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rTAruHBffi##KA Guide To Successful Panhandling

By M.T. Pockets

i4-I'

T t is a sad but true fact of life in AmericaI today that people can be reduced toI the status of begging on the streets.Anyone living in any medium to large citycan attest to the fact that panhandlers areeverywhere on the urban landscape. Someare aggressive and obnoxious while othersare passive and restrained; all of them arevery noticeable. Perhaps their visibility isenhanced because people do everythingthey can to ignore the panhandlers ofAmerica.

what is not so well known is how success-ful some panhandlers are. While most beg-gars hope to earn $10 to $12 per day fromtheir panhandling, others earn as much as$200 a day and it is entirely possible thatsome earn significantly more - mind you,this is tax-free cash. What this book does isprovide the reader with the techniquesnecessary to panhandle one's way into thehigher income brackets. In this book you willlearn how to select your intended giver,

2 rnn nnGGan's rrANDBooK

how to dress, how to select a location, howto use props, how to avoid the police, howto get along with other panhandlers, andthe mistakes most panhandlers make thatyou should never, never make. So the choiceis yours, you can approach people, askingfor ten cents for a "cuppa cawfee" andslowly starve to death, or do what the com-petent beggar does and live rather well,even in an expensive city such as New Yorkor Boston.

As I said, the vast bulk of panhandlersmake $10 to $12 on an average day. While itis possible to make $200 per day, the authordoes not suggest that anyone contemplat-ing a career change should take up beggingfor a living. But should the need ever arise,all the information necessary is collectedbetween these two covers. In today's vola-tile economic climate no one can tell justwhen he or she is likely to suddenly be outof a job. Panhandling can provide a financialbridge to the next job. While it is definitelynot suggested, many people have chosen tobecome career beggars; it is left to thereader to decide whether this is a desirablelifestyle.

It is true that traditional panhandling canbe demeaning but, on the whole, it offers

numerous advantages over holding a "real"job. You can be completely anonymous.Many panhandlers have given themselvesnames that they use on the streets. Fur-thermore, as a panhandler, you are yourown boss, you set your own hours, and youdeal with only those people you want todeal with. lf you live in an urban environ-ment and are interested in dropping outeconomically, then panhandling can be anideal means to that end. You are also paid intax-free cash, so every dollar you make islike making $1.35 or more at the same in-come level attained in a "real" job. you canalso spend this money direcfly, withoutvisiting a bank and enduring any of thatnonsense. Beyond all this, you will be freerthan you ever have been, with more sparetime than you ever thought imaginablewhen you worked a "real" job. At last, youcan write the great American novel that islurking somewhere inside you, or learnJapanese, or watch reruns of cilligan's lslandall your free time without the guitty feetingthat you are wasting your time. As a pan-handler, at last you can be the true masterof your time which is, after all, your life.

The information in this book was collect-ed by interviewing a number of successful

4 THEBEGGAR,SHANDBOOK

panhandlers operating in and around mid-town Manhattan. New York City offers anextreme example in that 5,000 to 7,000panhandlers are active during any givenrush hour and their number is noticeablyincreasing with every passing month. Yetthe beggars interviewed for this bookgenerally weren't even recognized as beg-g?rs; for the most Part theY dress andspeak as well as the people they approach.This offers more advantages than just alarger income; it also keeps the police andother panhandlers at bay, simply becausethey never know that these people are pan-handling. Should they be caught in the act,it is easy for them to disappear by blendinginto the crowd. So here it is - everythingyou will need to know to successfully pan-handle on the streets of any big city. Sure,it may seem demeaning, but by being intel-ligent about it, it can also mean big bucks.

Upon becoming a panhandler, by choiceor by circumstance, the first problem toconfront is that of personal integrity. Youwill have to tell some lies, but the lies youtell will be of minor proportions comparedto most of the lies you will be hearing whileout on the town. Alas, we live in a world oflies and to the more cynical among us it

must seem that those people who are thebest liars are also the most successful atboth business and life. lf you are out on thestreet and you have no other means of fi-nancial support, then panhandling is yourbusiness. Nobody goes into any businesswith the express intent of failing at it, so iftelling the occasional minor lie is an essen-tial part of achieving success, then youmust do it. lf you can overcome this ob-stacle, you are already most of the way to-ward becoming a successful panhandler.From here on, the rest is mere detail andembellishment that makes the game funand more profitable.

ow it seems that every urbandweller has been approached bYsome incoherent, filthy, ragged, lice-

eaten bum who asked for "a quarter" orsome "spare change." Please take a momentto picture this scene in your mind, thendraw a big red "X" through it. lf you haveany personal experience in this matter, askyourself whether you gave him the quarteror whatever. You probably did not. Every-thing about this approach is all wrong andchances are that this person will never beable to raise himself from his deplorablecondition.

