RAYING A TROMBON

A Rather Easy Matter the Musi ¬

cian Seemed to Think

SUCH A SIMPLE INSTRUMENT

Rut Somehow or Another the Ex ¬

planation Only Muddled the ManWho Wanted to Learn and Who De ¬

cided to Tacklo an Accordion

The band WUH playing loudly In theTrlnkfcstblerpirtcn and the little baldeaded mail had his eyes fastened Interc oiy on the trombone player Whenthe players stopped to recuperate hebeckoned the man who works tho loosehorn over to his table and ordered twoglasses of sehoenesbrnue

My name Is Biggs said the manwhose hair was absent One of mylungs is trying to quit work and thedoctor advises me to break up Us shift-less

¬

habits by blowing a brass Thecareless way you yank that pump hornlooks good and I want you to put meon

What do you want to know askedthe

musicianJustabout how you handle

that wind machine so nonchalantlyThe trombone Is very simple re-

liled the muslkcr wipIng his Upswhich curled In thick red vqluteseThe slide Is divided Into seven shifts

or positions about three Inches apartStarting with the lowest note in the

first positIonthe slide closedyou getB flat Push out the tubes and you hitsuccessively A A teat Q F sharp F-ond E

Thats only seven notes objectedBiggs

Yes Getting the rest depends onhow you pucker your lips In the firstposition you can make figuring up ¬

ward B flat FD flat DF B flat and-O In the second you obtain A E AO sharp E G and A The third givesyou A lint E flat A flat C E flat andA flat It works out the same all theway down

There arc higher notes that I didntmention but you wont want to mon ¬

key with them But n good player hasa compass of more than three octaves

Biggs looked troubledLet mo see he said You start In

the first position with B flatYes replied the otherthat is

provided you ore playing In the bassclef In the treble clef tho first post ¬

tion Is C-

Whntl claimed Biggs Its onenote one time and another another

In the treble clef explained themusician the trombone Is a B flathorn In the bass clef It Is a C horn

Biggs mopped his browSay that again will you he ap ¬

caledDont you see came the answer

When the first position Is C Its aB flat horn When tho same shift isB flat Its a C horn

Biggs unbuttoned his coatYou may call this thing simple he

salt but If it Is Ill give myself up atthe nearest asylum You are talkingantonymsThe

grinnedWell take one thing at a time he

said In getting ut what a B flathorn Is lets consider a cornet

Lets If Its simpler said BiggshopefullyIts

Its always u B flathorn replied the other Then he add ¬

ed Exrept when Its an A hornBiggs gave a sickly smile

The lowest note on a cornet whenopen when no Ikeys are pressed down

Is really B flat said the bandmanRut Ir Is nIctJ C

After suffering for seven yearsds woman was restored to health

>y d Vegetablempound her letterMrs Sallie Frencb1 of Paucaunla

hid Ter writes toAirs Pinkhamt I had female troubles for seven

years was all rundown and so neryons I could not do anything Thedoctors treated mo for different troublesbut did me no good While In this con¬

0 dition I wrote to Mrs PInkham for adrice and took Lydia E Pinkhams Vegetable Compound and I am now strongand well

FACTS FOR SICK WOMENFor thirty years Lydia E Pink

hams Vegetable Compound madefrom roots and herbs has been thestandard remedy for female illsand bas positively cured thousands tJl

womenwho have been troubledwithdisplacements inflammation ulcera-tion fibroid tumors irregularitiesperiodio pains backache that bearUtVUJ IT l feeling flatulency indinestionjdizzhiessjornervousprostrationWhy dont you try it

Dont hesitato to write to MrsPinkham if there is anythingabout your sickness you do notunderstand She will treat youretterinconfldonce andadvisoyou

free No woman ever regrettedJ writing her and because of heri vast experience she Las helpedthousand Addreu Lynn IIUI1

nIJ

That doesnt make It C said BiggsFor nil practical purposes It does

was the reply There Is a reason fordoing this but its complicated and atpresent Im keeping to simple facts

Yes Indeed murmured BiggsIn an orchestra for instance when

the first violins are playing In 0 nat¬

ural the cornetists score Is two semitonos higher nnd Is thus written In D

two sharps When the violins arelor in D the cornet player Is toot

In E or four sharps But If thingskept on this way the cornetist wouldsoon be lost In a confusion of sharpsand double sharps so he slips an Acrook on his instrument That raisesthe signature three semitones Whenthe fiddles play in A or three sharpsthe cornetist is blowing along the easypath of C natural

