The Matchmaker of theCentury

Hellen Chen

The Matchmaker of the Century

  The Matchmaker of the Centurywww.MatchmakerOfTheCentury.com Author Hellen ChenEditor Pia Liu

Ging LeeArt Editor Terry WangTranslator Sophia HuangCollation Yin Chew

First EditionPublished in Taiwan by Creative Creation Publications,Inc. P.O. Box 118-322 TaipeiTaipei City 10599 Taiwan (R.O.C.)

  ISBN 978-986-84419-0-3 Copyright© 2011 Creative Creation PublicationsALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Contents

Chapter 1 ............................................................................................. 5

The Taste of True Freedom After Getting Married .............. 6

No Reason is Required for Getting Married ..........................11

Why Do You Have No Desire to Get Married? .....................15

It’s Wonderful to be Married, Fun

Comes With Your Dedication ................................................19

Chapter 2 ........................................................................................... 26

I Understand Your Romantic Dream .....................................27

Going Through the Journey to Make

Your Dream Come True .......................................................31

Open your Mind, the Possibilities are Endless .................... 34

Chapter 3 ........................................................................................... 38

Love and Romance Come After the Marriage .....................39

A Happy Marriage is Not Just a Dream ...............................49

The Prince’s and Princess’ Happily-Ever After .....................57

Help Me, Help You ..............................................................62

Even if There is No Blessing,

I’ll Still Pursue My Happiness ..............................................74

This Second Marriage Makes Me Complete ........................79

‘Mission Impossible’ Miraculously Accomplished ................85

Future Happiness? Let’s Pursue it Together! ........................92

Getting Married is After All Better

Than Not Getting Married .................................................103

A Rocky Love Road, a Happy Ending ...............................109

Lovers Eventually Found Their Dreams .............................115

Marriage Opens Up the Dynamics of Life .........................123

The Happiness of Marriage is Beyond Words ....................128

When Dreams Come True. . . ............................................133

Chapter 4 ..........................................................................................141

My Daughter – A Diligent Matchmaker ............................142

Notes on Memorable Weddings .........................................149

A Precious Super Matchmaker ...........................................159

Chapter 5 ..........................................................................................167

The Adventure of Finding Your True Love ........................168

The Art of Matchmaking ...................................................176

Maxim: Love is Stronger than Gold...................................180

Appendix .......................................................................................... 184

If Your Marriage is Not Good,

Your Life Will Never be Truly Good

 

2

This is indeed very interesting. For human beings, spouses are their most intimate friends. No one can be more intimate. A bad marriage is caused by a bad relationship with the spouse, and a bad relationship with the spouse designates a bad interpersonal relationship with others. However, most people would deny such a statement. They would say, “This is impossible! I’m fine with everyone else. Just my wife and I don’t get along.” It may sound quite right. But the reality is far from that. Getting along with other people is just that -- getting along -- on the surface. You still maintain a certain distance from these close friends. And as you attempt to get closer and more intimate with these people, problems will crop up. Therefore, to a certain degree, such an interpersonal relationship only looks good on the outside, or it is maintained because of work, or mutual interests – regardless, this closeness is temporary. This good relationship is centered around actions or things to do, rather than centered around people. On the contrary, the relationship between a married couple is a firm and real coming together of two persons. If the way you maintain a relationship with your spouse is of sufficient maturity, harmony and honesty, your relationship with others will also be more sound and complete. Basically I think the constant polishing and training of relationship skills in a marriage sets the stage for a smooth interpersonal relationship with others. If the husband and the wife can get along with each other very well, respect and are open with each other, they will find it just as easy and comfortable in their relationships with others. Thus, there will be better accomplishments in the workplace; life will be much easier, stable and brighter. Therefore, I also believe that an excellent CEO, senior officer or manager, must also have a good relationship with his or her spouse. 

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Following this argument, many people will start to feel worried. Some people become ‘super woman’ or business icons, yet their marriages are miserable. So they are not going to agree with me. In addition, associates of these top executives would often attest to their career successes and their good people skills, work skills, their niceness, maturity, patience, etc. Nevertheless, the ‘holes’ in the marriages are still there and still need mending. The real problems in their married life are only known to them. This is both a very interesting concept and also a challenging test. Although to a certain degree, society’s standards do not require that couples should have a good relationship and some people also may not agree nor think it is necessary, it is however indeed an important criterion. Domestic bliss is not achieved with the use of force or command; it is based on the establishment of a good interpersonal relationship between husband and wife. The method of how to get along well in a husband-and-wife relationship is also the foundation of good conduct as an individual. If a person decides not to marry, that means he or she is incapable of dealing with these types of interpersonal relationships; cannot confront and also has little interest towards this aspect. This is like the old Chinese saying, “Self-refinement comes before domestic harmony; domestic harmony comes before national order; and national order comes before world peace.” Another Chinese saying talks about one of a person’s accomplishment in life is the establishment of a home (family) first and then establishment of a career. In this case, the establishment of a home still comes before the building of a career. A non-establishment of a home also means that one has a harder time to establish one’s career. If you insist to go out of sequence, missing this bridge or step, how could you continue your course upward? Even if you succeed in skipping this step and get across, the missing gap remains. It is only a matter of the gap being ‘known’ to people or ‘not know.’

Nevertheless the existence of this missing gap is undeniable.

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 Not wanting to get married is due to having no ability to truly be with and to face another person. However, there are only two types of people in this world: men and women. We must learn how to know, and understand the other type. But how do you get to know the opposite sex? The best way is to get married – this is a type of learning. One should learn how to truly get along with another person, then one can comfortably face oneself; at the same time truly understand the world of two persons. I can only share this idea with those who have the heart, and who really want to improve their lives. And only if you are truly in pursuit of happiness and willing to explore life itself, can you be fully awake and fully confront.   

CEO of Heart Bridge Consulting Company

The Matchmaker of the Century 7

If Your Marriage is Not Good, Your Life Will Never Be Truly Good

It is only a matter of the gap being ‘known’ to people or ‘not know.’Nevertheless the existence of this missing gap is undeniable.

Not wanting to get married is due to having no ability to truly be with and to face another person.

However, there are only two types of people in this world: men and women. We must learn how to know, and understand the other type. But how do you get to know the opposite sex? The best wayis to get married – this is a type of learning. One should learn how to truly get along with another person, then one can comfortablyface oneself; at the same time truly understand the world of twopersons.

I can only share this idea with those who have the heart, and who really want to improve their lives. And only if you are truly in pursuit of happiness and willing to explore life itself, can you be fully awake and fully confront.

CEO of Heart Bridge Consulting Company

Chapter 1

Another Beginning in Life

It’s So Good to be Married!

  

Hellen Chen 

6

The Taste of True Freedom After Getting Married

My husband FuShing and I, began to experience the taste of true freedom after getting married. Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not the ending nor the death of romance and love. And it is also not about the wife spending apathetic days in the kitchen. FuShing and I revel in our marriage, and fully enjoy the world of two persons. Every day we have countless things to share with each other, often to the point where one person has to abruptly interrupt the other in order to get the chance to speak. Sometimes one has to remind the other, “Hey, you’ve been talking for ages. It’s my turn now!”The minute we see each other and hear each other’s voice, the feeling is like the full bloom of a flower, filled with elation and big smiles on our faces. Each year, we draw up a plan for our life. We promise each other that we will love each other more day after day. Over the last 20 years of our marriage, the love that grows from every happy moment is like having the abundance of money in a cornucopia that we can never exhaust; our love becomes sweeter and sweeter, and we are happier and happier. I enjoy his pampering of me and at the same time I also enjoy the care of him. My husband once said to me, “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” This is the most sincere, most heartfelt words I have ever heard from him! Over the last decade, I have spared no effort to bring single men and women together because I know that it is so good to be married! Some people only dare to bury this thought in their minds and are afraid of making it public; others are even scared by the mere thought of it. But this is an absolute truth: it is so good to be married!

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 Why is marriage so attractive? This is what I want to tell all the men and women in the world. Don’t let happiness slip off your hands and feel remorse for it for the rest of your life just because you are not aware of, or do not understand why it is good, or don’t know how to make it good. Other than trying to comprehend, practice and learn, you should give yourself an opportunity to explore and to pursue this truth: it’s just so wonderful to be married!

What is True Freedom?The concept of ‘freedom comes after getting married’ is very interesting. Few people consider marriage to be the beginning of true freedom, so they have all sorts of misunderstandings about marriage itself. When you utter ‘I’m married’ on those occasions where you need to make public your marital status, you feel just like a ship that has found its harbor, in a calm shelter. In Chinese astrology, it is believed that a woman truly has her own life only after she gets married. Of course, this also holds true for men. All aspects of life truly only begin after marriage. Why do people point to their spouse and say, “This is my better half ?” When you are not married, this half ’ is just missing. This is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Before you complete the whole picture, you keep looking for the right position for the piece in your hand, searching and trying to match, until you find the right place. You can only feel at ease when the jigsaw piece, voilà, fits with another piece. The sense of uneasiness from not being married derives from the unsettling searching and trying. Like a free radical – a chemical state that can be changed at any point. It is a state of constant moving, constantly being affected by the properties of another molecule that it bumps into. There is no stability and

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predictability. Faced with the unstable state of being single, some people may proclaim that they are free. However, this is not true. Of course if you are single, you can go on a trip anytime you want, come home late, hang around in pubs, and date with anybody you like. Some people even argue: but these are the freedoms of being single! “How can this freedom of movement happen after getting married?” they ask - after all, marriage constrains all your movement, and there is no freedom whatsoever! This is however not the case. The freedom before marriage is actually part of the process of searching. It is not true stability, nor is it true freedom. True freedom only appears in a stable condition, and only in a stable condition, all problems can be tackled no matter what happens. For instance, to serve a popular Chinese dessert ‘sweet tofu curd’, soy needs to be prepared and coagulated into soy bean curd, only then one could add red beans or sweet peanuts to serve. Fish purée has to be made into fish balls before it can be sold in packets or cooked in a soup, becoming a dish by itself. An unmarried status is like unformed fish purée. Although it is highly versatile, yet it cannot stay versatile forever. After all, the ultimate purpose of being versatile or changeable is to form a definite end shape. The whole process is also like shaping pottery by hand. At the beginning, you press the clay into different forms and sizes, expecting the substance to become any shape you want. But the problem is: for how long can the lump remain in the tractable state? Eventually the clay has to become an end product – a pot, a bowl, a cup or a plate. Only by becoming an end product can the clay be used for a new purpose. The problem shared among many people is that they do not know whether they should become a pot, a bowl, a cup, or a plate. Marriage can help you become a shape that can then be used. When you acquire a specific value, you can begin a whole new life that is beyond your imagination.

The Taste of True Freedom After Getting Married

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Manage Your Marriage and Enjoy the Freedom of StabilityWhen clay becomes a pot, a bowl, a cup or a plate and ready to be used for a productive purpose, the condition becomes stable. This is also true for human beings. Stability will make one feel comfortable. This is an easy to understand concept. For example, in a kitchen, do you prefer using an existing ladle or making one from scratch? Do you want to start from shaping and heating clay, creating the ladle every time you need it? Another example comes from drinking soy milk. Do you prefer pouring it directly out of a bottle or starting with grinding and fermenting beans? Therefore, being single is like an unstable, no-form state. You have to start all over again in whatever you do, from your sex life to your work and making a living. It is like making love to your girlfriend for the first time. You need get into the feeling, create the mood with the girl, and after your lovemaking, you have to get out of the bed and return to your own home. My husband told me that he is very happy about not having to leave the bed to go home after lovemaking. What a nuisance having to rush to and fro on a freezing winter night! You may also be worried about the sudden return of that girl’s parents! Of course, single young men and women seem to have difficulties grasping the differences above because they are, after all, still very young. However, once they reach a certain age, they will feel for this deeply. As some of my friends often mention to me, “I can’t imagine that at my age, I still have to constantly be out there to date!” This constantly on-the-move is unpleasant and tormenting. Many people think that they cannot maintain a romantic relationship once they get married. As I said, this is because they do not understand or do not know how to deal with marriage. It is like a person not knowing how to manage a business and thus conclude that being a boss is unpleasant. The real reason is that this person did not fully deal with what is required of the job of a boss, NOT because of ‘being a boss

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is unpleasant.’ It is not because there is work, and thus you feel exhausted. It is because you do not know how to deal with your work, then the exhaustion of work occurs. To sum up, the point is that you have to know techniques of managing your life and managing your marriage. Do well of what is required of a husband or a wife and you will be able to enjoy the many pleasures to be found and the freedom derived from such a stable condition. Marriage creates the most stable environment, let you fully immerse and thoroughly enjoy romance to your heart’s content!

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No Reason is Required for Getting Married

What other advantages does marriage offer? If I want to answer this question fully and completely, it is actually very simple – because marriage is a necessary stage of life. In human beings’ life cycles, they grow from naivety to maturity, babies to adults. It is just natural that their life changes from that of a single person to that shared between two people. Even if you don’t want to look at it and insist, “But my life should not be this way!” the natural process still is this way. Some people feel they are being forced when they hear the word ‘necessary’. They want to resist it and propose many theories to attack it. The most common argument is as follows: “It’s not necessary to get married. My life is fairly good even if I remain single. I can direct my full attention to my work and buy a house for myself. Remaining single also gives me more freedom!” Another argument is: “People divorce after they get married and marry again after they divorce. Why should my life be so bothersome? Isn’t it good to remain single?” “Isn’t it easier if we could get together and break up -- as we please?” These arguments all sound too familiar. However, they are used for the pure sake of opposing. People come up with these askew logics because they cannot face marriage. The root cause is that regarding marriage, they just ‘do not understand’ or ‘do not know how.’ I have a sound reason for saying that marriage is a ‘necessary’ road that we need to travel on. A life of two people is definitely better than a life of one. I

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don’t mean that you’ll not feel lonely when you are with another person and that you’ll feel lonely when you are single – because even if you tie the knot with another person, there are still moments where you have to be on your own. When I maintain that ‘a life of two people is better than a life of one’, this is the plus point – the advantages, not the minus point, the disadvantages. That is to say, when two people are together, the ideal situation would be that neither of them should, or need to, eliminate their original self. If you have this idea that ‘you will lose your personal space after marriage’, of course you’ll be opposed to marriage, and feel disdain towards it. You’ll wonder why you need to get married because getting married means you need to sacrifice your personal space! No, this is completely wrong thinking!

One Plus One is Greater Than TwoA true marriage does not make you lose your space. The ideal situation is that you can have your own space as well as the enjoyment of the space shared between you and your partner. This is the kind of marriage which we all want. This is also why I said marriage is a plus point, not a minus point. Marriage should be fun, constructive, attractive, infatuating, satisfying and enjoyable. The only problem is that most people seem to be forever at loss about how to achieve these goals – almost an unattainable fantasy. However, this does not mean that there is no way or no hope to attain these ideals. For example, when two people get married, they add more than one new connection to their social network. At least the type of relatives increases right after marriage – you have the in-laws. As the ancient saying goes, “Many hands make light work; we may lose in terms of individual ability, but we will never lose in terms of numbers in a group.” Having manpower is prosperity.

No Reason is Required for Getting Married

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 If one can manage the additional contacts and connections well, these will be the couple’s combined assets, and they are far much larger than those of one person. However, the majority of people does not understand and does not know how to utilize these resources, so they think their parents-in-law and sisters-in-law are a nuisance. But if you are able to develop your relationship with these new acquaintances and connections, you will experience the abundance and richness of ‘two is a lot more than one’. In addition to your in-laws, you will also benefit from your partner’s friends, other acquaintances, etc, gaining the full assets of knowledge, family background, etc. This is also why political families and business giants gain power and influence through the marriage of their children with another influential family. There is a certain logic behind these arrangements. I do not mean that marriage should be based on mutual vested interests between two groups. What I want to convey is that two people is better than one. With two people, there will be exponentially growing energy and richness in your life. There are definitely so many benefits to marriage, and in the progress of human life, marriage is something that naturally happens.

The Meaning of Life from an Eternal Point of ViewAnother fact about this ‘necessary stage of life’ is that most men and women grow up in a family that is made up of a father and a mother, that is to say, a man and a woman. The Founding Father of Taiwan, Mr. Chiang Kai-shek, has a brilliant sentence to describe the continuity of human life: “The meaning of life lies in creating new life for the universe.” Life becomes eternal in such a relay. Marriage connects human beings to future generations and broadens people’s mind, turning a single-generation’s perspective into a macro view of the eternal future.

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 The saying, “Plant a tree for your descendents” is a concept that makes you look further into the future and gives you a broader viewpoint in whatever you do now. Some elderly people love to say, “Help him find a wife, and he’ll then like marriage!”This is a truth which has workability and practical use that has been observed in the long history of humans. Marriage helps men and women improve fast, the same way scenery can change fast as one makes a turn going up the mountain. As one reaches the top of this mountain, one has a higher perspective to view the world, and a broader mindset to care for more people. In addition, marriage is an entity in itself, inspiring the couple towards a better economic condition, builds their interpersonal relationships, creates their future, etc. With the addition of this entity, it’s almost like having another business, school, restaurant, hotel, etc, in a particular community -- economics become better, the game become bigger. Marriage is also a door, a door that leads to a larger world. In this larger world, you are in charge of more matters and your game is on a larger scale! Most importantly, you and your other half will feel happier, and you will feel that you have improved -- life is more complete and richer. 

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Why Do You Have No Desire to Get Married?

Some people hold negative views about marriage. The reason behind their serious doubts about this institution may come from their parents’ unpleasant experiences. They see that their elders are troubled by insolvable problems, difficult relatives and even their own partners – some couples spend their whole life attacking each other for the shortcomings that seem ‘impossible to change.’ After observing soap opera-like bad plots for a long time, those who are single are intimidated by the potential difficulties of marriage. They firmly believe that marriage is a dead end before even dedicating themselves to it -- they are better off declaring that they will never get married. The real reasons remain: lack of understanding, no knowledge on how to manage, not knowing how to confront and no idea on how to solve the problem. In fact, there are solutions to the negative problems of marriage. If one wants to earn money but yet has no desire to work, one cannot make money. You have to confront learning how to manage your finances, work hard, plan well on how to expand your business, etc. All these skills can be learned and are achievable. I believe that for many people, once they know the workable methods and knowledge of how to solve the problems of marriage, they see the beacons of hope and thus they will happily enter the world of two people. They will no longer have any reason to feel disdain towards marriage. In a nutshell, people can change and improve, and all these ways of improvement can be learned. So, why am I advocating marriage? I am actually advocating seeking a direction in life where everyone can attain their dreams and thus feel tremendously

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happy; a life where dreams do come true. To achieve this goal, I am indeed very actively engaged in promoting marriage. Even if I encounter the anger of many people and even get attacked for my actions, I will do everything I can to promote marriage.

What Kind of Happiness Do You Want?Some people very much desire marriage, but they only consider marriage in its material aspect. They weigh all the pros and cons of their potential partners. This is actually a serious problem. Honestly, if you really have tremendous desire to marry into an affluent family and strive to better yourself to achieve this goal, you are not wrong -- as long as you think you will be happy that way. This is a matter of personal choice – there is no right or wrong. However, some people’s marriage dreams are overly material-oriented. They hope their partners have high academic qualifications, have nice cars and houses. Some ladies want to marry a handsome guy who is at least 6 feet tall. These people work hard to achieve these goals, yet they feel that something is wrong, thinking ‘this is not what I really want’. Such a mindset shows that these people are only going after the ‘comfortable life.’ What is living a ‘good’ comfortable life? Some people may think not having to work, living a life of leisure, having servants, etc, means this is a ‘good’ life. Others think having an obedient husband that listens to their every need makes for a good life. Is this really a ‘good’ life or a falsehood? Actually these are all false illusions! We have seen such people with ‘good lives’ -- they are not happy at all. The most intriguing part is that these people will admit they have a ‘good life’ but say that they are not happy! Therefore, whatever dream you wish to attain, it must be based on whether you will feel happy and exhilarated!

Why Do You Have No Desire to Get Married?

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 With the example of those who strive to marry into an affluent family, we can see that some people are happy, but there are also plenty of others that are unhappy or get divorced. In this case, the unhappiness because of marrying into a rich family is to a certain degree the same as the unhappiness of marrying a poor guy. Are you considering happiness as one of the more important factor in your marriage dream? If so, you should not be so material-oriented, thus making your dream so far-fetched beyond your reach. This reasoning is very simple, very scientific, and very easy to think with. Even if you lay down the following requirements for your ideal spouse – possessing three houses, earning more than one million dollars a year, looking like the handsome movie star, and so on – what happens when you meet the person with all those qualities? Will you be satisfied? Will you be happy? After examining every single question, ask yourself if the materialistic items are what you really want. And what do you really want? You will definitely know the answer.

The ‘Assumptions’ Which are Not Really TrueSome people, after they get married, do strange things like save money behind their spouse’s back, have secret love affairs or do something on the sly. These situations are not riddles. That does not mean there is just no way out or you have bad luck. These conditions exist because people chose their spouse based on the material criteria that they thought were good for them, and they thought it was what they wanted. When the reality differed from their imagination, they deviated from their marriage to search for what they really wanted by doing strange things. People assumed things could only be the way they are, or they assumed that

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there are no other options, or they assumed ‘life is such’ etc, etc, etc. However, all these assumptions came from the result of ‘lack of understanding’ and ‘not knowing how.’ Why are there so many assumptions then? Why do people assume these materialistic criteria to be ‘good’? And why do I, a matchmaker, know that these are not what people want? It is not because I can read their minds. The explanation is simple: these assumptions are just not workable. It is like driving a car. If you know how strong your engine is and how much fuel your car needs, you would not think of operating a train with a motorcycle’s engine. Likewise, you would definitely fail if you want to use the possession of material goods to gain spiritual happiness. The reasons behind this false assumption are simple: ‘lack of understanding’ and ‘not knowing how’.

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It’s Wonderful to be Married, Fun Comes With Your Dedication

If you want to play the game of marriage well, you have to assess how much participation you wish to put in, how much attention you pay and the degree of your care. How can you get any great pleasure without active engagement? It is like playing on a basketball team. A player who cares for the team will put all his effort into training because he’s serious about competition and cares about everything related to the team. He may even treasure his uniform and make sure to show up on time for practices. It is all about being dedicated and taking it to heart. If you give your full efforts and are serious, you can then play it for the best enjoyment, enjoying the highest collaboration with the team. In contrast, some people, though on a basketball team, do not care much about playing or practicing. Their minds are full of TV programs and other games. It is imaginable that their performance will be affected. In addition, the occasional unhappiness shown on their faces will affect others in the team, making their teammates unhappy. The relationship between team members are the same way. If everyone is equally dedicated, and they all like playing the game, then the game will be fun and high spirited. On the contrary, if some players love playing the game, while others do not, unhappiness in the team will ensue. Those who love playing will be pro-active. They will always have fun with the whole game. Those who are not that into the game will be controlled by those who are, and they may even want to give up. Just by looking at the field of playing sports, we can see the big differences between attitude and result. You can choose what you want. If you do not wish to participate that much, it is only natural that you do not get much rewards back. To be a good player in the game of marriage, you need to be well- equipped,

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apart from your level of commitment. Do you really have the ability to play? It is like playing basketball. You may want to do a fast play, avoid your defender and shoot. But without proper training, you are not capable of accomplishing these tasks, even if you wanted to. These abilities are developed after training, just like in a happy marriage. Happiness is not based on luck. Instead, it is based on continuous practice and hard work, constantly ‘doing’ until it materializes. A happy marriage requires a great deal of interest and commitment from one’s part, and lots of management. Serious problems occur in a marriage not because of ‘marriage’ itself. It is because those who are involved do not value enough, do not understand, or do not concentrate on this aspect of life. For example, if you only like to work and are not willing to spend time managing your marriage, then the rate of failure is of course very high. It is just like buying stocks. If you spend money without having any interest in stocks, you are very likely to lose money! The key to marriage management is your ability, which can be acquired through training. However, it depends on whether you are serious and whether you will work hard to develop that ability – it is all boiling down to one’s decision to do so or not.

Do Not Destroy the Opportunity to Learn Gender RelationsI am of the opinion that the earlier you get married, the better. Do not wait until a certain age to make your marriage vows. That will be the time where you’ll need to yell for help. It is like waiting for the stock price to fall, then you realize the urgency -- it is indeed too late to do anything. As you grow up, you should begin – as early as between ten and fourteen years of age – to learn how to understand the opposite sex and build your interpersonal relationships. You must also learn to talk, how to dress up, how to be appropriate and be well-liked, and at the same time learn how to be at

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ease with the opposite sex. Many parents and schools in the modern time do not put much emphasis on such training and knowledge. Quite a few young men and women gain experience during puberty through blind and clumsy self-exploration. The result is that their experience often comes with the price of pain. Currently there are few opportunities in society for people to learn gender relations. Some parents and school authorities even think such learning is not important, forbidding their children to have any contact with the opposite sex. Thus there are many ‘home-boys’ and ‘home-girls’ (boys and girls who have no social skills and stay mainly at home) and relationship ‘idiots’. It’s a great pity to waste our youth’s potential by not teaching them about relationships. You must know that an Olympic player begins his or her training at 8 years old or even earlier. Learning gender relations is not much different from training an Olympic player. If you refuse to let your children learn such skills, you are a cruel parent who deprives your children of the opportunity to live a normal life. It is as inhuman as not letting your children receive education and thus making them illiterate. We all understand how difficult it is to be illiterate and survive in this society, but it is equally difficult for people who ‘do not understand’ and ‘do not know how to’ handle gender relationships, thus creating the phenomenon of a female not quite acting like a female and a male not quite acting like a male. These young people have to go through the pain and suffering of not being accepted by society. Although not all gender issues come from parents’ ignorance and misconception, a parent’s influence is still a key element. Parents have the responsibility to help their children understand the opposite sex. I am not saying this to put the blame on parents and schools. Children do develop naturally and deal with gender issues by ten years of age. Therefore, children can take responsibility.

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 That said, if parents could give some sort of guidance and request it of their children, they will help the children a lot – like the skill of expressing love in a cute way -- ‘sweet talking,’ it is indeed acquired by learning; if the mother does not know how to do this type of sweet talking, her children will usually lack the ability. Likewise, if the mother knows how to dress up, her children are influenced to some degree. There are of course some exceptions. If the mother only minds her own business or only loves buying new bags and fashionable clothes without true knowledge of aesthetics, she cannot be a model for her children. What she demonstrates is just the relationship between material comfort and money. The aristocrats look noble not because they grow up in a royal family but because they receive training in etiquette, education and how to dress up, starting at a young age. Their noble character and polite conversational skills are the results of long-term cultivation. Of course there are both beautiful and not so beautiful aristocratic ladies, but through intensive training, it is not likely that a girl does not know how to wear high heels, dance or walk gracefully. None of them would act like a man or fail to curtsy gracefully. This is the great power of education.

The Younger You are, the Less You Fear FailureModern discussions about marriage, whether it is the issue of remaining single or divorcing, or even advocating being a feminist, etc, all came from ‘not understanding’ and ‘not knowing how’ regarding gender relations and these discussions are in fact the products of failed relationships. To have a successful relationship, you need to take care of it from the very beginning, starting with its roots. Why is a flower so beautiful? Because every single part of its roots, stalks, and leaves receives the utmost care from the time it appears. You need to fertilize the soil and keep it in perfect condition. Every

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detail and cycle needs to be carefully attended to. Modern people need to understand that learning gender relations has to begin at a young age. Girls play with dolls, and boys play horse-riding and fighting games. These games offer opportunities for children to learn their roles. Of course in the modern society, there is no such thing as boys needing to learn a particular thing or girls needing to learn a specific subject, but you need to bear in mind that men and women are naturally different, thus they are also inclined to learn different things. Marriage is like learning a subject. If you’ve got all the right basic concepts, you can master it quickly. Just like dancing, if you have a good sense and know how to balance your body, you will be a quick learner. Likewise, if you have great agility and isolation (clear cuts between moves), you will also learn dancing quickly. However, if you are bad at coordination, such as lifting your left leg when you were asked to lift your right leg, or losing your balance altogether, you need to spend extra time, and extra effort to learn the skill. Having a good relationship also needs to be learned. Some people can easily accept kissing and hugging, but others, who are as stiff as robots, are not used to these actions. Everyone has his or her difficulties to overcome in the learning process, but if you’ve got all the right basic concepts, you will be ready to marry after a bride training course of approximately one or two months. If you do not have the right basics, then you will need a longer period of training time. To the same person, the earlier he or she gets married, the easier it is to train them. It is like learning ice-skating. The younger you are, the less you are afraid of falling down. The length of time you need for acquiring this skill is also shorter. However, this situation is not absolute. Some people, despite of their old age, are fast learners because they were sportive when they were young. These people have strong muscles, good sense, and a solid foundation, so they can learn at a quicker pace – they, after all, have

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‘trained’ before. Generally speaking, you will never go wrong with this concept of ‘the earlier you start practicing, the better it will be to acquire the skills.’

