The Sentinella Malaga October 2014

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The SentinellaMálaga Edition

No 87 October 14The Sentinella Malaga

952 477 963 / 677 712 742

STRESS, enough to give you grey hair!?: A fully qualified legal professional who hasbeen in his profession for most of his workinglife happened to mention that "In Spain, themonth of September is infamous for maritaland family problems, high stress and anxietylevels"! Of course this got my mind ticking asto why?

I have recently moved house and considerthis to be quite an unpleasant and stressfulevent, especially having to make sure the'good ship Sentinella' stays on her progressivecourse! However I found that house movingdoesn't even register on most top 10 'moststressful things' which I suppose is understandable having read various poles. Yetone or two subjects featured heavily in eachpole - marital separation, relationship termination, job loss, prison sentences and soforth.. all potential causes of grey hair. Butdoes stress or shock potentially cause us todevelop grey hair? Remember that cool calmcaptain of the famous Boeing 747 aircraft thathad the misfortune to fly into a volcanic ashcloud.. Captain Eric Moody was all ready for aquiet overnight flight from Kuala Lumpur toPerth. The sky was clear and the crew werehappy because they had some extraMalaysian satay that night. But as they flewover Java, an engine failed. And then anotherand another. Minutes later all engines hadfailed. In his calmest pilot’s voice Moody madean announcement: “Good evening ladies andgentlemen, This is your captain speaking. Wehave a small problem... All four engines havestopped and we are doing our damnedest toget them going again, I trust you are not in toomuch distress.”!!! This was obviously a manwith nerves of steel, ice in his veins and athoughtful head on his shoulders!Captain Moody showed little sign of being terrified as he managed to restart all engines.

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But within six months of the incident he noticed that the tip of his quiff had turnedwhite... Within a year the rest of his hair haddone the same!

So I very much doubt it was to do with thevolcanic ash cloud and perhaps more to dowith the suppressed and inward absorption ofstress and shock that he did manage to keepfrom his passengers and crew.

I know this makes my little insignificant housemove a slight pimple on the ass of an elephant compared to this magnificent andheroic act so I hope not to encounter toomany grey hairs in the next six months.

So we should learn something from this andkeep as cool and contented as we possiblycan folks, because stress is a negative nomatter how you look at it and if you keep yourcool you'll most probably save around 1,000€a year on your back to black hair dye!!!

breath in.......... aaaaaand out ;)

J.J. - The Ed

Page 14 Amazing Marine Life Page 16 Film Review Page 17 Historical Quotes Page 29 Funny Pics Page 44 Top 10’s Page 46 Paparazzi Page 60 Countries Of The World Page 62 Useless Facts Page 64 Horoscopes Page 68 Jokes

Dog survives operation to remove 43 socksfrom his stomach

A 3-year-old Great Dane got confused withwhat you use a sock for and instead ate fortythree of the things.The dog’s owners took him to an animal hospital in Portland, Oregon, after they foundhim groaning and retching.The hospital took X-rays and confirmed thesocks in the animal’s stomach, which required a two-hour operation to get them allout.Despite the intrusive surgery, the dog survived the ordeal, although he could probably taste feet for weeks afterwards.

Babies in Texas spa are having a muchbetter day than youThere really isn’t anything better than a relaxing spa day – and thanks to Float BabySpa in Houston, Texas, tots from as young astwo weeks old can reap the benefits.The Stateside spa provides babies withslightly bizarrelooking flotationdevices, allowingthem to bob abouta pool as part of a20 minute hydrotherapy session.Rubber rings wornaround their necksallow the weebabes to paddlearound freely before beingtreated to a fullbody massage.Talk about lush.

Strange News

To Advertise Call 696 116 5526

Random JokesHell of a DayThere I was sitting at thebar staring atmy drink whena large, trouble-makingbiker steps upnext to me,grabs my drinkand gulps itdown in oneswig.

"Well, whatcha'gonna do aboutit?" he says,menacingly, asI burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't thinkyou'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say."I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meetingand my boss fired me. When I went to theparking lot, I found my car had been stolenand I don't have any insurance. I left my walletin the cab I took home. I found my wife withanother man... And then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courageto put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop acapsule in and sit here watching the poisondissolve; and then you show up and drink thewhole damn thing! But, hell, enough aboutme, how are you doing?-------------------------------------------------------------A couple drove down a country road for several miles not saying a word. An earlierdiscussion had led to an argument and neitherof them wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,'Relatives of yours?''Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'-------------------------------------------------------------A husband read an article to his wife abouthow many words women use a day...30,000 toa man's 15,000.The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everythingto men...The husband then turned to his wife andasked, 'what?'.

Joys Of Being A Football Fan

For those who do not listen to the 'Today' pro-gramme on Radio 4, this is English humour atits best.

Recently, right at the end of a programme,there was a discussion about the obscenecost of entry into Premiership football games,with the cheapest prices of £60 and even£100 per game not being uncommon.

An older chap being interviewed said he couldrecall many years ago arriving at the turnstilesat the ground of West Ham United, he wastold, "That will be ten quid, mate."

"What?!" the old chap said, "I could get awoman for that!"

The guy on the turnstile retorted, "Not for 45minutes each way with a brass band playingand a meat pie in the interval, you wouldn't!"

As the pips sounded on the hour, the presenter John Humphries, could be heard inthe background in stitches.

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95To advertise call 696 116 552 or email [email protected] 9

Top 10 signs you are too old to be Trick orTreating:

10. You get winded from knocking on thedoor.

9. You have to have a kid chew the candy foryou.

8. You ask for high fibre candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in yourbag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say, "Great Keith Richard's mask!"and you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or ..."and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag fullof restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives/ex-husbands live.

Too Old To Trick Or Treat?!

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De Cotta Law

10

Inheritance tax in Spain is about tochange, and people who paid it may beable to reclaim some of the tax

This month the European court has decidedthat Spain has been discriminating againstnon residents by charging inheritance taxwhere a resident would be exempt from tax.The decision in Commission v Spain Case C-127/12 states that this discrimination is unlawful.

At present most inheritance tax allowances inSpain are regional and only apply when boththe deceased and the beneficiaries are officially resident in Spain. In the case of residents the tax rules of that particular regionwill apply. If either the deceased or the beneficiary is non resident then the State inheritance tax rules apply.

Several regions including the Balearics, Valencia and Murcia have virtually no inheritance tax between spouses or betweenparents and children. Some regions havegenerous allowances. Andalucía allows a giftto a spouse, child or parent of up to €175,000tax free.

These allowances only apply where the deceased and beneficiaries are residents. Ifnot, the much less generous state rules applywhich simply allow a deduction of just under€16,000 from the gift for tax purposes forspouse, children and parents of the deceased. Some non residents may havepaid thousands more than residents.

The European court decision says this is unlawful but stopped short of ordering Spainto pay compensation to those wronglycharged inheritance tax. However there is animplied right for those who have been wronglycharged to claim this in the Spanish Courts.

If you have paid Spanish inheritance tax in respect of a death which occurred in the lastfour years then you may be able to claim thisback if :

1) The amount you paid in tax was more than€4,0002) You or the person you inherited from was anon-resident of Spain3) You are related to the deceased throughmarriage or a parent-child relationship4) You would have paid less tax if you hadbeen a resident of Spain. In Andalucía thiswould apply if the qualifying beneficiary received assets to the value of less than€175,000.

For those who are going through the inheritance procedure at the moment it islikely you will still need to pay the tax inMadrid as a non-resident. There remains asix months deadline for the tax to be paidthough this can be extended in certain circumstances. It is quite possible the European decision will tempt Spain, and theregions, to recover more inheritance tax fromall residents but it is very important to get advice now on whether you may have a claimand how much inheritance tax you will beobliged to pay under the current rules.

Contact [email protected] or request a consultation with Jon Sutton or Antonio Diazby phoning 951 315 161

Mijas-Costa / Calahonda – Coín – Nerja – Tenerife

www.decottalaw.comCoin Office Tel (+34) 951 315 161

E-mail: [email protected] / Calahonda Office

Tel: (+34) 952 931 781E-mail: [email protected]


Ooh Err !!!!!

1. So...What did you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moan-ing and groaning!

3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. You scared me stiff!

5. Stick your hand in and guess what you'refeeling.

6. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth inyou.

7. I bobbed but couldn't get my mouth aroundit.

8. I'd like to get a little something in the sacktonight.

9. He's got Candy spread out all over the liv-ing room floor!

10. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins onher porch.

11. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

12. Let me see your big sack!

13. Just get on your hands and knees andbob your head.

Halloween Things That Sound Dirty But Aren’t

A long, pointed snout and a guitar-shapedbody give the shovelnose guitarfish its common name. Compressed from belly toback, guitarfish bodies are attuned to life onthe sand.

Colours that range from olive to sandy brownon their upper body and whitebelow help shovelnose guitarfish blend into theirsandy seafloor habitat.

They live on sandy seafloorsin bays, seagrass beds andestuaries, and usually in lessthan 40 feet (12m) of water.

A mouth located on the bottom of the disc is wellplaced for eating bottom

dwelling prey, but breathing through it woulddestroy a guitarfish's delicate gills. Instead,guitarfish pump water in through holes (spiracles) on top of their heads, over thegills, and out through gill openings on thebottom of the disc.

