Page 1 of 14

The Hindu story of the first couple and

the first arranged marriages

Page 2 of 14

Dear All:

Recently, there was some discussion (in a different forum) about why the

bride's family is expected to bear the entire cost of the wedding and if

there is any scriptural basis for such (an unfair) practice. This brings us to

the topic of the very first marriages, which were "arranged" marriages, as

described in the Srimad Bhagavatam (SB).

After several failed attempts in his plans to populate all the lokas (as was

commanded by Bhagavan), Brahma, finally created the first human couple,

Swayambhoo (male) and Shataroopa (female). They started populating the

lokas (i.e., the worlds where different life forms are found), following what is

the known as Maithuna dharma (sexual reproduction). Mithuna refers to a

couple and Maithuna is the abstract form, like the words happy and

Page 3 of 14

happiness. The same term is used for the astrological sign for Gemini,

depicted by twins, or a couple.

This first couple, about whom sadly few Hindus know, is the Hindu

equivalent of Christian Adam and Eve. But unlike Eve, this couple sprang

entirely out of Brahma, both the male and the female. Brahma is also

known by the single syllable name "Ka". Since the couple emerged from

"Ka", the human body we all have is referred to, in Sanskrit, by the word

Kaayaa, which means that (yaa, means that) which was produced by "Ka",

or emerging from Brahma (Ka).

This first couple, produced on the very first day of Brahma's life (we are

now in the first day of the second half of Brahma's life, i.e., first day of

http://www.indiadivine.org/audarya/hinduism-forum/412895-lord-brahma-s-

life-span-chronological-order-eras.html

http://www.indiadivine.org/audarya/hare-krishna-forum/243741-brahmas-life-

span-context.html

"Those who have researched the Vedic scriptures in depth can calculate the

lifetime of Brahmä. Human beings count 365 days in their year, and the cycle of

four yugas comprises approximately 4,320,000 such years. A thousand cycles of

four yugas make up one day-time (twelve hours) of Lord Brahmä’s life. In this

way his month and year can be calculated, and Brahmä lives for a hundred years

of his time. But despite this vast life span—311 trillion 40 billion human

years—Lord Brahmä is a mortal being, and this universe created by him is also

perishable. Thus it is not strange that human beings, who are also his creation,

should perish. As human beings seem immortal to a tiny insect, so Lord Brahmä

and the demigods seem immortal to us. In fact, however, no material body of

any form is ever eternal." (extract from 'The Science of Devotion')

Page 4 of 14

Brahma's 51st year in the Brahma-lifespan of 100 Brahma-years), had

three daughters, Aakuti, Devahuti and Prasooti, and two sons. The sons

were named Priyavrata and Uttaanapaada. Of the three daughters,

Devahuti, the middle one, is the most renowned. She was given away in

marriage to the sage Kardama and this is described in detail Canto 3.

Aakuti was given in marriage to the sage Ruchi and Prasooti was married

to Daksha. Indeed, the progeny produced by Daksha's daughters (both

human and, yes, non-human as well), has populated the universe. Daksha

had 16 daughters with Prasooti (Canto 4, chapter 1, verse 47) and 60

daughters with another wife named Asikni (Canto 6, chapter 6, verse 1).

Notice the preponderance of female births during this period. Devahuti too

gave birth to nine daughters (in a single pregnancy!) and then gave birth to

a son. (So, Octomom does NOT hold the record for the number of babies

born in a single pregnancy!)

Bhagavan Himself was born as the son of Devahuti and Kardama and was

known as Kapila in that avatara. He instructed His mother Devahuti in

Sankhya yoga. This is the original Sankhya yoga, later also taught by

Krishna to Arjuna (in chapter 2 of the Bhagavad Gita). Devahuti and

Kardama's story is therefore described in some detail in Srimad

Bhagavatam (Canto 3, chapters 21 to 33). The instructions of Bhagavan, to

His mother Devahuti, are also referred to as Kapila Gita. Recently,

ISKCON has published a portion of Kapila Gita as a separate book.