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i6 rnn anccaR's rLANDBooR

he successful beggar picks the timeand place as much as he selects theperson to approach. At all times, the

successful beggar is aware, coherent, and infull control of the situation, even thoughhis intended giver is usually not aware ofthis.

While the most critical aspect of beggingis telling the minor lie, selecting the rightplace is also important, particularly whenthere is so much competition, even if it isnot such intense competition.

First, major transportation hubs aregood, even if seemingly overworked bypanhandlers. The fact of the matter is thatthe police regularly scour these places ofpanhandlers in the mistaken belief thatmaking the beggars move on will solve theproblem of panhandling. (By the time youfinish this book, you will realize that pan-handling is not the problem; it is the solu-tion.l lf you use the principles ouflined inthis book, you will neither be recognized asa panhandler nor treated like one by thepolice. So, the major transportation hubsare reasonably safe for you to exploit.

A related problem that must be in theforefront of the intelligent panhandler'smind is that panhandlers prey upon one

another. These people are usually disenfran-chised and feel that they have little to fearfrom the law, especially when attacking oneof their own kind. By following the instruc-tions in this book, particularly those regard-ing how to dress and act, you will be safefrom virtually all situations that may arise.And always keep your accumulated cashout of sight.

Second, working outside financial institu-tions, known gambling establishments (suchas the oTB in New York city), movies, the-aters, and restaurants has potential, buteach place needs its own routine;always ap-proach people on the way out of theseestablishments, never when they are goingin (any businessman will tell you that youare more apt to close the deal after lunchthan before; the same is true with panhan-dlingl. In the case of gambling establish-ments, be sure to not approach any losers(of which you shall certainly see ffi?fl!);people who have just won are flush withcash and more than willing to part with afew doilars. These people are also supersti-tious and you might try the line of how giv-ing away a few dollars will help their luck inthe future, but we are getting ahead ofourselves.

8 rnn nnGcen's rrANDBooK

hird, street corners are bad. Cornershave bad associations in the minds ofmost people. Concentrate on the

middle of blocks. Make yourself visible, thatis, don't hide in doorways or around cor-ners. lf it is at night, place yourself directlyunder a streetlight. Be sure to make your-self apparent. People cannot give youmoney if they cannot see you. Also, scaringpeople * deliberately or otherwise - isbehavior that is to be avoided by the intel-ligent beggar. lf you are interested in work-ing the streets and scaring people, then youshould become a mugger, which carries itsown set of problems. lf you are interestedin making a good living as a panhandler,make as few waves as possible. To manyreaders, this must seem obvious, but somany panhandlers ignore this that I feel I

must emphatically state it.

As can be seen from this discussion, urbanareas offer the best chances of success as apanhandler, simply because you have thewidest possible choice of potential givers.

Once you have chosen a location, alwaysbe sure to stick with it for at least twodays. The reason for this is that the spotmust be properly broken in and you must

become accustomed to the peculiaritiesand nuances of the location. Once you knowyour chosen spot, you can work it to youradvantage. As an example, one panhandlerof my acquaintance, not letting it be knownthat he was a panhandler, built up acquaint-ances with numerous people who came toknow him as a pretty good person and aregular fixture at that general locationevery day at the time they passed hy. Whatthese people did not know was that tenminutes later, he was working on someonewith whom he had already built a friend-ship. From that latter person, he not onlygot his train fare, but also money for flow-ers as a present for his (nonexistent, I mightadd) wife. He developed a friendship with amiddle aged female executive and on oneoccasion even scared off an obnoxious typepanhandler. About a week later, he hit herup for ffioh€y; he got $20 and he was thank-ed for the privilege of letting her give it tohim. To this day, they still smile and ex-change hellos upon meeting. This is an idealway to panhandle, hut it takes time, prac-tice and being at a single spot at the sametime every day while not appearing to pan-handle to develop this level of skill.

After you have observed people passingby in crowds, you get to recognize certain

t

1O THE BEGGAR,S HANDBOOK

types. When you look at someone as apotential giver, you have to ask yourselfsome questions. You cannot makeassumptions... you have to ask yourselfquestions and get some concrete answersbased upon observation and your experi-ence. So choose an intended benefactor andsize him or her up. How is this persondressed? Does this person smoke? ls thisperson carrying a briefcase? ls this personcarrying a newspaper? ls it rolled up neatlyor just folded? Are this person's shoesexpensive? Are they freshly polished? ls thisperson alone? In a group of three or more?With a member of the opposite sex? ls thisperson smiling? Does this person look tired?Happy? Depressed? Hungry? Eager? As youread this book, you will see that thesecharacteristics and dozens more will applyin telling you what you need to know aboutthis person. In fact, in time, you will becomea great observer of people and you will beable to tell them things about themselvesthat they are scarcely aware of; but thiscomes later. Right now, all you are inter-ested in is assessing your mark and gettingas much as possible from this person.

