Table of Contents

Introduction – Pg 2Dedication – Pg 3

Favorite Quotes and Lyrics – Pg 4Shattered – Pg 5

Doctor, Tell Me – Pg 7One Last Letter – Pg 9

The Penny – Pg 11Ditzy Girl – Pg 12Skylark – Pg 14Today – Pg 15Hidden – Pg 16

Help Me – Pg 17Aching – Pg 19Scratch – Pg 20

Heartless Love – Pg 22Beautiful You – Pg 23

Very first song I wrote (Visions) – Pg 25Special Thanks – Pg 26After Thought – Pg 27

About the Author – Pg 28

1

Introduction

I guess some could look at this as a growing up stage. Some could see this as me, as a fifteen year old girl who’s been striving and driving toward something but is struggling with it. A lot of my heart goes into one lyric let alone a whole song. All of these lyrics that I write have a meaning and something behind it.Some of these portray my views on life, my struggles, my joys, and a mix of in differential story telling. I believe that in writing, there is always something going on in between the lines that make your readers or listener’s discern or figure out. If this is going to happen with my own lyrics, then I may presume my job has been well done. But at the same time that part isn’t my job, this is my heart and my life that happens to go into words.If someone is able to relate, or understand, or see some things then make this book forever yours. In one-way or another I’m here for you whether through my lyrics, or my songs and covers.Please also understand again that this is from the heart of a fifteen year old, its not some golden masterpiece that should be displayed or won for a Grammy. I don’t mean or wish for that. I wish for someone to see who I am, and see what my passions and desire’s are.I have titled this ‘The Girl with the Ponytail’ for a reason. Because I am the girl with the ponytail, and I am me!If you are reading this, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart! It means so very much to me!!

2

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all of my auburnics!

I was randomly joking with a friend once, and I said: “I would love to be able to call my supporters, listeners, and I guess my fans my ‘auburnics.’ I wouldn’t mind having a name for them, they are so special to me!”My friend loved that idea, and she suddenly out of no where on me spread the word in an online post saying: “Please if you love Rachael Auburn, you are all automatically her auburnics.”Quite a few people in fact responded to that and said “I’m one, I’m one, count me in!”So today I am now calling all of my supporters and fans my auburnics!You guys are so amazing to me, so this book is dedicated to you!!

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My Favorite Quotes and Lyric’s

Stumbling and falling is better than crawling~Rachael Auburn

Behind every beautiful thing, there is some kind of pain.~Bob Dylan

There are a thousand reasons to smile, pick one and smile!~Alaya Barnett

A million years or a million tears, just be okay~Peter Merritt – Be Okay

Now I am a warrior, I’ve got thicker skin, and I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.

~Demi Lovato – Warrior

4

Shattered

One day we muststitch our broken seams,

and walk down that lonely road of dreams.

In our wretched despair,we all know what it means.

Those drops of blood,hit the ground,

like crystal tears,of woe wrapped around,

a soul of driven pain,lost and never found.

Pre chorusShattered dreams left to the dust,

the broken hearts never to find any love,and the mirrors of the past turn to rust.

ChorusShat-ter-ed like a window,

Shat-ter-ed like the winds blow, Woe-oh-oh, this life can be so shattered, oh so shat-ter-ed!

In hopes of release,we draw the curtians,only to find darkness,pursuing the burden.we are left drowning,

while the beast is hurtin.

5

Hanging by a chain,gazing at these desires,

and crying a bitter destiny.All those broken empires,

built upon passion,now found in raging fires.Repeat Pre- and Chorus

6

Doctor, Tell Me.

Its not the first nor the last time I have seen you.

I've been scared one way or anotherin everything you do.

But as all things must be faced,you are one of them

Who needs to know about the painthat no one can fathom.

Main

I'm here today,to break away,from yesterday,

and I'll stay,till I get my way.

Doctor, Doctor, tell me -Tell me everything’s fine,tell me its all on my mind.

Doctor, Doctor, You best stop what your doing,because I can't handle anymore.

Just give me some kindof hope.

And don't let me dangleby your rope.

You test your needle by the light,and feel along my dried up vein.