Brahma ordered the sage Kardama to take up a wife and procreate. Having

been so ordered, the sage then started performing austerities on the banks

of the river Saraswati for 10,000 years, see also discussion in link below.

http://kinkari108.blogspot.com/2011/06/seeing-through-eyes-of-sastra.html

Bhagavan was pleased with Kardama's penances and appeared before the

sage and offered him a boon. When the sage dutifully asked that he

wanted a wife, the Srimad Bhagavatam states that Bhagavan shed a tear

from the corner of His eye. "So much penance and all this guy wants is a

wife, not moksha!" That seems to have been Bhagavan's reasoning to shed

Page 5 of 14

the tear. This tear shed by Bhagavan transformed into a huge lake, known

as Bindusarovar. The waters of Saraswati fill this lake and are the most

purifying of all, as sweet as nectar, and are relished by all Maharishis. The

lake’s surroundings are the most blissful of all.

After receiving blessings from Bhagavan Himself, the sage Kardama

continued his penance at the same place, awaiting the appointed time

when, as promised to him by Bhagavan, when he would be offered the

daughter of Swayambhoo Manu. At the same time, Swayambhoo Manu

also received instructions from Bhagavan that he should seek the sage

Kardama since he was the fitting husband for Devahuti. The celestial rishi,

Narada, also appeared in the Swaymabhoo household, and extolled

Kardama's virtues, and Devahuti fell in love with Kardama and wanted him

for her husband. So, Swayambhoo Manu finally appeared with his wife and

daughter at the ashrama (hermitage) of the sage.

Before revealing the purpose of his visit to sage Kardama's ashram,

Swayambhoo Manu offers his humble obeisances to the sage and in turn is

welcomed by the sage with all the honors due to an esteemed guest. The

preliminary conversation between the sage and Swayambhoo Manu is

worth recalling here, since here Swayambhoo Manu also speaks about the

description given in the Purusha Sooktam about how the different varnas

were created.

Here it is stated that the four varnas were created from the different limbs

of Brahma's body (Viraat shareera). Brahma himself praises Bhagavan

using the Purusha Sooktam (when all the devas, Lord Shiva and Brahma

visit Mahavishnu before Krishna's appearance) but in the latter case the

Viraat shareera must be Bhagavan's not Brahma's as stated in

Swayambhoo's Manu's version. The description of Bhagavan's Viraat

shareera is found in Canto 2 (chapter 6, verses 41 to 45), Canto 3 (chapter

6, verses 30 to 36 describe creation of varnas) and again in Kapila Gita

section of Canto 3, chapter 26, in the instructions of Bhagavan to

Devahuti.

Page 6 of 14

Swyambhoo Manu tells the sage Kardama, "Brahma, who is the very

embodiment of the Vedas (the Vedas were literally implanted into Brahma

by Bhagavan), created the Brahmanas like you from his face

(Brahmaasrujat swamukhato, verse2, chapter 12, canto 3) in order to

protect these divine revelations. That is only possible by those like you who

are the very treasure houses of tapas (austerities), vidya (knowledge),

yogas, and full detachment (vairagyam, but the word used is anala

lampataan). And, then, as if wanting to protect his own creation of this

divine embodiment of the Vedas, Brahma with his thousands of heads,

arms, eyes, legs, etc. decided to create us Kshatriyas as well from his

strong and mighty arms. And, so Brahmanas are also called the heart of

Brahma and the Kshatriyas as the very body of Brahma." (verse 3, chapter

12, canto 3).

"And, thus the different varnas are connected and related to the same body

and being connected to the same body, the real protector of all is

Bhagavan Sri Hari Himself. It is He who is manifested in all these forms

and yet remains untransformed (sadasadaatmakahaa). After being blessed

with your darshan (sight), I am now convinced of this eternal truth since you

spoke to me with such high praise of the duties of a king when you

welcomed me into your hermitage. It is clear to me that it is Bhagavan

Himself who is eager to protect dharma in everyway, through this."

