The Seasons of Parenting

There are seasons in each year, seasons in a person’s life, and there are seasons of parenting. We parent a child who is 7 years old much differently than a child who is 3 years old. And we parent a 14 year-old who is saved differently than a 15 year-old who is not.

The Season of Bible-Based Authority (birth – about 2 years old)

Psalms 51:5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Psalms 51:5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

There are some barriers that can keep you from having the right mindset about this season in your child’s life:

The Season of Heart-focused Training

The Season of Heart-focused Training

One of the most common objections to training a young child:

24He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early

Proverbs 13:24 (Amplified Bible)

24He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early

Proverbs 13:24 (Amplified Bible)

15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. Proverbs 29:15

1 The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel: 2To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight,3to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity;4to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth—5Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance,6to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. 7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, andforsake not your mother’s teaching, 9for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.

Proverbs 1:1-9

The training we Christian parents are most concerned about is heart training. The focus of our training should be their hearts.

33 "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. 

Matthew 12:33-35

33 "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. 

Matthew 12:33-35 

23Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

Some ways instructing and training young children promotes their obedience, blesses the family, and prepares their hearts for the gospel:

1. Training them is much better stewardship of your time and theirs than retraining them. Train early so you don’t have to spend time re-training later. Good habits are developed early. This allows more time for training them to God’s standards of obedience because time is not wasted.

2. Instructing them in God’s standards shows them what God requires. As they fall short of the standard of obedience, we have opportunities to explain to them their need for a Savior. Requiring them to obey our instructions and live within the limits we give them provides this same opportunity when they fall short.

3. It helps bring order and peace to the family. When kids are not allowed to run wild but are given limits and direction, it helps create an atmosphere where we can parent with more consistency and integrity.

The Season of Gospel-Centered Training and Teaching to Obey

After a child becomes a Christian, parenting takes a significant turn. I believe it’s Paul David Tripp that says, after a child becomes a Christian, the rest of parenting is just mop-up. Why? The power of the Holy Spirit and the power of the gospel are working in tandem to empower love for God and others. The law of God has been written in their hearts. And God has promised that He will complete the good work He has started in them at salvation.