Guitarfish lie in ambush buried in the sandwith only their eyes sticking out, waiting foran unwary crab or flatfish to wander by. Suddenly the sand erupts, and the guitarfishgulps down its meal.

At night, they leave the sand to activelycruise the seafloor to feed on crabs, worms,clams and, perhaps, fishes.

Guitar F

ish


Amazing

Marine L

ife

14


The New “Euro” English Language The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby Englishwill be the official language of the European Union rather than German,which was the other possibility

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spellinghad some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that wouldbecome known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"..Sertainly, this will make the sivil servantsjump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped infavour of "k". This should klear up konfusion,and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm inthe sekond year when the troublesome "ph"will be replaced with "f".. This will make wordslike fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the newspelling kan be expekted to reach the stagewhere more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal ofdouble letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of thesilent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and itshould go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to stepssuch as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with"v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan bedropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after zizfifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivunvil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze dremof a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

nda fi uoy anc eard hist uoy rea a eisgnu!!!

And if you can read this you are a genius:)Well it is an anagram!

Thinking back on my experience watchingGuardians of the Galaxy, the new film fromwriter/director James Gunn, I find myself challenged to decide on the first aspect to really focus on. The comedy seems like aneasy target, given that the feature is far andaway the funniest Marvel Studios title to date.But it would be criminal to not pay immediatetribute to the impressive, gripping action sequences filled with stunning visual effects.It’s incredible that each member of the ensemble cast steals every scene they are in– letting your mind race and struggle to determine a favourite character – but it’sequally notable that each song in the 60s/’70spop-rock-infused soundtrack beautifully enhances the moments it’s played. Hell, thenatural starting place may just be talkingabout the beginning of the movie, featuring aheartbreaking, unexpectedly pathos-drenched

moment set in 1988 where a young PeterQuill, the lead hero, watches as his motherpasses away. Similar to Joss Whedon’s The Avengers, themovie brings together a group of strange, disparate heroes/anti-heroes from the worldof Marvel Comics who unite as a team andstop a dangerous enemy from killing millions.Diving deeper, however, it’s a story about fivelost-but-adventurous souls who have experienced tremendous loss in their livesand begin to discover a way to start putting allof the pieces back together. A perfect blend ofsimple storytelling mixed with just the rightdose of sci-fi weirdness. What really can’t bestressed enough is just how insanely fun andentertaining Guardians of the Galaxy is for literally its entire two-hour-plus runtime. Madewith the same kind of energetic and creativegusto that has fueled classics like Star Wars,Ghostbusters and Back To The Future, themovie transports the audience to a unique,whole new world on the other side of the universe, and features no shortage of diverselandscapes, colourful aliens or spaceship battles.The film is built to be bright, colourfuland laugh-out-loud funny, and it’s a scream towatch it succeed.

Star Rating ****/*****


Film

Review

16

Guardians

Of The Galaxy


John Winston Lennon; (9 Oct 1940 – 8 Dec 1980), was an English musician, singer and songwriter who rose toworldwide fame as a founder member of theBeatles. With Paul McCartney, he formed asongwriting partnership. Lennon became involved in the skiffle craze; his first band, theQuarrymen, evolved into the Beatles in 1960.When the group disbanded in 1970, Lennonembarked on a solo career. After his marriageto Yoko Ono in 1969, he changed his name toJohn Ono Lennon. Lennon disengaged himself from music in 1975 to raise his son

Sean, butre-emergedwith Ono in1980 withthe newalbum DoubleFantasy.He wasmurderedthreeweeks afterits release.

Steven Paul "Steve" Jobs(Feb 24, 1955 – Oct 5, 2011) was an American entrepreneur, marketer, and inventor, who was the co-founder, chairman,and CEO of Apple Inc. Through Apple, he iswidely recognised as a charismatic and design-driven pioneer. Jobs also co-foundedand served as chief executive of Pixar Animation Studios; he became a member ofthe board of directors of The Walt DisneyCompany in 2006, when Disney acquiredPixar. Jobs was among the first to see thecommercial potential ofXerox PARC'smouse-drivengraphical user interface, whichled to the creation of theApple Lisa and,a year later, theMacintosh.

Historical Quotes


Fascinating Explanations As To How Things Found Their Colours

18

Following on from last month, now youknow the answers!

Why are fire hydrants lots of differentcolours? The association of red with fire hydrants goes back to the early fireplug, awell of water plugged with a piece of red-wood. But there are plenty of hydrants outthere that aren't red. That's because they’recolour coded to give firefighters details abouttheir water supply. For example, hydrantsusing public water systems are yellow withvarious coloured tops and caps to indicatehow many gallons per minute (GPM) of waterthey have available. The tops and caps of hydrants supplying below 500 GPM are red,500-999 GPM are orange, 1000-1499 GPMare green, and 1500 GPM or more are blue.(Don't worry. There won't be a test!) Red hy-drants use a private water system, the rarepurple hydrant supplies non-potable water,and a black fire hydrant won't save anyonebecause it's inoperable.

Why do doctors wear white coats? Youknow what they say—dress for success. Inthe 19th century, most physicians tended the

sick while wearing street clothes. With quite afew quacks running around at the same time,this business casual approach didn’t feel veryofficial. Doctors started wearing white labcoats in the early 1900s to give the professionan image makeover. The coats bolstered theirreputations by connoting scientific authorityand sterility. (Medical innovation and morethorough training eventually helped, too.)Ironically, some modern hospitals ban whitecoats, because they spread germs and causeanxiety in patients.

Why are most fast food logos red oryellow? It's no coincidence. According tocolour psychology, warm reds and yellows subconsciously stimulate the appetite andtrigger excitement and positivity. Fast foodplaces use these colours on everything fromlogos to trays to décor to entice customers tohappily gulp down food without hanging outtoo long. Cool colours, on the other hand,tend to suppress the appetite and slow everything down. The colour of food packaging also affects how much people eat.White plates, boxes, and wrappings are saidto encourage mindless overeating, evenwhen a person is already full.


Fascinating Explanations As To How Things Found Their ColoursWhy do celebrities walk the red carpet?Long before movie premieres and snarkyfashion commentary, red rugs and carpetswere rolled out to welcome royalty and sacredfigures. The ancient Greek playwrightAeschylus first mentioned the ritual in the play"Agamemnon," and President James Madison stepped off a riverboat and onto ared carpet in 1821. By 1902, the red carpetwas a more inclusive symbol of hospitality forrailroad passengers. It was re-associated withroyalty—the Hollywood kind—when it de-buted at an awards show in 1961.

Why are white flags waved to surrender?The white flag goes as far back as China'sEastern Han dynasty (25-220 CE) and Ancient Rome's Second Battle of Cremona(69 CE). The colour was convenient before itwas symbolic—white fabric was abundant,easy to see outdoors, and couldn't be mistaken for the colourful banners armies carried when they were ready to fight.

Why are baby boys dressed in blue andbaby girls dressed in pink? Gendered babyclothes haven't always been the norm in theU.S. For centuries, baby girls and boys weredressed the same — in cloth nappies andwhite dresses that probably didn't stay whitefor long. When pink and blue baby clotheswere introduced in the mid-19th century, thereweren't strict rules for how to wear them.Some people thought blue clothing lookedbetter on blue-eyed, blonde babies and pinkon brown-eyed brunettes. Others suggestedthat boys looked better in pink, because itwas a stronger colour.Clothing manufacturersin the 1940s ultimately decided which colourswere for which gender. They started makingmore dresses in pink and tiny pants in blue.The trend died down in the '70s and cameback with a frilly-or-football-printedvengeance during the '80s once ultrasoundsallowed expectant parents to learn their children’s genders before the babies madedelivery room debuts.


Funny Halloween Costumes

20

Halloween Birth

Halloween Makeup

Halloween Dogs


These Halloween party games are a perfect way to loosen up your guests before the haunting begins

Looking to kick off Halloween with a bang, nota boo? This version of a classic carnivalgame also makes a festive wall decoration,and bursting the confetti-and-candy-filled balloons in this Halloween party game willmake everyone explode with laughter.

Pop goes thepumpkinBest for childrensix years andolder. Pins make iteasier for little kidsto pop balloons,but darts will workwell for older players.Materials *4-by-5 1/2-footpiece of foamboard*2 yards of burlapor other fabric*Duct tape*Removable hooks (such as Commandhooks)*Thirty-five 12-inch orange balloons*Confetti*Candy (small, thin types work best)*Pump, for balloons (optional)*T pins*Green paper*Ribbon*Pushpins (or darts for bigger kids)

Step 1 Cover foam board with burlap; securein back with duct tape. Adhere it to wall withhooks.Step 2 Fill balloons with confetti (using a funnel) and candy. Leave a few treat-free toadd to the suspense.Step 3 Inflate the balloons (a pump makes itfaster); tie off with a knot. Attach balloons toboard with T pins, in a pumpkin shape.Step 4 Cut a stem shape from green paper,and secure with T pins.Step 5 Cut ribbon; tie onto pushpin handles to makethem easier to hold on to (and find, ifdropped).

Doughnuts on aStringTie a deliciousdoughnut on a stringand you have a popular game that isappropriate for allages.