Experience dictates that neatness countswhen choosing someone to approach; if

they look neat and fastidious, they areusually givers, but not apt to give much. Onthe other hand, sloppy people are less oftenapt to be givers, but when they are, it isgenerally more money. Here the individualhas to decide whether he is interested infast nickels or slow dollars; remember thatif you run off on a wild goose chase, thetime spent is essentially wasted, unless youare cultivating someone for a big payoff.You want to be active, yes, but you alsowant to be selective to maintain a high rateof success and, in the process, a good rateof payoff. Being selective is no problem;people come and people 9o... as one goes,there's always another one coming along totake his or her place. Just he sure to keeprejection in its proper perspectiv€; ev€rV-one is rejected from time to time. Try, tryag?in; even the people who once rejectedyou might give to you later on when yourroutine is more polished. This author has de-termined that you can hit up the samepeople as often as once every sixty dayswithout them remembering you; of course,you have to change your routine becausewhile faces are often forgotten, your pitchis not. And, of course, one of the objects ofbecoming a panhandler is to become a goodone. This means always experimenting with

12 mE BEGGAR'; HANDBIIK13

new ideas and routines; discard those thatdon't work and keep those that do. tm_provement is a rapid process, especiallywith ail the competition out tne're tnatnever even tries to improve.

|. T ow, you have to ask yourself an-l\l other important question. For ther r moment, accept the proposition

tha.t Tgst peopte are fundambntaily goodand willing to help, yet most people vrTon,thelp a typic.at panhandter. Why is dnisa Weil,from questioning a number of people clro-sen at random, I have been tolct that thesepeople are afraid that any money givenwon't be used to buy food, even tnolrgn tnepanhandler may be in obvious dire need ofa good meal. people are fearful that thepanhandler will use the money to buy alco_hol or drugs. euite often, thd panhahdlershave only themselves to blame for this at-titude. As was said before, they are usuallydirty and incoherent; quite often, there i3alcohol on the panhandlers breath. Even ifthe panhandler won,t be using the moneyfor alcohol or drugs, the prosFective give'rthinks that he or she probably'wiil.

For this reason, you must present animage that keeps this out of the mind ofthe prospective giver. you must be neat

and coherent, and if you have been drink-ing, don't panhandle.By presenting the pro-spective giver with an image that they donot associate with panhandlers, you will notbe associated with panhandlers. This carriesnumerous advantages, as will be explainedlater.fn he first rule to remember when ap-I proaching an intended benefactor isI. to present a good image. In addition

to being dressed correcfly and presentably,you must be friendly and coherent. Do notbe hostile or obnoxious, as all too manybeggars are. Because your image is good,you should have no problem in making theinitial approach. At this point you mustmake your pitch, and the pitch has to be apretty good one, because you don't get asecond chance.

The second rule to remember is that themost successful business transactions arethose that leave both parties happy afterthe transaction is complete. Here, you are- literally - selling an image of yoursetf. lfthe person buys, he or she gives you somemoney and you are happy. In theory, youhave the money, and you shouldn't carehow the giver feels after the fact. This is atragic mistake made by most panhandlers.

14 THE BEGGAR,S IIANDBOOK

To be a successful panhandler you mustlead the intended giver to believe that youwill be slightly improved by the gift, how-ever small. When you make youl^ approach,be fearful, be distressed, be upset, even bea little disoriented, but be coherent. Leadthe intended giver to believe that his or hergift will restore your equilibrium. This willlead the giver to believe that he or she willfeel good about this transaction afterward.Of course, when You get what You want,look relieved. The giver will feel every bit asgood about the transaction as you do.There is no sense doing it the other w?Y; ?llthat does is engender hostility and - justpossibly - problems with the authorities inand around your chosen place of work. Onceyou are marked as a troublemaker, you willbe forced to move on and that can meangiving up a goldmine fon a tin quarry. I donot need to further belabor the irnplica-tions in terms of dollars received for effortmade.

Assuming you are in a transportationhub, and you have found your prospect, trythis pitch, "Excuse rne, I don't like imposing,but my wallet was taken and I need (how-ever much money) to get to (wherever).can you please help mez" lf you are in a

15

transportation hub, and you are selective inwho you deliver this pitch to, it can be ef-fective up to 90% of the time. Be sure tofind out how much it actually costs to getto the destination you have chosen. Fur-thermore, have a certain pained, plaintivesound in your voice. lf the person hems andhaws, pound the final nail into the coffin byadding: "l called home and my wife and kidsare worried sick about me. Please, help me."