Tava sandarshanaat evacchinnaah may sarva samshayaahaa l

Yat swayam Bhagavan preetyaa

dharmam aaha ririkshishoho ll 3.12.5 ll

These verses clearly describe, through the conversation of Swaymabhoo

Manu and the sage Kardama, the order that Bhagavan wanted in the lokas

when He created the different varnas (literally colors, or classes of people,

like using color codes to distinguish similar objects; in English we use the

“divisive” word castes). Each was meant to co-exist as co-equal and all

being in eternal connection with the Supreme Himself. It is indeed, sad, that

we have strayed so far in the 21st century from this ideal as described in

the Srimad Bhagavatam. In fact, Canto 3, chapter 6, verse 33 refers to the

Page 7 of 14

emotion called seva vrutti (the desire to serve the Lord, shushrooshaa). It

was created (born) from Bhagavan's feet for the siddhi (successful

accomplishment) of Dharma, and this in turn (i.e, from the quality known as

shushrooshaa) took the bodily form (tasyaam jaatah, tasyam refers to

shushrooshaa) as the Shudra varna.

Padbhyaam Bhagavato jagnye shushrooshaa dharma-siddhaye l

Tasyaam jaatah puraa shoodro

yadvrutyaa tushyate Harih ll 3.6.33 ll SB

Yete varNaah swadharmeNa yajatanti swagurm Harim l

Shraddhayaatma-vishudyartham

yajjaataah saha vruttibhihee ll 3.6.34 ll SB

The next verse 34, states that Bhagavan is thus pleased with the activities

of ALL the four varnas. Each recognizes the Lord Hari as their Guru, the

Master. Each is blessed with their own dharma (swadharma), or prescribed

activities. The discharge of each one's swadharama is extremely cleansing

and purifying and is to be engaged with great devotion. What this also

means is that those who simply serve, or become servants, are also

blessed by Bhagavan with the quality known as devotion. Most servants,

especially those we call trusted servants, feel an intense sense of loyalty to

their superiors. This is how all four varnas also develop the feeling of

devotion, when they understand that they are serving the Lord, have

become His servants! Dasoham, Dasaanudasan, say the devout.

Before offering his daughter in marriage, Swayambhoo Manu, fully aware

that he is addressing a sage (who has performed great austerities and has

no desires of any kind and certainly no lust in his heart), points out to the

sage Kardama the following.

"When an object of desire (udyatasya hi kaamasya) presents itself, there is

no question of debating about it. Such an argument is not worthy of any

praise. (In other words, one should accept and enjoy the object of desire.)

One who rejects such an opportunity when presented and then goes about

Page 8 of 14

begging for it elsewhere, becomes disgraced, loses all of his glories and is

scorned. Obviously, such a situation cannot even arise with a honored

sage like yourself who is free of all attachments."

Swayambhoo Manu is very skilfully preventing the sage Kardama from

rejecting his offer of the daughter in marriage by pointing out that the sage

is being presented with the opportunity to enjoy an object of desire and he

should not reject it. Indeed, rejecting such an offer would itself be contrary

to the principle of freedom from any type of attachments! Rejection would

imply the sage is attached to something else (tapas) and finds that (his

tapas and austerities) more attractive. A very clever argument indeed to

force Kardama to accept his daughter and enter into married life.

The words used by Swayambhoo Manu in this context, when he offers

Devahuti in marriage are also exactly the words used in Valmiki’s

Ramayana, when Janaka offers his daughter Seeta to Rama.

Tat prateeccha dwijaagra yemaam .... (verse 11, chapter 12, canto 3) while

Janaka says, "Prateechchainaam bhadram te..." Janaka says that Seeta

will be a fitting wife who will help you fulfill all your dharmas. Swayambhoo

says, his daughter is well versed and will take care of your household and

is wholly and fully a perfect soulmate for you (sarvaatma roopaa).

Needless to say, the sage Kardama, without any hesitation, accepts the

offer of the beautiful daughter in marriage. She praises her beauty and

considers himself to be blessed to have her offered to him in marriage

since her beauty was so ravishing that many celestials wanted to marry

her. She is so beautiful, Kardama says, that even ornaments feel ashamed

and fall off her body unable to adorn her. Who is it who will say so to such a

daughter of yours. I shall wed her following the highest of the marriage

rituals prescribed (of the eight types of marriage, the Braahma marriage is

what Kardama is referring to, where a daughter is offered by the parents to

a fitting groom).

