The Missing Mystery of Mr. Bullett

By

Taylor Adams, Alexandre Tallieu, Sydney Fiset, JamieKnapp-Mcneely, Magz

A spin off of Bayridge The Musical by Michael Bullett

.ACT I

Scene 1

BRIDGET, a valley girl, walks onstage texting uponher phone. She stands center stage. Suddenly thewarning bell rings and BRIDGET perks upexcitingly. The music for "Were Off To DramaClass" (Good Morning Baltimore) begins to play.

Were Off To Drama Class

BRIDGET:

Oh Oh Oh, What can I say?Im on my way to be a starOh Oh Oh, having a teacher beyond compareI know Ill get thereThe lights spell my nameIm so close to fameImagine the clothes that Id get to wear

Oh Oh Oh Ive waited all dayCause no other class can compare

ALL cast run onstage

All:

Were off to drama classFinally it is here at lastLearning things that we never knewWithout drama what would we do?

Were off to drama classWere on our way and were going so fastOther kids they will never seeWhat drama class means to me

ALL cast exit except for CHAD, a jock.CHAD:

Oh Oh Oh, Gym class was fullSo they put me in drama class insteadOh Oh Oh, To be honest though I like it a lotMore than I thoughtWhen I hear that bellI know very wellThat drama class is the place for me

So Oh Oh, Sports they can waitI can hear the stage calling my name

2.

ALL cast runs back onstage.

ALL:

Were off to drama classFinally it is here at lastLearning things that we never knewWithout drama class what would we do?

Were off to drama classWere on our way and were going so fastOther kids they will never seeWhat drama class means to me

REESE:

I know its time for, Drama class to beginMore than math it makes me excitedMy glasses fog up and I cant see aheadSomeone throw me my inhaler before I drop dead

REESE stumbles off in asphyxiation.

BETH:

Oh Oh Oh Pops told me hunFollow me and your mum and youll own this farmNo No No, I said no wayNow that drama class, has shown me the way

My Folks tell me noYou cant act theres no hopeBut I know Mr. Bullett believes in me

J-NAN walks onstage with bongos (Playing to thebeat)

J-NAN:

Oh Oh Oh, everyday I praymy drama class will last all day

ALL:

We love you drama classFinally it is here at lastLearning things that we never knewWithout drama what would we do

We love you drama classWere on our way and were going so fastOther kids will never seeTheyll just never see

3.

What drama class means to meWhat drama class means to me What drama class means to me

Scene 2

The cast shows up in the drama room in anenergetic hurry. BRIDGET and CHAD immediately sitdown on one side of the room. BRIDGET textsvigorously on her phone. REESE opens up a mathtext book and begins to do homework on the otherside of the room. BETH stands near the center ofthe room and begins to practice her line dancing.J-NAN sits down cross legged C.S. and begins tohum as if meditating.

BETHDo yall think this here choreography is slick enoughfor Mr. Bulletts Wizard of Oz show?

CHADNot unless he changes the show to The Hick of Alabama

(CHAD laughs obnoxiously)HA HA HA, Am I Right?

CHAD reaches to high-five BRIDGET but she is toooccupied by her phone to realize. CHAD awkwardlyslips his hand away and takes his phone out andstarts texting.

BETHHe can put on whatever show he wants. Hes still alwaysgoing to be the best teacher here at Bayridge.

REESE(Looks up from his homework)

Precisely the truth!

BETHWhatchu workin on there Reese?

BETH pulls up a box beside REESE andCaptain-Morgans onto it.

REESEWell I was solving my math problems for the night. ButI ended up just sketching Mr. Bullett instead.

REESE holds up an epic sketch of Mr. Bullett.

BETHDarn tootin thats good!

4.

REESEHes just such a fantastic teacher I couldnt helpmyself.

BETHYou gots that right! I dont have an idea where boutsI would be if it werent for Mr. Bulletts drama class.

CHADYoud probably be taking woodshop with the rest of thecountry bumpkins.

BETHWell how bout you then pretty boy, this here aint nojock kind o class. Whys yall here?

CHADThats Chad to you, and Ill have you know power fitwas full this semester. Listen, I didnt choose to hangout with a whole bunch of drama geeks for a wholeperiod every day like this, I got forced into it. But Iguess Bullett makes it fun enough for me.

REESEThats the spirit Chad!

CHADThats Mr. Chad to you, nerd brain!

J-NANWoah. The negative energy is cramping my vibes boys andgirls. Could you please keep the volume to an all timelow.

BETHSorry J-Nan.

BRIDGET(Screams in anger/despair)

Gaaahhh!!!

J-NANNot a good start.

CHADWhats wrong Bridget?

