The Detective

THE DETECTIVE Includes: Mystery Feature - whodunit?A Career in Crime - Do you have what it takes?

Facing Reality - How realistic is fiction?Wrist Deep - Life of a forensic pathologist

credited to Neph-

May 2015 -- 3

back cover credited to Double-L, J Greb, Will Hart, S Jones

There are several things in this world that makes us happy. Family,

friends, food, etc. But the most important thing, in our very (not)

humble opinions, is fiction. Fiction can take you away from whatever kind of day you’re having, whether it be good or bad, and change you without

you putting in any effort save paying attention to the story. Maybe we’re just lazy, but books and movies and TV shows and podcasts have been our lives. We love it and we wanted to

share it with you.

Detective novels, from the very beginning, have been one of the most

diverse genres that still falls under the common stereotype. (Welcome to the world where stereotypes and offensive

character tropes are true. If you didn’t know this already, what are you doing here?) You can have the

cheesiest characters where everyone is a suspect and everything is a dark

gloom or you can have the most awkward detectives stumble around their goofy

little world where terrible things happen. There is absolutely no limit

to what can happen in a detective story and it’s all 100 percent

unpredictable. Plot twists. New murders. The least suspected person is

the criminal. And at the end of all of it, if you’re anything like us, you

will gasp, point, and shout “I KNEW IT!”, even if you didn’t.

We (a few freshman at LASA for a class- Electronic Magazine) wrote

our own little detective story, and we wholeheartedly hope you will follow and enjoy the peppered bits

throughout the magazine. It makes our biographies and table of contents a

little bit unorthodox and a little bit untruthful, but we assure you that, just like in life, everything has a

ring of truth.

Enjoy.

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS

Limited Edition -- THE DETECTIVE

CASE FILE

Art professor

Jane Smith fou

nd dead in the

parking lot

of Price Unive

rsity three da

ys ago. Local

police suspect

foul play. A s

nake bite was

found on the u

pper forearm.

No

other marks we

re found on th

e body, but bu

llet casings w

ere

found near the

scene. Ballis

tics has yet t

o get a match.

Toxicology rep

orts were off

the charts and

have been dee

med

unreliable. C

oroner estimat

es time of dea

th from 9 p.m.

to 11 p.m. Cau

se of death ha

s not yet been

identified. T

he

husband to the

deceased, Joh

n Smith, commi

tted suicide

yesterday. The

three remaini

ng suspects ar

e Dr. Hannah

Danforth, art

student Mariss

a Graf, and Mi

ss Rebecca Hic

ke.

10- Detectives Through the Decades

15- A Career in Crime

20- Solving in Style

22- It’s A Jungle Out There

26- Facing Reality

32- Dead-Ringer Detective

37- Wrist Deep

42- Faithful Sidekicks

May 2015 -- 5

SUSPECTS

Miss Rebecca Hicke Relation to Deceased: sister Occupation: Best-Selling AuthorKnown best for her mystery and other genre novels, Miss Hicke is an extremely competitive person. Sibling rivalry between the victim and the suspect has been ongoing since childhood. Can often be found reading in her studio apartment. Despite being a cello playing socialite with many friends, she often says that her closest bonds are with fictional characters.

Marissa Graf Relation to Deceased: student/apprentice Occupation: Photography Major, Senior YearWell-known to her teachers for being a well-rounded student and on the swim team as one of their best athletes, Graf is dedicated to whatever task she has committed herself to. She frequented the art room where she would rely on the victim as a type of manager who would help her find jobs. She also plays the piano and is in band as one of the flutists. A quiet person, but has several close friends who all respect and admire her.

Dr. Hannah Danforth Relation to Deceased: colleague/friend Occupation: Animal Care and Genetics Professor at Price UniversityFocused almost entirely on her work, Dr. Danforth spends most of her time alone in the Biology Wing of the University caring for the snakes. Although she can be hilarious and benign to those around her, she often secludes herself with either her snakes or her violin. Despite her almost violent outlook on the world that can be viewed as madness, she has a few close friends who care about her, including the victim.


After grudgingly accepting what appears to be a simple petty case, you begin digging into a bit of the victim’s past. Besides, there’s barely anything else to do since the coroner still hasn’t found anything other than that snake bite. So you head to Dr. Danforth’s office at Price University, since she has access to several snakes. As you walk on the nearly deserted campus, you run into Miss Hicke, wearing a long dress that ran with the

shadows.

“Hello, detective.” Her voice was low and quiet, but still clear in the cold night. “Found any clues yet?” Her caustic tone catches your attention. You notice how she remains in

the gloom of the building.

“Nothing yet,” you reply, hoping you can get something out of this little conversation. “I was on my way to ask Dr. Danforth some questions.”

“Hmm, a step in the right direction,” she says, her voice slightly more relaxed. You’re instantly suspicious. You raise an eyebrow. “I never had a good feeling about that woman, but she wouldn’t have the guts to kill her only friend. It’s that art student, Graf, you should be worried about. Always clinging to her, going wherever my poor sister went. I bet that little brat did this.” Her voice remained cool and collected, but you sensed her tense as she mentioned the third suspect. Perhaps there was something to be said about

Graf.

As you reminisce on the strange encounter with Miss Hicke, your cell vibrates in your pocket. It’s the chief of local police. Maybe they finally managed to figure something

out. “What is it?” You ask, cutting to the chase.

A disgruntled voice replies gruffly, “Detective, we found out that Mrs. Smith just came into some money. Her parents died in a fire recently, about a week ago. Faulty wiring or something like that. Anyway, they left all their money to their two daughters: Mrs. Smith and Miss Hicke. The victim also rewrote her will just a few days before she died. Her be-longings go to her husband, her art pieces go to Graf, and the rest goes to Miss Hicke.”

“Thanks.” It doesn’t take a genius to realize what a motivator money can be. “Anything else?”

“Actually, yes. We found that Mrs. Smith was going to quit this semester. The Dean called up and said that the day she rewrote her will she said she was quitting. Travelling with

her husband or something.”

“Thank you. Let me know if you find out anything else. Keep digging. See if the coroner’s found the cause of death yet.” Three suspects, three new motives. As the only friend Danforth had, she could feel betrayed and attack, explaining the snake bite. Then again, the money and Miss Hicke would make sense too… You should get to Dr. Danforth’s office.

Detectives through the Decadesstory and art by Rebecca Hicke

Hercule Poirot:Hercule Poirot is a creation of Agatha Christie, a Belgian detec-tive. He appears in 33 total nov-els and 65 short stories. He likes things very orderly and neat, such as having the books on a shelf ar-ranged by size. He is known for his astounding moustache. He is an ‘armchair detective’ who solves crimes by sitting and think-ing.