Being a Good Lover Takes PracticePractice definitely applies to love relationships and marriages. How good you are at getting along with others will determine your chance of being married and your speed of improvement. This is scientific, and there is nothing mysterious about it. Like making a speech, some people can enter into a verbal debate, but others cannot even utter a word without the text in hand. This is all a matter of training -- training will fix the lack of ability. You will naturally gain familiarity with anything with adequate practice. Whether you become a master at love relationships or not actually depends on how much effort you have put into your practice. Some people are clumsy in handling love matters. They are not ill or eccentric; they just lack training. As long as they are willing to learn, they will achieve the same result. Your level and speed of learning may differ from others, but when you work hard at it, you will do better today than what you did yesterday. It is easy to observe the importance of learning in our daily life. You will find that some girls never have difficulties getting a boyfriend and they get married with ease, and you will find that they have qualities beyond just being pretty. Those who are beautiful but can hardly carry on a conversation with others usually drift apart from their dates after one or two meetings, while those who do not have fascinating physical appearances but can make people comfortable are more likely to be ideal partners for men – at least they have more suitors. Many supermodels are not necessarily good-looking when they start their career. However, after a lot of training and dressing up, training in walking and talking, they develop their own elegance and gradually become more

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and more attractive. It is because of learning that they are transformed into gorgeous supermodels. As you can see, the training after one is born is more important than our innate talents and is definitely necessary.

Chapter 2

A Different Kind of Creativity in Life

In Love with Matchmaking

 Hellen Chen

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I Understand Your Romantic Dream

Whose hands are going to be joined to whose hands? When it comes to the challenges and pleasure of matchmaking, I can go on for ages. Why am I able to realize everyone’s dream of finding their perfect partner? It’s all about exploring traces and finding clues. My main profession is a consultant in the area of management. Whether it is advising people which career to take on, which area to run what type of business or where to set up shop, the best time to expand a business and what are the current trends, etc, all these answers could be derived from data and experience, and looking thoroughly at the data at hand, organizing and then arriving at a judgment. In fact, I manage human affairs on the same principle. I am very interested in people, love being with people and hope people are happy. I have lots of observation in the affairs of men and women and all-rounded exploration and experience. So I am sensitive to even the slightest clue and can help many realize their lover’s dreams. All these are in fact scientific and not mysterious at all.

What is a Well-Matched Couple?The old Chinese expression ‘matching by the correct family’ concisely summarizes the idea behind marriage. Many people misunderstand the meaning of ‘matching by the correct family’. They compare the wealth and social status of each of the couple’s background to see if they are suitable for each other. But they do not consider the factor of love. In fact, wealth and social status are only a background, it is just a supplementary

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factor towards the judgment of the couple‘s love for each other, whether they are suitable and matching in terms of life experience. The most important element in marriage, however, is their agreement for the relationship. You will put the cart before the horse if you consider material conditions as a judgment for the relationship. A ‘proper match’ in my opinion has nothing to do with educational backgrounds or the couple’s interests. These two factors may look important in a proper match, but they are not really that influential. Some high school graduates get along with university graduates; even some PhDs have no difficulties getting along well with high school graduates. So what kind of ‘proper match’ am I talking about here? Let’s explain this using a common expression: a ‘proper match’ means the couple’s character matches. Two persons who love to be active make a good match. Thus even if the educational backgrounds of two persons are similar, an active person and a quiet passive person are not going to get along well. If the two persons both love to be active, even if they have different educational backgrounds, they will find each other fun and interesting. To be more precise, being active or passive is related to how much one loves talking and whether the ‘frequency’ of the communication matches. This is like the common saying: “When the conversation is not appealing, to say even half a sentence more is too much.” If it does truly match, that means ‘two hearts beat in unison’ – a Chinese idiom that describes the natural connection between two people with little words needed. And why is it that for some people, the conversation has no appeal, and yet with others, there is so much connection? These reasons are extremely scientific and they are definitely worthy to explore.

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Matchmaking is Like Having Your Car Repaired – Just Go to the Experts!I have engaged in matchmaking for a long time, and hitched many couples. All these came from my passion for people. From the gains of observation and experience, it helped me become sharper than others in judging if a couple would make a good match. This is neither because I am more intelligent nor because I have extra- sensory perception. I just give myself more opportunities to train. Moreover, I do work harder and have a higher interest, so naturally I observe, explore and study more, thus naturally more familiarity too. This is like a person who is interested in racing cars. He examines the cars and familiarizes himself with them on a regular basis. Soon he will know how the car engine is once he hears the sound of the engine. This person will also know where the problem lies upon the slightest problem with the car. Due to such strong interest, with lots of observation and hands-on experience, one would become an expert! Some people think that I have some kind of inherent ability to ‘see through’ the hearts of men and women. Actually that is not the case. It is all because I have interest in what I am doing. I work hard to make things go right, and thrive for the best result. When I encounter a couple, I do my homework, personally spend time with them and understand their wishes. I use my heart and lots of care to experience and feel for them. And, I truly work hard on helping them attain their happiness. These are all the reasons why experts are experts – they do a lot in their field, and are familiar, hardworking and have their hearts in what they do. Why are there many people asking me to be their matchmaker and thinking

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I must be a goddess? Actually it is just like having your car repaired. You can feel more assured if you ask an experienced expert for help. Likewise, if a man and a woman want a happy marriage, it is only natural that they seek a matchmaker who has lots of hands-on knowledge, in-the-trenches experiences, has sharp observational skills, has lots of heart and care, and will do everything possible to help the couple achieve their ideals. Some modern people do not have the time and energy to search for the other half; others keep having failing relationships, make the same mistakes, and have no idea where the problem lies or what they should change. These problems cannot be solved by finding a fortune teller. The important thing is action. You need to understand why you keep falling down in the same place and why car accidents always take place in certain locations. When you know the cause, you will be able to fix the problem. The journey of marriage is also a scientific subject. As long as you act in the right way and discover the real cause, difficult situations are not difficult to resolve. I sometimes advise people to divorce. This does not mean that I encourage divorce or treat marriage lightly. If divorce is the best solution, why doesn’t he or she get a divorce? After all, problems have to be fixed so that situations can improve. The point is not to make the same mistakes. It is like a business failure. Failure is nothing. You just need to start all over again. Make sure that things will be better next time. This is the main point. What should you do to make your romantic dream come true? It is really easy. As long as you want to improve yourself and become better, as long as you are willing to manage the relationship and willing to take action to fix problems as they come along, even the most ‘mission impossible’ romantic dream will come true in the end.

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Going Through the Journey to Make Your Dream Come True

Persuading men and women to pursue a happy marriage is a big task, just like building the Great Wall of China. I would not deliberately mention any one particular phase of how it is special, because this whole project is a gigantic long term project – and one must have perseverance, determination and an unwavering faith. A big responsibility that I carry is to trust the bride and the groom more deeply than they trust themselves, have more faith in their marriage than they do, and put more effort and care than they do. I shoulder their responsibility for themselves. This is like building a railway. The workers only care about coming to work on time. As the railway is not yet ready, the driver thinks the construction is none of his business. Passengers are even more detached. They must think, “I’ll take the train when there’s one. Since there’s none, I’ll just give up the idea of taking the train.” In the end, who leads the new couple’s marriage? Who is the creator? Who is the worker? To be honest, these questions are indeed very intriguing. My matchmaking process is not as glorious as you may have imagined. It is like going on an expedition. You may encounter soggy ground, torrential rain or mosquito bites. You may also get lost, have no water for three days, or have no food for five days. However, the most beautiful part of this journey is the meaning and value of this goal, and I am willing to fight till the end for this goal. Because I believe there must be a suitable partner for each person, I will never give up until I find him or her a partner. The longest record I have was working

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for nearly ten years for the happiness of this one woman. I insisted on finding her a husband, and I succeeded in the end. The length of time is in fact not the point. How many difficulties I encounter is also not the important. What’s most important is accomplishing the goal, and the goal is accomplished when happiness is found for the couples. Whenever I accomplish a goal, I treat the difficulties as precious experiences and lessons of life. I relish the intrigue and fun in these precious experiences again and again -- even long afterwards. This is something for which I find tremendous joy. I do not mind how risky and dangerous the process can be. I only care about meeting the right people that happen to come into my life, open up their minds and help them find their own treasures. This is what’s most important and also what I care about.

The Belief that We Can Forever Improve and be Good To-gether is So BeautifulMarriage, like any other matter in life, can always become better and better. It’s development will forever continue forward. Only when something can become better and better, can we fulfill the true definition of ‘good’. Life is like rowing upstream against the current. If you do not advance, you will be carried downstream by the flow. Some couples have enjoyed an intimate relationship for a long time, even for twenty years, but they still divorce in the end. Sometimes one cannot overcome the difficult bottlenecks in life. You cannot keep challenges and problems from coming, and you do not need to avoid them. The beauty of problems does not appear when you abhor the problems and avoid them; problems disappear when you face and solve them. The happiness of combating and eradicating a problem is a special kind of beauty in itself.

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 How do we make something good even better? This area has always interested me. The belief and intention that life can be forever be better and better is really so beautiful. I believe every couple is capable of creating better happiness. Those who come to me for help may lack certain abilities at the beginning, but those who managed to reach the top with me have a strong desire for improvement and a passion for exploring life, thus together with me, we overcome strong barriers and perform miracles. Together with the men and women who have signed up with me for marriage, we are like a group of mountaineers. We reach the highest mountain summit together with such joy! I am like a seasoned tailor, whose exceptional experience and taste can unveil the unusual charm of a suit with a high level of expertise. I have made many people who seem unlikely to marry tie the knot and perfected many married couples’ marriages. It is all because I believe the goal can be reached and that ‘good’ can always become better.

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Open your Mind, the Possibilities are Endless

I often tell men and women, “There’s more than one Mr. Right or Miss Right for you.” It’s just like in the story of Cinderella, she cannot be the only person whose feet fit the glass slipper. In the real world, likewise, there must be many suitable partners for you, so you should not think that you will ‘die’ without a certain person. The story in which Romeo and Juliet both must die for love is miserable. This type of mentality is very unhealthy. In my opinion, if a woman is mature and equipped with many good attributes, she will be happy whoever she marries. This is the same for men. A man can enjoy a happy marriage whoever he marries as long as he himself is good. To many people, this is a reckless and daring, never-heard-of-before idea. But to me, it is still very scientific and simple. If a person is mature enough, he can easily get along with all sorts of people. For example, a hero of martial arts fiction can live with an old man in the mountains for a few decades. He can also visit other martial arts groups in other locations, be at ease and get along with others well. As long as he is mature, he can go wherever he fancies and make a lot of friends. If a person is flexible, there’s no limit to what he can do. Finding a person to marry is just a choice, a decision. Since we live in a monogamous society, we are only allowed to be married to one person at one time, thus it is the simplicity of just choosing one. There are plenty more fishes in the sea, so what matters is just your decision. The system of monogamy is the best system to materialize God’s will.

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 Take my older brother for example. He was thinking of having two wives when he was little. One day he told me that after due consideration, he thought that was impossible because he could hardly deal with even one girl! At that time we were both young, and I laughed out loud when I heard his argument. I am different from my older brother. I just want to dedicate my love to one person. The beauty of love lies in its uniqueness and exclusiveness: if you devote yourself to loving one person, you will not want to find somebody else. As for what I have mentioned earlier, about not having to ‘must have’ a particular person or else… that is referring to something else. It is about not being stubbornly insisting that only a particular man or woman is suitable for you. What is important is that you should first try to develop the level of ability and maturity that let you able to be in the position of ‘I can marry anyone’. Then, you choose one person and dedicate yourself to him or her. Take parking for example. People will normally feel delighted if they are able to find a parking space in a packed parking lot. The location may be a bit far from the destination, but walking will solve the problem. Finding a perfect spot is of course exciting, but when even one space is hard to get, you should be satisfied as long as you find one, even if it has a bad location. When you need a parking space, you will be contented despite the fact that you need to pay and wait in line. You just want ‘one place.’ In the end, is there really such a thing as a ‘really good’ spot and a ‘really bad’ spot? Applying this idea to the field of relationship is indeed not very easy to be accepted. People normally think that they just want this one or that pretty girl, especially the one they met when they were young. To me, such a view is quite narrow-minded. However, I can still understand the beauty of puppy love. If you take it seriously and try your best to create a happy ending, I think that is indeed great. 

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But if you curtail your own happiness because of it, you are mixing up the order of importance -- you are putting the cart before the horse.

Maintain the Relationship You’ve ChosenAlthough it is important and desirable to find the other half, yet I think what is more important is to make yourself mature, have the level and quality of a Fair Lady or Prince Charming, and then you can choose a person you like. When I say having the idea of ‘I can marry anyone,’ I do not mean that you choose your partner by careless choice. I mean you should not limit your choices to a single person. Life is full of unexpected changes. For example, the one you love may not love you. Or he may marry another girl, and you may accidentally marry another guy. He may also suddenly die etc. These factors should not become the impasse to your happiness. You should let yourself become a lady with many good attributes and become a pearl among gentlemen. In this way, you will have many choices. Choose a partner carefully and give him all your love. The ultimate goal is still to work hard to manage the relationship you’ve chosen. This is love. Do not think that the grass is greener on the other side. Do not feel dissatisfied because other people’s diamonds are bigger than yours, or because others’ husbands are better-looking, or because others’ wives are gentler. These are childish thoughts. And your life will become bitter due to these warped mindsets. What matters is that you cherish what you possess. It is having your own garden. You need to know how to cultivate it, fertilize it and harvest it. The real beauty is that you love your own land, every petal and every leaf. Love what you have, this is true beauty. 

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There is this common phrase, “Choose what you love and love what you choose.” Life is about managing your own world, enjoy your own creation – this is very real and brings great happiness.

Chapter 3

Matchmaking of the Century

True Stories Told by Happy Couples

 Below are happy couples

‘ handcrafted ’ by the Matchmaker of the Century. 

They have their own past and hardship, but they have begun on the journey of happiness

under the skillful hands and care of the matchmaker. 

These are the stories told by the happy couples themselves.

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Love and Romance Come After the Marriage

A Hard Beginning Makes a Good Ending Ming Let’s transport ourselves to the year 2000 through a time machine. In Los Angeles, a city on the West Coast of the United States, there was a street named Edgemont Street. At 8:55 every morning, you could often see a group of Taiwanese young people rushing out for school five minutes before the class started. This was an interesting sight to behold on Edgemont Street. Among this group of people was me. Because I didn’t like to make a fool of myself by dashing along the street wildly, I just walked briskly at the speed of jogging. Another person in this group was my present wife. Back then she was just a friend. She always dashed with that group of young people in her platform high heels. That sight was a great wonder to me. Until that December, I had never thought about getting married, not to say getting married with her. At the end of December, I told her in the apartment kitchen we shared with other people, “Ms. Chen suggested that we marry on February 14. Is it OK for you?” She didn’t say “No”, but she was a bit confused – was it me or my boss who wanted me to propose to her? Nonetheless, she still married me in the end. When it came to marriage, my reluctance reigned supreme. I felt miserable whenever I thought of the fact that I had to live with another person after marriage. I would also lose the freedom of being single. To escape from such misery, I started evading the subject of marriage by all means since I reached marriageable age. Being a temporary worker collecting

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fruit in the mountains was one way; working around the clock in the small town of Danshui was another; acting as a loner who tried his best to hide his masculinity was still another. These attempts at escaping from marriage almost made me believe that matrimony would never appear in my life. However, as I was complacent about my perpetual breakout from the chains of marriage, a sharp-eyed matchmaker unfolded my road of marriage for me. In January 2001, I went out with the first – and also the last – date of my life, because my date was my fiancée. The goal of this romantic relationship was very clear. That is, we were to have our engagement party on February 14 and our wedding ceremony at the end of March. Our super matchmaker kept saying, “Love and romance come after the marriage”, the reason: don’t let the happiness and joy of dating be shared with other people who may not end up being a spouse. Dating my future spouse is the best. So my wife and I began dating amidst our hectic preparations for the wedding ceremony. The good thing about our wedding was that we had the help of the matchmaker of the century. She could do the jobs of ten people and was bold enough to bypass many conventional and troublesome requirements. As a result, we only spent one month on the preparation of our wedding – if we did everything ‘by tradition,’ the whole process would be so tedious that there would be at least a ten years’ decrease in our life expectancy. Even if we were not tired out, we would be annoyed to death! Another interesting incident about our wedding was the creative but cheeky tricks our good friends played on us. Each of them looked at us with a meaningful look as if they were ready to watch a porn film. All of a sudden, my wife and I became the ‘naked scapegoats’… Fortunately, our great matchmaker was in control of everything, so we weathered the crisis safe and sound – I only revealed my chest, not my primary intimate part. There was an old pine tree on Edgemont Street. To get there, it took about 15 minutes on foot from our apartment. The pine tree was an important landmark; it was also a point of return for our daily walk, reminding us that we should

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turn back at that point. If our walk was a pleasant one, we knew that half of our happy time had passed when we saw the old pine tree. On the contrary, if the walk was for resolving disputes, we knew that we had spent half of our time on arguing and that we only had the other half left to end our argument. Unfortunately, the walking time we had at the beginning of our marriage was usually not enough for resolving disputes. What often happened was that we were still quarrelling with each other after we went past the old pine tree three times. When all of our roommates already could see our problems, we were still blindly carrying on with our verbal fights. This might be why those who are closely involved in any situation cannot see as clearly as those who are outside that situation. Quarrelling and arguing can be also a kind of happiness. This is the picture that describes the first one and a half years of our married life. Those squabbling evenings and walks became an outlet for our emotions, and we began to enter our ‘honeymoon period’. Our married life was rough at first, but sweetness came at bitterness’s heel. Quite many people are not willing to experience such a phenomenon. People cannot accept ‘suffer first and enjoy the happiness later.’ My wife and I got married when we still knew little about each other. However, we started to enjoy the beauty of marriage as our understanding about each other improved every day. With marriage as our firm foundation, all our quarrels can be dealt with without leaving any harmful aftereffects. We have a secret that is not known to others: our marriage is ‘under warranty.’ The person responsible for the warranty is our super matchmaker of the century. She takes care of our relationship not only before marriage but also after it. With her as a mediator, many of our crises were turned into blessings in disguise, and potential landmines became golden opportunities for us to be frank with each other. I would be lying if I maintained that a married life is always sweet. However,

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be it sweet or bitter, everything in a married life makes it thrilling and full of surprises. Because of these bitter events, sweetness becomes more precious. Even in those tense moments, there are still many lovely sights to be remembered forever. The Christmas of 2001 was the first important holiday after we got married. At that time, we tried not to buy things that were not necessary – to economize our expenditure for our stay in America. Therefore, even if the atmosphere was festive in America, I just wanted to give my wife a verbal ‘Merry Christmas’ as a gift. However, something happened. The evening before Christmas, my wife suddenly spoke to me when I was reading something in the apartment living room. She said she saw a teddy bear in a shop nearby. It was white and looked very cute. The point was that it was not very expensive (something like $3.99 or $5.99). She asked me if she could buy it. At first I wanted to say “No,” but it occurred to me that I had not given her any diamond ring or necklace during the first half-year of our marriage. I would be too mean if I refused to give her a teddy, so I said, “Yes.” Surprisingly, she produced that white teddy the next second and covered her face with it. Then she looked at me with a pair of innocent eyes, asking me, “Isn’t it very cute?” This happened long ago, but she still thinks the teddy is the first gift I gave her even if it was her who paid for it. In addition, she said that she had secured my love for her in her heart, so it did not matter much whether the white teddy existed or not. Before I got married, I led a solitary life. No matter what I did, I was alone. I ate alone, went to the movies alone, travelled alone, laughed alone and cried alone. After I got married, I began a life of two. Because we eat together, I have to get used to eating different kinds of food. By watch movies with my wife, I’ve

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learned to appreciate different genres of films. To make both of us happy, I don’t try to be sad by myself. Marriage offers me an opportunity to explore my life, and also another person’s life. Now I understand many things where before I had no idea about, comprehended another’s words which I was confused about, and knew the feelings I could not empathize with. Marriage did not curtail the freedom I had enjoyed when single. Instead, it has expanded my personal space and improved my wisdom. In the past, gender issues were my taboo because I did not understand gender relations. After I got married, they were no longer the unknown. My life also becomes complete. I was put in shackles owing to my ignorance, but because of understanding, I was released from them. Now I’m enjoying more freedom. This Valentine’s Day she wanted me to give her a piece of chocolate as a Valentine’s Day gift and an engagement anniversary gift. It will be our wedding anniversary after a few days. During our seven years of married life, we’ve experienced ups and downs. We’ve argued, quarreled, cried, and yelled. However, when a brand-new day comes, we are more intimate than we were yesterday. I often wake up at night. It may be because she squeezes me, pushes me with her butt, or hugs me for warmth. There may be no reason for my waking up. However, I love looking at her tranquil face in the dim light. I hear her soft breathing. I give her a kiss. To have a person who peacefully sleeps beside you and shares the same duvet with you, it is trust and also happiness. This happiness filled my heart. To be honest, I am indeed very happy, very contented and also feel it’s all real. Marriage is a subject of aesthetics; marriage is a risky adventure. However, if you stop your tracks because you are afraid of facing obstacles and limitations in the process of pursuing happiness, you will never be free in the field of matrimony. Likewise, you will never enjoy true freedom in your life and, of course, you will never achieve happiness. 

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You have the freedom to choose marriage or celibacy. A single person can never understand the happiness of the life of two persons, but a married person definitely understands the conflicts and contradictions experienced by a single person. Marriage allows a wandering mind to rest; it offers a shelter for lovesickness; it continues love and gives freedom to love. It’s so good to be married!

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Turning a Joke into a Fairy Tale Novia I met Ms. Chen when I was 25. At that time, I was still recovering from the termination of my previous relationship. I once thought I would never be alright, and I once believed I would never encounter any good men again in this life. To be more precise, I felt I had no abilities whatsoever to manage a good relationship. After I met Ms. Chen, however, the spells that once existed in my mind were broken one by one. Ms. Chen gave me the courage to place two large ‘bets’ in my life. (I called them ‘bets’ because I thought they were highly risky.) One was quitting my job and flying to America. The other was accepting the marriage proposal of a man who had never been in a relationship with me. We decided to live the rest of our life together. To me, why I had placed these two bets were incomprehensible, as I was the kind of person who had to turn things over in his/her mind until no action could possibly be carried out. I made these two decisions entirely based on my trust in Ms. Chen. In other words, it was Ms. Chen who placed the bets for me, but when she did that, she also ‘guaranteed’ results: she wanted me to be happy, enjoy freedom and be capable in life. I used to think a marriage is good as long as there are no extramarital affairs or divorces. And I would use that criterion to observe my friends’ and relatives’ marriages. At the dining table, occasionally, I saw a husband putting food on his wife’s plate. They would make a model couple in my mind. At that time, my only ‘expectation for my future marriage was that my husband would perform the same act. Such a low standard and expectation of marriage made a U-turn after I met Ms. Chen and her husband FuShing. On the first night we met, I still did not know her husband, FuShing. When I saw Ms. Chen talking to FuShing on the phone, her face and her tone showed that they were even more intimate than a couple madly in love. When I knew they had been married for more than ten years, I was completely shocked. Such a relationship truly exists on earth! Long-married couples do not necessarily have ‘nothing left to tell each other’, and family relations is not necessarily the

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only thing left between them. The more I knew Ms. Chen, the more I believe a marriage can be good. Because of this belief, I got married. After a few consultation sessions with Ms. Chen, she understood my thoughts and helped me match with Ming. She thought he was the right person for me. At this time, she resolved Ming’s ideas about not marrying and encouraged me to take the initiative. This process was indeed a difficult challenge in my life. I had this stubborn mindset that women should always remain passive, never taking initiative to chase after guys. I found this prejudiced view could not be changed by any means. To ‘court’ this Ming, I had one nightmare after another for several consecutive nights. I practiced how to utter the words in my dreams, but in real life the words just wouldn’t come out. Ms. Chen saw my struggles, so she asked Ming to propose to me after working hard to change his mind about marriage. On that evening, after coming back on a bike, Ming asked me, “Ms. Chen suggested that we have our engagement party on February 14. Is it OK for you?” This is my husband’s marriage proposal! Staring at the shy big boy in front of me, who was saying the most unromantically romantic words in a proposal, I said “Yes.” Ms. Chen created our marriage. Then Ms. Chen was prepared to fly back to Taiwan to inform our parents on our behalf. At Los Angeles International Airport, I phoned my father to tell him the good news. I heard his calm voice with a stream of congratulations and good wishes through the phone. That was the first time I experienced the happiness of receiving blessing for my relationship with a man. I also felt my father’s unconditional love. Under the arrangements of the matchmaker of the century, our wedding ceremony went on smoothly. Of course some of my friends and relatives still found it difficult to react to my

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‘hasty marriage.’ I didn’t mind if everything apart from the wedding was left to their imagination. After all, my marriage was beyond description. After we got married, the true excitement began. We were not like those sweet newlyweds. We began a process of mutual adjustment, and this was the start of real-life wars. In the first stage, I was as cold as ice. I insisted on acting like an ‘emblematic traditional Chinese woman’, which meant that I endured as much as I could – with no ability to speak up whatsoever. I almost died in this ‘Ice Age’. Fortunately, Ms. Chen saved me before I was ‘frozen’ to death. She encouraged me to ’argue,’ helping me to break away from the shackles that only existed in my imagination. Then ice began to melt. After I began to quarrel with my husband, we officially entered the second stage, where argument could not be avoided. I seemed to be addicted to argument and was always ready to start a verbal fight. I actually abhorred myself ! Ms. Chen warned me not to argue any more. She wanted me to figure out how much credit was left in our ‘love bank.’ If we went on quarrelling like that, the little credit we had would become liabilities. All of a sudden, I was enlightened, and I decided to cease fire. Ms. Chen told me, “As long as both of you continue with your improvement, you will definitely be better and better. However, you have to survive this period of mutual adjustment. Once you get through, you’ll have a husband who’s the envy of everyone ten years later. A hard beginning makes a good ending. Do you want to try?” From that moment onward, I decided to begin improving myself and to strive to get through this tough grinding period. I clearly saw that I had been using the same incorrect way to fix my relationship. Only when I learned the correct way could I possibly have a happy marriage. It was the second year into our marriage. Ming and I were wandering on the streets of Los Angeles on a certain evening during the New Year holiday. I told him from the bottom of my heart that I would surely win his love before

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the end of that year. I didn’t know when I would succeed, but I had Ms. Chen’s advice in mind when I said that. In the middle of the year, Ming shared his thoughts with Ms. Chen via fax, “When I worked side by side with Novia in Taiwan and faced life’s challenges together, I realized that we were the only right person for each other. Nothing would part us.” The moment I knew this, I tasted the delight of gaining his love. All of my tears were turned into drops of joy. At one point, our marriage nearly became a joke. It was because of Ms. Chen’s vigorous effort that the tide turned. Our joke became a beautiful fairy tale. I remember living in Ms. Chen’s house for a while after I just got married. At that time, she tried her best to fix our marriage, and Ming said we had to turn the joke into a legend if we were to walk out of Ms. Chen’s house. It’s been seven years since we got married. We are closer to each other as time passed. I thoroughly understand why the power of two is greater than that of one. I also understand why a family has to be established before a career can be set up. A lover and a marriage make one steadier and more powerful. For example, my other half plays the crucial role of giving me spiritual support when I encounter difficulties. It’s really very good to be married. It is because of the persistence of our matchmaker that we can see the hope of marriage and taste its sweetness. Our matchmaker didn’t disappear after our wedding day, so we always remember to give her a ‘red envelope’ (the Chinese token monetary gift of appreciation) on our wedding anniversary. I’ll always show my gratitude to this matchmaker of the century. Because of her, miracles occurred in my life. I’ll always forever treasure the most precious gift she has given to me: the gift of love.