7

Its happened time after time,until you've driven me insane.

You handed me the delusionthat I needed you.

And pills aren't the solutionto making me happily new.

Main

I'm here today,to break away,from yesterday,

and I'll stay,till I get my way.

Doctor, Doctor, tell me -Tell me everything’s fine,tell me its all on my mind.

Doctor, Doctor, You best stop what your doing,because I can't handle anymore.

Just give me some kindof hope.

And don't let me dangleby your rope.

You've stolen everything I ever had,and know I can't take any of it back.

You've caused my desperation,and now you wanna put me on medication.

Repeat Main 8

One Last Letter

We hugged, we kissed, we cried, And then you were gone.

Something had stolen you at the beginningof dawn.

The wind had goodbye on the tip of its tongue,And it was the only word I had ever sung.

But then I realized, Daddy had gone to war.Never seen him so bold before.

Chorus

Just write me one last letter, telling me your fine.Something to make me feel better and make hope mine,

Its hard to let you go,When wanting you is all I know.

I may not see you in foreverSo please just write me one last letter.

2 nd Verse

I would love to see that beautiful writing of yours.

Saying ‘goodbye dear’ as yourvery last words.

I know I would cry, but at least there’s memory

that I can hold in my handsand bury away inside of me.

9

In my life, I’ve never loved you more.Even with a heart so sore.

Repeat Chorus

10

The Penny

Those old and fading pants,Washed to many times.

The pocket begging handsHidden all to often.

The machine gun fires,And the war rages.One man’s desire

Is found in his pocket.

Tears with the dirt and grime,Always matched with pain.

Fiddling to pass the timeAnd awaiting a release.

He writes a small noteIn the twilight eveningWearing his green coatSitting beside the fire

Sealing his letter upHe lay’s down

And looks up aboveAt the stars and moon.

Reaching into his pocketHe grabs one thing.

His girl’s golden locketWith a penny inside.

The lil’ coin so roundIs his last memory

Of his girl with eyes so brown.

11

Ditzy Girl

There’s a house painted green.There’s a girl who can’t be seen.

Yeah, she’s always looking out of windows,Watching the way the wind blows.

There doesn’t seem to be a thing on her mind tonight.

Yet she’s always day dreaming whenEveryone’s outa sight.

Pre-Chorus

I think I know her, She’s always insideDoing things at the

wrong time.

Main

I’m a ditzy girl, with my hair all curledAnd I’m always thinking:

Black is white, and white is black.Left is right, and right is left.

Sometimes I gotta ask myself –Man, man, whats going on with my brain

I must be going insaneBut I’m just a ditzy girl that’s all.

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2 nd Verse

She’s got that young heartFly away like a walk in the park.

Momma said clean off the tableShe said, maybe when she was able.

It stayed dirty for two days.She finally decided to fix her ways.

Repeat Pre Chorus and Main

13

Skylark

Its another day, and its another nightof sitting and listening to you.

By the apple tree and under the starlight, your presence is always found.

Your hiding up above where I can't reach,looking down at the world below.

I can hear your faraway call from the beach,painting echo's within my mind.

ChorusOh songbird, sing me a skylark,

and bring some light into the dark.Because your beautiful, 

and your musical.Sing to me, when I am not home,

when I am alone. Sing to me,and be the skylark that you are.

2 nd Verse There you are like an eagle in the sky,

spreading your wings like a dove.Can you see me from up high,

as a lost child following its only guide.

I yearn to be as free as you are,and ride on your back forever.But I can only look from afar,

and listen to your melody.

Repeat Chorus14

Today

Raindrops are pouring down my faceAnd an icy wind is blowing me away

Into a town as muddy as my soulNever changing, never seeing, never letting go.

Two different worlds against each otherShamelessly fighting for the wrong color.

To much , to soon, can’t give up now.I can break away, just show me how.

Chorus

Yesterday is old, Today is new,Seems so cold,

But I’ll get through.There’s the bridge

And there’s the dayCalled tomorrow

I can deal with today But I don’t know about tomorrow.

Today has enough troubles of its own,So why do I worry about tomorrow?I don’t know, I really don’t know.

