The Courage to Heal A Guided Journal of Healing from ... … · The Courage to Heal from Abuse: 60 Days to a New You! Kelly Ann Evers Founder of His Love Heals, Domestic Violence

The Courage to Heal

A Guided Journal of Healing from

Emotional Abuse and Physical Abuse

60 Day’s to the NEW You!

Finding the Real You!

By Kelly Ann Evers

The Courage to Heal from Abuse: 60 Days to a New You!

Kelly Ann Evers Founder of His Love Heals, Domestic Violence Help www.domestic-violence-help.org Page 2

Have you ever wanted to know who the ―real‖ you is? Have you felt like you had to

wear a mask or veil that has hidden the real you? Have you wondered what it would be

like to find out who that is behind the smiles and cheery exterior?

Have you ever questioned who you are and why do you do the things you do, when you

really don’t think you like doing them?

Are you in a place where you are ready for God to unveil the real you? If so, this journal

is for you. This journal is about God revealing the true and authentic you and to discover

who He created you to be.

Beloved, this journal is more then just learning about the style of eggs you like. This is

about taking back your life. Over the years you may have had people who told you who

Introduction



you are and what you like, but now this is a season of discovering the real you. It’s a

season about learning to be you.

Beloved, no doubt you have been hurt deeply, wounds only God knows about, but even

more there has been a loss: a loss of self-identity, a loss of self-love, a loss of self-being.

This self-guided journal is not about what was done to you, but it is about redeeming the

losses and restoring the future so that you can live, love, and laugh as the real you, the

beautiful you, who you were created to be.

For victims of abuse, becoming healed involves more than leaving the abuser. Becoming

healed means taking back areas of your life that were stolen from you.

When a woman lives with an abuser, his intent is to control her, which means taking

away her self-worth, her dignity, her own wants and needs, and forcing her to set aside

everything that make her an individual.

She learns to like what he likes, do what he tells her to do, think as he thinks. She

accepts that life, and lives the way he says it must be lived – with him always in charge.

To break free from years of this type of oppression, victims have to learn who they are

and what they like. For the most part, victims really don’t know who they are.

They have never been allowed to make choices for themselves; they have never been

allowed to have their own opinions.



For years, they have been told what to think. Therefore, learning who you are is a

process, a beautiful voyage into self-discovery.

You are on the journey to becoming healed and whole, and it is one of the most beautiful

journeys you will ever experience.

Today, this week, this month, and this year you have the opportunity to learn about

yourself, and you will decide on your own what you like and what you don’t like.

Your self-discovery will include making decisions about the clothes you wear, the

makeup you use, the TV programs you watch, if you like scrambled or over-easy eggs,

and so much more that you have not been allowed to do.

I want to encourage you to embrace this time with great joy, and to wake up each day

excited to learn more and more about yourself.

Beloved, you are important! Caring for yourself – your health and your overall well-

being – is vital to becoming healed and whole.

As victims of abuse, we quickly learned to allow our own needs to take a back seat.

We care for others very well, but when it comes to our own wants and desires we set it

aside for another day–unfortunately, a day that never comes.

There is always someone or something that takes precedence over us. So, today I give

you permission to recognize how valuable your life is, and to care for yourself.



Not only do I give you permission to care for yourself, I strongly encourage you to do

something special for yourself each day.

Usually, victims of abuse don’t even know what they like. Too often, they have been

forced to like what the abuser likes. Many times they will cater to so many other people

that they haven’t even had a chance to think about what matters to them.

But that’s all in the past. Today is your day to take care of you! Are you ready? Let’s

pray that the Lord will be at your side as you journey through this beautiful season of

self-discovery.

Lord Jesus, Your Word says that You want me healed and whole. Lord, you say that

the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy but You came so I may have an abundant life.

Lord, you say that You want me caring for my body, the temple, and Lord, today I desire

to do so. Lord, I don’t know how to, so I ask You to help me learn about myself, help me

know what I like and don’t like, and as I am learning about who I am, help me embrace

the person You always meant me to be, the one that You created. Teach me to love

myself, and teach me to learn to love doing something special for myself daily. In Jesus’

name I pray. Amen.



Let the Journey Begin….

Below are some suggestions to help get you started on your journey of self-

discovery. I believe that throughout the years you have had thoughts and dreams about

doing certain things, but because of your circumstances you have never been able to

fulfill them.

Today is your day! And I am excited for you!

As you read through the sample list below, think about the things you have wanted to

experience, and begin to write a list of your own. I look forward to hearing from each of

you as you discover who you are and what you like. Remember, it is your time to have

fun!

Let’s Get Started



Sample list of things to experience:

1. Make a variety of different kinds of eggs (scrambled, poached, omelet, etc.) and

taste them all. Decide which type you like best.