Materials*Doughnuts *Ribbon *Rope

Step 1 Tie a lengthof rope between twotrees. With kids standing under the rope, tiepieces of ribbon to the doughnuts (one perplayer) and then to the rope so the treatshang slightly above mouth level.

Step 2 Have players start on the count ofthree. Instruct each to eat an entire doughnut-- no hands allowed -- without letting it fall offthe ribbon. The first to finish wins. There's noneed for prizes; they've just been eaten!!

Halloween Games

Cat - Last month’s answer on page 69

To advertise call 696 116 552 or email [email protected]

Find The ............?

23


Linea Directa -What To Do If You’ve Been Burgled What to do if you have been burgled

Statistics in Spain

Crime rates in Spain remain among the

lowest in the EU according to the latest

Interior Ministry crime report. However, since

the economic crisis began in 2008, there has

been a steep increase in domestic burglaries

and theft as a result. In 2012 the number of

burglaries in homes rose by 25.4%. The

message to expat residents is not to panic.

There are some simple precautions to take,

as you would back in the UK, such as fitting

security grills, installing exterior lights and

alarms, being careful about what content is

posted on social networks, especially

anything to do with trips and holidays away

from home. It also helps to take out a quality

home insurance policy that will cover your

home and its contents should any unfortunate

incident occur.

When you discover you’ve been burgled

As soon as you discover you’ve been

burgled, whether it’s a break-in or theft at

your home, first call the police. Don’t touch

anything until they arrive. A police report will

be needed to process your claim. Then

secure your home to avoid further damage,

board up any broken windows, make a list of

damaged or missing belongings, detail the

damage to your home resulting from the

burglary, taking photographs of damaged

windows or door. At this point, you can call

the claims department of your home

insurance company. We advise you to have

your policy on hand when you call.

Peace-of-mind with Linea Directa

We understand that your peace-of-mind is

important, especially in your home. Our

claims department will take a full statement of

the circumstances of the incident. We will

check the insurance coverage with you

explaining all the procedures. If emergency

repairs are required from locksmiths to

glaziers, we will help you swiftly handle your

claim and get things back to normal as soon

as possible. Fortunately, incidents of theft in

Spain are relatively small compared to other

EU countries, however should you be

burgled, your homeowner’s insurance policy

will cover the loss or destruction of personal

property if it’s stolen from your home.

Hold-up outside the homeIn many cases, your home insurance policy

may cover you for any incidents that occur

outside your home. Should you be the victim

of a hold-up outside your premises your

personal belongings are covered. We will

ensure replacement documents are quickly

and efficiently dealt with, and if required,

arrange the locks on your home to be

changed.

We hope the information provided in this

article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa

please call 902 123 161

More information on Linea Directa online

at www.lineadirecta.com


Caleta De Vélez

Caleta de Vélez is a small coastal resort situated next to Torre del Mar, approximately30 klms from Malaga. This Caleta, or Bay, ofVelez has a lovely stretch of beach and a fishing port that is apparently the third busiestin Spain.

If you follow the road past the fishing port youget to the Marina which has grown in recentyears and is now home to some luxury yachtsand other boats that can be hired to take youout for the day. If you are lucky you can evenwatch dolphins swim up beside you and play.

Take time out after eating in one of the manyrestaurants to throw some bread to the fishand watch them all come jumping up to graba piece!

Caleta boasts a Saturday market with something for everyone and the 18 holeBaviera Golf Course is just up the road between the motorway and the sea. To get tothe much busier town of Torre del Mar youcan stroll along the beach, roller blade orcycle down the attractive Paseo de Maritimewith its beautiful Palm Trees or even swim!

Property of the Month

AS2894 Caleta de Vélez 279,000€ 76m2 single storey detached villa with sea views, garage and 698m2 garden.

The villa is approached from the street via 35 steps and is situated on a popularurbanisation just a few minutes walk from the beach and port. It is built around

a semi circular terrace with doors leading out from the lounge, hallway andbedroom. The villa comprises lounge with open fireplace, fully fitted galley

kitchen, hallway with shower cubicle, bathroom, single bedroom/study, mainbedroom with fitted wardrobes and french windows to terrace. There are

architects plans available for building a second storey if required.

AS2350 125,000€ Comares

207m2 2 bed house with

1 bed self contained

apartment, lovely terrace

with sea views

AS2931 250,000€ Alhaurín Golf175m2 3 bed,

3 bath ground floor

apartment overlooking

golf course

AS2935 172,000€

Alhaurín Golf115m2 3 bed, 2 bath

apartment overlooking one

of 3 swimming pools

AS2508 220,500€

Comares

194m2 3 bed, 2 bath house

with lovely gardens and

swimming pool on 1,280m2

AS2884 105,000€

Colmenar

110m2 3 bedroom village

house with back courtyard

and jacuzzi tub

AS2692 195,000€

La Viñuela3 apartments comprising

6 beds, 4 baths on 1.400m2

plot in the centre

of the village

PROPERTY SPECIALISTS SINCE 2001

IF YOU HAVE PROPERTY TO SELL

CALL SALLY ON 626 038 851 or 952 436 781


Sally HarrisonOwner / Agent

www.axarquiaproperties.com

TORREMOLINOS 3 bed, 3 bath, 1 toilet

semi detached house, huge

lounge, basement, garage

& driveway, private pool,

250m2 built. Year 2003.

299.000€ neg.

PLAYAMARTotally reformed

1 bed, 1 bath apartment, lounge,

kitchen-diner, terrace,sea views 60m2.

120.000€

PLAYAMAR

3 bedroom luxury penthouse,

2 bathrooms, large terrace,

views, 133m2, beautiful at

215.000€

PLAYAMAR

2 bedroom, 1 bathroom

apartment, terrace, 72m2.

75 metres to beach, pool, parking.

Perfect position.

160.000€ neg.

FREE ENERGY CERTIFICATES!!

Offer From 1st January we will refund

the cost of any energy efficiency reports

if your property is then sold by us

(up to maximum 180 euros)

Our certificates cost from 75 euros +

IVA (50m2 or less)

Office in Playamar, Torremolinos, C/ninive Local 3, next to Prince of Wales Tel: 952 38 40 46

www.playamarproperties.com / [email protected]

Formerly Dreamtime Properties Inmobiliaria

LOS ALAMOS - 1bed, 1 bathroom apartment, 56m2, large south facing terrace, pool, 69.000€LOS ALAMOS - Studio apartments and 1 bed apartment from 50.000 - 75.000€BENYAMINA-PLAYAMAR - 2 Bed, 1 bath apartment, 60m2, pool, parking 90.000€PLAYAMAR Semi detached house, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, corner plot, 2 terraces,patio, 134m2, storeroom, garage 220.000€PLAYAMAR, apartment, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 83m2, large terrace, sea views,135.000€


When It Is Ok To Say Bloody Hell!!!


Body Modification......not just for Halloween but for life!

Nobody knows exactly when Body Modification begun but anthropologists assume somewhere right after the Ice Age.

The most ancient tattooed specimen, to date,is that of "Otzi the Iceman," a Bronze Ageman recently uncovered after being frozen ina glacier on the Tyrolean Alps (between Austria and Italy) since about 3300 B.C. Fifty-seven tattoos have been identified on hisbody, with most found on his lower back (aband of stripes), behind his knee (a simplecross), and on his right ankle (more stripes).The tattoos could have been ornamental, orperhaps they marked his status in his tribe. Itis more likely they were healing or protectivetalismans used to prevent pain in those areasof the body.

Body Modification or "Body Mods" were oncethought to be atrocious and disgusting, asmany practitioners could only receive employment from The Circus, and or "Freak-shows". But now in the modern age,this is becoming more and more popular, with

the outcome beingthe slowly butsurely growing acceptance by society.People nowadayswho are takingtheir Body Modifications tothe next level arerather somewhat"mini-celebrities".


FIRE WHIRLS: The fire whirls, fire devil orfire tornado, is a rare natural phenomenonthat occurs when a fire, combined by certainair temperature and currents, forms a whirlthat rises into the air like a tornado. They canbe actual whirlwinds that disengage from theflames, or else can become a vortex of flame.The fire whirl usually occurs during bush fires.

MORNING GLORY CLOUDS: Morning Gloryclouds are very rare types of clouds. Theycan stretch 1,000 kilometers long and occurat altitudes of up to 2 km. Although similarclouds are seen in many places worldwide,the ones over Burketown, Queensland in Australia occur predictably every spring.These tubes and the surrounding air cancause dangerous turbulence for airplaneswhen clear

SKY PUNCH: A fallstreak hole, also knownas a punch hole cloud, is a large circular orelliptical gap, that can appear in cirrocumulous or altocumulous clouds. Suchholes are formed when the water temperaturein the clouds is below freezing but the waterhas not frozen yet due to the lack of icenucleation particles. When ice crystals doform it will set off a domino effect, due to theBergeon process, causing the water dropletsaround the crystals to evaporate: this leavesa large, often circular, hole in the cloud

LENTICULAR CLOUDS: They are stationarylens-shaped and sometimes multi-layeredclouds that form at high altitudes. They areformed when moist air is forced to flow upward around mountain tops. Due to theirshape, they have been offered as an explanation for some UFO sightings.