BRIDGETI texted Blake a whole three minutes ago and he stillhasnt texted me back yet, but he just liked some othergirls photo on instagram! Oh Em Gee!

5.

J-NANBridget, youre derailing my vibe train.

BRIDGETSorry, I just get a little too excited before thisclass. This is like my favorite class of the day andthats saying a lot considering I sit beside Sebastianin chemistry. Hes spanish.

BRIDGET daydreams about spanish boys. The finalbell rings and the team positions chairs in a semicircle and sits in them.

BETHLet the class begin yall!

CHADLets get her done!

REESELet us commence!

J-NANI want to let the drama flourish through me!

BRIDGET is silently texting, the crew turns tolook at her as she is not adding to theexcitement. She looks up.

BRIDGETSpanish boys wohoo!

There is silence.

CHADGuys, is Mr. Bullett even here today?

REESEI believe I witnessed him exiting the staff room beforesecond period.

BETHI aint seen him.

BRIDGETAre you guys talking about that really nice old baldguy that teaches this class?

CHADYeah.

6.

BRIDGETNo I havent seen him.

CHADWell we cant just sit around here doing nothing canwe?

J-NANSounds like my kind of Jam.

J-NAN pulls out bongos and begins to lightly tapon them.

REESEAccording to my calculations we do need an authorityfigure in the room to commence with the class.

BETHYall are right.

CHADWell its not like Mr. Bulletts never gonna show up oranything, hes probably just out across the street orsomething.

J-NANMy spiritual vibes are letting me remember that I didnot see him over there at lunch.

BRIDGET(Puts phone away, Stands on chair)

Wait a minute guys. If Reese saw Mr. Bullett justbefore second period, and J-Nan didnt see him atshoppers during lunch, and hes not in the room with usnow. And since those are the only three places Mr.Bullett ever is, and his bald head is too shiny tohide. That must mean only one thing. Mr. Bullett is...Missing.

Gasps are heard through the crew, BRIDGES phonegoes off.

BRIDGETOH Em Gee! Blake texted me back!

BRIDGET goes back to texting on her phone.

BETHMissin?

REESEWhat a catastrophe? Who would commit such a atrocity!?

7.

CHADReese I dont even know what that word means.

REESENevermind it, You realize this dictates that dramaclass cannot go on without Mr. Bullett

CHADGoddamned!

BETHGolly.

J-NANNo Bullett no class bro.

BRIDGETWebsters dictionary states, Atrocity: an extremelywicked or cruel act, typically one involving physicalviolence or injury.

BETHViolence or injury?

BRIDGETYass thats what I said!

REESEMy favorite teacher put through violence or injury, Buthes such a pleasent fellow!

REESE takes inhaler and starts breathing throughit vigorusly.

Thats the man that helped me find myself. Hes lost weneed to find his body and bring it back here!

CHAD(Slaps REESE)

Snap out of it Chess champion! We need your smarts tofigure this out!

REESEWell if we divide the search efforts into three groups,considering the square footage of the school ourpercentange of finding Mr. Bullett increases by16.666666666666666666667 percent.

J-NANYou guys understand that to uncramp the vibes we needto find Mr. Bullett.

8.

CHAD(Begins to weep)

Shes right, hes such a great man who puts on suchgreat classes and everything we do in this class isgone without him, no confidence building games, nowarmups, no fun, we gotta find Bullett, my vibes arealways uncrammed when hes around.

BETHYall, we need get on this search.

REESEYou are correct! We need to split up immediatly!

CHAD(Sucks it up)

Thats right, and Im going to find him. And Im goingto use you! Lets go text book!

CHAD grabs REESE.

BRIDGETWhere are you guys going to search?

CHADThe only place I know, the Gym.

CHAD exits with REESE over his shoulder.

REESENot the gym noooo!

BETH(To BRIDGET)

I guess that leaves me with you baby doll.

BRIDGETAnd I know just where to go.

BETHKnowing yall the only place you want to go is themall.

BRIDGETNo. Its the one place nobody will bother looking foran old bald guy. The music room.

BETHWhy do yall say that?

BRIDGETCause musicians are hawt.

9.

BETHJ-Nan whatll yall be up to?

J-NANMy calling is to stay here and keep the vibes all undercontrol.

BETHWorks for me, lets go Bridget.

BRIDGETCan we stop at Starbs on the way?

BETHHella naw!

BRIDGET and BETH exit the room leaving J-NANbehind who hums to herself while patting on thebongos. Lights go down.

Scene 3

Scene changes to the Gym. CHAD enters with REESEcrying on his shoulder. CHAD places REESE down onthe floor. REESE continues to sob.

REESE(Crying)

Mommy! I want my mommy!