2. Start going to different restaurants and discover what types of food you enjoy.

3. Find new recipes that you would like to try.

4. Mix it up, have dinner at breakfast time, breakfast at dinner time, dessert for

dinner.

5. Shop at a different grocery store or mall.

6. Change your brand of toothpaste.

7. Drive a different way to work.

8. Move the furniture around in one of your rooms.

9. Add a new splash of color to one of your rooms.

10. Buy yourself some flowers and display them where you will see them often.

11. Tell yourself throughout the day, ―I am worth it!‖

12. Play hooky from work and go have fun.

13. Write down 10 things you are good at.

14. Start a new hobby.

15. Rekindle an old hobby.

16. Get involved in church events, moms clubs, book clubs etc.

17. Start a ―girls’ night out‖ once a week.

18. Throw yourself a birthday party – even if it is not your birthday.

19. Smile at people more.



20. Bless someone with something of yours.

21. Invite some friends over for food, fun, and lots of laughter.

22. Have your teeth whitened.

23. Buy a new outfit.

24. Take the entire day off and relax. Stay in your pajamas all day if you want.

25. Go on a bike ride.

26. Go for a swim – and get your hair wet!

27. Wash the car with the kids and let them soak you.

28. Have a family game night.

29. Eat Oreos in bed. Dip those Oreos in peanut butter or ice cream!

30. Go to bed one hour earlier or one hour later.

31. Spend the night at a hotel.

32. Put money aside each pay check and plan something special for yourself.

33. Paint your fingernails.

34. Paint your toe nails.

35. Learn to take care of your skin and give yourself facials often.

36. Color your hair and get a new hairstyle.

37. Get a makeover at the mall.

38. Go have a spa treatment.

39. Get a massage.

40. Soak in a bubble bath with candles and music.

41. Try a new shade of lipstick.

42. Treat yourself to a new pair of earrings or a bracelet.



43. Treat yourself to coffee at a coffee house.

44. Go to the park and read a book or magazine.

45. Go to the beach.

46. Go to the movies.

47. Rent a funny movie.

48. Sing your favorite song in the car loud.

49. Dance to some music.

50. Take a nap.

51. Eat breakfast in the dining room on china.

52. Prepare a nice dinner for yourself and include cloth napkins and lit candles.

53. Send yourself an encouraging note on www.crosswalk.com.

54. Pray.

55. Exercise.

56. Play with or pet your animal.

57. Sit for 15 minutes in the sun. You’re getting some of that Vitamin D your body

needs.

58. Take a walk. Notice the trees, flowers, bugs, birds, and squirrels.

59. Write a ―to do‖ list for the week.

60. Write a goal list for the month.

61. Write down all the things you have wanted to do over the years.

62. Volunteer at a church, your children’s school, at the senior center, etc.

63. Take a class at the local college.

64. Take up dancing—it could be swing, tap. ball room, ballet, or country western.

http://www.crosswalk.com/



65. Journal your thoughts or prayers.

66. Write poetry.

67. Journal the positive changes you are making.

68. Journal the hopes and dreams you have.



Now it is your turn to dream. What have you wanted to do? Do you have a list of

dreams, wants and hopes that have been laying stagnant? Is there something not on this

list that you would like to do? List them.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Your Turn to Dream



This journey you are about to embark on is one that I myself have had to do. This

guided journal is the outcome of my own personal journey that I had to learn myself. I

didn’t find a book on it or have a journal that would help me.

This came about because I realized I did not know who I was. Weekly I would hear the

words come out of me, ―Who am I?‖ I wanted so desperately to know who I was.

I realized I had no idea what I liked or who I wanted to be – I was never given a choice.

After twenty years of abuse I felt like I was my husband’s puppet.

I had no choices in life. It was all about him and what he wanted –even down to my

breakfast choices.

About the Author



At restaurants he made the choices for me. My home was freakishly spotless because he

liked it spotless.

My clothing was chosen by him, my menus were chosen by him, my religion was chosen

by him, even my hair style was chosen by him.

There was not one area in my life that he did not choose for me. When I finally broke

free from his control I had no idea who I was or what I liked.

This guided journal came from years of daily spending in God’s presence asking Him for

help to show me who I really am.

Every day I would wake up saying, ―Okay new me, what are you going to discover about

yourself today?‖ I worked diligently trying out things about myself. It of course wasn’t

easy, because most of the decisions in my life turned out to be my ex-husbands likes not

mine.

So as the months and years went by I had to ask myself, ―Why do you like this – is this

someone else’s likes or mine?‖

I remember the first year of self-discovery. It was quite comical might I add. I started

off with not cleaning my home.



My daughter and I would leave stuff lying around the house, we kicked off our shoes at

the entry from the garage tripping over them as we entered, dishes piled in the sink, and

beds unmade.

