By Robert E. Donnelly III ’15Editor in Chief

Welcome back, Priory students! Summer is over and the new school year is already off to a fast start. With every new year, there are new challenges and adventures. For the new seventh graders, it’s a n e w s c h o o l a n d n e w classmates. For freshmen, it’s a new building and high school course work. Finally, for the seniors, it’s the beginning of the end, as the final year of Priory and the eventuality of college loom in the distance. There are also a number of new changes for the school as a whole, including new faculty, and namely a new Headmaster. While Fr. Gregory may be a new Headmaster to us, this is far from his first lap around the course. During his previous tenure (1995-2005) Fr. Gregory put together an impressive display of leadership, fostering a spirit of Benedictine fraternity and moving the school forward in both academics, athletics, and the fine arts. I sat down with Fr. Gregory to ask him a few questions about reprising his role as Headmaster.

The Record: I think the first question of everyone’s mind is why? It seems like just yesterday we were hearing that Fr. Linus was taking the helm. Why the sudden switch?

Fr. Gregory O.S.B.: Well, all I can tell you is the reason that was given in the letter that Abbott Thomas sent out to everyone over the summer. That’s the reason that he stated.

TR: So what is Fr. Linus doing these days?

FG: Fr. Linus is currently on sabbatical, which means that he’s going to spend this year studying theology at

the Dominican college in R o m e , i t ’ s c a l l e d t h e Angelicum. It happens to also be where Fr. Cassian studies, and they may even take a course or two together. He’ll be in Rome for this year, and my expectation is that he will return at the end of the year and wou ld t hen r e sume teaching next academic year.

TR: How does it feel to be back? Furthermore, what has

changed about Priory since you were last Headmaster?

FG: It was a bit of a surprise to be back, but I feel that I’m getting used to it now. I think the two things that have changed most is it’s a bigger school and it’s a little bit more complex a school. Technology has a much bigger role to play now than it did 20 years ago when I first came on as Headmaster. The layers of

a d m i n i s t r a t i o n a n d organization that keep the school running are more complex than they were back in those days. I liken it to 20 years ago it was more like a family business, but now it has a bit more of a c o r p o r a t e feeling.

TR: Most Headmasters have had fairly lengthy terms, your previous one being the longest since Fr. Timothy. Is

this another long term or just a transitional phase?

FG: What I can tell you is that Abbott Thomas has made it clear that this is not an interim a p p o i n t m e n t . Although we don’t have any defined length of time for the term of a Headmaster, I am fully invested with the job for the indefinite future.

TR: Being as you are the first repeat Headmaster that Priory has ever had, you have a unique perspective of the s c h o o l . I s t h e r e anything that you may have wanted to do in your last term that you can now accomplish in this one?

FG: [After a long pause] That’s a good quest ion! [another pause] What comes to m y m i n d i s n o t necessarily that there’s something that I didn’t accomplish then that I could accomplish now, because it’s hard to predict the future and

what lies ahead for us as a school. But, I think that what was most on my mind then is still most on my mind now, which is that the core values associated with the mission of the school are preserved and nurtured. Those values are really spiritual, they’re about who we are as a community of faith, and how that manifests itslelf in the way that we treat

continued on back page

2 NEWSInterview with the Old/New Headmaster

Check us out on Twitter!

By Grant Dow ’15

First of all, welcome to Priory! You may not know the other kids in your class very well for the first few weeks, but over the nest few years, you’re going to know everyone in the Class of 2020. Everyone is both a student and an athlete, so you’re going to find yourself being pushed physically and mentally. If you ever need help with homework or just need advice, ask one of your high school tutors. Once upon a time they were 7th Graders, too!

M a t h - I f y o u d o n ’ t understand something, come to school early and talk to Mr. Huels or Mrs. Reichle. They are available almost every morning. Mrs. Reichle is in room 314 and Mr. Huels usually hangs out around the

high school homework boxes, or in front of the teachers lounge. Don’t wait until the day of the test to ask questions.

Latin- There are two parts to Latin, vocabulary and grammar. Break large vocab sections into smaller pieces, and spread out the studying over several nights. Don’t bite off more than you can chew, and don’t try to learn it all the night before. If you don’t understand something, or just want to clarify, don’t be afraid to ask. The best Latin students do their homework AT HOME. You should at least attempt to do your homework before coming to school and asking someone else questions.