CHADPut a sock in in nerd brain. We need to find our dramateacher.

REESE(Pulling himself together)

May I ask why you are looking for a drama teacher in agymnasium? The arts and sports are polar opposites,theyre the dark side and the light side of the force!

CHADBullett played football when he went here, four eyes.Maybe he came here to relive his sports days.

REESEMr. Bullett participated in such activities on thefootball field though, Chad.

CHAD glares at REESE

REESEI mean.. Mr. Chad.. Mr. Bullett wouldnt be hiding inhere like one of the fart heads on the basketball team.

10.

All of a sudden, B-BALL GOON 1, 2, and 3, step outfrom hiding.

GOON 3Who you calling a fart head?

GOON 1And how did you know we were hiding in here?

REESEUhm... well what I meant was... Derr... Mr. Chad helpme!

CHADHe meant all the people on the basket ball team arefart heads.

GOON 2Fart heads eh?

GOON 3(To GOON 1)

I think these guys are making fools of us boss.

GOON 2We gonna teach them a lesson boss?

GOON 3Yeah lets teach them a lesson!

GOON 1Woah, calm down fellas. Let me handle this.

GOON 1 begins to circle CHAD and REESE. He staresdeeply at CHAD.

GOON 1Ive seen you around school, meat head. Youre namesChad right?

CHADHold up, are you saying you dont know who I am?

GOON 1 gets angry at CHAD

GOON 1Youre names Chad right?

CHADYes.

11.

GOON 1Now listen here, prep boy! I know exactly who you are.I see how you walk around this school, chest buffedout, chin up high like you own the place. I know howyou brought the Bayridge football team back to the top,oh yeah, Ive heard all about it all over theannouncements. And now youve got every student andteacher in the school kissing your ass so you dontdecide to get up and switch schools bringing our deepback to zero, and that makes you think youre super hotstuff or something. Well I see through it, Stud! Now ifyou think you have the authority to walk onto my courtand talk crap about me and my team, you better damnwell have a good reason for it!

REESEKick him in the gluteous maximus, Mr. Chad!

GOON 2Can it you calculator!

GOON 1So... Whats your reason boy?

CHADWere missing our drama teacher.

GOON 1Bullett?

CHADBullett.

GOON 1Whats a power fit geek like you doing in a dramaclass?

CHADPower fit was full actually.

GOON 1Go figure, there are too many of your kind walkingthese halls. So Bulletts missing eh?

REESE(Getting to his feet)

He has made a disapearance between second period andlunch time.

CHADClass cant go on without him. We just want to find outwhere he is.

12.

REESEWould you happen to have an idea or a hint to help uscome to a conclusion?

GOON 1Maybe we do... But its not gonna come at a low cost!

GOON 2Yeah!

CHAD pulls out a large wad of money and startscounting it.

CHADHow much you want?

GOON 1Not money, you Daddys Boy!

GOON 2Yeah, Daddys Boy!

GOON 1We seek a little competition.

CHADYou want to fight or something?

REESEOh geez louize help me!

GOON 1Not a fight. A game of ball.

GOON 3 starts performing impressive basket balldribbles with a basket ball.

GOON 1You think you can play with us, football brain?

REESEDont do it Mr. Chad, its astronomically not worth it,your whole reputation is in danger!

CHADCalm down Reese. How hard can basket ball really be?

REESEHave you ever played before?

CHADNope.

13.

REESEThen according to my calculations, very hard for you,and especially hard for me, math class has made mybones very brittle!

GOON 1Theres no backing down now, nerd brain! Lets ball.

Scene 4

Start music for "Born to B-Ball" (Born To HandJive). The GOONS start yelping in excitement asthey skip around prepping themselves for the game.

REESEMr. Chad I do believe this is a bad idea.

CHADDont worry Reese, doesnt matter what the sport is. Iwas born to play it.

Born To B-Ball

CHAD:

The moment I was born my parents knewExactly what I was born to doWhether it be on field or a tennis courtIm the best around at playing sportsSo Im not worried at allIm probably just as great at basketballREESE:

But Mr. Chad (Spoken)

I can barely dribble a ball aroundIm the worst at sports in this whole darn townIm really just not athleticId rather just do arithmeticI trip over myself when I walk down the hallSo Im really not great at basketball

Basketball playing choreography.

GOONS:

You guys, are going, down.

We were born to B-Ball Baby Born to B-Ball Baby

More Basketball playing choreography. While thischoreography is going on, the dialoug goes on overtop.

14.

GOON 3(Commentating)

And the game is a strong tie between the two. TheBayridge Blazers basket ball team verses the Mr.Bullett Detectivators. Bayridge passes, shoots. Andthey score for three points leaving the detectivatorsin a trail of dust. The Star Wars nerd has the ball, hefumbles! The Blazers pick it up again for another threepoints! The Bayridge Blazers are showing no mercy forthe other team and are absolutly destroying them beingsix points ahead!

