too many opportunities to tempthim. Even if she had something else to occupy her time, the temptation to tease wouldlikely prove too great. Unfortunately for James, Martha had nothing else to occupy hertime. It wouldn’t be long after they were left alone that she would slip a bare ankle orcalf just where he could see or allow her nightclothes to slip below her shoulder. Jameswas so flustered he had almost become cross with her. Her boredom was making herbold and driving him wild.

“James, dear,” she said coyly to him.

“Yes, My Lady,” he said gruffly, averting his gaze, face already turning red with acombination of anger, excitement, and embarrassment.

“Come here, right this instant, before you make me have to get up and walk to you. Thedoctor doesn’t like me walking, but I can’t sit by and die of loneliness,” she insisted.

He came eagerly and with only a small measure of hesitation, standing next to the bedand looking down at her. She reached up with her good arm, and he went to grasp herhand, but she grasped the front of his shirt instead and guided him lower.

They kissed, the first kiss they had shared since they had returned to one another. It washeated and earnest as they pulled towards one another to deepen the kiss. They wantedto be closer, to touch each other and hold each other and never let go. It was the firstkiss they shared in mutually acknowledged love. And a kiss of love is never a kiss to beforgotten or to fade.

“I love you, Martha,” he told her when they pulled apart. He wanted to be the first one tosay it, since he had learned how she really felt. “I was a fool not to notice it, eithercoming from me or to me. And I don’t know how long I have loved you, but I know it's anunquestionable truth. The sun rises every day, snow falls in the cold, and I love you.”

“James, perhaps I was a bigger fool for having to leave to realize it, only to get myselfbedridden in the process…” Martha’s words were cut off by another heated kiss fromJames.

“You knew love when you felt it, despite all you’ve been through,” he told her as helooked into her eyes. He spoke in earnest. “You were uncertain, it’s true, but I was theone who hid from love as long as I could. You were scared of a frightening thing, but I hidfrom that which was beautiful. No more,” he promised her and kissed her again, handsgently cupping her face as he held her close.

She reached for him, tried to pull him into the bed with her, but he resisted. “Is My Lordgetting shy again, now that we will officially court? I know what I want James;declarations of love don’t change that.”

“I have no apprehensions about expressing my desire for you, My Lady. I know what mylove means, and you have made it clear that my desires are something you want to beexpressed to you,” he cleared his throat. “My hesitation comes from your injuries. You arestill healing, and I will not express myself in a way that could cause you discomfort.”

It was Martha’s turn to hesitate. She wasn’t worried about him hurting her; she wanted tofeel him close no matter what, and her rapidly healing injury was something she wasreluctant to let hold her back. What made her hesitate was that he would hesitate. Shedidn’t want to have him hold back, truth be told. She wanted to feel him, his love, his

desire, and his power. She wanted that since she first met him. To try and get that fromhim now would be fun, true, but perhaps just a tad less fun than she wanted.

Then she had a wicked idea.

“I understand my darling. After all, you are a big strong gentleman, and I know youwouldn’t want to accidentally hurt me,” she assured him.

He nodded both reluctantly and sympathetically. “I want to be with you too, Martha, butit is best we wait all the same.”

“Well, yes, we should wait before doing things together,” she nodded while shifting closerto him, “but that doesn’t mean I need to wait before doing something for you.”

He quirked his brow, “Martha? I don’t understand.”

She simply grinned impishly up at him as she slid the hand of her uninjured arm over thebulge in the front of his trousers, her minor ministrations quickly provoking the desiredresponse. Her curiosity about him had been great for a long while now, and as he grewhard at her gentle touch, she realized there was a great thing there for her to be curiousabout.

“Martha,” his voice was a husky whisper, a mixture of surprise and pleasure. “You donot… Damn,” he swore as tiny sparks of pleasure traveled up him while he fought toresist temptation.

“Of course not; this is something I want to do.” She hushed and gently worked him free ofhis trousers. She finally saw his member up close and bare for the first time, and whileshe never suspected she would be disappointed, she wasn’t anticipating the charged,almost apprehensive, reaction she felt spark through her. He was impressive in size. “Andit looks like it’s something you want me to do too! So, let us both enjoy ourselves, MyLord.”

She only had one hand she could easily use, and she couldn’t support herself with theother while she lay, so she was forced to lay on her back while she squeezed and heldhim. He was hot and extremely firm, throbbing with each touch. She loved the feel ofhim, and, while she longed for him to touch her, she knew that would defeat the point ofthe little game she had started.

“My Lady, that feels amazing,” he said breathily, clearly trying to maintain his composure.She was tickled. When all was said and done, she wanted him to take her, to claim her,this was true. But it was occasionally fun to let herself feel like she had his passions firmlyin her control, maybe even a bit literally.

James on the other hand was very much out of his element and wanted to take thatcontrol that she had offered him, but his concern for her was far too great andoutweighed his desire. His fists were clenched tightly at his sides as she gently strokedback and forth, slowly increasing in pace and pressure.

“I know this isn’t the same as expressing yourself as you desire to me, but I hope this is asuitable expression for the moment,” she purred at him, “and please, as we arecompromised in such a manner, you should really call me Martha in these moments.”

“The more you tease me, the worse it will be for you when there is nothing holding meback,” he said, voice constricted in pleasure but flecked with the authority that heplanned to give her when they shared a bed. Her grin widened.

“Why do you think I tease you?” she asked innocently while looking up at him.

All the Earl could reply with was a low growl from his throat, all of his concentration andwillpower committed elsewhere. She watched his eyes close to focus on her gentle touch.She liked the effect she was having on him but didn’t want him to take his eyes off of herand knew just how to get his attention again.

She gently took him into her mouth, wrapping her lips around him firmly. It took all of her

own willpower not to giggle when she watched, and felt, a shiver travel up through him.She was uncertain if he would prove too excited for her to handle, but she was eager tofind out.

“Martha!” he whispered with surprise and enthusiasm. He was excited at her initiativedespite his reluctance in regard to her arm. His breath had clearly grown much harsherand forced as she brought his pleasure to untold levels. While her injury may normallyhave made lovemaking quite difficult, the situation proved almost perfect for this sort ofcoupling, and Martha grew earnest in her need to show her lover her adoration for him.

“Your injuries be damned,” he grunted in frustration. She watched James' hands flex andgrip tightly at his sides, clearly fighting every urge he felt to reach out and touch her. Shewanted him to, so desperately, but didn’t want to overly frustrate him. Luckily, it was onlya moment later that she felt one hand gently cup her cheek as she attended to him. Theyclearly both wanted more, more force and physicality, but that gentle touch will do fornow. Even still, his fingers dug light, encouragingly, into her flesh.

“My Lady, I… I’m…” She knew what was coming, and she didn’t pull away. She wantedhim, all of him, no matter what, and would hold onto him as long as she could. James feltthe telltale fire and heat as it pulsed through him over and over. He would have sworn ittook longer to subside than it ever had before, and by the time he was spent, he foundhimself panting from exertion, despite having done little more but stand there.

In spite of her confidence, Martha still wanted to be assured of her lover's enjoyment.“Did that feel good, James?” she asked, trying to mask the nervousness in her voice.

He didn’t answer at first. A moment after she asked, not long enough to doubt, heanswered her with another kiss. A desperate and thankful kiss that was longer than theothers, one that was only a fraction of what he wanted to express to her.

“Thank you, my sweet Martha,” he whispered to her, his breath hot against her ear.

Neither wanted to wait for the other. Martha had given him what she did in the hopesthat it would abate their desire, slake their thirst for one another, if only for a short time.

They realized afterward, during that kiss, that she was mistaken. It quenched no flame,but only fed fuel to the fire and made them burn for one another that much moreintensely.

The wait had been hard before, but now it was agony. It was, thankfully, a wonderfulagony that they were sure would lead to a long-awaited, and desperately desired,release.

“L

Chapter Twenty-Eight

ord Barristen, I’m sure you have proved to be a proper caretaker in our absence, buther family is here now.” Benjamin’s voice always carried well despite being soft. Thesewere the words that awoke Martha and signaled to her that her family had arrived.

Actually, a messenger had arrived from Martha’s family days before. A letter had beensent ahead by Benjamin to inform both James and Martha that the roads were quicklydrying but still questionable. It told of the carriage they had at the ready, that they werechecking the roads hourly, and Emma, Barbara, and Benjamin would travel as soon aspossible.

“Obviously they are going to try and get here as fast as possible,” Martha remarked witha sigh. “I hope they find the roads safer than I did. Or at least take their time.”

“I’m sure your family is using sound judgment considering the circumstances,” Jamescommented as she read from the letter in her bed.

Martha nodded but frowned. “It would be a terrible irony for them to find themselves inthe same predicament while attempting to come here to tend to me.”

James would be the first to discover that it would be less than two days, if just barely.The Lady of Carrington’s family would arrive late in the night requiring James to wake thestaff and prepare them to be received. Normally, they would have been sent to theirrooms, but it became quickly obvious that they hadn’t eaten on the road, and a meal wasneeded for nourishment.

“How is Martha?” Emma eventually asked, clearly feeling revitalized by the bread andcheese that sat before her. The family members had asked upon their initial arrival, butafter he assured them that their dear Martha was sleeping peacefully, their minds turnedto the matters of room and board. Now, though, they had a chance to sit and discuss herwellbeing.

“She is doing well. Better than expected, actually,” James told them. “The initialassessments of her injuries were much direr than they turned out to be. I imagine shewill be up and about in a matter of days.”

Emma and Benjamin looked relieved, but their aunt looked wholly unsurprised. “As to beexpected. Martha was always the hardiest of the sisters. Least often sick and recoveringthe quickest when she was.”

“Still, it is a relief,” Emma followed up, “We will have to make sure to send word toHarriet and father so that they know what happened, but Martha is all right.” Emmasmiled tiredly, “And despite the road weariness, I cannot expect you to keep watch oversomeone who isn’t even your blood, My Lord.”

“It has been no trouble at all, Miss Johnson. Please, get your rest. We can sort out whocan take over in the morning,” James assured her.

“It would be terribly improper for me to make you tend to Martha longer; please My Lord,you deserve rest as much as the rest of us,” Emma said, encouraging James to let themtake over.

“I’m afraid I can’t, in all good conscience, leave the post I have created for myself,”James confessed. “I would feel far too much worry if anyone but me were to watch overher.”

Benjamin spoke the words that woke his sister before he sighed and straightened himselfup, asserting his role as present patriarch. “My Lord, I assure you that I understand thepeculiarities of the relationship between your lordship and my sister, it would be improperfor me to simply allow…”

“I love Lady Carrington,” James stated firmly, the interruption halted Benjamin andcaused Emma to look up in surprise. Only Aunt Barbara kept eating undeterred. “I loveher deeply and truly. And though our courtship may have been a tad unconventional, thatdoesn’t affect how much I care about her. And once she is well, I fully intend to marryher.” The silence that followed was heavy and awkward. “Following the proper protocolsand approval, of course,” James said a bit more uncertainly, and more silence followed.

“I believe, Benjamin, that such a course of action allows us to have a night's rest aftersuch travel, even at the detriment of the Lord of Barristen. Presuming,” Aunt Barbaraadded with a sly look over at James, “he will take the time to take care of himself at hisown home once morning arrives. I believe that would be an appropriate compromise,”she told her nephew before adding on, “if I were the one deciding on such matters, ofcourse.”

Benjamin pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, which as a gesture amplified theadvanced age his face seemed to hold for his twenty-nine years. He turned his gaze tothe oldest of his sisters, and Emma simply stared at him wordlessly through her owlishspectacles, only realizing with a start that he was looking to her for guidance. All she hadto offer was a sheepish shrug.

“I don’t know if this is necessarily the right decision, but I suppose we shall retire for theevening. Emma will take your place as soon as she feels ready, then we kindly requestyou use that time for yourself and allow us to reconcile with this accident as a family.Would that be acceptable to you, My Lord?” Benjamin asked rather tersely, clearlyexasperated by the complexity of the situation and the hand he was essentially forced toplay.

James let out a sigh of relief and dipped his head. “Thank you, Mr. Bradford. I appreciateyour consideration at this, frankly, confusing time.”

Benjamin returned the nod. “Yes, well, speaking of frankness, I am exhausted, and I wishto retire for the evening. I believe my aunt and my sister will be joining me. I stronglysuggest you don’t get too comfortable, My Lord, as you have a long night ahead of you,and I believe after all this contention that we will be quite cross if you fall asleep on the

job.” Benjamin’s words were harsh, but James could sense an undeniable element ofhumor hidden amongst them. That would be the only joke that he had ever heardBenjamin make, and it was a rough one at that.

When Martha awoke, she felt simultaneous delight and disappointment. Her sister Emmawaited beside her with a fresh face and a warm smile, but her dear James was nowhereto be found.

“Glad to see you're awake,” Emma said cheerfully. “I’ll have the cooks prepare breakfastfor you.”