2 nd Verse

Its like riding miles without anyoneBeing dark without ever seeing the sun.Something inside of me keeps lighting

Don’t know why, but I feel like fighting.

Repeat Chorus

15

Hidden

Do you know what it feels like to be confined?With every definition unexplained and undefined.Do you feel the pain that comes with pouring rain?

Tell me, do you ever feel the same?Oh tell me, do you?

Always locked up in a systemHave you ever felt this dumb?

Chorus

But someday –Every song, every story, every breath

Won’t be hidden no more.All the wrong, all the worry, that caveth

Won’t be hidden no more.Oh no, won’t be hidden no more!

2 nd Verse

Have you ever got so boredWith not being able to say a word?Have you ever had a face in yours?Have you ever slammed the doors?

Because of rebellion, because of anger,Because of a million fingers.

Would you ever see,Yes, no, or maybe?

Repeat Chorus

16

Help Me

Standing in a lonely desertWatching the edges of my mind.

Walking through a storm called nothingWith no shadow left behind.

Always waiting for something to healFor the waters to become clear.

Struggling to see myself as anythingBehind blurred signs and mirrors.

Chorus

Somebody help me.I’m a little alone,

Don’t know where to go.The wind is blowing me away

Till I have nothing to say.Ooh, can you help me,Just a little, just a little.

2nd Verse

A little numbA little dumb

To realizeAll the lies

Weren’t true

Being one Isn’t fun

When sighsTurn to cries

Over you.

17

A little time to take away, A little light to breakaway

From it all.

Repeat Chorus

18

Aching

Mama, I can’t be little anymore.Daddy, I have to open the door.Can you see the star in the skyCallin’ my name from up high?

Can you hear the rain overheadBegging me out to get wet?

The birds are chirping far awayTelling me to sing on the bay.

Chorus

Oooh, can you hear these thingsOr is it just me

Dreaming up in the tree?

I’m aching to break free from this cage.I’m aching to get away from this burning rage.

I’m aching to see the world before it passes away.

2 nd Verse

Will you always see me as a little girlOr more so like a very little squirrel?

Always begging without you knowingAnd realizing every chance is going.

It hurts so much to breathA pain that no can relieve.

The lamplight that is getting smallerIs painfully making me grow taller.

Repeat Chorus19

Scratch

The pale shades of timeFluttering distinctly on the walls.Feel this palpating heart of mine

Against the grey world.

Splinters of grace in a white roomSo hard to hide and to seek.

The dawn is breaking so soonAnd they have come at last…

The girl in black,The boy in blue.Walking the path

Toward the room...

Main

Opening, opening, the door and the skinTo the old and the new.

Hoping, hoping, they’ll see againAnd get a clue…

That every scratch needs a patch,And every hole needs a soul.

2 nd Verse

The light is suddenly goneAlong with the winds breath.

The voice you hear in this songIs begging and pleading.

20

The earth that spinsWon’t hear every single thing.

The day that begin’sKnows one story of many.

The girl in blackThe boy in blueWalking backNothing new

Repeat Main

21

Heartless Love

Everyday I look the window,Cars pass, and the world will go.

Somewhere in this city, in this townYou are about and walking around.

You painted stars and dimensionsAlways expected me to believe your inventions

Made promises that you never kept,Always were the reason I never slept.

Chorus

How can you love with heartless love?A million miles and your still blind

To this heartless love.So close your still signed

To this heartless love.How can you love with heartless love?

2 nd Verse

When I was crying and all aloneYou would just sit there cold as stone.

You’d never talk, you wouldn’t help meDriving me toward blinding reality.

Back and forth isn’t the game,When I’d really wish to forget your name.

Emotions astray and out of lineCan’t handle this wasting of time.

Repeat Chorus.

22

Beautiful You

Everybody’s got some type of issue,Sayin a lot, got nothing much to wish you.

That shouldn’t be aSurprise

With all those stupidLil’ lies.

Nobody seems to like anything you do,Wrong or right they’ll come chasin’ after you.

Blamed and criticized,Confused and paralyzed.