Drumming break of the song begins.

CHADReese, listen we gotta get it together

REESEI know, Mr. Chad Im trying my hardest!

CHADJust throw the ball to me whenever you get it we shouldbe fine.

REESEAffirmative!

GOON 3Bayridge has the ball. They pass. Stolen by Reese ofthe detectivators. He dribbles the ball, quiteunconfidently if you ask me. Reese passes to an openChad. Chad spins around Bayridge, he shoots, he scores!Three points for Bayridge!

Music comes in near the end of that ^ speech.

CHADThats it Reese!

REESEJust four more points to victory!

REESE:

Just pass, shoot, and scoreJust pass, shoot, and score

REESE & CHAD

Just pass, shoot, and score Just pass, shoot, and score

Somehow (Through choreography), REESE and CHADscore four more points and win the game. The songfades out.

15.

Scene 5

Out of breath, REESE collapses to the ground. TheGOONS all stand still looking stunned. GOON 1begins to cry.

GOON 1(Crying)

They.. They... They beat us.

GOON 2This doesnt make any sense boss!

GOON 3Were not champions anymore!

GOON 1You guys are nothing but big bullies!

GOON 1 starts to weep like a hungry walrus ontoGOON 2S shoulder.

CHADCalm down guys its only a game.

REESEThere will be others.

GOON 1No there wont. The season ended three weeks ago. Wevebeen hiding here ever since waiting for someone to walkin to play a game with.

CHADYouve been skipping class for three weeks to playbasketball?

REESEI do believe that would be against the rules of theschool.

GOON 2You know us... We were

ALL GOONS(Spoken in rhythm)

Born to B-Ball Baby.

ALL GOONS cry onto each other like baby giraffeswho just lost their little league game.

16.

CHADWell... We still won, so you guys need to tell us yourinfo on Bullett!

REESESpill the beans, as they might say!

GOON 3Boss, get it together.

GOON 1Okay Ill tell you.

GOON 1 points to GOON 2

GOON 1My buddy here went to get a drink from the waterfountain a bit ago. While he was there he over heard ahick and a valley girl talking about him.

GOON 2They were saying something about driving downtown togive Mr. Bullett what he deserves. Sounded like amurder plot to me, but of course I dont know for sure.

GOON 1Anyway, thats all we got. And as the golden rule bookof basketball indicates, you two won the game, so nowyou own this court.

GOON 3Well leave you to it.

ALL GOONS start to exit.

CHADWell wait, you guys gave us what we needed you donthave to leave.

GOON 1Good bye meat head, goodbye nerd brain!

ALL GOONS exit.

CHADOkay goodbye.

REESE, who has been frozen in a stunned positionlike a deer who just got evicted from hisapartment, stands up.

17.

REESEChad...

CHADThats kinda weird how they just dipped like that

REESEChad...

CHADI mean I dont even like basketball that much, I dontwant this court.

REESEChad!!

CHADWhat?

REESEYou clearly heard what they vocalized to us, right?

CHADYeah, they said a hick and a valley girl went downtownto give Bullett what he deserved.

CHAD has a realization

CHADOh shoot... Bridget and Beth went to give Mr. Bullettwhat he deserved!

REESEOur peers went to murder our drama teacher!

CHADReese this is messed up on so many different levels!

REESEWe cannot let them get away with this!

CHAD pulls out his phone.

REESEWhat are you doing?

CHADIm texting Bridget that were onto her and her haystacking friend. Theres no way that white girl andthat country bumpkin is going to hide the murder of ourdrama teacher from us!

18.

REESEWe need to make ourselves mobile and fix this mess!

CHADYoure right. They said theyd check the music room,but thats probably just where theyre hiding the body.Lets go to Mrs. Worthys office and tell her whatshappening.

REESETally-hoe!

CHAD grabs REESE and puts him over his shoulder.REESE screams like a 11 year old boy going throughpuberty on their way out.

Scene 6

BETH and BRIDGET walk into the music room. BETHstorms in like a bear pooped in her morningcherios, and BRIDGET follows behind holding a trayof starbucks coffee in one hand and texting in theother. They walk in in mid conversation.

BRIDGETAnyway, so thats when daddy married my fifth mom, butaccording to him she was also a gold digger, so thatswhen he started dating mommy number 6 and-

BETH cuts BRIDGET off.

BETHEnough!

BRIDGETYou dont want to hear about mommy number six?

BETHI didnt give a darn smack about the first five!Bridget, weve wasted an hour when we couldve beenlookin for Mr. Bullett!