Page 9 of 14

Now, comes the so-called "dowry" part.

After accepting the offer of marriage, the sage Kardama became very quiet

and his mind and heat were filled with devotion for the Lord. He was

envisioning the Lord's smiling countenance (as when He appeared before

when He asked to be blessed with a wife - prasanna vadanam, here the

word used is smitashobita, One whose face is adorned with a beautiful

smile).

Not only that, in his heart the sage Kardama also envisioned Devahuti and

her beautiful countenance and enjoyed the feeling with all his self - lulubhe

Devahootyaah. Both the Lord's countenance and Devahuti's countenance

were together merged in Kardama's heart!

Swayambhoo Manu was accompanied by his Queen Shataroopa and his

daughter. He could see that they were both fully prepared to accept the

proposal of marriage made by to Kardama. (In a different canto, where the

same marriage is described, Swayambhoo, it is mentioned, consulted

Shataroopa and asked her opinion, since Kardama was a sage who liked to

perform austerities and would eventually leave their daughter and become

a sage again. So, he wanted to make sure that the proposal of giving

Devahuti to Kardama was agreeable to his queen. Indian marriages, or

Hindu marriages, have very many subtleties that are not fully appreciated

by the uninformed! Immense power is wielded by the wife in the marriage.)

After ensuring their full consent, of both his daughter and the mother,

Swayambhoo offered his daughter to Kardama.

The Maharani Shataroopa was overjoyed and bestowed upon her own

daughter and her son-in-law many gifts and great wealth (Mahaa dhanaan).

She showered them with all kinds of extremely expensive ornaments and

dresses (bhooshaavaasaah) and other gifts fitting a household.

And thus, began the joyful custom of giving what has now come to be

known as the dowry by the bride's family when a daughter is given away in

Page 10 of 14

marriage. It was a joyful giving. It was what a mother wanted for her

daughter. It was never meant to be what it has become today.

Why don't we understand this? Unfortunately, few Hindus even know this

story. Everyone knows Adam and Eve but not even a handful have heard

about Swayambhoo and Shataroopa and their sons and daughters. Yes,

they also had two sons but this the story of their daughter and among the

first of the arranged marriages as described in our scriptures.

It should also be mentioned here that it was the father Swayambhoo Manu

who was overcome with emotion and started shedding tears profusely. He

could not bear the thought of separation from his daughter. He held her in

his arms and started crying so much so that her hair got wet and was fully

soaked with his tears (verse 24, chapter 6, Canto 3). An exactly similar

description of a father’s sorrowful parting away from his daughter is given

by Kalidasa in his most beautiful play Abhigyana Shakuntalam. The most

beautiful act in this drama (the fourth act) starts with the sloka expressing

the sorrow of the sage (Kanva) who had raised Shakuntala as his own

daughter (biological daughter of Vishwamitra born when the sage was

seduced by the apsara Menaka, who was sent by Indra to disturb the

latter’s penances).

Finally, there is another beautiful sloka that begins the description of the

married life of Devahuti and Kardmana, which should be recalled. After

offering her hand in marriage, and after her parents had departed from the

ashrama of the sage, Devahuti started serving her husband (who reverted

back to his mode of tapasya and austerities) with great devotion. She did

not need any instructions about what needed to be done at any time. She

expertly understood what her husband wanted at every moment, just from

his gestures (ingita kovidaa). He followed him everywhere (paryacarat),

and served him daily with great joy (nityam preetyaa). How well did she

serve her husband? Devahuti is now given the ultimate in compliments.

Devahuti served Kardama like (iva) Bhavani (Parvati) served Her Lord

(Prabhu) Bhava (Shiva).

Page 11 of 14

Pritrubhyaam prastithe saadhvee patimingita kovidaa l

Nityam paryacarat preetyaa

Bhavaneeva Bhavam Prabhum ll 3.13.1ll SB

Bhavaneeva Bhavam Prabhum. This is the ideal relationship between

husband and wife - the ideal married relationship - as envisioned in the

Srimad Bhagavatam. All devout Vaishnavites should remember this

statement from the Srimad Bhagavatam.