ChorusThey will push you down,

But you gotta get up off that ground.Save yourself before its to late,

Forget everybody else and their hate.Stand tall, spread your wings.

And see what it brings.Be beautiful you-ou-ou-ouBe beautiful you-ou-ou-ou

Beautiful you.

2 nd Verse

Cross your ‘t’s, dot your ‘i’s.Pay the bully fee’s, accept the lies.

Nothings ever enoughFor those who make it

Rough.

23

The world is cheap with its words.Trust it to keep nothing of yours.

One deadly infectionA haunted rejection.

Repeat Chorus

24

The very first song I wrote

Visions

Sitting out on a summer day…There’s an image that blocks the sun ray.

I see it passin before my eyes.Could be my enemy or an angel in disguise

I remember searching for a keyTo the moments that can be so happy and free.

Visions dark and brightShadow out of sight

Like an old dream already come true,Much to learn from yet so few.

This is super short, but I remember the first time I wrote it, what was behind it, and even though it’s short it still holds something for

me.

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Special Thanks

I would like give a special thanks to my two friends who have been there for me thick and through no matter what. Peter Merritt, and Alaya Barnett. They have been my encouragement, my inspiration, and my life pretty much. They have built me up when I was down; they have applauded my improvements, my growing, my life. They understand everything better than anyone else I know, they have made me realize the meaning of true friendship. I’d also like to thank my Dad for always teaching me the lesson of staying strong even in the hardest times, how to not give up, also for teaching me between right and wrong, and pretty much for being the most amazing Dad in the world.And I’d also like to thank ‘life’ for giving me a lot to deal with. As odd as it sounds, all of the things that I’ve dealt with, or gone through its stuff like that, that becomes the teaching and the lesson to mold me into what I am supposed to be.Also a special thanks to my auburnics who are such amazing support and cheer me up a lot. Who have helped me realize that following your dreams is a goal to always keep, and to never give up!

26

After Thought

One of my favorite set of lyric’s that I’ve written I think would be ‘Scratch’ and also ‘Beautiful You.’Scratch is kind of a story in disguise. It starts off kind of thought-ful and peaceful in a way. But what its really building up to is yes the obvious point a ‘scratch.’ The whole meaning behind it though, is that life can be one big scratch. There is so much wrong, there is so much that goes unseen, there is so much that we have to cope with in life. And so if you look closely at the part “The girl in black, the boy in blue, walking the path, toward the room” I had the image in mind of a literal doctor and nurse walking down the hall towards the ‘patients’ room and getting ready to examine this ‘scratch’ But they end up not being able to do one thing about it. They can’t cure it, they can’t give it medicine’s, they can’t do anything about it, it just sits there somewhat scarred, opened or unopened. The main point, is realizing in life that there is so much wrong and trying to get through it and trying to help others relieve that ‘scar’ or that ‘scratch.’Beautiful You is one of my favorites, because its talking of what the world thinks of you. How the world sees you as, and how anything and everything that you do they aren’t happy with. The point to be grasped there is that you need to not heed them. You need to be how you were born to be, and not change yourself for someone and be beautiful you!One thing is for sure, through both of these set’s of lyric’s there is the idea of not giving up on anything at all. If you are trying to follow a dream, trying to stay strong for someone else, trying to help someone out who’s having trouble…whatever the case is. You need to know that you are NEVER alone and you shouldn’t give up! Life isn’t about giving up, it is about trying. And staying strong as well.There is someone out there that loves you, and cares about you, so when you get to realize this pass that on to others!

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About the Author

Rachael Auburn was born in 1999, and is the author of her eldest novel ‘Cassandra’ which is mainly a children’s story, but ‘regular living of life’ as she calls it is still portrayed fairly well. She had started writing poems at the age of seven, and started singing at the age of nine.Twelve and thirteen years old were the time lines for her, when she started to see some things, realize her dream, and seeking diligently towards what she loves the most.Singing has been a passion for Rachael. It was the thing that she ran to the most in her times of need when getting through severe bullying, and many other things. She also vented out a lot of things through lyrics and poems; thus the reason for this book.Her biggest goal right now is if she won’t be able to make it to her dream, is to make others happy in any way that she can.

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