Phoebe Defined... I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a deacon in the church in Cenchrea. Welcome her in the Lord as one who is worthy of honor among God’s people. Help her in whatever she needs, for she has been helpful to many, and especially to me. (Romans 16:1, 2 NLT)

So what's this Phoebe thing all about? Phoebe was a noted female working along side the Apostle Paul. She proved to be trustworthy and instrumental in the early church. The early church suffered persecution at the hand of the Jewish people and Roman rule. Under harsh conditions Phoebe managed with others to do God's work; helping to save souls and take the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a lost world. Just like Phoebe of the early church, this Phoebe dares to bring the unadulterated gospel truth to all readers, with emphasis on women of all shades, types, ethnicities, social-economic, secular and non-secular backgrounds. This quarterly newsletter will prompt the reader to think introspectively and act externally. Topics of interest will include: world views, women's health, marriage and relationships, spirituality and the like.

The hard truth is that daily people are dying because of poor living conditions, being sold in the sex trade, ending marriage prematurely and suffering from mental illness. That list could go on, but we must breathe, and take every moment into consideration. We must be intentional with every step we take. We must be walking talking hope givers to the lost and this newsletter intends to equip you with tools to do that. We intend to keep Phoebe's legacy alive and remain relevant in a time where authenticity and reality rarely meet........and Purposeful Design for Women, which is dedicated to the topic discussed in this article, to be released in the fall 2014.

Phoebe Defined...... page1

Forgiveness is…”Unbroken”page 4

ThePhoebe August 2015 Issue 3

M.R.Ipage 2

A letter to the Mad, Angry Wifepage 3

"I want my life to be a novel that

when the book is read, the

reader has one more thought of

Christ than they did before..."

Rhonda C. White

SuggestedReading:

“Forgiveness, Releasing the Power of Grace,” is

such a small, yet powerful work. It speaks to the one who is having a hard time

accepting God’s forgiveness for himself as

well as letting go of the offenses of others. Frank

Damazio is clear and concise with his message of the power of letting go.

M.R.IManaging (Your) Real Inner-Self

So, as a result of my shoulder injury last month I had to endure my first diagnostic magnetic resonance imaging procedure, A.K.A MRI. I’m not a squeamish person and while I have prepped and discussed this process with many of my own patients, it wasn't until I went “in” myself that I understood the shear fear and panic that many people suffer from because of it. The psychological torture that this small chamber produces is insurmountable and I literally forgot who I was

and more importantly whose I was! No wonder people take a “happy pill” before they go in! I was able to proceed after a consultation with the technician and a towel over my face! I calmed enough to remind myself that I was a child of God and not a child of a wimp! I prayed silently and meditated on every scripture that I’d memorized since 1st grade. I thought I’d made it through, but panic decided to revisit me one more time before the procedure was over. Again, I made it through

reminding myself of the promises that I knew where true. This is a reason that God tells us to hide His word in our hearts; its because when we need it and no preacher, or Bible or music is available, you can shut out the world and turn Him on. There is nothing like experiencing something for yourself and I am convinced that M.R.I now stands for Managing (your) Real Inner-Self….The decision is left up to you…..will you do it?

