The best year in your lifetime

has already started

x

what to expect in this talk?

- some remarks on the purpose of the program

- some remarks about your situation

- some remarks on cultural differences and understanding

- some advice and suggestions

Why do Rotarians invest time in this program?

To further international understanding

By enabling you to study some of the problems and accomplishments of people in a country other than your own.

To enable you to live a year in an environment entirely different from your own.

To enable you to meet people of different cultures to broaden your outlook and enabling you to cope with day to day problems different from the ones you experience at home.

To Cope – To Adapt An experience extremely valuable for your further life.

Develop ToleranceAn experience of utmost importance for your environment and country.

Develop Ambassadorial skillsIn this country and, after this year in your country, you may become a trait d’union between groups in thesecountries.

This program will help you to learn

Gastclubs, gastouders:Onderschat de inspanning niet die deze jonge mensen moeten leveren!

Ze hebben hun familie, vrienden, taal en eigen cultuur achter zich gelaten om hier iets nieuws te beleven en dat op een leeftijd van 15 tot 18 jaar oud. Ze komen in families die ze niet kennen en gaan naar een school waar ze niemand kennen. Ze willen graag nu geaccepteerd en opgenomen worden, maar ze weten vaak niet dat daar veel tijd overheen gaat. Deze jonge mensen verdienen onze bewondering en alle hulp die we ze kunnen geven.

Het zijn tieners die veel minder vrijheid gewend zijn dan onze jongeren van hun leeftijd en die moeite kunnen hebben om met die vrijheid om te gaan.

Doseert u die vrijheid met kleine beetjes en neem gas terug zodra u merkt dat het niet goed gaat.

Doseert u ook onze openheid op alle gebieden en ontzie hun, door cultuur bepaalde, gevoelens.

Realiseert u zich dat we in Europa en in Nederland in het bijzonder een in de wereld onge-evenaarde manier van met elkaar omgaan hebben. De jongelui komen in het algemeen uit zeer beschermde milieus waarin de manier van denken mij vaak doet denken aan toen ik 18 was.

Ze zijn door en in hun eigen cultuur gevormd en hebben de kennis en het gedrag van hun leeftijdgenoten in hun land.

Ze zijn via de in hun land bestaande gewoonten en regels in dit programma gekomen, in ruil voor de mogelijkheid om onze eigen jongeren een unieke ervaring te geven.

Maak contact met de jongelui in het buitenland of die daar waren; dan kunt u beter begrijpen wat uw pleegkind ondergaat. zie www.rotary-jeugduitwisseling.nl -> participants

Back to you exchangeesWelcome, again and enjoy your year !!

There will be ups and downs, buttogether with the people in your environment You will solve all problems !!!

Host Rotary

Club

Host Families

ExchangeStudent /

Counselor

Your Community

School

Friends in High School

Host RotaryDistrict

Your Host Family

Be a real member of the family, Join the family-festivities (they come first)

Adapt, adapt, adapt so….be prepared to make concessions

Learn about family rules (“first night questions”) and respect them

Ask your mum and dad, your sisters and brothers to show you how to behave and ask them to correct you when, unknowingly, you trespass unwritten rules.

Gastouders/Pleegouders:

Andere gewoonten, andere cultuur, andere benadering van ouderen

loop de “first night questions” door

A crisis is when you can't say: "let's forget the whole thing".

A careless word may kindle strife.A cruel word may wreck a life.A timely word may level stress.A loving word may heal and bless.

Voorkom een crisis!!

niet naar bed voordat probleem besproken is

Cultural differences

The Cultural The Cultural IcebergIceberg

1/81/8thth above above the surfacethe surface

7/87/8thths below s below the surfacethe surface

Conscious Conscious behaviorsbehaviors

Unconscious Unconscious beliefs and beliefs and

valuesvalues

what is clear to you may be occluded for me

what you see is not what I see

the message you send is not what I receive

“here we see a nice exchangee

surrounded by careful people

from his hostclub”

“here we see a burdensome exchangee

surrounded by victims of the RI-YEP

in his hostclub”

Two stories

when a report is given by two reporters you will hear two different reports

Two stories, but about the same person

while this may be true within one culture it is the common experience between different cultures

every outing has hidden messages recognised by friends/family/peers/cultural fellows

we also use to see things which are really not there

Ethnocentrism:Ethnocentrism:

The universal tendency for any The universal tendency for any culture to see its own values and culture to see its own values and practices as natural and correct.practices as natural and correct.

x

Ethnorelativism:Ethnorelativism:

The acquired ability to see many The acquired ability to see many values and behaviors as cultural values and behaviors as cultural rather than universal.rather than universal.