“When did you arrive?” Martha asked.

“Late last night,” Emma told her. “We spared no time and left as soon as we could, ridingthrough the night. The horses weren’t happy, but we had no word of you and wanted toknow that you were okay.”

“I am doing very well,” Martha assured her sister.

“Oh, I am sure you are, with his lordship at your beck and call. I believe you will beabsolutely spoiled by the time you are up from your bed rest,” Emma tutted playfully.

“As nice as that has been, I honestly cannot wait until I am back on my own two feet andtending to myself again,” she said while passively thumping the mattress. “Speaking ofwhich, where is James?”

“Well,” Emma began, “he fought tooth and nail to stay by your side last night, and thecompromise we reached was that he must go this morning to tend to himself and his ownhome. Which is what he did, albeit a bit reluctantly.”

“Oh my,” Martha tried to hide her pleasure at James caring for her so fervently, “I hopehe didn’t give Benjamin too much trouble.”

“Well, his lordship certainly surprised us with the announcement of his intent, that is tobe sure. Not that the overall outcome is surprising, mind you,” Emma said with a bit of alaugh as she adjusted the curtains to let in the spring morning light.

There was a small pause before Martha asked, “What intent?”

D

Chapter Twenty-Nine

espite the circumstances, James was glad to be in his own home again. The firstthing he did was tend to his basic needs. After some sleep, a meal, and a shave,he felt reinvigorated, and, while he meant to busy himself in his study, instead he

was gallivanting about the house, playing with his daughter, and updating the house staffon Martha’s situation and positive turn. If one wanted to see an instance of a gentlemanin love, Lord Barristen was an example of it at its finest.

“Papa,” Amanda tugged at her father as he casually spoke about the state of the housewith a smiling Vickers, “did you make up with Lady Carrington?”

“Make up?” James asked, a bit confused.

“Amanda! What have we talked about? You shouldn’t ask improper questions about Lordsor Ladies,” Miss Blake hissed lightly behind the young lady before addressing her father,“I do apologize, My Lord.”

“But Papa is so much happier now, he must have made up,” Amanda said more quietly.

“Young lady!” Miss Blake snapped again.

“It’s quite all right, Miss Blake. This concerns her too,” James said before he turned toaddress his daughter. “Lady Carrington and I weren’t fighting, Amanda.”

“Then why were you so sad?” Amanda asked, and Miss Blake looked more flustered thanever.

James searched for the answer to her question, but it wasn’t an easy one. He didn’t wishto talk down to his daughter. She was such a bright young lady that it felt dishonest toher, but some things were out of a young girl’s scope.

“Sometimes, Lords and Ladies don’t know how to say the things they want to say, so itgets confusing. But we have sorted it all out now. In fact, can you keep a secret fromLady Carrington?”

“A secret?” Amanda asked with a combination of uncertainty and excitement.

“Mhm,” he said with a wink and a nod and leaned in close but did little to lower his voicesince this was a secret for the sake of his daughter only. “When the lady is feeling better,I am going to ask her to marry me.”

The young Amanda’s eyes grew so bright that her father swore that they were lighting upthe room. “You mean it?” she cried loudly in her excitement.

James, who was laughing and very amused at his daughter's excitement nodded. “I do.”

“I get to have a new mommy?” she practically shouted, this time loud enough to prompta very gentle shushing from James.

“If she says yes,” James nodded, not in doubt but simply as a fact. He scooped up andspun his daughter around in his arms, both of them spinning in joy and excitement.

“Oh of course she will, Papa!” Amanda said, and they laughed and spun, much to thedelight of the house and its servants.

Amanda and James were so busy celebrating, and so distracting to those around them,that no one noticed the one unhappy face amongst them, and thus they were unaware ofthe danger that lurked so closely by.

Emma chased her sister, first around her room, then through the manor house, shoutingand trying to get the attention of anyone who would listen. Even in her injured state, theblue-stocking sister proved unable to get her sister back into bed where she belonged.Benjamin and Barbara emerged from the dining room downstairs, their breakfasts leftsadly neglected, to see what the matter was.

“Benjamin, will you please help me talk some sense into her, so I can get her back intobed?!” Emma cried while her sister stiffly walked down the stairs, only the hint of a limpand a firm sling to indicate she was impaired at all.

“I will be happy to assist when someone informs me as to what is going on,” Benjaminused the tone that both sisters recognized from long ago, but not too long ago, whenBenjamin first started to assert his authority in his teenage years.

“Why, dear brother, did you send Lord Barristen away!?” Martha demanded, somehowboth angry and smiling with delight at the same time. “Especially if he was planning onproposing?!”

Benjamin’s cross look, which bore a striking resemblance to his normal resting face,turned towards Emma.

“Okay,” she admitted, “so I let it slip, but I thought it was obvious.”

Benjamin sighed and pinned the bridge of his nose again. “Whatever the circumstance, itwasn’t appropriate for him to stay. What does it matter whether he proposes today,tomorrow, or next Wednesday?”

Barbara tutted behind her nephew. “That was the wrong thing to say,” she commentedquietly.

“What does it matter?” Martha looked at her brother in astonishment. “Do you hold suchlittle value for both love and your sister? Have you grown so bitter?”

He held up his hands defensively. “I am not bitter; will you please be calm? You aregetting yourself worked up, and you still need rest. This is exactly why he didn’t tell youof his intent to begin with.”

Martha did a double take at her brother but then immediately willed herself to relax.

“You’re right. We cannot possibly get married, if I do not have my health.” She feltdeflated, and Emma and Benjamin immediately sympathized with her.

“Don’t worry,” Emma assured her. “He is going to want to ask you at the quickestopportunity. The gentleman is head over heels for you, truly.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Martha asked, her sunny disposition started to shine through again.

“Almost gratingly so,” Benjamin doubly assured her, “but it's important that you care foryourself above all else. I promise Lord Barristen will return. I doubt I could drive him off,no matter how I tried.”

Martha nodded, swaying a bit and grasping to support herself on her sister. “Oh my, I’mafraid I may have let the excitement get the best of me.”

Benjamin looked to Emma, who nodded to affirm she had a hold on her little sister.Emma gently escorted Martha upstairs and back to bed.

“Can you believe I did it?” Martha asked her sister wearily as she climbed back into bed.

“Did what, Martha?” her sister asked.

“I found a gentleman who will love me and take care of me,” Martha said with a smile.

“Of course, I believe it,” Emma practically scoffed.

“You do?” Martha blinked up at her older sister.

“You are a wonderful lady; any gentleman would be lucky to marry you. It doesn’tsurprise me that you ended up with one of the good ones, even if it took you a couple oftries.” Emma gave her sister a warm hug, and she finished tucking her in.

Before Emma could take a seat next to the bed, Martha waved her sister away sleepily. “Imay not be healed, but I am well enough to sleep in my chambers alone.”

Emma was about to argue, but her sister waved her off more instantly, so Emma left herto sleep, preferring Martha was calm and rested over everything else.

“V

Chapter Thirty

ickers, correct me if I am wrong, but am I not the one who is usually late for dinner?”James asked while glancing at the tall clock that marked meals in the dining room.

“That is a far more common trend,” Vickers remarked with a nod.

“Would you please check on my daughter and governess and see what delays them?” theEarl asked his valet.

“Of course,” Vickers replied with a nod and followed with a brisk step. He returned but amoment later looking concerned. “It would appear that neither Miss Blake nor LadyAmanda is in the classroom.”

James was unsure whether to be more concerned or confused. “Perhaps Amandawandered off? Though if that's the case, it is unusual for Miss Blake not to mention it andto slip off on her own.”

Vickers started to ask other house attendants if they had spotted either the young girl orthe governess, but not much luck could be had, and James grew increasinglyuncomfortable sitting and waiting at the table. Finally, he stood.

“Vickers organize a search. I’ll begin looking for them myself.” His voice betrayed moreconcern than indignation as he set out to search the house and grounds.

Martha awakened rather abruptly. At first, she thought it was extremely dark, the kind ofdark that only comes during the deepest parts of the night, but it quickly became clearthat something was wrong, especially as she struggled to draw breath and found hermouth and nose blocked. The panic cleared the sleep from her mind and revealed to herthe truth. Someone was covering her face and holding her down.

Martha flailed and fought, struggling to free herself from her attacker, but her weakenedstate made it all but impossible. The arms that held her down were strong but not terriblylarge. Suddenly light and air came to her all at once and with it a shriek of rage and pain.

Martha tried to orient herself but could barely comprehend what she saw in front of her.The room was dark, not pitch black as before, but the sun had recently set and robbedthe room of most of its light.

A taller figure, clad in a close tight dress struggled with a smaller figure that clung to herback, lashing out at the taller one. Eventually, the taller person grabbed the smaller offtheir back and hurled them at Martha. Martha caught the smaller person with her goodarm, recognizing her now that she was up close.

“Amanda?!”

The little girl’s face was scared and angry, and she pointed an accusing finger at theperson in the dark.

“You were going to hurt Martha!” she cried. “You can’t hurt my new mama!”

Martha looked at the shadow, baffled at who would want to hurt her or little Amanda. Ashaking hand lit a candle in front of their face, revealing Amanda’s governess, Miss Blake.Her face was stained with tears, and her hair had pulled free in the struggle and now flewlong and wild behind her. She stared daggers at both of them.

“This is the thanks I get from you, is it?” she half hissed and half sobbed at the child.“Rearing you like I would one of my very own for nearly a decade and you protect this...this harlot?”

“Miss Blake, I…” Martha began, more surprised than anything at this point.

“I think you have had enough of a chance to speak. Now it’s my turn,” Miss Blake snarledat her, and Martha quieted. “I have stood by My Lord’s side for ten years, loving him,raising his child, and doing everything I could for him. Then you show up and spread yourlegs and…”

“Excuse me!” Martha moved to put herself between Amanda and Miss Blake. “I don’tknow who you think you are, but you cannot talk to me like that no matter what issueyou have with me.”

Miss Blake nodded. “No, you are right. The time for talking has passed. James doesn’tknow how to make good choices; you are clearly evidence of that. I can’t just wait aroundfor him to understand that anymore. I need to show him the error of his ways.”

She crossed the lady’s bedroom towards the door. Martha stood to pursue her, and shesnapped around. “You will be staying right here, Lady Carrington.” The governessgrabbed a nearby curtain, yanking it from the window and piling it in front of the door.She dropped the candle into the pile of expensive fabric, which caught quickly andengulfed the doorway in a bright hot flame.

“Goodbye, My Lady,” Miss Blake spat and turned from the burning doorway.

The Earl and his household staff had searched the majority of his manor and found notrace of his daughter or her governess. James only had one place to look now. He hadexplained to Amanda that Martha needed to heal, but perhaps she had gotten tooimpatient or excited by the news. The greatest worry on James’ mind as he began towalk to the Carrington estate was that his daughter would ruin the surprise.

That was until he saw the smoke drifting from his love's home. He almost froze, almostlet the ball of ice that formed in his gut rob him of his ability to act, but the fear could nothold him from Martha. He would not allow harm to come to her.

He sprinted across the lawn, and, despite his swiftness, it still felt as though it took himfar too long. Standing in front of the Carrington house, he could now see that a goodsection of the exterior wall and roof was engulfed in flames. Household servants of allsorts sprinted to and fro as they tried to alert the right people and fetch water to battlethe flames and stop their spread.

James was about to head inside to help when Miss Blake walked out. Her hair was wildand whipped in the wind, kicked up by the heat. Her dark dress was twisted and tornaround her as if she had been attacked. Tears streaked her face, and she had clearlybeen crying.

“Miss Blake?! Heavens what happened to you?”

“My Lord, thank goodness you are here. You will never believe…” she began when shewas suddenly interrupted. From behind her, Letty emerged from the burning manor,followed closely by Benjamin, Emma, and Barbara.

Letty pointed at the governess, “There she is! I saw her! She fled from Lady Carrington’sroom with the fire already burning behind her!”

James' eyes shot to Miss Blake, and he knew from just a glance that what Letty said wastrue.

“Miss Blake? Why?” was all the Earl could muster in his disbelief.

“Why?” she returned his look of bewilderment. “Why? I served you loyally for years. Iraised your child as a good wife would! And how do you repay my love and devotion, My

Lord? You choose someone else. Even when I wrote that letter, you wouldn’t just let thattawdry relationship with her die. You had to keep fighting for her. But not me, never me.”Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she gritted her teeth. “Well, now I have returned yourloyalty in kind. You will learn that there will be consequences for treating Sarah Blake likesomeone who can be snubbed.”

James only grew more and more confused as she spoke. “Miss Blake, what are youtalking about? You aren’t making sense? Wait... you were the one who penned the letterpretending to be Martha?”

James suddenly heard frantic slamming and looked up to see a horrifying sight. Marthaand Amanda were pounding on the glass, trying to get his attention. The room they werein, Martha’s bedroom, was surrounded by the spreading fire.

