The File 02

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A PERIODIC FOLIO OF IMAGES, STORIES AND OTHER DIVERSIONS MASTERFILE.COM / YOU AFRAID? / TALKING ABOUT LANGUAGECHARLIE FISH’S “DEATH BY SCRABBLE” / ARTIST ANITA CLARK

MF_thefile2_REV.indd 1MF_thefile2_REV.indd 1 7/31/07 6:48:47 PM7/31/07 6:48:47 PM

Masterfi le has a library of over 1,000,000 images, and it is still growing. But more importantly, it is a library that has been assembled with an experienced and criti-cal eye. We reject many more images than we accept. Our goal is to provide you with as many poignant and compelling images as possible, not to make you wade through a mountain of rejects that you would never consider. Because, ultimately you need to find the perfect image, the memorable image, the image that will resonate with your audience – the strategic image.

Some stock agencies have a vast number of images. But sheer numbers will not help you if you can’t find the ‘right’ image, the image that makes your creative come alive, the image that will sell your product – the strategic image.

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FICTION

BY CHARLIE FISH

DEATH BY SCRABBLE

We’re playing Scrabble. That’s how bad it is. I’m 42 years old, it’s a blistering hot Sunday afternoon and all I can think of to do with my life is to play Scrabble.

I should be out, doing exercise, spending money, meeting people. I don’t think I’ve spoken to anyone except my wife since Thursday morning. On Thursday morning I spoke to the milkman.

My letters are crap.I play, appropriately, BEGIN. With the N on the little pink star. Twenty-two points.I watch my wife’s smug expression as she rearranges her letters. Clack, clack, clack. I hate

her. If she wasn’t around, I’d be doing something interesting right now. I’d be climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I’d be starring in the latest Hollywood blockbuster. I’d be sailing the Vendée Globe on a 60-foot clipper called the New Horizons – I don’t know, but I’d be doing something.

She plays JINXED, with the J on a double-letter score. 30 points. She’s beating me already. Maybe I should kill her.




700-00795403© MASTERFILE



700-00616975© RUSSELL MONK


FICTION

CHARLIE FISH

CHARLIE FISH WAS BORN IN NEW YORK IN 1980, AND NOW LIVES IN SUNNY ENGLAND. HE HAS NEVER WON THE BOOKER PRIZE, THE NOBEL

PRIZE FOR LITERATURE OR AN OSCAR. HOWEVER, HE HAS BEEN WRITING SHORT STORIES, NOVELLAS AND SCREENPLAYS EVER SINCE

HE COULD HOLD A PEN. FIND MORE OF HIS WORK AT HIS WEBSITE, WWW.FICTIONONTHEWEB.CO.UK – THE LONGEST-RUNNING SHORT STORY

SITE ON THE INTERNET. HIRE HIM AT [email protected] AND MAYBE HE’LL GET THAT BOOKER.

If only I had a D, then I could play MURDER. That would be a sign. That would be permission.

I start chewing on my U. It’s a bad habit, I know. All the letters are frayed. I play WARMER for 22 points, mainly so I can keep chewing on my U.

As I’m picking new letters from the bag, I fi nd myself thinking – the letters will tell me what to do. If they spell out KILL, or STAB, or her name, or anything, I’ll do it right now. I’ll fi nish her off.

My rack spells MIHZPA. Plus the U in my mouth. Damn.The heat of the sun is pushing at me through the window. I can hear buzzing

insects outside. I hope they’re not bees. My cousin Harold swallowed a bee when he was nine, his throat swelled up and he died. I hope that if they are bees, they fl y into my wife’s throat.

She plays SWEATIER, using all her letters. 24 points plus a 50 point bonus. If it wasn’t too hot to move I would strangle her right now.

I am getting sweatier. It needs to rain, to clear the air. As soon as that thought crosses my mind, I fi nd a good word. HUMID on a double-word score, using the D of JINXED. The U makes a little splash of saliva when I put it down. Another 22 points. I hope she has lousy letters.

2

She tells me she has lousy letters. For some reason, I hate her more.She plays FAN, with the F on a double-letter, and gets up to fi ll the kettle and turn

on the air conditioning.It’s the hottest day for ten years and my wife is turning on the kettle. This is why

I hate my wife. I play ZAPS, with the Z doubled, and she gets a static shock off the air conditioning unit. I fi nd this remarkably satisfying.