Now, let's take a moment to study thispitch. You are, of course, free to use it, butit is my hope that you wilt consider whatmakes this one work, and develop your ownpitches around the same principtes.

Tl irst, by being in a transportation hub,H you are almost assuring that you willI choose a commuter. one of the great-

est fears of any commuter is gettingstranded without any money. For this rea-son, the commuter you approach is readilyable to identify with your plight and is wiil-ing to help. Like successful gamblers, per-haps they are a little superstitious andthink that if they help you, it wiil preventthis from ever happening to them. Theseand other considerations enter into playhere, and they all work in the favor of thepanhandler who uses thern.

16 THE BEGGAR'9 HANDBqqK

econd, the added part about thechildren generally wins them over.Perhaps that Person, too, has small

children and is fearful of being separatedfrom them, but this works only in the caseof younger intended givers. The pitch,however, does work well with women of allages.

The person may reply, "Why don't you goto a policeman?"

You answer, "l did," then get that fearfulsound into your voice again, and acld, "Theywalked around the Terminal with me, look-ing for the two guys who robbed me, butwe didn't find them. All l'm concerned withis getting home tonight. They said theycan't help me, not even a lousy loan. Thishas never happened to me before. What amI going to do?"

That will usually do it. lf the person offersto buy you a ticket, accept graciously; it canbe sold later, often for greater than listprice to someone who doesn't want to waitin line. lf the person simply gives youmoney, accept it with a smile and a replysuch as, "Thank you ever so much. My wifeand children are grateful, too. l'll be sure tohave little Polly say a prayer for you to-night, my good Samaritan, the person who

helped me when I was in need." For a per-sonalized touch, you might want to ask thegiver his or her first name and work it intoyour thank you.

lf the person wants to see you on thetrain, mumble something about having togo to the bathroom, now that all that ner-vous tension has been released. The personwill generally understand. lf that personwants to follow you into the bathroom...well, now you have a problem. (The chancesof this happening are so small that they canbe safely ignored.) In any event, if yourbenefactor suddenly becomes a pest, it iseasy to lose him or her in the crowd. Re-member, you are dressed specifically forthis purpose.

Now let's consider another hypotheticalexample; a gentleman, neatly and expen-sively dressed, whom you have assessed asbeing in finance walks by. You see that day'sedition of The Wail Street Journal neaflyrolled up under his arm. Now, if it is morn-ing, this is an event of no great significance,but if it is the evening, this is anothermatter all together. The Journal is thisman's Bible. use this fact. walk up to himand say, "Excuse me, Sir, but my wallet wastaken and I need some money to get home.

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18 THE BEGGAR'; ITANDItooK

My wife and children are worried." Then, be-fore he has a chance to say anything at all,add, "lnteresting story this morning aboutthe declining sales of cenentech's Activase.They say it will lower quarterly earnings byalmost fifty cents a share. And I thoughtActivase would be a real ground-breakingdrug, even at its high Price."

This is so incongruous with the situationof being in distress that your chosen bene-factor will be caught completely off guard.He or she will be surprised, but pleasantlyso. I can guarantee you this person will heeating out of your hand, but with theJournal, there are some rules to be followedand they are inviolable'

Do this only with the JournaL wnY? rc

is available everywhere in these UnitedStates, it is read by affluent people,and the people who read it take it veryseriously.

lf you have read that day's Journal,you can't be a bum or panhandler be-cause bums and panhandlers read thelocal papers, the tabloids, maybe thelocal semi-underground paper or (ifeducatedl The New York Times. But theJournal? Never!

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1.

2.

3. lf you are making an intelligent com-ment about something in that day'sJournal, you are probably at least in-terested in business. The person withthe Journalwill be interested, too, andstart talking to you. He (or she) is nowputty in your hands.

I might also add that it is in your betterinterests to choose a story on the frontpage of the Journal, and not from the"human Interest" column. The reason forthis is that while everyone buys and readsthe Journal, few read the whole thing.Everybody reads the front page, though,and you stand an almost certain chance ofpicking something that will be recognizedby the intended giver; if you choose some-thing buried in the middle of page 64, youare taking an unnecessary chance.

This technique can also work with theJournal's sister puhlication, BarronS. I oncesaw someone, obviously a bum, reading acurrent Barron's. Someone, obviously a fi-nancial type, approached him and said,"lmagine, a bum reading Barron's!"

The bum, not taking this lightly, replied,"Hey, look, Mister, if you buy me dinner, l'llgive you a hot commodity tip""

20 THEBEGGAR,S HANDBOOK

"You, ha ha! All right, give me the tipfirst."

