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The Social Outcast:The Social Outcast: Social Exclusion, Rejection and Social Exclusion, Rejection and
Bullying.Bullying.The Educator’s RoleThe Educator’s Role
HILLSIDE PRESSHILLSIDE PRESS
“A student is being repeatedly teased and called unpleasant names by another,
more powerful student, who has successfully persuaded other students
to avoid the targeted person as much as possible. As a result, the victim of this behaviour is feeling angry, miserable
and isolated.”
Please circle the answer closest to what you think.
There are no right or wrong There are no right or wrong answers.answers.
““Without friends no one would Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all choose to live, though he had all
other goods.”other goods.”
- Aristotle- Aristotle
Social Relationships are a Social Relationships are a NeedNeed
• Social connection is a need as basic as air, water and food.
• Social isolation causes pain that is very similar to physical pain.
• The need to belong is a universal one.
Social Relationships Effect Social Relationships Effect Four Important NeedsFour Important Needs
Need to belong
Self-esteem
Perceived control over environment
Meaningful existence
Why Are Peer Relationships Why Are Peer Relationships Necessary?Necessary?
Social practice and learning of social skills.
Social support
Interaction with equals
Time spent with same age peers
Who Is Most at Risk of Being Who Is Most at Risk of Being a Social Outcast?a Social Outcast?
Deficiency in one or more areasLow self-esteem High sensitivity to rejectionInsensitivity to rejectionFamily problems / Parental rejection
Who Is Most at Risk of Being Who Is Most at Risk of Being a Social Outcast?a Social Outcast?
Person-group dissimilarity
- aggression
- shyness
- low achievers
- inattention and/or hyperactivity
The Consequences of The Consequences of Rejection and BullyingRejection and Bullying
threat to four needs
pain and hurt
cognitive and/or behavioral reaction
The Consequences of The Consequences of Rejection and BullyingRejection and Bullying
If the rejection is continual the child will feel:
alienated depressed helpless worthless anxious
The Consequences of The Consequences of Rejection and BullyingRejection and Bullying
Rejected children often react with self-defeating behaviour:
Aggression and/or hostility Dropping out of school (25% vs. 8%) Criminality Social withdrawal
Long Term ConsequencesLong Term Consequences
LonelinessSocial isolationCardiovascular diseaseImmune system problemsIncrease in blood pressureMortalityPsychiatric problems
Who Is Immune to the Effects Who Is Immune to the Effects of Rejection?of Rejection?
Children with at least one friend.Children with a low sensitivity to
rejection.When they are not the only child being
bullied.
Why Don’t These Children Why Don’t These Children Have Social Skills?Have Social Skills?
Unlearnt at home or an inability to “automatically” learn these skills.
The vicious cycle of being rejected as lack of social interaction leads to an inability to learn social skills.
Poor attachment as a baby or parental rejection.
Why Don’t These Children Why Don’t These Children Have Social Skills?Have Social Skills?
Avoidance of social connection in order to protect themselves.
Pre-existing behavioral or emotional problem (learning difficulty and/or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
What the Educator Can What the Educator Can Do to HelpDo to Help
SCORE YOUR RESPONSES
A. The victim must stand up for him/herself
B. Punish the bully
C. Ignore the problem
D. Problem solving approach
E. Not a serious problem
The Social Outcast will react in one of three ways:
1) Aggressive coping2) Ruminating3) Denial coping
All three are associated with long term maladaptive functioning.
Expect acceptance not rejection
(social detective work)Encourage the development of
friendshipsEncourage extracurricular activitiesEncourage parents to organize
opportunities for the child to socializeBoost self-confidence
TEACHING SOCIAL SKILLSTEACHING SOCIAL SKILLS
Social skills initiate and maintain positive social relationships with others.
Social skills deficits will lead to learning and teaching problems, problems in classroom orchestration and climate.
TEACH POSITIVE INTERACTION TEACH POSITIVE INTERACTION SKILLSSKILLS
Acceptance or Rejection depend on six Acceptance or Rejection depend on six unconscious questions:unconscious questions:
1. Is this person fun?2. Is this person trustworthy?3. Do we influence each other in ways I like?4. Does this person help me achieve my
goals?5. Does this person make me feel good about
myself?6. Is this person similar to me?
FUNFUN
ACCEPTANCE
Humour
Skillful
Cooperative
REJECTION
Mean or aggressive
Bossy
Withdrawn
Low cognitive skills
INFLUENCE IN WAYS I LIKEINFLUENCE IN WAYS I LIKE
ACCEPTANCE
Cooperative
Responsive
REJECTION
Mean or aggressive
Bossy
Rigid or resistant
FEEL GOOD ABOUT FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELFMYSELF
ACCEPTANCE
Supportive
Kind
Responsive
Likes me
REJECTION
Insulting
Non-responsive
Dislikes me
SIMILAR SIMILAR
ACCEPTANCE
Grade
Race
Age
Values and interests
Respects peer conventions
REJECTION
Superior manner
Different values and interests
Handicapped
Social TasksSocial Tasks
Coping with success Dealing with conflict Defending self Coping with failure Staying involved Making a friend
Social TasksSocial Tasks
Sharing / cooperating Sticking up for a friend Coping with rejection Responding to requests Making requests
Social TasksSocial Tasks
Helping others Maintaining a conversation Coping with teasing Being supportive of others
““There is something in staying close to men There is something in staying close to men and women, and looking on them, and in and women, and looking on them, and in
contact and odor of them, that pleases the contact and odor of them, that pleases the soul well…”soul well…”
- Walt Whitman- Walt Whitman
That part of what makes life worth living That part of what makes life worth living is being close to others.is being close to others.