“My God,” James cried and pushed Miss Blake aside to make his way into the house. Shetried to cling to him as he ran by, but he shoved her off without thinking, causing her totumble to the earth. She sat and sobbed as James sprinted into the burning home.

Inside, the heat on the first floor alone made him immediately begin to sweat.Thankfully, it had not yet spread this far, and this was where the majority of the staff thatbraved the interior worked. They carried buckets from the outdoors and the kitchen,sloshing water on the stairs and the walls and pulling down curtains. They wanted to limitthe fire's ability to spread any way they could.

James had little problem getting past the staff and up the stairs as most were avoidingthe path because that was the source of the heat and the danger. Once James hadreached the upstairs hallway, though, it became a labyrinth of smoke and heat. Hechoked his way to Martha’s room from memory alone.

When he reached the doorway, he was thankful to find the door open, but when he triedto cross the entryway, a familiar voice shouted above the roar of the fire.

“Stop!” Martha cried out only a moment before James would have fallen through a blackand flame-pitted hole in the floor. The fire had spread to the living room, creating a

deadly burning tempest below.

James looked across the pit, and on the other side stood his lover with his daughter in hisarms. The terrible déjà vu rocked him to his very core, and, for a brief moment, he didn’tknow what was real. A beam fell, causing his daughter to scream out, and he was shakenfrom his stupor.

“James,” Martha looked around desperately. “If we are careful, I can help Amanda over toyour side. You can take her outside and come back for me when she is safe.”

“No,” he said firmly. There was no negotiation in his voice. He knew it was the right thingto do, to try and protect his daughter, but he knew he couldn’t bring himself to leaveanother person behind to be consumed by fire. He had to try something else, anythingelse.

His eyes stopped on the beam that fell. He kicked at the end that still clung to thesupports, separating it at the joint that had weakened in the heat. Then he removed hiscoat and patted the heavy beam, so it was no longer alight. Using all of his strength, helifted the still hot beam and dropped it across the hole. It was far from safe. He heard thefloor groan with the displaced weight, but he knew it would support Amanda and Martha.

“Cross,” he shouted, “Quickly.”

Amanda ran across with surprising ease, the dexterous young lady nimbly crossing overthe pit that burned beneath her. Her father was waiting with open arms, and he pulledher close and held her tight before releasing her.

“Amanda, run to the stairs, quickly. Find Martha’s family outside,” James told her.

“But Papa-”

“Now! No buts! Go!” he shouted and pointed towards the staircase, turning to helpMartha once he knew Amanda was doing as she was told.

Martha had a much harder time. She couldn’t use one of her arms to balance herself andwas closer to the high smoke which made her eyes burn and water. Only a few stepsfrom the end, her foot caught in a pit of the beam, and she fell over the pit.

She screamed, but the acceleration suddenly and painfully stopped as James had leapedacross the beam and grabbed her by her good arm. The beam made a cracking soundand gave a sickening lurch. “I’m sorry, My Lady, this is not going to feel nice.”

“Wha…” Martha couldn’t even finish asking before James spun and threw her over theedge of the pit towards the hallway side. She landed hard, but she landed on solid floor.

The floor on both sides of the beam gave under James, caused by the sudden shifting ofboth of their weight. The beam started to slide into the inferno below, and Marthascreamed as she watched it and James disappear over the edge of the pit.

Martha swore she felt her heart stop right then and there. It beat again, suddenly andpainfully, when she saw James pull himself up over the edge, smokey and singed butsafe. Martha let out a choked sob as James pulled her into a brief, but tight, embracebefore picking her up and cradling her. He walked quickly to the staircase and past theservants who cried out in relief at the safety of their lady.

By the time James and Martha emerged from the burning home, they were covered insoot, and their clothes were dirty and burnt. James gently set his beloved down, and hisdaughter quickly took Martha’s place as she leaped into his arms. He looked from hisequally disheveled daughter to the lady by his side.

“We make quite the trio, don’t we?” he laughed weakly.

“Once again, Miss Letty, I find myself in your debt,” James told her as they stood to theside of the smoldering house. “I rarely find myself in such situations with my fellow Lords,but you have managed it on multiple occasions. How is that?”

“Luck, My Lord. I’m employed by the person you care about most. It makes me look good,when all I have done is my job,” she told him plainly. “Though I don’t know how long Iwill be employed, with the house of my employer a mighty heap of ash.”

“Don’t you worry about that, Letty. I will make certain that none of what happened heretoday goes unrecognized, especially you saving your lady’s life.”

James excused himself when he heard the heavy reinforced doors of the constablecarriage slam shut. He watched with a sad confused look on his face as Miss Blake wascarted away, her own eyes filled with deep anger and sorrow as she stared at himthrough the barred windows. He watched until the carriage turned, and her face was nolonger in view.

“What could have driven her to such extremes, I will never understand.” He turned backto his daughter, Martha, and her family. “I am truly sorry for all that has befallen youtoday. I can’t help but feel responsible.”

Benjamin looked at James like he had gone mad. “Are you serious? There is no…” Hestarted to lecture when Martha held up a finger. “It’s okay Benjamin. I know just what toask James for to make it up to me.”

Benjamin gave his sister an equally bizarre look.

“Of course, My Lady, I am in your debt. Anything you could ask for, it is my duty todeliver,” James told her somberly.

“You could ask me to marry you. That seems fair to me. Doesn’t it sound fair?” Marthaturned and asked Amanda.

“That sounds right,” the young girl said while nodding.

“Then I suppose that is what I will do.” His smile widened, and he moved closer to hissoon-to-be betrothed, but then he faltered. “Once I have had a proper bath, that is.”

Emma shook her head with a smile, and Benjamin sighed and shook his head in fauxagony. Aunt Barbara tried her best to seem disinterested with the entirely overly excitingday, but she eyed the couple with a small measure of satisfaction.

M

Chapter Thirty-One

artha would spend the remainder of her recovery in the Barristen estate. Withan injury, a fire, and living in the home of a gentleman who was to be, but wasnot yet, her betrothed, it was unsurprising that the rumor mill erupted during

the short period. The sheer scandal of everything could not be avoided.

Luckily, the Lord and Lady in question were the only ones of any status involved, so bythe time any details got to another within the ton, they had become so twisted that theycould barely be recognized. Who set the fire and the cause of the lady’s injuries variedwildly from telling to telling. At first, they distressed and frustrated James, but Marthawas able to convince him that little real ill would come of it, and he too learned to laughat the absurdity of it.

James invited the remainder of the family, Emma, Benjamin, and Aunt Barbara, to stay aslong as they like. In truth he expected them to stay until the wedding, one that wasobviously going to occur despite the lack of an official proposition, but he was surprised todescend from his room one morning to find Martha wishing them a fond farewell.

He blinked with surprise. “I presumed everyone would want to stay for the wedding.”

Benjamin cleared his throat. “Normally, yes, but all this excitement has kept me awayfrom my duties for far too long. And, in light of our father and sister's absence and yourdisinclination to wait…” Benjamin held up a hand when Martha went to speak, “Not that Iblame you. Still, it is probably best that I return home.”

“I see, well I can’t say that I will hold it against you,” James nodded. “You will always be

welcome in my home. And Benjamin, about my suspicions…”

Benjamin signed and shook his head. “No ill feelings on my part. While I did resent theassumption at the time, I know I can be a little... brusque for my own good.” He clearedhis throat awkwardly, “Rest assured that I will be coming to visit the first free instance Ihave.”

James thanked Benjamin and turned to Aunt Barbara, who gave a weary smile. “Frankly,My Lord, I am tired and long for the comfort of my own home. You will get on well fromthis point, and I will need to reserve myself for the next family emergency, since theyappear to occur with regular frequency.”

Finally, James turned to Emma, who looked surprisingly shy compared to all the othertimes they had spoken. “Perfectly honest, My Lord, I would like to stay for my sister’swedding, but seeing as all of my other family thought now would be a good time to moveon, it seemed to me to be an infringement to overstay my welcome.”

James let out a faux gasp of offense. “Why Miss Emma Bradford, we are soon to befamily. You are just as welcome here now as any other time. Please, stay with us and forus. The celebration might not be large, but you are more than welcome.” James did notlook to Martha before extending this invitation; he knew her well enough that he knewthat Emma staying, if that's what she wanted, was important.

Emma blushed bright red and seemed to go and back and forth for a moment before shenodded excitedly, which made James and Martha laugh and Emma blush all the more.

James shook his head sleepily and tried to assess what had woken him from his slumber.There it was again, a gentle, soft knocking on the door.

“James,” the voice came softly from the other side of the door, but he easily recognized itas Martha’s. James crossed the room to the door with a mixture of excitement andconcern. He didn’t want to assume why his betrothed was there, but their late-night visitshad been certainly quite exciting up to this point.

Any presumption of an evening rendezvous disappeared when he opened the door andsaw her face. She was distraught, and James wished to do nothing more than to ease herpain, whatever the cause may be.

“My dearest Martha, what is it? What has caused you such pain?” he asked as he usheredher into the room so that he could hold her close and bring her comfort. His words and histouch seemed to only upset her more, though.

He pulled a chair up, so that he sat across from her, and she started to silently weep,tears running down her cheeks as she lightly dabbed them away.

“Martha, darling, what is the matter?”

“I haven’t been completely honest with you. And I fear you won’t want to marry me, nomatter what we've been through, and it will be all my fault.” Her tears turned into chokedsobs as she tried to speak through them.

James soothed her and pulled her into his arms, running his hand gently through her hair.“It’s okay, my love. Tell me what makes you so afraid I will leave you. I will listen, and Iwill do so as someone who loves you. It is safe to talk to me,” he assured her.

“My husband, his errant ways were his own. I have no scruples about that judgment, buthis justification for straying from our marriage bed... is not without merit,” Martha said,her voice somehow both weak and shaking with anger at the same time.

“I cannot possibly believe there was ever a valid justification for such egregiousbehavior,” James said with conviction, distraught that his Martha could think somethinglike that of someone who had harmed her so.

“He wanted a child, James, a child that I couldn’t give him. That I could never give

anyone,” she confessed, “that I can’t give ever.”

“Ah,” The single syllable was followed by a heavy silence, and it felt far too long beforeJames spoke again. “I’ll be honest with you, Martha, that is a blow I wasn’t expecting,”

She nodded weakly, averting her gaze.

“It doesn’t change how I feel, though.”

She looked up at him, his words catching her off guard. “What?”

“Children are important. My child is important to me. But having a child isn’t why I am ina relationship with you, Martha. I am in a relationship with you because,” he paused,searching for the perfect words, “because I know they are important to you too. I’ve seenhow you’ve treated my daughter. I know you care. What we share, what we care about,are the same things. That is why I love you. That is why I want to be with you. Whetheror not you can have children isn’t important to me, as silly as that might sound.”

Before James could even finish speaking, Martha wrapped her arms around him. Sherested her face against his chest, shivering.

James thought he had upset her again, until he realized that she was saying something.He moved back to hear the muffled words more clearly. “Thank you,” Martha wasrepeating, over and over again.

“You don’t have to thank me, Martha. I love you, and I know you love me. It is no greatfavor I am doing you by being with you. We reward each other, cherish each other withlove. It is not a debt; it is how we are enriched in our souls,” James told her as he kissedher forehead gently over and over.

She moved and brought the final kiss to his lips, not a passionate one but gentle and

grateful. Each and every moment James didn’t just make her grateful that he was him,but also that she was her.

I

Chapter Thirty-Two

n the brief time before the wedding, James and Martha often used teatime to graspat the brief moments of privacy they could share. This often led to more physicalforms of affection, such as the kiss they now shared. The kiss grew more intimate,

the sense of desire lingering on the edges of it when they were both startled by a knockon the library door. Their tea was rarely interrupted.

“My Lord,” the voice was muffled through the door, but Vickers still sounded bemused.“You have a visitor. They appear quite confused but said that they were expected.”

“Visitor?” Martha looked at him questioningly.

“I was not expecting anyone, certainly not at this time.” James gently released her andsmoothed himself over. “As the future lady of my house, would you care to join me ininvestigating this odd turn of events.”

“If only to resolve it quickly, so we may return to our tea,” Martha teased.

The visitor in question was an elderly priest who, just as James and Martha, seemedquite confused about his presence there. As they entered, the priest stood and tipped hishead towards Martha.

“Lady Barristen, I presume,” he said, his voice cracked but wholly warm and kind.

Martha was baffled how this man could know of a situation that only transpired momentsago in private, but James was quick to correct. “I am Lord Barristen, and this is mybetrothed Lady Carrington.” Martha’s heart beat happily at being referred to as James’betrothed. “As of now, there is no Lady Barristen.”

The priest looked even more confused than before and reached into his robes to pull fortha letter addressed to him.

“That cannot be, for I received this letter from a Lady Barristen requesting my presenceon a matter of dire religious importance. Normally, I would have written back about thevagueness of the matter, but when I heard about the nearby fire, I was worried the twomight have been related and decided to come in person to evaluate the seriousness ofthe situation. Though, it appears I may have come in error.” He seemed befuddled by theuncertainty of goings-on and was searching for answers, none of which either of themcould provide.