Rare Natural Phenomena

31


Halloween Recipe 24 Beef Chipolata Sausages

Ingredients1 egg, lightly whisked4 sheets (25 x 25cm) ready rolled puff pastryAmerican mustard, to decorateTomato sauce, to serve

1. Preheat oven to 200C. Line 2 baking trayswith baking paper.

2. Preheat grill on medium-high. Cooksausages under preheated grill, turning, for 6-8 minutes or until golden brown and cookedthrough. Remove from grill and set aside tocool.

3. Use a small sharp knife to cut the pastryinto 1cm-thick strips. Lightly brush pastry witha little egg. Wrap 2-3 pastry strips aroundeach sausage to resemble bandages, leavinga little gap at one end for the face. Trim anddiscard excess pastry. Place on the lined tray.Repeat with remaining sausages, pastry andegg.

4. Bake in preheated oven, swapping trayshalfway through cooking, for 20-25 minutes oruntil golden brown and puffed. Remove fromoven and set aside to cool slightly. Use theAmerican mustard to decorate the mummieswith eyes. Place on a serving platter, servewith mustard and tomato sauce.


The Modern Alphabet

33

BLUETOOTH


Women Drivers This morning on the motorway, I lookedover to my right and there was a Womanin a brand new VW !!

Doing 75mph

With her face up

next to her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away

For a couple seconds

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily..

But she scared me so much

I dropped

My electric shaver,

Which knocked

The meat pie

Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying

To straighten out the car

Using my knees against

The steering wheel,

It knocked

My Mobile phone

Away from my ear

Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs,

Which splashed,

And burned

"Big Jim and the Twins",

Ruined the phone,

Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an

Important call.

B***** Women Drivers!!


Some quotes to think about...

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time...when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.Most of the time... when you're happy, nobodysees your smile. But when you fart just onetime...

They say that love is more important thanmoney, but have you ever tried to pay yourbills with a hug?

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talkto another woman; she will be all ears.

It's really complicated to make somethingsimple, but very simple to make somethingsomething complicated.

You know you are getting old when the can-dles on your birthday cake start to cost morethan the cake itself.

They say money doesn't bring happiness, buteveryone still wants to prove it for themselves.

If we were on a sinking ship, and there wasonly one life vest... I would miss you so much.

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you.In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you.In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!

Long time ago I used to have a life, untilsomeone told me to create a Facebook account.

I didn't find out what happiness means until Igot married... and then it was too late.

Funny Quotes

10,9,8,7,6

,5,4,3,

2, 1,

To advertise call 696 116 552

Top ten most bizarre wars...

10. Lijar (Spain) v. France

(1883-1981) Casualties: none

9. The War Of The Oaken Bucket

(1325-1337) Casualties: unknown

8. The Paraguayan War

(1864-1870) Casualties: 400,000

7. The War Of The Stray Dog

(October 23 - November 2, 1925)

Casualties: 52

6. The Aroostook War

(December 1838-November 1839)

Casualties: 550

5. The Pig War

(June-October 1859) Casualties: One pig

4. Three Hundred And Thirty Five Year War

(1651-1986) Casualties: None

3. The Football War

(June 14-20 1969) Casualties: 3,000

2. The Moldovan-Transdniestrian War

(March 2 - July 21 1992) Casualties: 1,300

1. The Emu War

(November 11 - 18 1932)

Casualties: 2,500 emus

Top Ten

s

44


Idiotic ActsUnbelievable!!!!

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave thecashier a 5€ note. Our total was 4.25€ so Ialso handed her 25c.She said, 'You gave me too much money.'I said,'Yes I know, but this way you can justgive me a euro coin back.'She sighed and went to get the manager whoasked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c,and said 'We're sorry but we don't do thatkind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded togive me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at MacD's.------------------------------------------------------------My daughter went to a Mexican takeawayand ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for'minimal lettuce..'He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From Bankstown, Sydney...------------------------------------------------------------I was at the airport, checking in at the gatewhen an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggagewithout your knowledge?'To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That'swhy we ask.'------------------------------------------------------------When my husband and I arrived at a cardealership to pick up our car after a service,we were told the keys had been locked in it.We went to the service department and founda mechanic working feverishly to unlock thedriver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'itsopen!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'------------------------------------------------------------Very very interesting, scientifically proven...You cannot stick your tongue out and look upat the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility.

You didn’t try it.. did you?

45


Profile

Name: Felicity Ann Kendal

Birthday: 25 September 1946

Age: 68 Sign: Libra

Birthplace: Warwickshire

Marital Status: Married twice

Children: 2 Occupation: Actress

Claim to fame: Probably best known for

being Barbara Good in the 1970s TV series

The Good Life

Actress Felicity Kendal, CBE, is known andrespected for her television and extensivestage work, but is perhaps best rememberedfor her starring role as Barbara Good in the1970s TV series The Good Life, alongsideRichard Briers, Paul Eddington and Penelope

Keith. Her most recent TVseries was ‘Rosemary andThyme’ in which she playedgarden-loving amateur detective Rosemary Boxer,starring with her greatfriend, Pam Ferris.

Felicity was born in Warwickshire but spentmuch of her childhood inIndia, where her fathermanaged a touring

repertory company. She was educated at sixconvents in India. Her father had adopted hisown birthplace of Kendal, (then Westmorlandnow Cumbria), as his stage name. His original surname was Bragg, and he was adistant relative of author and TV personalityMelvyn Bragg. Felicity made her stage debutaged nine months, when she was carried onstage as a changeling boy in ‘A MidsummerNight's Dream.’ Family friends James Ivoryand Ismail Merchant fashioned their fictionalfilm Shakespeare-Wallah (1965) around theKendal troupe and gave Felicity the leadingrole. She was 19.

This month we lo

ok at a fe

male F of the

celeb world... F

elicity Kendal

Paparaz

zi

Rustic House Ref: AS2936685m2 10 bed, 5 bath 300 year old olive and wine press converted into a rustic B&B

comprising 3 houses and 2 apartments, located in the Montes De Málaga Natural Park. This beautiful property is full of charm and character with many original features including the

original kitchen! Very private with 50,000m2 of land and amazing mountain views. Off the grid with solar power and well water.

Olías 395,000€


Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party.Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinksdidn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't evenremember how he got home from the party.As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if hedid something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes,and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the sidetable and, next to them, a single red rose!!Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front ofhim, all clean and pressed. He looks aroundthe room and sees that it is in perfect order,spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge blackeye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the cornerof the mirror written in red with little hearts onit and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left earlyto get groceries to make you your favouritedinner tonight.I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough,there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffeeand the morning newspaper. His 16 year oldson is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... What happened lastnight?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, p***** outof your mind, you fell over the coffee tableand broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you raninto the door. All in all, one hell of a performance Dad."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why iseverything in such perfect order and soclean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on thetable waiting for me??"His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mum draggedyou to the bedroom, and when she tried totake your trousers off, you screamed.... "Leave me alone, I'm m arried!!" Broken Coffee Table £239.99Hot Breakfast £4.20 Two Aspirins £0.38Saying the right thing, at the right time...PRICELESS

Random Joke

47


Save the Coca Cola !!

Bed or Internet !!

The bike or the misses!!

I’ll just reply to my Wassap!!

The Priorites In Life


Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)

British scientists at Rolls Royce built a gunspecifically to launch dead chickens at thewindshields of airliners and military jets alltravelling at maximum velocity. The idea is tosimulate the frequent incidents of collisionswith airborne fowl to test the strength of thewindshields. American engineers heard aboutthe gun and were eager to test it on the Windshields of their new high speed trains.Arrangements were made, and a gun wassent to the American engineers. When thegun was fired, the engineers stood shockedas the chicken hurled out of the barrel,crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashedit to smithereens, blasted through the controlconsole, snapped the engineer's back-rest intwo and embedded itself in the back wall ofthe cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, alongwith the designs of the windshield andbegged the British scientists for suggestions.Rolls Royce responded with a one-linememo: "Defrost chicken”.

You have ben warned !

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?Marry It!-------------------------------------------------------------How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?Put a nipple on it.-------------------------------------------------------------What is the difference between a battery and awoman?A battery has a positive side-------------------------------------------------------------Why is the space between a woman's breastsand her hips called a waist?Because you could easily fit another pair of titsin there.-------------------------------------------------------------Why do men fart more than women?Because women can't shut up long enough tobuild up the required pressure.-------------------------------------------------------------Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..It's called a Wedding Cake.

Only In America! Jokes For Men Only!

Please Mention The Sentinella 52

White Design Company The importanceof outdoor furniture when living on theCosta del Sol

Your outdoorspace can becomean extension ofyour lounge, withthe same comfort, however with the addedbonus of dining or lounging in the glorioussunshine or under the stars. At White DesignCompany we have a large range of furnitureand decoration for the terrace, including allweather rattan, aluminium, wood and evenweather proof fabrics. We also have lots of accessories to choose from, including outdoorrugs, parasols, decoration and lighting. If thenights get a little chilly we also have outdoorheaters and comfy throws. Why not pop intoour showroom and speak to our helpful staff,they will endeavour to meet your exact requirements and help you choose the bestoptions for you. We are open 10:00-18:00Monday – Friday with no siesta and Saturday10:00-14:00. See our back page advert


Our teacher asked what my favourite animalwas, and I said, "Fried chicken."She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't havebeen right, because everyone else laughed.My parents told me to always tell the truth. Idid. Fried chicken is my favourite animal.I told my dad what happened, and he said myteacher was probably a member of PETA. Hesaid they love animals very much. I do too especially chicken, pork and beef.Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal'soffice. I told him what happened and helaughed too. Then he told me not to do itagain. The next day in class my teacherasked me what my favourite live animal was. Itold her it was chicken. She asked me why,so I told her it was because you could makethem into fried chicken. She sent me back tothe principal's office. He laughed and told menot to do it again. I don't understand. My par-ents taught me to be honest, but my teacherdoesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her whatfamous person we admire most.I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where Iam now!