There are obviously many interesting lessons to be learned from this story

of the first (of three) arranged marriages (of Swaymabhoon and

Shataroopa’s three daughters) described in the Hindu scripture. I usually

do not like to dwell upon “preachy” things but will make an exception here.

Page 12 of 14

1. The name of the first couple – Swayambhoo and Shataroopa.

Every Hindu should know these names, just like everyone knows

Adam and Eve.

2. Every family seeks a husband for their daughter. Somewhere

along the way this too got turned around, with daughters to be sought

for sons. The sons were supposed to focus on their education and

spiritual advancement without developing any kamas, i.e., desire

for married life. The future groom after he returns from the

gurukulam (where he learns from a guru) is so disenchanted with his

own parental home that he wants to go away for spiritual pursuits. It

is the bride’s parents who throw a curve ball into this plan by

interceding and offering their daughter in marriage. He is then

instantly overcome by kama (lust) and agrees to the proposal.

This is the significance of the enactment of the practice of Kashi

yatra, still followed at least in Tamil Brahmin weddings. Even Lord

Shiva, who is called Kameshwara, could not resist the charms of

Mohini, even with Parvati seated next to him, according to the Srimad

Bhagavatam.

Since Shiva had consumed the poison known as Haalaahala (which

was extracted from the milk ocean before amrutam), he did not see

Mohini, the female incarnation of Mahavishnu, created to delude the

asuras (demons) and ensure that only the devas (the gods) got the

amrutam (nectar, ambrosia). So, Shiva wanted Mahavishnu to reveal

that form once again to him. When Mohini reappeared, she was so

seductive that, according to the Srimad Bhagavatam, Shiva ran after

Mohini like a bull in heat.

Please, do not get offended by such statements which come straight

from the scriptures. Recognizing them in their entirety, without false

embellishments, or pseudo-morals, actually helps us overcome our

kamas.

Page 13 of 14

3. What is called dowry is the gift bestowed upon willingly by the

mother upon her daughter. We must understand and correct some of

the modern oppressive practices since this is contrary to dharma.

4. The ideal married partnership is described here as the one

between Shiva and Parvati. All Vaishnavites should remember this

as well, not just Rukmini and Krishna, or Satyabhama and Krishna, or

Mahalakshmi and Narayana.

5. The origin of the four castes, with caste becoming a highly charged

and divisive term, is completely misunderstood. Swayambhoon

Manu describes this relationship beautifully and mentions that all the

varnas (colors, like color coding similar objects to distinguish them, all

are equal, same, is what is implied by the Sanskrit word varna) are

part of the Lord. Everyone is serving the Lord to ensure the

establishment of dharma. Each varna practices its own swadharma.

The desire to serve (shushrooshaa) sprang from the feet of the Lord

and this desire is what in turn transformed into (i.e., took bodily form)

as the Shudra varna.

6. No man should refuse the advances of a woman, or refuse the hand

of a woman who is offered in marriage. This is also mentioned in the

story of Diti and Kashyapa. The sage Kashyapa, who was engaged in

his evening prayers when Diti was overcome with lust, at first refused

her advances and begged her to control her desire to unite with him,

since the time was inappropriate. The sage knew this from his divine

vision. But, when she persisted, he relented, stating that a woman’s

advances should never be refused, especially by a Brahmana. (Does

the reverse also apply? Ah, there goes another controversial topic,

indeed the controversy of all controversies!)

7. The story also tells us how, according to Hindu scriptures, the world

is populated (after Brahma creates the first couple). The daughters

produced by the first couple are married to sages like Ruchi and

Kardama, the Prajapatis, who are created independently of Brahma’s

Page 14 of 14

creation. At the end of each kalpa, the higher lokas where the rishis

and other higher forms of celestials reside (Maha, Jana, Tapa, Satya)

are not destroyed.

Very sincerely

V. Laxmanan

September 6, 2011