Look here said Biggs If mywife is playing Under the Pink LilacBush on the piano couldnt I playwith her from the song

Not unless you can scoreIpose as you go alongsician The system looks queer atfirst but Its logical Its purpose is tobring the same music within the nat¬

ural compass of all the Instruments ofa band or an orchestra But I > youare going to ploy the trombone youwont have to bother your head aboutany of this as trombono music Is now¬

adays always written In the bass clefThen what have you been talking

about It for and mixing me upshouted Biggs Jumping up

What are you getting mad aboutasked the trombonist

Im not mad replied Biggs Imonly going to make my will and buyan accordion Washington Post

No Longer a Secr totSo that great Inventor Is dead andhis wonderful secret Is lost

Not at all Ho told It to his wifeJust before he died

Yes thats what I mean Philadel ¬

pbla Press

People seldom Improve when theynave no model but themselves to copyafter Goldsmith

English Etchings

Between 30000 and 40000 tortoisesare Imported Into Great Britain annu ¬

allySmokingby womon In restaurants Is

vory largely on the Increase In Lon ¬

donThebeefeaters the kings bodyguard

on state occasions consist of a cap ¬

tain six ether officers and 140 yeomenMarriage Is on the decrease In Eng ¬

land and the Throne says very seri ¬

ously and earnestly that It Is becauseof the suffragette agitation

Women In England seem to havetaken more kindly of late to journalIsm and every ono Is scribbling ac¬

cording to one authority from thepeeress to the porters daughter

New York City

Nearly onethird of all the childrenborn in New York city die before theybecome three years old

When New York city gets Its waterfrom the Catskills tho longest flowwill be from a point 130 miles fromthe city hall

Inside of twelve years New Yorkpromises to be the largest city on theearth It Is now growing more thansix times as fast as London

Now York citys smallest borough hasthe largest population Manhattanwith Its 14038 acres has a populationof 22nOOOO and Queens the largestborough with 82803 acres has a popu ¬

lation of 224000 Now York Herald

A Shaking Up

may all be very well so far as the trustsare concerned but not when it domesto chills and fever and malaria Quitthe quinine and take a real cureBallards Herbine Contains no harmfuldrugs and is as certain as taxes If itdoesnt cure you get your money backSold by A R Fisher

Earth and MoonThu moons real diameter is 21GO

miles not much more than a fourth ofthe earths Her surface Is 14600000square miles or between a thirteenthand a fourteenth of the earths Thoearths volume exceeds the moonsnearly fortynine and onehalf timesbut the moons material Is lighter thanthe earths for the onrths mass ex-

ceeds¬

hers not fortynine and onehalftimes only but nearly eightyone andonehalf times New York American

Historical1 RevelationHow dfd you distinguish Achilles

from the girls asked the GreeksHow could you see that he was a

man in womans garbHo didnt explained Ulysses

drop his handkerchief every time heturned aroundKansas City Journal

Slightly Colder With Snow

When you see that kind of a weatherforecast you know that rheumatismweather is at hand Get ready for itnow by getting a bottle of BallardsSnow Liniment Finest tiling madefor rheumatism chilblains frost bitesore and stjff joints And muscles allaches and pains 25c SOc and 100 abottle Sold by A R Fisher

In His LineIm surprised that you should be

so Interested In watching those sillydudesForce

of habit I guess Im presi-dent

¬

of a real estate improvement

companyWell

Well theyre a vacant IptFhlladelphla Press

L-

o

THE PLAIN TRUTH

What Mure Can Cloverport Peo

pit Ask

When wellknown residents and high¬

ly respected people of Cloverport makesuch statements as the following itmust carry conviction to every reader-

J C Weatherholt living on highSt Cloverport Ky says Twoyears ago I did not think it possiblethat I would ever be a well man and Infact I have setteled up my affairs be-

lieving¬

it would not be possible for meto last much longer I cannot describethe misery I endured from pains throughmy back and whenever I stooped theywould become so sharp that it reallyfelt as if some one were thrusting aknife into my kidneys I often becamedizzy dark spots would float before myeyes and I would have to grasp some ¬

thing to keep from falling My jointsbecame swollen to twice their naturalsize and I lost weight rapidly until Iwas a skeleton My kidney secretionscontained a sediment and doctorsmedicines did not help me nor did themany gauranteed cures that 1

took It was finally my good fortuneto hear about Doans Kidney Pills andI immediately procured a box atFishers drug store I was surprisedat the results receivedand before I hadused the contents of the first box therewas a marked improvement in my con-

dition¬

Thus encourages I continuedusing them until completely cured andI am now as well as any man in thiscounty I give Doans Kidney Pillsthe credit and recommend them atevAy opportunity-