“Well, there was a fire,” Martha mused, “but I don’t see what that has to do with-”

“You came!” a voice cried from behind them, and a moment later Amanda was sprintingacross the room. “You came, Father Jacob.”

“Yes, I did,” the old man’s confused response was offset by his delight and the energyfrom the young lady, “but I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage, my dear. You knowme, but I don’t know you.”

“Don’t be silly, Father Jacob. You were the one who baptized me,” Amanda tutted thepriest.

Father Jacob seemed to pull the memory from a faraway place. “Little Amanda Williams,of course. Silly of me to forget the daughter of the Lord of Barristen.”

At this James quietly gasped. “Of course, Father Jacob. Forgive me for not recognizingyou! It's been years.”

“Yes, I had changed parish’s many years ago, but the summons, that I now must assumewas directed a little closer, still found its way to me in Bolton.”

James sighed, “Of course, you were summoned by Lady Barristen.” He turned to look athis daughter, not mad as of yet but bemused. “Little one, why did you send a letter toFather Jacob?”

“Well, don’t you need a priest to get married?” Amanda asked matter-of-factly.

Martha knew there was no way Amanda could have known. “But, Amanda, sweetie, for aletter to reach Bolton would take at least two weeks, one way. So, you would to havesent that letter…?”

Amanda nodded astutely, “Mhm, I wrote him a while ago. I was worried he wouldn’tcome.”

“But that was before Martha and I had even discussed… getting married. We weren’tcourting. Why would you send the letter then?” James asked, absolutely bewildered.

“You and Lady Carrington were in love,” Amanda said as if she were confused by theobviousness of the question. “People who are in love get married. Oh! Now that FatherJacob is here, will the two of you get married?”

James and Martha shared uncertain looks.

“I’m sure Father Jacob didn’t come here to perform a wedding, Amanda,” Marthadeflected.

The priest cleared his throat. “The exact nature of the situation was not made clear tome, so it seemed sensible to me to bring supplies to deal with a wide array of situations.I believe I could officiate a marriage if the demand was there.” He shook his head andscoffed as if he were being foolish. “Of course, you two are betrothed; I am sure you havea wedding planned. No need to change plans on my account,” he assured them.

“Actually,” James said, “we hadn’t gotten around to any of that.” He turned to look atMartha. ‘Do you want to get married?”

“I know it didn’t start off on purpose, but at some point, the two of you conspiratoriallyagreed to make your courtship as inconvenient as possible, I swear,” Emma griped as thetwo of them sorted through their combined wardrobes to pick the best possible outfits.

“I have waited too long to marry a man who truly loved me. I say this with my utmostlove, Emma, but I am unconcerned with how it inconveniences others.” Martha’s face wasbright with excitement as she picked up her nicest dress.

“That's the dress you married Antony in,” Emma remarked flatly about the grey piece. Itwas elegant but foreboding like a storm.

“It is,” Martha sighed, “that's why it is the nicest dress to survive the fire. I tucked it awayin storage. I suppose I should wear it. It was so expensive, and I could... I’m not sure. Icould reclaim this dress for me. That day for me. Do marriage right this time.”

Emma mused for a moment. “I may not be an expert about love, but I don’t think youneed to do that.”

“No?” Martha asked.

Emma shook her head. “You love James, and I don’t think you would define that love asexisting because of your late husband. This isn’t a second love, Martha; it's just love. No

need to put all that on top of it, when it doesn’t belong there to begin with.”

“Yes, yes I believe you are right, Emma,” Martha agreed, tucking the dress back in thepaper wrapping she had retrieved it from.

“Now I know I saw it somewhere around here,” Emma murmured to herself. “Ah, here itis!” She picked up a different mass of paper. “Don’t you think this would be appropriate?”She asked, unfolding it for Martha to see.

In Emma’s hands was the dress Martha wore the night of the ball.

“Oh yes, that is perfect isn’t it,” Martha said with a wide smile. She was thankful hersister had chosen to stay, for this moment and the many more that were sure to comeafter her wedding.

The spring downpour, and the sunny days that followed had turned the gardens of thelavish homes verdant with greenery, both intentional and otherwise. It was here,surrounded by flowers, butterflies, and the smell of rich earth, that James and Marthadecided to have their wedding.

While the house happily buzzed with excitement, preparing the celebratory dinner forafterward, the ceremony in the garden was a small affair, featuring only the priest, thebride, the groom, Emma, and Amanda. The Lord and Lady stood holding hands, and thepriest placed the heavy book on a humble table that had been moved to the garden.They recited their vows with their family smiling at their sides and then signed theirnames in the book to affirm their marriage in official church records. Such a simple thingto sign their names, but they had done few things with more excitement and happinessbefore.

James and Martha had few friends to invite to the wedding to begin with, so neither ofthem suffered much guilt when it came to the smallness of the affair. In fact, both werehappy to share the wedding dinner with their households’ staffs. Martha’s people hadbeen a bit on the down and out since the fire, and they were happy for a chance to

celebrate. James’ household was shaken by the circumstances surrounding Miss Blakeand was happy for something to distract themselves as well.

Emma was her usual demure self, enjoying the brief ceremony, the food, andentertainment from the sidelines but generally appreciating the company. She seemedhappy that no one in the household seemed brave enough to ask the sister of a lady todance.

Amanda was the exact opposite. She danced and sang with whoever would let her do so.She was especially clingy to Martha, overjoyed that there was a matron of the house.

“Do you suppose she will think of me as her mother if I give her time?” Martha askedJames tentatively, also not wanting to upset her new husband's perception of her role inthe family.

James smiled, “I am surprised she isn’t already calling you mama. Though it may bebecause you're the only lady she has met who lets her refer to her by her first name.”

“Maybe. When you put it that way I don’t know if I want her to stop calling me Martha,”the lady said with an oddly youthful pout.

James, very much in a good mood, laughed heartily at this, which made Martha pout allthe more. “Sorry, my dearest. I just know my daughter very well. There will come a timewhere you will beg her to stop calling you Martha, I promise.”

After dinner and festivities began to wind down, it seemed Amanda tried to make a pointof proving James right. In reality, Amanda was simply excited to have a mother, a realmother, for the first time in her young memory.

She brought Martha to every room in the house that had been assigned to Amanda:playroom, classroom, and bedroom. In each room where Amanda had been allowed toleave her mark, she now wanted Martha’s approval too. Not to mention the half-dozen

stories attached to each and every object the rooms held.

This went on long into the night. James occasionally would pop in to admire his wife andchild together and to watch them interact. He saw no need to try and intercede. He wasdelighted at how happy Martha was. Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps, in the best of ways,Amanda and Martha were perfectly suited for one another.

“Martha?” Amanda asked before letting out a long gentle yawn.

“Yes, darling?” Martha asked the child she already held in her heart as her daughter.

“Are you going to be my mom from now on?” the child asked curiously. Martha knewAmanda was a smart young lady but wasn’t sure how much she understood the nature ofthese things. Martha was happy to deliver the news all the same.

“I will, little one. I will be your mother for the rest of my life, I promise,” she said, runninga hand gently through Amanda’s hair.

“That's good.” She gave another longer yawn, rested her head in her new mother’s lap,and drifted to sleep, tired from the day's events.

J

Chapter Thirty-Three

ames and Martha laid little Amanda in her bed and gently shut the door behindthem before silently adjourning in the direction of their chambers. An onlookermay have judged the two for youths who had finally managed to sneak awayfrom the watchful eye of their chaperones, such was the glint of excitement they

had in their eyes. They were not foolish enough to run down the hall though, the hints ofdecorum still holding them that much. In a sort of compromise, they did hold hands asthey walked to the bedroom, both smiling widely.

As James closed the door to their bedroom, he paused for a moment. “It is an interestingthing, isn’t it, to be married a second time?”

“How do you mean, my dear husband?” James turned as she spoke and saw that she wasbehind the changing screen. A bit of a peculiar choice on a wedding night, but he wouldn’tcriticize her for being shy.

“What I mean is that neither of us is inexperienced, per se, in the way that may havebeen true on our first wedding night.” He smiled a bit to himself. “I am far more excitedthan nervous, but on my first wedding night the reverse was true.”

“I would say that I share that sensibility.” Martha came walking out from behind thescreen. “What do you think?” she asked with enthusiasm.

James was expecting something of a nice undergarment. He was not expecting for hiswife to appear before him nude for the first time with little warning. “You’ll have toforgive my surprise, My Lady, it's not often that I am blindsided by beauty.”

Martha giggled, then her brashness turned to embarrassment, covering herself with herhands. “Stop, you are absolutely terrible to ridicule me like this.”

“Oh no, my dearest.” He strode towards her confidently while removing his own layers. “Icannot believe that I thought to guess how beautiful you were beneath your clothes, but Idid you a disservice.”

She was close to him now and leaned her bare chest to his as he finished disrobing.

“You were trying to imagine what was under my clothes?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“Hush,” he told her and kissed her firmly, her hands running through the hair hangingover her chest as his hand grasped her smooth bare flesh for the first time.

James had told Martha that he was still a little nervous, but if that was the case, hewasn’t showing it at all. He picked her up and playfully tossed her on the bed beforeclimbing up with her. He kept kissing her all over, each kiss sending more sparks up anddown her body as she grew warmer and warmer.

They pulled and tugged at each other, trying to get closer and closer to one another, tofeel each other, hold each other, make each other feel what they were feeling. Eachsecond was more charged and more exciting than the last.

“I cannot believe how long we waited to do this,” Martha gasped as one of his handscupped her breast and squeezed her.

“Are you suggesting we should have done this sooner? How crass Mrs. Williams,” heteased her, his hands and mouth continuing to entice and antagonize, touching her inways she didn’t know she could be touched.

“And you are telling me that if I had shown up naked before we married, you would havebeen able to resist?” she countered coyly, and he smiled at her. That coyness began tomelt as she felt the familiar trail of kisses tracing their way downward.

She thought she was prepared to feel his mouth this time, but just as before she felt theroot of her very thoughts being grasped and shaken from her head. She felt so amazingthat she lost any sort of train of thought, reducing her to a mess of emotions and urges,and his lips had only just found the inside of her thighs. Her hands gripped the hair on hishead and held tightly to him, loving each and every touch from his mouth, both rough andgentle.

Again, the sensation was both familiar and earth-shattering. She was surprised at howmuch more quickly the waves of pleasure mounted and overlapped this time like his verytouch was enough to draw the feelings forth from her, and this kind of kissing was able todo so much more. She felt her body buck and beg at the attentions of his hungry mouth,clearly willing to express her desire for more where her words failed her.

Right as she rode up to the cusp, she felt him pull away. “W… what?” she panted andgasped. “Why did you stop?” she practically mewled.

“I wanted to make love to you as you experienced the height of moment, finish togetherwith you,” he said with a covetous grin.

She looked at him, breathing deeply. “I want to feel you too, James. Want that more thanI’ve ever wanted anything, I think.”

She felt herself ebb and flow, pulsing around that edge as James righted himself. Themoment she felt him touch her, just the faintest hint of his closeness, that pulsingintensified to an almost unbearable point. “Oh, James, hurry. I cannot wait any longer,and it is cruel to torture your love as such,” she pleaded.

That was when he finally entered her. And the moment was everything she ever wantedit to be. The feeling of heat, of him so close and so strong. She enveloped him and pulledhim close. Her nails dug into his back roughly. The pleasure was so intense that she

almost forgot that he wasn’t moving yet.

A few moments after he began to move, she plummeted over that edge for the first time,crying out at the beautiful feelings that were flooding her.

“You feel amazing, Martha,” he gasped. She almost had the sense to feel bad aboutscratching his back, but with each pulse they shared, she couldn’t help but dig in deeper.Truth be told, he seemed to move harder the more she dug her nails into him, but shedidn’t really have the power of the mind to make this correlation at the moment.

Martha thought that perhaps what she would prefer was a gentler lover than her previoushusband, but that didn’t really turn out to be the case. James was no gentler, not really.In some ways he was stronger and handled her more aggressively. James would grab heras he thrust to gain more leverage. But he was kind and considerate, listening to herwants and needs, so that she was both comfortable and enjoying herself. That was whatshe really wanted.

And she was enjoying herself more than she ever had before.

“Oh, James, I can’t believe how good you make me feel. It’s like a dream come true,” sheconfessed.

“Martha, you are all I want, and dammit I want all of you,” he gasped and reinvigoratedhis efforts all the more, making her call out.

Now, Martha was not naive, not by a long shot, but something she was ignorant of andwas not anticipating was switching positions. She was intuitive enough to catch onquickly; it just never occurred to her, and never had been proposed to her, that one couldmake love any way but with the lady on her back and the gentleman on top.