49

A Happy Marriage is Not Just a Dream

Life is Like a Prime Time Soap Opera Simon When it comes to marriage, it is an old subject in my life. It had been my parents’ nagging concern for me since I completed my military service at around 23. In fact from my early age, I had always wanted a girlfriend. However, at that time the society’s attitude toward romantic relationships was conservative, I gave up the idea when I saw couples become the laughing stocks of classmates or gossipy neighbors. During high school, my parents prevented my brother-in-law from introducing a girl to me on the grounds that she would distract me from my studies -- that remained an unhappy knot in my heart. Apart from these obstacles, my laziness was also a crucial factor in my poor romance record. After I started working, my older brother kept lecturing me on the importance of having a girlfriend and getting married. His lectures really pissed me off. Until then, I had been used to being single. To be honest, whenever I thought of the life of two people, I thought of a lot of trouble. Although marriage might bring some advantages, they could not lessen the effects of trouble. Therefore, I decided that the freedom of a single man was more attractive than extra problems – this was how I felt back then. Moreover, many girls in my office and many of my old female acquaintances viewed things so differently from me that I couldn’t possibly imagine myself being married to any of them. What’s more, their backgrounds were a far cry from mine! And I also heard that some men racked their brains to pick up hot girls. I felt extremely tired when hearing about those tricks. I might be in a

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relationship with a girl, but living with her? No way! I didn’t mean that I did not like the company of a beloved girl, but the potential problems that came with a relationship always beat me! Leave me alone! As a result, my reluctance to humble myself reduced my chance to know more girls and my laziness made me not making effort to get to know the girls I were interested in. Then the girls who were bold enough to show their love to me were not my type. Under such circumstances, I thought a man as picky and lazy as me would definitely have to wait for ages before he could get married. The tide turned in my trip to America three years ago. I had known Ms. Chen by then and was familiar with the fairytale romance between this matchmaker of the century and her husband, FuShing. I said ‘fairytale’ because their daily talks were often overtly sweet. I’ve seen them only three or four times in their daily life, and such romantic love is really unbelievable. At first I could hardly believe my eyes. However, I could no longer doubt their real love after I saw them behave the same way for more than half a year. I thought they were lucky to have such a lovely relationship. After Ms. Chen repeatedly mentioned many stories about how they strived to improve themselves for each other, I finally understood that their sweet marriage was created by both of them and that it was not a godsend. I started to wonder why I had been so picky. I was unattractive, unable to pursue my love, and as lazy as the laziest thing on earth. Why would anyone want to enter a relationship with me?! At that time I stopped shying away from marriage and thought seriously about Ms. Chen’s questions. She suggested some classmates who were studying with me in America as my potential partners. I refused. And I even tried to make up with my ex- girlfriend. In our renewed relationship, I deeply felt then the love story of ‘life and death’ typical of a prime time soap opera. It was not that our love was so deep and beautiful, it was just dealing with her emotional ups and downs while she was far away from me in Taiwan. One moment she was

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full of love for me, the next she doubted my love, and still the next she said she longed for a sense of security... Then, an illness changed my view on romantic relationships. The life of a student in America had put a lot of pressures on me. On top of this, my ex-girlfriend’s doubtful mind and lack of the sense of security really drove me crazy. I only understood at this moment that true love was unconditional. Ms. Chen spent a great deal of time and energy to help me make it through the difficult time. None of my emotional distress could escape the attention of this passionate consultant. The matchmaker of the century grabbed this opportunity to urge me to face the matter of marriage. To be honest, the standards I set at this time for my ideal wife was not the same as my previous ones. I focused on having the same goal as my future spouse so that we could base our relationship on mutual improvement. At a breakfast meeting, Ms. Chen told me about a suitable partner. I had never thought that during this casual conversation, I would decide to marry my wife – Little Sandy. In another place, she also showed her inclination to be my girlfriend. A few days later, when Little Sandy expressed her wish to be my girlfriend, I took the opportunity to propose to her. Before I knew Little Sandy, I would definitely choose a slender girl as my partner. But Little Sandy is plump. She is virtuous, willing to help others, gets along well with people and looks really cute. It was all because of this matchmaker of the century that our marriage vows could be exchanged When I decided to get married, my family members were not the only people who were shocked. Many of my classmates and friends jokingly asked me if I was trying to ‘take advantage’ of this girl. What’s funny is that many people (including my parents) insisted that we follow all due ceremonies for the sake of tradition. This contributed to a year-round chaos, and I finally understood why many couples who were about to marry were irritated and exhausted by these demands. At that time, I could not completely disengage myself from the mayhem. Although I was confused,

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I still thought a wedding, though ceremonious, should be simple. I was by nature quite lazy. I also felt a wedding needed not be so lengthy, wasting time and energy. I went through many ups and downs during the entire process, but after my parents saw Little Sandy, they were all smiles and every unpleasant experience was forgotten. Needless to say, the matchmaker of the century was a big contributor to our successful wedding. Since then, I no longer feel astonished when I hear about people’s hasty marriage, as marriage is as simple as mutual agreement and collective goals. I finally got married. Originally I was inclined to remain single, but under the persuasion of Ms. Chen I changed direction. No matter what others say, I really feel like being in a dream. However, I’m also happy that I’ve reached this stage. The feeling of being single is perhaps different from person to person, but the feeling of being married can only be experienced once you embrace and enter marriage. Because I am now a married man, I have the opportunity to understand the other half of the world’s population -- the opposite sex. Through close interaction with my wife, I now have the key to the other half of the world. I was not joking when I said I felt like being in dream. Occasionally I could not quite believe the fact that a person is sleeping next to me. What’s more, she is very willing and very happy to be with me. To me, the most magical part of a marriage is that a person is willing to stay with me. There are billions of people in the world, but she has chosen me, and I, unimaginably, her. Being with her is so wonderful and so simple. Were it not for Ms. Chen’s advice that the happiness of a marriage begins from one’s action, now I would probably still be criticizing my ex-girlfriends instead of improving my own abilities. Ms. Chen said that marriage is a process of learning how to serve another person. She is also working hard to create fun and surprises in her marriage. Ms. Chen believes that the relationship between Little Sandy and I will be

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better and better, which has given us a lot of confidence. And upon nearing a thousand days in my marriage, I see Ms. Chen’s words come true. I cannot deny the realization of her words. Little Sandy, my dear wife, thank you for your company and thank you for having me (a not-so-good guy) as your husband. I will work even harder to make myself better. Thank you, Ms. Chen, for helping me solved many difficult problems. You even personally help to remove obstacles for me. My steady marriage seems to fill a gap in my life. Based on this solid foundation, I can proceed at a steadier pace when I face my life. My perspective is changed and, as Ms. Chen may have said, “Marriage is a necessary road to live happily ever after.” Having been through all these, I’ll confirm to my single friends, “Yes, marriage is indeed the road to live happily ever after!”

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Give Love, Get Happiness Little Sandy I remember it happened when I was in Ms. Chen’s home. She suddenly told me that she wanted to introduce a potential partner to me, a man who was working at the Taiwan city of Yulon. At that time I had no thought other than “Oh, OK. I can wait until I see this guy.” Ms. Chen had taught me that I could marry anyone, so I did not oppose her proposal. After that, Simon came to America. A long time slipped past when my heart started to beat for him. At that time we had classes in school, went jogging together every evening, and did exercises together. However, he already had a girlfriend and wished to marry her. I did not want to cause any disturbances to their relationship, so I was quite content to stay in the same apartment with him (we stayed together with other students), listen to his sweet talk with his girlfriend and chat with him once in a while, I felt quite happy to know him that way. When Simon broke up with his girlfriend, I had more opportunities to chat with him and get to know him. In fact, it was me who fell in love first. This made me very proud because in my previous relationships I was always the one being courted. In such a situation, I did not really love my suitors. Till now, I’m still proud of having taken the initiative in my relationship with Simon. After all, I took the action, created opportunities, and showed my care for him because I really loved him. I should not always be a passive person who waits for the arrival of suitors. Ms. Chen is a great matchmaker who realized my marriage. Without her, this marriage could not be possible. Her help was even more valuable after I got married. Without her, I may have gotten divorced. One evening, I decided to take my own responsibility and ask Simon how he

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felt about me. Is there any possibility of our being boyfriend and girlfriend? I took a walk with Simon that evening, and a miracle happened! After walking for quite a while, I made up my mind to ask him what he thought about being together. I did not expect that after I uttered these words, he apologized for not having opened his mouth first, and he asked for my hand. He had even decided on the date and restaurant of the wedding. I was totally surprised! What an unexpected answer! I did not think the Simon would be so quick in settling everything! I finally knew that he was in Ms. Chen’s home because he was discussing our wedding with her! Having thought things over, I happily said “Yes” to his proposal, and our marriage was all set. After several years in marriage, I still have the same love for him as I had in the beginning. I am grateful that Ms. Chen knew Simon was the right man for me the first time she saw him. She worked hard to bring us together. Until today, I am still delighted to have such a lovely husband and feel blessed to have married him. In our marriage, I am normally not the person who is active in talking and communicating, but my husband is. After a few tries, I can now enjoy myself in our exciting chatter. After I got married, I became more stable and had better performance at work. Since I entered the life of two persons, I’ve found more power to help me and support me. I have also discovered that one plus one is greater than two. My strength has not simply doubled – it has multiplied! I was a bit muddle-headed at the beginning of my marriage, but as time passed, I become more and more stable, more and more confident, and very happy. My husband dotes on me and tries his best to make me happy. In the blink of the eye, three years have passed. We love each other and improve ourselves together. A person feels satisfied and content when he can give his dedication

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towards care of something or someone. When I had 1% intention and extended my hand, Ms. Chen made my wish come true with 99% effort. She really deserves the name of ‘the matchmaker of the century’. I’m full of gratitude. I’ll always remember the great wonder that happened in my life!

57

The Prince’s and Princess’ Happily-Ever After

A Prince that Needs Courage Maso I have been looking forward to a happy marriage since I was young. Perhaps that’s because I loved reading fairytales! A fairytale ending more often than not goes like this, “And the prince and the princess lived happily ever after”. This was my ideal marriage. However, after attending a seminar about marriage, I found that this ideal ending was also on many people’s minds. One day, my mom drew me aside and asked me, “If Mom and Dad don’t live together anymore, who do you want to live with?” I was still a naïve child back then. I started to cry because I did not understand why my mom and dad were going to live in separate homes. This incident made me want a happy marriage even more, but I also became disillusioned with the endings of fairytales. What my mom told me summed up a real-life situation! When I began to doubt marriage, a girl entered my life. Ayumi was a junior classmate of mine in university. She tried to get closer to me through her network of contacts, by fair means or foul. As a result, we soon began dating. A few days into our relationship, I told her solemnly that I dated with girls only because of wanting to get married. Unexpectedly, she said “OK”. I can’t believe it! We were engaged just like this! When I was doing my military service, I heard an instructor say that “the only difference between getting married and not is that piece of marriage certificate.” After thinking it over, I found his words were quite right! Thus the idea of not getting married began to take root in my mind. After I completed

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the military service, my girlfriend was still with me. I was deeply moved that she had not left me during the previous two years, but I still did not want to get married as I felt getting married was not that easy. Later at my colleague’s suggestion, I came to take self-improvement courses at Heart Bridge Consulting Company, where many of my problems in life were solved. Because Ayumi was needy and clingy, I took her with me to Heart Bridge to take courses together. As soon as Ms. Chen knew I brought my girlfriend, she wanted me to marry her immediately. She even told me to make a decisive decision and have the wedding held in the next month! I was astonished upon hearing her suggestion, so I quickly rejected by listing all the reasons why it was not suitable for me to enter marriage just yet, giving reasons like: I lacked any financial backing, had no secure job, was too young, and had no time to prepare for the wedding etc. Nevertheless, after Ms. Chen dissected each of these statements, I found that none of them could be an obstacle to our getting married. The only thing that mattered was: “Do I love my present girlfriend?” As long as I was sure about this, no other factors were a problem. Of course I loved Ayumi! Besides, Ayumi had agreed to marry me. What remained was my action. I asked Ayumi, “Do you really want to get married?” She answered, “Of course!” I was delighted to hear that, but an invisible pressure appeared. I said to her, “But I now think the only difference between getting married and not is just that piece of marriage certificate. Besides, our present life is perfectly right! No pressure is imposed on us.” Then I disagreed with Ayumi on every single remark she made. I pushed her further and further away from me, and we dropped the subject. I was pretty certain about the whereabouts of my princess, but the prince suddenly became hesitant. Why? I later could see that I was not willing to take the responsibility or face the problems. I did not want to assume the responsibility for both of us, and I did not dare to accept the fact that I was penniless and that I had to mention our marriage to my parents. After I saw where my problems laid, I decided to get married – this was my first step to success. Then I said to my girlfriend, who is now my wife, “We

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can get married now. There’s nothing to stop us.” When I saw her smiley face, I knew this was the best choice I had ever made in my life. Now I could hold nothing back and do everything to love my wife and dote on her without feeling that I might have lost anything -- because she is my wife and we are one, I will be great when she is well, and her well-being is my happiness. Before we got married, we were separate persons; after we got married, we became a complete whole. We had never experienced the happiness of striving for the same goal before marriage. My marriage also overthrew the wrong idea which had been inculcated into me since I was little. My wife and I are now more in love, have more trust in each other, and enjoy a wider range of freedom than we have had before getting married. Ms. Chen not only has advised us on marriage matters, but she has also helped us to gain happiness. I no longer envy the prince and the princess, as we are now happier than them!

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Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother’s Dreams Come

True Ayumi When I was little, I adored looking at brides and admiring their beauty. I was constantly picturing the scene where I and my beloved would enter the banquet hall. I had been in a relationship with Maso since I was a freshman, and I was always expecting the time would come when I could wear a white dress, put on my wedding ring, and spend the rest of my life with Maso. This goal seemed quite close to me, but it was in reality very far away. Gradually my passion for marriage cooled. After I graduated, I began to be busy with my work. One day, Maso and I went past a bridal salon on our way home. I blurted the question out, “When are we getting married?” Maso replied that we should at least wait until he’s past thirty. He wanted to consider getting married after he saved enough money. Although I felt a strong impulse to get married, I controlled it with all my might. I told myself, “OK. Let’s wait! I’ll think about this matter six or seven years later, after I’m past thirty.” Then we dropped the subject. The next time we considered getting married was after we took courses at the self-improvement center Heart Bridge Consulting Company. The hand behind our marriage was Ms. Chen. It was her who helped me realize my dream.. Ms. Chen expressed her wish to be my matchmaker the first time she saw me. At first, Maso was a bit resistant to marriage when she mentioned it to us. Although he was a bit reluctant, he finally agreed to get married. When my mom knew I had made up my mind, she was unwilling to see me get married.

However, I took a firm stand in this matter.

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 We became husband and wife and began on our journey to happiness. With Ms. Chen’s continuous advice, our relationship became better and better. I remember an incident that took place not long after we got married. At that time, both of us were unhappy because I was not satisfied with Maso’s job. Ms. Chen taught me to support whatever he wanted to do. Women should give men what they desire and learn to really care for their dreams. I suddenly woke up to the fact that a wife should make her husband comfortable and happy, otherwise her husband would think he had married a grumpy, inconsiderate wife. From then on, the love between Maso and I continue to grow. Ms. Chen’s reminders have completely changed my original thought about marriage. I now know that marriage is not about living in one’s own world but living in the world of two persons. The partnership is life-long. When I said “I do” and allowed my beloved man to put on a ring for me, I also decided to have this man as my life-long partner. No matter what, I would always continue to make him the happiest man in the world. I’m truly blessed to have a husband. The luckiest thing that could ever happen to a woman is the possession of a man’s affectionate love. This incredible marriage took shape under Ms. Chen’s arrangements. She realized my dream about having a marriage like the happy ending of romantic novels. If I were Cinderella, Ms. Chen would be my Fairy Godmother. No matter how many obstacles may be ahead, I know my marriage will remain very sweet. Thank you, my Fairy Godmother and my great, kind super matchmaker. 

62

Help Me, Help You

Even a Computer Geek Can Have True Love Pia

 

When I got married, I was 32. Originally I thought I would be quite old when I got married or that I would never get married. My idea about marriage was that I could only enter it when I found the ‘right’ person. However, what I saw in real life was the opposite of my idea of finding Ms Right -- there were concealment, deception, betrayal, and refusal to communicate. It kept challenging my naïve belief about marriage. Consequently, I began to doubt the existence of true love in this world. Is it really necessary to get married? Do romantic plots only exist in films or soap operas? Despite of my doubts, I still got married in the end. What’s more, I had not expected to marry this partner. When I told my friends and colleagues that I was going to get married, typical reactions were like these: “April Fool’s Day hasn’t arrived!”, “Find a better reason if you want to trick me!”, and “Son of a bitch! Are you getting married with your right hand?” They could hardly believe it, and I also found it difficult to explain. I could not blame them because their impression of me was that I was a workaholic who worked at night, slept during the day and dressed like a slob. Most importantly, they had never heard of me being in a relationship. If I did not have a girlfriend, how could I get married? With whom? That’s right. This is indeed difficult to give a satisfactory explanation. It’s as difficult as running nude down the street while reminding others that you are

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not a pervert. When others stared at me with a dubious, derisive look, I could only produce my red wedding invitations to bomb them back to reality. I wanted to break the news to them that a stay-at-home computer geek like me can have true love. My wife is my first girlfriend. We were still separated when we decided to get married. There are many things about our relationship that I can’t bear to recall, but my point here is that spending the rest of my life with her was the last thing on my mind. My dad once complained to me, “When I found you a good partner, you said no; when I asked you to go on a blind date, you also said no. It’s better to tell the truth. Are you still in a relationship with Victoria?” I forced a smile and answered, “No. Even if I’m getting married, I won’t pick her.” One cannot be so pig-headed. My present wife is none other than Victoria. If you encounter my wife now, you’ll see an elegant pretty lady with a slim figure, and you will tell me that I can’t possibly ask for anything more when I have such a wife. I understand every single word you say, because I had similar feelings when I first cast my eyes on her ten years ago. I knew she would definitely become a lady, but I have to admit that the Victoria back then was a far cry from the Victoria now. Today’s Victoria has risen like a phoenix from the ashes. She has been through countless trials and tribulations, and she’s now no longer the indignant Victoria who preferred sighing in the corner, melancholic and hating the world. The reason why I broke up with her was because I knew I could not continue dating with a partner in whom I saw no future together with her. The ‘future’ I am referring to had nothing to do with her education, her wealth or her appearance. I meant an ability to better herself and improve herself. I’m not going to list all of Victoria’s shortcomings. Criticism is not the point. I only want you to know that I did not like her temperament when we were

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dating. I couldn’t stand her. I had wanted to change the situation, so I tried to do something, either to make her happy, or to relieve her emotional pressure, or to create more common bonds between us. However, I failed at last.

There was no way of transforming her, and I even blamed myself for it – I felt bad because I couldn’t even improve the relationship between my own girlfriend and myself. That was a strong sense of frustration and powerlessness, so when I couldn’t hang on to the struggle anymore, I chose to leave her. I did not give her a clear reason when I left, as I did not even know what it was. I only knew that we could not continue. I’ve known Victoria for ten years. During this period, we broke up and made up three times (four times according to my wife). Every time we made up, I knew that all previous problems were still there, so the same situation would happen again. However, my biggest weakness was that I could not harden my heart to reject her. I felt extremely miserable in these emotional entanglements. I remembered saying to Victoria once, “Leave me. Don’t ever come back again.” My heart ached with extreme sadness the moment I said these words. I knew I still loved her, but when I was left helpless, I had to save myself even if I could not save her. Even after we broke up, Victoria and I were still good friends. I knew her latest news at work and what lessons she was taking. On the Christmas Day in 2005, I drove her to the airport for a flight to America. This was a big turning point in her life – because she at last made up her mind to change herself. Although I did not glean much information from her on our way to the airport, I could feel her determination and pressure. I knew something dramatic about her was going to happen even if I was not sure what it was. I even had a feeling that the next time I saw this girl, it would be at her wedding. From then on, we might go our separate ways in life. At this moment, a deep sense of sadness and loss suddenly occupied my mind.

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 I said to her quietly in my mind, “Good bye. I’ll give you all my best wishes.” Two or three months after Victoria went abroad, I got a phone call. I was told that Ms. Hellen Chen, the CEO of Heart Bridge Consulting Company (where Victoria was having her lessons), wanted to dine with me. At first, I did not fully understand why Ms. Chen wanted to meet with me. I only knew it might be related to Victoria. When I first met Ms. Chen, I was amazed by her relaxed, enthusiastic and firm temperament. More importantly, she was such an elegant lady! By instinct I knew this lady in front of me was a relentless person – in fact, the word ’relentless’ was not appropriate to describe her enthusiasm. She told me why she came and asked me about the problems betweenVictoria and I. Ms. Chen told me, “Victoria has set a goal for herself. That is, she wants to get married by the end of this year. As she hopes that you’ll be the husband, I have to know what you think.” In the end, she also said, “Perhaps in the past you and Victoria had encountered many insolvable problems, but I swear on my reputation that Victoria will have changed to your liking. Are you willing to give her a chance at marriage?” At this moment I could not find an appropriate answer because I was afraid that history would repeat itself. How could I gamble my whole life on her when my brain was full of terrible memories? That was riskier than playing the game of Russian roulette! Now I cannot explain what made me nod my head because my brain was like a sticky mass. But one thing was certain: I believed in Ms. Chen, not Victoria. I was not clear about what intensive bridal training Ms. Chen had given Victoria, but the moment I saw Victoria after she came back from America, I knew she must have been through some tough training. However, that was not the end of her tough time because the reform movement had only reached the halfway point. 

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On our way back to Taipei from Taoyuan airport, I carefully observed her effort, her determination, her transformation, and her excitement about the upcoming wedding. As always, she did most of the talking, and I did most of the listening. I was uneasy because I was still not sure if I could spend the rest of my life with this woman. The wedding was only two weeks away, and I hadn’t even seen her parents. Fortunately, even the most uncomfortable situation was smoothed away. I’m truly grateful for the help of Ms. Chen. Because of her, I had the luxury of just being a groom. I did almost nothing other than showing up. I did not have to trouble myself with any of the due ceremonies. However, Victoria and I had the biggest fights one month before and after the wedding ceremony. I was really upset by these fights. In the past, despite feeling powerlessness, we never had any serious rows. During our preparation for the wedding ceremony, in contrast, we could turn the whole world upside down because of a trivial matter. If one had to go through such dramatic changes in marriage, I’d rather give it up, as this was not what I wanted. One month after we got married – I sent Victoria abroad again for a second ‘reform’. I finally felt relieved. Let me just put aside this unpleasant experience and not talk about it. Marriage has actually helped me understand many things, whereas these things were not comprehensible before I got married. I began to understand the people and things around her and her work environment. In the past, she was like a tree to me. I could only see things above the ground. After I got married, I had the chance to uproot the tree and see the entire picture. I was able to see why this tree might be growing or withering. This was like travelling into unchartered territory. I finally understood why I kept failing in my attempts to change her – because I only thought of changing her without knowing there was more to her. I was too naïve when I wanted to change a person without knowing this unknown area of a person. I began to reflect on the idea proposed by Ms. Chen. She emphasized that

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‘love and romance come after the marriage’ and I realized that this is the most direct way to deal with problems. Before I got married, I had my own blind spots about Victoria no matter how much I thought I knew her. More often than not, these blind spots triggered our breakups. Everyone has his own blind spot, which he is not willing to confront. People think problems will disappear when they close their eyes or when they change a girlfriend. As a matter of fact, if the problems are not solved, the same mistake will repeat no matter how many partners a person changes. Many of my friends keep making the same or similar mistake in their relationships. This is the result of their reluctance to confront problems. Having said that, however, marriage is not a cure-all. Marriage just makes me see things which I did not notice before. To harvest the sweet fruit of marriage, you must dedicate yourself to it. When someone has little desire to manage a relationship and is complaining about his/her marriage and his/her partner, you can ask this person how much he/she has done for the relationship. In the past I had thought not getting married was perfectly OK because I could be happy on my own. I could do whatever I pleased and enjoyed the freedom. However, I also understood that I had to taste all the happiness and bitterness on my own and fight the biggest enemy: solitude. In addition, I would never have the chance to experience the sweetness and improvement of a two-person life. Solitude could often calm me down, so in fact I did not hate it. However, having no one to share my feelings was dreadful. I couldn’t ask my friends to listen to me anytime I needed their company. To me, marriage is a tough course that trains me to maintain the space of two persons. I need my own space, and we have found the balance between being a couple and being two individuals. As we reach more common realities and consensus about life, I know more about the advantages of getting married. Achieving a common consensus is not compromising oneself. It must make

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both sides happy and comfortable. With the common consensus, we slowly developed tacit understanding that transcended beyond words. Thus our hearts ‘beat in unison,’ as the saying goes. This sort of feeling cannot be experienced if you live alone. Another thing about marriage that makes me happy is ‘change,’ which I know is the change initiated by one party for the comfort of the other. My wife is more and more skilled at putting on makeup each day and changes her style on a daily basis for me, so that I won’t get tired of seeing her only in one style. To give her something back in return, I made my words kind and nice, and make myself more decent in front of her, no longer act like a computer geek who has no social skills whatsoever. These great feelings just become stronger and stronger as days pass. They’ve never disappeared. If I were not married, what would I be? I don’t know. Maybe I would be working overtime, sleeping at 3 or 4am, all day surfing the net for information, or spending lots of time with a not-so-bad woman and trying to find out what she’s thinking about. Or, I would possibly be travelling to an unknown place just to make myself forget certain things… These ideas do not sound too bad. But I know they are not what I want. My wish is fairly simple. That is, I want to find a ’right’ person, accompany her to the end of time, and talk to her every day and have so much joy together. Now I understand that if I don’t face those problems, the ‘right’ person will never appear no matter who I’m in a relationship with. This is why Ms. Chen had asked me to get married with Victoria. Facing problems in a relationship is the action of two people, so the situation will not be improved when there is only one person involved. After you get married, neither of you can evade your responsibilities. The bad excuse “Let’s break up if we can’t get along” is no longer applicable, unless you get married simply because you want to trick your friends and family for the sake of receiving monetary benefits. 

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There are many beautiful, fairytale love stories in films and novels. In this society, tips on how to manage a relationship are provided by a wide range of experts. However, the only thing you need to do is to make up your mind to better yourself. Only until then can you get the opportunity to feel the beauty of improving together with two persons. This last paragraph is for my wife, Victoria. I can understand your determination when you gave up everything to go to America. I know that even if the groom who attended the wedding had not been me, you would still have gotten married. But I also know how you felt when you said, “I’m so happy that the man is you.” I’m pleased to have you as the woman of my life. It’s so good to have you with me on this long beautiful journey.

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The Life-Changing Bride Training Course Victoria Marriage is a miracle to me. I’m the person who attended Ms. Chen’s bride training course twice. These two tough sessions have completely changed my life. In the past, love was difficult to get even if I could sense it. It was a nightmare which I struggled to fight with. To me, sweet love was a luxury which I could never have. Not to mention marriage. Everything I had been through and everything I had seen all led to the same conclusion: marriage is ineffective, marriage is a dead end! Having a husband in my life was the last thing on my mind. Never! However, I did have experience in having a boyfriend, despite the fact that it was a terrible tragedy. Thinking back, it strikes me that this woman – Ms. Chen, the CEO of Heart Bridge Consulting – is really a superwoman. When I met her, she told me, “Victoria, bring the man you like. Let’s talk about your marriage.” My jaw almost dropped when I heard these words. There were two reasons for my surprise. First, how did she know I have a man that I like? Second, why was she so bold as to talk about marriage with me? Then, my world began spinning. He was the guy who had broken up and made up with me four times.He had exhausted ten years of his life being with me, but he was not my Mr. Right. I never thought he was. So, I did not give him my full attention. I just kept daydreaming about my Mr. Right. Later, another significant change shook me up. I had been a workaholic. But after meeting Ms Chen, I started to re-look at my life. I discovered that I had never had a real goal. The reason why I was so dedicated to my work was because I had nothing else left in my life. This re-assessment of my life was a secret gift from Superwoman. Those who had known me for a long time were certain that I would always be an

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indignant tomboy. Well, even I thought so. I was a tomboy who did not dress up, did not put on makeup, and had an unattractive figure and bad manners. I thought I was beyond hope of repair. My work was the only thing that gave me a little bit of reward, so I hung onto it! However, I was on the brink of collapse. You wouldn’t have seen any signs because I was so good at hiding my emotions that everyone in the world was fooled by me. But I knew my heart was bleeding. There was only one person in the wide world who understood me, and that person was the Superwoman ‘Hellen Chen’. When she saved me, I was dying. She brought me to America. This was an action that I wouldn’t have dreamed of taking. My heart was still as dead as wood, and nothing could interest me. I was at most like a living dead. I could only walk and cry. At a certain point, I asked myself: “For how long am I going to keep up the façade?” Again, this Superwoman saw through my hopelessness right away. She identified exactly what were my problems and asked me directly, “Victoria. You’re to be married on June 17. Who do you want to pick for your gloom?” To my surprise, this time my jaw didn’t drop. Instead, I had an impulse to embrace her and tell her, “Thank you for being my matchmaker, thank you for helping me, and thank you for discovering the dormant desires in my mind…” From that moment onward, I began my bride training course and my new life. My entire mindset was also changed. I was a new person from within. Even my dad, my mom, and my good friends who grew up with me could hardly believe their eyes. They thought I would never become a pretty lady as I had been a tomboy for more than 30 years. Later when my dad saw my wedding photo, he smiled broadly, discussing with my granddad and trying to convince himself that the figure in the photo was really me. This was the first time that I felt from the bottom of my heart that it was wonderful to be beautiful. 