Oh it was glorious. But then it became disgusting.

My daughter commented, ―Mom do you plan on cleaning anytime soon?‖

You know it has to be pretty bad when a young teen can’t deal with the pigsty!

I assured her we will live through this season, but for now I need to be messy. Although

I broke down and cleaned and organized, it wasn’t to the extreme I had to do while under

the rulership of my ex-husband.

Next I tried a variety of eggs, new recipes, went different stores, a variety of different

restaurants, and many different types of foods. I treated myself to spas. I started making

friends. I started going out to the movies with friends and by myself.

I spent a day in my pajamas. I took days off to hang out with my daughter. I had days of

sitting around doing nothing. This became fun.

Every day I began to notice that I really like making choices. Sometimes it took me

month’s even years to keep trying things until I figured out if it ―was me.‖ But that was

what was so fun about it.



There were many things that I struggled in making changes some major and some one

would think was ridiculous. One hard thing to break was choosing ―French Toast‖ in a

restaurant. My husband would not allow me to order it – ever. It took years to break that

cycle.

Even writing it sounds odd but I knew that the day I could order French Toast was

another day I would experience freedom.

That day was a beautiful day. It was one that was a personal celebration, because I knew

no one would understand why ordering French Toast could be so difficult. But it was for

me.

But that is in my past and I can order all the French toast I want! There were many other

difficulties like the French Toast but all have ended in a celebration of discovering who I

am.

Although it is 11 years after I have left my husband, I am still discovering things about

myself. As a matter of fact, this month I have took up prophetic art oil painting.

Not only do I love it but God has given me a gift in it. It is a gift I never new I had until a

month ago. I know there is a wealth of things that I still am learning about myself, but

the best part of it is I can say, ―I am worth the investment!‖



Did you know it is okay to invest in yourself? Did you know you are worth the time and

energy to love yourself?

Investing in yourself is not just for you, but it is a gift for those who are around you like

your children, family, co-workers and acquaintances. Just as those listed are worth the

investment, I want you to know you are worth the investment too!

I want to encourage you this is not some egotistical, egocentric way of life. This is not

the New Age thinking or Universal thinking of ―me, me, me.‖ This is a biblical principle

of loving yourself so you can love others.

If we cannot love our self, we cannot truly love others. It begins with receiving God’s

love.

As His love saturates your heart overflowing with His goodness and His endless,

unmatched, unconditional love, you will begin to see your own value through His eyes.

As you begin to see yourself as He sees you, you will begin to love yourself as He loves

you. This treasured journey begins with you and Him.

As you allow ―The Courage to Heal‖ change the way you think about your worth and

significance on this earth, it will have a ripple effect of loving yourself, loving God and

loving others.



1. Find a place where you can get quiet.

2. Open this time in prayer. Ask the Lord to lead you through this, ask Him to show you

who you were created to be. Ask Him to guide this time.

3. Be expectant of Him speaking to you, revealing to you your likes and dislikes, your

hopes and dreams. Be expectant of Him unveiling the true you!

4. Write, write, write. Journaling is the most productive way of learning about yourself.

As days and weeks pass by you will encounter a vast amount of different experiences,

emotions, excitements and challenges. The more you write the more you will learn more

about yourself. These are moments you will want to refer back to many times. And

these are moments you will treasure for the rest of your life!

How to Use This Journal



Remember this journal is for you, it is to discover who you are created to be. Enjoy each

day. Don’t allow skipped days or days of dislikes discourage you. Day’s of dislikes are

good and healthy. Those days allows you to know you have opinions about who you are,

what you like and what is not good to you.

Have fun!

And P.S: I am really proud of you for making this decision!



Psalm 139

O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know

when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart

the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know

where I am.

You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. You both precede and

follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too

wonderful for me, too great for me to know! I can never escape from your spirit! I can

never get away from your presence!

If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are

there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there

your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness

to hide me and the light around me to become night -- but even in darkness I cannot

hide from you.

To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's

womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is

marvelous -- and how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in

the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was

recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your

thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they out

number the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me!

O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!

Get out of my life, you murderers! They blaspheme you; your enemies take your

name in vain. O LORD, shouldn't I hate those who hate you? Shouldn't I despise

those who resist you?

Yes, I hate them with complete hatred, for your enemies are my enemies. Search me,

O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me

that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.



Congratulations, You’re About to Begin Your New Journey!

Today is the most exciting day of your life! You have chosen to take this journey to

discover who God has created you to be. And the best part about it is over the next 60

days you are going to find out who you are, what you like, and don’t like. You will

discover that you can make decisions for yourself. You will fall in love with the journey

of unveiling you. And most of all, you will discover that hidden behind that veil is an

amazing person – you!