Nancy Drew:Nancy Drew is a girl detective. Her books under the pseud-onym Carolyn Keene. She is known for being brave, bold, and daring. She is considered a role model for young children, especially girls. Drew breaks many gender stereotypes especially for the time it was written. She is an icon for many children starting to get interested in reading.

1920 1926 1939 197119301887

Lieutenant Columbo:Columbo is the star of a TV show which ran for an impressive 10 sea-sons. He never tells anyone his first name, responding Lieutenant when asked. He is married to a woman who is only ever referred to as Mrs. Columbo and has a dog. He usually solves cases after several minutes at the crime scene. He has never let a case go unsolved.

Batman:Batman is a superhero every-one knows, the crime fighting alias of Bruce Wayne. The transformation into vigilante for Batman was prompted by the death of both of his parents when he was a young child. Although Bruce Wayne is his real name he considers Batman his real identity. His sidekick is known as Robin.

Jane Marple:This lady is more than she seems at first sight. Though she may be old, this in no way hinders her sleuthing abili-ties. She first appeared in the short story The Tuesday Night Club by the sensational Agatha Christie. She also appears in her own series of novels and moved on to have her TV show and movie.

Holmes first appeared in A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. This developed into a series that quickly grew a fanbase that demanded more of Holmes. Since then he has starred in multiple movies, TV shows, and even video games. His sidekick John Watson is an almost constant compan-ion.

221BSherlock Holmes:


Fictional detectives have been floating through our imagination for decades. They appeal to the imaginations of all

ages. Some have achieved a level of notoriety that is shock-ing for someone who never really existed. These are some of the most notable fictional detectives that have ever been written.

2005 2006 2009 2014

FBIDEPARTMENT of INVESTIGATION

SPECIAL AGENTTHIS CERTIFIES THAT THE SIGNATURE AND PHOTOGRAPH HERE ON IS AN APPOINTED

OF THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF JUSTICE, UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF INVESTIGATION

Seeley Booth

Seeley Booth:Seeley Booth is an FBI agent who appears on the show Bones. He works closely with his partner Dr. Temperance Brennan, a forensic anthro-pologist, and her team at the Jeffersonian Museum to solve murders. He has a knack for reading body language and fol-lows his gut. He has a military background as a professional sniper.

Shawn Spencer:The star of his own TV show, Psych, Spencer is a goofy, hyper-observant P.I. who tricks the SBPD into thinking he’s a psychic. He often ropes his best friend Burton Guster, or Gus, into his antics as he tries to solve crimes. You’ll find a laugh and a pineapple in every episode.

James Gordon:James Gordon is a homicide detective on DC’s new show Gotham. He is a member of the Gotham City Police Department and his partner is Harvey Bullock. His father died when he was young. He’s a foolhardy detective whose inability to give up constantly gets him into trouble.

City o

f New York Police

41319

Kate Beckett:Katherine Beckett is a homi-cide detective with the New York Police Department’s 12th precinct. Her mother was mur-dered when she was 19. Rich-ard Castle is a mystery novel writer and her partner. She works closely with two other detectives, Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan, who she treats like younger brothers.

Aaron Hotchner:Aaron Hotchner is a Superviso-ry Special Agent and unit chief with the Behavioral Analysis Unit, or BAU, which is a part of the FBI. He is a serious and determined leader of a group of profilers that go around the country helping local police solve crimes. He has a son named Jack with his ex-wife who he loves dearly.

Phyrne Fisher:Phryne Fisher is a glamorous Australian private detective who solves crimes with the help of her companion, Detec-tive Inspector Jack Robinson. Widely renowned for her elegance and sexy process of solving crimes, Miss Fisher uses horoscopes and hyper vigilance to prey on the crimi-nals that flood the Australian streets.

Sources: http://www.tvguide.com, http://backgroundchecks.org, http://gotham.wikia.com/

May 2015 -- 11

Your thoughts on the new information about Miss Hicke’s motives are interrupted as you bump into Marissa Graf on the way into the science building. “Sorry,” she says, continu-

ing past you outside the building. You reach back and grab her arm.

“Ms. Graf?” you ask. She isn’t known for going into the science building often. Espe-cially not before school even starts.

She winces and yanks her arm away, clasping it with the other. “Just Marissa.” She pauses and looks up at you. “Are you the detective in charge of the case?” You nod. “Have you

found anything out yet?”

“What’s wrong with your arm?” Where she’s clutching her arm is a dark shade of purple. She looks down at it and warily releases it, showing it to you. You hold back a gasp. It’s one of the worst snake bites you’ve ever seen. The bites marks were a deep red and the bruises around it was a revolting combination of green and purple. “What happened?”

you asked, unable to contain yourself.

“Nothing. One of the snakes in Professor Danforth’s room bit me. It’s fine. I’ll be al-right. I kinda deserved it.” She muttered. You notice how she won’t look you in the eye.

“What were you doing in the Biology Wing to begin with?” You quickly remember that she

is a possible murderer.

She darts her eyes and shuffles her feet before stammering, “I-I wanted… Professor Dan-forth wanted to see me.” You stare at her. “It was a personal matter, detective.” She squirms under your unrelenting gaze. “The Professor wanted to ask how I was doing. She

said she wanted to make sure I was okay, since we were both so… so close to her.”

“And are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She smiles. “I’m always fine.”

You look back at Marissa, running to the fine arts building. Perhaps Miss Hicke was onto something. Or maybe she was just trying to place the blame on someone else. You reach the office of Dr. Danforth. No one answers when you knock. “Dr. Danforth? Open up. I have a few questions for you.” When no one replies, you charge in, breaking down the door to

reveal a very angry looking snake.

The snake hisses and bares its fangs. You reach for your gun and-

“Allistair!” A voice commands. “Down!” As the snake slithers towards the voice, you look up to see Dr. Danforth walk away from her lab, removing a wet towel from her forehead.

book womanPoetry is the shadow cast by our streetlight imaginations.

-Lawrence Ferlinghetti5501 North Lamar #A-105, Austin, TX 78751

credited to Jorge Rayon

A Career inCrime

by Marissa Graf

As the crime technician ducks under the yellow caution tape, she can tell right away this one

had been dead for a while. The stench penetrated the air. The first responder catches her up with the details and she hears the familiar popping of the body as it gets placed in the body bag. The crime technician manages to avoid the stream of bodily fluids as it fountains out of the body. And she considers this is a good day.

When Emma Osario, a prop-erty crime technician, arrives at a scene much like this one, there are already other prop-erty crime techs, detectives and occasionally forensic scientists evaluating the crime. Although their jobs may be quite different, they have one common goal: to solve the case. The different jobs require certain areas of exper-tise which need specialized training. It takes the exchange of infor-mation and work-ing

Badge from the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

May 2015 -- 7

credited to Dean Calm

a / IAEA

Once new evidence is submitted into a lab the scientists are required to record the informa-tion immediately.

together with people outside of your team to solve a crime. This line of work attracts certain types of individuals.