English- In order to succeed in English, you have to actually read the book. It may seem obvious, but you’d be

surprised at the amount of peop le who don’t r ead . Sparknotes might help you get through a class or two but when it comes time to write a paper, you’ll be lost. If you’re given a chance to revise your paper, do it.

Science – Turn in those labs!

Theology – If you write down the notes on the board, and listen to what the teacher has to say, you’ll be fine. Make sure your notes are legible and organized.

History - Again, read the b o o k . W r i t e d o w n t h e definitions of the highlighted words. They should be in the margin of the book or in the glossary. Take good notes.

Good luck and have a great year year!

3 NEWSAdvice For Seventh Graders The Record

By Parker Dow ’15

Open to all high school students, the SLPS Auto Club enters its inaugural year. Moderated by Dr. Kilcullen, the SLPS Auto Club serves as a way for car enthusiasts to meet up, work together, and enjoy car related events. The club will not be limited to any subgroup within the subject

matter of cars, but will be all-inclusive. In addition to being a place for Priory car enthusiasts to meet, the SLPS Auto Club will also work to expand knowledge of its members in car related fields. Our first event will be Cars and Coffee on Saturday, September 20th. More cars than coffee, this local auto show is a unique blend of cars ranging from

new tuners to old muscle cars, with just about every brand r e p r e s e n t e d . F e r r a r i , Lamborghini, Alfa Romeo, Fiat, BMW, Porsche, Nissan, you name it. The past shows have attracted over 150 cars. Anyone interested in joining should talk to Matt Kinnison, Joseph Fitz, Parker Dow, or George Hamilton.

A New Club for Priory Students

VOLUME XLVISSUE 1

AUGUST 25, 2014Editor in Chief

Robert E. Donnelly III ’15

Layout EditorThomas Rosebrough ’15

Content EditorsAlexander Hill ’15Stephen Millsap ’15

Patrick Lane ’15Robert Erbs III ’15

Faculty ModeratorMichael Ware

Contacttheprioryrecord@gmail.com

314-434-3690 ext. 221

The Record DisclaimerThe Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff mem- bers. Its purpose is to inform stu- dents of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photogra- phers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contr ibutions from all members of the Priory commu- nity, including students, faculty, and alumni.The Record will not publish content considered legally unpro- tected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringe- ment, unwarranted invasion of pri- vacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all con- tent, both explicit and implicit. Let- ters to the Editors are always ap- preciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

@therecordweekly

4 PERIODICALSaint Louis SomebodiesScience,

Periodically

By Ramzi Haddad ’16

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, and I’m feeling... okay. Welcome back to school boys! It has been a long summer that flew by, but now it’s back to reality. The tans will slowly f a d e , b u t w h o d o e s n ’ t absolutely love to be pale?

As we start anew, it’s time t o g e t s t a r t e d o n f i r s t impressions. Everyone knows about the kid that brings an

apple for their teacher. Well let’s change it up ladies. I want to see pineapples and coconuts for the staff. Because a fresh pineapple is going to get you an A, and that’s a fact.

A n o t h e r g r e a t f i r s t impress ion for you new freshman is to never stop talking in class. The teachers LOVE IT. There is nothing better than a student that never ceases talking for 45 straight minutes. They also really

appreciate immature, freshman humor. If someone farts, make a big deal out of it because farts are funny. The one thing that teachers hate to get questions about is the syllabus, because most of the time, they just found one online and will not even follow the one they have given you, so if they are handing them out, just decline to take one.

Good luck at school!

Michael Blogs: Back to School

After ten long years of drifting and a few deep-space manuevers , the Rosetta spacecraft launched by NASA and ESA in 2004 has finally aproached its t a r g e t , c o m e t 6 7 P /Churyumov–Gerasimenko. For those of you who don’t follow international space studies, Rosetta was the spacecraft that broke the record for most harpoons in space at the same time, w i t h a s t a g g e r i n g 2 harpoons. The craft is going to launch the harpoons at 67P/C-G and in November of this year it will become the first misson by NASA or ESA to orbit and land on a comet. It will then spend thirteen months riding the comet in a Kerbal Space Program-esque orbit around the sun, studying the comet’s core, before it detaches and becomes another sad piece of space junk.

By Connor Wright ’16

“I don't speak Turkish, and she doesn't speak English.

But we make it work.""How do you make it work?"

"Laughter."

"No, I don't have any regrets. Because if I had any regrets, then that means I wish I could change something that's happened in my life.  I'm afraid that if anything happened differently, I might be in a different place right now.  I just don't know what place that would be.""What are you scared it would be?""I'm scared that I wouldn't be living and breathing. I'm scared I'd be dead like so many people I loved.  Growing up on the streets is hard.  But these right here are my boys. They keep me alive."