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In Ms. Chen I see an absolute truth: “Happiness is created by the person who wants to enjoy it.” She practiced what she preached, showing me how to be a feminine woman and a pretty, caring wife. I never knew my past refusal of marriage is a type of non-freedom. I firmly denied the need of marriage because I never knew it could be sweet and I also didn’t know how to manage a relationship. Fortunately, now I’ve got a chance to wake up. Although I had been together with my husband for ten years before we got married, real flaws and imperfections were brought into view after our marriage. I didn’t really understand him, and he had a lot of questions about me. The thing that was most tormenting and difficult was that I didn’t even know what was in me that made him uncomfortable. We were totally missing focus with each other in our conservation and have little understanding. As I was skeptical by nature, I began to doubt if he was really my Mr. Right. (Yes, that is my doubt again!) Then, I took the bride training course for the second time. Ms. Chen brought me to America again. This time she said, “Victoria, your performance at work was excellent. You’re also popular among friends. However, if your husband is unhappy, your marriage cannot be good, and you cannot really be happy.” She also told me that if I wanted a happy marriage, I needed to change myself. The standards of how good I should be is not determined by myself, but by my husband. Ms. Chen’s gentleness melted my obstinacy in the end. I could not put into words her devotion and perseverance. However, it was because of her perseverance (which is really extraordinary) that I can enjoy happiness and a high-quality marriage now. She keeps her words and is still guarding our love. Along the way, she has taught me how to care my husband, how to love him, as well as how to dedicate myself. 

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It is easy to find a master to write books for you to read, but it is difficult to find a master to teach you by personal hands-on guidance. The change of my thoughts became the most important asset in life. “What do I want my life to be?” I did not know before, but now I know. When I changed the way I thought, my world also changed. My Mr. Right is now with me every day. He cries with me, laughs with me, and listens to my singing. I had never dared to dream that I could fall asleep with my arms around my Mr. Right, but now -- dreams come true! Thinking of the declaration on our wedding invitation “May you be my prince and I your princess,” I will always remember that the happiness of the prince and princess is not a godsend – it is the result of hard work.

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Even if There is No Blessing, I’ll Still Pursue My Happiness

Getting Married is All About a Simple Willingness Jack I’m very amazed by the intricate workmanship of Ms. Chen, who has carved an excellent, perfect wife for me. I’m deeply touched and full of gratitude. Were it not for her perseverance, support and active mediation, I wouldn’t have married Janet. Janet lost the courage to marry again after she got divorced. It was because of Ms. Chen that she was able to go through the difficult time. Among all my acquaintances, no one can make a quicker judgment that is so insightful and so well-grounded as Ms. Chen. I discovered that I had been afraid of marriage and the responsibility that came with it. I never gave any promise to the girls I had dated with. Such a behavior was a typical example of irresponsibility. In the end, these girls left me one by one without telling me why. This is a life-time lesson: if I don’t face a problem, it will continue to manifest itself over and over, like a vicious circle, and in the end, I will end up ‘dead’ without knowing why! Janet and I try our best to practice what Ms. Chen says, “Love and romance come after the marriage.” We truly enjoy our married life. I know I’m not a humorous person, but when I tell a joke – intentionally or unintentionally – and Janet split her sides, I feel happiness and content that cannot be bought with money. Now I’m pretty sure that I’ll make my wife happy. To me, marriage is a wise

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choice because it has broadened my horizons, allowing me to experience things that can only be done with another person. My life now is a lot more interesting than when I was single. I used to have an incorrect idea. I thought that the idea of establishing family and setting up one’s career meant that a great deal of money had to be made before one could get married. I thought such a marriage would be happy, at least we would not be lack of money and possessions. However, I later found that this wasn’t true. My experience over the years showed that I was wrong. I didn’t manage to make enough money for supporting a marriage or a wife, and I was still single. I realized that in fact, marriage is all about ‘willingness’ – willing to take responsibility for life! As soon as I understood this point, I got married! Of course I have to thank Ms. Chen. Her skillful mediating and intelligent arrangements made our happy marriage possible. I now know the advantages and happiness of getting married first and improving ourselves together later. It is only possible to make sufficient money when two people work hard together. I have never imagined that I would enjoy such a heavenly life after I got married. Both of us share all the joys and sorrows together – and yet never break down our relationship and trust in each other. I was once afraid of embracing marriage, but now I’m totally immersed in my marital bliss. I once felt depressed because I did not know how to improve my life, but now I’ve seen a brand new world with my wife Janet, who also helped me to improve myself by introducing me to take courses at Heart Bridge Consulting. My wish does come true! I’m indebted to the super matchmaker who has found a wife for me. She gave me unimaginable happiness and an exciting future filled with endless possibilities.

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Taking Full Responsibility for One’s Happiness Janet It’s been nearly half a year since Jack and I have been together. Looking back on it, I still think it was a thrilling adventure. To ordinary people, it must almost be a mission impossible! There was only a gap of half a year between my getting divorce and getting married again. Without Ms. Chen’s wisdom, determination and company, I would not have attained the happiness as I have. In the past, I was a mean, unattractive, critical woman who was not willing to take responsibility. I was timid and cowardly, expecting to get sympathy and demanding others to help me. I was living in my own world. I had never really enjoyed the sweet fruit of a romantic relationship or a happy marriage. I had never cherished my hard - earned love or managed my marriage well. I never fulfilled the promise to upkeep my marriage. I was only happy on my wedding day. I believe there are many single men and women in the world who resist marriage because they’re afraid of it. They become a group of people who decide never to get married. However, I think this is problematic. I was the type of person who would ‘escape’ from responsibility. I escaped from my own family and hid myself in my husband’s home. Wherever I was, I was never willing to face my weaknesses and failure. The problems were still with me even in my marriage. In those days when I was with Ms. Chen in America, I finally understood that I had to be faithful to my original dreams and love my marriage and my husband. Therefore, I began my studies and started my training. Ms. Chen once said, “If you don’t fix your own problems, you’ll never be happy even if you get married for the Nth time.” When I decided to embrace a new marriage after divorce, I knew I was serious about this marriage. I wished to take full responsibility for my own happiness. I had to begin all over again. I had to learn how to deal with my previous failed marriage and how to manage a new marriage. The response I got in the letter from home was entirely what I had expected. My family could not

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come to terms with my decision. They thought I was an irresponsible mother and a disrespectful child. When I wanted to be a virtuous person again and be faithful to my beloved, I was despised and attacked by the whole world. Even Ms. Chen was criticized unjustly. During the entire process, I struggled and I feared. I was struggling with the fact that I was going to enter a new marriage, and I was fearful that I would not have the courage to go through potential difficulties. My betrayal record made me afraid that my partner might betray. I longed for love but was afraid of accepting it. These fears were the results of my initial mistakes, so I had to face the trials and tribulations myself. Luckily, Ms. Chen was always by my side from the very beginning. She helped me solve problems as they came along. I was no longer troubled by difficult issues. With Ms. Chen’s moral support, I didn’t feel scared even if a problem popped up. Because of her, I had the courage to begin a new marriage. Ms. Chen made me understand that I would have a happy marriage as long as I had the willingness and the determination. With a happy marriage, I can have a better future. I clearly remember my second wedding day. I was perhaps older than I had been ten years back, but my mind was young. I felt like I had been a maiden who got married for the first time. I felt joyous and delighted. It was like sniffing the subtle scent of flowers. I knew I would spend my future life with a man whom I love and who loves me. No matter how difficult the road ahead of us was going to be, we would steadfastly keep going on together. In the eyes of others, my marriage might look like child’s play. They thought I got divorce and got married as I pleased. However, they could not understand and could not believe that my marriage with Jack was not for our own happiness alone. There was a greater significance behind! I saw Ms. Chen fight against suppressive traditional value systems and social conventions side by side with Jack and I. She did not care for the risk of her own life. The unhappy marriages of our elders and the contemporary misunderstanding about sex almost made everyone involved crazy. No one was willing to take the responsibility and act for the best. Only Ms. Chen was

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willing to rush forward into the dangerous battlefield with a helmet on. She did not care about the dangers lying ahead of her. It was because I understood Ms. Chen’s efforts that I was willing to disregard all obstacles. I’m now able to live a more virtuous life and to serve other people. I want to make them as happy as I am. I can imagine that some day in the future, the world will be brighter and more beautiful because there’re more happy people. Allow me to thank you again, Ms. Chen. Thank you for hosting the wedding for me and Jack. It was truly like fighting in a battle! You fully deserve the name: the Matchmaker of the Century.

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This Second Marriage Makes Me Complete

I Change, Therefore the World Changes Johnson Three years ago, Ms. Chen once suggested that I get married with Irene. At that time, I said, “No” because I was not prepared to get married again. In addition, I had always thought that I had to be well- accomplished in my business before I could get married! I wanted to make a lot of money and buy a house. Only then could I support my wife. If not, we would definitely get divorced again! I was very afraid of getting divorced and also of having an unhappy marriage. Besides, I was not willing to be controlled by another person. I wanted to go wherever I liked and do whatever I liked. In that way, I did not have to consider the other person’s thoughts and feelings. I also felt I hadn’t enjoyed my single life to the fullest. How appealing the colorful world was! Therefore, when Ms. Chen wanted me to get married again, I thought, “How can I lose my freedom so easily? I don’t want to experience the suffering of a failing marriage!” and so I tell myself, ‘No, I can’t promise her!” As a result, I said no to Ms. Chen’s suggestion. Three years later, I found I was wrong, completely wrong. During this period, I didn’t become more mature or do better in my business. I didn’t get the house I wanted, and I didn’t have any woman that I fell in love at first sight. Nothing! Everything was as it had been three years back. You could say I had wasted the entire three years. I let myself loose on excessive drinking and having casual relationships with girls. My life was a mess. More

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often than not, I didn’t eat well, nor did I sleep well. As a result, I was lifeless and inactive. Although I was in the company every day, I was not interested to work but only thinking about eating and playing. My company sank deeper into debt, and I was even more afraid of getting married. To me at that time, I couldn’t promise any happiness to any woman. So when Ms. Chen mentioned getting married with Irene again three years later, I was confused. At that moment, I was troubled by another relationship, so I had mixed feelings and was at a loss. Which one should I choose? The one I love but with whom there’re no future? Or the one I don’t really know whether I would love or not but who can perhaps give me hope and make me mature? At that time, I was completely stuck in this dilemma. At last, Ms. Chen intervened to help me. She analyzed and calculated all probabilities until I was fully clear about the real situation. I finally understood everything and made a decision – choosing Irene. Then, we got married. On my wedding day, I experienced the happiness and hope I had not experienced in my previous marriage because I foresaw that my wife and I would have many happy moments together in the future. We could learn together, grow up together and we shared the same philosophies of life! At that moment, I was really very happy. I believed I would be the luckiest man in the world. Since I got married, I’ve had many sweet moments to go back to in my memory. Although there were some arguments, yet they offered opportunities for us to discover our problems. We told each other how we felt every time we had a quarrel. We also felt each other’s concern for each other whenever we argued. Therefore, the more disagreements we had, we found that our relationship could withstand more trials and tribulations -- because we were willing to communicate with and understand each other. Another result was that our marriage became sweeter and sweeter. During this period, I always felt my wife’s love and tender care. I couldn’t

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describe how touched I was. Looking back on it, I find that marriage has changed and improved me a lot. I’ve become happier, healthier, steadier, more energetic and now have more courage to face difficulties. I am also more hopeful and more talkative. All these changes are possible because I got married. They’ve increased my understanding about my own life. I change, therefore the world changes. Because of marriage, my perspective on life is different! People should really get married as early as possible. In this way, they can learn how to interact with another person. Through the management of a marriage, people can really learn a lot about many things Because Irene and I are from different families, we have different characters and different ideas. As you can imagine, many problems do occur after we get married. However, it is because of these problems that I can improve myself in many aspects. I also enjoy the happiness that I have never experienced before. I’m happy that I have chosen Irene. After we got married, we have the same goal and think in the same way, so we can face any difficulties. We always communicate to understand each other. And because we’re improving and becoming better individually each day, my life is filled with touching moments. I am happy, joyous and complete. Isn’t this the kind of marriage I used to dream about? Isn’t it what I have always longed to obtain?

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Leaving Pain Behind, Life Becomes Complete Irene Although I appeared to be eager to pursue another lover, a real- life romance and a trustworthy other half, yet an inner voice kept disturbing me. It triggered my fear about my past failure, the pain I suffered from the last divorce and my lack of self-confidence. This feeling had a great influence on my work and my life, but I didn’t know where it came from. Fortunately, Ms. Chen understood my situation more than I did. She not only knew how profound the impact of divorce had on my self-confidence; she also knew what kind of man would be suitable for me. It was three years ago when Ms. Chen mentioned to me that she wanted to be my matchmaker. The partner she suggested was Johnson, who was three years my junior. The first thought that appeared in my mind was, “I don’t accept a man who’s younger than me!” The second thought was, “I thought he wasn’t good enough for me.” I admit I was full of myself back then. In fact, my heart had been afflicted by my past failure in love relationships and marriage. It was so broken that I had an inexplicable resistance to marriage. However, Ms. Chen spared no effort to communicate with me, helping me to face my own problems faithfully. Although I always put on a grim face, I knew her advice was slowly taking root in my mind. In the next two years, I observed Johnson secretly. One day in a seminar, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling: it seemed that Johnson was still the right person for me after my long search. However, I could not humble myself to express this feeling. In the July two years after we met, Ms. Chen pinpointed my problems on our way from a movie trip back to the workplace. She analyzed my problems and encouraged me to take the first step. With her help, I was really going to face and solve my own problems! Finally I also made up my mind to get married before the end of the year and began a new life.

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 After Ms. Chen opened this door for me, I found I was changed. I began to take action, asking Johnson if he was willing to accept me. I didn’t hear him say no, so I was happy that at least he didn’t refuse me! After talking with each other several times, we understood more about each other. One week later, Johnson said YES to my marriage proposal. We also decided on the date of the wedding ceremony. After the date was decided, both of us felt that our hearts are now together, going for the same goal. Although we had to face doubts raised by our friends and relatives, we easily solved the problems with our determination and Ms. Chen’s help. Our wedding went on smoothly amidst best wishes, and we began our married life with our hearts full of joy. At first, we had large quarrels due to our difference in concepts. I even left home at midnight just to test if Johnson loved me. Such conduct was really childish. However, with communication and improved mutual understanding, we reached common ground again and again. We also knew more about each other. After married, my husband went through a financial crisis in his business, but this did not seem to have any influence on our love. We went through it together and never stopped learning and maturing. Now, whenever I face a difficult situation, I always remember what Ms. Chen has told me, “Both the husband and the wife has to take 200% responsibility of their relationship.” She also tells me to be a wife who is always faithful to her husband no matter what his situation is. I should learn to support and respect my husband’s decisions. To be honest, it is very difficult for me. Having said that, however, the fact that Ms. Chen has a happy marriage with her other half is always on my mind. Therefore, I believe as long as I perform well in my role as a wife, I’ll definitely enjoy the same happiness as Ms. Chen. Such an idea has helped me to win my husband’s love, his support and respect

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for my work, and his consideration for me. I’m now happier than I was, and this feeling is what I’ve wanted to have since very young. I feel very contented to have my husband by my side. My lack of self- confidence has disappeared. More importantly, I’ve become gentler. I now have my dream guy with me. This is a truly happy feeling. Such a sense of security allows me to concentrate more on my work, on my self-improvement, and on the responsibility of marriage. I think I’ve really grown up! My relationship with Johnson went from mutual reluctance to mutual willingness. The key character who brought us together was Ms. Chen. She even helped us solve our problems so that we are what we are. Because of her, I was able to find my perfect love again. In the past, I was uncertain about the importance of taking responsibility, but now I know it clearly that my life will never be complete and will constantly have holes that needed to be filled up if I don’t take the responsibility. Obviously, when I take responsibility for a certain area, I can enjoy myself in that area. All of these are the fruits of Ms. Chen’s careful cultivation. Thank you, Ms. Chen, the matchmaker of the century. You brought us together so that we could have this beautiful and touching married life. More importantly, our future will definitely be better. I hope Ms. Chen’s handiwork will continue to make more heavenly matches.

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‘Mission Impossible’ Miraculously Accomplished

My Life Began to be Splendid Cube I’ve been married for more than a year. Compared with my single life, these days are a lot more interesting. Since I began a married life, I’ve also had a lot more improvements and changes. I had never dreamed of seeing these changes in me, and they even changed my view about life. Three years ago, the first thing I did after work was going home and switching on the TV or the computer to play computer games. I never thought getting married was anyhow important. Why should I get married? At that time, I thought my own family was horrible, so if I got married, I would be horrible, too. As the Chinese saying goes, “Dragons’ children are dragons, phoenixes’ children are phoenixes, and rats’ sons only know how to drill a hole in the wall.” Besides, I wasn’t confident in my appearance and communication skills. I didn’t think any girl would be in love with me. Once I sensed that a girl might like me or that I might like a girl, I shifted my attention to video games to eliminate the feeling. Finally I was under the power of love when I was serving in the army. However, I didn’t dare to accept this feeling and continue the relationship. I fled, fled, and fled. I swore never to fall in love with any girl again. One day, Ms. Chen asked me to meet her in her office. She blurted out, “You must get married! Pick yourself a partner!” Not having the slightest idea, I went away and sat down and started to ‘think seriously’ about it. At first, I was resistant to it, but in the process of trying, I found myself inundated by

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passionate feelings. I couldn’t muffle my inner voice anymore. I cried, “I need love!” In the first and second love letter I wrote to C.C., doubts and fears still filled my heart. However, after C.C. agreed to be my wife, all my love flowed into my love letters to her. My passionate feelings were like a waterfall. They kept gushing out of my mind and were turned into affectionate words and tender love. In terms of love, I was an untamed wild horse that was difficult to bring under control. Now I’m serious about love. After all, I need to return ‘home’ after wandering around for so long. The day when C.C. agreed to have me was incredible. When Ms Chen saw the fax on which C.C. wrote “yes” to my marriage proposal, she cried for half an hour. Ms. Chen answered C.C.’s fax with tears on her face. I was really touched by Ms. Chen’s dedication. She worked harder than I might have realized. The moment when C.C. agreed to be my bride, I was like, “Impossible!? I succeeded!” I stared at her replied fax to me completely dumbfounded because I couldn’t believe I really made it. At that moment, I felt my life had been completely changed. I had a lot of disbeliefs, they truly existed. But getting married was real! When I decided to get married, many obstacles quickly appeared in my way. I sometimes thought that those obstacles had always been there, I just pretended that I couldn’t see them. After all, they were part of my life. In the evening where I told my mom that I was going to get married, she was outraged. She couldn’t accept the fact that her own child had her own thoughts and ideas, so she kept asking me to break up with my fiancé. In fact, I was feeling bad. I even wanted to give up because I was torn between my mom and myself. However, after a few setbacks, I still got married and began an entirely new life. 

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The first morning after our wedding ceremony, I looked out from the window and felt the sunshine outside was so beautiful! It was like a golden rice paddy. The green leaves hinted at the arrival of spring; they seemed to declare the end of my past. I felt uneasy one month before the wedding. It was like a thousand needles were pushed into my heart. However, after I got married, those needles all disappeared! They were replaced by a feeling of elation. In the past one year, we couldn’t avoid having arguments, but we have become more steadfast and we’re enjoying more freedom. I gave up my original job at a factory and switched to the telecom engineering industry. My wife’s support was the greatest power that made me fearless of failures, and the biggest push towards my progress! I used to play video games behind doors, but now I enjoy playing the games of life with my wife outside the doors. This change was because of Ms. Chen. She propelled me to proceed. Even when I wanted to give up, she still helped me to realize my dream. She turned the wishes I had discarded into realities. Making the impossible possible is indeed magical. Incredibly, Ms. Chen helped me find my lost dreams one by one. The biggest help Ms. Chen gave me was giving me methods and urging me to practice and materialize them. I sometimes felt that she treated my life as her own life. When I saw Ms. Chen working so hard for my life, I understood that I should take more responsibilities for it. In the past, I never thought my life would have any great changes. My life was just the computer monitor in front of my eyes. I was very familiar with video games and computers, but I knew nothing about human affairs. I often made myself happy with video games and computers, but when the computer was shut down, I couldn’t escape from all those pains, solitude, and problems that came over me. Now my life has indeed changed. It’s become more spectacular and more beautiful. If you want a beautiful life, you should change those things you thought you could never change, change them for real and make those changes of real value to your life. Marriage itself is a change that I thought I

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would never encounter. Once I changed, I could get true happiness. Change is possible, and help is also possible. As long as you have faith, your dreams will come true. At least I saw Ms. Chen had made it. She made it for my life. All these changes are real!

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I Saw the Happiness and Sweetness of Life Cecilia Marriage had never been a part of my plan. It seemed to be entirely unrelated to me. I had been asked questions since I was in my twenties, “Do you have a boyfriend?” “When are you going to get married?” When I encountered these people who were full of ‘good intentions,’ I would put on a face and tell them, “I’m not interested in this subject. Let’s talk about something else.” Or, I simply remained silent and showed them a grim face. In my philosophy of life, marriage wasn’t a necessary road that everyone should take in their lives. I always felt that there were many choices and many things worthy of doing in one’s life. There was no need to be trapped in a family. I didn’t know where this idea came from. I just thought women could never do what they wanted after they got married. It would be impossible for them to choose their own way of life. Quite a few of my friends and classmates shared my thoughts, so I believed there was nothing wrong with my ideas. Despite the fact that many of my friends, classmates and colleagues have entered marriage, and I have attended their wedding ceremonies to share their joys, I couldn’t suppress my puzzlement, “Why did these people have the courage to enter the dead end of marriage?” Since I was thirty, I have seen my good friends get married one by one. They began to worry about mundane daily affairs at home, and they even needed to pick up children and take care of their father- and mother-in-law while struggling with their heavy workload. When I saw them rushing here and there on the streets of Taipei, my belief deepened: not getting married gives one the freedom to do what they want. When I was 32, I went abroad for further studies. There I met Ms. Chen, my matchmaker in this life. I remember not long after we met, she asked me, “Do you have any wishes? Do you want to get married?” I told her, “This isn’t my dream. I think remaining single is better. I think everyone has the right to choose between marriage and celibacy.” She didn’t say anything at that point, and I thought the subject would never be brought up again, as there was no

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need to. Who would predict that a long ‘war of persuasion’ would ensue? Since then, she talked me into having facials in the hope that my skin condition would become better. However, what I had in mind was: “Beauty isn’t that important. Being learned is more important.” She wanted me to dress up for different occasions, asked me not to appear in sloppy wear, and urged me to apply lipstick so that there is more color to my pale face. She cared about her own appearance, and she also tried to help me look beautiful. And I? I was a pig-headed person. She said what she said, and I did what I liked. A tug-of-war continued. As time passed, she never gave up finding me a husband and marrying me to him. I was just as I had been. During this process, she continued to train me, taught me how to improve my appearance and habits, and to make me ‘ladylike’ – as I still dressed and talked like a tomboy. Under her tireless and relentless persuasion, I did learn many things. To help me learn how to be a woman, she tried by all means to find a man who was willing to court me and marry me. This person sent me his love letters when I was receiving training in America. Although I refused his marriage proposal in his first love letter, he was not defeated. He sent another. During the process, I was touched by his love letters. However, the most important hand behind all these was Ms. Chen. She spent entire ten years working on altering my anti-marriage mentality. It was she who knocked down the Great Wall in my mind. And this man was a savior she sent to save me -- a grim woman who had given up all hopes about marriage. Marriage -- an opportunity for me to practice being a woman, to know my imperfections and to understand my shortcomings. All the difficulties are to let me enjoy more freedom. Because I have the other half, I begin to be asked

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to dedicate myself to another person. My selfishness and bad habits are more obvious because of the friction created in the presence of another person in a marriage. However, whenever I overcome a little bit of my problem, I feel my freedom becomes greater. This kind of learning was impossible for me to understand and experience before I got married. Marriage is indeed not a nightmare as I used to imagine. It is a way of learning and cultivating in life. It’s not just about having children, as may be normally conceived by people. It’s so good to be married, not because someone will earn money for me and pay the bills for me, but because it’s a horizon-broadening opportunity. I know more about myself and about life. I also see the happiness and sweetness of life. With a person by my side, I’m contented and happy beyond description. Here I’d like to specially thank my matchmaker. Thank you for your perseverance and efforts. Because of you, I can better enjoy my life. I’d also like to thank my husband. Thank you for marrying me and helping me. Because of this matchmaker, my life can be complete. I’m full of gratitude. This is the biggest miracle and the most special happiness in my life.

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Why are Women Tender? What Makes Men Striving? Justin I remember I used to be a person who was afraid of marriage and loved daydreaming. Whenever I saw a beautiful girl on the street, I would think how great it would be if this person were my girlfriend! I dreamed about the fairytale ending where the prince and the princess lived happily ever after. If such a world would only stay in one’s imagination, it would of course never materialize. For as long as I can remember, I’ve seen my parents arguing with each other once every few days. Sometimes their verbal fights were quite scary. Should marriage be like this? I couldn’t figure out why it had to be like this when two people lived together. I grew up with these questions in my mind. After I entered a military school and served in the army, I also saw my friends arguing with their girlfriends quite frequently. They even continued to argue after they got married. If I were them, I wouldn’t have time for arguments. I had to work during the day, so I didn’t want to argue or even fight after I returned home in the evening. This would be truly exhausting. So, I began to push the idea of getting married aside. It was not that I didn’t want to get married. I was sure that I would get married some day. Such a contradiction left me powerless. There must be a potential partner if you want to get married. If you don’t even have a potential partner, it’s ridiculous to talk about marriage. Whenever my grandma told me someone’s child was cute, I knew she was telling me that she wanted a great grandchild. I would tell her, “Be direct if you want a great grandchild.” When my father asked me when I would get married, my answer was “Find me a wife if you want me to have a wife. Otherwise please wait for

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another ten years.” He gave up when he heard my response. He even suspected that I was a homosexual. This truly scared him. To everyone who put the question to me, I always said, “Find me a wife if you want me to have a wife.” After a few times, they got tired of asking. Isn’t it good to be alone? I can go out with whichever girl I like. I don’t have to give up an entire forest for a tiny blade of grass. I was like this until the age of 28. Then I began to change after I went to Heart Bridge Consulting Company. My first conversation with Ms. Chen was via fax. She wanted me to get married at the end of the year. To my surprise, I said “OK” after only a few seconds’ deliberation. Only one idea appeared in my mind: just believe in Ms. Chen! I believed she would find me a good partner. So I began my journey of marriage. This journey would be a life-time journey, and also a never-ending journey of romantic love and the relationship would be sweeter as time passed. I now think marriage is a type of decision. When you’re ready, your other half will appear in sight. I was surprised that such a decision only took one second to form, but it really changed my life. The time between deciding to get married and completing the wedding ceremony was like going through a tempest. When I first mentioned marriage to my parents, my father could hardly believe it. He thought I was playing a game and that I was insincere. Prior to this moment, he kept asking me when I would get married, but now that he heard his son was going to do that, he refused to believe him. He was so contradictory! Matters finally settled down after two or three discussions. We would have two wedding ceremonies: one in Taipei; the other in the city of Changhua. The whole process was like a preparation for war. I was busy inviting my friends to the wedding. Everything was a mess. Distributing invitations alone was enough to put me in great mental pain. Things also became more complicated

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because I wasn’t dedicated enough. Fortunately, the confusion stopped when we finished the wedding ceremony. After I got married, I found the biggest advantage of a two-person life was that someone would be by my side and share my life with me. I began to have this feeling after I got married. Now I’m no longer leading a solitary life. I have to take the two of us into consideration in whatever I do. Although it is difficult to avoid arguments, yet we know more about each other through communications. Our love for each other also grows. We haven’t been married for very long, but we feel like we’ve been living together for two or three years. We’re more and more in love with each other! Now I have a family, and I feel I’ve settled down. Whatever I do, I think of my wife. It’s so good to have her with me. My goals at work are also clearer. I know what I need to work on and improve to make myself and my wife better. That sharing of spiritual agreement bound by a common goal is more important than material possessions. When we support each other, we’re empowered wherever we go. This power will keep me going. I will not stop where I am. If you want to be happy, you need to be willing to go beyond what is comfortable. Being happy with my wife and family is the sweetest feeling in the world. My horizons have been broadened since I got married. Originally I viewed things from my own perspective, but now I’ve gradually learned to take my life with my other half into consideration. If I don’t change and continue to view the world with a narrow mind, I’ll only be blinded. My life cannot be happy because confusion and stupidity are one’s biggest enemies. If you don’t get married, you’ll never know life can be so beautiful. It’s just like

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when a man does not have a woman by his side, he’ll not know what female tenderness is. Likewise, when a woman does not have a man by her side, she’ll never know what men are working and striving for. Marriage is not the graveyard of love but the beginning of it. Such love will last for a lifetime. The world with the other half is indeed so expansive and so real!