Hey Sistah, I know you are pissed at the moment and you sho' nuff should be! He has up and done it again! After he vowed, he cried, lied and laid to the side promising you that he would never do it again! You have every right to be angry, mad, frustrated and at the end of your rope. I know you made a promise to yourself that if he did it again, if he betrayed you, deceived you, misled you or in some kind of way mishandled you, you were done! You’ve cried long enough, yelled and screamed long enough and yes you deserve some peace! After all you have put up with his mess long enough. You don’t deserve this! You have given him your best years, your child bearing years! You’ve sacrificed emotionally, physically and financially to make this thing called marriage work and this time, this is it! It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The knot that came undone. He has lost his mind if he thinks he can do you again! No, not again…. I know you are tired and weary and you feel like a knife has been driven towards the back of your heart and carvings have been made there just for fun. Crying doesn’t help because it only makes you feel worse. It makes you feel weak, less than and miserable. You have lost all hope that God will touch this matter with a ten foot pole. You feel isolated, alone, afraid, abandoned and rejected. Sometimes you wish the damage was even more severe so you could justify to yourself, God and others why enough is enough! Well, my friend, I’ve been there…..at the crossroads of do I stay or do I go; standing at the intersection of “I Cant Trust Him Anymore” avenue and “What Are My Kids Going to Think If I Leave” road. Your heart pounds harder, your breath is rapid and the emotional roller coaster you are on never frees you from its grips. You feel helpless, powerless and choice-less. But, oh my dear, you do have a choice. You have a choice to follow your feelings towards an emotional separation and or physical divorce. You can end it, walk away and not look back. It however, will be the temporary relief that you are seeking, but it will NOT heal the soul. It will remove the pressure, stop the bleeding like a tourniquet, but it will NOT restore the brokenness caused by deception, betrayal and disloyalty. Those cuts are deep and no amount of un-forgiveness, revenge or resentment you muster up will keep you from feeling the loss of your marriage. I know you are upset, but THINK before you leap! Before you make ultimatums and set out to manipulate him into chasing you down until you decide to give in. Letting go of the pain, letting go of the offense does not excuse his behavior, but it frees your heart so that you can see clearly how and why God has allowed you to be in this situation again. Letting go of unmet expectations is for you, not Him. Your forgiveness of his offense, is for you not him. And until you grasp the concept of letting go of the hope that the past could be different coupled with the responsibility of giving up the right to hurt someone because they hurt you; you will continue to bump into the same devastation you are experiencing right now. It will come up again, you can deal with it now or later. Its not about your spouse, its about you! Its about letting go of the need to trust your husband, more than you trust God to manage your husband. So my sistah, the choice really is yours. Do you give up now? Let all those prayers you’ve prayed for him go to waste or even worse let them manifest in someone else’s life? The ones you prayed about him becoming all that God intended, walking upright and Godly in all he does. Yes, its a hard decision and only you and God can make it, but I encourage you to hang in there a little while longer. Listen to what your faith is saying instead of what your feelings are saying. Make a decision to stand for the promise you made at the altar, even if he hasn’t, won’t or is incapable of doing so right now. God honors persistency and He has not forgotten you. He honors the faithful and rewards the one who endures long-suffering. He will restore your soul, He will replenish your joy. You can make it through, one breath, one sigh and one prayer at a time. Can’t wait to see your mess turn into your message! All my love, A Wife Who Stayed (This message is intended for the wife who is NOT being physically abused. If you are being physically hurt, seek safety and help immediately)

A letter to the Mad Angry Wife….

Rhonda C. White is the independently published author of the novel, Joshua’s Coming, (amazon.com) an inspirational story of a couple’s struggle with infertility and wounds from the past. This story is loosely based on the author’s life. She is currently working on a book entitled, “The Daddy Void, Discovering the Creative and Purposeful Design for Woman and another entitled, “How to Change Your Husband in 30 Days.” She is a devoted wife of 17 years and mother of a remarkable 8-year old daughter. She serves at Christian Life Center in Tinley Park, Illinois in the Children’s, Married Couples and Counseling Ministries. She works as an adjunct professor at Morton College and is a school district Physical Therapist. Contact the author for engagements at: rhondaw897@comcast.net.

FORGIVENESS IS….

The “Great Zamperini” is a picture perfect example of

what God means when He says forgive. The movie and book, “Unbroken,”

share with us a man who could have easily lived the rest of his life

hating the world and all those in it. Louis Zamperini’s family

immigrated to the States from Italy when he was a young boy. Because of

the difficulty associated with the Great Depression

and being ostracized because of his accent and nationality, Louis quickly

turned to a life of drinking, smoking and swindling to ease his boyhood pangs. His brother, a stellar character,got Louis

interested in running and he eventually became one of the youngest athletes in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. Louis never got to return to subsequent Olympic games because he was drafted as an airman

into the war where he was shot down, lost at sea and eventually became a war prisoner in some of the worse conditions. Louie faced death many times,

but he survived and eventually returned to the

States. He’d made a promise to God while

imprisoned to follow Him if He got him out of the war safely. Louie took his vow seriously and

shortly after his return from war began serving God through serving wayward young boys. He lived a life of forgiveness and even travelled back to Japan to his captors to let them know he forgave

them. His life was a true testament of how forgiveness is

transforming. He touched many lives through his ability to let go. You

can't be all that you can be holding onto un-

forgiveness. Learn from Zamperini and just, “Let

It Go!”