"You'll want to go short on near termcopper this week, but buy and hold the longterm futures."

The financial type started listeningintently. "Why?"

"lncreasing demand for automobiles andparticularly automobile replacement partswill spur growth of demand for copper.Combine that with chronic but increasinglabor and civil unrest in the South Americancopper producing regions and you are sure-ly headed into a period of drastic priceincreases. Short term, though, warehousestocks are at an all-time high because ofwhat's entered the production pipeline dueto the recent minor price increases. Peoplewill look at the warehouse stock figures andact on them without looking any further."

"Thanks," the financial type said, "l canuse that."

Now, realizing that he couldn't be seen atdinner with this bum, the financial type hadto get out of it somehow. "Look," he said, "lgotta run. No time for dinner now. Here,take this."

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It was a crumpled fifty dollar bill.The bum was clearly aware that I had wit-

nessed the whole transaction. htrigued, I

walked over to him."lt was all nonsense (he used a stronger

word). Just a lot of financial jargon. Everyweek, I buy Barrons... it's not too expensive($2.00 the last time I |ooked), and it paysdividends that transcend any stock l'maware of."

"What do you mean?" 1 asked.

"Works every time. Learn the jargon andhit them with it. Hard. They don't knowwhat's going to happen any more than I do.Make a good argument, and make it logical.They never expect to see a beggar readingBarrons.lt's absurd, but you get their guarddown. They don't know what to expectthen. But when you tell them what theywant to hear, they reach for their wallets,especially when the ground rules have al-ready been established."

"What ground rules?""l told him he would have to take me to

dinner.""Oh yeah.""And like I said, it works every time."

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22 THE BEGGAR'g rL4NDBooK

"What do you mean?"

"Look."

He pulled out a roll of bills about an inchthick. There was nothing under a five inthere, but mostly tens and twenties, with afew fifties mixed in. He added his new fiftyto the kitty and resumed his reading.

"Excuse me. I have to get back to work."

There is a lesson to be learned here. First,he had his intended givers come to him. Inthe best of all worlds, this is what happens,hut it is so rare as to deserve comment ina book like this. In the real world of panhan-dling, before you take on the virtuoso stufflike this, you have to master the basics. Tomaster the basics, you enter the transac-tion as the active one and you have tomake the chosen giver become the activeone by reaching into his or her wallet. Whenthey are the active one in the transaction,they are giving you the money you want,which is the whole object of panhandling inthe first place.

It is also worthy of note that he lookedlike a bum; he was filthy. He could get awaywith this; in fact, it was essential to his par-ticular method of panhandling.

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T n addition to the financial approach,I this same tactic can be used with artsyI people (especially the dilettantish typeswho fancy themselves "experts"), animallovers, car lovers, college students, fashion-plates, computer jocks... well, here you arelimited only by your individual enterprise,enthusiasm, and interests.

Here's another example' a man smokingan expensive pipe comes along. Start thepitch about losing your wallet and needingto get home. The rest is simPle'

"Mister, isn't there some Latakia in thatblend? Tell me, do you believe the legendabout Latakia?"

"What do you mean?""That Latakia is cured in the smoke of

burning dried camel dung."(Not everyone knows this legend. You

have broken the ice and established a de-gree of common ground. That, plus youhave shown yourself to be astute.) Inhaledeeply through your nose again, "There I

smell it, the Latakia and perhaps a touch ofPerique."

He will be in a giving mood by this time.Vou must do as the bum with the Bar'

ron's did; vou rnust establish the ground

24 THE BEGGAR,S IIANDB)OK

rules. You must make them draw the con-clusion that you are dumb, but upon open-ing your mouth, you must become an Ein-stein, a veritable cornucopia of brilliantverbiage. once you have established thatyou are smart and possibly - Ood forbid -smarter than your chosen giver, you arethe one in control. You set the pace and youmake the demands. Once you have estab-lished this relationship, and this is the rela-tionship you want, you have won. Fromthat point on it's just a matter of howmuch you get. When you use the specializedapproaches discussed here and direct themat the right person, you do not get nickelsand dimes out of the deal; these yieldstrictly folding stuff, and usually five dol-lars or more.

Let's consider one more case, then we'llmove on.

You spy a musician. He has a cello. Heseems to be a good prospect. We'll take itfrom there.

"Excuse me, Sir. l'm in trouble. Can youhelp me?"

(This is the beginning of most on-the-street scams and con jobs. He will probablybe on guard. No problem.)