BRIDGETBut we had to get Mr. Bullett what he deserved, duhh!

BETHYall made me drive ya to starbucks so you could buyhim a coffee.

BRIDGETIt is not a coffee! Its a vanilla bean frappuccinowith caramel, and I know that like, if I was lost andthen someone like, found me, the first thing I would

(MORE)

19.

BRIDGET (contd)think about is drinking one of these. Its just what hedeserves, hes probally having a tough time.

BETHBut did we have to spend a half hour window shoppingafter you got it?

BRIDGETHey, mall maniqines are bald, he couldve been hidingwith them!

BETHYou are one pig sniffin load of manure Bridget!

BRIDGETHey dont call me that!... Im fetch.

BRIDGET poses like Brittany Spears at the end ofone of her early 2000s music videos.

BETHJus look for Mr. Bullett kay.

The pair start searching the room.

BRIDGETIf I were a drama teacher, where would I hide?

BETHId be surprised if they let yall teach students

BRIDGETYoure not helping Beth!

BETHIm doing more searching than youre doin. Comon helpme lift this here piano and see if hes down underneaththere.

BRIDGETI cant lift that!

BETHWhy cant ya?

BRIDGETI just got my nails done!

BETHForget it Bridget! Mr. Bullett isnt in this roomanyway! Lets get outta here!

20.

BETH starts storming for the open door but all ofa sudden it swings closed to reveil EMCEE COURT onthe other side of it. BETH jumps back intoBRIDGETS arms out of fear.

EMCEE COURTYo! Emcee court in da hizzhouse!

BETHMr. McCourt?

BRIDGETEw! An old bald guy! I thought this was a music room?

EMCEE COURTYou all know it is! And you all know who I is, ImEmcee Court ready to bust a rhyme, all the time, Imfrikky frikky fresh!

BETHMr. McCourt, what happened to yall?

EMCEE COURTIm uhh... Uhh...

EMCEE COURT takes off his rapper persona costume.

EMCEE COURTWell, this is what I do during my planning period.

BRIDGETYou act like a rapper?

EMCEE COURTI act like a rapper.

BETHWhy do yall do that?

EMCEE COURTWell... Ever since I was a boy Ive always felt as ifsomething was missing from my life. So I startedlearning to play instruments, hoping to fill in thatgap in my happiness. I learned just about everyinstrument I could think of, but still I felt empty. Imet my wife and got married. Still nothing. I had myfirst child, which filled that gap a little bit, but Itwasnt enough, so then I had a second, and I was stillfeeling empty inside.

BRIDGETSo dressing up like a rapper in your free time fillsthat gap?

21.

EMCEE COURTWell you see little one... Ive spent all this timesearching for that one thing to fill that gap in mylife. And the whole time Ive been teaching music hereat Bayridge, that thing was just a few doors down fromme and I didnt even know it.

BRIDGETThe girls bathroom?

EMCEE COURTClose. The drama room.

BETHYall want to act Mr. McCourt?

EMCEE COURTIts that one thing Ive been searching for. But alas,Im known as the music teacher here, so I spend myplanning periods creating and playing differentcharaters just to fill that hole.

BRIDGETThats so like... Touching.

EMCEE COURTI long to be anybody who is able to perform, yet I hatethem so!

BETHWait a darn tootin minute! Mr. McCourt, youre ateacher! You should have a general idea of where Mr.Bullett is right?

EMCEE COURTOf Course. After finding out this true passion of mineIve studied Mr. Bullett more closly than probablynecessary just so I could be more like him.

BRIDGETSo you can help us find our drama teacher than!?

EMCEE COURTYou mean to say you two are drama students?

BETHYou bet your butter nuggets! And our class cant go onwith Mr. Bullett missing and all!

EMCEE COURT steps away from the two.

22.

EMCEE COURTWell... Maybe I dont want it to go on.

BRIDGETWhy?

EMCEE COURTYou two are able to do what I am not. Act. But withoutMr. Bullett your class cannot go on, and you can seehow it feels to have that emptiness inside just like Ido.

BETHOh haystacks!

EMCEE COURTIf you want information on Mr. Bullett, you two aregoing to have to pay.

BRIDGET reaches into her purse and pulls out a fatstack of cash and begins counting it.

BRIDGETHow much do you want?

EMCEE COURTNot money you fool! Theres one thing you need to do toget information out of me. You suckers need to proveyourselves, musically.

Scene 7

Start music for "Where did Bullett Go" (Stick toThe Status Quo).

BRIDGET(Spoken)

Prove ourselves musically?

EMCEE COURT(Spoken)

Yes! I am a music teacher and all.

