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^LOCAL HISTORY

THE

—"And Bake It as Fast"

Represents Company 14

Laundrymen 15

Two Weddings 16

Easy Money 17

Want to Write 18

, KJ71Published mo/ithlij in tye interest ofj:he employes of the

A. E.̂ S TAIJEY {fv/A NM FACHLU RIN G CO.\ E;C A T U lMI/L L I N O. .V_ y._... DP

E D I T O R ,

H E. CADECARTOONIST

W. n.VanHOOK

theCorrecting Webster

"EXPERIENCE"—that which is of-fered young college graduates in lieu ofsalary.

"HASH"—the ghost of a square meal."PROHIBITION" — that which is

blamed for all the crimes once blamed oncorsets, fast horses, sun spots and theDemocratic Administration.

"PURITAN"—one who looks uponbreakfast as the beginning of a new day.(Antonym). ANTI-PURITAN, one wholooks upon breakfast as the end of theday before.

*Smith was standing before the judge

for having injured his wife.Judge—You maintain that you threw

your wife out the second-story windowthrough forgetfulness?

Smith—Yes, we used to live on theground floor, and I'd clean forgotten we'dmoved!

Real DevotionHubby—I see that Stoneham, who died

the other day, left his wife half a million.How would you like to be his widow?

Wifey—Now, you know I would ratherbe yours, dear.—Western Christian Ad-vocate (Cincinnati).

"A flirt, am I?" exclaimed the maid,under notice to go. "Well, I knows themas flirt more than I do, and with less ex-cuse." She shot a spiteful look at hermistress, and added, "I'm better lookingthan you. More handsome. How do Iknow? Your husband told me so."

"That will do," said her mistress frig-idly.

"But I ain't finished yet," retorted themaid. "I can give a better kiss than you.Want to know who told me that, ma'am?"

"If you mean to suggest my husband—""No, it wasn't your husband this time.

It was your chauffeur."

Economical"You won't go to the theater with me

in your old hat?""Certainly not!""That's just what I thought. So I

didn't buy a ticket for you."—Paris Regi-ment.

Starting LifeThe bore was telling the assembly in

the smoking room how he had made hismoney.

"When I started in business," he said,pompously, "I resolved that my mottoshould be 'Get thee behind me, Satan'."

"Excellent," murmured a quiet voicefrom the rear of the room; "there's noth-ing like starting life with a good back-ing."

"Here's a book, madam," said the bookagent, "which tells you how to keep yourhusband. It's a wonderful little book."

"I've been keeping my husband for thelast fifteen years," replied the woman."What I want is a book that would tellme how to make him go to work andkeep me for a change."

Oh, Man!There once was a lady named Eve,Who caused Father Adam to grieve.

When he asked where she'd been,She replied with a grin:

"I've been absent without any leave."— Exchange.

"The horse you sold me last week is afine animal, but I can't get him to hold hishead up."

"Oh, it's because of his pride. He'llhold it up as soon as he's paid for."

After watching the young lady driverahead wave her hands in three or fourdifferent directions at once on the inter-section, the driver behind decided she wasgoing to turn to the right and crashedinto her as she changed her mind. Hegot out to do a little interviewing.

"Well, all I can say," said the miss, "isthat I'm sorry."

"Is that all you can say?""Why, yes.""Well, then," said the young man,

clearing his throat, "listen to me! ! ! !"

A tourist stopped his car on the roadand asked a little country boy how farit was to Bunkville. The little boy re-plied, "It's 24,996 miles the way you isgoing, but if you turn 'round, it ain't butfour."

Point 9Tit for Tat

An engineer was oiling his locomotivewhen a farmer stepped up and becamevery much interested in looking over thehuge machine. The wise-cracking hog-head asked him if he would like to buyher.

"Well," replied the farmer, "I guess Ican buy as much of her as you can sell."

Blinks—You said your wife would notbe happy until you had a three-car gar-age, and now that you have one I sup-pose she is.

Jinks—No; the neighbors now have ahangar in their back yard.—Exchange.

Jungle KnowledgeTeacher (holding up picture of a zebra)

—And what animal is this?Pupil—A horse in his bathing suit.

The teacher was testing the knowledgeof a kindergarten class. Clapping a half-dollar on the desk, she said sharply.

"What is that."Instantly, a voice from the back row,

"Tails."»

"Say, how come old Robinson got wellso consarned quick? Thought he wasgonna kick the bucket last week?"

"Well, you see it was this way. Hegot wind that the young wife of his'n wasgittin' too daw-gone friendly with theundertaker."

Going Down"Oh, yes," said Mrs. Gadgett, proudly,

"we can trace our ancestors back to—to—well, I don't know exactly who, butwe've been descending for centuries."—Boston Transcript.

•Lieutenant—What's wrong with you,

rookie? I told you I wanted a fine sight.What is a fine sight, anyway?

Rookie—A ship load of guys like yousinking.—-Ex.

•On Second Thoughts

MacAllister—And hoo did you feelwhen you learned that your uninsuredshop was on fire?

Isaac—Feel? I turned as vite as yourshirt—no viter!

Not Heavenly Twins"Mother's got a surprise for you, Tom-

my!""Oh, I know all about that!""Not that you have two dear little sis-

ters?""Yes, I do, and their names, too; 'cause

when the doctor told daddy, he said:'Twins — oh, Hell and Blazes'!"

Mr. Jones — Bridget, has Johnnie comehome from school yet?

Bridget — Yes, sir."Have you seen him?""No, sir.""Then how do you know he's home?"" 'Cause the cat's hidden under the

stove, sir."- * -

The Beaten PathHe — Just as Burgess and the widow

Jones started up the aisle to the altarevery light in the church went out.

She — What did they do then?He — Kept right on going. The widow

knew the way.

Chinese Patient (over telephone) — Doc,what time you fixee teeth for me?

Doctor — Two-thirty, all right?Chinese Patient — Yes, tooth hurty me

all right, but what time you want me tocome?

If your job is hum-drum to you, it'sbecause you've been thinking hum-drumthoughts.

The instant a man brings up the subjectof thrift, his wife demands that he quitsmoking cigars and playing golf.

A pretty girl at an evening party wasbantering a genial bachelor on his reasonsfor remaining single.

"No-oo, I never was exactly disap-pointed in love," he said. "I was whatyou might call discouraged. You see,when I was very young I became verymuch enamored of a young lady of myacquaintance. I was mortally afraid totell her of my feeling, but at length Iscrewed up my courage to the proposingpoint. I said, 'Let's get married." Andshe said, 'Why, who'd have us'?"

EditorialHOW NOT TO LIVE LONGER

"There is considerable availableadvice on how to live longer," saysa leaflet issued by the George Wash-ington Life Insurance Company,"but very little on how to die soon-er. We feel that the time is oppor-tune to present some simple, spe-cific advice and instruction for thosewho really do care. We can guar-antee that any person followingthese rules will be in his grave fromten to twenty years earlier than hewould otherwise be."

Instructions are presented in theserules:

Avoid all possible contact withfresh air. Stay indoors in roomswith all windows closed and over-heated. Sleep in rooms without anyventilation.

Heat your garage on cold morn-ings by running your automobileengine for an hour or two.

Make every effort to increase yourabdominal girth beyond all normalmeasurements. Stuff yourself at alltimes, eat lots of sugar and severalpounds of meat daily.

Take no exercise. Ride to andfrom your work. Don't ever cut thegrass or clean off the snow.

Never take a vacation. And burnyour candle at both ends, particular-ly when tired. (Fatigue furnishesa fertile field for tuberculosis.)

Always worry from morning un-til night—learn to enjoy it. If pos-sible, stay awake to worry overthings during the night.

By all means, keep constipated.Drink no water at any time, and eatno fruit.

Should your tonsils be bad or yourgums have pus, be glad and do

nothing about it for these are fore-runners of rheumatism, heart trou-ble and Bright's disease.

After age forty pay no attentionto lumps that may suddenly appearand persist, or any other signs ofcancer, for with prompt attentionand care cancer can generally bechecked or cured.

If any one should tell you that youshould have a health examinationevery year and visit your dentistregularly, tell him that you do notbelieve in surh stuff. Tell him youwant to be uncomfortable, ineffi-cient, and short lived.—Bird's Ne-ponset Review.

QUALITY GETS THE ORDERSIt is the duty of the Sales De-

partment to get the first order butthe men in the plant get the repeatorders.

This is only another way of say-ing that it takes quality in the pro-duct to keep the customer sold. Andit surely does these days. Ask anysalesman for any manufacturingcompany.

Our jobs depend on getting or-ders. No orders—no jobs. There-fore it is up to each of us to do hiswork so well that the sum total ofthe efforts of all will be qualityproducts at low cost, so they canbe sold at a profit.

Close team-work and co-operationbetween those who make our pro-ducts and those who sell them aremore necessary in these days thanhas been the case for a long time.Can we afford to slight quality andthus jeopardize our jobs and thecorporation employing us?

—Clipped.

WORK VS. TALK"Those who believe the world is

getting better are those who are try-ing to make it beter."

I guess in our experience, mostof us have found that a large percent of adverse and harping crit-icisms come from those who do theleast.

Men who have tried to do thingshave found at their heels so many tocriticise and obstruct that they learnin time its curse and instinctivelyseek for the points of value in theendeavors of others and try to help.

Someone has said (and it oughtto have been in the Bible): "He onlyhas a right to censure who has theheart to help."

Is not that as true as truth?—Trumbull Cheer.

UNLOVELY TRAITSWhat causes a man to be dis-

liked? Donald Laird lists the fol-lowing traits:

1. Failing to keep his promises.2. Being unwilling to go out of his

way to help others.3. Indulging in exaggerations.4. Being sarcastic.5. Showing off how much he

knows.6. Exhibiting superiority.7. Bossing people whom he does

not employ.8. Reprimanding people for acts

he disproves.9. Being caught at making fun of

people behind their backs; and10. Dominating people openly.