Property crime technicians (PCT) inves-tigate crimes related to property, like burglaries of peoples homes and auto thefts. The job of a PCT is a 24 hour a day, seven days a week gig. They work on a shift schedule and rarely have down time. Their “workplace” is pri-marily their vehicle which is equipped with a Mobile Desk Computer, MDC, that gives them all the information that is going on in the city at that point in time. If a job comes up that is under a certain person’s job description, they are dispatched to the scene. Emma Osario has worked in the crime scene unit of the Austin Police Department for three years and is comfortable with the day-to-day protocol. “We take the call, we arrive on the scene, gather pertinent information, we document the scene, photograph if necessary and col-lect proper evidence if available.”

When arriving at a crime scene a prop-erty crime tech will look for specific details depending on what type of crime they are investigating. Many of the crimes they investigate are burglaries. When investigating this type of case PCTs usually first search for the pos-sible point of entry and exit, whether the perpetrator left anything behind, and check to see if there are any con-nections between other crimes in the area. They do this by looking for clues that might give the detectives insight to the date and time the crime took place, so that they can compare suspects and

detect patterns in the crimes. PCTs in-spect the same things for the burglary of a vehicle, and also check for any dam-age that might have been done to the vehicle; if any doors were left unlocked or if there are any signs of bodily fluids. “Every different scene has its own things you want to look for depending on the nature of the call,” Osario said.

The job of a property crime techni-cian serves a very important role in the crime scene spectrum. Many are de-voted to doing their best to help the vic-tims. “Being systematic and methodical in everything that you do,” Osario said, is the most important part of her job. Detail oriented individuals are crucial in this line of work, because forgetting one step or missing a small piece of infor-mation could mean that the crime is not solved Osario agrees. In many cases, the lack of evidence creates a very chal-lenging situation for the investigators. “Evidence does not lie,” Osario said, and when there is no evidence to lean on, patience and resourcefulness must kick in. A case is difficult to prove when it is strictly made of the statements of victims and witnesses.

Osario can handle the challenges and demands of her job because she finds energy and purpose from the people she works with and the victims she helps. She enjoys the networking that is involved within APD and interacting with the community. Osario tries her best to make the victims she is helping

Several students gather sample evidence from a mock crime scene.

Limited Edition-- THE DETECTIVE

A team of female officers boarding a ship to examine cargo.

credited to James Tourtellotte, U.S. Governement

credited to Leonie aus Bonn

feel at ease and safe. “I enjoy like being resourceful and being able to help people if they need [it],” Osario said.

Homicide detec-tives work major felony crime cases including aggravated assaults, robbery, sexual assaults and death investigations. Homicide detectives

spend most of their time on the computer in their office. They insert the information they have gathered from other professionals as well as people in their own department relating to a crime. They occasionally get called out to come to certain crimes like suicides and deaths. When first arriving at a scene, the first responder, who generally tends to be a deputy, catches the detective up on any infor-mation they have gotten and everything they saw. After gather-ing information from the scene, a homicide detective will return to their office and listen to 911 calls relating to that crime to see if they have pertinent information from possible witnesses.

It takes time and ex-perience to know and understand how to work a crime scene. A person has to pay their dues in the department before they can become a de-tective. Before becom-ing a detective, a person must put in their time as a police officer. After five years of experience, they have the option to stay in their current position or apply for a promotion to detec-tive. Once promoted, the individual usually

starts off in the property crime division. Depending on the person’s interest, they can choose to test into different detective divisions. Not many slots exist so a detective may have to test every year until a slot opens up.

Jim Anderson is a homicide detective for the Sheriff’s Department in Austin. “Doing the best job I can every single day despite good days and bad days,” Anderson explains, “And trying to work the cases that are assigned to [me] to the best ability [I] can,” is the most important part of the job. Anderson believes that the dedication required of a homicide detective supersedes any other qualification. And his favorite part of the job? Putting the bad guy behind bars.

As Anderson points out, the job brings with it many challenges. But for Ander-son, “One of the most troubling things is when we see children that die for whatever reason. Most of our detectives

have children, as I do, so those are the most difficult to deal with.” Keeping your composure and spirits up in a job like this one requires a confident, grounded and an emotionally balanced individual according to Anderson, who experiences traumatizing events on a regular basis. “We have had two of-ficers that have died in the line of duty, one of them was shot back in 2001,and I worked that murder case. Then I recently worked the case involving a deputy that was drowned at a water crossing and so those are generally the worst days that I have had in my career. People that I actually knew,” Anderson said.

Forensic Scientists analyze the data gathered by professionals working on the crime scene. The crime technicians and detectives bring their findings to the forensic scientist who must use his

May 2015 -- 9

A New Orleans police officer putting up crime scene tape on 1st Street

credited to Derek Bridges

expert training in the lab. Types of evi-dence include fingerprints, hair samples and bodily fluids. Forensic Scientists apply DNA testing to these and other evidence found to link the crime with a possible suspect. After testing the DNA, they write a report on their find-ings and sometime go to court to testify on their findings.

Gary Molina from the Texas Depart-ment of Public Safety received a Bach-elor of Arts in Biology and said he uses his education every day in his job. Com-bining this with his passion for public service has made this the perfect job for him. The stress of the working condi-tions can sometimes get frustrating for Molina. “There’s no room for mistakes. But when work seems hard, I remind myself of the job’s importance and how it helps victims,” Molina said in an interview with the Texas Workforce

Commission. Accordingly, the volume of work makes focusing and staying on task challenging at times which makes the job more difficult.

As a new day begins, a call comes in that a body has been found. A property crime tech and a detective receive the call and head out to the scene. The discussion at the scene when they arrive indicates that the body has been there a while. They approach to see a mummi-fied corpse. Crime cases will routinely involve gruesome situations. It takes a certain kind of individual to handle this type of work. “There’s always a lot go-ing on,” Molina said. “And the unex-pected always happens.”

The absense of the towel reveals the start of a nasty looking bruise. She leans down to grab the snake and wraps it around her neck. “Sorry about that, he’s been a little feisty lately.” You wonder if this is the snake that bit both Mrs. Smith and Marissa. She throws the towel on a clear counter and offers her hand. “Dr. Danforth. You must be the detec-

tive. What can I do for you?” Her voice was unsettlingly calm.

“Ma’am, what happened to your head?”

“This? It’s nothing. Just an angry student. I’ve had worse. Is there anything you need?” The way she deflects from the topic puts you on edge. Maybe it’s just all of the snakes in the room. You look around and realize there are dozens of tanks with large snakes

residing in each.