Day 1

Lord I wait expecting with a new hope of discovering who I am and who you created me

to be. Let this journey be filled with joy and excitement and anticipation of knowing

more and more about myself daily.

As you read through the sample list, what are a few things that excited you the most?

Why?

What are some small steps you can take to accomplish these things?

How does it feel to begin this journey of self-discovery?

Dear Lord, bless this day, fill it with joy as I discover something new about myself.



Day 2

What is something you want to discover about yourself today? Write about it.

Describe how this discovery will help you learn more about yourself?

What steps will you have to take to do this?

After you have completed today’s discovery, describe how it felt. Would you do it

again?




Day 3

Every time you try something new, whether it is big or small, it is an enormous

accomplishment. What is something new that you want to discover about yourself?

Today, look over the sample list and do something you think would be fun.

After you have done it, describe how it felt to conquer this accomplishment.

How do you think trying something new can impact your life?




Day 4

Dear Lord Jesus, please help me to discover who you created me to be. Lord as I move

out in this unveiling of the real me, show me the real me. Show me about myself that I

have not known. Help me learn about my likes and dislikes, help me to see the unique

treasure that you created me to be.

What has He impressed upon you?

What did you learn about yourself that you didn’t know before?

How will you be different because of this information?




Day 5

What is something special that you can do for yourself today? Why is it special?

After you have completed it, describe how did it felt to treat yourself special?

What does caring for yourself mean to you?

What things can you do that would make you feel cared for?




Day 6

If you were to ask God to speak to you about how special you are, what would He say?

How does that differ from your thinking?

What can you do today to see yourself how God sees you? How about reading and

meditating on Psalm 139 or John 3:16? What else can you do?




Day 7

Congratulations you have completed a full week since you have been on this journey!

What have you discovered about yourself?

What has made the most impact on you? Write about the discoveries and impact.

In this time of discovering yourself, have you experienced anything that surprised you?

Write about what happened.

Why did it surprise you?




Day 8

Lord I sometimes feel afraid to discovering who I am. What if I don’t like myself? What

if I discover that I am still the same me? Lord help me to love myself as You love me.

Help me to see who I am to you and who You know me to be. Lord speak to me about

Your love for me.

What did you feel He impressed upon you?

How has He showed you His love for you?

What has He revealed about who He knows you to be?




Day 9

Look back over the sample list. What were some of the things on the list that you wanted

to do?

What emotions do you feel when you are thinking about caring for yourself?

Anxious? Fearful? Guilty? Excited? Proud? Empowered? Other_________?

Write about what you are feeling and thinking.




Day 10

Something’s can’t be done spontaneously, so let’s plan ahead this week. Look over the

list of things that you’ve wanted to do and plan to put them into action this week.

What are the things you’ve wanted to do?

When can you do it this week?

How can you plan ahead for them?




Day 11

As we near two weeks of learning about yourself what did you like? What did you not

like?

How has this journey changed the way you thought about yourself? Are you enjoying it?

What would you like to know more about yourself?

Journal about some of the positive changes you would like to see in yourself. How can it

go from a thought, to on paper, to a reality?




Day 12

Every day you do something for yourself you are taking back a part of your life that was

stolen from you. Today, find one thing in the sample list or your list and do it for

yourself today.

Write about how it felt to take back a part of your life and do something good for you.

What did you learn?




Day 13

Is there something you have wanted to do but you haven’t? What is it? Why haven’t you

done it? Are you fearful? Do you feel you can’t because of the lies your

husband/significant other said? Spend time in prayer asking God to reveal to you the

truth about why you can’t do something/it. Write what He reveals to you.

What 3 steps can you do today so that you can do it?

Today set a goal for when you would like to do it. Do you need to save money? Will it

require help? Write out the difficulties doing it and then write out the steps you can

begin doing to make it happen.




Day 14

It has been now two weeks that you have been discovering things you like and dislike.

Write about how this journey has been for you.

What would you like to learn more about yourself?

What are a few small things can you do to learn more about your likes and dislikes?




Day 15

What is one thing that is important for you to learn about yourself? Why?

Are you surprised by what you’ve written? Why? What does this reveal about your likes

and dislikes now? How has it changed from before?

As you are on this self-discovery you may discover that something you are learning about

yourself is surprising. What has surprised you about this journey so far?




Day 16

Lord I can’t imagine that you think lovely thoughts about me all the time, but Psalm

139:1 says, “How precious your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I

can’t even count them; they out number the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the

morning, you are still with me!” Lord I am overwhelmed with this thought. Lord help

me to see the value in me as You value me. Speak to me about these thoughts.

What did He impress upon you?

How will that change your thinking about yourself?

How will you be different because of knowing He has precious thoughts about you?