....Words of wisdom!

“The most unfair thing about life is the way itends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot ofyour time. What do you get at the end of it? Adeath. What’s that, a bonus?!? I think the lifecycle is all backwards. You should die first,get it out of the way. Then you go live in anold age home. You get kicked out for beingtoo healthy, go collect your pension, then,when you start work, you get a gold watch onyour first day. You work forty years until you’reyoung enough to enjoy your retirement. Youdrink alcohol, you party, and you get ready forHigh School. You go to primary school, youbecome a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, yougo back, you spend your last 9 months float-ing with luxuries like central heating, spa,room service on tap, then you finish off as anorgasm!! Amen”.

Smile George Constanza’s...


Fancy A Date ?Dating customs around the world

These are some of the ways people date inother countries of the world.

Afghanistan - Dating is rare in Afghanistanbecause most marriages are arranged by parents, and schools are separate for boysand girls. The opportunities to meet are rare.Girls have a 7pm curfew, while boys have an11pm curfew.

Australia - Most teens go out in large groupsand don't pair off until they are 18 or 19 yearsold in Australia. Girls often ask out boys andpay for the date, too. Couples often go to dinner parties, barbecues, or the beach.

Central and South America - Dating is notallowed until the age of 15 here. When ofage, most boys and girls date in large groups,going out together to weekend dance parties.When not dancing, teens gather at local clubsto eat and talk.

Europe - Dating is usually a group event inEurope. In Finland, as many as 30 teens may

attend a movie together. Slumber parties arecommon in Italy and Switzerland, whereteens gather for parties at a home and sleepthere when the party is over.In Spain teens join a pandilla, a club or agroup of friends with the same interests, likecycling or hiking. Dating is done one-to-oneand both girls and boys ask each other outand split the cost of the evening's entertainment.

Russia - Dates take place at dances or atclubs where teens eat or chat with friends. Insmall towns, teens meet in the streets downtown or gather around a fountain.

Iran - It is against the law to date in Iran.Teens are separated until they are of marrying age, then their families introducethem to each other and sometimes acourtship follows.

Japan and Korea - In Japan and Korea,most high school students don't date or go toparties, but spend their time studying instead.Dating begins in college, when only boys dothe asking and pay for the dates.


I have been thinking again.....

1. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter sincenobody listens.

2. I wished the buck stopped here, as I coulduse a few.

3. I started out with nothing, and I still havemost of it.

4. When you go into court you are puttingyourself in the hands of 12 people thatweren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

5. Light travels faster than sound. This is whysome people appear bright until you hearthem speak.

6. When sign makers go on strike, is anythingwritten on their picket signs?

7. When you open a new bag of cotton balls,is the top one meant to be thrown away?

8. When your pet bird sees you reading thenewspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

9. Where do forest rangers go to "get awayfrom it all"?

10. Why is it that when you're driving andlooking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

11. If you have your finger touching therearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirrorare closer than they appear", how can that bepossible?

12. Why is it so hard to remember how tospell MNEMONIC?

13. Why is it called a TV "set" when you onlyget one?

14. Why does your nose run and your feetsmell?

15. Why does an alarm clock "go off" when itbegins ringing?

16. Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Funny Thoughts


News From Money Corp

59

Well, the world, especially England cannow let out a collective sigh of relief, aswe all know the Scots voted no and de-cided to stay with the Union, can youimagine the headache of creating a newunion flag!!

Other nations were worried if Scotland got itsindependence, Spain – Catalonia, India –Kashmir, and other states within countriesthat want independence. We had all sortsjumping on the bandwagon supporting the“NO” vote, Eddie Izzard, Al Murray – Publandlord, Bob Geldof –Irish and Mr Obama.I’m surprised the “Yes” campaigners were notshowing Braveheart on a continual loop. Thisof course is now old news and Cameron cannow concentrate on gearing up his campaignto be re-elected as Prime Minister. The markets loved this decision and we saw sterling spike to 1.2785 on Friday the 19th ofSeptember.

The ECB are encouraging banks within theEU to borrow money at close to 0% interestrates, for these banks then to lend to business in their countries, they are hopingthat this will stave off deflation, as we knowMario Draghi is trying to come up with waysto implement QE – bond buying with in theeuro Zone.

The Fed Reserve also met to discuss whentheir interest rate would rise and when theywould stop their bond buying program, theydecided to keep the rates low, and to tapperoff their asset buying, by another $10billon.The national debt of the US has grown by anadditional $1trillion in the last 12 months, thetotal debt stands at just over $18 trillion – amassive number.

To Find out how Moneycorp can help youwith your currency requirements,

please call 0034 952 587 657 or email [email protected]

NEW: Top name Sofas - DFS, HARVEYS, NEXT, etc.

Bahamas

Population - 330,000

Language - English

Located - West Atlantic

Capital City - Nassau

Currency - Bahamian Dollar

Religion - Christian

Main Exports - Crude Oil

Literacy Rate - 95%

Life Expectancy - 71 years

G.D.P. Per Capita - U.S. $15,300

Total Area - 13,935 Sq Km

Famous for - Being a tropical tax haven.

Biggest Celebrity - Lenny Kravitz has the

honour, having a Bahamian mother.

Reasons to go there - While these islands

are sparsely populated, their pristine beauty,

captivating climate and friendly locals provide

a wealth of opportunities for tourists.

National Sports - Sailing, Athletics, Soccer

and Cricket.

Interesting Facts - There are nearly 700

islands, 661 cays, and 2,387 rocks that make

up The Bahamas, of which only about 30

islands are inhabited.

The name of the state comes from the Spanish

word “bajamar”, which means “shallow water”.


Countrie

s

Of The W

orld

60

Number thirte

en in our A

-Z list s

ees us move

onto the lette

r ’B’ and begins with

a visit to

one of the jewels of th

e commonwealth...

1) China's largest city is Shanghai.

2) Devon is the only county in Great Britain tohave two coasts.

3) England is smaller than New England.

4) Disneyland opened in 1955.

5) A blind chameleon still changes colours tomatch his environment.

6) A deer cannot eat hay.

7) A male chimpanzee is 5 times hornier thanthe average human male.

8) A rat can last longer without water than acamel.

9) A full moon isnine timesbrighter than ahalf moon.

10) A jumbo jetuses 4,000 gallons of fuel totake off.

11) A rainbowcan only occurwhen the sun is 40 degrees or less above thehorizon.

12) All snow crystals are hexagonal.

13) At any given time, there are 1,800 thunderstorms in progress over the earth's atmosphere.

14) Bamboo (the world's tallest grass) cangrow up to 90cm in a day.

15) Clouds fly higher during the day than thenight.

16) Alexander the Great was an epileptic.

They ar

e useles

s

but am

azing !


Useless F

acts

Internet

T.V

Installed

www.thesentinellamalaga.com



The Word Up

65

This two-letter word in English has moremeanings than any other two-letter word,and that word is'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or[v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning towardthe sky or at the top of the list, but when weawaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is atoss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary towrite UP a report? We call UP our friends,brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver,warm UP the leftovers and clean UP thekitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP theold car.

At other times, this little word has real specialmeaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP fortickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.To be dressed is one thing but to be dressedUP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must beopened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but weclose it UP at night. We seem to be prettymixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeableabout the proper uses of UP, look UP theword UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the pageand can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP alist of the many ways UP is used. It will takeUP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP,you may wind UP with (UP to) a hundred ormore.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is cloudingUP. When the sun comes out, we say it isclearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP theearth. When it does not rain for awhile, thingsdry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrapit UP, for now... my time is UP!

NOW I WILL SHUT UP!

...In our own random order!

Bus TimesAlhaurin de la Torre - 952 410 444Alhaurin el Grande - 952 491 010Benalmadena - 952 441 545Coin - 952 453 587Fuengirola - 952 471 000Malaga - 952 327 950Torremolinos - 952 380 600

TaxisAlhaurin de la Torre 952 410 444Alhaurin el Grande 952 491 010Benalmadena 952 441 545Coin 952 453 587Fuengirola 952 471 000Malaga 952 327 950Torremolinos 952 380 600

Weekly Market daysTuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre, Arroyo dela Miel, Rincon de la Victoria, Saydo Hotel Mol-lina, La Cala de Mijas Thursday - Alhaurin el Grande Freia ground,Pizarra, Torremolinos Recinto Feria Ground.Friday - Arroyo de La Miel, Cartama countryFarmers market, Cartama Feria Ground, MijasCosta, Rincon de la VictoriaSaturday - Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas,Ojen, Caratracca car boot. Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha, Esta-cion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaga next toFootball Stadium, Pizarra car boot, Torremoli-nos by crocodile park.