“Yes, actually. There was a snake bite on the victim, Mrs. Smith. Would you happen to know anything about that?” As you talk Dr. Danforth handles the snake, wrapping it around

her neck again and playfully grabbing its head. It’s kind of disgusting.

“Ah yes. Poor, poor Jane. She came to visit me around 6 the night she died. I’m afraid Allistair bit her.”

“Did the snake also bite the student who punched you? Marissa Graf?”

Dr. Danforth chuckled. “I suppose there was little hope of keeping that little encounter a secret. Yes, Allistair bit Marissa, but only out of defense.”

“What was the snake defending itself from against Jane Smith?” Her face darkens. No one speaks for a few moments, but you aren’t about to back down. “What did Jane do?”

“Ask her sister. She gets all of it anyway,” she snaps. You look at her for a moment. You’d crack her eventually. You just need time.

You leave the campus and walk to Miss Hicke’s apartment. You wonder why it hadn’t struck you as odd that someone who wasn’t a student or a faculty member was on school campus.

You need to ask her some more questions.

“Ma’am?” You ask, knocking on the door.

Locks click and the door opens, but only as far as the chain lock will allow. “What is it?” Miss Hicke speaks from behind the door.

“Miss, I have some more questions for you.”

“Have you arrested Graf yet?”

StyleinSolving

Timing is of the es-sence in detective work

and Hercule Poirot must check his pocket-watch often to keep on

track of the suspect.

Hercule Poirot’s mus-tache is definitely the

most noticeable feature on him. It seems to

have a mind of its own.

On many occasions you will see Hercule Poirot wearing a monocle to

help him examine very detailed clues.

Sherlock Holmes often examines evidence he

finds too tiny to be seen with the naked eye.

by Marissa Graf

European detectives have their own special flare. The most common image is one of a chap wearing a trenchcoat carrying a magnifying glass. The famous European detectives below prove that this stereotype is not al-ways true. Read on to see the unique items distinguishing the well known detectives that have solved many well known cases.

Not many European detec-tives are seen with guns, but Agent 007’s iconic silhouette

in the beginning credits of his movies separates him

from all the rest.

Miss Marple is often seen sporting a hat while conducting her investiga-tive work. It seems to be

crucial in solving the case!

This is James Bond’s signature drink, on the job and off. He usually

drinks martinis, but when he does, he

prefers them shaken not stirred.


credited to Marissa G

raf

American detective char-acters that have entertained us through the ages have dis-tinctive qualities and per-sonalities. The classic black suit is often the “uniform” of choice although their wardrobe runs that gamut. Be-low are examples of the most beloved american detectives.

World’sBest Coffee

Many detectives get to work early in the morning and stop for a cup of coffee on their

way to the office.

Practically every Ameri-can detective uses this,

partly for protection but mostly to look cool.

Very often detectives must look for clues in dark corners and unseen places.

Nancy Drew’s flashlight not only lights up the area but

can come in handy to knock out an enemy.

John Rayburn regularly wears dark sunglasses to intimidate his suspects or lie to his own force.

You will commonly see Lieutenant Columbo

with a half-smoked cigar in his mouth. He stores them in his breast or suit

pocket or in an empty Altoid tin.

Life in crime is danger-ous for detectives and their loved ones. Kate

Beckett wears her moth-ers ring around her neck

for “the life she lost.”

Aaron Hotchner, along with Seeley Booth and practically every other

agent is always prepared to show thair badge in case of

an emergency.

Shawn Spencer always has his cell phone handy in case he needs to call for backup or look up

the best churro stand in Santa Barbara.

Frank and Sadie Doyle, supernatural detectives, are never seen without

their drinks. Their utter disregard for everyone but themselves is amplified by

the alcohol.

sources: http://castle.wikia.com/wiki/Kate_Beckett, http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0026631/, http://

www.columbo-site.freeuk.com/

May 2015 -- 21

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“There was a vehicle pursuit in east Austin and we chased them to the “four corners” at Oak Springs, 11th Street and around that area. We go up the street and the car we were chasing is there. The two guys run in opposite directions and we chase and catch one. We go to find the other one and our K9 was out there with us. my partner was so close to the guy, that our dog almost bit him in the butt. So since then, whenever I see my partner we say “nalgas” which is buttocks in Spanish.”

-Bremner

“I was in a pursuit but not the initial officer. A bunch of police officers were also in pursuit of the vehicle. It drove through an apartment complex that backs up to Airport Blvd. And there is also a Bank of America next to it. in between the wall that separates the apartment complex and the bank there is a space and the car flew through there and caught air and landed with sparks flying. It was just like in the movies. But when the cop directly behind drives through, it realizes what is about to happen so it stops, but not in time. So it is teettering on the edge and the officer has to figure out how to get out of the car without it going over. When the car in pursuit lands, there were four people in it and they all scatter. One was a woman on crack and instead of running she just climbs into a cop car nearby, sits herself in the back seat and waits.”

-Bremner

“So I stop a car for running a stop sign. The guy was very aggressive, asking why he was being stopped. He kept saying “you killed my brother!” (I found out lat-er that his brother died in police custody but it was not our fault, he had drug problems). This guy went on and on and we went back and forth. Then his family started coming out of a house a few houses down. I got this strange feeling like something was not right and I had to get out of there because I didn’t have back-up. So I closed it up don’t rememberer if I even gave him a ticket. Later I found out that that night the mom of the guy I pulled over had talked the dad out of shooting the female officer who had stopped their son.” -Bremner

It’s a Jungle by Marissa Graf

Out ThereHaving a job connected to the criminal justice

system means that you’ll inevitably find yourself dealing with some pretty awkward situations.

Naked drunk people, silly accidents, dumb criminals. Here are some of the weirdest things

police officers from the Austin PD have seen.



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“While Working on 6th street, this guy was intoxicated and he climbed a rain gut-ter but when he got to the top, the gutter was old and rusted and it couldn’t hold his weight so he fell onto the street and he had to go to the hospital.”

-Aguilar

“The brother of a woman had called because he had been trying to get a hold of his special needs sister but she had not answered her phone in over 24 hrs. I go out to an-swer the call and when we arrived I looked through the window, and I’ve learned over the years that when you see a dog running around in circles in the house, it means the owner is dead. We found that she had died in the bathroom on the toilet. She had had internal bleeding and all this blood start-ed coming out of her behind. Obvi-ously she was confused and stood up really fast. She got dizzy and fell over into the bathtub and hit her head. We found her in a rigamortic state bent over in the bathtub. Because of the internal bleeding there was blood all over the floor as well as poop. I went back to my car to write the report and was ready to go grab something to eat when they called me in to

clean up the mess. I was pretty frustrated but went back in there to clean. One of the really buff guys from the clean crew was hav-ing difficulty picking up the body and all I was thinking was that if I slipped in this I would flip out. So finally I just wanted to get out of there and eat so I went behind the body, grabbed the back of her shirt and she lets out this HUGE moan (from all of the fluids that were still in her stomach, it’s very common). Ok so now I’m mad. So I grab her and procede to drag her through and out of the house, and put her body on the stretcher. Then I look up and see her brother (the one who called in) and he had watched me drag his sister’s body out. I’m very frus-trated at this point and I walk up to the brother, say “I’m sorry for your loss,” and walk to my car.”