EMCEE COURT

I look at youand what do I seeDrama freaks beyond compareAnd at that youre not suckingbut I bet you got nothingWhen it comes to singing tunesor banging a snare

Gather in kids, heres the thing

23.

EMCEE COURT(Spoken)

If you two think youre a real triple threat, then whydont you try to prove that to me

GIRLS(Spoken)

How?

EMCEE COURT(Spoken)

Sing a song you drama freaks!

GIRLS

But we cant even sing

EMCEE COURT(Spoken)

You have to prove yourselves musically!

EMCEE COURT

Oh Oh Oh Oh!(Oh Oh Oh)Ive got the infoIf you wanna go onYou must sing me a songAnd then Ill let you knowWhere did bullett Go?

BETH

Look at meand what do yall seeA girl that is quite a hickBut I aint got no voiceI cant sing theres no choiceThe thought of doing itsMaking me sick

Bridget wont you listen to me

BETH(Spoken)

You gotta take this one for the team Bridget, mysinging voice sounds like a cow giving birth.

BRIDGET(Spoken)

Is it really that bad?

EMCEE COURT

24.

Whats it gonna be?

BETH(Spoken)

It is, please do this for me.

BETH

No, No, No, No(No, No, No)I cant sing oh noI think Ill back offCause I got a bad coughSo Bridgets gonna goShell get the info!

Bridget

Mister McCourtI really supportYour decision to get up and actBut our teacher is goneTheres no time for a songAnd we need to bring Bullett back

So please tell us where did he go?

EMCEE COURT(Spoken)

I asked for a song, Im gonna get a song.

BRIDGET(spoken)

But Mr. McCourt we really both dont know how to sing.

EMCEE COURT(Spoken)

If I can act, so you should play my game and sing. Onceyou do...

EMCEE COURT

Youll get your info

BRIDGET(Spoken)

Does it have to sound good?

EMCEE COURT(Spoken)

Just sing.

BRIDGET

25.

So now we know(Now we know)Its easy Beth lets goWe can help Reese and ChadCause we get to sound badAnd then were gonna knowWhere did bullett go?

BETH AND BRIDGET

So, so, soMister McCourt lets goWe can sing you a songAnd then you cant prolongOn letting us both knowWhere did bullett go

The Song abruptly ends on the triplet.

Scene 8

EMCEE COURTSo... Sing then.

The GIRLS prepare themselves.

BRIDGETA one, a two, a one two three four..

THE GIRLS begin to sing the SpongeBob Square Pantstheme song. They sing it terribly.

BRIDGET

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

BETH

SpongeBob SquarePants!

BRIDGET

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he?

BETH

SpongeBob SquarePants!

EMCEE COURT cuts the two off.

EMCEE COURTOkay Stop! I get it! Youre gonna make my ears bleed!

26.

BRIDGETWas that good enough?

EMCEE COURTNo, and I think your rendition of my favorite themesong has scarred me for life. Get out of my music room,let me act in peace!

BRIDGETYoure not gonna tell us where Mr. Bullett is?

EMCEE COURTNot after that atrosity!

BETHWell Mr. McCourt, we can sing some more if you want?

EMCEE COURTYou wouldnt.

BETH and BRIDGET both look at each other and beginto sing again.

BETH AND BRIDGET

SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBobSquarePants!

EMCEE COURT cuts them off again.

EMCEE COURTPlease stop! Have mercy! Ill tell you what I know!

BETHYall will?

EMCEE COURTYes, just promise to never sing like that again!

BRIDGETWe promise! What do you know?

EMCEE COURTWell, I was in the office getting some papersphotocopied before you two came in here. And theresitting in Mrs. Worthys office was a Nerd and a Jock.

BRIDGETThats Reese and Chad!

BETHWhat were they talking about?

27.

EMCEE COURTI didnt hear it too clearly, but Mrs. Worthy wassaying something about Mr. Bullett being murdered andhow the cops are gonna be called and a whole bunch ofwierd stuff like that.

BETHHoly hay stacks...

EMCEE COURTThats all I know. Sounded like those two boys weregetting in trouble for murdering Mr. Bullett if you askme. Or they know something about it and they weretelling Mrs. Worthy who really did it.

BRIDGETOh Em Gee.

BETHHow could those darn tooters murder him and thenpretend round us like they did nothin

BRIDGETIts a mystery, but at least theyre getting in troublefor it.

There is a ringing from BRIDGETS phone, she takesit out to check it.

BETHBridget, there aint no time to text blake right now!

BRIDGETThis isnt Blake, Beth. Although I wish it was...

BETHWhy who is it?

BRIDGETIts a text from Chad. He says "Were on to you andyoure hay stacking friend, Winkie face". Did theyblame it on us?