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Breaking the Spell of ‘Can’t Get Married’ Sylvia Marriage was an evil spell to me before I knew about Heart Bridge Consulting and Ms. Chen. When I was very little, at about the age of junior high school, my dad told me solemnly one day, “You should by no means get married too early. If you get married early, you won’t be happy. The older you are when you get married, the better.” I never inquired further because my dad always responded with an air of mystery, “A professional Chinese astrologer said that. Just remember you can’t get married early.” From then on, my idea about marriage was different from that of ordinary girls. When they were discussing about a good-looking boy, about a lover, or about weaving a sweater or a lucky bracelet for a beloved, I did take part. I also fell in love with certain boys. However, a voice in my mind kept reminding me, “Getting married early will not bring you happiness.” Then I gave this sentence a weird definition: “Getting married early equals unhappiness.” Having a boyfriend when I was young then equal to impossible to get married with this person, equal to eventual breakup, equal to destined unhappiness if we somehow got married. However, what age was early for a marriage? I never found the answer, and a lot of my youth slipped away under the spell. The desire in the secret corner of my heart to get married was killed after I observed the married lives of relatives, friends and my parents. As far as I can remember, my impression of a ‘happy family’ became vaguer and vaguer after I was 8. What I saw in a married life were arguments and what I heard were complains. In addition to betrayal, deception and concealment, the financially-able person had extramarital affairs, and the financially- unable one began a cold war. This

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inspired me to give two more definitions to marriage: “Entering marriage means beginning a campaign for assets” and “entering marriage means an unending fight against the mother-in-law.” To me, I could give dozens of examples of an unhappy marriage. However, I couldn’t find any good models to support my imagination of a perfect marriage. After all, I was a timid pessimist who believed that man could never escape from his destiny. After I was 20, I became a person who longed for a romantic relationship but dared not get married. I had been in a relationship with the same man for eight years, but it was in the last year when I finally had the courage to confirm my relationship and future prospects with him. That was because in that year, I walked into Heart Bridge Consulting center. In that month, I began to consider the possibility of getting married with him. At last, I was brave enough to face the fact that there would be no future for us. Even if I was willing, he wouldn’t marry me. 28 years old – is that old enough? I secretly thought that the evil spell of my unlucky early marriage should have already disappeared! However, everything only remained in my brain. It was not that easy for me to make up my mind to get married. It was like everyone who had eaten a particular bowl of beef noodles said it wasn’t tasty. They had nothing good to say about the beef noodles. Therefore, even if the evil spell had been broken, I still lacked the motivation to get married. Then I went to America for the first time to receive training. I saw that Ms. Chen has a very happy marriage. Although she and her husband have been married for nearly 20 years, they are still madly in love and know each other’s thoughts well. They can be individuals, and they can also be merged into one. At that time I was going out with a man. On my birthday I received a proposal letter. With a little courage and a residue of my imagination about a happy marriage, I said “Yes.” I thought I was old enough. Getting married at this time shouldn’t be too early, right? In addition, I finally saw from Ms Chen’s example that it’s possible to have a happy marriage. And this person was very

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nice to me. He is the man! Let me marry him! That year I was 31. After I happily had my wedding photos shot and was ready to welcome the arrival of the wedding ceremony, my fiancé suddenly died! It was two weeks before the wedding. What he left me was a shocking and sad Christmas Eve! Marriage to me became exceedingly difficult. I felt in this life I would never find a partner and marry him. No one dared to mention marriage in front of me again. Only Ms. Chen was by my side. She helped me emerge from my pain and constantly encouraged me to have hope for the future even if my past wasn’t very good. Ms. Chen’s encouragement saved me from my disappointment about marriage. I didn’t collapse. Instead, I was able to work and live like a normal person. When I was in America again for further training, Ms. Chen said to me, “Sylvia, you still need to get married. It’s all in the past now.” At that moment, there was a tug-of-war in my mind, and I was inundated by my past failures and worries about the future. Miraculously, however, these billows of worries and fears didn’t roll for very long. With Ms. Chen’s calm and firm words, I saw a beam of hope for marriage radiate from behind thick clouds. Ms. Chen’s confidence and perseverance were my biggest encouragement. My heart had been like a very rough sea with soaring waves. However, I finally had the courage to give myself another chance. It was all because of Ms. Chen’s love and care. Ms. Chen heard my inner voice. She as a woman understood my desire for marriage. I thought Ms. Chen knew my past. I had buried the desire deeper and deeper into the ground. It was like a flame that was going to stop burning. To be honest, my power alone wouldn’t have allowed me to clean my negative ideas about marriage from my head. I only had a small metal spoon, but the scary feelings accumulated in me were a truckload. Those things built up

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so quickly that before I could scoop away enough of the negative feelings, my arms and legs were soon broken, and the metal spoon was squashed and became a small metal piece. That is to say, it was entirely impossible for me to have anything to do with marriage. Even my ability to face my future life was like a candle flame flickering in the wind. Ms. Chen, this very determined and powerful person equipped with both beauty and wisdom, helped me. She didn’t simply give me a hand. She gave me power beyond imagination. Her help was like a huge bomb. “Bang!” She bombed to pieces the trash that had almost crushed me. Then she lost no time in digging out my original, pure desire to get married and carefully held it in the palm of her hand. I’m not exaggerating. Without her great help, I wouldn’t have had the marriage I enjoy now. I got my current husband to say yes to me -- with Ms. Chen’s help. She knew I get easily embarrassed and that I was timid and poor in expression. Besides, I always acted indecisively and hesitantly. If she asked me to tell a man that I loved him and wanted him to be my boyfriend, she would have to wait until the end of the world or until my hair became white. I just couldn’t take action. Therefore, Ms. Chen asked me what type of men I might like and how I felt about my present husband (at that time we were only passing acquaintances). She knew that I liked him and that my impression of him was not bad, so she whole-heartedly took it upon her shoulders to be our matchmaker. Without Ms. Chen’s help, I wouldn’t have been able to marry. I know this clearly. The reason why my other half was willing to marry me was not because I was super good or super perfect. It was because he believed that Ms. Chen would find him a very good partner. I made a wish to get married, and Ms. Chen realized my dream. It was also because of Ms. Chen’s positive encouragement that I had the courage to marry again. She wanted me to open up my life’s dynamics and not to hide myself. If marriage is the necessary process of life, the earlier we start learning, the better. My husband Justin and I started our relationship with correspondence. Then

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we began to understand each other. I remember receiving Justin’s fax one time. He wrote, “When I decided to get married with you, I cared nothing about your past. What I see now is our future. Let’s pursue a free and happy future together.” I was deeply touched, and I’m very grateful that Ms. Chen found me such a broad-minded husband. Such a blessing cannot be had even when one prays a hundred lifetimes to the deities. At last, we got married. We had our first date on the day we shot our wedding photos. My husband was sitting by me, holding my hands, and talking to me with his eyes fixed on me. I was being dressed up then, but I felt relieved and secure deep down in my heart. This person before me grew familiar with me very shortly after we met. Previously I had been very reserved. I only had the courage to let someone know I liked him after I knew him for a long time. However, this man before me is different. Because he’s my husband, I can put aside all my misgivings and be nice to him, love him and tell him I love him with all my heart. This kind of feeling is like when you’ve bought your own house. So what you need to do now is just to think about how to decorate it. Ms. Chen always says, “Love and romance come after the marriage.” I could hardly agree with her in the past. How could two strangers get married? Wouldn’t there be a lot of problems after they get married? However, now I understand that if you indulge in a romance first, the problems that emerge will be the obstacles to your future marriage. On the contrary, if you’re in love after you get married, you won’t have the idea “Let’s break up since we can’t get along” when you encounter problems. Instead, you’ll think about how to deal with them, how to overcome difficulties and continue your marriage. More bonuses can be found in your daily life and in your pillow talk. You’ll find that you understand your husband a little bit more, and you’ll also be surprised by how considerate your husband is when he remembers your habits. Little by little, your love will grow sweeter and sweeter. I remembered how I felt the day we registered at the Household Registration

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Office. When I got my new ID, I saw my husband’s name had been printed on it. At this moment, I couldn’t describe my contentment and pride! I finally got married. I finally had someone, a partner, who I can go home to. This feeling made me more excited than winning the lottery. What you get in lottery is money, and it can buy you a lot of material comfort, but it cannot buy you love or the contentment of having a lifelong partner. Most importantly, money cannot break the spell cast on my marriage. Money cannot improve my confidence in marriage, so my contentment and happiness cannot be measured by money. It’s all given by Ms. Chen. She broke the spell for me and changed my life. I now clearly understand that no fortune teller can predict my exact past and future, as Ms. Chen has altered my fate. After you get married, everything is in two. You buy two portions of vitamins, take two sets of underwear into the bathroom, put two toothbrushes in the tumbler, and carry two helmets on your motorcycle. Your happiness is doubled, so is your responsibility. When you make a decision, you don’t simply consider only your preference. You need to communicate with your partner and learn to express your thoughts. Meanwhile, you also need to understand your partner’s thoughts. Sometimes a decision can only be made after several discussions, but that kind of decision is beneficial to both of you. In this way, neither of you has to make sacrifices. A true mutual understanding will be reached. After I got married, I learned to do things that make my partner comfortable, not what I ‘thought’ was good. I wouldn’t do something without communicating with him in advance and force him to accept it. I remembered on one occasion, I wanted to take some milk home. I took a bottle of family-sized milk and was ready to pay for it and go home happily. At this point, I saw my husband pick a small carton of apple-flavored milk from the counter. He said he wanted to drink the milk. As soon as he took it to the cashier and paid for it, he opened the carton and started drinking. I was furious. Why would I bother to warm up milk at home? His stomach was

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already full of milk! Later we had a big argument because of this. However, I discovered that if what I had given him was not what he had wanted, he would not be happy. Also, if I had prevented him from doing what he had liked based on my own liking, he would not be happy too. From this incident, I learned a lesson: give your husband what he wants and respect what he likes. Now that I’m married, I finally understand how narrow-minded my solitary life was. I only lived in my own world and never thought about others’ feelings. In my marriage, however, I see bravery and simplicity in Justin. I realized that we’re one. We have to support each other and protect each other on life matters, because if I get hurt, he’ll be influenced, and if he’s sick, I’ll also be affected. Ms. Chen says, “Keep up the sweet talk to your husband or wife, and leave complains and negative language to me.” Now I begin to understand the meaning behind Ms. Chen’s sentence. She doesn’t mean that we have to talk about romantic nonsense all day long. She wants us to say meaningful, positive and constructive sentences to our other halves. We shouldn’t dump garbage on the person who’s going to live with us for the rest of our lives. Instead, we should plant to create the best fragrance on him. It’s not enough if I am good. Only when my other half is also in a good condition can the marriage be great. I’m now married. I never thought I could be so brave. I also found that marriage can be happy. When two people have the same goal, they feel great even if they simply go out on the motorcycle for a bowl of red bean dessert soup. I feel that the missing hole in me has been filled up. It’s so good to have a person to think of. That makes me feel secure. My marriage has just begun. I know there are still many many difficulties to face and to overcome in the future, but I’m not afraid, because I know as long as our goal is the same and that we work together toward it, we’ll have more and more happiness, joy and freedom.

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Holding My Wife’s Tender Hands – So Real. Jeff The word ’marriage’ never existed in my life or in my dictionary. It was so remote and so strange to me. I could imagine how the sun, the moon and other stars moved but I couldn’t imagine how marriage – a world of two people – functioned. I was born into an extremely ordinary family. If you would pick a person on the road randomly and ask him about this family, he’d give you the most ordinary answer. Let’s look at my parents’ marriage. It’s so dull that you would fall asleep if you would watch it as a film. If you asked me what’s left in my parents’ marriage? To tell you the truth, I thought very little was left! OK, since I did not like my parents’ marriage, what do I want? I’m sorry. I hadn’t got an answer. During my 19 years of schooling (elementary school, junior high school, senior high school, university, graduate school, plus one year in a tuition school -- exactly 19 years), no one could tell me the secrets of marriage – such an important subject of life! Those so-called marriage experts and relationship experts are in my opinion, ha-ha, con artists! If the experts are so clever, why do rumors spread that those married celebrities are having extramarital affairs? These confusing situations are like jokes that are not funny. Great! Since marriage is unrelated to me, let me freeze it in the remote outer space! I thought I would be single and living a carefree life until I left the world.

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 However, there are always surprising good friends that appear in one’s journey in life. I encountered Ms. Chen. She kept saying that she wanted to introduce some girls to me since the day we first met. She also urged me to get married. She had the utmost patience towards my marriage while I already found this too bothersome to deal with! In November 2003, I got a phone call from Ms. Chen. It was a phone call made from the airport. She said she was going to fly back to America but was still concerned about my marriage. She hoped I would get married this time, and the date of the wedding was set to be January the next year. With the strong encouragement of this friend, I found no other way to disagree and thus I agreed. I agreed to begin the most exciting adventure in my life -- to complete every preparation for the wedding in just two months, so I was very nervous. However, what I was worried about was not the amount of work I had to do or the number of customs I had to follow. These were totally out of my mind. They were unimportant. What I was nervous about were doubts and questions from every direction. To my surprise, these doubts were raised almost entirely by my closest friends and relatives! Ha-ha! This is really a great mystery in human behavior. Maybe it’s why so many men and women are hesitant about entering marriage. After being almost unconscious in the hectic two months, I walked past the door of marriage at last. Nevertheless, the world of two people is more troublesome than I imagined. Sharing my duvet with another person is after all not very pleasant, despite the fact that the person sleeping next to me is my wife. Unavoidably, we quarreled and argued after marriage. I -- talked all the time; my wife -- remained silent for the whole day. I would go nuts on hearing the word ‘shopping;’ my wife was as aggressive as a tigress when it came to shopping. I liked my instant noodles to be medium well; my wife liked hers

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to be well done. My wife loved listening to sweet talk; I could only say the words ‘sweet’ and ‘talk.’ I could fall asleep as soon as I touched the bed; my wife always tossed and turned and needed my hugs. We could quarrel over these insignificant differences for half a day or have a cold war for several days. Whenever we argued, it’s really so difficult for me to recall the courage I had when I agreed to get married. Why did I bother to find someone to argue with? What a nuisance! However, this is exactly why life is interesting. Our argument was becoming more and more interesting. When I worked in the technology sector, I worked during the week. When I was not working, I had nothing to do, so I stayed all day in my room to either watch TV or play video games. One weekend, I lifted my head after I finished a game of Age of Empires, and I found the sun had set and that the room was all empty. Suddenly, I felt an unspeakable sense of solitude. I felt as if I had been forgotten by the whole world. In contrast, after marriage I never have the chance to be a stay-at-home computer geek, as someone is there to argue with me. Miraculously, however serious our verbal fights were, I always had calmness and stability in my mind. This feeling is like when a boat enters a harbor and pulls in to shore. Let the wind blows and the rain falls, the boat is safe in the harbor. Even if the wind is gusty and the waves are billowing outside the harbor, the boat will never tip over. This is not like when I had an argument with my girlfriend before I got married. A couple or lovers may separate very soon after a quarrel, but a wife will hardly leave you even if there’re serious rows. This year is our fourth wedding anniversary. I think the wind will subside as time progresses, as we’ve gotten over the stormiest years. I really love the song ‘Wife’ composed by Zheng Jin-yi, but no matter how great and how touching the lyrics are, the happiness of holding my wife’s tender hands in mine is still greater.

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 Don’t listen to others’ comments on marriage. You’ll only know the pros and cons of marriage when you get married. But if you would ask me, I can tell you, “It’s still better to get married.” I have to thank Ms. Chen for all her help. She gave me a gentle push in the last minute. My life has finally truly begun, and everything is so real. In fact, my delight is beyond description!!

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Share Every Ups and Downs – it’s Happiness Lily In my opinion, marriage was a long journey in life which would not be travelled on if it were to only depend on my own strength. It was really not easy, to move from one person’s life to the world of two. It seemed that I had never thought about not getting married. It never occurred to me. After I worked for some time, I decided on the time which I would get married and things like that. However, things didn’t always go as planned, so it happened that I thought it would be quite difficult for me to get married in this life anyway! In addition, quite a few of my classmates and friends decided not to get married or had unhappy marriages. This gradually made my dream about a happy marriage diminished. After meeting Ms. Chen, I started to recover from this crisis, and I believed that such a turning point was only possible if not for her work. I remember having a New Year party with Ms. Chen and other friends. She had everyone talk about their hopes and expectations for the upcoming year. I remembered my wish was to ‘marry myself to someone by the end of the next year’. Days went by, and it was November. Ms. Chen suddenly told me, “It’s time you get married!” This was somehow like a reminder but was actually not. She wanted me to give her a name of my potential marriage partner… Wow! No way! I was really astonished. Ms. Chen’s view on marriage was really not what I could imagine. At that moment, I told her the name on my mind without knowing where I got the courage. That name was Jeff – my present husband. I couldn’t care about the result. Let the matter take care of itself. Not long after, the world changed. I got the result. I didn’t know how much energy Ms. Chen had put on it, but she told me to get ready to be a bride. At that moment, I saw how happy and proud she was, as if she had just won a war. From then on, I told myself countless times ‘get ready to be a bride,’ and I finally knew what it was to have a sense of belonging. I also gradually

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understood what it was like to be in a marriage. Of course, we had to fight a war of the ‘preparation of the marriage ceremony’ before we could really experience the advantages of marriage. I might be exaggerating when I said it was a war. But I thought the metaphor was brilliant. We had to wait until the chaos of the preparation finished, all the way until the completion of the ceremony, then we could enter marriage. At first, we had to inform our parents. That was quite a shock to them! If we couldn’t handle our own parents, we would turn to Ms. Chen for help. We also made use of the communication skills we had learned in the past. As you can see, marriage is not simply about the bride and the groom. There must be very few weddings before which there are no arguments and quarrels. However, we depended on Ms. Chen for every arrangement. She made everything possible and made the wedding happen. We finally got married and entered the life of two. We’re no longer lonely. My personal view is that communication skills are very important in our daily life. My acquaintances may not point out any of my poor communication and I also do not see the serious impact. However, in the world of two – husband and wife, I have to take the responsibility. This world no longer just consists of me alone. I do not just improve for myself, but I now also improve -- faster -- for my beloved, for my family, for my work and for my friends. This has become a responsibility. In addition, the mutual care, encouragement and full support between my husband and I are the embodiment of the saying: “Husband and wife are one flesh.” We share all the joys and sorrows. All these are the fruits of Ms. Chen’s hard work. Thanks to her, we have this precious experience. I can’t find a more appropriate term to describe her than ‘the Matchmaker of the Century’. Marriage brings me true great happiness.

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What We Have is Our Future Marty To be honest, I didn’t like Shirley that much before I got married. I thought she was a real chatterbox – which was annoying – and that she just talked and never made her point. Such a woman was definitely not my type. After marriage, however, I gradually saw that she was adorable, considerate and gentle. Therefore, I believe that we should give an opportunity for ourselves to like and understand each other. There is probably no such thing as an ‘unsuitable’ woman of an ‘unsuitable’ man. One can enjoy a sweet relationship as long as one is not overly stubborn. When we decided to be in a relationship, we were so intimate that everyone around us felt like gagging. Everyone in my company became a ‘detective.’ They looked for us in every possible place, including the park. Nevertheless, I was of the opinion that I should love in style - passionately! I wanted to do whatever I had not previously done in my life. Ha-ha! Indeed, I would be free from remorse in the latter years of my life as I possessed what other men in the world did not. Although before I got married, I was struggling with my lingering love for my previous beloved, yet such a feeling disappeared the moment I was about to make my marriage vows. There are thousands of women in the world. Why did I focus on one beauty alone? I was too stupid. When it came to my getting married, it indeed happened very fast - and this ‘speed’ was the happiest thing for my love life, and it’s also the most exciting. Although my parents were not quite happy about my marriage preparation because I was totally in control, although I didn’t get a lot of monetary gifts

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from the wedding, yet the assistance I got from my friends were something I truly appreciate and will never forget! We were both frightened by our first argument after marriage. Both of us were not to be taken lightly. However, as the saying goes, “Husband and wife argue at one end of the bed but make up at the other end of the bed.” Make love and make up…Oh, just kidding, I mean communicate more, show your affinity more and everything will be ok! Also remember, ladies and gentlemen, do not to try to go back to your original families for resources in any case. If you allow yourself to be totally led by the nose, you’ll destroy your present home! You need to respect your parents and be grateful to them, but you’re not a lowly servant, so don’t call them, “Your Majesty!” Sometimes Shirley and I encounter her friends on the road. She naturally says hello to them and introduces me to them as her husband. At first I felt embarrassed when they saw I was so young, but I got used to it afterwards. I view our age gap as a great feature. How would life be interesting if everybody is the same? Life should be full of fun, so what matters the most is you feeling happy and satisfied. When I went to America for the second time, I was really lovesick because I hadn’t seen her for half a year. However, if we didn’t endure the hardship, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy our sweet love today. To my surprise, we were extraordinarily sweet when we met again. Now we’ve been married for one and a half years. We can feel each other’s love. We’re contented and stable. There’re almost no verbal fights between us. It’s not necessary for us to be stuck with each other all the time. We can be separate and still feel comfortable. Please accept my heartfelt suggestion that if you want to have a happy life, you must get married and improve together with your partner. The happy moments you can enjoy with your partner will only be wasted by procrastination. Don’t focus your attention on meaningless trivialities. You’re only wasting your youth if you do so. Can you imagine how happy you’ll be if you work hard towards

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your goals now? This may sound unreal, but once you work toward your goals, you’ll be very happy. I can’t promise that I won’t argue with Shirley in the future. I’m not that god-like. However, when we’re after the same better future, we’re very happy. What we’ve got is our future. If husband and wife don’t progress together or if the gap between the two is too wide, the pain will last for a life time. Money will be of no use on this matter. A good husband is a good husband because he is trained. So, get yourself trained! Ha-ha! Ms. Chen will train you if you really want to. Shirley and I both think of our journey of marriage as miraculous. Whenever we reach a dead end and feel there’s no hope, there’ll always be more new hopes for us to cling to. This is exactly what Ms. Chen has told us. Her statement proves to be true no matter how many times we test it. It’s so wonderful to have Ms. Chen by our side. She truly deserves the name of ‘the Matchmaker of the Century’. My wife admires her the most. To tell you the truth, all the wonders she has done make my jaw drop, and there’s no way of putting it back. Cheers, Ms. Chen! Hope we have good health and all our wishes come true!

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I Really Do Like You Shirley I always laughed when I thought of how I pursued Marty. I never thought I would fall in love again with a man who’s younger than me and even get married with him. The beginning of this relationship was indeed very special. It just naturally began, without any intentional arrangements. At first, I only squabbled and joked with Marty. Gradually I found something wasn’t quite right. I began to be jealous; also angry about him being nice to others while saying something on purpose to irritate me. I once wanted to give up. If he really hated me, I would just leave him alone. However, I didn’t know why I still continue to pursue him even if my heart had been broken several times and even when I lost hope several times. I still made it clear to him that I liked him. This truly made me surprised. I became a person who was braver as he fought. Nothing would make me surrender. Actually I had been ready to tell him I love him, no matter what. Even if the answer I got from him was that he didn’t love me, I have no regrets. In that evening, I said to him that I wanted to sleep in the same room with him. I could feel his surprise, but I ignored it. I went straight into his room and made the bed for myself. I remember he asked me if I really wanted to sleep in the same room with him. I said, “Yes.” And went on with my bed making. That night, his head was in one direction and mine in the other. I said, “I love you.” He said if I hadn’t been ten years older than him, he might accept me. I thought, “Do I really look that old? What the OOXX!” Then he told me about the girls he was in love with. After hearing his stories, I thought there was no hope for me! Besides, he had lingering love for those girls… So I said, “OK! I’m going to the bathroom. I think I understand what you mean.” When I came back from the bathroom and was just about to lie down again, he said, “I love you too.” I didn’t know if I should smile or cry.

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 One moment he didn’t love me, the next he changed his mind and said he did. I asked him if he was mad as he was so illogical! I lost his love but found it again. This was so difficult for me to accept or to believe. I knew I was secretly happy. That night we kissed good night and slept in each other’s arms. Such a feeling was very special. I could hardly imagine that something like this would happen to me! I thought my past romantic relationships had often little to no substance. It often came quickly but left without a satisfactory result. When I told Marty that being in a relationship with me meant getting married, as I was old enough, he surprised me by saying, “OK! Let’s get married!” After going through shocks and surprises, I often asked myself if it was real. Before I had told him my feelings, I remembered one time he was with Ms. Chen, indicating that he didn’t want to work at the company anymore. I asked Ms. Chen if she wanted some fruit and got an opportunity to slip into the room to see what happened. At that time, if not for Ms. Chen’s help, his situation might have worsened, and I wouldn’t have had the chance to tell him I loved him and even get married with him. Do the prince and the princess live happily ever after -- after they get married? No! I find that Marty and I were more prone to quibbling after we got married! I got jealous easily. I felt a pang of jealousy almost on a daily basis, and sometimes nothing could stop our fighting. We either would not speak to each other or have cold wars. Wow! On those days it sometimes occurred to me that giving up would be better. However, Marty always touched my heart. Whenever I had the idea of getting divorced and told him to find a girl that’s more suitable for him, he always told me that no matter how much we had quarreled and fought, he would never think about separating from me. After each argument, our relationship became steadier and steadier. And no

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matter what happened, Ms. Chen always stepped in to help us. We’ve been married for nearly two years and I’ve never felt so calm. Marriage really makes me very contented. Although we’ve had numerous arguments and even had at one time decided that we were irreconcilable, I feel happy that he is with me. My sincere thanks go to our big matchmaker, Ms. Chen. Without you, I wouldn’t have found my true love in this life, and my true love wouldn’t have appeared. Thank you!

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Working Hard to Pursue My True Love Derek In August 2005, I had the most unforgettable Chinese Valentine’s Day – not because I was especially touched, but because my girlfriend told me how much she hated me. In fact, I had known that our relationship wasn’t very real. It was full of poor communication and distrust. As a result, we broke up on September 16. The sadness wasn’t a bolt out of the blue. The result was entirely what I had expected. I had no choice but to accept the consequence. This helplessness and the feeling of suppression which had no outlet were gut-wrenching and it cut deeply into my heart. I always doubted if there were indeed any sincere relationships in the world. Could the love between a man and a woman hold them tightly together despite the obstacles of time and space? Is separation the only result? The bond that we shared while we were in a relationship -- was it a falsehood? I had hundreds of thousands of doubts, grief and helplessness. There were so many people in the world, but I thought I would never find a person who could understand these feelings. I shed many tears in many nights! I happened to meet Ms. Chen on one occasion. Her eyes could see through hearts and her words could reach the deepest part of a person. Because of her, everything went through a 180-degree change. As Ms. Chen knew that I loved this girlfriend very much though we had broken up, she found time to meet this girl on my behalf and to assess the situation. Unfortunately, Ms. Chen told me that my ex- girlfriend didn’t love

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me anymore and that she felt we shared nothing in common. Next, I went through a series of my own torment that was extremely difficult to endure. I was tried and tested for nearly three months, practicing what Ms. Chen had taught me and facing the problems in my own life. One day, a miracle happened. Having the courage that came from nowhere, I spoke to my ex-girlfriend and asked her to give me another chance! I told her that in the past we separated because of poor communication. Now the communication problem had improved and I was progressing, so we could seize the chance to begin all over again. She didn’t say yes immediately on that night. She just hugged me, not knowing what to say. However, she agreed after a few days! We were together again! I remembered Ms. Chen had told me, “Love and romance come after the marriage.” I think it really makes sense. Why was I waiting to get married and fill the interval with uncertainties? Since I had decided to spend my life with this girl, why didn’t I get married as early as possible? However, here came the problem. Marriage was about the two of us. It didn’t simply depend on me; it also depended on my partner. My girlfriend wasn’t that inclined to an early marriage. Instead, she wanted to wait until a better opportunity came up. But what is a better opportunity? Good question! Only until then did I realize that I had a lot to work on. Yes, work! But how? Two weeks later, a letter from Ms. Chen arrived in my girlfriend’s hands. She told me there was such a letter, but I was confused. What was it about? Staring at her mysterious face, I was nervous as well as excited. Then, something unexpected happened! The letter was roughly about the idea of ‘love and romance come after the marriage.’ After I read the letter, I observed my girlfriend’s face, which was full of happiness. Then a voice flickered across my mind: “Propose to her!” In next to no time, I blurted out the important sentence, “Will you marry me?” At this moment, I could feel that I touched her heart.

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 My mind went blank for a second, and then I realized she had said ‘YES!’ At this point, I felt the relief like that of bested a big enemy. My body was weak yet there was elation and excitement. That quiet night is filled with thunderous joy and happiness. We got married. Ms. Chen wrote to my fiancée on May 20. It was the day I proposed to her. May 20 in Chinese sounded like ‘I love you.’ I will never forget this day. Did the story stop here? No, it was just a beginning. The process of getting married is sacred and full of special meanings. My fiancée demonstrated the perseverance and speed I had never seen before to make every due arrangement for the wedding under Ms. Chen’s guidance. At that time I was receiving training in a military camp, so I didn’t do much for the wedding. Because of my fiancée’s hard work, my idea about her changed. I discovered that beneath her gentle appearance is a strong capable woman. It was through Ms. Chen’s sharp eyes that I was able to see my wife’s special character. It was our wedding day, and Ms. Chen -- the witness to our relationship – also presided over the ceremony. In the end, I lifted the bridal veil and kissed my bride. We promised to be with each other for the rest of our lives. In retrospect, I know I would never have been able to foresee the U-turn of my story three years ago. I’m glad I met Ms. Chen, thus the plotline took a different route. My story ended in tragedy but began again in an uplifting story. Now I understand that spiritual bond that we shared was real and that there are really sincere relationships in the world. The love between a man and a woman will connect the two tightly together no matter how fast the time progresses and how shifty the space is.