-Anonymous

credited to http: Marissa G

raf and //studentweb.cortland.edu/

“No, Miss. Why do you suspect the art student?”

“I already told you. She was always around her, and now she’s leaving. My sister was her entire career, why wouldn’t she kill her?”

“Miss, why were you at the campus tonight?”

“To see what that scumbag was up to.”

“What did you find?” The chain is removed and the door opens all the way.

“I found a letter.” She sounds triumphant.

“What sort of a letter, miss?” You take a moment to look around her apartment. It’s a decent place; it’s in a good part of town with large floor to ceiling windows overlook-ing the glow of the city, but you guess a best-selling author can afford that. You hear a small meow and spin just in time to see a black and white cat slink out from behind a

chair and into another room. What is it with these people and animals?

“It was a letter to Ms. Graf, informing her of my sisters upcoming trip.” Miss Hicke seems almost too happy to tell me this.

“To where?” This is new to you.

“Don’t you know? My sister was leaving her job and her work to go on a trip around Europe with some of the new money she got from Mom and Dad. Always the sensible one; she saved half of the money first. Even then there was enough for a trip. She and John planned for months. A huge shebang. Plenty of romanitc getaways and beautiful sights to see.” She

seems to have gone a little glassy eyed and off topic.

“And what do you think this proves Miss Hicke?”

“That Graf knew that she was leaving. That girl was nothing without my sister. She was good enough, I guess, but the only reason people bought her work was because she had my

sister’s approval.”

“And you think that she would have killed her mentor over this?”

Miss Hicke snorts, “Artists.” Your phone buzzes and you pick it up.

“We have cause of death.”

“Well?” You say. “Spit it out.”


credited to Ivan Bandura

Facing RealityHow TV affects the way we perceive police investigations.by Hannah Danforth

An anonymous call from an apartment complex about hearing gunshots. Not wanting to disturb the resi-dence, the police left and didn’t file a report since

they didn’t find anything. “The next day the woman on the first floor goes out for her morning cigarette and her patio was covered in blood. She looks up, calls the police while looking up, and sees on the patio of the third floor what looks like a foot hanging off and just pretty much a curtain of blood coming down,” Crime Scene Specialist Angela Roe said. A man was found dead on the patio; his wife was dead in the house.

For Roe, a scene like this is just a standard day at work. Roe is in charge of preserving evidence so that it can be analyzed later in court. She collaborates with detectives who investigate persons cases such as assaults, kidnappings, and deaths.

“I can stomach bad smells more than most people can which I don’t know is a good thing,” Roe said.

People don’t often consider little details like how dead bodies smell when they think about criminal investigations. Then again, detectives in most TV shows don’t think about it either. According to an article by Learn All the Way written in 2013, what’s on TV affects people’s perception of reality more than they would like to think.

May 2015 -- 13

Riot police guarding the entrance to a building at a massive pro-EU rally in Kiev on November 24, attended

by over one hundred thousand people.

The connection between fiction and reality is foggy at best; detective stories are no exception. One has a private detec-tive butting into the officer’s case, who are often portrayed as followers or inadequate, and solving a clever crime within 45 minutes. The other involves diverse forensic divisions and a year-long waiting list to test DNA samples. The differences between the two affect police work more than one would think.

“You watch CSI and you’re going to want to know what hap-pened within that one hour timespan. It also creates kind of a burden on people in the forensics field like ‘Why weren’t you able to find out who broke into my house?’” Roe said.

People forget that there is a lot of procedure that goes into solving a crime because it’s not on TV. An article on English Online stated that television creates ideas that stay with us for a long time, including things like making the world to be more violent than it actually is.

In the real world, investigating persons crimes, such as as-saults, kidnappings, and homicide, tend to involve a mixture of waiting and paperwork. When at a crime scene, Roe explained that the first thing that happens is usually docu-menting. Crime scene specialists write up and pack evidence found while detectives pour through the evidence, trying to

find possible explanations for what happened. The crime scene specialists send out the evidence to appropriate divi-sions for further analysis. But it’s not all fun and games.

“It has become more second nature,” Roe said. “When I see a body it’s the point where it’s like I can’t help them anymore as far as bringing them back to life. But I can help them by determining what happened. I can’t help a family with their grieving. I’m just not trained for that.”

Roe has seen many things that most people don’t see their whole lives. There was a case where a woman tried to cut off her own head. There was another where a woman shot her husband in their apartment because she thought he was possessed. A few months later, there was a murder-suicide in the same apartment. Roe explained her job is depressing and stressful, but she enjoys the variety of people she encounters day-to-day.

“I suppose there were fleeting moments when I would say ‘This is crazy. I should have been a bus driver or some-thing,’” Former Police Detective Roger Wade said.

Wade was a child abuse investigator and has had over 35 years of law enforcement experience. He mentioned that he liked helping people, but that working child abuse cases could be an emotional roller coaster.


A Federal Bureau of investigation badge and gun. Many FBI agents are shown as all-around types;working kidnappings and solving murders, but there are several jurisdictions for different types of crimes.

credited to dynamosquito

credited to the Federal Bureau of Investigation

“The law enforcement is ninety-five percent boredom and five percent sheer terror and you just have to be able to survive the boredom and you can handle the sheer terror,” Wade said.

Crime television shows have recently become more com-mon, portraying the professions of people like Angela Roe and Roger Wade. Blogs and magazines written in 2014 such as Indiewire and Paste have noted the growing popularity of crime shows on Netflix and other streamers. Shows like Bones, CSI, Gotham, Sherlock, and many more describe, critique, and reveal the inner workings of criminal investiga-tions. But how accurate are these shows?

“I can’t really watch. It’s poor enough to where I can’t watch the shows and take them seriously,” Roe said.

Some major differences between what’s seen on TV and what actually happens surrounding criminal investigation is the rapidity of the shows and novels. TV shows tend to be twenty minutes to an hour long. Detective novels are between 150 and 500 pages long. This obviously affects the length of the case; everything needs to be wrapped up in a little bow before the end of the story. On the contrary, some cases take years to solve.

“So you have a detective that is a DNA expert and a ballistics expert and will be on the scene. Also everything seems to be condensed. So you have one person and a very quick time-line. Unfortunately it’s not that it takes time to run a lot of the tests, it’s that there are so many and there are so few people

A silhoutte of the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes; a character of Sir Arthur Conon Doyle.

working them that you’ll have backlogs that are years. That’s very unfortunate,” Roe said.

