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LEADERS KNOW WHAT they should be
doing, so why aren’t they doing it? When a
leader knows the preferable behavior, why
stick to an old pattern and fail to perform as
desired? The answer is that each of us has
two selves: one self is thoughtful, circum-
spect, and rational (the inner executive),
and the other self is habit bound, impulsive,
and emotion driven (the inner elephant).
In this groundbreaking book, leadership
expert Richard Daft reveals how leaders can
recognize the two parts of themselves and
learn to calm down, train, and guide their
inner elephant toward the desired success-
ful behavior.
Inner excellence means removing the
personal fl aw that is holding you back as a
leader—such as procrastination, avoiding
confrontation, a short attention span, per-
fectionism, tactless remarks, weak resolve,
overreacting, criticizing, chasing the wrong
gratifi cations, or not following though. This
important book is fi lled with lessons for
leaders on resolving the inner struggle be-
tween impulse and self-discipline, between
blind reaction and big picture wisdom.
(CONTINUES ON BACK FLAP)
RICHARD L. DAFT holds the Brownlee
O. Currey, Jr. Chair in the Owen Graduate
School of Management, Vanderbilt Univer-
sity, where he specializes in the study and
teaching of leadership. Professor Daft is
the author or co-author of thirteen books,
including his best selling texts, and dozens
of scholarly articles. He has consulted and
lectured widely and practices this book’s
concepts in his work and personal life. Write
Dozens of proven exercises will empower
you to direct yourself and others more
productively. With a little practice, your
inner executive will learn to choose correct
actions rather than let your unwanted
behaviors have their way.
Through compelling real-life coaching
examples of dramatic personal changes,
along with recent fi ndings in psychology,
management, neuroscience, and Eastern
spirituality, Richard Daft provides guidance
to all of us who want to follow our best in-
tentions when leading ourselves and others.
Praise for The Executive and the Elephant“Wow, what a book! I started to breeze through it, and I ended up reading and
thinking about every chapter. . . . The Executive and the Elephant touches both
my brain and my heart, and the eff ect is at once humbling and energizing. I’m
going to send copies to everyone I care about who is under pressure, working
hard, and in a leadership position.”
—WILLIAM OUCHI, Sanford and Betty Sigoloff Distinguished Professor in Corpo-
rate Renewal, UCLA; author of Theory Z
“Outstanding! Dick Daft has shed a whole new light on what it takes to set you
apart as an eff ective leader. If I had read this book earlier in my career, I would
have arrived sooner to the chairmanship of Bridgestone Americas.”
—MARK A. EMKES, retired chairman, CEO, and president, Bridgestone Americas, Inc.
“Filled with practical suggestions and novel insights, The Executive and the
Elephant will transform anyone into a more eff ective leader.”
—JEFFREY PFEFFER, Thomas D. Dee II Professor of Organizational Behavior,
Stanford Graduate School of Business; author of Power: Why Some People Have It—And Others Don’t
“For thousands of years we have been programmed to think that leading
change means doing things ‘to’ other people. In this wonderful book, Dick
Daft helps us successfully transform ourselves into the leader—and person—
we want to become.”
—ROBERT E. QUINN, M.E. Tracy Collegiate Professor, Ross School of Business, University of Michigan; author of Deep Change and Change the World
“This magnifi cent book contains a tapestry of wisdom from around the world
that shows leaders how to begin serious self-transformation by someone who
has been there, done that.”
—PETER VAILL, senior scholar and emeritus professor of management, Antioch University
“This book is a ‘bible’ for [leadership] self-development.”
—RONALD E. RIGGIO, Henry R. Kravis Professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology, Claremont McKenna College
Cover image by Tim Flach | Stone | GettyCover design by Adrian Morgan
L E A D E R S H I P
THE
EXECUTIVE
AND
THE
ELEPHANTRICHARD L. DAFT
A LEADER’S GUIDE TO BUILDING INNER EXCELLENCE
“Kings, heads of government, and
corporate executives have con-
trol over thousands of people
and endless resources, but often
do not have mastery over them-
selves. From a distance, larger-
than-life leaders may look fi rmly
in control of their businesses and
their personal behavior. What
about up close? Personal mastery
is a diffi cult thing.”
—FROM CHAPTER ONE
(CONTINUED FROM FRONT FLAP)
TH
E E
XE
CU
TIV
E A
ND
TH
E E
LE
PH
AN
TD
AF
T
$27.95 U.S. | $33.95 Canada
THE EXECUTIVEAND THE
ELEPHANT
a leader’s guide for buildinginner excellence
•
Richard L. Daft
Copyright © 2010 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.