25

efore he has a chance to raise a hueand cry, ?dd, "A cello. MY God, whatwonderful music. Darker than a violin

or viola, yet not as ponderous as a bass.Jesus, I remember seeing casals at Marl-borough... he was playing the Dvorak con-certo. Had it on records too. Loved thatopening passage in the first movement.And Bartok. Do you play any of the StringQuartets? You probably could. I think theSecond and Fifth Quartets are the best (so

do most critics). The Fifth takes on certainatonal characteristics... very enjoyable."

At this point, he either likes you and is

more than willing to give, or has dismissedyou as a knowledgeable, but unlikeablenutcake. Musicians are generally quite nicepeople and generous to a fault, especiallywith fellow musicians and music lovers. Butyou must have a good, factually accuratespiel. Not difficult, but you cannot do thison a universal basis. lf, however, you chooseto concentrate only on cello players, youare apt to starve to death. Spread your ex-pertise around through a range of fields,keep it up to date and be sure that you'reright when you use it (which you won'thesitate to do when the opportunity pre-sents itself).

26 THE BEGGAR'g rrANDBooK

omen present a whole new set ofproblems. Here is a good approach.Do not start with the line about

losing your wallet. Find someone suitable,then muster up all your acting talent. Smilebroadly, approach the woman and say,

"Patricia! How are you? lt's been severalmonths, now, hasn't it?"

At this point, she is completely baffled.Don't give her a chance to talk - at al].Instead, continue with:

"How's your Billy? And the cat? What washis name, oh yes, let's see, it was Snooker,wasn't it? Look, I loved having you over lastSummer out on the lsland, and I would loveto have you over again. Tell me, have youdone any recent photo sessions with Tom?"

Now, you are associating her with amodel. She's flattered, but who's this patri-cia? She will tell you she's not Patricia, butshe's intrigued with it all.

"Oh, PatriciatAlways the practicaljoker! ltis you, and Tom's over there, photograph-ing the whole thing for my surprise partynext week."

Well, the ice is broken. Continue the cha-rade, but finally give in. She's probably yourfriend by now. Then say:

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"Too bad you're not Patricia. I have a littleproblem. My wallet was stolen and I needtrain fare home. After all, I have to get backand feed my cats, oh, sorry, but the resem-blance is so uncanny..."

She'll give you whatever you need, pro-vided she has it. A routine like this deservesand generally receives a minirnum of tendollars.

There is, however, an exception. Do notdo this to New York City women who haveseen and heard everything, and will doubt-less think that this is a pickup line. Womenin other cities are usually not so enamoredof their own self worth, so this can (anddoes) work elsewhere.

At this point, I might add that homosex-ual men tend to be more generous than les-bians. I do not know why this should be, ex-cept for the income differential that is sup-posed to exist between these two groups.lf it's your thing, and you're comfortableplaying the part of a homosexual, you canmake tons of money. Of course, there's al-ways the possibility that you might becalled upon to back this uP...

Now, let's look at all of these routines andsee if there is something general that canbe derived and used.

28 THE BEGGAR'g rL4NDBooK

irst, the approach was made. The in-tended giver may have expectedsomething, but what he or she got

was not what he or she expected. Theelement of surprise is important. Yes, makeit clear that you are not a bum, transient orpanhandler. No. You are special. You don'tlook the part and what's on the outsideconfirms this. When you open your mouth,you show them that what's on the insideisn't what's inside a typical bum or pan-handler. You, therefore, are deserving ofrespect and some minor f inancialassistance.

Second, you are playing on their fears.You might not see your children that night.They will worry. lf this person does notcome across, he or she is apt to believe thathe or she is responsible for some tear-stained pillows in suburbia that night.

Third, you are demonstrating that youare not only their equal, but perhaps theirsuperior. By giving them a chance to help,you are making them feel good, becauseyou are making them feel momentarilysuperior to you. The giver's attitude be-comes one of, "You may be smart, but atleast l've got the green."

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How you dress is what largely makes itpossible for you to begin your approach toyour intended giver. As has already beensaid but cannot he over-emphasized, do notlook like a bum. You want to make seriousmoney, not the little dribs and drabs thatmight be occasionally dropped into a tincup and amount to a few dollars after along workday. You have to look the part ofthe stories you are telling to these people.Dressing like an upper level executive won'tcut it because people like that never seemto be in trouble, and most of your intendedgivers are more afraid of their bosses thanthey are of a crazed panhandler approach-ing him or her with a stiletto drawn andmurderous intentions (which is a mere day-to-day experience for most large citycommuters).

Look like someone who works in the mail-room, or shipping. Yes, wear a tie, a cleanshirt, and a sweater. Since one's hair isusually what gets dirty first, it is importantthat the hair be clean and well-kept. Also, besure the fingers and the fingernails areclean; you don't want these people to beafraid of catching something when theyput money in your hand. You want to comeacross as someone who is starting out in life

30 THE BEGGAR,S IIANDBOOK

and doing everything he possibly can do tobetter himself and make life better for hisfamily. Life is tough, especially for someonewho is just starting out in the big city. Allthese factors weigh heavily in your favor.