For sale by all dealers Price 50

cents FosterMilburn Co BuffaloNew York sole aeents for the United

StatesRememberthe sameDoandandt-

ake no other

Van Dycks That Were ForgeriesThe trial of art dealers at Genoa for

smuggling seven famous Van Dycksfrom the Cattaneo palace has resultedIn an acquittal It was proved thatsix of tho pictures had never left thepalace the smuggled works of art be-

Ing¬

forgeries This recalls the out¬

burst of Indignation in Italy someyears ago concerning a Raphael whichwas secretly conveyed to America fora well known millionaire That Itwas a genuine Raphael the most skill ¬

ful experts In the United States hadno doubt and It bore the great artistsunmistakable signature But much toItalys relief a closer examination oftho canvas proved It to be a cleverforgery which was afterward tracedto a studio In Rome whose Uold mas ¬

ters were turned out by the dozenLondon Chronicle

Unique Straw HatThe proprietor of a fashionable cafe

at Marleiibafl Is the possessor of astraw hat which he values at 1000The hat Is not a costly variety of panama but is rather n rough lookingstraw hat Yet It Is the pride of theproprietors life because It Is wovenof straws through which the crownedheads of Europe have at various timessucked cooling drinks dispensed In theowners establishment For ninnyyears this king worshiper had beencollecting straws from the royal lipsscorning more nobles or statesmenWhen the collection was largo enoughthe hat was manufactured

A Roundabout BitoIn San Francisco the campaign

against rats as spreaders of the plagueIs a subject of universal discussion

chll1drollWot they hunting up all rats forAw dont yer know nothing Itats

has the plague an If you see oneyoud better look out cause youll getIt too maybe

If you just see a rat do you get itAw dont you know nothing

Youve got the plague when youvebeets bit by a flea whats been bit by nrat whats boon bit by a saltorSunFrancisco Call

Columbus TombTho history of Columbus bones Is

about as checkered as that of his lifeHis remains after burial at VnlladolldSpain were removed to Seville In1530 they were taken with great pompto Santo Domingo and Interred In thecathedral In 1700 what were sup-posed to bouts ashes were again re ¬

moved to the Cathedral of Havana andburled there with imposing ceremonies

No false pretense has marked thecareer of Elys Cream Balm Being en¬

tirely harmless it is not responsible likethe catarrh snuffs and powders forminds shattered by cocaine The greatvirtue of Elys Cream Balm is that itspeedily and completely overcomesnasal catarrh and hay fever Back ofthis statement is the testimony othousands and a reputation of manyyears success All druggists sOc ormailed by Ely Bros 56 Warren StreetNew York

lLAST OF THE PASCAGOULAS

An Indian Lgend From the Shores ofthe Culf of Mexico

An Indian legend of the PascngoulasIs told by the fishermen and oystermen down on the shores of the gulfofMexicoA

reaches out Into the gulftear the mouth of the Pascagoulu riv-er The pine trees on It come almostto the waters edge and between liesa strip of white sand across a marsh-a border of light green swaying andrustling grasses and beyond a graycypress swamp the hanging moss ofthe trees swaying In the wind To thesouth the blue waters of the gulfstretch away with little wares lap ¬

ping on the chalk white clam shellsof the shore

There In the evening during theshort twilight one bears soft music asif It were the notes of a violin insist ¬

ent changing sweet It Is the song ofthe Pascagoulas

Long years before the PascagoulaIndians had lived upon this point Thewhite men the Spaniards came Innumbers and with them the hostilewarriors of other tribes to make warand to drive the Pascagoulas out of thecountry Coming from the Inland theenemy took away all chance of fightand hedged them In on the point ThePascagoulas fought for days andnights In the lark pine woods againstoutnumbering foes Then they sawthat all was useless that they couldnot overcome and starvation staredthem In the face

The Pascagoulas called a council ofthe tribe and talked long together Togive themselves up meant lives ofslavery or death anti to fight to thelast man was to leave the women andchildren to the mercy of the whitemen and their allies

The next morning the Paeeagoulasput on all their paint and trappingsand burned their wigwams The menwomen and children slowly deliber ¬

ately unlllncUJngly backed step bystep Into the water behind them singIng Not one faltered They died withtheir faces toward their enemiesbrnve and free and now In the even ¬

ing when the wind blows over themarshes the pines and grasses singthe song of the Pascagoulas NewYork Post