““The world in which you were The world in which you were born is just one model of born is just one model of reality.reality. Other cultures are not failed Other cultures are not failed attempts at being like yours. attempts at being like yours. They are unique manifestations They are unique manifestations of the human spirit ”. of the human spirit ”. Wade DavisWade Davis

darker

we all project our background to the environment

So, remember that your perception is coloured by the environment and your own background.

Some lessons lessons for exchangees as well as for hosts:for exchangees as well as for hosts:

Be aware of your own hidden values in the Be aware of your own hidden values in the iceberg.iceberg.

Don’t assume similar values. Don’t assume similar values. Adapting means taking risks and trying new Adapting means taking risks and trying new

behaviors.behaviors.

Be Like Mickey Mouse !!!Be Like Mickey Mouse !!!

have Big EyesBig EarsBig Noseanda Small Mouth

we all know it is difficult:

when you focus on one image you can not see the other side of the story

Publisher: Intercultural PressNijgh en van Ditmaravailable in English

Host Rotary

Club

Host Families

ExchangeStudent /

Counselor

Your Community

School

Friends in High School

Host RotaryDistrict

SchoolOur system is different, less social subjectsTry and find the subjects you can do and change subjects when your Dutch becomes better

Don’t skip classes without permission

Show your interest in school-subjects and participate in everything. The reward of the teachers is your motivation

Language:Work hard to learn Dutch (in four months you will understand perfectly and one months later you will dare to join conversations)

School:

Laat werkstuk maken over Nederlands onderwerp in “eigen” taal

be inquisitive, (there is much information about this country also in your language, and about our mutual connections in history. Start to study such a subject and write a paper about it in your language)

join a sports-club and or a music-club or a choir

Host Rotary

Club

Host Families

ExchangeStudent /

Counselor

Your Community

School

Friends in High School

Host RotaryDistrict

Rotaryclub

visit your club OFTEN (weekly or every fortnight)Choose another member every time to sit next to and show your interest in her/his family and job.

(in this country young people of your age are very welcome to START the conversation with an elderly person)

Host Rotary

Club

Host Families

ExchangeStudent /

Counselor

Your Community

School

Friends in High School

Host RotaryDistrict

Friends

Try and try hard to make local friends (difficult!)

Get to know your fellow exchangees from the Northern Hemisphere

Join and mix, do not stay together with same language speaking fellows

Introduce your local friends in the world of exchangees and vice versa

Do not use your host-parents house as a youth-hostel but let it be the central spot in your daily life

Host Rotary

Club

Host Families

ExchangeStudent /

Counselor

Your Community

School

Friends in High School

Host RotaryDistrict

Host-District = “The Netherlands”

Dutch Orientation CourseRotex-weekendOrientation outbounds 2006-2007Residentie-weekend in the HagueWadlopenEuropatourFarewell Northies

New schoolyear

Go to www.rotary-jeugduitwisseling.nl AGENDA

Make www.rotary-jeugduitwisseling.nlyour favorite

forms to downloadpictures of happeningsnewsrules contributions of participantslinks to weblogs and websitesand moreclick on a flag to read in that language

x

Traveling Outside the Netherlands - no travelling alone

Only official Rotary trips, School trips or Hostfamily-trips are permitted

But always: your natural parents must give written permission to travel abroad (form on the website)

- Where you go - How long

your host-parents and your hostclub must give permission and finally

Ad PerquinAd Perquin = inboundcoordinator will decidedecideabout permission

read and maintain your email-boxso that you can communicate with us andwe can communicate with all of you

Onze taak in Onze taak in GastclubsGastclubsPleeggezinnenPleeggezinnenCommissie JaaruitwisselingCommissie Jaaruitwisseling

Een zo veilig mogelijke omgeving aanbiedenEen zo veilig mogelijke omgeving aanbieden

Toezien op het welzijn en Toezien op het welzijn en voorkomen dat een student fysieke, sexuele, voorkomen dat een student fysieke, sexuele, emotionele of financiele bedreigingen ervaart of emotionele of financiele bedreigingen ervaart of misbruikt wordt enmisbruikt wordt ende wegen openhouden om zulke problemen op te de wegen openhouden om zulke problemen op te lossenlossen

Wat moet je doen als een student over zulke dingen Wat moet je doen als een student over zulke dingen komt klagen? komt klagen?

Luister goed en maak duidelijk dat het heel goed is dat Luister goed en maak duidelijk dat het heel goed is dat de student erover spreekt.de student erover spreekt.

Blijf kalm en zorg dat de student zich veilig voelt.Blijf kalm en zorg dat de student zich veilig voelt.