Tf o not wear loud colors or anythingI I that's in bad taste. Do not wear any-u thing that might identify you withany political or religious group, no mafferhow mainstream it may be. Do wear a thin,plain, gold wedding band (it can be fake) anda cheap wristwatch. Do be neat and pre-sentable.

Smoking is an interesting problem. Somepotential givers are drawn to it as a magnetattracts nails;others are totally repulsed byclouds of cigarette smoke. The best generaladvice is don't smoke on the job. lf you getan enthusiastic smoker who turns out to bea giver, you might want to mention thatyou don't have any cigarettes, either. ltcan't hurt, especially if you don't intend tobuy or smoke them.

Another interesting problem is the rain.Rain has a strange effect on commutersand people moving through the street - ittends to speed them up. This can work toyour advantage, in that people are moreapt to make a snap judgement to give you

31

something. This can also work against you;they can simply pass you by, only morequickly than usual. Umbrellas are an exten-sion of this phenoffi€hon; people with um-brellas are usually too busy maneuveringthe umbrella to give you any money, butwhen you encounter a giver with an um-brella, they are usually very generous.

Another matter that has to he consid-ered is the use of props. For the purposes ofthis discussion, we will consider "props" tobe any physical objects, in your possessionor your proximity, that can be used to youradvantage. When you are starting out,props are better avoided because theyprovide a crutch that detracts from devel-oping your verbal patter, which is the mostimportant weapon in the panhandler's ar-senal.

Props, when used, must be carefullyselected. A pair of glasses and a few text-books automatically lend credence to yourclaim of being a college student. A briefcasemakes you into an office worker or anexecutive. A violin case makes you either aconcert musician or a contract killer. Someprops also overpower the delivery of yourspiel. lt is important that the prop be a sup-porting element of your presentation,

32 THE BEGGAR'9 IIANDBqqK

something that increases sympathy for youand/or makes you and/or your plight morebelievable. All this is accomplished easilyenough, if a little care is used, but examplesof a prop that works and one that doesn'twill be given.

T f you are a musician and you can play

I well, there is a good approach you canI use. Play your music and play it well.Let's say you're a violinist, though thisapproach can be used with virtually anyinstrument short of the comb and tissuepaper. (There is a comb and tissue papervirtuoso who regularly works 42nd Streetand Third Avenue in Manhattan. Judgingfrom what I saw in the cap he had on thesidewalk at his feet, he does not do verywell.)

When your intended giver comes by, playthe passage incorrectly. Make it somethingpainful. lf you have a violin, you have an ad-vantage; you can remove a string. Withother instruments, the problem is not sovisible, so you must be prepared to explainit to a bunch of neophytes. Make it good,though; if you're playing a trumpet, younever know when you might haPPen toselect a professional trumpet mechanic.

33

Explain as follows,"l'm a poor student. I need that string.

Can you please help me?"It is easier than you might think to get

the right p€rson; people are touchy aboutmusic.

"How much do they cost?"Give a realistic figure; you never know

when you might be talking to the propri-etor of a violin string emporium. I can guar-antee you that you will get a hefty portionof the amount you asked for and, as oftenas not, even more than you asked for.

On the other hand, props can backfire.Suppose you are standing somewhere witha cute dog.

"What a cute dog." They have made theapproach. lf they look prosperous enough,you can continue with your presentation,"Thank you. Fifi is a really great dog andshe's due at the vet for her shots andphysical in about twenty more minutes,but, blast it all, ldon't have cab fare and l'ma long way from where I live. They won't letme take her on the subway, and I didn'tknow that until it was too late. What am I

going to do?"

34 THE BEGGAR,S IIANDBOOK

Now, the chances are only about 50/50that you'll get anything, let alone cab fare.Why is this?

ell, by this time, your intendedgiver is more enamored of the dogthan he or she is of you or your

story. This person couldn't care less aboutyou, but Fifi... that's another story. lf thedog could ask, the dog would be in a cab bynow, racing to the vet's office. But it is youwho's doing the asking. lt's you who's goingto pocket the money. lt's you who's holdingthe dog that's stolen your spotlight. As theintended giver walks away, talking to himor herself about what a cute dog it was,you are left shaking your head wonderingwhere you went wrong.

Don't use animals - especially cats - asprops. People are either in love with them,in which case the animal overpowers youand your message, or they are detested, inwhich case your intended giver will be dis-inclined to help you anyway. Most peopleare, however, neutral toward animals; un-fortunately, this is how they will react toyour message on behalf of the animal. Sure,you'll occasionally find someone who'llcome across, but all things considered, using

35

animals as props is not a paying proposition.Stay away from them.