Published by Jossey-BassA Wiley Imprint989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741—www.josseybass.com
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmittedin any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning,or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United StatesCopyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the publisher, orauthorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the CopyrightClearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax978-646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the publisher forpermission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc.,111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax 201-748-6008, or online athttp://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Daft, Richard L.The executive and the elephant : a leader’ guide for building inner excellence /
Richard L. Daft.p. cm.
Includes index.ISBN 978-0-470-37226-5 (hardback); 978-0-470-63661-9 (ebk);
978-0-470-63667-1(ebk); 978-0-470-63668-8(ebk);1. Leadership. I. Title.BF637.L4D34 2010658.4’092—dc22
2010013839
Printed in the United States of Americafirst editionHB Printing 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Contents•
Preface viiAcknowledgments ix
PART ONE
The Two Selves
1. The Problem of Managing Yourself 3The Conflict Between Knowing and DoingThe Universal Failure of WillpowerThe Divided Self: Executive and ElephantLearning to Lead from Your Inner ExecutivePurpose of This Book
2. Recognize Your Two Selves 15Levels of ConsciousnessTwo Voices WithinWhy Your Mind Is Filled with Automatic ThoughtsUnfocused Elephant Mind Versus Focused Executive PresenceSmall Box Versus Large Mind
PART TWO
Ways You May Mislead or Delude Yourself
3. Three Tendencies That Distort Your Reality 37Your Internal JudgeYour Internal MagicianYour Internal Attorney
iii
iv contents
4. Every Leader’s Six Mental Mistakes 52Reacting Too QuicklyInflexible ThinkingWanting ControlEmotional Avoidance and AttractionExaggerating the FutureChasing the Wrong Gratifications
PART THREE
How to Start Leading Yourself
5. Engage Your Intention 71Visualize Your IntentionVerbalize Your Intention
6. Follow Through on Your Intentions 90Write Down Your IntentionsSet DeadlinesDesign Tangible Mechanisms
7. Calm Down to Speed Up 107Get ConnectedLet It HappenSit by Your ProblemRelax Your BodyCalm Your Elephant by Acting the Part or Making
a Gentle Request
8. Slow Down to Stop Your Reactions 125Stop and ThinkStop InterruptingDetach from Your Emotions and ImpulsesJust Say NoEmploy Punishment
PART FOUR
Become Aware of Your Inner Resources
9. Get to Know Your Inner Elephant 147Know Yourself
contents v
Solicit FeedbackTake Advantage of a Setback
10. Expand Your Awareness 162Review the DayContemplate Creatively
PART FIVE
Reach for the Heights
11. Sharpen Your Concentration 177Focus Your AttentionFocus on Means, Not EndsSlow Down, Look, and ListenFocus on People
12. Develop Your Witness 192Turn Inward to Develop Your WitnessUse Radical Self-InquiryWho Am I?
13. Reprogram Yourself 209Repeat a MantraPrayer May Help, but Not the Way You Think
14. Mend Your Mind with Meditation 223Why Meditate?An Easy Way to StartTwo EssentialsMindfulness MeditationTry Visual Rather Than VerbalContemplative Meditation
PART SIX
Can You Lead from a People Frame of Reference?
15. Change Your Frame to See People 243What Is Your Frame?From Leading Objects to Leading HumansHow to Change Your Frame
vi contents
16. Change Your Frame to Ask Questions 261From Answering Questions to Asking QuestionsIn All Things, Consult
17. Living and Leading from Your Inner Executive 275Higher Consciousness RevisitedWhen Her Mind Went QuietAnswers to Individual QuestionsFinal Thoughts
Notes 294About the Author 311Exercise Index 313Index 317
Preface•
although i didn’t know it at the time, this book on inner excellencebegan on my first trip to India. I felt a calling to learn about spirituality,and where better to start than India? Sitting on an ashram, readingand studying deep ideas, and trying to meditate were jolting changesin paradigm for me, as were the hot days and cold showers. At timesmy head almost hurt as I tried to integrate what I was learning in theEast with concepts from the West; the spiritual and academic were notblending easily. Gurus from Eastern traditions did research into the mindby focusing on the mental dynamics within their inner world; Westernsocial science focused on understanding other people in the outer world.Both lines of inquiry were sincerely searching for the truth, but in oppositedirections. It took me a while, and multiple trips to India, to assimilatelessons derived from within into the lessons from the outer world withwhich I was more familiar.