She sits back down with a heavy sigh and starts fi ddling with her letters again. Clack clack. Clack clack. I feel a terrible rage build up inside me. Some inner poison slowly spreading through my limbs, and when it gets to my fi ngertips I am going to jump out of my chair, spilling the Scrabble tiles over the fl oor, and I am going to start hitting her again and again and again.

The rage gets to my fi ngertips and passes. My heart is beating. I’m sweating. I think my face actually twitches. Then I sigh, deeply, and sit back into my chair. The kettle starts whistling. As the whistle builds it makes me feel hotter.

She plays READY on a double-word for 18 points, then goes to pour herself a cup of tea. No I do not want one.

I steal a blank tile from the letter bag when she’s not looking, and throw back a V from my rack. She gives me a suspicious look. She sits back down with her cup of tea, making a cup-ring on the table, as I play an 8-letter word: CHEATING, using the A of READY. 64 points, including the 50-point bonus, which means I’m beating her now.

She asks me if I cheated.I really, really hate her.She plays IGNORE on the triple-word for 21 points. The score is 153 to her,

155 to me.

The steam rising from her cup of tea makes me feel hotter. I try to make murder-ous words with the letters on my rack, but the best I can do is SLEEP.

My wife sleeps all the time. She slept through an argument our next-door neigh-bors had that resulted in a broken door, a smashed TV and a Teletubby Lala doll with all the stuffi ng coming out. And then she bitched at me for being moody the next day from lack of sleep.

3

If only there was some way for me to get rid of her.I spot a chance to use all my letters. EXPLODES, using the X of JINXED. 72

points. That’ll show her.As I put the last letter down, there is a deafening bang and the air conditioning

unit fails.My heart is racing, but not from the shock of the bang. I don’t believe it – but it

can’t be a coincidence. The letters made it happen. I played the word EXPLODES, and it happened – the air conditioning unit exploded. And before, I played the word CHEATING when I cheated. And ZAP when my wife got the electric shock. The words are coming true. The letters are choosing their future. The whole game is – JINXED.

My wife plays SIGN, with the N on a triple-letter, for 10 points.I have to test this.I have to play something and see if it happens. Something unlikely, to prove that

the letters are making it happen. My rack is ABQYFWE. That doesn’t leave me with a lot of options. I start frantically chewing on the B.

I play FLY, using the L of EXPLODES. I sit back in my chair and close my eyes, waiting for the sensation of rising up from my chair. Waiting to fl y.

Stupid. I open my eyes, and there’s a fl y. An insect, buzzing around above the Scrabble board, surfi ng the thermals from the tepid cup of tea. That proves nothing. The fl y could have been there anyway.

I need to play something unambiguous. Something that cannot be misinterpreted. Something absolute and fi nal. Something terminal. Something murderous.

My wife plays CAUTION, using a blank tile for the N. 18 points.My rack is AQWEUK, plus the B in my mouth. I am awed by the power of the

letters, and frustrated that I cannot wield it. Maybe I should cheat again, and pick out the letters I need to spell SLASH or SLAY.

Then it hits me. The perfect word. A powerful, dangerous, terrible word.I play QUAKE for 19 points.I wonder if the strength of the quake will be proportionate to how many points it

scored. I can feel the trembling energy of potential in my veins. I am commanding fate. I am manipulating destiny.

My wife plays DEATH for 34 points, just as the room starts to shake.I gasp with surprise and vindication – and the B that I was chewing on gets

lodged in my throat. I try to cough. My face goes red, then blue. My throat swells. I draw blood clawing at my neck. The earthquake builds to a climax.

I fall to the fl oor. My wife just sits there, watching.




700-00043989

© ALBERT NORMANDIN

700-00179359© ZORAN MILICH

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700-00350297

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700-00609299© CHAD JOHNSTON

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700-01235580© ALBERT NORMANDIN


700-00606749© DARRELL LECORRE

700-00864883© MICHAEL MAHOVLICH


700-00363939© ANDREW KOLB


700-00093887© STEVE CRAFT

700-00317356© GAIL MOONEY

700-00150859

© ZORAN MILICH

700-01248890© STEVE PREZANT


When language began

The number of distinct words

in the English language

100,000

The number of living languages

TALKING NUMBERS

Language is one of the defi ning characters of our species, but we know virtually noth-ing about where it came from.

Linguists are calling for an online public database, similar to the human genome project, that would allow researchers

to collaboratively share different studies of language impairment.

By gathering together studies of developmental disorders that cause communication impairments – such as autism or

Down’s syndrome – they hope to provide new clues about the origins of language.