Throughout this book, I have concen-trated almost exclusively on telling thestory from a male point of view, butwomen can also be successful panhandlers.In fact, women have several natural advan-tages over men in this regard, and they canuse these advantages to increase their in-come from panhandling.

Here again, the woman panhandler mustbe presentable, giving the image of a juniorlevel employee at "Something, Somewhere,lnc.," the same as the male working personin a temporary jam. Always wear conserva-tive clothes in subdued colors so you caneasily blend into the crowd of movinghumanity that's sure to be all around you.Wear no way-out hairstyles, French mani-cures, designer shoes (mid-heel pumps orrunning shoes identify urban workingwomen today), cucci handbags, expensiveeyewear - none of this, because you aresupposed to be in trouble even if it is onlya temporary problem. lt is important thatthe female panhandler wear lipstick - mostwomen working in offices do - but only in-expensive lipstick in suhdued, conservative

3736 THEBEGGAR,SIIANDBOOK

colors. wearing "coco Red" chanel lipstickwill betray you, even if the lipstick is an im-portant part of the picture you want toconvey.

omen have an advantage in choos-ing their intended givers, too. Menare very easy marks in this respect.

The sexual aspect is easy enough to under-stand, but there are other considerationsto be taken into account, too. lf you areyoung, you suddenly represent one of thegreatest fears of the middle aged man, thatof a daughter or niece stranded somewhereout in the cold, cruel city without re-sources. An intended giver who is put intothis position is easy to hit up for money. lfyou are about his own age, you representanother, equally valid fear, that of a wife orgirlfriend in the same unfortunate predica-ment. The results, in terms of income, arethe same.

Another weapon women have in theiremotional arsenals is tears. Men usually can-not handle a crying woman. lf it is just amatter of giving up a few dollars, then thatis much easier than enduring a tearful scenein a public place. Never underestimate thevalue of a few drops rolling down some-

one's face; if a statistical study was everdone, tears might be found to be worthtwo to three dollars each.

lTl he author knows of an Oberlin grad-I uate in Fine Arts who worked at theI international terminal at Kennedy

International Airport for a period of lessthan four months. Despite being 22 Yearsold, she looked no more than 17 or '18 andshe carried a small piece of luggage as heronly prop. She used the line that she wasstranded at the airport and she had to getto her home in westchester. (Here, one seesthe importance of research; had she claim-ed to live in the city, "home" would be onlya single subway token away.)

By concentrating her efforts on middle-aged, upper-crust "businessman" types, sheattained the incredible batting average ofsomething over .500! That is, out of everytwo people she approached, she would getmoney out of at least one of them. Theaverage handout, ten dollars, but quiteoften a lunch or dinner was thrown in forgood measure.

Of course, it was all a ruse. The reality ofthis situation was that she wanted toreturn to Oberlin to purchase and operatean artists'supply shop, for which she need-

38 THE BEGGAR'; HANDBqqK

ed a $25,000 down payment. The bankswere characteristically unsympathetic, soshe did what any resourceful entrepreneurwould do; she resorted to creative financ-ing. She put all the money she had into acoach airplane ticket to New York City; theremainder of her funds she kept in the formof cash to live on until she had her methoddown to perfection. She found a cheap (butsafel room in the neighborhood near PrattInstitute in Brooklyn and, like countlessother commuters, every day she took thesubway to and from her place of work. I

might add that when she returned to Ohio,she flew first class, made the down pay-ment for the store in cash, and had severalthousand dollars in change left over for herown discretionary use. Her income was atleast eight thousand dollars a month, butshe had some advantages (her age and ap-pearancel and she worked some outstand-ing turf.

Women also have to use their imagi-nations in selecting a place to work, andworking that place to yield maximumincome. Women also have to experimentwith what they must say, the fine points ofhow to dress, etc., etc., though the generalapproach is no different in either case.

39

o, in conclusion, begging is every bitas much a game of psychology as ischess. Even a merely competent chess

player can beat a champion if allowed toblow smelly cigar smoke into the cham-pion's face. By using the techniques de-scribed in this book, you set up the smokescreen you need for success, but it is only hyapplying your own enthusiasm, intelligence,and imagination that you will make thissmoke screen work for you to achieve yourdesired end, the handout.

After you have mastered the techniquesdescribed in this hook and added a few ofyour own to personalize your style (afterall, what intelligent beggar wants to be likeevery other panhandler on the street?), youwill find that begging is good work. Whenyou confront it with the right attitude, itcan even be fun while providing a prettygood income for the amount of time andeffort invested. What more can anyone askfrom any job?