BETHThose cow tippers!

BRIDGETBeth, the cops are coming to get us for a murder thatReese and Chad commited, what do we do?

Suddenly a voice is heard over the announcements.

28.

ANNOUNCEMENT(O.S.)

Sorry for the interuption, Could Beth and Bridgetplease come down to the office please, I repeat couldBeth and Bridget please come down to the office pleasefor a very important message.

BETHIll tell yall just what were gonna do.

BRIDGETWhats that?

BETHWere gonna march right on up to those two accusers andset them straight! Aint nobody blaming me for a murderI didnt commit!

BRIDGETYeah, lets set them straight!

BETHMurder my drama teacher and then blame me for it, thosecow tippers deserved to be murdered themselves! Letsgo!

BRIDGETIm gonna pour my hot starbucks on them!

The GIRLS exit the music room.

EMCEE COURTYou know I feel like I should stop them, but that wouldtake away from my precious acting time.

EMCEE COURT puts back on his rapper persona andsings an a cappella reprise of "Where did Bullettgo"s chorus.

EMCEE COURT

Yo, Yo, Yo!Its Emcee Court yo!You heard what they saidMr. Bullett is deadHe got killed by a couple of brosIts making me say woah!

EMCEE COURT exits the room.

29.

Scene 9

Open back to the Drama room where J-NAN is doing avariety of meditation posses and talking aimlesslyto herself.

J-NANHummmmmmm, Hummmmmmmm.... My spiritual aura is tellingme that the vibes are cramping up even more thanbefore. The girls being called down to the office canonly mean one thing. My inner mind is telling me thatthe two split up teams have turned on one another. Theyboth think the other got rid of Bullett. But, theBullett vibes. I can feel them. Ive tapped into myinner soul, the heart of the school. I can feel hispresence. Theres only one way to find the Bullett andput my vibe train back on track. To find the Bullettand bring peace back between my friends, I must do onething, I must sing my spirit song.

Music for "One Man" (One Love) Starts

J-NAN

Bruh (Spoken)

One man,one classLets work togetherand find Bullett

Hear the students cryingHear my vibes are dyingSayin lets pull together drama classand we will find BullettSayin lets work togetherand we will find Bullett

Oh whoa, whoa, whoa

Things seemed so hopless in the startBut differences aside we all love him from the heartThis man had the strength to yell at all us grade schoolersWho has, despite all of us, managed to keep some of his hair

One manOne classLets work togetherand we will find Bullett

As it was in the beginningSo shall it be in the end

30.

Sayin lets pull together drama classand we can find BullettSayin lets work togetherand we will find Bullett

If we all blame then we will lose the one we all loveIf we just open our eyes we will find him very soonForget all the hate we have developed for eachotherdifferences aside we all love the same bruddah

Sayin One manOne classLets work togetherand we will find Bullett

Im pleading to my peerscant you see my tears?

Sayin lets pull together drama classand we can find BullettSayin lets work togetherand we will find Bullett

At the end of the song J-NAN looks directly outinto the audience. She breaks the fourth wall andnotices the crowd of people, and notices MR.BULLETT in the crowd.

J-NANWait a minute, there are people here watching me. Imon a stage? My spirit song, it worked! Im outside thefourth wall! Mr. Bullett? Mr. Bullett youre here,youre alive! The vibe trains back on track! Now I cantell all my friends youre back and drama class can goon and theyll all stop blaming each other! Ive solvedthe mystery, Score one for J-Nan!

Off stage CHAD is heard yelling, REESE is heardcrying.

CHAD(O.S.)

J-Nan!

J-NANChad! Chad Ive solved the mystery!

CHAD enters with REESE over his shoulder, he putsREESE down on the floor.

CHADWe have too, and that stinking farm girl and herstarbucks consuming white girl friend arent going to

(MORE)

31.

CHAD (contd)get away with this, the cops are waiting in the officeto arrest their asses right now.

REESETheyre going to wither away in a cell as they deserve!

J-NANBut no Chad you dont see-

CHADSee what? That our drama teacher is dead, I dont wantto see that!

REESEThat would be inexplicably disgusting!

J-NANNo just listen, you just need to sing your spirit song,break the fourth wall Chad!

CHADJ-Nan stop hitting me with that hippy stuff Im notinto that.

REESEJ-Nan, have you been smoking the Kush Kush as theycall it?

J-NANNo Reese, if you break the fourth wall youll see andthe vibes will uncramp.

J-Nan despretly tries to get REESE and CHAD tobreak the fourth wall by pointing to the audienceand pushing them towards the end of the stage. Shefails miserably.

CHADThe vibes are still cramped, two of our ex friends aremurderers!