SUNSETSSince we have moved into our new

building, one of the pleasures of theworking day is that moment when,on leaving the building in the eve-ning by the west entrance, the fullbeauty of the autumn sunset spreadsacross the sky. It is just for a mo-ment—sometimes we hardly see itat all—but on every fair day it isthere, in red and gold and purplesplendor, with just enough city skyetched against it.

If you haven't already noticedthese sunsets, make it a point to doso soon. Pause for a moment towatch the colors change and fade—-and then thank good fortune thatyou are working away from thebusiness center where you can en-joy those lovely things without toomany grimy walls shutting off allviews.

DON'T LET YOURSELF—Worry when you have done your

best.Hurry when success depends upon

accuracy.Think evil of a friend until you

have the facts.Believe a thing is impossible

without trying it.Waste time on futile regrets.Imagine that good intentions are

a satisfactory excuse.Harbor bitterness within your

own soul.—Contributed.

Work hard . . . Live within yourincome . . . Don't gamble . . . Bereasonable.

The cynic is one who never seesa good quality in a man, and neverfails to see a bad one. He is thehuman owl, vigilant in darkness, andblind to light, mousing for vermin,and never seeing noble game.——Henry Ward Beecher.

Happy New Year

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,The flying cloud, the frosty light;The year is dying in the night,Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,Ring happy bells, across the snow;The year is going, let him go,Ring out the false, ring in the true!

THE

STALEYJOUIQML—"And Bake It As Fast As You Can"

Modern Bakeries Turn Out Perfect Bread and Cakes

In this complicated maze of modernliving one of the outstanding factors mak-ing for its success has been the modernbaking industry. On the other hand thissame baking industry, one of the world'soldest, has known undreamed of develop-ment because of the demands of modernhousewives. Almost back to the begin-ning of history bread in some form hasbeen recognized as the important item indiet. Because the Bakers Guild was oneof the important trade organizations ofthe Eleventh Century, it is safe to sup-pose that the industry existed before thattime.

Until recent times nearly every homewas its own bakery, especially in the lessthickly settled and rural districts. Bak-eries were not always models of order,sanitation and efficiency and many of thebest housewives looked askance at them.Home baking was a big task but mostwomen had been reared to look upon itas a regular part of household routine.In the well ordered household of a gen-eration or two ago Saturday was bakingday, and it was a mixture of horrors anddelights.

But when big houses gave way tosmaller apartments, and when women nolonger felt that marriage meant giving upplaces in the business and professionalworld, then less cooking could be donein the home, and the bakery industrycame into its own. Now even the fewwomen who have the inclination to baketheir own bread and pastries seldom haveroom in their smaller kitchens or ovensfor such activities.

The modern bakery is as different fromthe plants of fifty years ago, as anythingcan possibly be. The little, dark base-ment workshops are gone, and most ofthe old hand processes are replaced bymachinery. Perhaps the biggest changeis that all guesswork has been taken outof baking, and it has been made a scien-

tific process. With the building of pavedroads, and the common use of the motortruck it is now no longer necessary foreach neighborhood to have its bakery.Large plants in well located cities servedistricts within two hundred miles withfresh breads, rolls and cakes daily.

In recent years the number of bakerieshas been decreasing, but the productionhas greatly increased. This condition hasbeen caused by the mergers which havebeen going on in the industry. Largebakeries have absorbed many of thesmaller ones, and then the larger oneshave merged under central heads.

The company which kindly offered itshelp in gathering material for this articlehas had such a growth. Its arrangementis along the same lines as those followedby any big successful business, whetherit be making bread or steel or cloth.There is a centralized office where allbuying is done, and where all other activi-ties are supervised. Branch managershave charge of all bread and cake bakeriesscattered throughout the country.

Because buying must be the first stepin the process, we will consider it in thatorder. Bakery buyers in the most modernplants work closely with the control lab-oratory, an important part of the organi-zation. Not only must the buyer decidewhat flour must be used, but after it ispurchased a test is run from each barrelto see that it does not vary from originalspecifications. This some caution is takenwith all other ingredients.

Bakery laboratories are generally underthe direction of women trained in thechemistry of foods. Not only do they runaccurate tests on all ingredients used, butthey test all recipes and all ingredientsby baking the actual articles in smallovens. A bakery laboratory looks like aminiature bakery, and is one of the busiestplaces about the plant.

T H E STALEY J O U R N A L January 1931

Modern Bakeries Have Laboratories

Test ovens are like thereal thing only small.

I!

All materials must gothrough a severe chemi-cal test.

January 1931 T H E STALKY J O U R N A L

In most laboratories of this sort thearticle is not forgotten as soon as theingredients and recipes are tested. Afterthe recipe is put into actual use samplesof the finished article are sent to thechemists for testing for color, texture,flavor, etc., and a careful check is made.The laboratory also receives one articleof each variety in each baking' for asimilar test. In this way modern bakerieskeep up a standard high grade at all times.

Bakeries themselves are no longer ex-perimental kitchens but are marvelousmodern manufacturing plants, but stillturning out far better and much moreuniform products than ever before in thehistory of the industry. Flour, now, ispurchased in large enough quantities thateach bakery can store and age it to suitits own requirements. For this aging pro-cess it is stored in well ventilated rooms,in which washed air, at an even tempera-ture, about 80 degrees, is constantly cir-culated.

From this room it goes to the siftersas it is needed. This is not a simple pro-cess of sending the flour over a coarsescreen, but rather consists of sifting atleast three times through fine mesh whichcatches any foreign particles which mayhave slipped in. A glance into the wastebarrel shows that such particles are sofew that the laymen wonders why allthe excitement about sifting.

Automatic conveyors carry the flourfrom one sifter to another, and then onto the blender, for generally bread ismade of two flours blended. Keeping trueto their decision that the process mustbe automatic, the exact amount of flourneeded for the batch of bread is measuredas it passed through the next conveyorinto the mixer, and the machine clicksshut when that amount is in.

Mixing is no longer a matter of rollingup your sleeves and plunging into thedough either. As soon as the flour isweighed and the milk, salt, yeast, sugarand other ingredients are weighed andmeasured it all goes into the big mixerswhere electrically operated arms pull itback and forth must as we did taffy in theold baseburner days. In a surprisinglyshort time it is ready for the dough room,where it is taken in long troughs.

To the modern housewife, especially ifshe knows anything about doughs, thisroom is a marvel. The most modern typeare built with cork walls, floors and ceil-

ings, no windows and only one door. Bythermostats the air is kept at a steadytemperature and moisture and the doughrises steadily and always in the samelength of time. When it is raised suffici-ently the trough is pushed over to a chute,the end is raised and the whole massslides down a well greased chute into thedividers. For a few minutes now the pro-cess is such a quick one that it takes akeen eye to follow the dough as it issliced off into loaf sizes, floured, carriedon into rounding machines, then into theproofer and finally into the moulding ma-chine where it is shaped into leaves anddropped into the pans. All of this pro-cess has taken scarcely longer than itdoes to tell it, for the dough passes fromone to another on conveyor belts.

In some bakeries the pans are on con-veyors when they receive the dough, andpass directly into the traveling ovens.The baking process is completed whenthe full length of the oven is traversed.If the ovens are not of this type thebread must spend a short time in a warmroom before being put into the oven. Ineither case the bread comes out bakedto just the proper shade of brown, andthe baker knows, without trying it, thateach loaf is baked just enough. Coolingand wrapping is a short time process andwhile the bread is still warm, it is gener-ally on it's way to the customers.

When cakes are being made the processis much more intricate and even moreinteresting. Especially just precedingthe holiday season a big cake bakerygreets all visitors with the appetizingodors of spices and fruits. Long after theaverage housewife accepted commerciallymade bread as an excellent thing, shecontinued to look upon bakers cakes assomething not quite first class. There wasa tradition that a woman who could bakea fine cake was near the peak of hercareer as a cook.

Eventually bakers decided that, as theycould make better and more uniformbread than could be made at home, theycould do the same thing with cake, andeducate the women of America to realizeit. The big step toward this goal wastaken when one of the country's largestbaking firms announced that only cakesmade that day were sold by it's distrib-utors. When women found that theycould get excellent cakes, and know thatthey were always fresh, they threw their

10 THE S T A L E Y J O U R N A L January 1931

Ovens Are No Small Things in These Plants

Cookies travelall the time theyarc baking.

Modern ovensgenerally are heat-ed by gas.

January 1931 THE STALEY J O U R N A L

Every Proper Cake Has An Icing

11

' —Icings arc mi.vt'd by inti-

chincry in large quantities.

12 T H E STALKY J O U R N A L January 1931

old cake pans away and used the heavybatter spoon for a garden tool.

To back up this proposal has meant theentire reorganization of cake baking on alarge scale. It meant that the firm whohad undertaken this scheme must havebakeries and distribution points in care-fully selected cities throughout the ter-ritory it was to cover. Now with theseplants installed cakes are baked freshevery night, sent out by truck, and on saleearly the next morning. All cakes left un-sold from the day before are taken backby the bakers, so that none but the freshgoods will be sold.

Like the bread bakeries these moderncake bakeries are models of neatness andefficiency. Each step is taken care of byexperts and only a few necessary pro-cesses are done by hand. Much morehand work is required in cake makingthan in break making.

Materials are purchased and go throughthe laboratory tests, just as for bread, andlater are stored and cared for in the samemanner. Like a bread bakery a cake bak-ery begins to come to life late in the after-noon when the men in the measuringrooms start work. In light, well venti-lated rooms, men in spotless whitemeasure the flour, sugar, butter, milk,eggs, spices, chocolate, nuts, and otheringredients which are to be used in thatnight's baking. Each ingredient, as it ismeasured and weighed, is put into plainlymarked container, so that the baker doesnot run the risk of mistaking soda forbaking powder, which is not an unheardof kitchen tragedy.