So, she couldn’t help but cry out in a mixture of pleasure and surprise when James, withrelative ease considering his strength and size, picked her up and positioned them in a

sitting position, her in his lap and facing him, her legs pointing behind him.

His eager enthusiasm waned a tad with her surprise. “Are you all right, my love?” Hisvoice was full of concern.

She showed him how eager she was to keep going by kissing him hard on the mouth, andhe was more than happy to oblige. Martha was astounded by how different this felt. Stillamazing, but the places that were touched, the sensations she felt as he had full controlof their pace, and the feeling of his strong hands gripping tightly to her hips wasexhilarating.

Not only did she feel good, but she would realize later that she felt safe in his control.That was a feeling she never experienced before. She doubted she could experience itwith anyone else.

She felt the crest building up all over again, much stronger the second time around. “Oh,James! I… I…”

“Together,” was all he could manage, his own concentration lost in the pleasure that theywere sharing. As she tumbled over into the deep bliss that came from sharing hermarriage bed with the gentleman she loved, she felt her husband follow soon after, hotand deep, and each throb pushing the sensation somehow deeper and to new heights.

They collapsed in each other's arms, breathing and panting heavily. All the waiting hadbeen worth it, in a way. The moment that Martha and James shared was the first truetaste of bliss they felt in a long time, and they shared this bliss into the night as the worldfaded to dark around both of them and sleep took them in the exhaustion that came withthe expression of their intimacy.

Martha awoke a bit disoriented. The room and the sensation of waking against anotherwarm body was not a one she associated with pleasant memories. It took but a briefglance to affirm to her that she was not back with her cad of a first husband. Jamesshared her bed.

Now that the moment was a little less heated, and the golden radiance of sunrise filledthe room, she wanted to take a better look his naked form.

Not surprisingly, James was muscular. It would have taken some impressive trickery ofclothes to create an illusion of James’ build. No, he was all muscle, something thatMartha didn’t necessarily look for in a husband but was happy to admire, since she hadthe opportunity.

She smiled to herself with a mixture of pride and embarrassment when she saw thescratch marks that traced his shoulders and upper arms, sure that they continued onto hisback.

Admiring James reignited the fire within her that had been quenched last night. Desirehad always been a funny ailment in Martha’s mind. The more she fed it, the hungrier itseemed to grow. Still, this had become a non-issue. Now she could indulge that hunger,that fire, whenever she wanted, couldn’t she?

She saw no reason to stop herself now, at least.

Her hands gently traced over his muscular thighs and up to grasp him once more. He feltheavy in her hands, despite not being at his readiest yet. He was quick to change in herhands though, despite not being fully awake. He had begun to stir the moment shestarted touching him, but only now that she had grown more earnest in her squeezingand massaging did he start to fully awaken.

“Martha?” his voice was more sleepy than confused. “Didn’t expect you to be thisinterested upon awakening. Not even a little breakfast first?” He was taunting her butthat didn’t do anything to discourage her touching.

In turn, she answered with her mouth but not out loud. The sensation of his warmth andfullness was something she had relished last time she had the opportunity to treat him to

such and had been eagerly awaiting her next opportunity. James looked happy as heslowly became more and more awake, apparently more than content with his new wife’schoice on how to awaken her husband the day after their wedding.

“James, take me. Take and show me you want me,” Martha begged him, and James waskeen to oblige her every desire, especially this one. Over and over, long into the morning,they entangled themselves, exhaustion proving to have little effect on the long-stokedfires of their desire. Each time one of them thought they had finally reached their physicallimit, the other would do something to ignite them all over. A kiss here, a lick there, abite, and the whole affair would begin again with renewed vigor.

James showed Martha each and every technique he knew for the bedroom, and they evendiscovered a few new ones together. In exchange, Martha was an eager pupil, soaking upevery morsel offered to her with robust enthusiasm. It was true that they ignited oneanother, but Martha was the match to James’ tinder.

Eventually, and with just a hint of embarrassment, they realized that they had lost a goodportion of the morning and some of the afternoon as well. It was with a tad moreembarrassment that they realized a meal had been left outside the door for them.

“I am a bit ashamed that I got carried away,” James confessed as they ate the bread andcheese that had been left on a tray. “I had intended to arrange our honeymoon thismorning, but it would seem that my urges got the best of me.”

“Are you saying that I should be ashamed as well, James, because I shared those urgeswith you?” she tutted coyly.

“Not at all my dear. It's just as the gentleman…” he began.

“As the gentleman, you are responsible for only half of the arrangement. I would notparticipate, if I didn’t fully want to in return. I may allow many things in the bedroom,James, but I am my own lady at all times. And that includes when I participate in thingswe are, wickedly I might add, guilty of together.”

He smiled, taking her lecture in good nature but to heart at the same time. “Of course,my love.”

“Now, circling back, what was this about a honeymoon?” she asked in faux nonchalance.

“B

Epilogue

ut why can’t I come with you?” Amanda groaned and kicked her feet as she sat onthe end of her bed. James stood in front of her and addressed her directly while Marthamilled about behind him, getting clothes and such ready for a trip.

“This is our honeymoon, little one. It’s a trip just for Mamas and Papas. After you getmarried you go on a special trip to celebrate, just the two of you.” James explained verypatiently, even though it was the third time he had answered this question. He wasn’tbothered; he could understand why his daughter was upset.

“That doesn’t seem fair at all,” she huffed and kicked the bed.

James was about to say more, when he felt the gentle touch of his wife from behind him.

“Now, Amanda sweetie, I know you feel that way now. Consider though that you will getmarried someday. I am sure you wouldn’t want your father and me to come on yourspecial trip,” Martha explained.

Amanda seemed to think about this long and hard. “I guess not.”

“And your Aunt Emma will be here. Don’t you want to get to know your new aunt? I thinkthat sounds like a lot of fun,” Martha said encouragingly.

“I suppose. I would rather be playing with Mama Martha,” Amanda admitted while shepouted. James smiled, and Martha sat next to her and put an arm around the young girl.“I appreciate that my little one, and I promise we are going to have so much time to playwhen we get back.”

“Really?” Amanda asked, giving her new mother a teary wide-eyed look.

“Most certainly,” she said and kissed her daughter on the forehead. “Now why don’t yougo on and make a list of all the fun things you will do while we are gone. I am surethinking of it will cheer you up.”

The young lady nodded eagerly and hopped off the bed, practically skipping out of theroom.

“Very skillfully handled, my darling,” James said, his voice filled with admiration. “You’vetaken to motherhood with exceptional skill. More than exceptional, even.”

“Do you really think so?” she asked James. “I never believed I was naturally inclined tomotherhood, given the circumstance, and was worried I wouldn’t make a fitting one. Donot misunderstand, I am so happy to finally have the title. I just want to be certain that itis fitting.”

“I think it makes sense that you would be a good mother,” James remarked as he lookedover their clothes that had been set aside for the trip.

“Why is that?” she laughed.

“Besides the fact that you are a considerate and thoughtful lady? Well, you wantedchildren? Despite being unable to have them?” James inquired.

“Yes, something that always felt rather cruel to me,” she admitted with a touch of

bitterness.

“Well, I would understand that. I have spent no small amount of my life cursing theunfairness of life. But I was thinking... you would be drawn to children. It is only naturalthat you would eventually find a child in need of a mother. Therefore, you must haveknown, perhaps someplace deep down, that you would be a kind and loving mother.”

“Perhaps,” Martha mused. She didn’t completely agree with James, but she felt thesentiment warm her heart, and that was what counted for her. “Would you, perhaps, bewilling to again recount your plans for our honeymoon once more?”

James' pleasant smile became a grin. “You seem so enthralled, my dear. I keep tellingyou not to get your hopes up, that it is only what I managed to arrange on short notice.”

“Oh, but it sounds so terribly exciting. I certainly think my sisters will be absolutely greenwith envy when I recount the tales upon my return,” she said eagerly and with a smallmeasure of pride.

“Far be it from me to encourage you to compete with your sisters, especially when I haveyet to meet your Harriet and her husband, but I suppose if it would please you to reviewour itinerary, then I won’t deny you.” James strolled over to a small desk he kept in thebedroom, a miniature of the one in his study, and pulled out a leather folder. Heunwrapped it and opened it up. “The exporter I invested in, Killan & Company, recentlypurchased the latest innovation in shipping technology, a ship powered by a steamengine. They want to stress test it first and gauge the cost and liability of such a vesselalong our usual French route. Since the ship will only have a bare running crew, I thoughtit would be a good opportunity for us to see the coastal cities of France.”

“And you promised this is not an excuse to do work on our honeymoon?” She smiled athim and he laughed and shook his head.

“No, I only thought of it because one of my associates, a Mr. Page, suggested the idea. Ibelieve he said ‘it would be more than a might bit romantic’ if I recall correctly.”

Martha all but giggled with delight, “And, dear husband, please remind me how long wewill be gone?”

“Well,” he looked over the itinerary thoroughly. He knew the answer to her question.They both did, but he wanted to play up the answer for her. “The exact timing is a littleuncertain, seeing as we don’t know exactly how the ship will perform. But if we leavefrom Hastings, cross the channel, and stop at Dieppe, Le Havre, and then a long stop atPort Guillaume before we turn around and head back. Including travel time to and fromthe coast, it is most probable that we will return in a month's time.”

“A whole month in France on my honeymoon,” Martha sighed with delight. “If you hadtold me when I was a little girl that this would ever happen to me, I wouldn’t havebelieved you for a moment.”

“You must have been a very incredulous child,” James teased.

Martha hushed him before planting a kiss on his lips. She felt his hand slide from her hipto her thigh and push the hem of her skirt a bit higher to touch her bare flesh.

“Mm, you still need to finish packing, my husband,” Martha cooed and ran her fingertipsover his vest, toying with the buttons.

“Vickers always packs for me,” James admitted. “What do you say we make use of thetime in a different way?” The hand squeezing her thigh pushed the hem of her skirthigher and squeezed her buttock.

Martha let out a little yelp but not a discouraging one. “Lord Barristen! Here I thought Ihad married a tender gentleman not some sort of snorting stud, and now I find youpawing the earth outside my paddock.”

James laughed at her and leaned in to drag his lips along her neck. He relished the smallneedful gasp his kiss elicited and whispered in her ear, “Are you turning me away?”

“No,” she said breathily. “I’m telling you to go lock the door.”

James strode across the room and securely locked the door. By the time he turned backaround, Martha had unfastened her skirt and let it slide to the floor. James returned toher in a bolt, kissing her voraciously, wanting all of her. It amazed him how much hewanted her. Not that he had any doubt in her beauty or the pleasure she gave him, buthe was surprised at how quickly she could reignite him.

He pressed her to the wall, kissing and touching her roughly. James had never felt he wasa rough person, especially not in the bedroom, but something in Martha conjured it inhim. He didn’t hesitate as he might have before, her moans and tiny cries of pleasureencouraged him and told him that this was what she wanted from him.

The time it would take to get her into the bed was too long. He had to have her now.

He picked her up by her waist, her little yelp turning from surprise to excitement as shegripped his shoulders to support herself. His grip shifted from her waist to beneath herhips to her thighs, and he rested her on the wall behind her.

They moved together like that, him supporting her and using the weight and momentumto drive them closer together, harder each time. His need for her pushing reason fartherand farther from his mind as he devoured her.

“Oh James, Oh!” she gasped and writhed against him. “No one has ever made me feellike this. I feel like you are driving me crazy!” She cried out and pulled herself againsthim, letting him have all of her and trusting him to protect her even in his abandon. Thatwas the trust they shared and because that trust was there, they could indulge and drinkdeeply from the well of passion that lay deep beneath the surface.

They both reached the peak of pleasure within moments of one another, leaving themweak and panting against the wall. James summoned the last of his strength and carriedhis wife over to the bed and laid her down gently to recover.

“I don’t want that to ever feel any different. It is just so perfect every time,” she confidedin him between light little gasps as she caught her breath.

“I was just thinking the same thing,” he told her with a smile and planted a kiss on herforehead.

There were only two things that differentiated the couple’s honeymoon from a jauntyweekend country ride. The first was a definite feeling in the air of how long the Earlwould be away. As joyous as the reason was, his presence was always valued on hislands and in his home, and he would be missed.

So too, in fact, would his new lady, as she had proven to host all the qualities they hadcome to value from their Lord, and thus felt doubly blessed.

The other, and slightly more unorthodox reasoning, was the arrival and preparations ofMr. Page to accompany them on the trip.

“Unfortunate as it is, my dear, it is the small price we pay for the conveniences of thetrip. He is a respected liaison of Killian and Company and often acts as the eyes of theother investors. He will only share the carriage with us for a short time and has assuredme he will give us our distance on the ship,” James explained to her when she expressedher slight disappointment at the man’s presence.

The morning they left was a foggy one. The carriage had been arranged in front of thehouse, and everything loaded up. The Lord and Lady, their daughter, Emma, and Vickersstood outside, breathing in the dense warm air as they said their goodbyes.