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 As long as you believe and have faith in love, it will overcome barriers and any obstacles of time and space. This is like a fairytale and a myth, but it happened before my very eyes. It’s real in my life! I can now hold my wife’s hand and walk toward our future, taking in the endless wonders! What can be more satisfying than marrying the bride you truly desire?

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Improving Myself, Help My Better Half Yoyo At first, I wanted to get married late. I didn’t believe the relationship after marriage would be as sweet as before, so I made up my mind to get married as late as I could. Marriage was the last thing on my mind. In addition, Derek back then didn’t make me want to get married at all. We often quarreled when we were together, so I thought, “Damn! I definitely don’t want to be with him. He is so irritating!” I didn’t even want to stay in the relationship with him, let alone get married! De-fi-nite-ly im-po-ssi-ble!!! After Derek began to take classes at Heart Bridge Consulting - he became a different man. In addition, I too took lessons at Heart Bridge. Although we still argued, our relationship was becoming more and more different. Derek also changed and became more adorable after he started to receive training from Ms. Chen. I remember Derek said something to me once. He found that if we didn’t improve ourselves, we would be separated, and he would find someone other than me to get married with! Unless we took the same road, or else he would continue to progress, and we would go our separate ways. In addition, he found that any girl on the street could be his potential partner in marriage! What he meant was: he didn’t necessarily need to pick a certain type of girls or me. I only had two thoughts in mind:(1) Damn it. You can progress. Why can’t I? Let’s see who’s on the top in the end. You’ll pick me? Or I pick you?(2) Everything he said was true. As a result, an exciting plot unfolded. I began to study hard at my courses, and also started work at Heart Bridge. I didn’t mean to beat him or something. After he told me his thoughts, I realized that I had to improve for myself. Of course, improving myself and being in a relationship with him are two different matters. Well, but I saw Ms. Chen had brought together many happy couples and promoted many happy marriages at Heart Bridge, so I began to

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place a little bit faith in the probability of a happy marriage. In addition, another idea began to take shape in my mind. Mm, everybody is striving to get a good partner. Who in the world is waiting for others to ‘pick’ him/her? I must quicken my pace if I want to find my perfect match. One day, Ms. Chen sent me a fax, which would completely change my life. I remember on this fax, Ms. Chen said, “It’s almost time you get ready to be married.” My first reaction was, surprisingly, laughing! I didn’t feel the world was coming to an end, nor did I scream in fear. It was all because of Ms. Chen. I was looking forward to showing the fax to Derek, thinking that this fax from Ms. Chen was a prelude to his proposal. I then thought, “Would Derek the idiot remember to propose after he read the fax?” I didn’t fail to enjoy a sweet evening on this day because under the beautiful starry sky, Derek the idiot knelt down on the playground of Minquan Elementary School and proposed to me. After the proposal, it was yet again another exciting beginning. First, my dad didn’t know Derek. If I suddenly rushed back home and told him I was going to marry a guy he hadn’t seen or heard of, he might fall into a coma. Second, Derek was then serving in the army. Despite all these, I still plucked up the courage to break the news to my dad one day. To my surprise, my news didn’t evoke any strong reactions from my dad. I found it hard to believe at first, so I asked him, “What are your thoughts on this?” I wasn’t sure if he eventually had a strong heart because he had been upset so often by my sister and I. He just replied very calmly, “It’s just a matter of time before you get married. It’s not bad that you get married early.” (An astonished face – I guess this was what I showed to him.) Consequently, we began to prepare for the wedding. Needless to say, it was Ms. Chen who made the arrangements. However, because Derek was in the army and couldn’t get involved, I felt a bit under pressure. We had arguments a

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few times, and sometimes I was so angry that I thought, “Damn, forget about this marriage! Where on earth can you find a groom who’s got nothing to do?” I tasted all sorts of joys and mixed feelings during the preparation, and I also saw my dad’s love in his own way. Ms. Chen also helped me a lot. Under her guidance, I finally had a happy wedding without any rows. I wasn’t forced to conform to some strange wedding customs and do things I didn’t like. I was a bride who laughed throughout the wedding ceremony. According to my classmate, she had never seen a bride who just kept eating and laughing! But shouldn’t a happy bride be like this? Ha-ha, the food served at the banquet was really tasty. Thank you, my super matchmaker. I really enjoyed the feast! I was deeply impressed by Ms. Chen’s presence throughout the wedding. She made sure I was surrounded with best wishes and nice things. The happiness of this wedding was so great that I had never dreamed about having it. (No, not even in my dreams because the ones I had seen were not very good.) After the wedding, then? Ha-ha, I never worried myself about that. Because Ms. Chen is always there and because both of us work at Heart Bridge, our relationship will become sweeter and sweeter even if we argue with each other. Now our love for each other is greater than the love we had when we were girlfriend and boyfriend. I worked hard to learn how to be a good wife and how to make him happy. We’ve begun a real romantic relationship of the century. It’s so great to be married! I understand how to love a person and learn to appreciate the feeling of being loved. This makes me feel great. I’m so delighted that I have a good partner to whom I can give and express my love. I also experience the wonderful taste of marriage. The world has completely changed since I walked on the red carpet in my wedding dress. My horizons have been broadened. Everything I see is totally

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different. It’s become so bright and so dazzling. The happiness and wonders of marriage have just begun! Whatever I say, Ms. Chen truly deserves the name of ‘the Matchmaker of the Century.’ She even ‘guarantees’ our happiness in the marriage! Nothing can fully express my gratitude!

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Marriage Offers Me Endless Opportunities for Self- Im-provement Joyway I’ve been married for eight years, which is not short. If you want me to give you a conclusion, I’ll tell you without hesitation: marriage is great. It opens up the dynamics of life and offers endless opportunities for you to improve yourself, become mature and learn great things. Everyone’s marriage is full of joys and sorrows, the marriage between Rita and I is of no exception. Fortunately, we’re constantly learning, developing and changing during the process, so in general, our marriage is great and valuable. Before I went into a relationship with Rita, I really didn’t think this girl was one I liked. Although people around us were excited about our prospective relationship, I tried my best to resist it. I even avoided being alone with Rita in our daily lives. If we did get together, there were no verbal exchanges between us. We were like this for nearly one year. As we were so aloof from each other, why did we have further contact? It was all because of Ms. Chen. She dedicated a lot of efforts to work as our super matchmaker. It was because of her that I eventually decided to ask Rita to be my girlfriend and later my wife. Even if it happened long ago, I still feel as if it was an incredible dream every time I recall it. I’m deeply grateful that this super matchmaker made our marriage possible.

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Because of her, I began to understand ways of getting along with girls. I also learned to enjoy the happiness of a marriage. To me, girls are no longer so mysterious and difficult to understand. My life has changed so much that you can say it has been turned inside out. In the world of romance, I finally walked out of the gloomy, dim corner. I began to be adorable, to learn how to talk lovingly, to be nice to a woman and to fall in love for the first time. My life became broader and I became happier. I wasn’t good with words, but now I know how to talk and be humorous. I have to admit that the ‘honeymoon period’ in a marriage is fairly short. As time progressed, we had more serious conflicts because of our different habits and different opinions in life. Looking back on them, I think those conflicts were manageable. They didn’t have to be that dramatic. They existed because I wasn’t mature enough and courageous enough to face problems. I did bear the consequences of these actions. Fortunately, I gradually went through the difficult process. My patience became greater as I encountered more conflicts. In this way, I gradually saw my own problems and fixed them one by one. I saw hopes for the future and opportunities of happiness. In addition, we had established a solid foundation for our relationship with our common beliefs about life that were accumulated over the years. Therefore, I believe we’ll perform exceptionally well in the future and that we’ll be even sweeter and happier than we were. With marriage, my life and perspective are better. I’m really grateful to Rita. Because of her, I’m able to understand the happiness of life. My growth is the result of her accompaniment in the past years. Meanwhile, I’d like to give a bigger thanks to the super matchmaker. Without her efforts and dedication, all this would not have begun, would not have happened. I might have been just like many of my friends and remained single until now. I might still be waiting for a godsend love and could not find any way to cross the threshold to the romantic world. In other words, I wouldn’t

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have been able to be happy and improve myself. Ms. Chen’s efforts will always remain visible. She is the fountainhead and the ignition, offering me this opportunity and making everything possible. The first eight years of my married life have passed, and in the future there will be more eight years for me to experience, face and manage. I believe I won’t get low grades anymore. I must get more than 100. I’ll make my life not just happy but super happy. Because of my wife’s and my willingness, we can guarantee the happy future of our marriage. Anything can happen in this world, especially with the super matchmaker. She is performing miracles every day. She has created so many happy couples and great romances. She’s the catalyst for these miracles, allowing many people to know the happiness of marriage and taste the delight of learning through experience. Thank you, the matchmaker of the century!

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I Know, I Can Change for the Better Rita When it comes to marriage, I must say I have always loved reading love stories, in which the hero and the heroine live happily ever after in the end. I’ve always dreamed about having a happy ending like that in fiction. However, in the past I was shy, unattractive and proud. I didn’t dare to express my love when I encountered a nice man. I also didn’t know how to create opportunities. I just secretly wished that a guy would be like the hero of a novel who would automatically fall in love with me, who is a plain ugly duckling. Contrary to my thoughts, such things never happened to me, because an ugly duckling would never become a swan without hard work. I was like this year after year and I was never in a relationship. The ones I loved didn’t love me, while those who wanted to enter a relationship with me were not my type. What a nuisance! Cupid really loved to play tricks on me! I met Ms. Chen on one occasion. She wanted to match Joyway and I. However, when I saw Joyway, I thought he really wasn’t my type. I resisted with all my might and wasn’t willing to have anything to do with this man. I showed him a gloomy face to express my reluctance and got mad at anyone who was excited about our prospective relationship. Disturbances continued for a whole year. Ms. Chen gave me a lot of freedom despite her attempts at communicating with me and analyzing the situation to me. I was allowed to observe and make a decision on my own. In the end, she talked to me and to Joyway separately, and I finally agreed to marry this guy. I chose February 14, Valentine’s Day, as the date for our engagement party and April 1, April Fools’ Day, as our wedding day. The news of my upcoming marriage almost made my family and friends jump out of their skin! Many of my friends were afraid of being fooled by me. Luckily I had always been a nice person, so they soon came to terms with the

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news! After marriage, we began to face a world of two people. We established a small family although we had different characters and were from different family backgrounds. In the whole process, we had the sweet honeymoon period. At this point, I discovered that the Prince Charming I once dreamed about is not necessarily suitable for me. Ms. Chen once mentioned that Joyway and I had many things in common. We had similar emotions, speed, height and temperaments. Many of those who’ve seen us say that we look just like husband and wife. When we attended a ballroom dancing competition, we were the cute ‘child prodigies’ on the dance floor. I also discovered that my husband is very considerate because he loves to give me a massage. He indulges my every whim and can accept anything as long as it is what I like. The person who cares the most about our relationship is Ms. Chen. She always hopes that every couple can enjoy a happy marriage and a sweet relationship. She has taught me how to be a good wife just to help me to experience a happy marriage and a happy life. It’s really difficult to imagine that Ms. Chen is still the person who cares the most about my marriage and happiness eight years later. Until now, there have never been dramatic love stories or Prince Charming and Snow White in our marriage, but we’re still happy and contented. It’s impossible to leave out arguments and disagreements in a married life. I’ve experienced the pain and suffering of a verbal fight and faced my own reluctance to dedicate myself. I know I can be better and I can have the ideal marriage of my dreams because I’m willing to work hard, plus there’s a super matchmaker who loves us, cares for us and wishes us the best. I got married. This is a crushing victory over the impossible in my life. I must thank Ms. Chen’s accompaniment, encouragement and support along the way. Nothing can adequately express the gratitude I feel. Thank you, the Matchmaker of the Century!

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The Happiness of Marriage is Beyond Words

Marriage Satisfies Me and Ended My Solitary Life Jason What’s my reason for not getting married? How did I feel when I decided to get married? Are there any differences between my life before and after the marriage? Do I feel my marriage is sweet? What’s my goal for my future life with this marriage? What’s the most unforgettable thing about my better half ? These questions make me feel that the wedding has just taken place yesterday. Two and a half years ago, Ms. Chen began to refer to marriage in our conversation. At that time, my first thought was: “Impossible!” I haven’t got the slightest idea about getting married. I did not even have a stable partner. How could I get married? Totally impossible! In addition, I hadn’t enjoyed my life to the fullest. I also hadn’t had enough girlfriends. How could I enter marriage like that? For this reason, I didn’t even bother to acknowledge Ms. Chen’s good intentions. However, Ms. Chen continued to work on this subject. I found that she was serious about it. I also began to discover that in the past I had always adopted a careless, irresponsible attitude when I entered a relationship with a girl. That’s why I was often entangled in a relationship and was ill at ease. I suddenly realized that I should begin to look for my better half seriously. This is an important goal in life. This partner must truly love me. She doesn’t have to be rich, beautiful or hot. These qualities used to be necessary in my ideal partners in the past but they are not that important anymore. Interestingly, when I came to this realization, the reasons I had to not go into marriage were

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no longer good reasons. Suddenly they became unimportant and they lost their effect on me. Through Ms. Chen’s arrangements, I knew my future wife: Vivian. She’s very beautiful. Beneath her gentle and quiet appearance is bravery and fearlessness. However, she sometimes looks so delicate that I naturally want to protect her and make her happy. My heart began to be full of happy and sweet feelings. I was happy that someone was going to stand by my side in the future. Although Vivian was still in America at that time, I was overwhelmed with joy for my prospective marriage. However, who said that a happy life follows the wedding? You must pay your dues. Not long after we got married, all the problems began to be visible. I was just as I had been, loving to stay at home and not willing to face the fact that I had become a family man. Vivian and I lived in separate places. She lived in her company dormitory, while I lived at home because it was closer to where I worked. Soon afterward, Vivian went to study in America again. Of course it was perfectly justifiable that I stayed at home. I lived a life of a couch potato, just as I did before getting married. Half a year later, I followed Vivian’s footsteps to America. We began to have direct confrontations and fought as hard as we could. Vivian always appeared pitiful and wronged, while my gloomy face showed my utmost displeasure. We were acting out the prime time soap opera almost every day. Luckily, Ms. Chen didn’t allow us to act more than a few episodes. Our situation became better and better; I began to feel the advantages of marriage. I also began to be more responsible and look at things from a different angle. I know I had become more stable. In the course of our marriage, the frictions between Vivian and I gave me a chance to discover my own problems. We used to be ‘dissatisfied’ and ‘unhappy’ about each other, and there was no mutual understanding. However, I found

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that I also had many shortcomings to deal with. Because of such a process, I was able to discover the past reasons why I stopped myself in improvement. After that I could enjoy the satisfaction and delight of growing up. Because I’m married, I can see this world more clearly so that I won’t be affected by rumors. I also know what is important. I don’t just value material comfort and think that everything will be OK as long as I have money. If someone wants to pay a high price to get my happiness today, I must say sorry to him as it’s impossible for me to give it all up. I’m satisfied with my marriage. This happy marriage empowers me to work harder. Thank you, Ms. Chen, for helping Vivian and I play our roles well. Thank you, Ms. Chen. Because of you, I have all that I have today!

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Marriage Helps Me Mature and Opens Up a Window of Hope for Me Vivian My name is Little Beauty. First of all, I’d like to thank Ms. Chen for opening up my married life. Before I knew her, I didn’t plan to get married. Although I wasn’t a born loser in a romantic relationship, my failures were numerous enough for me to abandon any idea of getting married. Like most people, I armed myself with ideas of ‘being single is the best’ and ‘I am a high-class single.’ I grew more stubborn in every imaginable aspect to prove that a solitary life was correct. However, when I entered Heart Bridge, I saw fairytale princes and princesses played by real humans. Their marriages were so happy and so wonderful. I might be exaggerating but my metaphors were quite appropriate! Although I envied their relationships, I didn’t think I would walk into a marriage myself because I didn’t have any special skills; even my social skills were poor. Despite being a nurse, I was uninterested in dating any patient in the hospital. As for my colleagues or other people within the same profession, I didn’t want to have anything to do with them. I hated gossiping. And I had no opportunity whatsoever to get in touch with any man. At this point, my mom stepped in. She talked to me as if she was arranging my marriage for me, “Oh! This man… I like him!” Shxxxt! But he’s not my type! I didn’t know what was wrong with me. The more my mom stood on the other’s person side, the more I hated him. As you can imagine, the arrangement came to an end not long afterward… I began to wonder if I really had to be alone for the rest of my life. Or would I be one of those who would have a husband to talk to? How should I walk back to this ordinary world from the edge of becoming a nun? Originally I hardly had any hope, but the faint hope in my mind gradually emerged. It made me want to fight at any price – because Ms. Chen was by my side, anything would

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be possible. After I met Ms. Chen, she asked me, “What do you think about Jason?” Consequently, Jason and I began to write love letters to each other. However, there was a weird aura in our love letter correspondence. I felt really weird… Why did I believe in him? Why did I treat my lifelong happiness as a game? Why did I suddenly believe in my sixth sense? There were so many ‘whys,’ so many ‘how comes.’ However, Ms. Chen said something to wake me up from my confused state. She helped me believe that I could choose to stop living a half-dead existence. I could choose to be awake. That’s right! The happiness I feel after marriage is difficult to describe. Because of him, I can know myself and can communicate, as there’s someone who would never leave me even if I hit him or scold him! In addition, I became more stable. I no longer allowed my imagination to run wild, otherwise I might just daydreamed my life away, never having real love, maybe ending up with a foreigner to be my boyfriend! Whatever I have chosen to do is for improving my abilities and creating a better future. My eyes look forward ahead instead of the past negative things. I can feel the hopes of my wonderful future, which are waiting for us to walk toward them. Marriage gives us a goal to improve together. It’s really great! Our love is sweeter and sweeter, and our marriage is richer and richer. I really can’t describe the mysterious development of all these changes. My husband really loves me a lot and I really cannot live without him. Everything is so good, and it is true. It’s more magical than a movie -- but it’s my real life, my real love story.

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When Dreams Come True. . .

Hesitation Cannot Make Your Dreams Come True Zeno I’m married! In the past I only dared to imagine. I imagined that one day I would be rich, that I would have a house and a car, that I would get married and have children, and that I would have a happy family. Someone told me while I was in senior high school that I should however conform to the ‘standards’ of society, which designated that I have to have money before getting married. When I was 23, I wished to get married at 25. But from 25 to 28, I found I was just an ordinary man. No matter how hard I worked, I wouldn’t suddenly be rich enough for marriage. Friends and family around me all told me I had to have at least NT$400,000 to get married. I couldn’t help but feel dejected. I also couldn’t convince myself of their argument. I thought, “Is it me or are you crazy?” If I had to follow all the social conventions, I wouldn’t be able to get married. However, I still succeeded in the end, stirred by a sentence from my matchmaker alone: “Do you want to get married?” “Do you want to get married?” I first heard it two years ago. She asked me this question the first time we met. I thought secretly, “Who are you? Is getting married so easy? You think you’re playing a video game?” What’s more, she wanted me to marry a girl whom I’d only seen a few times. Impossible! First, I didn’t have money. Second, my ideal girl had to be like the heroine of a soap opera… I had so many reasons to firmly decline Ms. Chen’s suggestions. Later I heard her say, “Love and romance come after the marriage.” I almost

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fell down from the chair! Nevertheless, another idea crossed my mind. In the past I had worked hard to manage my romantic relationships, but they all ended up in separation. Maybe the matchmaker’s words made some sense? When I heard the matchmaker ask me the second time, “Do you want to get married?”, I had just broken up with my girlfriend, who had been with me for two months. As I was feeling bitter at that time, I refused her again. When she asked me the third time, I still said “No!” very firmly. The partner she suggested was still the girl she mentioned to me two years ago! She said, “OK! We can discuss about that later.” Surprisingly, my mind went blank for an entire evening. I couldn’t find any of this girl’s shortcomings. It was indeed very difficult for me to believe, but I had to give the matchmaker some sort of reply. With sudden inspiration, I wrote down the qualities I would like my ideal lady to have: Pure and pristine soul, as flawless as a droplet of water. Energetic face that is full of life! This will provide the utmost aesthetic feeling for me. Enjoyment of self-improvement. A dedicated woman is the most beautiful woman in the world. I thought this list would free me from my matchmaker’s snare! However, she told me the next day, “Mm! Great! She’s got all the qualities listed on your paper!” I could only express my ‘masculine insistence’ by refusing her the third time. When I thought everything had come to an end, I received a letter a few days later. This was the first love letter I received in which the writer proposed to me! Oh! My brain was going to explode. The amount of information it processed on that day was the amount of information it had processed in the previous ten years! It was so exciting! I calmed down and thought about this girl’s love letter. I took it out to read all over again after work.

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 In this letter, she praised my merit first, and then she mentioned hers and our collective goal. She even said she wanted to care for me, and asked me to sign up with the matchmaker as soon as possible. At the bottom of the sheet was a drawing of a shy little girl with her head lowered… I thought, “Wow! It’s so sweet.” Even if I don’t say yes, this definitely gave me greatest pleasure. In that evening I proclaimed that I wanted to get married. Although I didn’t know her much. my impression of her was that she was a tomboy and not very feminine. But I was struck by all the emotions that were hidden in her love letter. There seemed to be a great riddle, a great treasure in the letter for me to solve, to unveil. It then took two more months for my enigmatic bride to arrive in Taiwan. I was a bit impatient because I had to wait for so long. However, I didn’t remain idle. I’m a gentleman. How can I allow myself to be proposed to by a lady? I wrote to her, telling her that the letter should have been written by me and that she was my lovely wife. I was over the moon, elated and excited. I was totally beside myself about the upcoming wedding. Thinking back on my wish to get married, I’m afraid my dream would never have come true if the perseverance of this matchmaker hadn’t outdone my male stubborn insistence! With the matchmaker’s help, I wrote overseas to my future lovely wife. I didn’t know what she would like to hear, so I told her my hopes for a happy marriage. I also let her know how much I wanted to create a life of two with her. I was looking forward to her reply and to our wedding. I waited and waited… My bride was finally going to come back today. She told me in her letter when she would come back. I couldn’t wait to hug her and kiss her. I was so nervous about the prospective meeting. When we did meet, I was surprised to find that my tomboy had been turned into a feminine lady. My love toward her was like a spring which was spurting out of the source. I had so many things to tell her. I felt as if we had known each

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other for a long long time. I couldn’t omit my gratitude to my matchmaker. Her bride training course was really magical. I could only use ‘remarkable’ to describe it! How could it be so magical?! The minute I said “I do, ” I knew I had ended my 28 years of solitude. Now I’ve got a vivacious and pretty wife. I also freed myself from some strange social concepts, like ‘marriage is the end of romance.’ No! As long as you’re able to create your own life, it’ll be full of endless joys. Even an argument can be interesting. You’ll also find a clear goal. Neither of you need to make a compromise. You can find your common ground and understand each other. If I didn’t get married, I wouldn’t know such ideas. I also learned how to respect the elders from my interactions with my parents-in-law. I realized I had been a disrespectful person in the past. Learning to be creative allows me to enjoy marriage. I can only say, “It’s so wonderful to be married. It’s so wonderful to have my wife with me.” Thank you, my matchmaker, for your efforts! You realized my childhood dream. The girl is now just beside me. Thank you! I’m full of gratitude to you! I can’t say enough “thanks!”

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Being Aloof Cannot Get You Happiness Emile I still think my getting married is unbelievable. I didn’t think I would be able to persist to complete this major event in my life! With my better half, my life is hugely different! How many women desire a marriage but can never encounter a nice man they like? When they can’t find a man who is worthy of their dedication, they force themselves to identify with the life of a single person. But in fact, it’s an apathetic compromise! They just find an excuse for not being married. What a sad attitude! Still, there’re women who think they’re superior to others. They cry the following high-flown words: “Viva women!” But in fact, they just want to try to cover the gloomy fact that their relationships are failing. I’m glad I no longer have to live behind such masks. If I hadn’t arrived at Heart Bridge Consulting, if Ms. Chen hadn’t given me her guidance, how could I look through the mist and decide to jump out of it and realize my dream? She’s just like a fairy in a magic house, making me see one thing clearly: stubborn insistence will not get me happiness; hesitation will not help me realize my dream. At my birthday party, I made a wish to marry myself to someone. When I wasn’t sure about realizing my dream, Ms. Chen propelled me to ‘finish it.’ With great anxiety, I awaited for Ms Chen’s matchmaking result! I believed in Ms. Chen’s matchmaking abilities, and as I gradually became clear about my meaningless insistence in the past, now I knew what was important! I could only say that the efforts of my self- improvement were finally showing the fruits! The result? I finally came to terms with an arranged marriage, but the message I got was, “Write a love letter to get a husband for yourself.” What? What’s

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going on? It might be a test devised by Ms. Chen, or it might be a chance. But should I just do it with no reservations? At that time my brain was full of the idea of getting married, so I wasn’t really afraid of courting my husband! I was brave enough, but I was so concerned about ’losing face’ that I found it hard to court a man. My God! Ms. Chen wanted me to court this person? I’d prefer someone else! I struggled for three weeks, thinking about how to avoid him, whom to marry to, and whom I’d accept. I kept to my ‘stubborn insistence,’ so I kept wrestling with myself ! I even got into a panic and asked people and colleagues on the internet if some guy would marry me if I courted him… I was in a state of desperation! I remained indecisive until the last moment, when the super matchmaker was going to go back to America. Time was running out! If I kept refraining from writing that love letter, my birthday wish would never come true! I finally decided to take action. I chose a man that had at least stirred some feeling in me, and started to write my proposal letter. The result proved to be successful! I thought even if I didn’t get him, I wouldn’t have any problems facing him. (Actually my skin was very thick. I felt I was excellent, so I wasn’t afraid of losing face.) Then Ms. Chen returned to America. As I didn’t hear any news, I thought that was the answer! So I hoped the next man would be better! To my surprise, I got the reply in Ms. Chen’s home. I received everyone’s blessing. At that moment I couldn’t find any reason for my happiness. I blossomed like a flower. It was so incredible! I felt as if I was roaming on the cloud! Is this a real? I… I’m going to get married? Someone has agreed to my proposal! My husband looks gentle and handsome. He’s very nice to girls! Is this my future husband?! Afterwards, my husband sent me love letters. People said my smile had never stopped. I bloomed like a flower, and my happiness about the upcoming

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wedding was written on my face. With love letters and blessings, we began on our journey of marriage hand in hand. I finally knew that being in a romantic relationship was so exciting! I often wore a big smile on my face! I hadn’t imagined that a long- distance relationship maintained through the exchange of love letters would be so sweet! Such precious happiness came from the realization of my dream -- made possible by the super matchmaker! She equipped me with the abilities to embrace marital bliss! Without her help, my husband and I would have had rows because of all the chores of a wedding ceremony. Under the guidance of this fairy, I was able to get married within a short time span and even had time to indulge in the romance. The super matchmaker pulled me out of my thinking that it was not necessary to get married. She did it with her love, dedication and words of encouragement. Because of her, I can enjoy happiness at the very moment and be a happy bride, the best heroine of the wedding. I no longer attend others’ weddings with a twinge of envy and jealousy. I had never imagined that this step would change me so much. The first boyfriend-husband in my 28 years of life gives me the happiness that can last for a lifetime! There’re big changes in my life, and a person who’s closely connected with me has finally appeared! This person is my pillow when I sleep. This person can drive me crazy. This person can make me excited. This person can take a walk with me, hand in hand. What a wonderful aesthetic feeling! A good husband will make you fall deeper and deeper in love with him. Unless you do something bad to him, then your love will go stale! If I did get married later, my qualities would become not that good (figure, age, etc.). There’s still the social pressure. These would make me be affected even more. My husband said, “If only I had courted you two years ago…” Ha-ha, it would have been a miracle if I had agreed two years ago, as I was so immature! But he wouldn’t have courted me and even if he had done that, I wouldn’t have

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accepted him. And two years ago, it was impossible for me to court this person. I didn’t know where to put my face when I thought of courting a man. My skin was so thin that if I talked to someone I liked, my face would heat up like in a fever! I would even drive him away! My skin finally becomes thicker as I’m turning into a middle-aged woman. I really have to thank the super matchmaker. Her words really helped me a lot. She’s an indescribable goddess who facilitated my breakthrough. I’d never imagined that I could joke about how I propose to a guy with my colleagues – my confidence was such that in front of my colleagues, I asked a guy, “If I propose to you, do you dare to marry me?” I couldn’t describe how happy and satisfied I felt when I saw their surprised faces! Thinking back on my love letter, it was originally a desperate attempt to grasp the opportunity the matchmaker had created for me. I put all my bets in, successfully made history and become a glorious model for women! It greatly altered my life, attracted numerous acknowledgements of ‘cool,’ and astonished many of my friends! I can only say that the super matchmaker is an incredible fairy. She helped me to do what I wanted to do! Thanks, dear matchmaker! Let’s give three cheers to our big matchmaker! Bravo!