From this measuring room the ingred-ients go into the mixers—large containers—and the batter is mixed in almost notime by electrically operated paddles. Iffruit and nuts are to go into the batterthey are mixed thoroughly by hand be-fore being added to the mixture. Fromthe pans to the oven is a short trip, andwhen the cakes are removed from theoven the baker knows, without using theold broom-straw test, that they are donejust right.

The icing process, generally a bugbearto the amateur cake maker, is reduced toa science. Girls, trained in just the num-ber of strokes it takes to finish a cake, puton perfectly cooked icing so that it isneither too thick nor too thin, and, as itis made scientifically, they know that it

will always spread and never run. Whatmore can they ask of any icing?

Those cakes which are to be speciallydecorated go off to a department devotedto that work alone. Here a group ofartists preside with special sugars andcoloring, and amid a bewildering array ofpastry tubes and fancy moulds, turn outmaster pieces of bakers' art. As a rulethese cakes are only made for specialorders, but since the housewife can orderthem now through her corner grocer,the demand for them is increasing daily.

As in the bread bakery, the cakes arewrapped or boxed before they are quitecold, and on their way in a fleet of trucksto grocery stores throughout the ter-ritory. It is this system, which has beenso carefully and scientifically worked out,which has taken much of the drudgeryout of housework and made entertainingat home a pleasure even for the hostess.

SALESMEN HEREGeorge Radasch, our popular syrup

salesman, came down from Iowa just be-fore Christmas, bringing three of hissalesmen with him for a visit to the plant.They were E. M. Miller, from Keokuk,Harold Rigg from Hamilton, 111., and E.G. Neibel, from Fort Madison. Their timewas short but they met a number of peo-ple about the plant and offices.

George Lake and Mrs. Lake, formerlyRuth Doyle of the grain department.spent Christmas in Decatur. George sellssyrup for the company in the St. Louisterritory.

Scotsman — What wull the time be, sir?Englishman — -When ?

A Georgia statesman tells the story ofan aged Negro who saw an extraordinary-looking instrument in the shop of an op-tician. He gazed in open-mouted wonder,and, turning to the optician, inquired:

"What is it, boss?""That," replied the optician, "is an

ophthalmometer.""Sho'," muttered the other, his eyes

still fastened on the curious-looking thingon the counter, as he backed out, "sho",dat's what I was af eared it was!"

The reason a Scotch bagpiper walks upand down when playing the pipes is be-cause it is always harder to hit a movingtarget.

January 1931 T H E STALEY J O U R N A L 13

Finishing Touches Get Lots of Attention

Inspecting comesbefore any thin// issold.

14 THE STALEY J O U R N A L January 1931

Represents Company in Great Britain

W. Lincoln Darbyshirc has recently been appointed managing director of the A. E.Stalcy Mfg. Co. (London) Ltd., U'ith offices in Mincing Lane, London. Mr. Darbyshircmade a short ^'isit to the Stalcy plant last spring when lie was in Chicago to attend themeeting of International Rotary, but that was before he zvas connected with the company.

NEW CARD CASESEd Smith, Fellowship club secretary,

has a new supply of leather folders forclub membership and other identificationcards. These folders will be given to anymember of the club whose old folder isworn or lost. Call at the time office forthem.

The price some men pay for style!Some of his fr iends say that the priceTom Longbons paid for those spats hehas been wearing is more than one wouldrealize, but the deal got plenty of pub-licity.

OTTO VISITS USOtto Sutler dropped in from the New

York office for a short business visit latein December, and was welcomed by manyof his old friends. Otto grew up at theStaley plant, working in the laboratoryduring most of his high school and uni-versity days, and when he comes back tothe plant it is like a visit back home.

H. P. Dunlap took a sudden notion onemorning to have his tonsils out and with-in an hour was in the hospital. Now heis recovered, and glad that's over.

January 1931 T H E S T A L K Y J O U R N A L 15

Pack BasketsWhen a group of foremen decided to

give fruit , candy and toys to a group ofchildren who would otherwise have noChristmas, they were thinking only ofthose children. But when it came to pack-ing the baskets the men had as muchfun as the children did later on.

In the first place the foremen were notallowed to have all the fun themselves,for some of the office people heard of themovement and did their share. Then theforemen were divided into small commit-tees and sent out to homes where it wassuspected Santa Claus would not call.They got the names and ages of the chil-dren in those homes and the gifts werepurchased with this information in mind.

Tuesday before Christmas the fore-men's room looked like Santa's workshopfor there were dolls and motor cars anddishes and books and candy and frui t andnuts in orderly stacks all over the place.All morning the men worked filling thebaskets and then gave the entire after-noon to distributing them to the homes.The heartfelt thanks with which they werereceived more than repaid them for alltheir t ime and trouble.

GREETING FROM MAINEMiss R. Helen Cleland, formerly super-

intendent of the Decatur and MaconCounty hospital, has sent us her usualwelcome Christmas greeting from herhome in Derrysville, Me. She writes, "Iwant to thank you for The Staley Journalwhich I enjoy and to send the season'sgreetings to all."

During the t ime that she was superin-tendent of the hospital here Miss Clelandbecame acquainted with many Staley peo-ple and she takes this del ightful way ofremembering us all each Christmas.

CHRISTMAS PARTYGirls from the second floor offices had

their annual Christmas party the Mondaybefore Christmas. They had luncheon inthe cafeteria together, then went to TheJournal office where there was a Christ-mas tree and where gifts were exchanged.

"Amos" Wagner and "Andy" Longlook too slick for words in their stiffwh i t e coats thcv wear at noon.

Viola Goodman says—just wait unt i lnext Christmas!

When Illinois I.aundrymcn of this district met in Decatur recently they were broughtout to the Stalcy office by T. C. and B. A. Schudel. After a tour of the building the menstopped long enough to hare their pictures taken. In the group arc A. E. Anderson, Kan-kakee: Mr. Petty. Kutikakec; Guy Rice, Decatur; P. D. Rollins of the Staley company;V. A. Harris, Decatur; T. C. Schudcl, Decatur; Carl Tricbel, Peoria; Mr. Seifcrt, Kan-

kakee; G. Herman, Peoria; Mr. Gets, Springfield', II. Koppang, Peoria; Mr. Johnson,Springfield; Robert Chapman, Springfield; B. A. Schudel, Decatur; Carl Baher andGeorge Hauder, Peoria.

16 THE STALEY J O U R N A L January 1931

Two WeddingsWithin three weeks time two girls in

the New York office were married. One,Freda Seitz, now Mrs. Howard Charles,leaves New York and the Staley com-pany. The other, Louise Abel, now Mrs.A. E. Schreck, is staying with the com-pany.

Mrs. Charles has been with the com-pany for several years and her resigna-tion left a blank feeling among Staleypeople who knew her and Staley custo-mers who had come to regard her as animportant part of the organization. Shehas a wide acquaintance among Staleypeople, for not only has she met thosewho have been in New York from timeto time, but about two years ago shevisited the plant and offices in Decatur.

The newspaper accounts of the twoweddings are given below:

SCHRECK-ABELMiss Louise Abel, daughter of Mr. F.

Abel of 139-39 88th Avenue, Jamaica,Long Island, became the bride of AlbertE. Schreck, son of Mr. and Mrs. FrankSchreck, of Brooklyn. The Rev. E. J.Strassburger of the Reformed Evangeli-cal Church in Woodhaven officiated. Areception followed at the Claridge Hotelin Brooklyn.

The bride, who was given in marriageby her brother, Fred Abel, was gownedin white satin. Her veil of tulle wascaught to a cap of lace. She carriedchrysanthemums. Margaret Rickert wasmaid of honor, wearing a gown of satinshading from gold to peach color. Shewore a gold bandeau on her head. Herbouquet was of bronze color chrysanthe-mums and autumn leaves. The MissesAnn Rickert and Marion Schreck werebridesmaids. They wore peach color satindresses with silver bandeaus on theirheads, and carried salmon color chrysan-themums and autumn leaves. EdwardKing was best man and the ushers wereLawrence Spellman and Thomas Guinan.

Miss Freda Seitz, contralto, sang twosolos, "I Love You Truly," and "For YouAlone." She was gowned in light bluecrepe and wore a corsage of Talismanroses.

After a short honeymoon the youngcouple will reside at 139-39 88th Ave.,Jamaica. The bride will continue herwork in the New York office.

CHARLES-SEITZRahway, Dec. 18...In the presence of

a large gathering of relatives and friendsat the First Presbyterian Church at 5:30o'clock yesterday, Miss Freda M. Seitz,daughter of Mrs. Julia Seitz, of 146 Ham-ilton street, became the bride of HowardJ. Charles, of Waterville, Me., formerlyof this city. The ceremony was performedby Rev. Chester M. Davis and the bridewas given in marriage by her brotherThomas H. Seitz, of Newark.

The bride was dressed in beige crepe,with hat to match and wore a corsagebouquet. Mrs. Harold S. Gibbons, a sis-ter of the bride, was matron of honorand was attired in royal blue crepe, withhat to correspond and also wore a corsagebouquet. Walter H. Charles, a brotherof the bridegroom, served as best man.

Immediately after the ceremony thebridal party and immediate relatives en-joyed a dinner at the Winfield Scott Ho-tel, Elizabeth, after which Mr. and Mrs.Charles went to New York and today willgo by airplane to Boston where his autois in waiting to transport them to Water-ville, Me., where they will reside at 36Burleigh street.