Such a database might also help treat language disorders or help people learn foreign tongues, they say.

Language is one of the defi ning characters of our species, but we know virtually nothing about where it came from.

“We have a lot of theories, but we don’t have a lot of data,” admits Gary Marcus at New York University, US.

UNIQUE COMPLEXITY

The biological basis of how people speak, listen and comprehend – and how all of this mental equipment evolved – is

largely mysterious. Researchers can study animals to gain insights into many psychological abilities, but this is not possible

with language as no animal communication systems are anywhere near as complex as ours.

“In short, we know it’s unique to humans and it evolved quickly,” says Marcus. We developed the skill after we split

from our last common ancestor – shared with chimpanzees – seven million years ago. Nevertheless, he says, language

probably evolved as recently as the last few hundred thousand years.

It has been diffi cult to gather data, but developmental studies could provide new clues, he believes. So-called knock-

out studies, where mice are genetically modifi ed to lack certain genes, have helped tease out the origin of certain mental

abilities and many genetic disorders.

Though such experiments are not ethically feasible in humans, detailed observational studies on people with naturally-

occurring genetic mutations related to language, could provide equivalent data, says Marcus.

A systematic collection of such studies would help us understand which parts of language share an origin with other

mental abilities and which parts have evolved independently.

COGNITIVE MOSAICS

For example, sufferers of William’s syndrome have diffi culty perceiving the world and understanding why things hap-

pen – yet they have near-normal linguistic abilities. On the other hand, autistic people have diffi culty understanding

what other people have on their minds, and this can also affect linguistic abilities, such as ability to learn the names

of objects.

Genetic disorders such as fragile-X syndrome and Down’s syndrome bestow a mosaic of cognitive and linguistic

impairment. One entire family missing a gene called FOXP2 has problems with many language skills such as grammati-

cal competence.

Research has been piecemeal until now, so Marcus and graduate student Hugh Rabagliati are calling for experts to

create a database collecting key data on developmental disorders and how they affect, or do not affect, cognitive and

linguistic abilities. They outline their proposal, which has similarities to the collaborative nature of the human genome

project, in the journal Nature Neuroscience.

The results could also help treat linguistic impairment and might hint at better ways for people to learn new languages,

Marcus says.

“Developmental disorders could help us pinpoint which genes are involved in language,” comments geneticist Simon

Fisher of Oxford University, UK, who was involved in the discovery of the FOXP2 gene. “They don’t recapture evolutionary

history, but they do give us clues as to the origins of different language traits.”

A public database would be “extremely valuable” in understanding the basis of language, he says, “and anything that

increases our understanding would also be helpful for targeting therapies.”

“The better we understand what language is, the better we understand ourselves,” says Marcus. NEW SCIENTIST MAGAZINE

POOL KNOWLEDGE TO FIND THE ORIGINS OF LANGUAGE

The most popular spoken languages. All fi gures

in millions.

874

514

496

425

275

256

215

194

176

129

A

SIGN LANGUAGE

LAN-GUAGE

MANDARIN CHINESE

ENGLISH

HINDUSTANI

SPANISH

RUSSIAN

ARABIC

BENGALI

PORTUGUESE

MALAY/INDONESIAN

FRENCH

THE FACTS

The number of living languages that

are nearly extinct

6912

516

INTERNET SLANG

ANFSCD

BTDTGTTSAWIO

CMIIW

DILLIGAD

GBCW

IMHO

IYKWIM

KISS

KTHXBYE

MYOB

OMFG

OTOH

PMSL

SCNR

T2UL

WUBU2

YOYO

And now for something completely different

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and wore it out

Correct me if I’m wrong

Does it look like I give a damn

Goodbye cruel world

In my humble opinion

If you know what I mean

Keep it simple stupid

OK, thanks, goodbye

Mind your own business

Oh my freaking God

On the other hand

Pissing myself laughing

Sorry could not resist

Talk to you later

What (have) you been up to

You’re on your own

The number of living languages

in Papua New Guinea, the most in

the world

45820 The number of letters in

pneumonoultramicroscopicsili-

covolcanoconiosis, the longest

word in the English language

The number of letters in Khmer,

the world’s largest alphabet

74

The number of languages the

Universal Declaration of Human

Rights has been translated into

250,000

321

BC


SLANG IS A LANGUAGE THAT ROLLS UP ITS SLEEVES, SPITS ON ITS HANDS, AND GOES TO WORK. CARL SANDBURG

B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

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700-01199207

© RUSSELL MONK



700-00080226© R. IAN LLOYD


WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?It is possible for an individual to develop a phobia over virtually anything. The name of a phobia generally contains a Greek word for whatever you fear plus the suffi x -phobia. Creating these terms is somewhat of a word game. Few of these terms are found in medical literature. However, this does not necessarily make it a non-psychological condition.

