The Crazy Pelican by Steven Donnini

8/9/2019 The Crazy Pelican by Steven Donnini

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The Crazy

PelicanBy Steven Donnini

Halloween Party at The Pelican Bar.

Copyright 2010

Steven Donnini

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Halloween night 2005, The Pelican Bar was the place

to be in Orlando, Florida. Everyone was dressed in

elaborate costumes much like the Halloween Parade

in New Yorks East Village. But instead of gay New

Yorkers dressed in bazaar costumes, the place was

filled with Colombians and Brazilians dressed for

Mardi Gras. There has been bad blood over the

years between Colombians and Brazilians. So much

so that when they mix liquor and women one can

expect that before the night is through theyll be

hair, teeth, and eyeballs on the bar top.

Fernando Vidajet bought the Crazy Pelican in 1990

after he moved to Florida from Bogot. As his

Attorney Jimmy James said, Allegedly escaping a

homicide rap of a Judge who didnt care much for

cocaine traffickers pouring cash into the offices

of the Mayor and other city officials.

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Since moving to central Florida he had become low

key in an effort to clean up his reputation. But

its hard to give up the easy money, so his hand is

in the business enough to know the players. Now

the big money traffic is in high-tech guns and

fashionable body armor. The thing is Fernando

looks like a pint sized Golf Caddy. His wardrobe

consists of Tommy Bahamas shirts, Bermuda Shorts,

Colombian handmade sandals and a Ping cap.

He has a nervous habit of bouncing a golf ball on

the bar floor. Norma a Attorney with Jimmy James,

is late to the Pelican Halloween Party, she figures

its going to be a long night and she will do some

prospecting handing out of business cards later.

With this crowd the action will start about

midnight when the Peotone and Mescal is flowing.

Mescal is hard and cheap not like any other

Tequilas. Its consumed by the Colombians who

use it to wash down the ever present cocaine.

Fernando doesnt sell coke in the bar.

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Instead he has a customized Black Cadillac Escalade

complete with the vanity plates CANDY MAN,

registered to his gangster second cousin Pepe who

parks in the back lot with a sales crew. They

offer the finest nose candy, Dips (PCP dipped

cigarettes) and Blunts at a premium price. Jimmy

James and the regulars call Fernando The Crazy

Pelican. The truth is Fernando makes more cash

selling guns and shipping untaxed American

cigarettes to the Colombians than the cocaine that

passes through. He knows that Pepes wife Semone

has been skimming on the coke sales. Fernando

never liked her after he caught her having sex with

a Porto Rican in the power room. Caught red faced,

she cried and he agreed to keep it quite. Anyway,

Semone was being watched 24-7.

As Fernando says, Yeah, Kemosoby, you need an

extra set of eyes in your ass, because everybody is

trying to hose you.

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Jimmy James makes his way through the crowed bar

and is greeted by Fernando, Hop-a-long Casa-

dooch.

Jimmy, Shit man this is what I always ware.

Bartender, Thats Paladin not Hop-a-long.

Jimmy, I like the black western look, its my

trademark. You know.

Fernando, A cracker cowboy?

Jimmy, How about you? You look like a doorman at

the Disney Resort.

Fernando, Im in disguise. Its low key.

While the Halloween party is in full swing a few of

Fernandos boys are unloading a shipment of

firearms into the storage room of the Pelican Bar.

6 fifty cal. Sniper rifles, 4 Stinger surface to

air missiles, 12 RPGs, 6,000 9mm rounds, 25

newly minted 45 cal. Chrome plated US Navy

pistols, 2 - 45 cal. Chrome plated pistols with

white Ivory handles and 12 Kevlar all-weather

Jackets with vests.

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Rico a bartender opens the boxes to inspect and

verify the delivery. Fernando is careful about

what he ships to his Colombian clients because they

are very picky, especially about fashion and the

Kevlar clothing he is having tailored for them in a

small shop in Deltona. Fernando is a compulsive

gambler and loan shark. So, when someone owes him

on a bet or drug deal, its going to get paid one

way or another. He does this work himself. About

12:00 James Jimmy James joins in the Halloween

party dressed as Al Capone and carrying a Israeli

Submachine gun loaded with live ammo. To announce

his arrival, he fires a few rounds into the wooden

floor. The music stops. Half the men in the crowd

pull out their pistols and take aim at him.

Fernando jumps on top of the bar and says, Hay

cool it. Its just a costume.

James high on some of Fernandos product says,

Just kidding.

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The music starts again and festivities continue.

Jamess high ginks have gotten him in many a hard

place. He has an unpaid sports gambling debt with

Fernando that is way overdue. He walks up to

Fernando.

James, Ive got a deal for you.

Fernando, Just pay me. No deals.

James, You cheap bastard. Kiss my cracker ass.

That ball game in Miami was rigged. I do favors

for you all the time.

Fernando, So do me a favor, pay me. James takes a

roll of 100 bills and counts off $2,500.

James, Dont ask me for anything.

Fernando, OK were square. Fernando calls out to

Pepe to get a case of Corona from the cooler. Pepe

is a hot headed Colombian with many years of

experience in the drug trade. The party breaks up

about 4:00am.

At 10:00 in the morning, Jimmy arrives in his

office and is greeted by Norma who had just gotten

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in. She turns on the small TV on her desk to see a

police chase on Interstate-4.

The helicopters from TV network affiliates are

following a black Cadillac Escalade with tags

reading Candy Man, being chased by a dozen police

cruisers from Orlando, Orange County, Altamonte

Springs, Winter Park and The Florida Highway

Patrol.

As for the story, it was called into a 911 operator

by a frightened neighbor, She reported, Pepe had

come home to discover his wife Semone in the act

with a Porto Rican man half her age. The man

escaped out the back door, around the pool and over

a fence into my backyard.

When the police arrived they surmised Pepe had

returned to the bedroom and confronted Semone who

had gotten dressed in a t-shirt and very short

shorts. After being out all night at the Pelican

Bar, Pepe lost what little cool he had, riffled

through a hall closet for his machete and whacked

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off her head. He grabbed her head by the hair,

carried it outside and put it on the passengers

seat in the Cadillac SUV. The police put out a

call to all departments in the area. I-4 and

Altamonte exit Florida Highway Patrol cruiser

pulled up close to the right rear end of the SUV

and gave it a nudge. At 70 mph it doesnt take

much to flip an SUV. It flipped over and over

until it came to a stop in the grass beside the

road. In all the flailing around Semones head

flew out an open sunroof like a canon ball and

landed 300 feet away in the roadside brush.

Pepe was OK except for a badly cut left ear. He

was arrested and transported to Orange County Jail.

Fernando called Jimmy James to meet him there.

Pepe wasnt talking to police who were interested

to know what happened to Semones head.

Jimmy asked the homicide detectives to please leave

the interrogation room. He asked Pepe, What

happened?

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Pepe answered in Spanish, I came home about 9:30,

walked into the bedroom and found Semone with her

cousin Alberto. Chopped of her head and took her

with me to get an oatmeal breakfast at Dennys.

Thats when the police chased me.

Jimmy, Wheres her head?

Pepe, Must have flown out the window in the

crash.

Jimmy, Why did you take her head with you to

breakfast?

Pepe, I wasnt finished talking to her.

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The Crazy Pelican by Steven Donnini