Day 17

Every day you try something new you are coming to know who God created you to be.

This may feel like you are discovering who you are for the first time. How does that

make you feel?

How does that make you feel to know God has created you to be a unique individual who

has your own likes and dislikes?

Write a prayer to the Lord asking Him to continually show you who He has created you

to be. Ask Him to bring you to new places, introduce you to new people who will show

you new things, taste new things, see new things, and experience new things.




Day 18

Today is a new day of discovery! Look over the lists and see what you can do for

yourself, then make plans today to do it. Remember it doesn’t need to be big, you can

light candles around the house or buy yourself a bouquet of flowers… it just has to be

something that will help you start treating yourself with love and respect. What will you

do today?

Describe how treating yourself with love and respect will help you? HINT: What

happens when you start treating yourself with kindness? Other will start treating you

with love and respect. What else will happen when you start treating yourself as

worthwhile?

Journal about the positive changes you would like to see happen as a result of your new

discovery.




Day 19

Think about the things you have done and the things you want to do; name 3 things that

you liked doing and name three 3 you did not like doing. Write about the experiences.

Things you liked:

1.

2.

3.

Things you disliked:

1.

2.

3.




Day 20

What is something you want to discover about yourself today? What is something you

have wanted to do?

Every day you do a little more for yourself you are empowering yourself to think on your

own. Whether it’s big or small you are taking back a part of your life that you lost. How

does that feel?

What steps will you have to take to do this today?

After you have completed today’s discovery, describe how it felt. How did it make you

feel? Would you do it again?




Day 21

We are now three weeks into discovering who you are and what you like. How does it

feel to you?


What surprises have you discovered about your likes and dislikes?




Day 22

Every time you try something new, whether it is big or small, it is a huge achievement.

Look over the lists and choose something to do today.

Circle as many words below how it felt to try something new today.

Empowering

Conquering

Successful

Victorious

Proud

Hopeful

Triumphant

Intense

Scary

Terrifying

Hopeless

Other__________

How do you see yourself before you experimented with trying something out and how

did you feel about yourself afterwards?

Write a letter to yourself about how proud you are for taking care of you.




Day 23

Lord, I pray for you to grant me my hearts desires and fulfill all my plans as I journey

through this unveiling of the real me. Lord let me shout with joy when I find victory in

this. (Psalm 20:5). Lord, revive my spirit and give me hope to see who you have created

me to be. Lord help me to know my hearts desires, I have spent so many years fulfilling

everyone else’s desires, help me know what I want and desire.

What did He impress upon you?

How will this change your thinking about yourself?

How will you be different because of knowing He wants to fulfill all your hearts desires?




Day 24

What is something special that you can do for yourself today?

Why is it special?







Day 25

What have you dreamt about doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

What can you do to put that dream into action? Is there someone who can help you

accomplish it?

What are 3 small steps that you can take today to make that dream a reality?




Day 26

Yesterday we talked about something you dreamt about doing? Did you do any steps that

can make that dream a reality? If yes, what did you do and how did it feel to do it?

If not, what can you do today to make that dream happen?

Write a prayer asking God to give you the courage to heal. Ask Him to show you new

ways of treating yourself with love and respect.




Day 27

Lord your word says to delight in You and You will give me the desires of my heart

(Psalm 37:4). Lord, I don’t know if I even know what I desire to do. Help me to

discover the desires of my heart. Lord show me today something’s I love to do, help me

do them for myself today.

Look over the sample list, what looks exciting to you.

What has the Lord impressed upon you about the desires of your heart?

How will doing what you love help you discover more about the desires of your heart?




Day 28

Congratulations you have completed 4 full weeks since you have been on this journey!


What has made the most impact on you?

Write about the victory.

In this time of discovering yourself have you experienced anything that surprised you?

Write about what happened. Why did it surprise you?




Day 29

Something’s need a little planning, so let’s plan ahead this week. Look over the list of

things that you’ve wanted to do and plan to put them into action this week.

What are the things you’ve wanted to do?

Imagine yourself doing the things you’ve wanted to do. See yourself in your mind’s eye.

How do you look? Happy? Laughing? Dancing for joy? Write a list of all the emotions

and feelings you’ll experience when you’ve completed it.

When can you do it this week? How can you plan ahead for them?




Day 30

Wow day 30! What a journey it’s been. I’m sure you’ve had many ups and downs, tears

of sadness and tears of joy. What has made the biggest impact on you?

Now that it’s the half-way point, what will be the biggest learning experience you want to

take from this journey?

As you are on this self-discovery you may discover that something you are learning about

yourself is surprising. What has surprised you about this journey so far?




Day 31

Sometimes we think doing something small may be insignificant, but it’s not. As we

learn to care for us with small things, it gives us the courage to do big things. What are

some of the big things you would like to do?