Mrs. Charles has been particularly ac-tive in music circles, being contralto solo-ist in the First Presbyterian Church ofRahway. She had taken leading roles ina number of the spianic and musical pro-ductions. Mr. Charles is a member of La-fayette Lodge, No. 27, F. and A. M., La-fayette Chapter No. 26 Royal Arch Ma-sons, and Rahway Council, No. 834 RoyalArcanum. During his school days he wasa leader in athletics.

SALES PARTYGirls in the sales department had their

annual Christmas party the day beforeChristmas. A luncheon was served atnoon on the fourth floor and later thegirls had their usual Christmas tree. Thisyear the girls paid just half as much fortheir gifts as they formerly did, givingthe other half to the Community Christ-mas store.

C. M. Cobb presented gifts to his de-partment in the good old family style—stockings hung in a row in front of theradiator, as he has no fireplace in his of-fice, and the gifts were tucked into thestockings.

January 1931 THE STALEY J O U R N A L 17

Easy Money

The Credit Union is a relatively new-thing in America. It is forging aheadrapidly and occupying a conspicuousplace in public attention. Credit Unionmembers as a general rule do not knowhow Credit Unions were organized inAmerica nor why the general clearinghouse of our Credit Union activities is inthe Credit Union National ExtensionBureau of Boston. Several years ago Ed-ward A. Filene, a Boston merchant,authorized the setting up of machineryfor the promotion of Credit Union workin the United States. He has carried thiswork on as a complete disinterested pub-lic service. If Mr. Filene had been spend-ing money for libraries, hospitals, etc., orone of the many philanthropic charitiesthat men of means and money usuallyfoster, his activities would have beeneasily understood. Mr. Filene, instead ofchoosing one of these usual semi-publicinstitutions to help against its financialdistress, chose to spend it for CreditUnion extension because the CreditUnion is "the finest bit of machinery wehave yet discovered to help the averageman to be of the greatest service to him-self." Because of this fine spirit of Mr.Filene, which is ably carried on by Mr.Bergengren, we find more unselfish ser-vice than can be found elsewhere wheremembers do not receive one penny inreturn for their efforts. The reason forthis is that there is a great deal of satis-faction to officers and promoters of CreditUnion work to seek out men and womenin increasing thousands, who turn to theCredit Union for the real solution of theirproblems, vexations in the past and evenmore perplexing in the crowded present.

The Credit Union National ExtensionBureau, in order to have the individual

units of the Credit Union in a position tohelp themselves better, is now organizingState Credit Union Leagues where fiftyor more Credit Unions are chartered andactively engaged as a going concern.Many of these state groups have becomeorganized and now are in position to setup a national organization which, ofcourse, will in turn give its support to theorganization of such credit Union move-ments that will be of greatest amount ofgood to the greatest number.

The Staley Credit Union, together withthe Wabash Credit Union, St. James'Parish Credit Union, and the PostalCredit Union, all of Decatur, were earlymembers of the Illinois State League.The State League will carry on the workand program of the National ExtensionBureau.

We folks at Staley's are not chesty butmerely proud of the progress which ourCredit Union has made in the six monthsjust past. A membership of nearly sixhundred with assets of approximately$15,000, should make us all feel justlyproud of our Credit Union activities. Inthe short span of the life of this "baby"the good that has been done to thoseemployees who are earnestly and honestlyattempting to help themselves is beyondbelief. The reward of these activities isto be found in the realization of the vast,homely, and beautiful service rendered toour fellow employees—after all, isn't thatone of the riches of living!

BALANCE SHEET ENDING NOV.30, 1930

Balance Sheet Accts.

CashPersonal Loans . .SharesNotes Payable . .Entrance Fees

Debits Credits. .$ 15046. . 13,017.37

$11 239 751,500.00

138 75

Total BalanceSheets $13,167.83 $12,878.50

Profit and Loss Accts.Interest 300.26Expense 10.93

Total Profit andLoss . .$ 10.93 $ 300.26

Grand Total AllAccts $13,178.76 $13,178.76

18 THE STALEY J O U R N A L January 1931

Want To Try Writing Something?From time to time we have wondered

if there were not a number of Journalreaders who would like to write for themagazine once in a while. Recently wefound one man in the organization whowas brave enough to admit that he would,and he submitted "an effort", as he calledit. We are publishing it here, and at thesame time offering to publish other con-tributions—poems, editorials, short storiesand the like, submitted by Staley people,with a few reservations. No names willbe printed unless the Contributor desiresbut the editor must know who con-tributed. Nothing of a spiteful or slander-ous character will be published.

If you feel the urge to write, now isyour time. Send it in to The Journaloffice before the fifteenth of the month.

FATA ABSTANTTonight was Pedro's night. His heart

beat almost superficially, the lights burnedbrighter, the din of chaos outside littleperturbed the happiness that invaded hissoul that evening. Six o'clock, she wouldbe due in one and a half hours. Pedroseated himself in a rocking chair besidean old oak table with a marble top. Hefell into subtle retrospection of the lastfour years. How he had borrowed threehundred dollars to come to America. Howhe had struggled to maintain himself thatfirst winter. How he had worked fromnothing up to the proud possessor of agarage. Small, true, but it showed ad-vancement. How he saved every cent hecould hoping some day to bring his wifeto America. Tonight was his night, fortonight Nina would arrive in New York.She would feel the thrill that he had felt.The magnitude of the huge metropoliswould swell her soul in inexplicable re-tiscence. Twould be like dying then step-ping into another world. Oh, he knewhow she would feel. He remembered ex-actly the awe that smote him into a mes-meric void. How happy she would be.

Ah, yes, six thirty, Pedro must hurry.His heart gay, singing an old folk songhis father's father had sung to some dark-eyed signorina, he changed into his bestsilk polka dot shirt. His face fairly beamedfrom a shave that had followed only afew moments before.

"That hair, she no stay down. Tra-la-

la-la. Go to sleep bambino mine," ishardly indicative of the happy haste thatfilled Pedro's heart that November eve.No time to carefully straighten his tie.Oh how happy he was tonight. The com-ing of Nina would crown the little successhe had built up. The struggle, the fightwith the tremendous economic pressureof millions in that big city, millions inthe same predicament vainly striving tokeep their heads above water, their bodiesfed and clothed, and he, Pedro Gigliomi,had succeeded in rising a notch up thescale. Business was good, yes, in twomore years he would have a larger garage.It would accommodate three hundredcars. Yes, fortune had more than smileddown upon good Pedro.

"Ten minutes! I will just call a cab!I am late, Dios," exclaimed Pedro. Inhis happy exultation, the moments hadflown by. "The cab, now is the house allright. Chiki, you be a good kitty whileI am gone, and soon I bring you a mis-tress you love much as I," called outPedro as he closed the door, his coat trail-ing him on the hall floor.

"Hurry, hurry signor, I am late, severalminutes late. A dollar more if you speed,but hurry, hurry," cried Pedro, anxiousnow, for he realized that in his joyousintrospections he had forgotten time withall his other cares. On, on they sped.Down 7th street, up to 42nd, then towardthe docks. Nina would arrive at pier 6,Hoboken.

At 68th street the cab undoubtedly struckan object, but Pedro encouraged thedriver to carry on, to make more haste.At last they arrived at the appointeddocks, only to find that the boat hadlanded some forty minutes before. VainlyPedro searched in frenzy for the onlyperson that had ever brought real happi-ness into his life. Ten o'clock, and hehad covered every police station, hospital,and night court in that section of NewYork near the docks. Distressed, worn,and with nearly a broken heart he re-turned to the cab. "She is no here,"pathetically he whispered to the driver.

They turned back toward their originaldestination, and upon nearing 65th street,the cab driver recalled one more policestation they had missed. Wildly grasp-ing the last hope in an effort to locate the

January 1931 T H E S T A L K Y J O U R N A L 19

precious Nina, Pedro directed the driverto this last resort.

"Signer policeman, have you seen aleetle woman, oh so high, black hair, so,she just come from Eetaly, she is lost,she ask for Pedro-" exclaimed Pedro tothe night man on duty at the station inalmost frantic appeal.

"Sorry, pal, no woman of that descrip-tion has come in here," retorted thepoliceman, and as he apparently began toorganize his thought, he added as anafterthought, "but some rat hit a womanat 68th street, ya might taka look overthere. She is at the Emergency Hospitalat 69th."

"No, no, not my Nina. Hurry, hurry,we must make sure," said Pedro, andagain they were on their way to theHospital.

"Yes, a patient was just brought inabout two hours ago, struck by what wasthought to be a cab at 68th street," ex-plained the night attendant, as Pedropushed his way through the door. "Comewith me, and you may see if you canidentify her."

Wearily, Pedro followed the atendantto the second floor for emergency opera-tion. He walked into room 213. All wasuncanny. No noise, no hubdrub from thestreets. The room seemed filled with adivine stillness. From under a little heapof white sheets came a faint cry, "Pedro,Pedro, why you no here."

"Dios, Dios," cried Pedro, "my Nina."Quietly the attendant left the room. A

faint odor of disinfectant pervaded thestillness of the air. A muffled sobbingcame from within the room.

As the attendant was leaving the roomthe cab driver met him at the door.

"She ain't hurt bad, is she?" inter-rogated the cab driver uneasily.

"She won't live the hour through,"answered the attendant. "A terrible scare,along with a broken back, and internalinjuries. I can't understand how she livedthis long. All she kept saying was "Pedro,Pedro, come before I leave you!"

"My God," said the cab driver.—M. E. B.

Dresses Up!

Young Billy Pattersonlikes to dress up, thenhave his picture takenand send it to his grand-father, Claude Fletcher.And of course, Grand-father is delighted to getthem. Billy is six yearsold and is doing a lot ofstage dancing. He is theson of Mr. and Mrs. Ar-thur Patterson, of In-dianapolis.