For example, instead of getting DNA tests back within a few minutes, sometimes it takes years to get the results from the lab; not because of inferior technology, but because there are extremely long waiting lists where everyone in the state of Texas sends their DNA for analysis. Instead of one person who happens to be a DNA specialist, ballistics professional, an expert marksman, and a stellar detective, there are several people working for several divisions to solve a crime. More inaccuracies include minor mishaps in protocol.

That’s one thing that irritates me is when you see someone take a glove out of their pocket but not actually put it on but uses it to pick something up. I’m like, ‘It takes two seconds,’” Roe said.

Besides the major issues with the shows, Roe and Wade agree that it’s the details that upset them the most. Hair falling close to where they’re taking DNA swabs, hardly any paperwork after discharging a weapon, little things like that.

“I would say that the very basic core idea is accurate but everything else is not,” Wade said.

LASA freshman Tasi Jones is a detective story enthusiast. “Personally, I enjoy detective novels because they’re like those wooden block puzzles; it’s fun racing against the char-acters and seeing if I can correctly solve the case,” Jones said. Despite knowing the faults of fiction, she mentions that her favorite authors are the Swedish couple, Sjöwall and Wahlöö.

“ A scene from the 1922 Sherlock film.

Actress Paget Brewster from the Thrilling Adventure Hour reading her script. Some of the segments of the show include sparks nevada marshall on mars, The Deep-Sea Detective, and Beyond Belief; all of them mysteries or action detective shows. Paget Brewster also plays Emily Prentiss on criminal minds.

credited to Jonathan Reilly

“The character development is more realistic, and issues such as mistrials and police interference are addressed, but not mocked,” she said.

Jones was, in a way, born into the stories of detectives and their adventures. Her parents love crime shows and her brother is working with the FBI and has a PhD in psychol-ogy. However, she is aware of the difference between reality and her Swedish novels. Especially their portrayals of law enforcement officers.

“In ‘Sherlock’, the officials are rather useless and just serve as fodder for the main character’s ego,” Jones said.

In popular criminal television shows, the main character is normally consulted by the police force or FBI, but is rarely ever part of the government themselves. Jones believes that this gives the impression to the audience that, on their own, law enforcement are ineffectual lackeys. This drastically alters people’s perceptions of their jobs.

“It also creates kind of a burden on people in the forensics field like ‘Why weren’t you able to find out who broke into my house?’” Roe said. “So there’s also that kind of bur-den of ‘Well you should be able to find this.’ It’s like yes it would be nice if we could find evidence at every single scene but it’s not always possible.”

Jones has noticed that the fast pace of CSI and FBI inves-tigators on TV enlivens the ideal that crimes can be solved quickly and without much effort. This places a hindrance on actual crime scene investigators to not only solve the crime, but to do it quickly. Whether it means to or not, nov-els and TV shows affect real life. People expect police work to go a certain way after watching a certain amount of shows. “They have the same goal, and it’s not the twisted adult version of a scavenger hunt that’s presented in most novels,” Jones said. “The police officers often do seem

Changing the common stereotype is ridiculously hard, especially with the hallyu wave

backing it up with all of their latest dramas. It’s not a change that’ll occur quickly, it would take a long period of time and that’s

only if people are willing to let go of their Sherlocks and Watsons.

“

can change the nature of a character and the way that jobs, illnesses, and cultures are portrayed.

Fiction in general is a part of its own culture as well. Correct-ing the fallacies of detective stories would take away the magic of losing one’s self in an alternate world where bad guys are found and criminals always get their just desserts would be like tearing away an aspect of that culture.

“There’s a definitive line between actuality and fiction, and at the end of the day, what I read in novels isn’t reality.”

credited to Roy Lichtenstein

novels,” Jones said. “The police officers often do seem incompetent in the public’s eye, but they also have a large stream of crime pouring into their hands every day, so I believe the portrayal needs to account for this.”

Jones said she believes that the portrayal could and should be more realistic. But she said that getting rid of stereotypes glorified and glamorized by TV shows watched around the globe would be incredibly difficult, if possible at all. One of the more difficult tasks would be removing the falsities of mental illnesses shown in “Sherlock” that excuses intel-ligent sociopaths mistreating everyone around them. Another would be the rate that law enforcement solves crimes. Slight misconceptions such as these such as these, Jones comments,

A panel from a detective comic book

credited to Johannes Jonsson

yes

Dead-Ringer DetectiveA character is identified by their traits and unique quirks. Stalwart detectives are no different. From genius snob to stupid sidekick, the range of characteristics is limitless. Follow this questionnaire to determine which character best resembles you.

Do you defend whatever you think is right, even when it’s not?

Do you get agitated when people question your deductions?

Do you prefer to be around other people?

Do you get offended when you’re wrong?

Are you sociable?

Do you prefer to be out in the field?

Do you know the right thing to say in every situation? Do you put other

people’s lives over your own?

Do you prefer to go after suspects yourself?

SPENCER REIDIntelligence and general noticing makes you a genius, especially in the eyes of your friends. Your childlike emotions paired with your acumen and ability to pay attention is valuable in any team.

NANCY DREW You’re a social butterfly. You’ve made a name for your-self as a fantastic detective, but that’s not the only reason for your popularity. You’re an incredibly benevolent person who cares deeply about others, especially the ones you love.

ARTHUR HASTINGSYour people skills leave nothing to be desired, but you’re constantly in awe of your partner so your own shining qualities sometimes seem dull in comparison, de-spite their intentions. But you always have their back, no matter what, especially if you’re in a car chase.

AARON HOTCHNERYour strong belief in right and wrong is the foundation of your stark character. Your serious demeanor might give off a cold, stoic impression, but everyone around you truly knows how deeply you care. Despite your benevolence, your de-votion to your job isn’t very good for your social life.

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Limited Edition -- THE DETECTIVEBattle Q

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kay_Panabaker

Melissaavendanocarabali

by Hannah Danforth

yes

Would you consider yourself a graceful person?

Do you notice most of the the details when you go places?

Do you keep up with pop culture?

Are you aware of street slang and gang-bangers’ terminology?

Would you be able to figure mysteries out without your partner?

Do people consider you a warm person?

TEMPERANCE BRENNAN

Your genius is a constant wonder to those around you. Despite this, you tend to be brutally honest to the point of offending many people. You know how good you are and you’re not afraid to remind people.

SHERLOCK HOLMESYour attention to detail and quick thinking often gets you out of (and sometimes into) trouble. Sometimes you can rub people the wrong way, but that doesn’t bother you since you’re too busy with the task at hand. After all, the game is on!

