The Power of NO!

You Cannot say Yes to Everyone and Everything7 Things to Say “No” to Today

PCBNPacific Coast Business Networking

November 12, 2014

Overwhelmed!!!

• People can become so overwhelmed with multiple demands on their time that they can't get started on anything, much less those tasks that they need to get through somehow.

• You've got to get stuff done at work & at home.

The Problem with “Yes” • How many times have you heard

yourself saying Yes to the wrong things?

• Overwhelming Requests• Time-Consuming Obligations• Immediate pleasures at the expense of

long term success (dessert vs exercise)

A Well-Placed “NO”

• A well placed “No” can not only save you Time and Trouble – It can save your life by reducing STRESS.

• Saying “Yes” too often can can cause anguish, desperation, and anxiety.

The Right to Say “No”• You have the right to say “No”

- To anything that is hurting you. - To non-priority items - To standards that no longer serve you. - To people who drain you of your creativity. - To people who drain you of your time.

7 Things to Say “No” To#1 Say “No” to Social Pressure

• We were taught to be polite, to be nice, and to say yes at all the wrong moments.

• This leads us to be pressured by colleagues, bosses, friends and family to attend to their needs.

7 Things to Say “No” To#2 Say “No” to Negative Chatter

• Sometimes we get stuck in negative chatter that becomes a running commentary on our lives like the news programs that only tells us the bad news that happens all day long.- How could he/ she do this to me?- Why does that person always look like an idiot?- Do I look unattractive?- Why don’t you pay more attention to me?- Did you hear about the terrible thing that happened?

7 Things to Say “No” To#3 Say “No” to people you know

are not good for you

• You will never find your own creative talent by saying “Yes” to all the people: - who seek to drain you with relationships that go nowhere. - people who try to control you, - people who put you down- People who cheat or lie to you

- Clients who abuse your time

7 Things to Say “No” To#4 Say “No” to Being a Slave

• Do what you Love. Control your life.• How can you have the life of your dreams

by constantly sacrificing your dreams for those of others?

7 Things to Say “No” To#5 Say “No” to Sudden Negative Thought Attacks

• We can’t undue the past – the future hasn’t happened yetMost of the things we worry about – never

happenFocus on the present and be fully alive.

7 Things to Say “No” To#6 Say “No” to things that are not directly relevant to

critical tasks at hand.

• Sometimes that means say “No” to people who were looking to informally network, casual friends who wanted to catch up over coffee or any other requests on you time.

7 Things to Say “No” To#7 Say “No” to Unhealthy

Choices• Prioritize the important things in life

Health – exercise & diet Emotional connectionsMental focusSpiritual alignment

Here's How To Say “No”

• Just say, “I’m sorry. I can't do this right now.”

• Use a sympathetic, but firm tone. If pressured as to why, reply that it doesn’t fit with your schedule, and change the subject.

Here's How To Say “No”

• “Let me think about it and get back to you.”

• If you’re uncomfortable being so firm, or are dealing with pushy people, it’s OK to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule, as well as your feelings about saying "yes" to another commitment.

Here's How To Say “No”• “I can’t do this, but I can…” • If you would really like to do what they’re

requesting, but don’t have the time it’s fine to say, “I can’t do this, but I can…” and mention a lesser commitment that you can make.

Tips

• Be firm -- not defensive or overly apologetic -- and polite. This gives the signal that you are sympathetic, but will not easily change your mind if pressured.

Tips

• If asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one. “It doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is perfectly acceptable.

Tips

• Remember that there are only so many hours in the day. This means that whatever you choose to take on- limits your ability to do other things.