ADDED ATTRACTIONAlthough no such acts were advertised

an extra attraction at a recent basketballgame was a tumbling act staged by Eliz-abeth Heer. Elizabeth had not intendedto put on this stunt at this time, she in-sists, but it was a hit just the same, inmore ways than one. Elizabeth probablyrealized more than anyone else just howstrong a hit it was.

Jim Highly finally found his way intoThe Journal office just before Christmasand made us a short, but welcome visit.

C. E. Goodman, night watchman, wasill for a week in December.

Henry Schultz of the print shop cele-brated his 21st birthday the 14th of thismonth. Henry anticipates the next elec-tion day to be numbered with the voters,but he has not revealed his politics. It isvery painful to Henry to be reminded thathe is now a tax payer.

20 T H E S T A L E Y J O U R N A L January 1931

FAREWELL PARTYThe Industrial department gave a din-

ner for Mr. and Mrs. Karl Pansch Satur-day night, Dec. 6. This was a farewellparty for Mr. and Mrs. Pansch who willleave early in January for their home inDanzig. Mr. Pansch has been with theStaley company ever since he came tothe United States two years ago, doingsu.ne special studying in industrial work.

The dinner was given at Greider's, andlater the whole party went to the homeof Mr. and Mrs. W. L. Davis, wherebridge was played. Mrs. Pansch was pre-sented with a corsage bouquet of roses.

We have often wondered why Ray S.Bass was so careful, in signing his name,to get the middle initial in. Now we know—he was named for a famous Baptistminister, and wishes to retain at least thathold on piety.

Claude Fletcher, machinist foreman,spent Christmas in Indianapolis with hisdaughter's family.

Know ivho the head of this family is?Guess a while and see how near you cometo the right answer, then call C. M. Cobband see if you are right.

The Poet ProtestsDecember 17, 1930.

Mr. Andrew J. Percival, Esquire,Industrial DepartmentA. E. Staley Mfg. Company.My dear Mr. Percival:

I wish to enter a protest against mybeing placed in Class "B" in my recentexamination. It is my belief that I shouldhave been rated "A-plus." In support ofthis contention I am giving the followingreasons:

It is very evident that the examiningphysician considered me a wonderfulspecimen of physical manhood—his ad-miration he did not attempt to conceal.

A recent loss of appetite has been en-tirely corrected by eating yeast. I amnow ready, willing and able to eat anddigest any portion of a certain fur-bear-ing animal, indigenous to these parts, thatcarries his tail high in the air.

My eye-sight is perfect. I can distin-guish between a man and a woman cor-nerwise across a forty. Even better yet,I can tell a Republican from a Democrata darn sight farther.

My political affiliations have alwaysmade for clear Conscience, which has re-sulted in a calm, contented mental atti-tude.

My card mentions as a correctable de-fect as being slightly overweight. Thisshould not be held against me at all. Na-ture has so endowed me with a greatmanufacturing system that readily accu-mulates an excess adipose tissue whichmerely indicates the excellent assimulat-ing qualities and great digestive power.Jersey County, Illinois, the home of Na-ture's noblemen, has always been notedfor its full-chested and red-blooded men(naturally, you will suppose that I camefrom Jersey County, which is entirely cor-rect). The fact that we differ politicallyshould not be the cause of discriminat-ing against me.

I believe that after you have given thismatter deep thought you will agree thatI should be rated "A-plus," instead of"B" on my physical examination.

Thanking you in advance for such at-tention as you may be able to give thismatter, I am, with sentiments of respect,

Very truly yours,L. B. Humiston.

January 1931 T H E S T A L E Y J O U R N A L 21

Soccer InterestsSince its organization late in Septem-

ber the Staley Soccer club has playedfive games. Considering the fact thatpractically all of the men were new tothe game, the record of three lost, onewon and one tied is good. The first threegames played were with the DecaturSoccer Club teams, and were lost. Laterthe Staley team defeated the DecaturClub's second team. The tied game wasplayed with the Century Wallpaper team.

Karl Pansch, who sponsored the gameat the plant, is returning to his home inGermany in a few weeks, but it is hisearnest hope that the interest in the gamewill continue to grow. The men on theregular squad are Ed Smith, JohnDworak, John Butler, Ira Cox, GlennTrent, Erwin Cox, Jim Carter, CarlSheets, Karl Pansch, Charles Butler,George Hewitt, Clyde Smith, Jim Math-ews and R. Mathews.

HAS A HAT-

DRAMATIC ART CLUBThe Dramatic Art club of Roosevelt

Junior High entertained for the memberswho are entering Senior High next semes-ter, Friday, Dec. 19. The party was givenin the Staley club house. Richard File isa member of the club.

Up in the grain department they havea new slogan—Let the gold dust twinsdo the work—the twins being Maxine andLois.

-•MYSTIKUM PARTY

Members of the Mystikum club hadtheir annual Christmas party in the Staleyclub house Monday, Dec. 22. The partywas a dinner, with cards later. KathrynSheehy is a member.

Frances Muller is the latest addition tothe New York office force. She joined thestaff when Freda Seitz deserted us formatrimony.

*Charley Baker has showed special tal-

ent as a guide under certain trying cir-cumstances. For that reason he is oftencalled on.

Says Red Thornborough to Bill Morri-son who really did need a shave: "WellBill, where have you been since you leftthe barber shop?"

At first we thought Paul Heffernan wasall dressed up for a party when he appearedwearing this hat, but it seems that he wasjust wearing it because the weather wascolder and he was tired of going bareheaded. Paul is the binding tie between theoffice and the plant—the messenger whomakes many trips between the two placeseach day.

DO YOU KNOW?We wonderWhy Bart Wilson wore golf socks to

work in December?Why Mary Doran wanted the after-

noon off after the Christmas party?Why Carl Waltens shaved his mous-

tache?Where Ray Bass gets the stories he

tells?Why Luther Humiston wrote his last

masterpiece in prose?When Elizabeth Heer is going to march

up to the altar?If Albert Hoffman ever talked out

loud?

Some of Phil Wills friends figure thathe must have been 18 years old when hewrote that letter to Santa Claus twenty-five years ago.

Robert Blakeney came home from theUniversity of Illinois to pass the holidayswith his parents, Mr. and Mrs. A. F.Blakeney.

22 THE STALEY J O U R N A L January 1931

SEEN IN THE PAPER JOHN'S GIRLS

Some Leters to Santa Claus from theHerald of 25 Yeards Ago

Dear Santa Claus: Please bring me ahobby horse, a horn, a drum, and a pairof skates. I have been a good boy allyear and I think you can bring me thesethings. Good-bye Santa, from your friend,Phil Wills.

P. S.—Be sure and bring plenty goodthings to eat.

*.Master Roy Ives gave a party for a

number of his little friends in honor ofhis birthday.

PAINFUL INJURIEST. C. Burwell, traffic manager, suffered

a number of painful bruises in addition toa broken arm when he fell down thebasement stairs at his home recently. Hewas unable to be in the office for sometime after his fall.

Carl Waltens looks real cute with thatnew moustache.

These cousins are aboits the same ageand stick friends that they are only happywhen they can be together. The young ladyin the case is Phyllis Ann Bridgnvater,ivhose father, Russell Bridgcwater, workson the pipe gang. Her cousin is EugeneWilliam Broadbear, son of Heinie Broad-bear, electrician foreman. Phyllis Ann istwo years old_ and young Gene is seventeenmonths. Their mothers are sisters.

"Speaking of children, I have a coupleof daughters"—says John Kuhns. And tosurprise John, electrical engineer at theplant, we are using these pictures now. Thebig girl is Dorothy Jane, quite a younglady. Joan, the baby is just reaching theage when the two of them are interestedin the same things. The other member ofthe family, Jack, didn't get in on the pic-ture taking this time.

GRAIN DEPT. PARTYThe annual Christmas luncheon of the

grain department was held the Tuesdaybefore Christmas on the seventh floor. Amost elaborate pot luck luncheon wasserved, and later gifts were exchanged.

Bessie Neyhardt does not swear (outloud) so everything was quiet in Hill'swhen she made that beautiful strike—andwas fouled because she fell over the line.

Bob Urfer's excuse for moving ratherstiffly is that he has been varnishing floorsat home and got varnish on his knees,so they don't work so smoothly.

E. L. Smith, elevator man in the re-finery, has been ill for about three weeks.

January 1931 T H E S T A L K Y J O U R N A L 23

Ten Years Ago(These items appeared in The Staley

Journal for January, 1921.)The city of Decatur had decided to

build a dam to supply a greater watersupply and the work of clearing the riverbottoms had just started. The Staley com-pany was vitally interested because of theincreasing amount of water it was requir-ing.

A large number of football fans wentto Chicago to see the Staley team playthe Akron Indians for the national cham-pionship. The Indians held the easterntitle. The Chicago game was a tie. WindyLotshaw, Staley trainer, was given muchof the credit for the successful seasonbecause he had kept the men in such per-fect condition.

Staley men attending the Central In-dustrial Baseball Association meeting atthe Sherman hotel in Chicago were A. E.Staley, G. E. Chamberlain, Joe McGin-nity and Morgan O'Brien.

The Staley bowling team, the G. E. C.'s,were leading the Decatur Bowling leaguewith a record of 25 games won and 11lost. The men on the team were W. Witt,W. Maleska, C. Dressen, J. Mintun andA. Bray.

A son was born to Mr. and Mrs. Wil-liam Ooton.

Glen Frede, of Stewardson, had joinedthe syrup sales office force.

Avory McGlade wrote to his Staleyfriends from Panama, where he wasworking.

Buck Sherer was being accused of cut-ting out all dates unt i l after the holidaysso he wouldn't have to buy any girlsChristmas presents.