“I trust that I leave Barristen in good hands, Vickers. My business affairs are in order forthe month. You simply need to make sure the house doesn’t descend into utter chaos,”James joked.

“Something that would be much harder to guarantee if My Lord was staying in the manor,I can assure you,” Vickers remarked dryly before they both laughed.

“Good man,” the Earl told him, and they shook hands.

“I will make sure to bring you back something especially nice,” Martha told Emma as shehugged her dear sister tightly.

“Well just make sure to bring Harriet back something almost as nice. Just enough so thatshe doesn’t get jealous,” Emma cautioned.

“But you do want her to be a little bit jealous, don’t you?” Martha said with a smile.

“Maybe just a little. Envious up to the gills and no higher.” Emma and Martha laughedwhile they said their goodbyes.

Both of her parents stooped slightly before little Amanda, so they could hug her tightly atthe same time. She acted like she still hadn’t forgiven them for leaving her behind, buther anger held only a fraction of its former self. She would clearly miss them, and theywould miss her.

“Now remember, little Amanda, that we both love you very much,” James told her.

“And that as the Lady of the house you have to fill my important roles when I am gone, incase you are called upon,” Martha said astutely.

Amanda nodded, very serious about these new duties that were sure to come up. “Andyou promise to bring me back sweets from Paris?”

“Darling, I keep telling you that we are going to France but not Paris.” James laughed and

rubbed the top of her head.

“French sweets will suffice then,” his daughter assured him before giving his hand onefinal squeeze and dashing off inside, her patience for the farewell reaching its end.

“Now if only that Mr. Page would hurry along,” Martha sighed, “then we could be on ourway.”

“The fog must be givin’ you a hard time, I’ve been right here all along, M’Lady,” thefamiliar voice called from the carriage. The driver pulled back his collar and revealed acheerful Mr. Page.

“Mr. Page? What the blazes are you doing up there?” James asked, baffled at this oddcircumstance.

“Well, your driver was lamenting the difficulties of the ride back and all, and I told himthat, with a former employer, I drove a carriage, and I knew of a stable that could tend tothe horses. I am coming this way all the same. So, I figured, or he and I figured, that is,that I could drive you. With the added benefit, I might add, of giving the newlyweds theprivacy of the carriage to themselves.”

“You're joking. You sorted that all out with the driver?” James asked, completely baffled.

“Well, the conversation was a little more complicated than I am making it out to be, butthat would be the roundabout of it, M’Lord,” Mr. Page said with a shrug. “Will you in theLady be boarding now? I think it's best that we be moving on.”

James turned to look at Martha who mounted the carriage steps and turned back to him.“I believe he is right, My Lord, are you coming?”

James could only sigh and shake his head as he followed after his wife.

The ride to the coast would eventually turn from foggy and dew ladened lawns to therolling countryside, dotted with copses and warrens. The couple traced each other’shands with their fingertips, enjoying each other's company in the serene silence. Thereare few moments that could be said to demonstrate true and unfettered happiness, andthis was without a doubt one of them. They talked causally, trading lightheartedcomments and sweet nothings, their hands grasped in loving affection.

After a particularly delightful comment, Martha felt compelled to tell her new husbandjust how she felt, “You always know how to do that,” she said with a happy ring to hervoice.

“Do what?” he asked, a bit baffled.

“Know how to make me smile, no matter what,” she told him.

“Oh good, I hope I never forget how,” he said with a roguish smile and planted a lovingkiss on her lips. “Personally, I think you just know how to make me smile naturally.”

“I don’t know about naturally,” she told him as she climbed into his wide lap, his smilegrowing, “but I will admit, it certainly feels like something natural, putting a smile on yourface. What do you say we see how happy we can make each other before we reachHastings?” she asked while kissing his chin.

“You're insatiable,” he told her.

“Is that a no?” she pouted.

“A no? I was complimenting you,” he said as he leaned and pulled the curtains on thecarriage to hide them from prying eyes.

The carriage carried the couple through the morning fog, off into the exciting, andamorous, honeymoon that awaited them across the English Channel.

The End?

Extended Epilogue

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P R E V I E W: T H E M A R C H I O N E S S O FH I S D E S I R E

“H

Prologue

urry up!”

Little Rebecca lifted her skirts higher. She would catch him this time for certain. In fact,she would dare the short-cut. Anything to beat him to their hideout.

She stopped, just as Nicholas turned round.

“I shall beat you this time, Nicky! Watch me!” She made a sharp turn and sped across theclosely cropped grass, her feet pounding and heart racing.

“No, Becks! Stop!” Nicholas’ voice held a frantic tone.

She grinned. Of course, he was frantic.

He knew she would win by coming this way. A few more yards to the spinney, a quickclimb over the stile, and then she would be racing across the meadow to their secrethiding place in the caves near the lake. There was no way he would catch her up now.

She slowed as she reached the edge of the spinney. He might have thirteen years to herten and have much longer legs, but she knew how to maneuver quickly through the treesand brambles of the spinney. Darting among the brush and tree trunks, she could hearhim reach the spinney.

“Becks! ‘Tis not safe!” He was panting.

Good. She was nearly through the densest part and would reach the stile in moments.Once she was in the meadow, he would never reach her.

She was so focused on her footing that she failed to hear the noise in the meadowbeyond the narrow gap in the hedge. The stile was just ahead. She looked back as sheplaced her foot on the bottom step. Nicholas was closer than she had thought he was.Before she could speak, she felt his arm circle her waist and pull her back, just as a rushof warm air engulfed her face.

The next thing she knew, she was on her face in the dirt with a branch poking into herside.

“Stay very still, Becks,” Nicholas whispered into her ear. “If we do not rile him, he will goon his way.”

She had started to squirm, trying to get away from the branch, but she lay still as soon asNicholas spoke. She did not know what had happened, but she knew she would be safeas long as Nicholas was with her.

For a few moments Rebecca could hear a strange snuffling and snorting sort of sound onthe other side of the hedge separating her father’s property from that of Nicholas’ father.Nicholas had laid his hand upon her back, and she felt certain he would let no harm cometo her, whatever had caused his alarm.

As the odd noise faded, Nicholas laughed and stood beside her. He batted dust off histrousers and offered his hand to help her up as well.

“What were you thinking, you peagoose?” He leaned forward and picked several smallsticks from her tousled hair.

Rebecca stopped shaking the dust from her skirt and examined her side where the branchhad poked her.

“I? What was I thinking? Why — I would have beaten you to the cave had you not flungme off the stile. What were you thinking?” She batted his hands away from her braids.“Just look at my dress! That branch has made a hole in the side, just here.” She pulled atthe small tear in the fabric of the bodice, enlarging it enough to reveal a small patch ofred staining her white chemise. “Oh! And I am bleeding!” Her fingers curled into fists, andshe beat at his chest and arms as he laughed.

“Here, now. Let me have a look, you wildcat.” He pushed her fists down and bent hishead to examine her side. “Hmm… ‘tis a mighty fearful wound you have here, Becks. Icannot be certain you shall survive it.”

“Oh, you…” Rebecca renewed her assault on his lowered head. “Why did you snatch meoff the step like that, you blackguard?”

Nicholas captured her flying hands and brought his head up, a smile stretching across hislips. “Now, now, Lady Rebecca. Mind your tongue, or I shall have to speak to your motherabout your manners in company.”

“You knew I would win if I crossed the stile ahead of you. That is why you tossed me onthe ground.” That teasing smile of his made her blood boil. She pulled her hands from hisgrasp.

“I tossed you to the ground, little urchin,” he flung one arm toward the meadow as hestepped toward her, “because I knew that you would be trampled to death if you set aprecious little boot into that meadow.”

“What do you mean? The meadow is empty of cattle or horses, and, I daresay, had a lost

sheep found its way there, I could have defended myself from a trampling, Nicholas.” Shecrossed her arms and tipped her chin up as she had seen one of the maids do when shewas arguing with a footman.

“What a goose you are, Becks.” He picked pine needles from one of her braids. “Theybrought Old Ned to the meadow today. I only saw him on my walk here, so you were notto know. He has gone blind as a bat, but he can still do some damage, for all that.”

“Old Ned?” The air whooshed from her lungs, and her legs wobbled.

“Here now.” Nicholas grabbed her upper arms and lowered her to sit on the ground. “Yourface is white as a sheet.” He patted her shoulder. “‘Tis alright now, my girl. You are safe.”

Rebecca pushed her palms against the ground, feeling the cold earth and the sharp tipsof broken twigs press into her skin. Old Ned. She had been terrified of the enormous bullever since she could remember. Why, if she had gotten into the meadow, no doubt hewould have made a quick end to her. She gulped. Nicholas had saved her life. She lookedup at him.

“You saved me, Nicky.” She drew a deep, ragged breath as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Aw, don’t go being a little girl, Becks!” He sat down awkwardly beside her and drapedhis arm across her bowed shoulders. “C’mon, now. Buck up.”

She sniffled and scrubbed her face briskly. “I … I am sorry, Nicky. ‘Tis just that I … I hatethat old bull! And if you had not stopped me, I could be … I would be….”

“Now, I say that is enough, Lady Rebecca. Come along.” He stood quickly and pulled herup beside him. “We still have to get to the lake.”

“I… I do not think I want to go to the lake today, after all, Nicky.” Her breath wobbled alittle as she inhaled. She was feeling steadier now but still not quite herself.

“No? Very well, then.” He looked around. “What say you to a turn on the swing?”

She looked at him. “Oh, Nicky, could we? Are you sure?” They did not venture often to theswing. It was deep in the woods at the back of her father’s land.

“I do not see why we should not. Come along, then.” He grabbed her right hand in hisand began to thread his way through the copse as Rebecca followed behind.

They spent a glorious two hours in the woods. Nicky pushed her on the ancient branchswing they had found several years ago. She pulled the back of her skirt forward and upbetween her legs, tucking it firmly into her waistband and scampered up the trees afterhim. He was always a little bit ahead of her, dropping twigs and leaves down on her ashe laughed. They found obliging sticks on the ground and used them as flashing sabres,

battling round about the clearing and up and down the path, and they had laughed. Nickyhad always been able to make her laugh. They sat together on the swing, catching theirbreath and drawing circles in the dirt with their boots. Nicholas pulled out his pocketwatch and flipped it open. He looked at her and gave her his lopsided grin.

“Time to go, Becks. Luncheon soon, and I need to get back to the schoolroom before mymother learns I have been out.”

Rebecca sighed, then stamped out the circles she had made with her foot.

“Very well, but promise that you will come back tomorrow.”

“I cannot promise you that, Rebecca.” He stood up quickly, setting the swing spinning.

Rebecca dragged her feet on the ground to slow the spin even as Nicholas grasped theropes suspending the branch and steadied the swing. She jumped off and walked pasthim.

“What do you mean, Nicky? Are you traveling to London again?”

“No, not London, Becks. Further away, I fear.” Nicholas reached her side and turned herto face him. The serious expression on his face sent a cold lump to her stomach.

“I have to go away, Becks. To school, you know.” He looked away, biting his lips. “Theyare sending me to Eton.”

“Eton? But …”

“Shh, now. You know I am to be Duke one day. And a duke must be educated … knowthe right people … learn how to …” he paused and turned his back to her, clenching hisfists.

She stood silent and listened as he took several deep breaths. After an age, he turnedback to her.

“Anyway … I shall be leaving in the early morning, but I need you to do something forme, Becks.”

She snatched his hand, holding it tightly between both of hers. “Do not leave, Nicky. I … Iwill be so sad.”

He smiled at her and dug in his pocket with his free hand. “I know you will, Rebecca. Sowill I … but we shall both make new friends, and we shall still see each other when Icome home for holidays.”

“I will not make other friends, Nicky. You are my friend. My very best friend.” Shedropped his hand and turned away.

“We will still be friends, Rebecca. I promise. Here.” He thrust something into her handand closed his fingers over hers. “Here is the token I give in pledge of our friendship.”

She opened her fist and gasped. “But … but this is your pocket watch.” She looked up athim.

“So, it is. My grandmother gave it to me after my grandfather died. It was special to him,and he wanted me to have it. See the painting of the lady on the back? My Grandfatherbrought this back from Paris.”

Rebecca traced her finger over the miniature painting. “She is beautiful. Who is she?”

Nicholas laughed and grabbed her hand, leading her away from the clearing. “She isMadame de Pompadour, and that is all I shall tell you. You must work hard on yourlessons and learn more about her for yourself while I am away.”

“But I want you to stay.”

“I know, but I cannot. We are growing up now, you know.” He swung their clasped handsas they walked. “And that means people expect us to do certain things. I have to goaway to school. You,” and he squeezed her hand, “must work hard and become a lady —prepare to come out one day. You understand?” He paused, and she nodded. “So, wemust both do our best and remember that we are friends — always.”

He turned her to face him at the edge of the wood. Holding both her shoulders, he leaneddown to look into her eyes.