What will you have to do in order for those to come to fruition?

What changes would you like to see happen in your life? What are some of the fears and

habits that you would like to overcome?

What are you willing to do to achieve that dream?




Day 32

As we near 5 weeks of learning about yourself, what did you like?

What did you not like?

How has this journey changed the way you thought about yourself?

Are you enjoying it? What would you like to know more about yourself?




Day 33

You may discover, as I did, that this is harder to do then you thought it would be (at

times). I cried a lot. Emotionally I felt like a wreck at times. Are you experiencing

this? What’s been happening?

In most cases, we are grieving over the loss of our life. We didn’t have the choice to

make decisions for our self, therefore we begin to grieve over that loss. Are you

experiencing this? Have you felt you’ve lost a lot of your life? How does that make you

feel?

After you’ve finished grieving, what will you do to take back your life? Write in the

below section: by telling yourself it’s okay to grieve and when you are done with

grieving, promise to yourself that you will take back all the areas that were stolen from

you.




Day 34

Dear Lord, I long to be healed and whole and I know the enemy has tried to steal, kill

and destroy me but you have promised me that You came so that I may have an abundant

overflowing life (John 10:10). Lord, today let me experience that overflowing abundant

life you have promised me. What can I do Lord, for me to see it happen today?

What has the Lord impressed upon you?

When we go through rough times, it’s sometimes hard to believe God has something

good for us. We think this is how God treats us too. Are you experiencing those

thoughts? Those are the lies of the enemy, he wants you to believe God is hurting you

and not helping you, but that is not true. God has good plans for you! Ask the Lord to

show you His good plans. Ask Him to show you these promises in tangible ways.

Write out your prayer.

What has He impressed upon you?




Day 35

Once you discover God has a good plan for you, entering on this self-discovery becomes

even more delightful. Find one thing in the sample list or your list and do it for yourself

today. What are you going to do today?

Describe how you think it will feel.

After you did it, describe how it felt doing it.

What did you learn about yourself?




Day 36

Every day you try something new you are coming to know who God created you to be.

This may feel strange. How does that make you feel?



Read Psalm 139 (on page 19 in this eBook). What does that mean to you? How does that

change your perspective of how God sees you and thinks about you?




Day 37

Today is a new day of discovery! Look over the sample lists and see what you can do for

yourself. Make plans to do it today. Knowing that doing little things and making small

changes in things we’ve done habitually (or because we had to), how will it help you

become a stronger person? Describe how this will help you for your future.

After you did the thing you wanted to do from the sample list, how did it feel knowing

you are becoming a stronger person?

When you think of a strong person, do you see yourself as strong? Write about it, then

write a note talking about how your life will be as a stronger person.




Day 38

Over the last month you have had many opportunities to try new things, whether it is big

or small, you have done something special just for you.

Describe how it felt to be good to you.

What does this mean to you when you care for yourself?





Day 39

What are some things you are thinking about doing in the near future? Is there things you

will have to do to prepare for it? What can you begin doing now so that you can be

successful?

Is there was someone who you can tell about the changes that are going on in your life,

what would you tell them?

Write a letter to the Lord how thankful you are that He created you and for this new

journey.




Day 40

WOW, it has now been 40 days of having the courage to heal from abuse. I imagine you

have had joys and defeat, laughter and sadness. Write about these experiences.

What has been the best part of this journey?

What has been the hardest part?

How can you bring more laughter and joy into each and every day?




Day 41

Today as you ask God to speak to you about how special you are, what is He saying?


What can you do today to see yourself how God sees you?






Day 42

What is something special that you can do for yourself today?

Why is it special?







Day 43

Congratulations on this victorious journey you have been on! What have you discovered

about yourself?

What has made the most impact on you? Write about the victory


Write about what happened.

Why did it surprise you?

What has it been like being on this journey?




Day 44

This journey is about self-respect. It is learning to enjoy doing things for yourself. Being

good to yourself is respecting yourself. How does it feel like to treat yourself with

respect?

Write yourself a letter for how proud you are for taking care of yourself.

Look back over the sample list. What were some of the things on the list that you wanted

to do? Pick one of those today and do it for you. Share your experience.




Day 45

How has caring for yourself changed the way you think about you?

How has it felt being good to yourself?

What are other things you can do to be good to yourself?

Write a promise to yourself, promising that you will continue to do good things for

yourself.




Day 46

Lord help me learn to embrace who you created me to be. Help me learn to love me for

who I am today and this week as I journey to discovering who you created me to be.

Lord show me some things that I really love to do. Help me to overcome the temptation

to think I am not worthy of this, but help me realize because you think I am worthy and

worthwhile that I can do this.

Is there something you have wanted to do but you haven’t? What is it? Why haven’t you

done it?