Moedig de student aan om zijn verhaal met u te delen.Moedig de student aan om zijn verhaal met u te delen.

Beloof nooit dat het tussen u en de student blijft, leg de Beloof nooit dat het tussen u en de student blijft, leg de noodzaak uit dat Ad Perquin en Marijke Bollweg worden noodzaak uit dat Ad Perquin en Marijke Bollweg worden geinformeerd. geinformeerd.

OmschrijvingenOmschrijvingen

sexuele en fysieke bedreigingen/misbruiksexuele en fysieke bedreigingen/misbruik

emotioneel misbruik:emotioneel misbruik: Gebrek aan liefde en affectieGebrek aan liefde en affectie

Over-beschermendOver-beschermend Voortdurende kritiek, hoge druk om meer te Voortdurende kritiek, hoge druk om meer te presteren. presteren. Pesten, tiraniserenPesten, tiraniseren Neerbuigend behandelen, beschimpenNeerbuigend behandelen, beschimpen Schending privacySchending privacy

financieel misbruikfinancieel misbruik Oneigenlijk gebruik van middelen van de studentOneigenlijk gebruik van middelen van de student

Wees bedacht op de gezinssituatie:

eigen kinderen geven het goede voorbeeldluisteren naar en beschermen hun pleegbroer/zusbetrekken ze in hun vriendenkring

Maar niet onbekend is:jalouzie en gevolgen daarvaneigen kind neemt afstand van ouders en studentbedreigend gedrag, fysiek geweldrelatie die emotioneel of sexueel te ver gaat

Exchangees,Exchangees, Problems?Problems?

Don’t suffer in silence!Don’t suffer in silence!

If you have a problem or are worried about something, If you have a problem or are worried about something, always tell someone you trust about it,always tell someone you trust about it,

contact your host parent, host club counselor, contact your host parent, host club counselor, schoolcounselor, host club chairperson or your junior schoolcounselor, host club chairperson or your junior counselor. counselor.

Prevent risksPrevent risks

Always tell someone where you are going and when you Always tell someone where you are going and when you will be home. Be sure to call your host parents if your will be home. Be sure to call your host parents if your plans change while you are away from home.plans change while you are away from home.

If you are out at night, stay in places with streetlights and If you are out at night, stay in places with streetlights and make sure that you don’t get separated from your make sure that you don’t get separated from your friends.friends.

If you do get lost or separated, go to a shop or place If you do get lost or separated, go to a shop or place where you will be seen by lots of people to ask where you will be seen by lots of people to ask directions.directions.

Keep your host family’s address and telephone number with Keep your host family’s address and telephone number with you at all times.you at all times.

When you travel by train or bus keep a card with final When you travel by train or bus keep a card with final destination and in-between stations.destination and in-between stations.

Always keep enough minutes on your prepay card to make a Always keep enough minutes on your prepay card to make a phone call or use the public phone with money.phone call or use the public phone with money.

Never get into a car with someone you don’t know.Never get into a car with someone you don’t know.

If you are on a bus or train, and someone makes you feel If you are on a bus or train, and someone makes you feel uncomfortable, move to a seat near other persons.uncomfortable, move to a seat near other persons.

If you need to use a public toilet in a city, go with a friend.If you need to use a public toilet in a city, go with a friend.

Dress and behave sensible and responsibleDress and behave sensible and responsible

Expect privacy, also in your house and at schoolExpect privacy, also in your house and at school

Say NO to unwanted touching or affectionSay NO to unwanted touching or affection

Say NO to inappropriate demands or requestsSay NO to inappropriate demands or requests

Report any situation in which you feel threatened Report any situation in which you feel threatened to someone you trust immediately.to someone you trust immediately.

Always remember – Always remember –

We are responsible for the well being of youWe are responsible for the well being of you

There will be ups and downs, but

Together with your - hostfamily- club counselor- junior counselor- Ad Perquin- Marijke Bollweg

You will solve all problems!!!

At the end of this year you will go home without a diplomaHas it been just an extended holiday?

Dr. Mitchell Hammer(international consultant intercultural affairs)says in a sociological study :

The impact of the experience abroad are extensive

- it reduces prejudices, ethnocentrism

- it increases students’ interest in other cultural practices

- helps students overcome ‘us versus them’ polarization

- it aids in the discovery of common bonds across cultural boundaries

- it includes first and foremost, a substantial increase in intercultural competence

acknowledgement:this talk is based

on five years in Youth Exchange (thanks to Rotary Clubs in Netherlands exchangees and hostparents here and overseas). on essays written by Dennis White and material compiled by him (RC Sturgeon Bay, A Rotarian motivated by his love for kids from all over the world)

on many “talks” by email with “counterparts”