Shops10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally)The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings.Cinemas - Showing English FilmsCoin - La Trocha 951 315 039Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221

Intenational Dialing CodesUk 0044Gibraltar 00350USA/Canada 001Ireland 000353

Health CentresAlhaurin de la Torre 952 410 426Alharin el Grande 952 595 000Alora 952 498 100Benalmadena 952 440 305Cartama 952 424 042Central Health Service 955 018 000Coin 952 453 336Fuengirola (Los Boliches) 952 460 036Fuengirola (west) 952 468 835Health 24 Hr Response 902 505 060Mijas (La Cala) 952 492 150Mijas (Las Lagunas) 951 062 247Torremolinos 952 386 484

Water SuppliesMalaga: 952 135 013

Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sun-days, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note,the majority of banks will not accept bills to bepaid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am..


EMERGENCY NUMBERS EMERGENCY NUMBERS Local Police : 092 - Guardia : 062 - Fire : 080

Tourist InformationCoin 952 822 818Fuengirola 952 467 457

ConsulatesUK Opposite the main bus station Edif, EurocomBloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga902 109 256 or 913 342 194IrelandAvda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola952 475 108Netherlands/DutchAvda, Palma de Mallorca, 57Edif. Castillo San Louis, bajo 29620 Torremolinos952 380 888GermanyC/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga952 363 591Sweden952 604 383 France952 226 590 / 952 214 888Belgium952 559 159Denmark952 211 797Luxembourg952 857 197

AirportsMalaga 24-hour information 952 048 484Arrivals T2/3 952 048 844Arrivals T1 952 048 845Departures 952 048 804

Airlineswww.easyjet.comwww.ryanair.comwww.thompsonfly.comwww.flymonarch.comwww.flybe.comwww.bmibaby.com

Railway StationsMalaga 952 360 202 Granada 958 271 272 A1 Andalus Service952 537 227Coastal Service 952 360 202RENFE Tickets 902 240 202

Town HallsAlora 952 496 100Benalmadena 952 579 800Campanillos 952 722 168Coin 952 453 018La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208Fuengirola 952 589 300Malaga 952 135 000Rincon 952 402 300Torremolinos 952 379 400

HospitalsCarlos Haya 951 030 100Civil Hospital 951 030 300Maternity Hospital 951 030 200Costa del Sol Hospital 952 102 112Hospital Clinico University 952 649 400

TelefonicaDial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004


EMERGENCY NUMBERS EMERGENCY NUMBERS Ambulance : 061 - Water : 952 540 662 - Electricity : 952 540 662


Jokes ha ha :)

Went down this morning to Centrelink to signmy Dog on. The woman said "Dogs are noteligible to draw benefit". I explained to herthat my Dog is unemployed, can't speak English and has no clue who his dad is. Shelooked in her policy book to see what it takesto qualify. He gets his first cheque on Friday.Damn this is a great country. ------------------------------------------------------------On their way to the church to get married, ayoung Catholic couple were involved in afatal car accident.Being good Catholics the young couple findthemselves sitting outside the Pearly Gateswaiting for St. Peter to process them intoHeaven.While waiting, they begin to wonder: couldthey possibly get married in Heaven?When St. Peter finally showed up, they askedhim. St Peter said "I don't know”.This is the first time anyone has asked. Letme go find out" and he leaves them sitting atthe Gate.After three months, St Peter finally returns,looking somewhat bedraggled."Yes" he informs the couple "you can getmarried in Heaven"."Great!" said the couple "But we were justwondering, what if things don't work out?“Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?""You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter,red-faced with anger, slamming his clipboardon the ground."What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple"."OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It tookme three months to find a priest up here.“Do you have any idea how long it'll take meto find a bloody lawyer?"------------------------------------------------------------The Queen is in Glasgow where she bumpedinto Alex Salmond.HM: “How nice to see you Mr Salmond”.AS: “Nice to see you Ma’am. Now, what arewe going to call Scotland when we win Independence? How about calling it a Kingdom, and then I’ll

be a King”?HM: “No, we don’t like that idea Mr Salmond”.AS: “Empire, and I'll be Emperor”?HM: “No. I don’t think so Mr Salmond”.AS: “OK, so how about calling it a Principality,and then I’ll be a Prince”?HM: “No, Mr Salmond. May I suggest that wecall it a Country?------------------------------------------------------------The Can of PaintA newly wed couple wanted to join a church.The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners.You must abstain from sex for an entiremonth."The couple agreed but after two-and-a-halfweeks, returned to the church.When the Pastor ushered them into his office,the wife was crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed."You are back so soon...Is there a problem?"the pastor inquired."We are terribly ashamed to admit that we didnot manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man repliedsadly.The pastor asked him what happened."Well, the first week was difficult; however, wemanaged to abstain through sheer will power.The second week was terrible, but with theuse of prayer, we managed to abstain. Thethird week, however, was unbearable.We tried cold showers, prayer, reading fromthe Bible, anything to keep our minds free ofcarnal thoughts.But one afternoon, my wife reached for a canof paint and dropped it. When she bent overto pick it up, I noticed that she didn't havepanties on and I was overcome with lust and Ihad my way with her, right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly."You understand this means you will not bewelcome into our church," stated the pastor."We know," said the young man, hanging hishead."We're not welcome at Homebase any more,either."



Jokes ha ha :)

69


A son asked his mother the following question: “Mum, why are wedding dresses white?” Themother looks at her son and replies: “Son, this shows your friends and relativesthat your bride is pure.”The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father. “Dad why are wedding dresses white?” The father looks at his son in surprise andsays:“Son, all household appliances come inwhite.”------------------------------------------------------------The Queen's RiddleDavid Cameron asked the Queen, "YourMajesty, how do you run such an efficient organisation? Are there any tips you can giveme?""Well," said the Queen, "The most importantthing is to surround yourself with intelligentpeople." David Cameron then asked, "But how do Iknow if the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen took a sip of tea."Oh, that's easy;you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch me and listen" The Queenpushed a button on her intercom. "Pleasesend Prince Charles in here, would you?"Prince Charles walked into the room andsaid, "Yes, Mother? The Queen smiled and said to Charles, "Answer me this please Charles. Your motherand father have a child. It is not your brotherand it is not your sister. Who is it?" Withoutpausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered "That would be me." "Yes, very good!" Saidthe Queen. "Ah ha I get it" said David, "thankyou Ma'am" and in a great rush he left.Cameron went back to Parliament and decided to ask Nick Clegg the sameQuestion. "Nick, answer this for me. Yourmother and your father have aChild. It's not your brother and it's not yoursister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Clegg and then in trueNick Clegg style he went on to say. "Let me

get back to you on that one." He went to hisadvisers and asked everyone, but none couldgive him an answer.Frustrated, Nick went to the men's lavatory,and found Nigel Farage in there. "Nigel, see ifyou can answer this question." "Yes Nick" replied Nigel. "Your mother and father have a child and it'snot your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Farage immediately answered, "That's easy,it's me!" Clegg grinned, and said, "Good answer Nigel,I see it all now!" Clegg then went back to findCameron and said to him; "David, I did someresearch and I have the answer to that riddle.If your mother and father have a child who isnot your brother or your sister, the child isNigel Farage!" Cameron went red in the face, got up,stomped over to Clegg, and yelled into his face, "No! You bloody idiot! It's PrinceCharles! ------------------------------------------------------------Three friends married women from differentparts of the world. The first man married aGreek girl. He told her that she was to do thedishes and house cleaning. It took a couple ofdays, but on the third day he came home tosee a clean house and dishes washed andput away. The second man married a Thaigirl. He gave his wife orders that she was todo all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.The first day he didn't see any results but thenext day he saw it was better. By the thirdday he saw his house was clean, the disheswere done, and there was a huge dinner onthe table. The third man married a Lancashiregirl. He ordered her to keep the house clean,dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundrywashed, and hot meals on the table everyday. The first day he didn't see anything, thesecond day he didn't see anything either, butby the third day, some of the swelling hadgone down, he could see a little out of his lefteye and his arm was healed enough that hecould fix himself a sandwich and load thedishwasher. He still has some difficulty whenhe urinates.

1. From what creature is green fat obtained?

2. By what name is the Euxine sea aka?

3. In mythology who was the Egyptian god ofevil?

4. What is phyllophobia the fear of?

5. Which tree is the symbol of Lebanon?

6. How many minutes are in a degree of anangle?

7. Which town or city has WA as its postcode?

8. What are the Decalogue?

9. Which birds are known collectively as “anunkindness”?

10. What type of animal is a Havana Brown?

11. Which sport featured in the film “Tin Cup”?

12.What is a sepoy?

1) I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a

wooden case, from which I am never

released, and yet I am used by almost

everybody. What am I?

2) What comes once in a minute, twice in a

moment, but never in a thousand years?

3) Mary was working in a chemistry lab with a

mixture of chemicals that was 90% water and

weighed 20 pounds. After returning to the lab

from a weekend break, she calculated the

mixture was now 50% water. How much does

the mixture now weigh? For purposes of this

puzzle, assume the non-water part of the

mixture was not affected by evaporation.

4) How could he manage to drop the glass

from a height of six feet and not spill a drop of

water?

5) Forward I am heavy, but backward I am

not. What am I?