As I absorbed a new way of thinking, a key discovery for me was theEastern concept of using Buddhi or ‘‘intellect’’ as a mental mechanism toguide one’s life, rather than living a life helplessly surrendered to one’ssenses, desires, and self-interest. As I began to comprehend this somewhatseparate and higher way of thinking, I started seeing similar concepts inthe West. The notion that people have two selves or two thinking pro-cesses now seemed to appear all around me, along with the nagging prob-lem of how to regulate or manage one’s emotions, impulses, and fears.Many people were asking questions about how to focus their restless mindand energy, how to avoid distractions, and how to manage themselves tolead or live more effectively. I saw a great deal of interest and inquiry fromboth psychology and neuroscience in self-regulation and in the extent towhich people had so-called free will or were governed by unconsciousdesires and thought processes. In psychology, the higher part is charac-terized by conscious or metacognitive thought processes that are distinctfrom the nonconscious or simple cognitive processes. In neuroscience,
vii
viii preface
the higher part is called the executive function in the brain’s prefrontalcortex, and the lower part includes the rest of the nervous system.
In some sense, the two parts of the mind are not very complicated.One part is quick and impulsive, and at times its restless urges aretoo strong to control. This part wants immediate gratification; it has ashort attention span and a childlike stubbornness in defending its ownpositions. The other part is slower and wiser, humble, determined; itdoesn’t overreact to things, and keeps the larger purpose in mind. I hadmy own issues finding more of the slow and steady within me to replacethe reactive and restless. I researched and experimented with manytechniques from East and West that would develop the part of my mindthat could manage my own behavior.
This book is about the how, not the what, of improving your leadership.Changing one’s personal habits or leadership style is not easy. Wheredo you go for help? There are hundreds of books on leadership thattell people what they should do as leaders. These books offer excellentadvice, such as the five leadership principles, seven habits, ten timelessprinciples, fifteen secrets, and twenty-one irrefutable laws, all of whichhave value for readers. In contrast, my purpose in this book is not to giveyou another list of what makes a good leader but to provide the how ofchanging and improving yourself into the leader you want to be and canbe. This book offers specific exercises and practices that show you how tostart managing yourself to become more effective as a person and a leader.
When I started using these ideas to teach MBA students and managershow to strengthen their intellect, they reported back some progressin changing themselves. One problem was that people had a hard timeidentifying with their own conscious and unconscious minds. Things tookoff after I adopted simple names for the two parts. Participants in myclasses and programs then really seemed to get it. The names that stuckwere inner executive for the higher part (intellect) and inner elephant forthe lower. Students started using the terms to describe themselves andtheir behavior. A few executives took the terms back to their workplacesas a point of reference to help people understand and transcend their lessfunctional behavior. These notions had practical value, so the remainingchallenge for me was to write up the ideas and practices in book form.
The final tally is that I am now living within a different paradigm andhave experienced modest success teaching these ideas and practices toothers. Pursuing inner excellence has certainly changed me. I hope someaspects of this paradigm of two parts within your mind will help youdevelop the higher part of you on your journey to becoming a better leader,spouse, parent, friend, colleague, or employee, along with greater focus onand satisfaction in whatever endeavors in which you engage. Your innerexcellence is waiting for you to claim it. Why not get started now?
Acknowledgments•
writing a book seems to me at the start like a solitary exerciseaccomplished through individual will. Soon it becomes clear that writinga book cannot proceed without the support and involvement of manypeople and organizations. On the academic side, I am deeply grateful forthree books that helped me see the two selves clearly and understandhow they worked. These books elevated my belief that the book I wantedto write was possible, and each of these books was so well conceived andcrafted that I had an ideal to shoot for in my own writing:
Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truthin Ancient Wisdom (New York: Basic Books, 2006)
Timothy D. Wilson, Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adap-tive Unconscious (Cambridge, MA: Belknap Press, 2002)
Marilee C. Goldberg, The Art of the Question: A Guide to Short-Term Question-Centered Therapy (Hoboken, NJ: Wiley, 1997)
Many people and writings helping me understand Eastern spiritualinsights into the mind and how to train the mind. The Santa Fe Bud-dhist satsang discussions provided wonderful guidance and instructionas I started my inquiry. The Diamond Heart books and programs helpedexpand my thinking to include Sufi wisdom mixed with Gestalt psychol-ogy. Later, I was profoundly influenced by the teachings and writings ofSathya Sai Baba, Ramana Maharshi, Joel S. Goldsmith, and A Coursein Miracles. The writings of Eckhart Tolle were extremely helpful forshowing how big spiritual concepts translate into everyday life. I wantto specifically thank Sharda Madagula for guiding me through A Coursein Miracles and introducing me to the publications of Joel S. Gold-smith, Mina Menon for hosting the Sai study circle at her home, andS. Mahadevan for his expert facilitation of the Bhagavad Gita discussiongroup. Participants in each of these discussion groups and programs
ix
x acknowledgments
made many contributions to my thinking, for which I will always bethankful.