Eleanor Lacy and Crystal Fall createda lot of excitement when a mouse droppedout of Miss Lacy's collar on the street

WINS COLLEGE HONORSGladys Gallagher was one of the few

students awarded the Kappa Key at theannual Kappa day ceremonies in JamesMillikin university in December. Gladysis the daughter of C. W. Gallagher, of No.10 building, and has won a number ofhonors during her school career. TheKappa Key is awarded only to the highesthonor students in Mil l ik in .

Gladys is majoring in biology and plansto continue her work at the Universityafter she finishes at M i l l i k i n .

W. C. Pollard was advertising a "fourwheeled" Ford for sale.

Billy Eichenauer, otherwise WilliamThomas, is quite the idol of his grand-parents, Mr. and Mrs. Frank Rucker. Hewas baptized in the Westminster Presby-terian church just before Christmas. He isthe son of Mr. and Mrs. Harold Eich~cnauer.

24 T H E STALEY J O U R N A L January 1931

These Babies Are Cousins

Carroll Cowger posed with his youngson, as the baby was too young to sit upalone. Mrs. Coivger was formerly EloiseHansen and is the daughter of AdolphHansen, millwright. She formerly workedin the print shop at the plant. Her youngson has been named Eugene. Mr. Cowgeris with Cash Co.

CLUB DINNERMembers of the Atwood Social club and

their families had a Christmas party in theStaley club house Dec. 17. Dinner wasfollowed by a social evening.

»C. M. Cobb and Bud Bresnan of the

purchasing department have decided,since a recent incident, that they will en-courage lady visitors to the office. Onegroup of visitors whom they showedthrough the building recently, later sentthem some home-made candy, which theyvery politely shared with their neighbors.

*•Robert Siweck had tooth troubles all

his own in December and had to take afew days off from duty in the mailing

James Walter Hansen sat up all alone,when he had this picture taken to surprisehis father, Walter Hansen at Christmas.The father, Walter, and the grandfather,Adolph, both work in the millwright shop.

DON GOES TO CHURCHIt took a special ceremony to get Don

Hansen out to church two weeks beforeChristmas, but he got there. The occasionwas the baptism in the Westminster Pres-byterian church of his two nephews. In-cidently the rest of the family, includingthe heads of the house, Mr. and Mrs.Adolph Hansen, were there but that wasnot so unusual.

The babies in question were the sons ofMr. and Mrs. Walter Hansen and Mr.and Mrs. Claire Cowger. Mrs. Cowgerformerly Eloise Hansen.

Doug Williams is thinking of fixing upthe old reclamation office so that it willbe a more fitting place for the lady callerswhom some of his friends insist uponbringing down.

•Kenneth Bauman is the new office boy

in charge of Mr. Galloway's plant of-fice. He was graduated from DecaturHigh school last June.

Minnie Lungsford, of the insurance of-fice, was ill at Christmas time.

For several days we thought Ed Smithhad lost his razor and then we discoveredthat he was raising a moustache. It's red,too.

January 1931 THE S T A L E Y J O U R N A L 25

ALMOST TWINS BROTHER AND SISTER

Moris Glide Lee seems to be taken frettyqood care of his small sister, Arlene. He isfour and Arlene is still a baby of two.They are the children of Mr. and Mrs.Miles Lee.

DINNER AND CARDSMrs. L. L. Smith entertained a club to

which she belongs at a turkey dinner andcard party in the Staley club house, Dec.16.

Walt Morenz thinks that somebodyframed on him. He borrowed a pair ofbasketball shoes and he says he is surethey had a layer of cement on the soles.Anyway they were so heavy he couldn'tplay in them.

Fred Klumpp and Red Thornboroughdrove down to Jacksonville early in De-cember and spent Sunday with JohnKlumpp and family. They came backwith a good story about Rex, who wentduck hunting, but his boat was upset andhe lost all his equipment and his ducks.

Marjorie Robb motored to Indianapoliswith friends for the Thanksgiving weekend.

Baldy and the nurse (Mr. and Mrs.C. A. May, in other words) went to As-sumption to spend Christmas with theirnieces and nephews.

Lost — One rubber mouse. Will finderplease return to poor heart-broken BudBresnan in the purchasing office.

Omer Brant, tinner, has every reason tobe proud of these two^ fine youngsters ofhis. Clayton Alfred is just fourteen monthsold, but Ovela May is ten years.

HERE FROM CALIFORNIAHarry Reavis, our Pacific Coast repre-

sentative, and Mrs. Reavis, came to De-catur for the Christmas holidays, makinga combination business and pleasure trip.They drove through from the coast.While they were in Decatur a number ofparties were given for Mrs. Reavis.

The Galloway house was fu l l during theholidays for James and George both camehome from the University of Illinois forthe vacation.

After the epidemic of electric clockswhich broke out among Staley people atChristmas time, the only excuse most ofthem can have for being late will be thatthe city current was shut off.

Puss Williams, of the laboratory, wasill in December.

Charley Long wasbefore Christmas.

for a few days

26 ' I ' 1 1 ic S T A L K Y J O U R N A L January 1931

RAY'S CHILDREN

Ray S. Rass, assistant auditor, and Mrs.Bass, have a houseful ivith these three chil-dren. Kay Junior is eleven and Williamll'ilberforce is etc/lit. Suzanne, the baby ofthe family, and quite the family pet, is nutQuite two years.

EDDIE LIKES CANDYEddie Lonergan says that he bought

two boxes of candy, not because he hastwo girls, but because he likes candy sowell. He ate one box and took the otherwhen he called on "a friend". Someonesuggested that he probably stayed thereunti l he had helped eat all the candy inthat box, too.

Claude Fletcher insists that his bloodpressure went up to 250 the day thestudent nurse took it.

In the absence of Ellen Johnson, whois ill, Thclma Wright Wilson is workingin the mail ing room again.

Edna Schwalbe has recently been addedto the forces in R. O. Augur's depart-ment.

Rollin Staley, who is traveling for thecompany in the Texas territory, came toDecatur to pass Christmas.

E. C. Larson, chief engineer, and hisfamily drove to Chicago to spend Christ-

MRS. W. E. WELCHMrs. W. E. Welch died unexpectedly

Dec. 2 in her home three miles east ofDecatur. Death was due to heart diseaseof which she had suffered several years.To some extent she had been under thecare of a physician but was able to getabout most of the time. That night shehad been in the city to visit her sister,Mrs. J. L. Welch, and soon after return-ing home suffered a faint ing spell anddied before a physician could reach her.

Mrs. Welch was born Aug. 27, 1884,in Gentry county, Mo.; she was marriedto W. E. Welch Nov. 8, 1905. They hadlived in Decatur since 1917. She leavesher husband and her sons Wayne, Grover,Archie and Clarence. Also her mother,Mrs. Martha Cox, her sister, Mrs. J. L.Welch, and her brother, A. V. Cox, all ofDecatur. She was a member of East ParkBaptist church. Mr. Welch works on theelectrical gang at the plant.

FORMER EMPLOYEE DIESH. A Goreham died in his home in

Vernon 111., Nov. 19. Until twelve yearsago he worked in the feed house at theplant and was well known to many Staleypeople. Mr. and Mrs. M. G. Logan at-tended the funeral. Mrs. Goreham is acousin of Mrs. Logan.

MRS. LIEBE DIESMrs. Edward Liebe died unexpectedly

in her home in Atlantic City, Nov. 23.Mr. Liebe is president of J. H. HustonCo., brokers, in Philadelphia, and both heand his wife have many friends in theStaley organization.

FATHER DIESFrank Knowlton's Christmas vacation

was saddened by the death of his fatherin Newton Center, Mass., Dec. 23. Mr.and Mrs. Frank Knowlton had gone eastto pass the holidays and it was after theyarrived there that his father died sud-denly.

Eleanor Miller, purchasing office, wentto her home in Ramsey for Christmas.

Rudolph Hess, of the garage, has beenill with scarlet fever.

Joe McGlade, of the mill house, had histonsils out early in December.

January 1931 T H E S T A L K Y J O U R N A L 27

CARTOONIST RECOVERINGAfter an operation for goiter our car-

toonist, W. R. Van Hook, is now re-covering and probably will be back athis desk in the store room in a shorttime. In the meanwhile we are givinghim a vacation from Journal cartoons—but keep your ideas in mind. When hecomes back he will get out the old draw-ing board again.

*Bessie Case, the lady boss of our var-

ious dining rooms, waited until she hadbeen shopping and had an armful ofbundles before she fell down on the street.She admits that she hasn't found some ofher parcels yet. We gather that shedidn't spend much time looking for themafter she got up.

Sidney Ray, of the packing house, isback to work again after a long illness.He was in the hospital for some time.

SOME CARL. M. Banning has talked a lot about

his good car, but the other night some ofhis friends found that it was like anyother automobile. He ran out of gasthree blocks from a filling station and thecar stopped, like any ordinary car, refus-ing to run on it's reputation alone.

When Bob Urfer admired LisleBrown's well known gray jacket, Browniewas so pleased that he all but took it offand gave it to him. He said he had wornit three years and that was the first timehe had heard anything good said about it.

Javais tempted with the mistletoe justonce too often. They say she evenblushed.

Lucile May said that all she wanted forChristmas was plenty of food.

.

A. /•'. Hlakcney, electrician, slums t/iis photograph icilh much f'idc, and no one canblame him. It is his thnii/htcr, Mrs. S. I. Harrison, of Auburn, N. Y., and her three chil-dren, Blake's only grandchildren. The children are Lawrence, 12, and Suzanne, 8.

28 T H E STALEY J O U R N A L January 1931

BETTER EVERY DAY

Our nurse, Mrs. May, says that one ofthe high spots in her day now are thevisits from Francis Wilson and JimmyBean. Both are showing marked improve-ment from the injuries received in Sep-tember and both are in such high spiritsthat Mrs. May looks forward to theirmorning calls. Incidentally they hold asmall court each day when they come tothe hospital for their treatments.