BETH and BRIDGET suddenly walk in.

BETHWho are yall callin a murderer, you murderer.

REESEYou two should be in the office!

BRIDGETWere not giving up that easy, nerd breath!

32.

BETHFirst yall kill our drama teacher, and then yall tryand blame it on us behind our back?

REESEIt is you who killed the teacher!

BETHOh no honey, I aint taking none of that lying horsecrap today!

CHADListen you two, theres no use hiding it. We heard whatyou did, and the cops are waiting for you!

BRIDGETListen Chad, my Daddys lawyers are too expensive tolose a case against you.

BETHWe aint goin to jail for something you did.

REESEIt was Chad and I who were trying to find Bullett, youtwo were the ones who got rid of him!

J-NANGuys...

BRIDGETOh sure! Searching in the gym, really? I bet you twowere just using the weight room to hide the body!

BETH(To Chad)

Is this your sick way of getting out of this class youpower fit fanatic?

REESEDont you dare accuse my friend Mr. Chad like that!

J-NANGuys...

BETHShut it four eyes or Ill bust you in for one!

CHADYou cant hit a kid with glasses, hay bale.

BRIDGETBut we could always pour hot starbucks on him!

33.

J-NANGuys...

BETHYeah give him what he deserves!

CHADJust like how you gave Bullett what he deserves?

BRIDGETDont you dare talk about the man like that!

J-NAN(shouting loudly)

Guys!!!

As the fight is about to break out J-NAN halts thetwo parties into a silence.

J-NANWhen Mr. Bullett sees you doing this hes going to getmad at you.

REESEWhat do you mean by "When"? Hes gone, they murderedhim!

BETHYall murdered him!

J-NANNo!

ALL(Except J-NAN)

No?

J-NANNo... I have connected with my inner vibes and theauras of above have allowed me to break the fourthwall. Although he may appear gone to you all, Mr.Bullett is still here with us, I have connected withhim.

CHADYouve what?

BRIDGETJ-Nan, have you been smoking pot before class again?

J-NANNo Bridget, you can stop the fighting, neither of youmurdered Mr. Bullett. Hes here, hes watching over usall.

34.

BETHYall sayin what I think yaller sayin?

CHADBut If neither of us killed him, and J-Nans the onlyother one...

REESEI believe J-Nan is the only other culpret!

J-NANWait no...

BRIDGETJ-Nan! You cant go around murdering drama teachers!

BETHYall er messed up in the head J-Nan

CHADI always knew this hippy would be the reason to ruinthis class for me.

J-NANYou guys, thats not how the vibes roll.

J-NAN begins to back away.

REESEYou are the one who has misrolled the vibes!

CHAD(Begins to cry out of anger)

You deserve to pay for what youve done!

J-NANIm a hippy I dont have any money!

BETHOh were not looking for money, honey. After takingaway the teacher we love most, theres only one thingwere gonna take from you.

J-NANMy bongos?

BRIDGETYour life!

J-NANGive mercy!

35.

THE TEAM (Excluding J-NAN) attack J-NAN who dropsto the floor. Threats are heard from THE TEAM asthey bash and hit a screaming J-NAN. Verysuddenly, in the midst of all the banging andscreaming, there is an abrupt silence.

Scene 10

THE TEAM gets up and begins to back away from ashredded and mangled J-NAN who lies lifeless onthe ground. REESE kneels beside J-NAN in despair.

REESEWeve... Weve killed her.

BETHShe deserved it.

REESEBeth, weve killed J-Nan, a living breathing humanbeing and weve just ended her life!

CHADCalm down, Reese. We... Well we can hide the body,noone will know.

REESEMr. Bullett will know, and he will be nothing butpissed at the blood stains on his carpet.

BRIDGETReese, we killed her because she killed Mr. Bullett.

REESEBut J-Nan said he was here watching us!

BETHWell even if he is, he cant be able to do much boutit. Hes dead Reese, and now weve gots a new problemon our hands.

CHADIll go grab a mop and a bucket from the custodiansoffice.

BRIDGETGood plan.

BETHBridget, I dont care about your manicure, come help mepick up this body and find somewhere to hide it.

36.

BRIDGETEw, but okay.

BRIDGET and BETH begin to pick up the body. CHADbegins to exit down the aisle of the audience, butis stopped dead in his tracks when he notices MR.BULLETT sitting there.

CHADGuys...

All the characters look to CHAD and then noticeMR. BULLETT. BULLETT begins to rise out of hischair slowly, and with a stern look on his face heguesters and points off stage.

MR. BULLETT(Slowly)

Get out. Of my class.

THE TEAM slowly, with their heads down, pick upJ-NANS lifeless body and walks out.

Close curtains.