THE LAND OF WORSHIP

The East Believes Too Utterly to Careif Others Disbelieve

Prayer pervades the cast Fat ortacross the sands when one Is travel-ing In the desert one sees thin min ¬

arets rising toward the sky A desertcity Is there It signals Its presenceby this mute appeal to Allah Andwhere there are no minarets In thegreat wastes of the dunes In the eter ¬

nal silence the lifelessness that Is notbroken even by any lonely Wanderingbird thccamcls are stopped at the ap ¬

pointed hours the poor and often rag ¬

god robes are laid down and the brownpllgrhns prostrate themselves In pray-er

¬

And the rich man spreads his car ¬

pet find prays and the half nakednomad spreads nothing but he prays

tooThe east Is full of lust and full ofmoney getting and full of barteringcud full of violence but It Is full ofworshipat worship that disdains roncealment that reeks not of ridicule orcomment that believes too utterly tocare If others disbelieve There areIn the east many men who do not prayThey do not laugh nt the maq whodoes like the unprnylng ChristianThere Is nothing ludicrous In prayer InEgypt your Nubian sailor prays In thestern of your dahabiyeh and yourEgyptian boatman prays by the rudderof your boat and your black donkeyboy prays behind a red rock In thesand and your camel man prays whenyou are resting In the noontide watch ¬

the faroff quivering mirage lostlIngsome wayward dream

must you not pray too whenyou enter certain temples whore oncestrange gods were worshiped In whomno man now believes Robert UlcbensIn Century

Scared by FrogsIt is said to be owed to the frogs of

western Australia that that part of theempire is English and not FrenchAbout 1800 a party of prospectiveFrench colonists landed on the westcoast of Australia but on the firstmorning they were alarmed by theloud croaking of the frogs which theytook for demons and retired with allspeed to their ships Western Austra-lia

¬

might have preferred the frog tothe swan as her emblem just as Romemight have preferred Instead of theeagle the goose that saved the capital

A Professional OpinionThat young Pellet has altogether

too exalted an opinion of his profes ¬

sion When old Borax was out of town

tho Grldleys called Pellet Jane GridIcy asked him If ho thought he couldpull her father through I trustmadam he severely replied to be ableto parry the shafts of death

Parry the shafts of death Say

thats good Why Pellet couldnt pare ¬DealerfEverybodys friend Dr ThomasElectric Oil Cures toothache enrnchesore throat Heals cuts bruises scaldsStops any pain

WOMEN OF PARAGUAY

Patient and Good Natured Barefootedand White Robed

Paraguay Is rich In local color Thepicturesque character of the nativepopulation with their quaint Indianfeatures and habits of everyday lifeIs interesting to anybody fond of ob-

servIng¬

strange phases of human lifeBy nature these people are patient andgentle seldom complaining chatteringand laughing from sunrise to sunsetand taking small thought of what themorrow may have In store for them

It Is hard to Imagine how Lopezcould have drilled them into fightingmaterial of strength enough to keep Incheck the combined forces of Argentina Brazil and Uraguay for five longweary years and It speaks volumes forthe Indomitable energy of the man thathe was able to sustain his position forso protracted a time

Clothing Is very much of a superfluity In Paraguay says the BostonTranscript The attire of the womenis a cotton chemise with a long sheetlike shawl or manta passed over thehead and around the body In Moorishfashion The dress of the men Isequally simple consisting only of cot ¬

ton shirt and trousers Both sexes aregulltless of foot covering At times analmost uncanny feeling rises when agroup of these white robed dark hair ¬

ed maidens pass suddenly with thesilent tread of unshod feet

Of a morning In the market placesthe women folk flock to sell theirwares carrying on their heads the bas ¬

kets contaiulns the few cents worthof native produce they have been ableto gather together for disposal In thetowns The soft Guaranl language thecommon tongue of the Paraguayansadds further charm to the scene

30

Loans and Discounts 73596 63Cash in Safe 8744 81Cash in other Banks 4962 <Banking House and Lot 502 89Furniture and Fixtures 1557 12Current Expenses Last