Vivian Pierce says she knows there isno justice but she wonders why. Hereshe fooled around during league playnever making over 100 and later the samenight, in a practice game, rolled 201.

TERRIBLE EPIDEMICSweeping slowly but steadily over the

auditing department is a terrible epidemicof spats. It has even crept into someother departments but is not serious any-where else yet. Tom Longbons is creditedwith starting the trouble, appearing at theoffice one day all dressed up in a pair oflight cloth spats. A few days later FrankCollins, after watching Tom every timehe moved, decided he wanted some, andhe was the next one to appear. But nonecreated the excitement that Tom Hilde-brand did when he came in wearing theankle warmers. For, of course, Tom be-ing Tom, he would insist that he wearsthem for warmth only.

Dancing is a side line zvitli Murl Shull, of starch shipping, but he is good at that.With him are Eutana Wolcott and Joe Vigneri, with whom he often appears at entertain-ments in Decatur.

January 1931 T H E STALEY J O U R N A L 29

BASKETBALL SCHEDULE

MONDAY, JAN. 5Century vs. Mueller.Staley vs. I. T. S.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 7Biflex vs. Cash.M. V. S. S. vs. Wabash Blues.

MONDAY, JAN. 12Staley vs. Mueller.M. V. S. S. vs. Cash.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 14Century vs. Biflex.I. T. S. vs. Wabash Blues.

MONDAY, JAN. 19I. T. S. vs. Cash.Staley vs. Biflex.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 21M. V. S. S. vs. Century.Wabash Blues vs. Mueller.

MONDAY, JAN. 26Staley vs. Cash.Mueller vs. M. V. S. S.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 28Wabash Blues vs. Century.I. T. S. vs. Biflex.

With the basketball season more thanhalf over the Staley team is leading inthe Industrial League race again. Staley'shave won all 8 of the games played thisseason, while the next highest team, theWabash, has won 5 and lost 2.

Outside the league the team has playedtwo games, coming out of one defeatedand out of the other winner. In a gamewith an independent group from Van-dalia Staley's lost by 28 to 25. Later inthe month the Staley team defeated astrong Chicago team 28 to 24.

This latter game on Dec. 20 was playedwith the Junior Traffic Club team of Chi-cago, in Decatur. Both Coach Robertsand Captain Nuehs expressed great satis-faction at the outcome of this game be-cause of the type of team sent down fromChicago. Made up of well known basket-ball stars, this team was no easy foe forthe Decatur boys.

Staley players and fans, of which thereare of the latter a great number, wereanxious for this game but because of theexpense involved felt that it could not be

carried through. Mr. Staley, Jr., offeredto sponsor it, making it possible for thefans to see, without expense, one of thebest basketball games which has beenplayed in Industrial League circles in De-catur. Both the players and the fans ap-preciated this opportunity. The fans weredelighted to see such an excellent game,and the players were particularly pleasedto meet, and incidently defeat, men ofsuch reputation.

When Doc West asked his four yearold son Bob what he wanted for Christ-mas, young Bob replied, "I've written toSanta Claus. There's the letter. You canread it."

Faye Brausen is not superstitious but asshe wis to bowl that evening she woreher smock all day so no one could dis-cover that she was wearing a charm forgood luck. There is an old saying that ifyou put your dress on wrong side out itis bad luck to change it. Moral—look forFay's score and see if it worked.

Esther Moody, of the auditing depart-ment, spent Christmas with relatives inher old home near Jacksonville.

•They say that Cupid strikes the match

That sets the world aglow;But where does Cupid strike the match?

That's what we'd like to know.•

"Fill her up," said the absent-mindedmotorist to the waiter, as he parked him-self in the restaurant with his sweetie.

Red Smith, ivhose real name is Claude,is playing football on a winning team atAppalachian State college, in North Caro-lina this winter. Out of twelve gamesplayed this winter they lost ow and tiedone. Red formerly played on Decatur Highteam, and in between times has worked atthe plant with his father and brothers.

30 T H E STALEY J O U R N A L January 1931

BIRTHS

Born—To Mr. and Mrs. Frank Allen,2226 East Giles street, Dec. 21, a son.Mr. Allen works in the machine shop.The baby is also the first grandchild ofClaude Thornborough, foreman of theboiler house.

Born—To Mr. and Mrs. Ira Cox, Nov.27, a son. Mr. Cox works in 17 buildingoffice.

Born—To Mr. and Mrs. VernelleMarch, Dec. 10, in Decatur and MaconCounty hospital, a daughter. She hasbeen named Sally Ann. Bus, the father,works in the traffic department.

Born—To Mr. and Mrs. M. B. Jones,2020 East Prairie St., Dec. 18, a daughter.Mr. Jones is telegraph operator at theplant. This is their fourth daughter.

Born—To Mr. and Mrs. Bernard Walk-er, Dec. 25, in St. Mary's Hospital, adaughter. Mr. Walker works in the aud-iting department.

The young doctor sat wearily down inhis easy chair, and asked his wife affec-tionately: "Has my darling been lonely?"

"Oh, no!" she said, "at least, not very.I've found something to do with mytime."

"Oh!" he said, "what is it?""I'm organizing a class. A lot of

women are in it, and we're teaching eachother to cook."

"What do you do with the things youcook?"

"We send them to the neighbors.""Dear little woman," he said, kissing

her, "always thinking of your husband'spractice."

CARD OF THANKS

We wish to thank the Staley Fellow-ship club and the men throughout theplant, for the flowers sent and kindnessshown us during our recent sorrow.

William Welch and family.

I wish to thank the Fellowship clubfor the flowers sent me during my illness.

We wish to thank the Fellowship clubfor the kind expressions of sympathy atthe time of the death of our sister.

Arthur Burcham.Ketchel Allison.

Acknowledging with grateful appreci-ation your kind and thoughtful expres-sions of sympathy.

Mrs. Fred Salogga and children.Mrs. and Mrs. John Tanzyus

and family.Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Salogga.Mr. and Mrs. Albert Salogga.Mr. and Mrs. August F. Hen-

drian.

We wish to thank the Fellowship clubfor the beautiful flowers sent us duringour recent bereavement.

Mrs. John Joynt.Mrs. Roy Cawthon.

We wish to express our deepest thanksto the Staley Fellowship club and themachine shops for the flowers and expres-sions of sympathy at the time of the deathof our mother. Funeral services were inDanville, Nov. 24, with burial in Mt.Pisgia cemetery.

Mr. and Mrs. William Gillespie.

I wish to thank the Fellowship club forthe flowers sent me while I was ill.

Dorothy Dayton.

I wish to thank the Staley Fellowshipclub for the kindness to me and the beau-t i fu l flowers sent at the hospital, andfor the many visits I received while I wasill. Sidney Ray.

•Fair One—(at a dance)—You're from

the far north, aren't you?He—Why, no. What made you think

so?She—You dance like you had snow

shoes on.

January 1931 T H E S T A L K Y J O U R N A L 31

Lyceum EntertainmentsJan. 13—Ball Company.Jan. 26—"Perfect Alibi."

Two exceptionally good entertainmentsare scheduled on the Fellowship clubcourse for January. They are a musicalprogram on Tuesday, Jan. 13, and a playon Monday, Jan. 26.

The musical program is given by AlvaBall and company and is different frommost of those offered, for Miss Ball her-self does much of the entertaining. Sheis a most versatile artist, who sings,plays the banjo and guitar, piano and har-monica and accordian, sings, whistles andgives readings and impersonations. Herassistant plays the violin and piano andsings. Between them they offer a pro-gram which is interesting to all.

The play which conies later in themonth is one which made a big hit duringits run in New York. "The Perfect Alibi"is called a detective comedy. It is reallynot a mystery to the audience, who arelet into the secret from the start, but thefun comes in watching', the characterssolve the thing.

Both of these entertainments will begiven in the High school auditorium andboth will begin at 8 o'clock. Admission,as usual, will be free to all Fellowshipclub members and their families.

*Rubymae Kiely said she never realized

how popular she was unti l she had herpicture taken in the now-famous bowlinggroup. After one person saw it, they allwanted to see it, but she found later thatshe was sharing honors with BerniceMartin.

Mary Doran has been a long time get-ting started on her football career butwhen she did start she went in for bigtime stuff. She was lucky enough to getto the Northwestern-Notre Dame game—and was she thrilled!

•A couple of nit-wits were scrubbing up

the asylum floor."Why do you write to your girl on

post cards?" suggested one coyly."Because," blarneyed the other Hotten-

tot, "I don't care two cents for her."—•Cornell Widow.

•Referee (excitedly)—Hi, that's the bell

for the eleventh round.Boxer—Oh, let's sit this one out!

Might this iwi.v, ladies and gentlemen.Step right uf and have your future read inthe crystal. Princess All Bendo, world fa-mous crystal gazer will tell you your past,present and future. She may be right, shemay be wrong, but at any rate she will beinteresting. The Princess is well knownfor her good line, she never lacks for sonic-thing to say, and there have been timeswhen she has hit upon the truth.

32 THE STALEY J O U R N A L

Staley Girl's Bowling League

January 1931

Left —Jacks, Walker, Doran, Long-bans, Cochran, Cable.

— Qticcns, Harder, Hincs,Braitscn, Martin, Neyhardt.

Left—Aces, Hcbcrt, Shechy, PierceHeffcrnan, Bon.

Right—Kings, Kiely, Payne. Cade,Ball, Smith, Robb.

January 1931 THE STALEY J O U R N A L 33

Strikes, Splits and SparesBefore we have anything to say about

Bowling, I wish to make at this time anhonest confession that I was dog on ourteam on November 26th.