HERCULE POIROT

You know who you are and you know what you are: a genius. An egotistical bon vivant. Your hypervigilance and acute senses de-tect nearly everything as soon as you walk into the room. And if you missed some-thing? You did it on purpose.

SHAWN SPENCERKnown as a goofball to all of your (many) friends, your witty remarks keeps everyone around you on their toes. Since you give off such a casual impression, your hypervigilance and sterling genius catches strangers, and sometimes even friends, off-guard.

PHRYNE FISHERA graceful bon vivant who oozes sensuality and the pinnacle of femi-nism, your intelligence surprises and pleases everyone around you. Your sexuality and sociality defines you, but in the best way possible.

JAMES GORDONAn all-around tough policeman, your “ends justify the means” atti-tude applies to your personal life as well as your professional life. Your strong, stubborn morals are why people who care about you follow in your footsteps.

BATMANYour reclusive nature and stark attitude defines who you are and who you deal with. Justice is justice, no matter what happens along the way, but you draw the line at murder. Just don’t forget to go out and have fun once and a while.

SEELEY BOOTHYor close relationship with your partner makes your duo unstoppable. Betwixt the two of you, you tend to be the people-person, dealing with both victims and villains. Your fighting skills are the envy of criminals and non criminals alike and your tender heart makes you the per-fect companion

JOHN WATSONEvery detective needs a sidekick, and no one can complain with you by their side. A tough exterior protects your soft heart, and although you can be rather stubborn and quick-tempered around your part-ner, whatever the situation, nothing can take away your fierce loyalty.

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Sources: bbc.co.uk, criminalminds.wikia.com, cbs.com/shows/, fox.com/bones, dccomics.com

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_(TV_series)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_(TV_series)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_anthropologists

Genevieve

vagueonthehow

Gage Skidmore

Gage Skidmore

Andrew GuytonPaulo Barcel-los Jr.

“It was an insulin overdose.” You’re going to want to check to see if any of the suspects are diabetic, or at least have some access to insulin and knowledge of needles. You step

back into the room where Miss Hicke is trying not to look curious.

“Miss Hicke are you diabetic?”

“No. Why do you want to know?”

You ignore the question. “Do you have any training with needles?” She looks too confused to be behind this.

“No. What use would I have had for that? Tell me what’s going on.”

“We’ll fill you in when the investigation is over.” She’s about to say something but you run out the door to try to talk to the next person on your list. You check the address and hop in your car. Miss Graf lives in a much less nice part of town, as is to be ex-pected, but not as bad as you would think for an art student. Maybe Miss Hicke was right and her pieces were selling. You knock politely on the door and hear a voice from inside.

“Hold on, I’m coming!”

“Miss Graf,” you greet her. She sighs in what seems to be relief.

“Oh, it’s you.”

“May I come in?”

“Sure.” She opens the door and lets you in. You notice the baseball bat she rests next to the door.

“Just one quick question, Miss Graf. Are you, perchance, diabetic?”

“Yes. How do you know? On second thought, why do you want to know?”

“Nothing. That’s it for now. Thank you for talking to me; I’ll come to you when I have more information.” You walk back to your car, mulling over the new information. Now that Miss Hicke is out of the running you only have two suspects left. Could Miss Hicke have been right? Would Miss Graf really been mad enough at her teacher leaving to kill her? You’ll have to check how her sales have been since death. Until then you should go talk

to Professor Danforth.

As you expected Professor Danforth is still working. It seems like she never stops.

Forensic Pathology Ms Amy Moore

Room 242Liberal Arts and Sciences Academy

7309 Lazy Creek DriveAustin, Texas 78724

Distal Phalanges

Proximal Phalanges

Middle Phalanges

Carpals

Metacarpals

credited to was_a_be

said that it “can involve debating cases, writing them up, get-ting toxicology results, following up with police, and meet-ing with lawyers and stuff like that.” He said that his office has a rotating schedule, so for each day there is one person who takes control of the new bodies and cases. They have a secondary staff and the others can do the catch up work from their days on.

Forensic pathologists do not, by any means, work alone. They have the help and input of many different scientific fields such as firearm examiners. These are the people who work with ballistics, examining any evidence that has to do with firearms. They also work with toxicologists, who look at the chemicals in the body, and case evidence people, who work mostly with DNA. Forensic dentists work with the identification of people who have decomposed, burned in a fire, or who had their remains significantly damaged in some other manner. Forensic dentists can also help look at bite marks left on things and can determine information from the remainder of a jaw. Forensic anthropologists are sometimes consulted because they can recognise the gender, relative age, and ethnicity a person might have been just from the skel-eton. Feig explains that against popular belief and the image enforced by the TV show Bones they actually have very little contact with forensic entomologists. These people look at insect activity and can sometimes determine how long a body has been in a certain area. Not all of the people that forensic pathologists interact with are scientific, however, they must also work with law enforcement agencies and lawyers. In the end they are a link in a chain of many people who have to work together to solve the mysteries of the dead.

But when forensic pathologists don’t have someone else to motivate them they need to do it themselves. When talking

James Feig searches through the internal organs of a deceased person looking for the cause of death. He is a Deputy Medical Examiner with the Bexar County Medi-

cal Examiner’s Office in San Antonio. This is a task he is used to because doing autopsies is an essential part of his job and one he performs frequently. Even though this is far from his first autopsy he can still be surprised. He definitely did not expect to find whole strawberries and Starburst wrappers in the stomach.

Forensic pathologists are the readers of dead bodies; their job is to determine the cause of death by doing postmortem investigations. For this skilled set of individuals, a corpse is a vault of information. They can see what is hidden to others by examining the organs of the deceased. With this knowl-edge, they can do anything from help solve crimes to assuage family members fears. The public image of a forensic pa-thologist is that they focus solely on murders and only work when the detectives need them. But they can also save lives by notifying a family of a genetic disease. They do important work but are infrequently the sole focus of books or articles.

A forensic pathologists life is not always dark or glum. They don’t need to pull the late night hours surgeons, or other medical professionals, do. In her book, Working Stiff, Judy Melinek, M.D., speaks of her young son and husband and how she balances them against her work. At the beginning of the book, she tells of her life as a surgical resident: busy all the time, on call at all hours of the night, and growing apart from her husband. After eventually collapsing from exhaustion, she decided to switch to forensic pathology. In her blog Melinek discusses the difference in workload. She said, “they’ll still be dead tomorrow.” In some ways forensic pathology can be less stressful than surgery and doing surgery can actually do more harm to a person than performing autopsies.

But autopsies aren’t the only part of a forensic pathologists job; they have a variety of other chores and obligations. Feig

Wrist DeepMaking a livingoff of dyingby Rebecca Hicke

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win

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THe white piece, or dura mater, is pulled back during this brain autopsy exposing meningitis.