Six Months 959 53

Total 90323 72

the

the

byper

the

it

Two cottage Murri4y Avenuewell

> 2Sample und

u SO acres InIs tit

TIm cunor

bottom hill Sultablowater your

cash balance Ineasy

C2 acres onf Sinking 3

necessaryacres cultivation pasture

acres In timberall

yeareasy

acres

dwelUUIt 3 1 130x46 1

Isinbalance

road andIs worn

It Is and fixa with a

Little MalapropBessie Green a tot to

unusual words In she Is aconstant source of amusement to herrelatives whom she frequentlycorresponds occasion whiteconfined to the hospital she receivedthis note from her

I am delighted to hearpast that

with affection AUNTIEA few days tho received a

brief replyDear Auntie I have been very but

tho Bays la delightfulthat I am convulsive

with Infection BESsIE

HisMoggs was returning to the club-

house when Wilson metdid you get

queried Wilson-I saw bettor said Moggs

My opponent got away every drivehe every brassle clean he ap-

proached to the perfectly andhe missed a putt

much you beaten1 I wasnt beaten I wontI

Pearsons WeeUjly

HisWeary WalkerWot youse

uv me TattersTatters WearyWalkerMe 1 thorn cor¬

porations because noPathfinder

I safely say no man everattempted to bribe gentlemen

Voice In the CrowdDont be down¬

hearted chap maychange London Telegraph

of of The

Two States BankStephcnsport Ky at Close of Business Juno

Resources

7501M

Llppincotts

Corporations

corporationscorporations

Statement Condition

LiabilitiesCapital Stock15OOO 00Surplus Fund 777 18Undivided Profits 31g5 09Amount Deposi-

tors 45

Total90323 72

We have passed fifth milestone in our existence During thatwe have grown from a small beginning a large and prosperous

business We have endeavored to keep abreast of times provid ¬

ing our depositors safeguard known to their protection andsecurity Our funds are guarded by a modern burglary and fire-

proof and insurance is carried to losses either burglaryor robbery We pay 4 cent juterest on time deposits which ismore than other bank in Breckenridge county pays

We believe in paying patrons all we can use of theirmoney The late disasterous failures demonstrated

is the oldest and largest bank that the safest We take thisopportunity to thank customers whose patronage has helped tomake this the largest and best statement in our five years of business

Respectfully

JNO S ADAIR Cashier

Real Estate DepartmentDo you want to buy a farm or business f If you do youinterests ¬

s

I

name and address If none of these places suit you write atI

tolling us what you want and where you want and lotus introduce you to the who very property youare looking for-

ej recommend the following properties as being productiveland fair in price

Do You to Sell your farm or business DIf youwant cash for your property send price and description onceand lot us show you bring buyer and seller together

enablingbuyersI Jno D Babbage

room onI locates Hants tor6 per month

Cl acres on Uardlnsburg4 I of Sinking road milesfrom Improvements dwuhing

good bUr burn ouk and beechtlmbur Thu oak timber good timberHooch nover boon worked bur bohauled either by water rail Llmustoueland both und fortobacco fruit Plenty good

ono thirdpayments

950 352 lardlnsburg andbulls of road milesonostorydWblacksmith shop all outhouses

130 under and 223white black oak beech

und sugar tree good size Plenty of goodwater tho round Onethird cash andgood terms on balance

< 60076 situated IK miles fromJoins Gabe Pierce Ridge land

In good shape goodhouse rooms goodcistern barn

neverfalling spring two pondsThis good tobacco wheat and corn land 20acres timber white sugar andbeech Plenty of good fruitGood tn StophonsportUK miles goodroad to Ilololi miles This tarm notout good land In toad Just thetarn for man small family

A Mrsof seven likes

use this

withOn one

auntthat the crisis la

and you are now convalescentYours

later aunt

HInurse she to

you now Yours

Part¬

himWell how on today

never golf

hitup hole

neverHow wore byBeaten

do tlnkTired

Wotshoos call

dey aint gotsoles

Hope Stillcan that

me

old your luck

j

the 1008

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71351

time to

lor every¬

safe cover

anyour for

bank have thatit not is

our

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man has the

Wantat

how we

and

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oak

feet

oak treecleared

ten

CQfU 162 acres fl miles from OlovorportmidonlHo8rportprovomunts 6room dwelling barn 3x86 footorchardSOO1RurCSInJrnssbnlanceGoodlimestoneandwheatOUothlrdcasb

FOR SALRA farm containing 25oaores andavoL5withabarnsonotrees also pears quluces and apricots mostnlcovinyardsoveralgroveSoftowlroEkronononlongI druggistandJustthostepIntobusinessAnIs the reason for selling for further partic ¬

ulars address JNO D DABDAGK Oloyetport Ky