“Yes, Becks? Friends? Always?”

Tears welled in her eyes, and she swallowed. She tucked the precious watch into thepocket of her dusty frock. Her hands flew to her braid, quickly working loose the ribbonthat held it. Wadding the strip of red satin in her hand, she pressed it into Nicholas’ palm.

“Yes,” she choked out. “Yes, Nicky. Friends always. Here is my pledge.”

Then she turned and ran.

Chapter One

B

THIRTEEN YEARS LATER

ang! Bang! Bang!

“Hurry up, now, girl! I shall not have you be late for this ball, Rebecca! I have laidout too much blunt to get you a husband, and I shan’t have you jeopardizing my plans.”

Twenty-three-year-old Lady Rebecca Paddington, orphaned daughter of the previous Earlof Weston, started at the unexpected tirade. Her hand covered the pocket watch lying ontop of her dressing table, and she glanced into the mirror, gazing at the door to her roomreflected there.

She pressed her lips together.

Uncle Roland was in fine form tonight, apparently, raging on about expenses and quiteobviously far into his cups.

She sighed.

His behavior was in character. She should not have been startled by it, though she wasprobably more eager than he was to see her gone from his care and settled in a home ofher own. If only … Her fingers curled around the watch, and she gazed into the mirror,not seeing her image now, but images of days long past.

“My lady?”

Rebecca drew in a deep breath. Old promises dissolved in the demands of currentcircumstances. She smiled into the mirror.

“Yes, Lyddie. Please, finish my hair. Use the pearl clips tonight, please.”

“Yes, my lady.” Rebecca closed her eyes, her mind wandering to things that might havebeen as Lyddie’s deft fingers quickly smoothed errant locks into submission and carefullyplaced the beautiful pearl clips that had belonged to Rebecca’s mother.

Had her parents not died. Had she made her come out as planned. Had she not foughtwith Nicholas before his last journey. Had Nicky never left her in the first place.

Rebecca allowed the thoughts to run rampant for the moment. Wallowing in if onlys couldnot solve her problems, but an occasional controlled lapse served as her only refuge. Itstrengthened her to do what she knew she must do. For her own sake, yes, but mostly forher sister Laura’s welfare.

And Edward, after all, was a kind man. Respectable. His persistent courtship proved hisattachment, and he seemed eager to procure her happiness. He could provide a home forher and Laura, and, in time, she might come to care for him. Perhaps.

She sighed.

If only …

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Rebecca!” The slurred syllables came out as more of a growl than a word.

She jumped again, causing Lyddie to fumble with the fastening of the pearl necklace shehad chosen to complement the clips. Rebecca caught Lyddie’s glance in the mirror andmouthed the word “sorry.”

Aloud she called out, “Coming, Uncle. I shall join you directly.”

“Shee that you do, mish! Shee that you do.” Another bang rattled the door.

Heavy, uneven footsteps sounded in the hall as Lyddie fastened the clasp on the necklaceand reached for Rebecca’s lace shawl. “Ye look beautiful, miss. Ye truly do.” Lyddiedraped the shawl gently over Rebecca’s shoulders as she stood up.

Tears welled in Rebecca’s eyes. “Thank you, Lyddie.” She pulled the older woman into aquick hug then stepped back. “I do not know what we would have done here withoutyou.”

Rebecca pressed the back of her hand to her cheek, stopping a tear from sliding further.Lyddie had been part of Rebecca’s life forever. She had been Rebecca’s mother’s lady’smaid but had moved into the position of nurse to Laura and become Rebecca’s confidanteafter Rebecca’s mother died. When Rebecca’s father died, Lyddie had chosen to move toUncle Roland’s. Staying with Rebecca and Laura, instead of using the sum Rebecca’sfather left her to purchase a cottage for herself.

Rebecca turned to the dressing table and lifted her reticule, draping the loop over hergloved wrist. As she turned back, light from the candles around the room flashed on thegold of the pocket watch. She had nearly forgotten it. Picking it up and slipping it into herpocket, she faced Lyddie again.

“Do not wait up for me tonight. I suspect it shall be quite late.”

Lyddie looked her in the eye, a slight smile creasing her lips.

“My lady, ye know I canna sleep whilst yer out. I shall sit wi’ Lady Laura after ye’ve gone,and I’ll be here for ye when ye return.”

Rebecca smiled. “Thank you, Lyddie. I am sure I shall be glad of your help.” She reachedout and squeezed Lyddie’s hand.

“Now, I really must say good-night to Laura and then be on my way, or Uncle will returnto pester us.”

Lyddie curtsied. “Yes, my lady.”

Rebecca stepped quietly down the hall to her sister’s room. She could hear murmuringbefore she tapped lightly and opened the door.

“Hello, my love.”

Rebecca smiled as she entered. What a sweet picture Laura made, dressed for bed andsitting on the small wooden chair with their mother’s old ivory doll, Isobel, perched on herlap. Rebecca’s chest tightened. She would do anything — anything — to keep Laura safeand happy. Even if that meant marrying without love. Marrying Edward.

Where had that thought come from? She had no time to give to such maudlin and foolishnotions.

No. Practicality had served her well these last three years. There was no reason toabandon it now. Especially now.

Fixing her attention on Laura, she walked swiftly to her and kissed the top of her head.“Come along now, Laura, dear. Let me tuck you into bed, but we must be quick. Uncle isgrowing quite anxious to leave for the ball.”

Laura bounced off the chair and wrapped her arms around Rebecca’s waist. She tippedher head back as strands of long blonde curls escaped from her braids, dancing about herpink cheeks.

“I know, Becca. We heard him bellowing — Isobel and I did.”

A chuckle escaped before she could quell it. Rebecca squeezed her sister and turned hertoward the bed.

“Now, Laura, remember what we have discussed. You must not speak of Uncle like that.”

Laura climbed into the bed and thrust her feet beneath the thin blanket. She looked atRebecca and frowned.

“I know, but do you truly have to go, Becca? I want you to stay here.”

Desire to protect and comfort Laura swept over Rebecca. She hugged her sister quicklyand kissed her forehead as she settled the blanket around Laura’s shoulder.

“I want to stay here with you as well, poppet, but, you know, I must go. Edward will behere soon, and I must not keep him waiting.”

“I do not care for Edward.”

“What? I thought you liked him. Whatever has come over you?”

“I did like him. Well, I thought I did.” Laura’s fingers twisted the edge of the blanket intoa lump. “Until …”

Rebecca smiled. “Until …?”

Laura gripped the blanket. “Until I remembered that he wants to marry you, and that hewill take you away from here and leave me alone with Uncle.”

“Oh, my dear girl, no.” Rebecca smoothed Laura’s hair and smiled. “You are not to worryon this, darling. If I marry and leave here, you will most assuredly come with me.”

Laura looked up at her. “Are you certain?”

Rebecca nodded her head. “I am quite certain. In fact, I give you my word on this. Pleasedo not worry, my darling. Right now, I must kiss you good-night and hurry below”Rebecca placed one last kiss on Laura’s brow, quietly closed the door, and hurried downthe stairs.

The coach rattled through the cobbled streets, bringing him closer to the encounter hedreaded.

Twenty-six-year-old Lord Nicholas Lowood, Marquess of Somerset, rubbed the carriageglass impatiently. Waning light from the late April sun wove a pattern through his fingers.

He hated small spaces, even for short periods of time. A view through the window,however bleak, still merited favor with him. His companion, twenty-five-year-old IanBennet, chuckled.

“Have done, man. You shan’t see anything save poor urchins running alongside, hoping tocatch a few pence from you.”

Lowood grunted and pulled his hand back from the window.

“I know.” He glanced at Bennet. “Thank you for meeting me this afternoon, Ian.”

Ian grinned. “My pleasure, Nick. I always enjoy our discussions, and, I must add, I amcuriously eager to make the acquaintance of the Duchess.”

Nicholas snorted. “That eagerness shall soon be quenched, my friend. You are very nearto bearding the dragon in her den.”

“Perhaps so. Still …” Ian lifted his hand and feigned an examination of his fingernails.“One wonders what sort of woman could capture the attention of a man as formidable asyour exalted sire. Gossip, you know, has her as either the most retiring and docilecreature to be found or …” He paused and shot another grin at Nicholas. “Or as a partnerof equal, or even superior, cunning – directing and ordering the lives of those around herto suit her personal whims.”

“Interesting. As sole surviving progeny of the match, I would be imprudent to commenton such delicate family matters. You shall have to judge for yourself.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, although Nicholas’ thoughts darkened. Despitewhat people thought, he had no reason to rejoice in his homecoming. Quite the opposite,in fact.

His mother was sure to be working some plot or another, intent on keeping herself thecenter of attention among her cronies. As long as she left him out of it, he would leaveher to her devices. She had already done enough damage to last him a lifetime, thoughNicholas wondered what was worse: an interfering mother or an absent father. His own,the Duke, was ever away on business in the colonies, a business which was moreconcerned with women and wine than the amassing of fortune.

He closed his eyes and visions of his last meeting with Rebecca flashed into his mind. Hismother’s poisonous tongue had finally shattered the only true friendship he had ever had.

He could not blame Rebecca, although she had immediately assumed the worst of him.He could not bring himself to confess the reasons for his behavior, so she had believedthe rumors spread by an ever scandal-hungry ton, and he had lost her.

The carriage jolted over a rough spot and jarred him out of his reverie.

“Finished brooding, have you?”

He opened his eyes and gave Ian a lopsided smile. Stretching his long limbs inside thecoach proved challenging, but he did so anyway.

“Well, Ian. What other gossip have you to share? Anything of note or absurdity occurduring my absence?”

“Some events which might be of mild interest to you, I believe.”

“Go on, pray.”

Ian tipped his head back. He looked Nicholas in the eye, sighed, and refocused his gazeout the window.

“I believe I do have news of a somewhat … personal … nature that will interest you.”

“Have you, indeed? Do tell, now. Do not keep me in suspense.” Nicholas leaned back.“What could possibly interest me about the affairs of the merchant class? No — wait — do

not tell. Let me guess.”

Ian smiled. “Very well, then. Guess away!”

Nicholas sat forward, resting his arms on his thighs. “You are to be married.” He slappedhis hand against his leg. “Congratulations, old man! Not a state I ever plan to enter uponmyself, but you, on the other hand, are excellent husband material. Who, pray, is thefortunate maiden?”

Ian laughed long and loud. “No, no. Not I, Nick. You know me better than that. ‘Tisrumored though, that someone of your acquaintance is soon to enter that state.”

“Truly? Well, do enlighten me. Perhaps I can save the poor blackguard from making amistake.”

Ian sobered. “’Tis not a man, Nick. It is Lady Rebecca Paddington.”

The air rushed from his lungs. Ian was watching him closely. Nicholas clenched his fistson his knees, fighting to keep his temper.

“Lady Rebecca, you say?”

“Aye. Word is that Lord Dalton’s second son — you know him, I trow — a Navy officer,plans to make the offer soon. Not a brilliant match for her but suitable.”

“Not brilliant? Suitable?” Rage exploded inside him. “Damn it, man, ‘tis completelyridiculous! An earl’s daughter wed to a nobody?”

He barely kept himself from punching the side of the carriage.

“An earl’s daughter she may be, Nick, but her father died shortly after you left. She’s beenunder the guardianship of her uncle — the new earl — for nigh on three years now. Nevermade a come out and now, rumor has it, she is desperate to escape the old man.”

“You seem to know a great deal about Lady Rebecca.” Nicholas choked back the jealousheat that threatened to overtake him.

“I make no secret of it, my friend. I knew of your interests where she was concerned —from our time at university. You spoke of her a great deal, perhaps more than you recallyourself. For your sake,” Ian looked him in the eye, “for your sake, Nick, I have keptinformed regarding her situation.”

Nicholas gritted his teeth. “You mistake the circumstance, Ian. Lady Rebecca is … was …a friend.” He fixed his gaze at the window, staring at nothing. “Only a friend. She … we …we had words before I left last time. Words that cannot be taken back nor their damageremedied.”

He faced his friend again. “But in one thing, you are correct. It is a mistake for her toaccept Edward Johnson. We were once friends, of course, but he has since revealed his

true colors. He is nothing but sniveling little coward, a man with no morals and adrunkard. Such a match would be a disaster.”

The carriage slowed to a stop, and the driver called out, “Somerset House, my lord.”

Nicholas put his hand on the door lever. “And I shall tell her so myself, as soon as I canarrange a meeting.” He bounded onto the walkway and waited for Ian to emerge.

“Do you not think …” Ian began.

“No. I do not. Now come. Time for you to meet the Duchess.” He strode up the steps ofthe elegantly appointed townhouse and slammed the knocker against the door.

R

Chapter Two

ebecca paused at the closed drawing room door. She could hear voicesmurmuring. Oh, dear. Perhaps Edward had arrived earlier than she expected.Drawing a breath, she opened the door and entered.