THE QUESTION




GlossophobiaFear of speaking in public.

Odontophobia Fear of dentists and dental procedures.

Radiophobia Fear of radiation or X-rays.

Tokophobia Fear of childbirth.

Emetophobia Fear of vomiting.

Musophobia Fear of mice and/or rats.

NyctophobiaFear of darkness.

Pyrophobia Fear of fi re.

TriskaidekaphobiaFear of the number 13.

CoulrophobiaFear of clowns.

TaphophobiaFear of being placed in a grave while still alive.

Gymnophobia Fear of nudity.

Ophidiophobia Fear of snakes.

Mysophobia Fear of germs,

contamination

or dirt.

ArachnophobiaFear of arachnids,

usually specifi c

to spiders.

AstraphobiaFear of thunder, lightning and storms.

Hoplophobia Fear of fi rearms.

Ligyrophobia Fear of loud noises.

AndrophobiaFear of males.

XenophobiaFear of strangers, foreigners, or aliens.

OrnithophobiaFear of birds.


OsmophobiaFear of smells.

700-00028935© DAVE ROBERTSON

700-00152245© MITCH TOBIAS

700-00178713© TOM FEILER

700-00095015

© MARK TOMALTY

700-00170380© GREG STOTT

700-01196223© PAUL KNIGHT

700-00285471© TSUYOI

700-00955648

© GRAHAM FRENCH

700-00089019© TSUYOI

700-00651476© STEVEN PUETZER

700-00007943© DOUGLAS E. WALKER

700-00429773© NATASHA V

700-00439263© ROMMEL

700-00041591© ROBERT KARPA

700-00426372© MIKE DOBEL

700-00284712© TOM FEILER

700-00194652© GARY RHIJNSBURGER

700-00911651

© MATTHIAS KULKA

700-00910224© MASTERFILE

700-01164968© MARK LEIBOWITZ

700-00378168

© DAVID MENDELSOHN

700-00150546© KEATE


FEATURED ARTIST

ANITA CLARKAnita’s passion for photography is obvious to anyone who knows her. She drags most of her friends and family into her images.

She has photographed her 70 year old father skinny dipping on a beach and her mother with a stocking over her head (which can

be seen on this page). Few escape including her photographer husband, Paul Wenham-Clarke, who she shot topless when he was

suffering from Chicken Pox.

Anita’s interest in photography started early at the age of seven. She even tried to develop her own color fi lm by pulling it out

of its cassette and running it under a cold tap! By the time she was 16 she had mastered the art of chemical processing and started

a college course in photography. She went on to study a BA in Photography and Digital Imaging at Berkshire College of Art and

Design. Her work was soon noticed when she was the Overall Winner of the Fuji Student Awards in 1997. After leaving art college

Anita assisted for four years during which time she worked with many leading Advertising photographers in London. In the AOP

Assistant Awards in 2001 Anita won a merit award for a series of very unusual images of people on glass.

Whether Anita is photographing people with their faces underwater or dinner ladies with forks in their hair, Anita is always looking

to do things differently.


700-01163978© ANITA CLARK






700-01196340

© ANITA CLARK


700-01163979

© ANITA CLARK


700-01236490

© ANITA CLARK






JUST SHOT


A huge fashion shoot with a cast of 50. We used three artists to capture different perspec-tives of the event: the runway, backstage preparations and models just hanging out.

These are a few images from ‘hanging out’.

700-01296583

© MASTERFILE

700-01296586

© MASTERFILE

700-01296582

© MASTERFILE



700-01296576

© MASTERFILE


PEOPLE’S CHOICE

Check out People’s Choice... it’s new.

People’s Choice is our newest search result algorithm. It ranks images by what visitors to our site think is interesting.

MASTERFILE.COM

PEOPLE’S CHOICEVS. EDITOR’S CHOICE



EDITOR’S CHOICE

Editors Choice option ranks images according to what our editors like.

The results can be very different for the same search so try both options and see which you like.

NEED HELP? GIVE US A CALL

1 800 387 9010

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Our researchers can do the work and prepare a custom

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Then we’ll e-mail a link so you can view the recommended

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