Get Quizical

Sudokus

Hey Diddle Riddle

Easy Tough


Puzzle Pages

70

Answers on page 73


Puzzle PagesCrossword

Across1 Small bed on rockers (6)

4 Breakfast container (3,3)

9 Be glad (7)

10 Bright — fast (5)

11 Head as a skeleton (5)

12 French dramatist, Jean d. 1987 (7)

13 Eye protection in the polar regions? (4,7)

18 Landmass formed by two continents (7)

20 Indian prime minister 1947-64 (5)

22 Feed in a pasture (5)

23 Floating mass (of lettuce?) (7)

24 Free from liability (6)

25 Spin (6)

Down1 Cherry red (6)

2 Old province of the Loire valley, an English

possession 1154-1204 (5)

3 Stricken (4,3)

5 Gadget (5)

6 Whim (7)

7 Princess beloved by Cupid (6)

8 Delusion about one’s own power (11)

14 Tell (7)

15 (Use of) heavy weapons systems (7)

16 Eater of no animal products (6)

17 (Make an) embarrassing mistake (6)

19 Without the bounds of moderation (5)

21 Dog-like carrion eater (5)

Detached House Ref:0121Fantastic house 600m from the beach with stunning views of the sea and mountains.

3 bedrooms with the possibility of one more, 2 bathrooms, 2 living rooms, 2 kitchens andseparate dining room. Private pool, terraces and outside kitchen with BBQ and a bread oven

and automatic irrigation system.

Caleta de Velez 369,000€ (negotiable)

87 Issue87 Months

Call: 696 116 552

What’s on this month in your area thismonth?

October Events at POGS (The Old IrishRock Pub) Calle Lamo de Espinosa, Fuengirola. 662 594 111 Every Weds celticmusic sessions 22.30, Every Thurs livemusic jam session 22.30 Every Sunday Stevie Nelson band (times subject to change,contact bar) 3rd Traffic Jam, U2 Tribute anRock 23.30 4th Looney Toonz band ska andreggae 23.30, 10th Supergrooves 23.30, 11thlive band tbc 23.30, 17th OOJames Band23.30 18th monkey tennis band 23.30, 24thSilverbeats Beatles Tribute 23.30, 25thStereo 23.30, 31st halloween fancy dressand Alice and the Wonderband 23.30

Every Friday and Saturday at The OliveTree Bar and Restaurant in Coin “MonsterKaraoke” and Sunday’s “Franke B” CalleMaria Zambrano, 952 452 554

Every Wednesday The Malaga Picasso Museum is offereing free guided tours in English which is included in the price of admission. Starts 11.30am.

Market DaysMonday - Marbella, Torrox, Alora & Rivieradel Sol Tuesday - Fuengirola, Marbella, Benihavis,Algeciras & Tarifa Wednesday - Arroyo (flea market in paloma

park) La Cala & Alhaurin de la Torre Thursday - Torremolinos, Alhaurin el Grande,& San Pedro Friday - Arroyo, Tivoli & Paloma Park, MijasCosta & Marbella Saturday - Puerto Banus, Mijas Costa, Coin,Istan, Estepona,Ojen Pueblo, & FuengirolaFlea Market Sunday - Fuengirola(nr Mosque), Torremolinos Flea Market, La Trocha BootFair, Coin, Estepona, San Roque & Sotogrande, Mijas Hipodromo Boot Fair, Calypso Calahonda.Many markets take place on the local feriagrounds. If there is a Feria, the market will beclosed!

Bex - Live Music - International Vocalist -Blues, Jazz, Rock n Roll, Pop and more... AtThe Frog & Toad - Alhaurin El Grande. Followon Facebook Bex Singer Spain - for datesand venues.

Every Monday 11am - 1pm Age Care DropIn... where people can chat and share experiences and find out about living in Spainat La Iglesia Bar, nr Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa

Bar Majesty C/independencia 19 FuengirolaDarts Tournament Every Sunday Quiz NightsEvery Thursday 686 789 843

Last Month’s Crossword AnswersQuiz Answers 1. Turtles, 2. The Black Sea, 3. Set,

4. Leaves, 5. Cedar, 6. 60, 7. Warrington, 8. The 10 Commandments,

9. Ravens, 10. Cat, 11. Golf, 12. Indian soldier

Riddle Diddle Answers 1. A lead pencil,

2. The letter M, 3. A.12 lbs, 4. It was an empty

glass, 5. A ton

Find the Cat answer

AIR CONDITIONINGAIR CONDITIONING

BARS & RESTARURANTSBARS & RESTARURANTS

wFor Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119007, Torre del Mar

wThe Mad Monk, All sports shown, large partiescatered for. La Carihuela Torremolinos, behind HotelCabello. Sat nights Quiz and bingo. Tel: 693 478 275Email: [email protected]

DENTISTSDENTISTSwAlhaurin Dental Centre World class dental care, li-censed, insured and provides high quality, word classdental care to the whole family since 2001. Call: 654 996 026

wLazy Days Enjoy a relaxing drink or snacks at LazyDays, WIFI available. Salvador Allende 50 Le - 12, 4,Torremolinos Call: 656 358 368

BEDSBEDS

wThe Bed Warehouse New larger showroom, topquality British Beds and mattresses at unbeatableprices. Call: 600 633 986 / 634 187 700www.bedwarehousespain.com [email protected]

wThe Peacock Sunday Roasts & Prime Steaks, Spe-cial Meat Feast. Call: 677 443 461

wFestival Cafe Cafeteria, Internet, Gelateria, EnglishBreakfasts, hamburgers, pizza and pasta. La Trocha,Coin. Call: 951 315 206

wBoat Trips - Caleta Cruise Club (Torre del Mar) Tel: 650 193 777 www.AbsoluteAxarquia.com/attractions/ccc.htm

CONSTRUCTIONCONSTRUCTIONwSp Installation high quality construction & reformCompany. Kitchens, bathrooms and all kind of con-structions Call:654 010 903

CAR HIRECAR HIREwLow Cost Car Hire - Car hire at competitive prices,free delivery & collection, airport collection & return.Daily, weekly & monthly rates. Long term from just50€ per week. No credit card req. Call: 951 088 780 /622 122 000 www.countrycarhire.info

CATERINGCATERING

wHog Roast and Event Catering for all special oc-casions. Hog Roasts and BBQ’s to make a memo-rable occasion. From children to adults. We cater forall. Call: 647 245 450 www.hogroastmarbella.com

CHIMNEY CARECHIMNEY CAREwChimney Care Costa del Sol professional chimneyservice, all areas covered. Call: 607 441 959 / 654184 242

CAKE SHOPSCAKE SHOPS

wCake shop, We specialise in cupcakes, popcakes,personalised cakes, biscuits etc... To book a partycall: 664 643 521 Facebook: : Bon Appétit-cupcake


wBMC Business Management Consulting Tax & ac-counts, Business & financial advice, car transfers &translations. Arroyo de la Miel, Benalmadena. Tel: 952386 294 Mob: 628 266 742 Email: [email protected]

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT BUSINESS MANAGEMENT

BOAT TRIPSBOAT TRIPS

BEAUTY SALONSBEAUTY SALONSwSudi Salon Specialising in Threading. Call: 952 381504 Arroyo de la Miel

wAir conditioning repairs new installations. Coinmeters to help with consumption costs. Solar repairs.Swimming pool heating. Nerja to Sotogrande andinland. Airflow 952 443 222 [email protected]

74

COMPUTER LESSONSCOMPUTER LESSONSwBasic computer lessons, troubleshooting and re-pairs, upgrades, help with skype etc.. Covering areaof Benalmadena and surrounding areas. Call: 626980 869 email: [email protected]


A-Z Directory A-Z Directory

FURNITUREFURNITUREwFurniture Land Quality Secondhand Furniture withbargain low prices. Alhaurin el GrandeTel: 633 666 098 www.furniture-land.webs.com

wPalm Beach Club Holiday apartments & Studios.Special long let prices. Call: 952 370339

HOLIDAY APARTMENTSHOLIDAY APARTMENTS

wMoneycorp for all your financial needs. Call: 952587 657 moneycorp.com/spain

FINANCIALFINANCIAL

wDreamtime Properties Call:952 384 046 www.dreamtimeproperties.com [email protected]

wAxarquia Properties S.L Call: 626 038 851 or 952436 781 www.axarquiaproperties.comEmail: [email protected]

wIPTV with up to date TV service. set top boxes with14 day catch up. Call: 951 390 567

wHotel Tamisa Golf The jewel of Mijas Call: 952 858988 [email protected]

wX Pat Planet Free UK Channels, no monthly feesCall: 952 22 33 44 / 605 193 609

INTERNET TVINTERNET TV

HOTELSHOTELS

ENGINEERING/SYSTEMSENGINEERING/SYSTEMSwKiano All types of machining, engineering and de-velopment. Call: 638 735 747

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATEESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE

wMuebles Del Mundo - Coín (Furniture of the world)Furniture & Decorarions from around the world. Madefrom high quality woods and materials Tel: 952450156/690882898 Coín Facebook: muebles del mundo