Want to write for the Record?

By Fr. Ralph Wright O.S.B.

FLUNK INTRODUCTION FOR NEWREADERS:

Flunk the Flying Monk and Deaconness Gloria Dorne have been gracing the Record’s pages for over 25 years. They t e n d t o o rg a n i z e w o r l d congresses on global problems like peace, desalinated water, jungle ethanol and similar topics. Flunk likes to call them Triple E issues (Ecological, Environmental and Energy) This year’s series starts with a dream which he narrates as he and Gloria meet for coffee in the loca l Breadcompany location.

FLUNK’S SPACE DREAM:“Hi, Gloria, I had an

incredible dream last night,” said Flunk excitedly as he saw Gloria pick up her coffee and her huge chocolate chip cookie

to join him for their weekly Breadcompany breakfast. “Tell me about it” said Gloria knowing that he was about to do so any way.

“I dreamt that you and I had been shot off in this rocket to visit Mars. We went at a mind dazzling speed about twice as fast as the USA Mars project rocket. We had been put into a coma before take off and were only awoken when the capsule was getting close to Mars itself. I looked out of one of the portholes and there were all these wild space highway signs floating around us. One read:

“ I F Y O U H A V E ANNOYED A VOID AVOID A VOID!”

Another, somewhat grimly, said

“DIE HERE AND AVOID CORRUPTION”

Then you saw one Gloria and burst out laughing, I couldn’t hear you of course because of your space suit but I could see that your eyes were laughing! It read ‘BE SILENT. BE WEIGHTLESS or BE OFF! signed SSI (Save Space Inc.) We landed on the surface of Mars, got out of the capsule and started walking around. We hadn’t moved more that fifty yards when we saw a sign near an arrow that read:

“CURIOSITY THIS WAY PLEASE.”

Since we had a strong urge to meet CURIOSITY we started following the arrow’s d i r e c t i o n s o n l y t o f i n d ourselves confronted by a huge sign that blocked our passage. The sign read as follows:

S L O W - M A RT I A N CROSSING

“If you meet a Martian crossing

Please don’t travel straight across ‘im.

If he sees you’re out to get ‘im,

this is certain to upset ’im.And there’s nothing quite

so shockingAs a Martian crossed when

crossing.”At this Gloria broke in:

“Flunk, this was an incredible dream but I have to fly or I’ll be late for work!”

“OK,” said Flunk, “I’ll tell you the rest next week but just to let you know ahead of time that I think our conversation with Curiosity in my dream has given me ideas for our next congress. See you next week.”

With that Flunk finished his coffee and his huge chocolate chip cookie and followed Gloria as she trotted off to her job.

Ralph Wright O.S.B.

5 FLUNKFlunk’s Space Dream

Dont hesitate to contact us:

6 PUZZLES & SPORTSSudokus - Easy, Medium, Hard

By Alex Hill ’15Content Editor

Liverpool vs Southampton:Final Score: 2-1. Analysis:

In th i s ma tch ,L ive rpoo l showed that they can survive without Suarez, but not thrive. They fought hard to win this match against the Saints. Sterling, Henderson, and Lovren were the stand-out players in this match for Liverpool, while Wanyama, Clyne, and Tadic all impressed for Southampton.

B a y e r n M u n i c h v s . Wolfsburg:

Final score: 2-1. Title favorite Bayern opened their season with a win versus another strong Bundesliga club, Vfl Wolfsburg. For Bayern, Arjen Robben was the star man, and Thomas Muller also put in a good shift. Ivaca Olic’s fine goal put Wolfsburg back in contention, but they were unable to equalize and went home losers.

Copenhagen vs. Bayer Leverkusen:

Final score: 2-3. Analysis: T h i s f i v e - g o a l t h r i l l e r Champions League qualifier ended with favorites Bayer Leverkusen coming out on top. The highlight of this match was surely Son Heung-Min’s post-in goal for Bayer Leverkusen. The standout players from this m a t c h i n c l u d e H a k a n Calhanoglu, Son Heung-Min, and Mathias Jorgensen.

Borussia Dortmund vs. Bayer Leverkusen:

Final score: 0-2. After t h e i r m i d w e e k c l a s h i n Denmark, Leverkusen took of Bundesliga giants Borussia D o r t m u n d a n d e m e rg e d victorious, with goals from Kiessling and Bellarabi. The standout players of this match were Karim Bellarabi, Sabstian Boenisch, and Bernd Leno.