Chapter 4

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My Daughter – A Diligent Matchmaker

My Daughter is Not an Ordinary Matchmaker Chen Zhong-xian I’m very clear that my daughter as a matchmaker is totally different from other matchmakers. Ordinary matchmakers hitch up two people by simply looking at their appearances, education, financial situations and family backgrounds. They think, “Well, these two people look like they are right for each other.” And they match them up together. It all depends on the matchmaker’s long experience. However, my daughter, Hellen, doesn’t do such a thing. She has her own principles. She has also collected much information through several years of learning and observation. And she has hands-on experience in her own married life. Although I don’t know much about the details of her matchmaking, I believe she has her own special way. For example, when one person has the will, determination or motive to get married, my daughter begins to find a partner for him/her. When she finds one, I hear that this potential partner may say no. Quite intriguingly, Hellen just has the power to make the other party eventually also nod his/her head. This is what makes her great and that is what other matchmakers are not capable of doing. Ordinary matchmakers just arrange a meeting or two for the two people. If they don’t like each other, new partner-finding attempts will be made. Hellen is not like that. She knows the personality and family background of a given

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person, delving into his/her situation based on what she knows and trying to persuade this person. She can always make those who say ‘no’ change their mind, and let them decide on the date of the wedding. As the Taiwanese saying goes, “A matchmaker does not guarantee the birth of a son.” This means that an ordinary matchmaker is only in charge until the couple gets married. She doesn’t care about things that happened after the wedding because they should be managed by the married couple themselves. However, as far as I know, my daughter Hellen is not like that. She cares about every married couple. They have to let her know if they have an argument or when they think they’re not suitable for each other. She also prescribes the right medicine to treat a specific problem and offers excellent solutions. Before the problems are fully solved, the couple cannot stop ‘reporting’ to her. This getting to the bottom of the situation is very important. Whether a marriage can be successful or not depends on the people involved. However, it’s not very appropriate to say, “just find the right person. ” Many people argue that you have to be sharp-eyed before you get married, but even the sharpest eyes do not work. How do you know, judging by his appearance alone, he doesn’t snore in his sleep? How do you know he doesn’t curse? How do you know he doesn’t have Athlete’s foot? How do you know he always washes his feet? People only see the bright side when they’re in love, but it’s a different matter after marriage. Someone has told a joke, which goes like this: a newlywed couple has an argument simply because of the different ways they squeeze the toothpaste tube. The husband squeezes from the head, while the wife squeezes from the bottom. This alone can trigger a fight. In my opinion, whether the marriage will be happy or not, depends on the idea of always be faithful to one’s husband no matter what his situation is. It’s very important to ‘accept.’ Someone marries a person but doesn’t accept that he is A, while another marries B but doesn’t accept he is B. This is where the problem comes from. If

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you can accept a person just as he is, everything will be alright. Hellen likes to be with me since she was young. She places full faith in me as a child, so whatever happened, she always asked me for help. When she received a love letter or anything going on with her boyfriend, she came to me for advice. In her mind, she thinks her dad is the best. According to her, many of her ideas and concepts are derived from mine. I often told Hellen my philosophy of life, my views and other stories to her since she could understand language. Therefore, she’s under my influence in these aspects. When I first heard that my daughter was acting as a matchmaker, I thought she just hooked them up randomly. I thought she just happened to encounter two people, one man and one woman, and match them up together. I didn’t think there was anything special. However, recently I found I was wrong. I see that everything she does about matchmaking is carefully planned. She really wants to help the couple to have a successful marriage, so she’s not like the ordinary matchmakers. I think few people can achieve what she’s doing. And she’s acting with correct principles in mind. She not only helps with the ceremony on the wedding day, but she also offers a long-term assistance. I think this way of matchmaking is great and will benefit many unmarried people. Some unmarried people have great fears although they want to get married. There are people who feel that marriage is like a guarded fortress. Those who haven’t gotten married want to go in, while married people want to get out. There are still many people who have a phobia about marriage. It’s not that they don’t want to get married, but when they hear those who have married say that the worst thing in their lives is getting married, they no longer dare to think about marriage. Some people say that being single is like in a paradise! Who has the courage to get married after hearing all these? However, Hellen just has the means to persuade unmarried people and make them believe that as long as they have the will, they can get married.

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What’s more, they can enjoy a lot of happiness after marriage. This increases their confidence in marriage. I’m just describing the fact. Marriage must be managed. It’ ll offer happiness if the couple knows how to manage it. On the contrary, if the couple doesn’t know how to manage, their marriage will become hell. I support Hellen’s ways, which are completely positive, not negative. We encourage her to continue with her work and flourish with every action. For those who don’t know how to manage a romantic relationship, Hellen even helps them write love letters and find lovers. She’s quick- witted on these matters, so it doesn’t take long for her to put a couple together. I’ve attended several of the weddings in which Hellen was the matchmaker. After I talked to the couple’s parents, I found that some of them were grateful but some didn’t approve of what Hellen did. No matter what, Hellen always tried her best to convince them. If she really could not convince the parents, she would ignore the parents’ opinions and stand on the couple’s side. When she did so, their parents put the blame on Hellen, but Hellen never cared about the criticism or gossips. All the newlyweds are very grateful for Hellen’s help. They treat Hellen to a meal and give her a red envelope (a token monetary gift of appreciation) on their wedding anniversaries. I’ve heard of many couples who do so, like C.C. and Irene. Sometimes Hellen tells me about the process of her matchmaking. For example, she ‘negotiated’ with C.C.’s parents in the city of Pingtung and ‘negotiated’ for Justin the groom and Sylvia the bride, who just got married recently. She tells us all sorts of anecdotes. She’s a master of negotiation and communication, always having the means to convince a person. Even if she can’t convince them, she has the way to solve problems. She’s very talented in this respect. One of Hellen’s specialties is to teach others how to travel on the journey of marriage. She says for every 100 couples, there are 100 different situations. She knows where your problems lie after hearing you talk for a few minutes.

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In addition, she is quick in her response. Ordinary people deal with problems with their own set of standards. But in fact, every couple is different, so you need to solve their problems in different ways. Hellen can always prescribe the right medicine to treat a specific problem. This is very important. You can’t treat every illness with a cure-all. Hellen puts a lot of attention in this area. Hellen is really a busy bee. She flies between America, Taiwan and other places. She always has so many things to deal with, but she just can utilize the time during a cup of coffee, a meal or a movie to ponder over someone’s marriage and his/her potential partner. She even solves problems when she’s asleep. She never thinks the workload is too heavy. I encourage her to continue. There is a Taiwanese saying, “By acting as a matchmaker three times in one’s life, one can then fulfill his mission of being born to the world.” That is to say: matchmaking is a wonderful thing! Hellen‘s help to this area is tremendous. She brings the right people together, makes the society complete and beautiful, and creates more and more happy marriages. I think it is her own wish and self-expectation, to make important and long-lasting contributions to the society. I feel wonderful to have a daughter who’s willing to help others. I’m proud of her and I’ll continue to support her.

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Because of My Daughter, People Came to Realize the Beauty of Marriage Mrs. Chen It’s very good that my daughter is a matchmaker. She helps people find partners and live a happy life. This is a good deed and will bring great benefits to herself ! She also feels happy when she sees the union of one person and another. My daughter is really good at this! She has the sense to find the right partner for people. After a few interviews, she knows who will suit the interviewee. Some couples don’t get to see each other many times before marriage. They exchange almost all of their ideas through letters but their married lives are as happy as can be. Everyone I put the question to praises his/her partner. Words said behind the back are truths. I asked them separately one by one, and every one of them is very satisfied with their present husband/wife. Many staff members in the company became husband and wife because my daughter brought them together. She is like a big parent, and the whole company is like a big family. The atmosphere is friendly and touching. I really like it. Some people argue that single people enjoy more freedom but they actually suffer from solitude most of the time. When one has a partner, he feels more secure and wants to go home quickly after work. If you’re all alone whether you’re outside or at home, what’s the good of your life? Young people should get married as quickly as possible. Getting married is like having roots. Both the man and the woman will become stable, as the two are like one flesh. Those who don’t want to get married are actually afraid of marrying the wrong person! Attending weddings brings me a festive mood, so I’ve attended several weddings. The venue looks very impressive when the waiters and waitresses all wear white suits. I feel proud whenever I attend a wedding arranged by my

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daughter. People there look just like members of a big family, and I feel as if I were attending my own children’s wedding. It’s so delightful! My daughter respects the views of the couple’s parents. Sometimes the communication between the newlywed and their parents is not that good, so a happy occasion is turned into an unpleasant one. When this happens, my daughter teaches the newlywed how to skillfully communicate with their parents so that they can have a happy wedding ceremony. Every married staff member in my daughter’s company is grateful to her. Those who originally didn’t plan to get married said they wouldn’t have gotten married if they hadn’t met my daughter. And they wouldn’t have known that marriage is such a good thing. Some people even cried when they told their stories. I was moved to tears because they really touched my heart. Those of you who haven’t gotten married, please get married as soon as possible. There’re also many people who come to ask my daughter to be their matchmaker. I think their dream will come true as long as they receive some training from my daughter. My daughter truly deserves the name: the Matchmaker of the Century!

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Taking Care of You During the Entire Journey Hank I’ve known it for a long time: it’s very sacred when two people promise each other that they’ll spend the rest of their lives together. I’ve attended many of the weddings hosted by Ms. Chen, and I’ve also taken part in the preparation. As far as I see, Ms. Chen plans almost every detail of these weddings – she organizes everything, from the couple’s agreement to get married to their communication with their parents. In addition, she gives these couples clear instructions to deal with problems (which will occur when some details are neglected). It’s very thoughtful of Ms. Chen to attend to every detail for the newlyweds. Weddings organized by Ms. Chen are unlike the weddings I normally see. The biggest difference is that in an ordinary wedding, the couple is usually so hectic that chaos overwhelmed them. They may change their plan because a certain relative says, “You must follow this tradition…” If the bride or the groom doesn’t agree, there’ll be an argument, and the atmosphere before the wedding will be very tense. Problems also occur when people do not fulfill their earlier promises. Some people may say, “I won’t take the betrothal money…” However, when the money is presented, they really take it. This is different from what they’ve promised, but you can’t complain. Then upsets settled in between the two families. Because of similar problems like these, a wedding can become an uncomfortable affair. To be honest, at first I couldn’t bring myself to identify with the way Ms. Chen organizes the weddings. I thought, “Why is Ms. Chen in charge of

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everything?” Opinions other than hers don’t seem to count, and other people seem to be forbidden from having a hand to the wedding. I observed the weddings myself, and I found that it’s very difficult and energy-consuming for Ms. Chen to take care of so many things. Her intention is to protect the couple from being disturbed by annoying trivialities so that they can stand in front of the audience in their best and truly enjoy the wedding. She wants them to step into the banquet hall happily and get married happily. In this way, they can play the role of the best hero and best heroine and have beautiful memories to come back to in the future! What impresses me the most about Ms. Chen is that she can mingle well with the audience in any wedding. She’s very good at communication, so she can enter a conversation with any one, be it an elderly person or a small child. This is her special characteristic. Unavoidably, there are occasionally some special cases at the venue, like a conflict between relatives and friends. Ms. Chen can always resolve the problems on the spot or foresee what would happen and thus preparing the staff members on how to deal with the situations - knowing who will come, and what will happen. We all know that the schedule of a wedding is tight and that staff members have to cope with many emergencies. However, you’ll find that Ms. Chen’s staff members are just different. It’s a real pleasure to be at a wedding organized by Ms. Chen. Ms. Chen says, “Love and romance come after the marriage” and “you should try to have your cake and eat it.” If you really want to have a romantic relationship, don’t put too much energy on a person who doesn’t want to marry you. You can get married first and enjoy the romance later. The point of getting married is to plan for the future. Those who don’t get married cannot understand this. Many people are madly in love before they get married, but the wedding is called off when they face insolvable things during the course of preparation. 

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I still believe in the idea behind ‘true lovers will eventually unite in a marriage.’ But what will happen after marriage? It’s hard to predict. But from what I see, those couples who are brought together by Ms. Chen all enjoy a sweet relationship after marriage. This is really miraculous!

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Mission Impossible – Done!Derek I’ve attended a wedding hosted by Consultant Chen, which was truly pleasing. It was Victoria’s wedding. In fact, I had known her before hand, but my impression of her on the wedding day was truly unique. In the past, I felt that Victoria would not get married so early and that she would be stuck at this point for a very long time. I had this feeling because I had talked with her and knew how she felt, but I hadn’t imagined that I would be at her wedding in the blink of an eye. I said Victoria’s wedding was a pleasure because I knew she used to be reluctant to get married. I had seen her when she didn’t have the slightest interest in marriage. All of a sudden, she changed her mind. Seeing her transformation was really amazing to witness. In the past, I heard people say that it was impossible for a person such as Victoria to get married. They said it was impossible even in a dream. However, I saw the accomplishment of ‘mission impossible.’ Also, everything went smoothly. This was truly pleasing. I have to mention Victoria’s change before and after the marriage. It’s totally unbelievable, almost like a soap opera plot, but it was real! Victoria changed a lot after she went to America. I wondered what would help a person be changed so much? Amazing! I’ve attended a few weddings and worked as a staff member. These experiences all make me feel I’ve contributed to something great. When a couple is going to get married, the wedding is not organized by either family or relatives, but by it is escorted by a team that is well- organized. Although I had attended the wedding, the bachelor’s party and the after-party without making any major contributions, I felt very warm. Who is able to have such great wedding arrangements? People throw parties for you, devise games for your after-party celebration, and help you with the process and the banquet. This kind of feeling is really special.

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 None of the staff members cares about the distribution of work. Everyone competes for the opportunity to help, which is both weird and funny. On one occasion, there were four people fighting for the chance to wash the car. Even a simple thing as washing the car became festive and exciting. In an after-party teasing of the married couple, it was not clear in the end whether the host or the audience was the laughing stock. Everyone was extremely high. Looking back on my past, I think my getting married is also incredible. To me, marriage was a remote idea. I felt that I could only get married when I had sufficient financial backing and an ideal partner, and when everything met my condition. After I got married, however, I found that I had been troubling myself with unnecessary worries. Most interestingly, I thought I would get married after a long romance. But far from it! I began my romantic relationship after marriage. There’re more to look forward to in a married life. My life was simple before marriage. We held hands when we went out, and we felt great after making love. But that was it. There’s so much more interesting stuff in a marriage. We developed mutual understanding, and we felt as if we were kindergarten kids again because we loved frolicking with each other. For example, I would secretly buy some presents for my wife, but I would be always caught on the spot. We’re so happy about these incidents in life. It they had happened before we got married, we would have had an argument. Back then we would feel unhappy if something went wrong because of the other person. It was very interesting, but we never failed to get upset at each other. Ms. Chen is the catalyst for these weddings, including mine. She changes the condition of both the man and the woman first so that they can put their feet on the red carpet. 

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Ms. Chen’s most special skill is that she knows which two people are just right for each other. She always tells us, the employees, not to look at a person’s appearance alone now but to look at his future. She knows which people are more suitable for each other and also respects their views and does not force people to get together. However, she just can look through everyone’s wall and makes a perfect match for that person. Nevertheless, this is just the beginning. Ms. Chen also knows how this person will change, suggesting a direction for him/her to follow at his/her own pace. And the couple will be closer and closer. Everything is just as she predicts, and you can feel her sincerity to help you. Before I got married, Ms. Chen said, “Judging from what I see, this couple does not know what has happened.” Indeed, I didn’t know what impact marriage would have on me at that time. I also didn’t know what good marriage was. When I looked back one year later, I finally understood that my life had changed so much and that Ms. Chen had helped me so much. She always manages to transform a person’s thoughts and life for the better - bit by bit. Her thoughtfulness is present even in a simple chat or a meal together. Ms. Chen helped me a lot so that I could get married. I really admired the way she strived for her goal. She never gave up! Even if a person did not always understand Ms. Chen’s efforts, she never gave him/her up when this person felt down. I know what kind of person I was before I got married. I was hesitant about entering marriage. However, regardless of whether it was her brief words, a letter or something else, Ms. Chen could always enlighten me. The feeling I had was that I knew she would not desert me. She might not be by my side to talk to me every day, but I just knew that her care was with me. Whenever I felt helpless, the first thing that came into my mind was something she had said. It was just like she was beside me. Without Consultant Chen’s help, my wife wouldn’t have married me. Back then I was just a poor man. I had nothing. But Ms. Chen just told me to bring

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the girl to her because she wanted to see Yoyo for herself. To be honest, there were several times when Ms. Chen asked me not to hold out much hope, but she always remembered that I wanted to marry Yoyo. At last it was Ms. Chen who gave me a gentle push. I remember that Ms Chen met up with Yoyo and asked her what she’d most like to have after marriage. Yoyo replied, “Material comfort like a house, a car and money.” Ms. Chen said, “OK! You may go!” The meeting was finished in three minutes, and Yoyo was dumbfounded. Later Ms. Chen told me, “It’ll take quite a while for this girl to change. Don’t think of her for the moment. She doesn’t have any tender feelings for you. Don’t you know that?” Despite her comment, Ms. Chen continued to help me. She wrote to Yoyo, told me what to do, and asked me to take more lessons. At first I didn’t know what the use of taking lessons was, but I later understood that it was for mending matters between Yoyo and I. For example, at first I wondered about the use of the communication lessons. What for? After I attended it, I knew that most of the problems between Yoyo and I came from poor communication. Ms. Chen also asked Yoyo to take lessons and paved the way for our future. Strangely enough, Ms. Chen could always know what I was thinking about even if I didn’t tell her. She even thought of steps for me to follow so that I could improve myself. I was in a daze before I got married, but now I finally know how much effort she had invested on me. She changed my willpower, equipping me with courage to face things that I had not wanted to do. Ordinary people just saw the tip of the iceberg. They said that with the help of a matchmaker, Yoyo and I are a match made in heaven. This was what they see, but there were many details and efforts behind the picture. No one knew. Although I’m the groom, I knew these things one year after the wedding. And I’m afraid what I knew was only a patchy picture, maybe not even one tenth

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of the whole thing. I know Ms. Chen loves Yoyo and I. Although we’re not of blood relations, she’s like a family member, a mom to me. We’re very close. On the level of working, she’s the President, but on the level of practical life, she’s really one of my family members. I can never understand why a person is so willing to help me pursue my love. She cares about my life more than I do. Furthermore, ordinary matchmakers are not in charge of the couple’s life after they get married, but Ms. Chen is different. She dabbles in everything. She tells us even when our argument takes the wrong course, reminds us if the argument shouldn’t have taken place, reprimands us when we pretend to be clueless about what we want. What I feel is: she doesn’t just care about your wedding; she cares more about the stability of your married life. This feeling is very special and difficult to explain to others. She cares in the most detailed way. For example, I’ve never told her what I love to eat, but she just knows. She also knows what type of girls I like. It makes me feel so great to be understood. When I was going to get married, she cared about it more than I did. She was moved, anxious and happy. But she doesn’t bombard people with nagging concern. She just reminds you of the important points. If you do something wrong, she cares enough to make sure you understand and learn. Such care is down to the smallest detail and carries the deepest of love. It’s very difficult for me to describe my feeling. She can always think ahead and consider so many things. She cares about me more than I do.

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Looking Forward to Getting MarriedJoy Each time I attended the wedding ceremonies hosted by Consultant Chen, it is indeed unforgettable. She helps the couple to appear in their best so that they can become the best hero and heroine and catch the audience’s attention on the wedding day. Every wedding is amazing. Ms. Chen always hopes that every single person she knows can have a happy marriage, so she takes the full responsibility of the wedding to let every couple enter a new phase in life happily. From the beginning to the end when the guests leave the venue, the wedding runs smoothly and seamlessly. A complicated ceremony becomes as simple as can be. As long as you work with Ms. Chen, you can have a perfect wedding and marriage. At these weddings, I see Ms. Chen’s look of joy, the newlyweds’ happy smiles, and their relatives’ and friends’ best wishes. This makes me feel that getting married is really a wonderful thing! In the future, I’ll also want to enjoy this important banquet of my life, and I’ll also want to walk steadily and happily toward the other end of the red carpet! It is Ms. Chen who makes marriage so appealing. She fills everyone’s heart with happiness and spread that joy to every corner!

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An Avant-Garde MatchmakerWenwen I’ve been to two of the weddings hosted by Ms. Chen: once is for C.C. and Cube; the other is for Zeno and Emile. My daughter Joy is very close to them, so I was invited to their weddings. The atmosphere of these two weddings is slightly different from that of traditional weddings. The ceremony is simple, solemn and warm. The staff members of Heart Bridge Consulting occupied two or three tables, and I found that they were especially excited, even happier than the guests. Even if it was not their own wedding, they had great fun. In my mind, Consultant Chen is a very clever, intelligent and capable woman. I’ve been to her speech at the Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall and attended other courses, and I feel that she’s a very unique matchmaker. The matchmaker in our tradition seems to be a bit aged and a bit old-fashioned, but Ms. Chen is not. Her image and appearance are very modern. She’s very lively and can enter a conversation with anyone, be it a grandma, granddad or a little kid. What also impresses me is the relationship between the bride and the groom. The happiness that’s revealed from their eye contact is rarely seen in other weddings. They’re sure that they’re very happy and very contented, and the happiness will continue forever. The life of two and the life of one are different. You have to be tolerant enough to enter marriage. You can do whatever you want when you’re single, but when you’re with another person, you need to respect him/ her. In addition, you have to be prepared to go through a period of mutual adjustment, be it long or short. There’re highs and lows in a married life, so it’s important to work with your partner to overcome every obstacle. In this way, you can experience the joy of holding each other’s hand and growing old together.

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Go to Consultant Chen for Any Help You NeedPia’s Dad My view on marriage is: people do need to get married and life can then be considered complete. When I knew my own child was going to get married, I was a bit worried and unprepared though I was happy on the whole. I was delighted because when my kid had his own family, he would be more responsible. Besides, he would have a deeper understanding of his own duties. In fact, both men and women think a solitary life offers more freedom before they get married. They can do whatever they like. After marriage, you have to take more than yourself into consideration. Even if you travel far from home, you’ll worry that your better half is anxious about you. There’s definitely a change before and after the marriage. It’s originally a happy occasion when two people tie the knot, but we sometimes hear that the two people break up in discord because of too many bureaucracies and requirements. We didn’t make any preparation for our son’s wedding because it came quite suddenly. I think Ms. Chen’s ‘decisive action’ is very good. My first daughter-in-law is from the city of Tainan. We know that Tainan people have the most rules among all the Taiwanese. At this time, we need the matchmaker to negotiate for us. This tests her intelligence and communication skills. Victoria’s grandmother left a deep impression on me at the wedding. Her face was gloomy when she arrived at the venue. I remember I called her ‘A-ma (Grandma)!’ when I saw her. She replied crossly, “You shouldn’t call me like

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that! You should call me ‘Chingebo’ (Grandma- in-law)!” This incident left a deep impression for me. Of course, it’s all in the past now. We weren’t clear about the rules of the bride’s family. When there’re more people involved in a wedding, matters become more complicated. I understood that her parents had to respect the views of her grandparents, especially her grandma. Victoria’s grandma is a very clever lady, so how could she marry her granddaughter off in a casual way? Consultant Chen is truly professional. When she dares to approach us with a fait accompli, she’s confident that she can deal with potential opposition. It’s impossible that Ms. Chen would improvise something first and ask you to fix the problem yourself. This is not what a person should do. Victoria’s dad is very sensible. He doesn’t care that much about adhering to rules, so the two families interact quite well. He knows that our family wishes to be simple and low-key, so he follows our customs as much as possible. I’d really like to express my sincere thanks to his consideration. With Ms. Chen as the commander in chief of the wedding, every problem can be tackled. She makes me feel secure. Of course, even a capable man can encounter a touchy situation once in a while. At this time the matchmaker may be bombarded with criticism, so she needs to be tactful, willing and exercise great patience to resolve the dilemma. Ms Chen from Heart Bridge Consulting Company is very good at this. She’s the right person to turn to if you’ve got any insolvable problem. Thank you, Ms. Chen, for your great support. I think my son has married the right person. I’ve mentioned this to my wife several times. I can rest assured that their relationship will be like eating sugarcane from the bottom up -- becomes sweeter and sweeter! My son has gotten married, and I have a good daughter-in-law. Everything is fine like the sunshine after the rain. No traces of previous conflicts are left. I have to say Ms. Chen is not only the person who has brought us good fortune but also a precious super matchmaker!

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Thank You for Finding Me a Good Son-in-LawNovia’s Dad When my daughter Novia phoned me and told me a man had proposed to her, I was surprised! But the first thought that came into my mind was that I wanted to know this man’s family background. From what I knew, his father was a lawyer, his mother was a teacher, and he graduated from Soochow University. The only thing I could tell Novia was, “You have to make the decision as to who you want to depend on for the rest of your life. As your dad, I’ll definitely support you.” I have quite a good relationship with my daughter. There’s no secret between us. When I knew Novia was going to get married, I reminded her that we’re a traditional family, so we hoped her fiancé’s family would visit us before the wedding. Our family background is quite simple. I’m a firefighter, and Novia’s mother is a dressmaker. The point of the premarital visit was to offer an opportunity for both families to know each other so that we could feel secure. We’re all honest people, so there’s nothing to hide. After I knew my son-in-law, I wasn’t a little bit worried about him. To me, it’s not important if a young man is rich or not. As long as he’s willing to improve himself and has a healthy body, he has the best foundation for future prosperity. Will my daughter’s life be comfortable when she marries a rich guy? Not really. If they can’t get along, how can the marriage be happy? Every preparation for the wedding was made almost entirely by Consultant Chen. She really helped us a lot. I don’t care about traditional customs. I think when my daughter marries into a family, she depends on the family to be nice to her. If I make her husband’s family feel uncomfortable in terms of money, my daughter’s future life won’t be good. I wasn’t very chatty at the wedding, not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I knew my son-in-law’s father was a lawyer. He must be very good with language, so I was afraid of saying the wrong thing. In addition, it’s not important if I’m chatty at the wedding or not. As long as my son-in-law’s

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family is nice to my Novia, it’s enough! Ms. Chen is a very kind person. Without her, this marriage wouldn’t have been possible! We trusted her, knowing that she would never match a couple casually. She always inquires into the family background of a potential partner before choosing him/her for a person. At the beginning, I thought we were not good enough for them because I was a firefighter while the father of my daughter’s fiancé was a lawyer. But it turned out that I had been thinking too much. The success of a marriage lies in mutual respect between the couple. I’ve dined with Ms. Chen for a number of times. From my understanding, she did matchmaking as an act of doing good deeds, to let lovers enjoy marital bliss. She’s got many merits, and I can’t list them all. But strangely, I can’t find a single shortcoming. When she helps a person, she doesn’t expect any reward. She once told me her view on marriage and why she picked the son-in-law for me. I could feel from our conversation that she had a strong drive to dedicate herself and to care, she won my complete trust. I first saw my son-in-law Ming at the airport. Because he loved to exercise, he had a deep tan. He’s not like that now. I thought, “Oh! This is my son-in-law! Ha-ha! Looks like a good nice person!” Parents should be a model for their children, so I try to do whatever I’m capable of. Even if it’s something trivial, I’ll do it if I can. In my opinion, daughters should be pampered by their new family. When I see that my daughter is living a comfortable life, I feel so proud as a parent. I’m really glad that my daughter has been married and that she’s married into a good family. I witnessed this successful marriage, which was also a great work completed by Consultant Chen, the super matchmaker. Many thanks to Ms. Chen’s attention and care. She makes me – a father – feel at ease and so happy!