For helping me refine personal improvement practices for leaders andprofessionals, I owe an extraordinarily large debt to the MBA andExecutive MBA students who willingly participated in my coachingexperiments here at Vanderbilt, and to the executives who attendedmy leadership programs and provided feedback from their experiences.I want to point out that MBA students are in their middle to late twenties,and Executive MBA students are typically in their thirties and forties.These students have substantial work experience and much experience asmanagers and leaders. They are practical minded rather than theoretical.Students in several classes tried experiments at my behest and providedfeedback on what worked and did not work. I could not have written thebook without their feedback on the exercises and practices. I am deeplygrateful for their honesty about very personal issues. I have disguisedtheir identities by using fictitious names and by sometimes altering thecontext of their experiences to protect their privacy.
I am also grateful to the Bridgestone/Firestone global developmentclasses of worldwide senior managers, TVA’s Leadership and Man-agement for Accelerated Performance, Aegis Technologies, Oak RidgeNational Laboratory, and a federal government agency for allowing meto test these ideas on their managers. Also, Michael Ray of StanfordUniversity sent me exercises that he developed for his MBA classes.I appreciate Michael’s generosity for letting me adapt several of theexercises for my classes.
Here at Vanderbilt, I especially thank Dean Jim Bradford, OwenGraduate School of Management, for his continuing support for thisproject, and for suggesting a quotation used in Chapter One. I also thankassociate deans Bill Christie and Don Iacobucci for not overloading mewith administrative projects, and associate dean Tami Fassinger for herenthusiastic support of my roles in executive teaching and as EMBA groupdoctor. I feel special appreciation for my assistant, Barbara Haselton, forher excellent and prompt support, especially her continuous filing andrefiling that helped me find things and gave me time to write. I am alsograteful to Pat Lane, my editorial associate, for her work researchingsome pieces of this book and for her outsized contributions to otherbooks, freeing me for this project. Members of my academic group alsowere interested and supportive. Ranga Ramanujam suggested readingsand provided helpful insights. Tim Vogus used a coaching model toteach his MBA classes, so our discussions provided valuable insights forme. I also owe an intellectual debt to other colleagues in my group atVanderbilt: Bruce Barry, Ray Friedman, Neta Moy, Rich Oliver, David
acknowledgments xi
Owens, and Bart Victor. I am also grateful for the superb service fromour library, with special thanks to Laura Norris and Rahn Huber, whoresponded instantly to my many requests.
The people at Jossey-Bass also contributed significantly. KatheSweeney, acquisitions editor, signed this book and showed faith andpatience for a project that was hard for me to describe. Kathe alsobrought together an excellent team. Alan Schrader was frank and veryhelpful for structuring the book’s content into a logical sequence and foridentifying elements that could be omitted. Anonymous reviewers alsoprovided excellent feedback along with a number of suggestions thatI adopted. My thanks also to Rob Brandt, Joanne Clapp Fullagar, andMichele Jones.
With my family I experienced the full duality of solitude and support.I spent endless hours isolated in my office, trying to keep my innerelephant on point, while also missing human contact. My wife, DorothyMarcic, understood the message I was trying to communicate and wasunwavering in her encouragement. Dorothy, along with my daughtersRoxanne, Solange, and Elizabeth, were enthusiastic about the bookand provided materials and insights about practices used in the Baha’ıfaith. My daughters Danielle and Amy expressed encouragement forthe book, and occasionally served as guinea pigs for a self-managementtechnique or suggested a new exercise or practice they had discoveredand found helpful.
To my wife, Dorothy Marcic,
For insisting that this book must be written and that
I was the only person who could write it, and for her
unrelenting encouragement to do so
PART ONE•
The Two Selves•