Soccer Updates

Priory FootballBy Robert Donnelly III ’15Editor in Chief

On one of the hottest days of the summer, with heat indeces bubbling over 105*, the football Rebels started their season with a bang. Competing against an impressive Soldan squad, the Rebels struck first to take the lead. However, Soldan w a s q u i c k t o r e s p o n d , completing the two point

conversion to edge one point ahead of the Rebels as the first quarter drew to an end. This quarter was emblematic of the entire match-up. It was a neck and neck game with each team exchanging blows in an attempt to finish the other one off. Going into the fourth quarter, the Rebels lead by five. With Soldan inching closer to a score, senior, Eddie

G r i e s e d i e c k m a d e a n a b s o l u t e l y s p e c t a c u l a r interception, bringing the ball into the red zone, and leaving the offense with great field position, but no score. While Soldan was able to seal the deal with a touchdown in the final seconds, the Rebels made an excellent attempt with the 30 some seconds left on the clock, reaching the one-yard

line on a Hail Mary pass from junior quarterback Andrew Rund to senior tight-end Nate Vonderhaar. In their debut, the Rebels played tough, quality football, and demonstrated their strength as well as their heart. The final score was Soldan 24, Priory 21. The Rebels’ next game is this Friday at 7:00 vs. Saint Mary’s.

theprioryrecord@gmail.com

By Matthew Kinnison ’15

The key to having the best Fantasy Football draft is knowing your league and knowing what you want. For example, the best players may not be the best fantasy scorers. On certain teams, slot receivers score better than the deep threat. Knowing simple things like this will help you develop a list. Then you need to know what you want, and this doesn’t mean indiv idual players. This means which people you want/can get in each round. Once you figure this out, your draft will go very well. The rest of this article will be concerned with helping you know what your want.

The First Round - Your most anticipated pick of the draft starts right away, and fortunately for you there are a lot of great choices this year. Like always, running backs are the most popular options in the first round. Jamaal Charles, Adrian Peterson, and Matt Forte are all about the same, fantasy-wise, and they take the top spots. All of them had rather good seasons last year, and have either the talent or the offenses to repeat. Personally, I’d avoid LeSean McCoy and Eddie Lacy. McCoy had a great season last year, but still wasn’t up t o pa r w i th t hose I

mentioned earlier. Eddie Lacy spent a lot of last season injured. He has the potential, but the Packers offense is unpredictable and injury prone. If you really want these guys, wait until late first or the second round.

Now we move into some other position players. Megatron is the top receiver as always, but once again I’d avoid him. There are receivers that score as well as he does up until the early fifth round. Its not worth losing the points at running back or quarterback to pick up this deep ball threat. Then there’s Jimmy Graham. If you want the best tight end in football, take him. No one can compete with his TE numbers. He’s not a bad pick, just think about how close you are with others in your league before you brag about getting him.

After these choices, there isn’t anything particularly special about the rest of the top 12. (Sorry late round picks). The second round pretty well starts here, and fortunately you c a n g e t s o m e f a n t a s t i c receivers and QB’s early in the second round, so look out for them. One more first round note, Unless you’re a die-hard Broncos or Badgers fan, I’d wait on Montee Ball. He

proved last year he couldn’t do certain things like pass protect, and he still has yet to prove himself. His playing time may be shared or limited.

Quarterbacks - Despite what the first round may imply, these are the most important players on your team. The best, unsurprisingly, are Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, and Aaron Rodgers, in that order. These QB’s may be worth a first round pick as they can easily carry an otherwise mediocre team. The highest end QB’s can outscore your entire receiving corp. The best benefit of these outstanding quarterbacks is that they are consistent scorers, meaning you can take greater risks with deep threat receivers and TD reliant running backs.

If you would rather play it safe, and take a quarterback in a later round there are plenty of choices. In fact, it is nearly impossible to go wrong, given how well quarterbacks score points. Late round standouts like Nick Foles and Tom Brady are fantastic starters if you pick them up sixth round or later. The college style QB’s, like Cam Newton, Colin Kaepernick, and Russell Wilson score huge amounts of points, but are more inconsistent week-to-week

than traditional quarterbacks. Finally, if you completely forgot about your quarterback at round 8, Andy Dalton is still an excellent pick, as he throws for massive yards, despite having a lot of turnovers.

