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ADMIRAL The Captain, the Dad, the legend.
The Admiral is the best test pilot of any possible contraption the world has ever known or will know. Whenever he’s at the helm he makes it his mission to throw everything into complete chaos. Some people, (namely his entire crew and only son, Duke) call it crazy/unforgivable, but Admiral just calls it fun. Admiral never knows where his next adventure will take him, he also doesn’t know where the next elevator will take him, he’s not worried about it, because he’s ready to face death any second… or with his back turned, he’s good either way. Admiral is proud of his son, Duke. But good luck hearing that from him. The Admiral believes in the “it takes a village” approach to child-rearing, and has designed the whole crew as a surrogate family for Duke. The Admiral shows up at random times to give the Rapscallions a task, tell a story or to find his back razor. He may be wise, he may be crazy, but he’s definitely… wait, what was he just saying? Oh, and he’s also always looking out for the day of his untimely, and probably gloriously painful death. It will be the stuff of legends. The Admiral loves adventure, wrestling, staring contests, telling stories, tests of strength, driving anything, going fast, doing loops, drifting, barrel rolls, and hot sauce! He dislikes anything slow and will never admit to pain.
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1.ADMIRAL PROUD, THEN OFFICIAL WITH A SIDE OF BEING DISMISSIVE:
Am I dead? Yes. Dead handsome. Cryogenic Muscle Freezing Therapy. Keeps me youthful and MAD sexy. But always wait an
hour before you pee to avoid… the “slushee effect.”
2. ADMIRAL(MOVING ON) Now hear this: our last mission was both dangerous and quite
repulsive - which incidentally is the title of my autobiography - but bottom line, we’re Rapscallions and we got through it
together. Now I know you were all looking forward to game night But unfortunately it’s been cancelled because we already have
something on the schedule, which is… (OBLIVIOUS) game night. So too bad. Whiners will be shot out the airlock.
3. ADMIRAL ENTHUSIASTIC/THEN CASUAL:If and when you are eliminated you must sit on the bench of shame...FOREVER!!! (BEAT) Ha-ha! Not
forever, for like half an hour.
4. ADMIRAL PRIDEFUL/THEN A CASUAL DIG: Well done Kale and Narbear for bringing back a real penguin, far exceeding my wildest dreams, as opposed to all other teams who did not top-slash-meet-slash-even-approach-the distant-borders-of-my-dreams.
5.ADMIRAL
SINCERE: Son, you proved that family is more important than
individual glory. I’m proud of you, son. (Thanks, Admiral.)You can call me Dad. (Thanks, Dad. I love you Dad.)Okay, go back to calling me Admiral. It sounds cooler.