May 2015 -- 21

A forensic odontologist and commander in the US army catalogs dental remains of a possible service member.

It takes a lot of work to become a forensic pathologist and to be able to give that kind of closure. “For becoming a forensic pathologist, there were a lot of steps in between, so, I sort of just took things one step at a time,” Feig said. The first step is an undergraduate degree and all the required pre-med classes. And he is right there are very many steps to becom-

ing a forensic pathologist. After receiv-ing an undergraduatedegree one must go to medical school. Many say that medical schools are hard to get into, so, getting the grades to achieve this takes concentration and effort. Medical school is usually four years long. The next step is to complete a residency program. This is also around four years long and covers many different aspects of medicine,

including much of the information needed to go into foren-sic pathology. Some classes people need to take are Gross Anatomy, Histology, Pathology, Biochemistry, as well as the clinical aspects. To officially become a forensic pathologist one must also become a licensed physician and get board certified. But in the end, one is rewarded with the position of forensic pathologist.

about what motivates him, Feig said, “ [...] those things allow me to do of what I think of as setting the record straight.” Hetalks about how others are incapable of doing the work he and his colleagues do, and the families of those corpses are still alive and need closure. They need to know what hap-pened to their loved one and not just in murders cases.

At the same time, a forensic patholo-gist considers themselves a deceased’s last link to the living. “Well that person died, and we are the final opportunity to set the record straight, to make sure we understand what happened,” Feig said. They con-sider their jobs to be very important. Dinesh Rao is a forensic pathologist who has worked all over the world. Rao tells of a time when he became the Director and Chief Forensic Pathologist in a part of Jamaica where it used to take 3-4 months for the families to get an autopsy. He reduced that time to 2-3 days and within 24 hours for homicides. He believes that a timely autopsy is a very important part of his job and one that deserves special attention and effort and that it gives the family members closure and allows them to move on with their grieving.

Well, that person died, and we are the final oppurtunity to set the record straight, to make sure we understand

what happened.


“

“

credited to Cpl. James P. Johnson, U.S. Army

However, it is not the position for everyone. Rao said that he got into the field through “graduation and self interest.” Feig tells that what got him first interested in the field was actu-ally a TV show called “Quincy ME.” He said that it was one of the very few TV shows on then that focused on forensic pathology and that was what got him into the idea of medical school. Cyril Wecht has been a medical examiner and a med-ical/legal professional for around 40 years and has worked on and contributed to many high profile cases. He is also a nationally acclaimed forensic expert. He said that he was the only child of immigrant parents, and it had been expected of him from a very young age to go to medical school. “Go into medicine by all means first, and if you think you have any interest at all in law and even if you’re in law school, you can

work a little bit as a doctor here and there picking up some money. “It’s much better to do it that way,” Wecht said about getting into the medical/legal profession. In the end, he said, it is just important to go into something that interests the individual.

Forensic pathologists look for the cause of death in people and some are more comfortable working with the dead than the living. “It’s like putting together pieces of a puzzle,” Feig said about finding out the cause of death. This is their livelihood. They do autopsies, they assuage families fears, and they testify in court. But they are human beings like any other.

May 2015 -- 23

This skull is from a human male, approximately eight years old. THe mandibular central incisors are just coming in.credited to High Contrast

Blood Splatter is credited to Stefar Kernjak

‘Professor, good to see you again.” It’s almost the truth.

The short woman doesn’t look up from the snake she’s currently attending too. “You too. Is this going to take long? I have to finish this soon.”

“No, ma’am, this will only take a moment of your time.” She looks up. “Do you have any experience with needles?” You immediately notice her reaction. Her face darkens more than usual and the bags under her eyes seem heavier as the shadows of her face reveals

more wrinkles.

She puts her hands in her pockets. “Why do you ask?”

“Just answer the question, Professor.”

“Of course I do; I have to give the snakes shots for my experiments.” You notice her hands rummaging for something. Your hand instinctively goes to your gun. “Any more questions?”

“Do you have access to insulin?” She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t need to. “Why did Ms. Graf come to see you?”

“Marissa is a student, she’s allowed to come to the Biology-”

“Don’t give me that. She has no interest in science.” She closes her eyes. “How did Ma-rissa find out?”

“She heard about the snake bite. She knows they don’t bite unless I want them to.”

You walk towards her, grabbing your handcuffs. “Ma’am, I’m arresting you for the murder of Jane Smith. Anything you say can and will-”

She charges at you, pulling a large syringe from her pocket. You dodge out of the way and swing a fist in her general direction but she’s too fast. It misses and you’re caught off balance. She turns toward you and snarls,“I was saving this one for Marissa, but you’ll

have to do,”

You hear a hiss and glance to the snake baring its fangs behind you. Why did it have to be snakes? In the split second it took for you to look up the professor grabs a hold of your arm and tries to plunge the needle in. You shove her into the snake, grabbing the needle and tossing it to the other side of the room. She dives for it but you pull out

your gun. “It’s over.”

She lets the syringe go and it shatters as it hits the ground loudly, spilling the clear liquid all over the floor.

Faithful SidekicksA sidekick is someone who chases after their partner through their many adventures. They’re some of the most underrated character in books and movies, but their traits make them just as lovable as their other halves. These traits are some of the bare minimum that every good sidekick should have.

Kindness:Sadly, not everyone has this trait. You need to be able to talk to a grieving family, pay attention when your partner isn’t taking care of themselves, noticing your partner’s ticks and tells. Essentially, you have to be up to the task of taking care of your partner. Be sure it’s someone who does the same.

Patience:Some people are harder to deal with than others, which is why any good sidekick needs a lot of patience. Your partner needs someone who isn’t going to storm off

every time they do something wrong. Not to mention all the stake-outs you will be going on. But despite everything, make sure you find a partner who is

worth it.

Trust:Being able to run down a dark alley to catch a suspect is one thing, but being able to do it based off of someone else’s deductions is another case entirely. Being in a relationship of any kind means being able to put your life into someone else’s hands. You need to be able to have faith in your partner, but make sure that goes both ways. Give your trust to someone who deserves it. Loyalty and love are the two basic things that make up a team.

Bravery:Speaking of chasing down suspects, how will you be able to if you don’t have the courage? Even excluding the hazards of the job, you need to be brave enough to commit to someone. Every partner deserves someone who is willing to do what

needs to be done, if not for your partner then for the career.

Humbleness: Some people tend to forget or ignore the sidekicks. Being omitted or left out is a feeling no one likes, but you have to get used to it. Sometimes you don’t get the credit you deserve. You need to be okay with that, because most partners need the attention and credit. As long as they know what you do, it should be good

story and art by Hannah DanforthSources: bbc.co.uk, criminalminds.wikia.com, cbs.com/shows/, fox.com/bones, dccomics.com


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