A Final Note - The biggest mistake you can make in fantasy football is living in the past. Your team will be terrible if you pick players l ike Maurice Jones-Drew and Larry Fitzgerald based on their history. Often people see these players in later rounds and select them over a player on a b e t t e r t e a m w i t h m o r e potential. If you can avoid this, you will be much better off.

Good Luck with your drafts!

7 SPORTSMastering the Draft

By William Whaley ’15

While you were away this summer hiking mountains, frequenting beaches, or doing the virtual equivalents of these things in Minecraft (you know who you are), the Priory cross count ry squad has been

t raining insat iably. With enormous and impressive summer mile displays from many returning runners, this season promises to be very exciting for Priory's premier spectator sport. In our recent time trial on August 15th, a strong mixture of juniors and

seniors emerged as our top seven. Winning the two mile time trial with a time of 11:01 was Jake Drysdale, followed by George O'Sullivan, William Whaley, Thomas Lowell , Parker Dow, Alex Lowell, and Bobby Onder to complete the top seven. Our first meet is on

Thursday, August 28th at Parkway Central. JV runs at 5:00 and Varsity runs at 6:00. We'll have ten athletes in the Varsity race, so there'll be even more Priory runners to cheer for this time. Come out to the race if you want to see an exciting, fast start to the cross country season.

This Cross Country Season

(314) 434-3690 ext. 221

8 MUSICN***** on the Moon

continued from page 2

each other. Not to use the cliche, but it really comes down to what Mrs. Hartnett says in the Junior School: We see Christ in each other and we be Christ for each other. If that happens in this school across the board in every aspect of school life, then my goal will have been achieved.

TR: A fair amount of

students are wondering about dress code, specifically Fr. Linus’ addendum of remaining in blazers all day when coat and tie is required. Do you plan to keep this addition and do you have any other plans for the dress code?

FG: My understanding is that [the addition] will remain. But, we will resume the tradition of allowing varsity

sports teams to wear their jerseys on game day, with the one exception being that they have to wear coat and tie to mass on Fridays.

TR: Any closing thoughts or a message to the school?

FG: It’s a great privilege to be the Headmaster of a school. It’s an especially wonderful privilege to be the Headmaster

of the school that you went to, a n d i t ’s a n i n t e r e s t i n g o p p o r t u n i t y t o b e t h e Headmaster of a school where you were Headmaster. I’m looking forward to this and I have great confidence in the administration, faculty and staff that we have here, and believe that it’s going to be a really good year and the start of a really good phase in this school’s history.

Interview cont.

By Tripp Miller ’16

From their inception, Death Grips established that they were not in the business of accessibility. The Sacramento trio make music that's best described as “difficult”. Harsh synths, inhuman drumming from Hella's own Zach Hill, and MC Ride's cryptic yet disturbing lyrics come together to form one of the most unique and challenging sounds in experimental hip-hop. N***** on the Moon is an album ripe with dense son ic s ludge and p u z z l i n g m o m e n t s o f brightness. If there is any musical departure from Death Grip's previous releases it is the atmospheric nature and pure thickness of the tracks; where albums like Exmilitary and The Money Store were m a s t e r p i e c e s o f b r i t t l e abrasivity, N***** on the Moon feels less aggressive and more ominous. This change in sound is accompanied by a Bjork vocal sample on every

single track. Death Grips have shown themselves to be master samplers in the past, but nothing compares to the use of these vocal snippets; it almost sounds as if a different singer is creating each byte. Finally, MC Ride has reached his full potential as frontman: not only has he expanded his vocal range to include things other than screaming (a pleasant change), but he has also reached a point of lyrical a b s t r a c t i o n t h a t m a k e s Radiohead look like Katy Perry. If anyone can make any sense of Hey Sad Kid I will personally recommend you to

t h e C I A ' s c o d e b r e a k i n g division. This album's only s h o r t c o m i n g i s i t ' s composition. There are no breaks between the tracks, and the album flows together in such a way that the songs are more accurately described as m o v e m e n t s i n s o m e nightmarish symphony. This album was clearly meant to be listened to in one sitting. O t h e r t h a n i t ' s composition, N***** on the Moon might be Death Grips' strongest effort since The Money Store. 8.6/10

Check out the bandGuava

featuring Priory’s own Alex Lennartz

this weekend.

Also present will be Shindig

and The Plywood

Inspectorsto celebrate the End

of Summer at Utopia Studios, 7

PM on August 30th.

Hope you’re ready for Volume XLV!