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Consultant Chen Guides My WayDeborah After attending Ms. Chen’s speech and talking to her, I had so many thoughts. I found I had missed out a lot because I only dared to ‘think’ but not act. I’m actually very direct and straight, but I always become a timid kitten when I encounter a romance. I don’t know what I’m afraid of. Maybe I’m so good at ‘making things up,’ so my idea about love is confined to my fantasy. If I hadn’t entered Heart Bridge Consulting center, I might still have been indulging in ‘think’ and never act! My love feelings died a long time ago. I chose to flee from reality and build walls to refuse the men I thought were unsuitable for me. It was quite ridiculous because everything was in my ‘imagination.’ How impractical I was! Ms. Chen used some great examples to point out my problems. For instance, kids go for something directly without ‘thinking about it.’ Making mistakes is better than waiting. Making mistakes is a beautiful way of learning. For example, I missed my flight in my last travel, not just one, but two in a row. In retrospect, that is an interesting, beautiful mistake. It’s also a challenging game. We must be open to change. If our life is always the same, it’ll be so boring, so uninteresting! Now I look back to the mistakes I’ve made, and I find they’re nothing. They don’t have to trouble me. Thanks to Ms Chen’s guidance, in the new year, I plan to get rid of my unhappy past and live all over again. Why marry? What are the advantages of getting married? Why not marry? These questions are too shocking to answer for me. After hearing Ms. Chen’s analysis, I found I didn’t have any reason for not getting married because I couldn’t think of any! I’m so touched by the marriage between Ms. Chen and her husband FuShing. When I was listening to Ms. Chen’s description, many romantic scenes in the movies appeared in my mind. I even wanted to respond to the sweet talk mentioned by Ms. Chen. FuShing said, “You are the best thing that has ever

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happened in my life.” I could hardly hold back my tears when I heard this sentence, because it was so romantic and beautiful. I also want to possess such a romance. I always cry my eyes out when I watch a romantic film, because I really desire my own romantic relationship. In Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise says, “You complete me.” The classic line in Bridget Jones’s Diary is “I love you just the way you are.” These all make me so moved and amazed by the magic power of love. Last night, I was the first person who said ‘Happy Birthday’ to a special him. He was so happy! I also plucked up the courage to ask him if he wanted to see me. He said ‘yes’ twice. I also mentioned that I wanted to treat him to a meal. We’ve also decided on the restaurant. He didn’t hate to see me! See, I ‘made things up’ again! All of a sudden, my question has an answer: he cares about me and places me on his mind. It’s simpler to take action. In fact, the power is always in my hands. I just didn’t use it! My next step will be to meet him. Thank you, Ms. Chen. You have helped me – a lost lamb – with your care and love. I’m not sure if this relationship will be successful, but I know I will speed up my actions. If he’s the wrong person, I won’t insist on him but if he’s the right one, I’ll take action!

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Advocating Marriage is a Radical MoveJeff Consultant Chen says, “Marry first and have the romance later. Love and romance come after the marriage.” To modern men and women, this sentence is almost a joke, and I’m no exception. How is it possible? Unmarried people tingle with fear and can’t help trembling when they hear the word ‘marry.’ How can they understand the words that come after it? Since I was a student, I’ve seen my classmates and friends in different relationships. They’re like countless unexciting but lingering soap operas. It’s so troublesome even to be in a relationship, not to say in a marriage. A married couple has to spend the rest of their lives together. How much courage, skill and patience are required? And look at those friends and relatives who are brave enough to enter marriage. How many of them still have sweet romance, apart from daily trivialities, in their lives? It seems that the goal of a person’s life contains nothing other than waiting for the children to be born and grow up. That’s why many people cannot endure anymore after their children leave home for university. They get divorced. If you hear the pervasive negative view on marriage, you’ll feel that Ms. Chen’s words are like a bolt from the blue -- a big shock. Of course, Ms. Chen’s words are not targeted at others alone. She practices what she preaches. She has a very sweet marriage and a husband who loves her very much. Ms. Chen encourages her employees, creates lovely couples and helps them have wonderful marriages. She’s like a virtuoso who sheds a bright light in this gloomy world, which is full of deep disappointments over the ideas of marriage. There’s really a big difference between getting married and remaining single. When a person gets married, he’s like a boat that finds its shore. He’ll not drift around anymore. When a seed touches the ground, it can begin to sprout,

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produce roots and grow strong. Only then can there be fragrant flowers of love for you to enjoy. If you want to enjoy love without getting married, you’re like a farmer who daydreams about harvesting without sowing seeds! In this modern and civilized world, Ms. Chen is bold enough to promote marriage. Apart from being exceptionally brave, she’s a legend of our times, a fortune-maker of happy couples.

Chapter 5

An Eternal Creation

Matchmaking is an Art

 Hellen Chen

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The Adventure of Finding Your True Love

Why do people say getting married is a big event in life? There must be a reason. It’s really not easy to just ‘make up your mind to get married’ – this is a sacred promise. Once a couple decides to get married, from the beginning to the moment they step on the red carpet, you can see how their eyes sparkled. You can see the joy when they exchange their vows with each other, you can see their determination to be together and their willingness to shine together in this world. To me, these moments are not just beautiful. They’re eternal. The two of them do not necessarily experience such feelings at the same time. Sometimes one experiences them before the other. Every time the moment is going to come, it’s like when you focus your camera on a target – at first the picture you see is blurred, so you keep turning the focus ring. But once the focal length is correct, your picture becomes very clear. And you know it has happened -- with a ‘click,’ just like the sound you hear when you press the right number on your safety- deposit box. When the couple’s willingness to spend the rest of their life together becomes clear, you see their tears, their emotional power can be analogous to an ‘explosion.’ Before it happens, I know that it’s coming and that it’s time that it comes! It’s like you know a flood is coming or a volcano is going to explode before it happens because you can feel the power of the undercurrent. You know it’s going to appear and that it’ll definitely happen! When that touching moment arrives, I always know. Because I always accompany the couple on their journey, I won’t miss out on anything. This is also the most special part of my matchmaking. Each time, I see the bride’s joy and the groom’s happiness. I see that they have all kinds of emotional bursts when they have ‘decided’ on the creation of a world for themselves. Such true

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love and firm promises are just incredibly beautiful!

Collecting Eternal MomentsMatchmaking is really a profession that is based on conscience. That is because I see the couple’s extreme happiness, the over-the-top elation he/she feels when he/she makes the vows. Perhaps some couples simply say “I’m finally married off ” or “I’m the groom. I’m married!” But whatever language they use to describe or express their feeling, I see the moment when they sparkle within. The unique feeling this moment gives is similar to that of an amazing sunrise, a beautiful sunset, a gentle crescent moon, or a bright full moon. Such beauty makes me firmly believe in the eternity of true love. I’m willing to endorse their relationship, bring them together, host their wedding and even sign my name and put my seal on the marriage certificate. I truly feel for them. A touching moment like this doesn’t just happen on the wedding when the couple says “I do. ” Sometimes it appears when I help them try on the suit or the dress, when they agree to get married or when they shed tears. Collecting these moments is one of my greatest pleasures in my matchmaking. To me, it is a special enjoyment and an extra reward of being a matchmaker. When these touching moments appear, I often feel that I’m the biggest winner -- because I’m privileged to receive and feel the beauty and tender emotions of so many first moments. Besides, what I see with my own eyes and encounter is usually more profound and more exact than the newlyweds themselves could express. I feel that I have a jewelry box with all sorts of treasures within or a photo album with a collection of spectacular scenes. This is the bonus of my matchmaking and a blessing from God. It takes just a moment to create these beautiful moments, the vows of eternal love and the promises to grow old together. Yet we all know that one second can determine a whole life. 

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The power of determination is priceless, an instant moment can become eternity. I’ve never missed out on any touching moment during my matchmaking career. This is why I say I’m a matchmaker without a single failure, like a sharp shooter who can always hit the target. I don’t mean to say that every couple I bring together does not argue with each other or that their married life is free from problems. I mean that I see their determination and will to spend the rest of their life together when they promise to be each other’s lifelong partner. I see it all. It’s like when you taste the real salted mullet roe. You see a glaze on the surface when you cut into it and smell the subtle fragrance when it melts in your mouth. You know it’s genuine. To me, the emotional feelings of these touching moments are the best returns and rewards. Because of them, I’m never tired of matchmaking. Such pleasure is like when one sees a newborn baby or hears the child uttering ‘mom’ for the first time. That happiness fills you up! I always have tears of joy every time I encounter a moment like this.

I am touched by the decision, the beauty of life. That moment means success and that moment is priceless!

The Vows as Spectacular as the First Light of DaybreakI don’t mean to force people to get married. I also don’t mean that marriage is absolutely necessary. However, every time I see that a person is willing to change and truly wishes to get married or baptized by marriage, I feel that I see the first light of the day! When she or he wants to get married, it is an incredibly touching moment! For example, I remember the moment when Cecilia agreed to get married. I

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cried for half an hour and couldn’t stop the swelling of all my emotions! To make her get married, I’d worked for eight years. When I saw her nod her head full of joy and hope, I was exhilarated! It is more than just a feeling of discovering a new window when all doors seem to be closed. That beam of light at dawn signifies the upcoming sunrise. This sight is very stunning and exciting because you know the dark night has really come to an end, and the bright morning is ahead of you. There’s another kind of sentiment apart from this one. It appears when you see a person who has held no hope for marriage becomes a bride-to-be. She has mixed feelings. She feels indignant, angry, revengeful, sad and happy and yet worried that she did not do her part to create the future generation -- all at the same time. Her tears contained all of sweet, bitter, sour and saline. Seeing a person like this makes me feel that life is precious. It is so real, leaving such a deep mark in my mind; it is completely remarkable. Sometimes encountering a moment like this is like seeing a miracle. To ordinary people, getting married may not be anything special. But in the world of a couple, getting married may be as miraculous as turning a desert into a city. Originally these people are on the verge of complete hopelessness, feeling thirsty, hot and exhausted walking in a desert. However, when they lift their heads, a lush green field and clear springs come into sight. They shout in disbelief, “What a miracle!” An example like this makes me feel extremely touched and warm. No matter which of the couple nods first, it’s like water or oil has just sprung from a newly-drilled well or oil well. This moment is amazing and delightful. It is this kind of feeling that a miraculous moment is tuned into eternity.

Venturing from a Desert to an Oasis with My Sixth SenseWhen I do matchmaking, I enter the world of the couples in this way. I feel for

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them and explore their sentiments. I walk in the desert with them, encounter the oasis with them and shed tears of joy with them. There are times when it is the man who spends a lot of time waiting for the woman to say “Yes.” When the woman says “Yes” at last, it is not the man who cries, but the woman! The man freezes with surprise and almost drops his jaw. This scene is truly quite something to behold! I often have great adventures in the world of the men and women that I have helped. My stories are like epics because I explore different universes without knowing what risk I’ll face the next minute. It may be a gun or cannon. Sometimes what’s before me is a sheer cliff, but sometimes what lies ahead is a surprising way out. To be honest, I’m not sure that I’ll succeed when I embark on a new matchmaking task. It is not like what everyone thinks, “As long as it’s conducted by Consultant Chen, it’ll be successful.” In fact, every task is an adventure. It’s full of surprises and risks. What’s on my mind is how to make things happen and how to dig out the treasures in a person’s heart. The difficulties I encounter are like those of the tomb raiders. I believe the treasures are buried somewhere unknown in everyone’s heart. Sometimes not even the person himself or herself believe in the existence of these treasures, but I know they must be somewhere out there. With this faith in mind, I set off on an expedition without any maps. I look for miracles based on my sixth sense. When I see a wasteland, a desert or a maze in my way, I use every tool I have to overcome difficulties. I walk each step with bravery and push through every barrier with faith. I search here and there, high and low. I find the one part and then the other. When I finally find the pair that could go together, a marriage is formed. It’s very appropriate to say that matchmaking is like having a treasure hunt adventure. When I find the masculine half and the feminine half and put them together, a spectacular sight will appear, just like in the movies when two

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separate pieces of the treasures match up. The world has a dramatic change when this happens. The most sincere hearts will make the stubborn stone nod its head, make a shut door open and change the way the world operates.

Creating Those Mysterious and Charming Changes in LifeI’ve visited different universes and lives because of matchmaking. What are looked for in a movie are treasures, while what I create is life. When love comes, the amazement I feel is a thousand times more wonderful than any key moments in a movie, be it the moment when two halves of a ring are matched up or when a key fits into the keyhole of an ancient grave. The soft ‘click’ so looked forward to by the audience in the cinema pales a thousand times in comparison to the moment when love happens. I think matchmaking is a sublime, sacred and magnificent task. It is not because I’m doing it, but because love and marriage themselves are themselves the greatest things in the world. When I match up two halves and create a new world in which two people become one flesh, new lives will be born from it. This is not as simple as treasure hunting in the movies. It is a genuine attempt to match up lives and make the enigmatic and charming changes in life happen. This makes me feel good. I’m so engrossed in it that no matter how many thousand miles I have to walk for it, I’ll never get tired of it! It’s very reassuring for me to see the mental and physical changes of a couple after they get married. The man is very contented and the woman is very happy. It’s like seeing a child growing up, hearing him call ‘mom,’ and knowing that he is able to go to the bathroom on his own. To be more precise, I see the couple going through the rite of passage and consummation. When they finally find someone they could spend the rest of their life with, they become stable -- they become completely different. 

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Even when I see them in an argument, I smile because this is the first spark of confrontation in life, you can see the fireworks setting off. I feel happy for them. This marriage is alive. It’s also like successfully starting a fire, then looking at the beautiful flames of life and dancing along -- high spirited and beaming with joy! When a newlywed starts to argue, they tend to make a big deal out of nothing. Because they’ve just become man and wife, arguments are new to them, and they think they are serious. To me, these couples are very adorable. My feeling is like a parent. But I am different from ordinary parents. I have more than just a few children to look after. I have so many ‘children’ to attend to as if I have so many firework displays to watch. And I will continue admiring those fireworks. In addition, in terms of finding partners for children, ordinary parents sometimes just let them have their own way and wait for the good news. As a matchmaker, I’m different. I care more about their marriage matters more than their parents. This allows me to see many more ‘sceneries’ and let me have more opportunities to accompany and observe the wonderful changes in the couple. Thus I also get a chance to appreciate the mystery and beauty within their relationships.

Spreading the Touching Moments to More PeopleSometimes I talk about my own feelings, thoughts, sentiments, surprises and shocks. To many, what I’ve experienced is new or they never know such a wonderful world like this exists. The reason why I wrote down these words is to share with others my beautiful experiences, the places I’ve been to, the new lands I’ve found, or the splendid, spectacular and miraculous scenery I’ve seen. I want to spread these touching moments to the rest of the world. I wish to let the resonance of this beautiful world shared by like- minded individuals. I love beauty but now I want to share this exclusive feeling with those who love beauty just as I do. I am very contented. And I hope others will also be happy.

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 The process of matchmaking is like arriving at Shangri-La, at a sacred place, or at a magnificent site, or when you see fireworks, lovely streams and hot springs, or when you discover a quirky old tree. When people hear the term ‘the Matchmaker of the Century,’ they may just be thinking about the number of couples matched up by me. This is of course important, but I believe I didn’t produce the most number of couples in the world. What I value in my matchmaking is different from the ordinary, conventional thinking and requirements. I experience lives, match up lives and create new lives. This process is dangerous but wonderful. It is dangerous because there are so many unknowns lying ahead of me, waiting for me to overcome them one by one. On the other hand, the process is wonderful as well because it is an adventure of searching for love. When I found the treasure, the dazzling pearl shining in front of my eyes, I know I have changed the world. The instant when I find the touching moment and true love – that is really so so beautiful! The willingness to embark on an adventure to ‘search for love’ is the surprise and success that matchmaking brought. When I see the treasures, the commitment for a new day, the fight for life, the striving for beauty and the creation of eternity, I feel that everything I do is worthwhile. This is my firm belief in matchmaking. I’m willing to dance with it for the rest of my life -- never tired of it!

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The Art of Matchmaking

The art of matchmaking can be compared to carving. A sculptor gradually carves a work of art out of the material he has chosen, whether marble or ebony. He has many possible choices for his sculpture, which can become any shape he likes. He doesn’t necessarily have to have an idea in mind during carving. The point is to take full advantage of the material. This is the creativity of life and is very intriguing. If a woman got a great figure, she’ll look gorgeous whatever she wears. Perhaps a certain style may suit her particularly well, but this specific style still has many variations. She can wear a formal dress, a skirt, or a pair of pants. The list goes on and on. So there’re no rights and wrongs in what she wears. She may not wear a sweater or a jacket today -- it will not be a problem.

Endless Creativity, Endless CreationsArt is a taste, a spiritual perception and an aesthetic. As long as an item is intriguing, intricate, able to interest, delight, impress or attract, it is art. However, I don’t mean to argue that matchmaking is art. I’m also not showing off my knowledge or viewing others’ lives as works of art. I respect everyone’s nature, their calling and their rights. What I mean is that in the process of matchmaking, there are so many changes that are elusive and never in one’s control. The essence of art lies in creation itself, which doesn’t have specific rights and wrongs. You don’t necessarily need to use a specific color and a specific model, and you don’t need to follow any conventional way or rule. I proposed the idea that ‘anyone could be a potential husband.’ This is art because it involves all sorts of changes and forms. There’re always different ways of having a date or expressing love, just like the

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fact that there’re countless love songs. People never reach an agreement as to which song is the best, as they have different tastes. Human beings have been singing love songs for hundreds of thousands of years, but there’re still people who continue writing and singing new ones. Some old songs are nice, but some new songs are also nice. There’re different forms, melodies, tempos and lyrics but they’re all beautiful, so there’re no right and wrong. I’m a self-proclaimed ‘artist of life’ because I enjoy the versatility, the endless creativity and forms. This is why I hail matchmaking as art. Many things are unknown in the process of matchmaking but one shouldn’t avoid problems and shy away from difficulties. The beauty of a problem doesn’t lie in hatred of it and avoidance but in confronting and solving it. The end results that come from challenging, defeating and eradicating problems are why problems are valuable. This level of art is very realistic. It is also part of my art of life, or my overall attitude towards life.

An Art that Combines Space with TimePeople in this world put more emphasis on material rewards, so the ‘artistic work’ of matchmaking seems invisible. However, for those who can see, it is concrete. To ordinary eyes, matchmaking is nothing special. Because they aren’t involved in the whole process, they can’t grasp the exact significance. For example, all mothers love to talk about their children’s early lives, about what they did when they were young, about how difficult it was to care for them, about how great the labor pains mothers suffered to deliver the baby and so on. This process may look boring in other people’s eyes, but to the mother, it is so real and so significant because she’s the only one who has been through the process. 

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Now I’ve written a book about what I’ve experienced. Those events will also become concrete. However many efforts I’ve spent will still remain abstract. It’s like music, which is an art of time. Unless you record it and rewind to listen, you’ll lose it forever. Matchmaking is more like dancing, an art that combines space and time. There’re music, time, style, form, dancers’ bodies, changes and lines. If you compare matchmaking to the material world, you can say matchmaking is versatile, rich and absolutely concrete. It can be duplicated, understood and felt.

Matchmaking is Like the Ever- Changing KaleidoscopeWhen organizing a wedding ceremony, I only keep a simple ritual. The point is to have blessings from all the relatives and friends. They come as ‘witnesses’ to send their best wishes. The wedding is not a matter of just two persons. People take part in a wedding to feel the festive atmosphere. Some people quite like ‘red bombs’ (invitations for weddings) because they can see many of their friends at the wedding. Some people like attending weddings and eating wedding cakes but they don’t care that much about giving wedding money or rituals. Getting married is indeed positive and festive; the tradition of giving ‘wedding money’ to the newly wed gives them a great beginning. However, different views on wedding customs can sometimes trigger a bitter feud between the two families. So I think customs shouldn’t be the focal point of a wedding. In my opinion, one should invite as many relatives and friends as possible. When they’re brought under the same roof, they become a special record in your life and create an art of space and time. People cheer for each other, encourage each other and bless each other. This is what I put special emphasis on when organizing a wedding. I begin working hard to create happiness for a person since I first know him/her. I don’t like to be with people who do not like me. This is how I choose

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my friends. However, I don’t rest on my likes and dislikes at first sight. As soon I know a person, I begin to develop my love toward him/her and establish channels of communication. I’m sincere from the very beginning of a friendship. I don’t tell lies. I only tell the truth. Those who can’t stand me will leave me automatically, and those who can will stay and become my lifelong friends. I’m constantly making new friends, but I also maintain my relationships with old acquaintances. I love travelling around the world and making friends everywhere. Making friends is my most favorite hobby. I’m very willing to create happiness for my friends. I think this is the meaning of life – creating something to share. It’s full of fun and is itself the art of life. Just like the ever-changing kaleidoscopic patterns, life must be full of fun and creativity. Matchmaking is the same.

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Maxim: Love is Stronger than Gold

There’s one more tip for a happy marriage than learning and practicing. I often use this Chinese saying, “One must follow the chicken if she marries a chicken, and a dog if she marries a dog.” This is difficult to accept for many people. They think, “Why should I follow him? Why should I follow him wherever he goes?” Many modern girls believe in self-independence and personal power. They wonder why they should change for him. Many people fell indignant when they hear the Chinese saying. They argue that this saying is promoting making compromises and blind obedience. In fact, these are misunderstandings about the expression. ‘Marrying a chicken’ means that the chicken is your choice, so you ‘follow him.’ You need to learn, more or less, to understand the ‘chicken’ since it’s your choice. If you don’t do so, look what would happen! If you marry a chicken but don’t follow him, or you marry a dog but don’t follow him, a problem will immediately occur – that you marry a chicken but follows a dog. This might even mean you’re having extramarital affairs or always opposing to what your husband says. Then I’ll ask you, “Why did you get married in the first place?” Whether it’s the wife following the husband or the husband following the wife, it doesn’t matter. I won’t oppose the idea of changing the expression into ‘One must follow the chicken if HE marries a chicken, and a dog if HE marries a dog’ -- if you want to highlight women’s rights and please the feminists. However, the point doesn’t lie in the fact that he marries her or she marries him. This is just a matter of rhetoric in communication. The point is to find a collective goal for the two to strive after together. This is the meaning of marriage vows.

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 If you don’t follow the chicken or the dog when you marry him, it’s like while you are working for A company, you do the tasks of B company, or you are working in B Company, and yet you adopt A company’s policies and follow C company’s orders. Isn’t it ridiculous? I think the reason behind the arguments on the expression ‘One must follow the chicken if she marries a chicken, and a dog if she marries a dog’ is still lack of understanding. Once you comprehend the meaning, there’s no room for disagreements, as following a chicken or a dog when you marry him is as natural as wanting to have something to eat when you’re hungry.

People Always Find Satisfactions in ConversationsFor instance, if your husband loves playing video games, you need to have a knowing of basic terms although you don’t need to master video games. In this way, you can enter a conversation with your husband – because he really would want to talk about video games with you. If your husband is a fan of cars, but you don’t even know what BMW is, then you’ll become a boring wife. This rule of thumb doesn’t just apply to husband and wife. It’s also applicable to friends. If your husband is head over heels in love with something, it’s best if you are also a little crazy about it, or he’ll find a girl as crazy as him to talk about his interest. If this does happen, you’re in no position to be angry, as people always find great satisfactions in good conversations. Therefore, wives should know something about what their husbands like, in order to enter a conversation with them. What’s so touching about this is that the wife is very willing to spend time and energy to listen to her husband. This part is very important, but many women can’t make it. That’s why they are like strangers to their husbands. Why does a man have affairs with the female secretary in his office? Because

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his wife is only interested in playing mahjong, but the female secretary understands everything this man prefers. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s in love with the secretary and hates his wife. It’s all because he can easily enter a conversation with the secretary! If your husband is a writer, you don’t have to peruse every book he’s written. But if you are not willing to chat with him even a little about his career, thoughts and pleasures of creation, or if you don’t even know he’s written books, you’re going too far! Even if your husband doesn’t have any love affairs, your relationship can’t be in any shape or form good! Consequently, if you want to love a person and hope to have a sweet marriage but don’t want to learn anything about what this person likes, you’ll be punished by God before you are even cursed by others. Even if the two of you still share the same bed, the rift between you will never disappear. This is easy to understand. There’s nothing difficult or controversial about it. A wife must show a great interest in what her husband is passionate about. In this way, when your husband sees you, he will feel your affections and will have tremendous interest. The wife is totally able to create and be in control on this matter.

It Only Counts When You Win the Heart of Your Better HalfWhen my husband has a new idea about his work, business or any creation, I’m definitely the first person he shares his ideas with. When he encounters any problem in life, I’m also the first person he breaks the news to. Some people may feel it’s annoying, but the point lies in whether this person is the one you really want to be with or not. I’m very proud that my husband is so passionate about sharing his world with me! Originally I couldn’t understand a word he said, but I spent at least ten years of hard work, to learn how to listen to him and understand his world. Because I love him so much, I’m willing to spend time and energy to accomplish the task. This is very easy to understand and to achieve. Where there’s a will there’s

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always a way. There’s a strict rule between husband and wife. That is, the score of the wife is graded by the husband, and the husband is graded by the wife. There’s only one person in the world who can grade you, and that person is your better half. To win this score, you really need to work hard. It’s not that easy. You have to make your husband feel that you’re the best wife in the world, that marrying you is the greatest feat he has accomplished, and that being with you is the happiest thing ever happening to him. Only then it would count. These are the points you need to earn. Even if you say you’re very beautiful, you’ll get no points when your husband says “Really? ” You may say, “Wow! I’m a great wife! I cook every day and know how to manage this household!” But your husband says, “So? You do not know how to talk to me and you do not know how to dress up!” No points. So, what should you do to be a good wife? It’s easy. Ask your husband, “What would you like me to do?” And say, “OK, no problem.” Have the mindset that whatever he says, you can do! Ask him this question every day, and if you really work hard to achieve what he requires of you, your grades will be high. At least he’ll feel that you’re truly considerate. When you win his heart, your points will be high! I’m a wife who receives a full score. This is given by my husband. People say that you’d better find a matchmaker who has a happy marriage. At least I have this basic qualification. And I hope I’m also a matchmaker that receives a full score. I’ll continue to work hard and improve myself. I sincerely hope that all the men and women in the world will become happy couples. Lovers will always have my blessings. May lovers find each other, enjoy love and create a perfect happy ending!

Appendix

Wedding Photo Gallery

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262 The Matchmaker of the Century

The Matchmaker of the Century, Hellen Chen and her staff behind the scenes.

C.C & Cube with Hellen Chen making a toast to the wedding guests.

The Matchmaker of the Century, Hellen Chen and her staff behind the scenes.

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262 The Matchmaker of the Century

The Matchmaker of the Century, Hellen Chen and her staff behind the scenes.

C.C & Cube with Hellen Chen making a toast to the wedding guests.C.C & Cube with Hellen Chen making a toast to the wedding guests.

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Wedding Photo Gallery

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The perfect match of the quarrelsome happy lovers, Derek and YoYo.

Derek and YoYo with Hellen Chen.

The perfect match of the quarrelsome happy lovers, Derek and YoYo.

Wedding Photo Gallery

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The perfect match of the quarrelsome happy lovers, Derek and YoYo.

Derek and YoYo with Hellen Chen.Derek and YoYo with Hellen Chen.

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264 The Matchmaker of the Century

Maso and Ayumi discovered: the happy Prince and Princess do not belong only to story books.

Jason and Vivian began their journey to the next milestone in life.

Maso and Ayumi discovered: the happy Prince and Princess do not belong only to story books.

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264 The Matchmaker of the Century

Maso and Ayumi discovered: the happy Prince and Princess do not belong only to story books.

Jason and Vivian began their journey to the next milestone in life.Jason and Vivian began their journey to the next milestone in life.

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Wedding Photo Gallery

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The decision to spend their life together made the bride and groom shine.

Justin and Sylvia bask in the blessings from all.

The decision to spend their life together made the bride and groom shine.

Wedding Photo Gallery

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The decision to spend their life together made the bride and groom shine.

Justin and Sylvia bask in the blessings from all.Justin and Sylvia bask in the blessings from all.

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Zeno and Emile have never expected that good luck will happen to them.

Zeno, Emile and Hellen Chen toasting to the wedding guests.

Zeno and Emile have never expected that good luck will happen to them.

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Zeno and Emile have never expected that good luck will happen to them.

Zeno, Emile and Hellen Chen toasting to the wedding guests.Zeno, Emile and Hellen Chen toasting to the wedding guests.

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Wedding Photo Gallery

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Johnson and Irene took a photo with Hellen Chen and staff.

Johnson’s complete joy tells us that his world will never be the same.

Johnson and Irene took a photo with Hellen Chen and staff.

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Johnson and Irene took a photo with Hellen Chen and staff.

Johnson’s complete joy tells us that his world will never be the same.Johnson’s complete joy tells us that his world will never be the same.

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268 The Matchmaker of the Century

Spring comes after Jack and Janet made a decision to take responsibility for their future.

Marty and Shirley took a photo with Hellen Chen and guests.

Spring comes after Jack and Janet made a decision to take responsibility for their future.

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268 The Matchmaker of the Century

Spring comes after Jack and Janet made a decision to take responsibility for their future.

Marty and Shirley took a photo with Hellen Chen and guests.Marty and Shirley took a photo with Hellen Chen and guests.

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Wedding Photo Gallery

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After finding the perfect half, you can say that there are no regrets!

Engage in the fierce battle of love for so many years, Pia and Victoria finally got married.

After finding the perfect half, you can say that there are no regrets!

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After finding the perfect half, you can say that there are no regrets!

Engage in the fierce battle of love for so many years, Pia and Victoria finally got married.Engage in the fierce battle of love for so many years, Pia and Victoria finally got mar-

ried.

The Adventure of Finding True Love

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