FURNITURE & DECORATIONFURNITURE & DECORATION

GARDENINGGARDENINGwMaintenance of Gardens and Swimming PoolsEnglish, German and Spanish speaking, 27 years old.Call: David: 656 775 928

wRich Shine Homecare Total care for your home!Home & Window cleaning, Gardens a & pools.Environmental friendly products. For a professional& reliable service contact us! 634 436 532 Email: [email protected] website richshinehomecare.com

HOME SERVICESHOME SERVICES

INSURANCEINSURANCEwInsurance Essential Cover SL provide all types ofinsurance for your personal and business needs -Over 15 years’ experience in UK and Spain. CallGaynor on 951 390 700Email: [email protected] or visit our website: www.essential-cover.com

wEverything for your home or rental property.Beds, bed linen, towels , curtains, cushions, decora-tion, kitchenware – helpful, highly trained staff. Closeto Miramar shopping centre –Mijas costa. www.yorkshirelinen.es Call: 952 197 577

HOME FURNISHING & BEDSHOME FURNISHING & BEDS

wWhite Design Company Tailor-made furniturepackages without compromising on quality. Alsomakeover solutions and refurbishments available. Tel:952 494 155 / 600 583 673 www.whitedesignco.com/ [email protected]

wService-Center Calypso Your perfect place for alltypes of Insurance. We collaborate with the biggestcompanies to provide you with the best quote. Call952 939 068

ELECTRICIANSELECTRICIANSwAll types of electrical & wiring work undertaken.Renovations and Installations inc CCTV ElectronicDoors and Antennas. For English enquiries call 69611 65 52 Para Español 653 08 44 48

wDomoelect All electrical Works, Bulletins, Proj-

ects, Complete rewires, Fault finding, Emergency

24/7 callout. Tel: 687 660 366 www.domoelect.com

75

wThe Garden Butler: 21 years of service in theHouse of Lords now offering bespoke garden, home& dining services in the Alhaurin area: gardening,domestic help & sliver service waiting. Reasonableprices. Call: Robert 608 041 447, email: [email protected]

GLASS CURTAINSGLASS CURTAINSwRDMC’S Glass manufacturers S.L, glass curtain &stainless steel specialists. Tel: 952 477 963

GARDENSGARDENSwLa Concepcion Historical and Botanical GardensCall: 952 252 148

wNeoGlass Glass Curtains and Roofs. Call for quo-tation or visit our showroom Calle Rio BenamargosaNo. 7, Opp. the BP Gargae on Camino de Coin, MijasCosta. Call: 951 775 214 www.neoglass.es

FABRICSFABRICS

wFabric Warehouse Malaga We specialise in curtainand upholstery fabrics from 5€/m. Located nearMalaga airport opposite Makro Tel: 656 342 971


A-Z DirectoryA-Z Directory

REMOVALSREMOVALSwRoy Trevor Removals The professional worldwidemovers, weekly services between UK, Spain & Por-tugal. Call: 951 311 118 Mijas Costa

POOL TABLES/VENDING MACH.POOL TABLES/VENDING MACH.

wProfit share - No outlay required: Pool Tables, Mini-Vending, Boxing Machines, Football Tables, JukeBoxes also New / Secondhand Domestic Pool Tables& Accessories. 629 530 233 www.superpoolspain.com

SATELLITE SYSTEMSSATELLITE SYSTEMS

wTechnovision Call: 952 520 946 / 657 066 782Email: [email protected] www.techno-vision.es

PROPERTY RENTALSPROPERTY RENTALSwOwners - Thinking of renting out your property?Clients - Looking for long term, lengthy or holidayrentals? Contact www.solfinders.com or phone 952930 459

wAlcantara Property Investments SL Qualifiedagent. Legal advice. Paperwork. Long established atCalahonda, El Zoco Commercial Centre, L32, MijasCosta. www.alcantara.net [email protected] 931 221

REAL ESTATEREAL ESTATE

ROOFING & GUTTERINGROOFING & GUTTERINGwAll Types of Roofing & Guttering work under-taken in all aspects of the job. For a no obligationquote please call: 607 441 959 / 654 184 424

wFetajo Rent A Car Your quality local company in theCosta del Sol -Free delivery & collection at MálagaAirport without any queue or Courtesy Minibus andwe don´t charge for fuel -Bookings on: 952 939 738or 952 934 412 - www.fetajorentacar.com

RENT A CARRENT A CAR

PLANT HIREPLANT HIRE

wWebb & Sons Plant Hire Suppliers of river stone,sand, gravel, turf & top soil. Call: 649 526 922 / 647880 816 based near Alhaurin el Grande

POOL SHOPSPOOL SHOPS

wSplash Swimming Pool S.L The biggest pool shopin Mijas. Pool maintenance, pool analysis, special of-fers always available. Call: 952 591 053 [email protected]

LAWYERSLAWYERS

wMentor Abogados Lawyers and Chartered Ac-countants. Boulevard de La Cala, Local B15 La Calade Mijas. Call: 952 494 143 / Fax: 952 599 228 www.mentorabogados.com Offices in Mijas andMarbella

wDe Cotta Law Spanish and English Lawyers, spe-cialising in Business Law, Debt Recovery, CompanyStart-Ups and more. Multilingual. Mijas Costa/Cala-honda. Tel: 952 931 781 [email protected]

wAnna’s Laundry - Service Wash, Dried & Folded,Ironing Service, Dry Cleaning Service. Down theramp in Plaza Ibensa Benalmadena Mon - Fri 09.30-16.30 no siesta. Tel: 952 560 914 www.annaslaundry.com

LOCKSMITHLOCKSMITH

wEmergency/Appointment. Doors opened withoutdestruction, Locks changed, Patio Doors & WindowsSecured, 24 hour service Call Paul 657 466 803

MECHANICSMECHANICSwChili Motors General Mechanic WANTED CARSFOR CASH re ITV and diagnostics. Call: 671 342512 Monday - Saturday 9-7pm.

PAPERSHOPSPAPERSHOPSwPapeleria Cristina Large selection of cards, news-papers, magazines and stationary. Offex postal serv-ice, PO boxes, internet & mobile top ups. Tel/Fax:952 594 108 Email: [email protected]

PAINTERSPAINTERS

wRainbow Pinturas English, professional, reliablepainting & decorating company. Free quotations, cov-ering all areas. All sized works undertaken. Daniel628 066 308 www.rainbowpinturas.com

wShaggys music bar Fuengirola. Live music everyThurs/Fri/Sat. Facebook fuengirolanightlifemusicbarshaggys

LIVE ENTERTAINMENTLIVE ENTERTAINMENT

wPOGS The Old Irish rock pub, live music 5 nights aweek. Facebook Pogs Fuengirola C/ Lamo de Es-plnosa, Fuengirola.

76

English Mobile Mechanics The Garage. All generalrepairs and services incl: Air con, re-gas, Pre-ITV in-spection and test, mobile service, fully legal and reg-istered. Call: 952 827 443

MOBILE MECHANICSMOBILE MECHANICS

LAUNDERETTESLAUNDERETTES

PLUMBERSPLUMBERSwSimply Plumbing: For all your plumbing needs,from leaking tap to complete reform, from decalcifyingto safe drinking water. Telephone 634 257 718 or forEnglish afternoons only 665 507 429

wNancy’s Laundry Collection and delivery service.Dry cleaning, washing, ironing, rugs, duvets, curtains,sun blinds stc.. Bonanza 70, between lloyds & PiscisApts. Call: 952 561 726

TELEVISION REPAIRSTELEVISION REPAIRS WINDOW TINTINGWINDOW TINTING

wMobile Service ITV legal Solar reflective tint forglass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heatglare, save money on cooling, make living in the suncomfortable. 958 496 571 / 644 546 [email protected]

wTelevision Repairs Specialists in Plasma, LCD,LED TV’s, can collect. Call: John 600 706 201

WEB SITESWEB SITES

wSpanglish Webs Multilingual Web Designs Data-base Programmes, Search Engine Optimization,CMS, Hosting and Domains. All at realistic prices.

Call Rachel: 691 660 187 www.spanglishwebs.com


w Wedding Wheels Andalucia - Tel: 650 193 777

Webpage:www.AbsoluteAxarquia.com/services/wed

ding_car.html.

WEDDING CARSWEDDING CARS

wSolutions For All Your PC & Television Repairs Office based in Calahonda next to Mercadona Call:952 933 847 / 666 127 990 www.pctvsolutions.es

SECURITYSECURITY

wPERFECT Alarm S.L. High quality security sys-tems, video surveillance, alarm systems, perimetricprotection, home automation. Worldwide surveillanceof your property. We speak English and German. CallMr. Martin: 608 517 661

SWIMMING POOLSSWIMMING POOLSwLEAK-TEC specialist pool leak detection company.Please visit our website www.leak-tec.com for moreinformation, or call Calvin on 666 659 876 (part ofAxarquia Pools)


A-Z Directory A-Z Directory

w Sign D Sign, Specailising in, Shop signs, Windowsigns, Vehicle signs, A boards and large format print-ing, Tel 603 464 582 or 952 930 547 [email protected] / www.signdsign1.com.

SIGNSSIGNS

77

UPHOLSTERYUPHOLSTERY

wFabric Warehouse Malaga For all your interior andexterior upholstery needs. Transform your sofa, cush-ions, curtains and patio furniture, covers for jetskis,motorbikes, cars, trailers etc. Tel: 656 342 971

Documents

The Sentinella Malaga October 2014