Edward was seated on the blue couch – Mother’s final addition to the drawing roombefore her death. He looked up as Rebecca entered then jumped to his feet.

“Lady Rebecca.” He advanced to meet her as she stepped into the room, raising her handto his lips. “You look lovely tonight.” He pulled her hand through his arm and led her tothe couch.

Uncle Roland, slower in rising at her entrance, dropped into his wing-backed chair with athump. He raised a glass in her direction. “Rebecca. About time. Ain’t good manners, gel,to keep a man waiting for his dinner.”

Heat flushed up her neck. “I apologize, Uncle.” She turned to Edward, who had seatedhimself next to her on the couch. “Edward, it was quite rude of me to keep you from yourdinner.” She stood, and Edward rose with her. “Perhaps we should go along to the diningroom now?”

Edward smiled at her. “It is of no matter, Lady Rebecca.” He stepped back, and his eyesswept over her from head to toe. “Your beauty and presence are worth any amount ofdelay.” He drew her hand to his arm and led her to the door.

“Are you coming, my lord?” Edward glanced back to where Uncle Roland was haulinghimself upright once more.

Uncle Roland waved a hand toward them. “Go on, go on. Do not wait for me.”

Edward was seating Rebecca when Uncle Roland shuffled into the dining room and tookhis place at the head of the table. A few moments later, the footmen had set a lightrepast before them.

“Well, this looks quite tempting.” Edward smiled across the table as he caught Rebecca’seye.

He turned to look at Uncle Roland. “Thank you, your lordship, for the invitation to dinewith you before escorting you both to the ball. I wonder if I might suggest coffee for yourdinner libation? I believe you will want to be more alert when we reach the Seftons’. Youdo recall our discussion, my Lord?”

Uncle Roland grunted as he chewed.

Rebecca looked from Edward to her uncle and back to Edward again. “What discussion,may I ask?”

Edward held up a finger. “One moment, if you please, my dear.” He motioned a footmanto the table. “Have Cook prepare strong coffee and bring it to his lordship directly.”

The footman nodded and bowed. “Yes, my … er, Mr. Johnson.”

Rebecca raised her brows. Edward was certainly feeling comfortable in her home.“Edward?”

He looked up from his plate. “Yes, Lady Rebecca?”

She set her fork down. “I want to know what you and Uncle were discussing.”

“Oh, yes. Of course.” He dabbed his napkin at his lips. “As you know, I have been workingon some extra projects for the Admiral.”

“Yes, I do recall that, although you have yet to tell me the nature of these projects.”

He smiled. “All in good time, my lady. What I can tell you is that your uncle and I havereached certain agreements which will allow me to proceed with other important plans Iam making.”

“Indeed. And what plans are those, if I may ask?”

“Of course, you may ask. I, however it pains me, must decline to answer at the moment.”

Rebecca felt her temper rise. “Oh, is that so? But perhaps you can tell me when you willbe able to disclose this deep, dark secret?”

He laughed. “Your temper gives you the most adorable flush, my darling girl.”

Rebecca narrowed her eyes. He really had become most annoying. “You shall not distractme from my question.”

Edward looked at her, his eyes shining. “Of course. You must not mind my teasing, mylady. I have to speak with someone at the ball, and then I shall be able to reveal whatyou sweetly call my ‘deep, dark secret.’ I do hope your anger shall be assuaged by mydisclosure.” He smiled and raised a brow.

Rebecca pressed her lips together. What was he thinking? He was usually much moreforthcoming in their conversations. She sighed. It seemed that she had no choice but to

wait until the ball to learn what Uncle and he had been discussing.

“Here, now.” Her Uncle dropped his hand heavily to the table, causing the utensils tojump.

Rebecca had been so caught up in her conversation with Edward that she had not noticedanyone return with Uncle’s coffee. She looked toward him now and realized that he hadconsumed nearly half of the carafe brought to him. His ability to imbibe any kind of drinkseemed nearly unlimited.

“Time we were away.” Her Uncle pushed himself up from his chair.

Edward jumped up. “Yes. I agree, my lord.” He looked at Rebecca. “Are you ready for theevening, my lady? Shall we continue our conversation?” His eyes twinkled at her, daringher to answer.

Rebecca pushed back from the table and rose to her feet, keeping her eyes locked withEdward’s. She favored him with a slight smile. “Oh, yes, Mr. Johnson. I believe you shallfind I am quite ready to pursue our conversation. I warn you: I shall discover whateversecrets you propose to keep.”

Edward laughed as they stepped from the dining room. “I look forward to it, LadyRebecca. Most eagerly.”

“No need to announce us, Harrington. I know the way.”

“Very good, my lord.”

“Have refreshments sent up, if you would. I am famished.”

“Of course, my lord. And may I say how pleased we are that you are safely returnedagain.”

Nicholas turned and grinned at the rigidly upright older man who had known him sincebefore he was in short pants.

“Thank you, Harrington. I am truly happy to be home.” He slapped the butler on hisupper arm and turned to Ian. “As you requested, my friend, your interview with thedragon.”

He knew exactly where she would be at this time of day. Her favorite, or rather one ofher favorite, pastimes was to observe the movements of the lower classes surreptitiouslythrough her drawing room window on a sunny afternoon.

He bounded up the stairs, turned left down the hall and waited by the door for Ian tocome up with him. Hand on the knob, he looked at his friend. “Take a deep breath, Ian.”

He had the door open and strode into the room before Ian could answer. There she was,just as he had known she would be. She did not look up but continued her survey of thescene before her.

She had taken, he noticed, to jotting notes down on sheets of foolscap. He watched,amused, as she scratched something on a sheet and tossed it off the side of her smallwriting table. Her ever-present maidservant, Waltham, who was nearly as odious as hismother, stooped to retrieve the page, hurriedly sanded it, and set it atop a stackaccumulating in the seat of a nearby chair.

“Nicholas.”

“Good day, Mother.” He swept a mocking bow.

Several moments passed in silence before she spoke again.

“And who is this …” she set her quill carefully on the table and turned her head ever soslightly to give Ian the full benefit of her gaze, “… person … whom you have brought withyou?” Her scornful glance raked Ian from head to toe.

Nicholas laughed and stepped toward her. He raised his brows as he spoke. “Mother, mayI present my good friend Mr. Ian Bennet. His father also deals in the sugar trade. Ian, HerGrace, the Duchess of Sinclair.”

Ian stepped forward and bowed. “Your Grace.”

The Duchess slowly extended her hand. Ian looked flustered but recovered quickly.Laying his fingers beneath hers, he kissed the air above her wrist and stood.

“Yes. Well.” She sniffed and withdrew her hand, turning again to her quill. “You havetimed your arrival ill, Nicholas. Although,” she turned toward them again, leveling a keenstare at Nicholas, “I am quite certain you know that already, do you not? It has ever beenyour habit to disrupt my daily routines as often as you might. You see how he disrespectsme, Mr. Bennet.”

Nicholas ground his teeth.

“I beg pardon to disagree, your Grace. Your son has only this afternoon arrived from thecolonies. I met him at the docks myself not thirty minutes past and conveyed him directlyhere.”

The dragon’s gaze shifted to Ian, and Nicholas took a deep breath. He could not allow herto rattle him so.

“Met him at the docks, you say. Hmm. At the docks, indeed.” She sniffed. “Well, that Ican believe. His look and smell bear out your assertion quite admirably. However, Mr.Bennet, I remain in no doubt as to my son’s total control over his ship’s timing and hissubsequent arrival here just now.”

She rose regally from her chair and moved to the more comfortable part of the roomwhere Harrington had placed the tea items. “Please, gentlemen, do be seated.” Shelowered herself onto the edge of a settee, back straight as a rod. Nicholas took the seatadjacent to her settee, leaving Ian to sit directly across from her.

“You see, Mr. Bennet,” she handed him his teacup, “my son secrets a sly and deviousnature. Perhaps you have not yet known him long enough to realize this.”

“Well, my Lady, I have known Nicho…er, his lordship … for …”

Time to draw the fire to himself. Nicholas reached for his cup. “Actually, Mother, Ian and Imet at Eton. And as for being sly and devious …well, some might say I have come bythose traits quite naturally — given my parentage, you know.” He tossed a whole biscuitinto his mouth and savored the look on her face as he crunched it loudly.

A glance at Ian’s horrified expression nearly caused him to spew the crumbs all over thedelicately carved table between them. He drained his tea to prevent such a display andstood abruptly. Ian rose as well.

“Well, Mother. It has been lovely to see you again, but we really must be going. I havesome business which requires my urgent attention and …”

“Sit down, Nicholas.”

“As much as I desire to oblige you, I am afraid I must decline. There is an urgentmessage that must be sent directly.”

She looked up at him questioningly.

“A message is it? Only a message? Well, that is easily remedied. Waltham.” She gesturedto the maid who rushed to her side with parchment, ink, quill, and sand. His motherwaved her hand toward the tea table, and Waltham quickly set the writing tools withinhis reach, clearing away the tea things that might hinder his writing process. “There. Itrust that shall suffice.”

Nicholas did not move. His eyes locked with hers, and he felt the full force of her will asher gaze slowly dissolved into a glare. She obviously had more to say to him. Not that hecared to hear it, but this skirmish was not worth the effort he would expend to triumphover such a paltry issue. He sat and nodded at Ian, who, speechless from watching thedrama enacted before him, sat also.

Nicholas scrawled a hasty message telling Rebecca he would call on her the nextmorning. He sanded, folded, and addressed the page before standing again.

“Waltham will take that for you, Nicholas.”

He smiled into his mother’s face, devoid now of the smirk he knew she was feeling. “Ithank you, Mother.”

Waltham reached her hand toward him as he stepped from behind the table. “But Ibelieve I shall hand this to Harrington myself.” He started for the door.

“As you wish, my son.” He almost turned to get a look at her expression but decided notto give her the satisfaction as he opened the door and called for Harrington.

“Now, then, Mother.” He walked slowly back to the seating arrangement, careful not toreveal his anger. “I believe you have something you wish to discuss?”

Her eyes shifted to Ian. “I do. However, it is of a somewhat delicate nature and as suchwould be of no interest to Mr. Bennet.”

He begged to differ with her. Ian, he was certain, would be highly diverted by whatever“delicate” issue his mother wished to discuss. He surveyed her expression. The veryblandness of it assured him that she was willing to embark upon an argument ofmonstrous proportions to obtain her objective in ousting Ian from their company. Hisfriend did not deserve that.

He turned to Ian, who sat on the edge of his chair, fixing his attention first on one andthen the other of them.

“I do apologize, Ian. ‘Twould seem there are important family matters to discuss.” Henodded toward the door. “Would you do me the courtesy of allowing me a few hours ofprivacy with my mother before returning for me? Shall we say about eight o’clock?”

Ian rose swiftly, bowed to the duchess, and walked to the door where he turned back toface Nicholas with a smile and a quizzically raised brow.

“Of course, my lord. Your servant, as always.” His wicked grin belied the humility of hiswords, but Nicholas forbore a response. There would be time for that later.

“Until tonight then, Mr. Bennet.”

Nicholas waited until the door closed behind Ian, then he walked to the window hismother had recently left and fixed his eyes on the trees across the courtyard.

“Well, Mother. You have me to yourself now.” He glanced back at Waltham. “Well, nearlyto yourself, anyway. What is it you wish to discuss?”

Duchess Sinclair pursed her lips, smoothed her hands across her lap, then folded themtogether.

“You should know, Nicholas, that in your extended absence I have labored diligently tosecure your future happiness.”

He raised his brows. “My future happiness. I confess myself at a loss to understand yourmeaning, mother.”

“Oh, do sit down, Nicholas! I have no wish to speak to your back.”

“Very well.” He took Ian’s vacant chair, facing his fidgeting parent. “What do you mean bymy future happiness?”

“Well, what do you think I mean? I have secured you a most eligible bride, of course.”

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Also by Ava MacAdams

Thank you for reading The Baroness of Sin!

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Some other bestsellers of mine:

The Marchioness of his Desire

A Courtesan Countess Worth the Scandal

A Naughty Proposal for His Winter Countess

Sinful Persuasion of a Lady in the Making

Indecent Desires of a Proper Lady

Enslaved to the Seduction of a Lady

***

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About the Author

Born and raised in rural Louisiana, Ava’s rebellious nature would always find her riding her horse through vast farmlands orlying under a tree, getting lost in one of her favourite historical romances. Always itching for adventure, she was onlynineteen when she decided to embark on her biggest adventure and travel through Europe.

She studied art and theater in London, where she met several people that filled her with valuable experiences. Taking partin a writing competition upon her professor’s encouragement, she realised that this was what she always wanted to do.Married to that same professor a few years later, she decided to return to her roots to settle down and write about herfavourite era.

Let yourselves be lured into an intense experience of desire and passion, alongside irresistible Lords and seductive Ladies ofthe Regency Era. Ava’s skilled writing hand will throw you back in time, when tales were told and songs were sung...

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