What 3 steps can you do today so that you can do it?

Today set a goal for when you would like to do it. Do you need to save money? Will it

require help? Write out the difficulties doing it and then write out the steps you can

begin doing to make it happen.




Day 47

What are 3 things that you would like to do that are not on the sample list.

1.

2.

3.

Is one of these something that you can do today?

How has it felt thinking about the things you like to do?

What can you do to keep caring for yourself long after you have completed this journal?




Day 48

Look back over the last couple of months of learning about yourself. What are some

things you liked about yourself?



Are you enjoying it?

What would you like to know more about yourself?




Day 49

It has been now seven weeks that you have been discovering things you like and dislike;

write about how this journey has been for you. What would you like to learn more about

yourself.

Did you know God gives us dreams and visions about our future? See Joel 2:28. He

loves giving us these! Go to http://www.domestic-violence-help.org/how-we-began.html

to see the rest of this vision, but here is a part that I want you to read:

I asked the Lord to show me how my life would bring Him glory.

He brought me a vision of a dark, dreary graveyard. I saw myself

walking hunched over, weighted down with pain, sorrow, torment,

and helplessness. Suddenly, all that laid heavy on me was falling

off as I walked out of the graveyard and toward a beautiful garden.

Then Jesus showed me a vision of myself speaking to others of the

healing miracles He had given me. In this vision I looked radiant

as I preached what had transformed my life--His message of love,

hope, joy and peace.

Ask God for a vision like I had. Ask Him about your new life. Write it down




Day 50

When you look back over the last 50 days together. What was the most memorable

experience you have had? Write about it.

Has what you have written surprised you during these last 50 days?

What has made the most impact on you? Why?

Yesterday we talked about God giving you visions and dreams. What was that like? Do

you want God to give you more dreams and visions? Just ask. He wants you to

experience His love, power and grace – and all His gifts! Once you see/experience it,

write down what you see and experience.




Day 51

I work with women daily who take one small step in finding freedom from abuse (just as

you have been doing over these last 51 days), and each one has experienced a greater

sense of accomplishment and inner joy. Have you experienced that? Write about what

you’ve experienced.

With just 9 days left on this journey, what are some other things you want to do to take

back your life? What things are you willing to commit to?

How will you accomplish those things above? What steps will you need to do in order to

do it?




Day 52

Every day you try something new you are learning about who God created you to be.

This may feel strange and challenging but God has a good life for you and a wonderful

future. How does knowing that make you feel?



What are some things that you found out you liked during this journey? What have you

been doing for years that you never really liked?

What are you going to do to continue learn about being an individual with your own likes

and dislikes?




Day 53

Today is a day to celebrate you! Look over the lists and see what you can do for

yourself. What things would you like to do today?

Describe how this discovery will help you learn more about yourself?


Write a letter to God thanking Him for creating you to be a unique individual who loves

finding out who He’s created you to be.




Day 54

If you were to ask God to speak to you about how special you are, what would He say?


What can you do today to see yourself how God sees you?

Write a letter to the Lord how thankful you are that He created you.




Day 55

Lord I have found that something’s I find I don’t feel I can do it, but You promise me that

I can do all things through Christ who strengths me ( Philippians 4:13). Lord I lay

before you the things that I think are too hard for me and I ask you to help me through

Your strength to be able to do it.

What are some things you have had a hard time doing?

Ask the Lord how His strength will help you through this. What did He say?

What are some things you are thinking about doing in the near future? Is there things you

will have to do to prepare for it? What can you begin doing now so that you can be

successful?

Is there someone who you can tell about the changes that are going on in your life? What

would you tell them?




Day 56

As you have been taking back the areas of life that were stolen from you, what have you

discovered?

Were there things that puzzled you?

What have you enjoyed?

What were things you did not enjoy?

What is something special that you can do for yourself today? Why is it special? After

you have completed it, describe how did it felt to treat yourself special?

Dear Lord, bless this day, fill it with joy as I discover something new about myself



Day 57

When we’ve been abused for such a long time, we believe the abuser about no one liking

us, and many times don’t even believe God likes us. But He doesn’t just like us – He

loves us unconditionally. What can you do today to see yourself how God sees you and

loves you?

What have you dreamt about doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

What can you do to put that dream into action? Is there someone who can help you

accomplish it?

What are 3 small steps that you can take today to make that dream a reality?




Day 58

What is the most valuable thing you have learned on this journey?

How has it impacted your life?

What things do you want to keep doing for your self long after you have finished this

journal?

What can you do to make sure you do them in the future?




Day 59

As we near the end of our 60 days together of self-discovery and learning about yourself

what did you like?



Are you enjoying it? What would you like to know more about yourself?




Day 60

Congratulations you have completed 60 days since you have been on this journey! What

have you discovered about yourself?

What has made the most impact on you? Write about the victory


Write about what happened. Why did it surprise you?




Wow what an awesome journey we have been on together. I know that over these 60

days you have found out many things about yourself that you did not know before. This

has been a journey where you have discovered many likes and dislikes and how to make

decisions for yourself.

This is huge! I want you to know how proud I am of you, so very proud of you. What I

also know this is only the beginning of unveiling the real and authentic you. I know that

you have so much more to discover. I pray that as weeks and months pass you will be the

best you, you know how to be.

Did you know that I have been in constant prayer for you? Did you know that this

journal is not just a quick book I’ve written?

This guided journal is a part of my life that I wanted to share with you. It is a piece of

me that I wanted to give you. You, your life, and your future is very important to me.

I have felt from the first day of writing this journal that you and I are partners in this and I

want only the best for you. So to me, we have been on a precious journey together.



I feel like I have been very much apart of your life as you spent the last 60 days together.

I feel as I have been praying for you that we have entered into this journey together.

You are important to me, your journey through this is significant, and you discovering

who you are, is one of the greatest highlights of my life.

I would love to hear about your 60 day journey. I would love to celebrate with you what

you have discovered. Would you please snail mail me or share your joyous discoveries

and journey on the address/link below?

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Your treasured friend,

Kelly Ann Evers

www.domestic-violence-help.org/the-courage-to-heal-from-abuse.html

Kelly Ann Evers

611 S. Palm Canyon #7-255

Palm Springs, Ca. 92264

http://www.domestic-violence-help.org/the-courage-to-heal-from-abuse.html



Making Jesus Your Lord and Savior

Do you know that Jesus loves you? Did you know that Jesus died for you? Have you

ever wondered if Heaven is real? Have you thought about what will happen when you

die?

The answer is found in John 3:16 (NLT). ―For God so loved the world (you) that He

gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal

life.‖ Jesus died for you. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to earth as a human being,

lived a sinless life, then died on the cross and rose again for you. Yes, my beloved child,

He died for you!

He died for your sins. He died so that you will be forgiven. He died so that you will

spend eternity with Him. He chose you, hand picked you as His very own, to be His

child. He wants to be your personal Savior. He wants to redeem your life, restore it, and

give you an everlasting, abundant life. This gift of forgiveness and eternal life is yours,

all of it, but it is up to you to invite Him into your heart.

Romans 10:9-10 (NLT) says, ―For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and

believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by

believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with

your mouth that you are saved.‖

If you have let your faith lapse, or you have not made Jesus your Lord and Savior, and

now you want to invite Him into your life, please pray with me.

Lord Jesus, I ask You to forgive me for my sins. Lord, I believe that You have forgiven

me completely and I receive that forgiveness. Jesus, Your Word says that if I believe in

my heart and confess with my mouth that You are my Lord, I will be saved. Lord, I

believe and I confess that You are my Lord. I believe that You died and rose again. I

believe that if I call on Your name I will be saved. Lord, I am calling, and I invite You

into my heart and make You my Lord and Savior. I surrender my life to You. Wash me

clean, and teach me to live for You. Lord Jesus, I believe I have received the gift of

salvation and the gift of forgiveness. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.



Congratulations! I believe that when you prayed this prayer that you were saved. The

gift of salvation is yours. Jesus is your Lord and Savior, and you are a child of God. Did

you know that the Bible says that the angels rejoice in heaven when a person repents? At

this very moment, all of Heaven is rejoicing over you– and so am I! Would you please

write me so that I may rejoice with you and pray for you?

Do you want to know more about your salvation? Below are some scriptures that speak

of it. These are just a few of the promises from the Word of God that assure your

salvation:

Isaiah 1:18

Psalm 51:1-12

Psalm 103:11-12

John 3:16

John 5:24

Acts 16:31

Romans 3:21-24

Romans 10:9-10

Romans 10:31

Ephesians 2:8-10

1 Peter 1:5

1 Peter 2:9-10



BACK OF BOOK

Will the Real Me Please Stand up? Unveiling the True You! Is a guided journal that

redeems the loss of the past. Have you felt you have had to wear a mask or veil that has

hidden the real you? Have you wondered what it would be like to find out who is behind

the veil? Over the years victims of abuse have experienced great: a loss of identity, a loss

of love, a loss of oneself. This guided journal is not about reliving what was done to you,

but it is about redeeming the losses and restoring the future so that you can live, love and

laugh as the real you, the beautiful you, who you were created to be.

Documents

The Courage to Heal A Guided Journal of Healing from ... … · The Courage to Heal from Abuse: 60 Days to a New You! Kelly Ann Evers Founder of His Love Heals, Domestic Violence