However, during the evening BaldyMays was shooting one of the best seriesof games that he has had so far thisyear, with a score of 632; also Keith Tal-bott of the Sales Department Team wasgetting his share of wood, with a niceseries of 607.

Captain Putter Lents of the Tinnerswas also getting some wood that evening,having registered 581 pins with a highgame of 221.

Al Crabb having been out practicallyall of the season due to sickness, has notjust hit his last year's stride, but we arebetting that Al will be way up in theHigh Ten before the season is over.

The Electricians on November 26th lost2 games to the Garage, but since thenthey have won the last 12 games theyhave played, and you will notice by theStanding of the Team that this winningstreak has helped them considerable.

Smitty of the Mechanics had his highseries of the season on Dec. 3rd, getting617 pins with a high game of 226, whichalso helped his Team to win 2 games fromthe Traffic Department.

On Dec. 3rd Talbott of the Sales De-partment team had 677 pins for secondhigh series of the season with a highgame of 246.

Oscar Knoble of the Starch Shippingalso on December 3rd had a good seriesof 596 with two 200 games, but this wasnot quite enough to offset the 677 ofKeith Talbott.

Hank Potrafka of the Executives onDecember 10th rolled into first place ofthe Indivindual Games with a score of267.

Pete Rostek seems to have come intohis own by the way he was cracking thepins on Dec. 10th, getting a 606 serieswith a high game of 232.

Al Lukey of the Elevator team rolledhis best series of the year with a totalof 639 with 225 for high game.

Bus March of the Electricians on Dec.17th should have had three 200 gamesbut Fate was against him, having two 199games and one 221 for his best series of619.

Bill Bishop on the Garage team rolled221-203-179 for a total of 603, which isBill's best series for the year.

It seerns as though the Hot Shot of theyear so far is Buster VVoodworth; for thelast 5 or 6 series he has rolled such seriesas follows: 533, 672, 619, 704 and 676,which I believe will be in the neighbor-hood of a 214 average; this I believe is thereason why Buster is leading the league inthe individual average. However, his teamis sure giving him wonderful support, ason the night of December 17th they hadgames of 919, 1070, and 954, for a totalof 2943, which is High Game and HighSeries.

Wish to take this opportunity of ex-pressing Best Wishes for your Happinessat Christmas and that you may be ableto get lots more wood next year!

Jack Mintun, President.Eddie Larrick, Secretary.

Big Game ScheduledThe following letter was recently sent

to the research laboratory by the processchemists:

Dr. Greenfield:ATTENTION, BOWLERS(?)

We, the undersigned bowlers of theProcess Laboratory, challenge the bowl-ers (?) of the Research Laboratory to athree game series to be held in the nearfuture. Place, time, line-up and trophy (ifany) to be arranged between a captainthe Research Laboratory bowlers (?)will choose and Mr. Brown, captain ofthe Process Laboratory team.

L. Brown,J. Lappen,C. Smith,S. Bowman,W. Stewart.

At the same time Howard File, chiefchemist, was notified that he was beinggiven the honor of donating the trophyfor the winning team.

The research men who will, more thanlikely, make up the team to meet thecocky process men, are Bill Bishop, Har-old Baker, John MacDonald, Milton Wil-liams and Neil Young. Tickets for thecontest probably will sell at a premium.

34 T H E S T A L E Y J O U R N A L January 1931

JUNIOR LEAGUE STUFFBy Kay Himself

There is just one thing lacking to makeClaude Fletcher a top-notcher — goodscores. He has the shoes and the inclin-ation, and someday, we think, he will beup among the big boys.

If sticking to it gets a fellow anywhere,Howard Winings will be rolling a perfectgame by the end of the season. Just nowbowling is the important thing in his lifeand his game shows his devotion.

Lou Hoerr is showing as much skill inbowling as he does in basketball, whichis saying something.

Earl Stimmel just walks right up andslams down at the old pins and theytumble.

Much to his own surprise Eddie Yoc-kum was almost dogged one night re-cently.

Bill Pollock never played this game be-fore but he feels that a captain shouldmake good, and he certainly is doing it.

Spud Moran and Pete Wylie both havethe same idea—if you talk loudly enoughpeople will be so busy listening to youthey will forget to watch you bowl.

Eli Lents evidently has been taking les-sons from his bowling son, Harold, fromthe way his game is improving.

So far no one has given George Ver-million a prize for being the quietest manon the floor.

There was a small celebration on thenight Brant, Schikowski, Yochum andStimmel each had a 200 game.

Fay Brausen wasn't content withthrowing a ball down the alley. She gotenthusias t ic and started to run after it.

Gertrude Hebert made one big mistakewhen she took time to teach PaulineCable to bowl. She set up a miniaturealley wi th paper bails for bowling ballsand made Pauline practice. The nextweek Pauline jumped to third high andher team gave Gertrude's a run.

He admits that he was dogged so we won't say a lot of things we had in mind.(This was not our idea—it originated in circles higher up.)

January 1931 T H E S T A L K Y J O U R N A L 35

STALEY FELLOWSHIP CLUBBOWLING LEAGUE

Team W. L. Pet.Electricians 32 13 711Sales Dept 25 20 556Elevator 25 20 556Syrup Shipping . . .25 20 556Pipe Gang 24 21 533Garage 23 22 511Mechanics 22 23 489Traffic 20 25 444Starch Ship 20 25 444Tinners 19 26 422Millwrights 18 27 400Executives 17 28 378

Ten High BowlersName T. G. Pins

Woodworth .. . Ele. 45 8368Mintun Mil. 45 8344May S.D. 45 8262Larrick Tin. 39 7065Walker Tfr. 45 8077Lukey Elv. 45 8014Knoebel Sts. 45 7972Talbott S.D. 38 6722Gepford Tfr. 42 7311Crabb Sy.S. 23 4002

Av. H.G.820 1070821 928811 987791 913796 892804 932787 973796 886791 964802 947805 916796 946

Av. H.G.186 255185 235184 231181 211180 238178 245177 247177 246174 217174 220

BOWLINGTeam

Rivet Heaters . . .Solder Slingers . .Pencil Pushers . .Pole Climbers . . .Wood Butchers .Nut Splitters

LEAGUE NO. 2W. L. Pet. Av. H.G..25 14 640 648 815.23 16 589 677 834.21 18 538 653 791.19 20 486 676 824.15 24 384 658 821.14 25 358 636 760

Ten High BowlersName T. G. Pins

Koshinski P.C. 21 3392Schikowski P.C. 39 6008Stimmel W.B. 25 3831Linnie N.S. 39 5907Moran W.B. 32 4687Cox S.S. 32 4668Yochum P.P. 33 4784Drvden N.S. 39 5552Hoerr P.P. 30 4220Sims . ..W.B. 36 5035

Av. H.G.162 205154 215153 202151 203146 196146 226145 204142 197141 183140 199

"Is it true you are going to be mar-ried?"

"No, but I'm thankful for the rumor."

STALEY GIRLS' LEAGUEHi

TeamJacks . .Queens .Aces . . . .Kings . . . .

NameHebertSmith . . ,RobbCochranMartin , ,Harder .HeffernanKeily , .PiercePayne

W. L.26 19

. . . 26 1920 2518 27

Ten HighT.

AcesKings

. . . .KingsJacks

. . .QueensQueens

. . . .Aces. . . .Kings

AcesKings

Pet.578578444400

Av. Game581574593596

765699743692

HiSer's2058189719361985

BowlersG.45424239453645364139

Pins7135582456505214585245555488428747854507

Av.158139135134130127122119117116

H.G.226179207201171171173167158153

HOW THEY STAND AT HALFWAYMARK

Leading Teams

Jacks .QueensAces ..Kings .

W..26.26.20.18

L.19192527

"Do the girls of today wear too thinskirts?"

"No, only one."

High Average TeamKings 596Aces 593Jacks 581Queens 574

High Single Game—TeamJacks 765Aces 743Queens 699Kings 692

High Three Games—TeamJacks 2058Kings 1985Aces 1936Queens 1897

High Average—IndividualHebert—Aces 158Smith—Kings 139Robb—Kings 135Cochran—Jacks 134

High Single Game—IndividualHebert 226Robb 207Cochran 201

The purest of sugar—

the freshest of butter—

the richest of cream

—and Staley's Corn Syrup

Of course it's good for them

Toffee de luxeEAT MACKINTOSH'S TOFFEE DE-LUXE—CANDY MADE WITH STALEY'S SYRUP.

January 1931 T H E S T A L K Y J O U R N A L 37

Such a Heart!"Wall Street has no heart!" exclaimed

the broker."Oh, yes, it has," replied his wife. "I

was just reading that bonds dropped insympathy with stocks."—Ex.

I called recently at the neighborhoodschool where my 8-year-old son, John,was in attendance.

The teacher was conducting a languageclass and upon recognizing me calledupon John to write a sentence upon theblackboard. He proudly arose and wrotethe following sentence: "A dog are abig animal."

"Look at that sentence again, John,"said the teacher. "Do you see anythingwrong with it?"

John gazed long and intently at theboard. A bright smile finally passed overhis troubled face. Quickly he erased andwrote: "A elephant are a big animal."

•Distant Relations Now

Pop (to his bright infant)—What'swrong?

Son (twelve years old)—I had a ter-rible scene with your wife.

Mrs. Sippy—Why don't you go towork ?

Tramp—I would if I had the tools.Mrs. Sippy—What tools do you need?Tramp—A knife and fork.

•Why?

Young Mrs. Brown—Oh, if I onlyknew what to do with baby!

Child of Neighbor (visiting)—Why,Mrs. Brown, didn't you get a book ofinstructions with it?

The Governor of Arkansas was visit-ing the state penitentiary. A coloredwoman inmate who was cooking in theprison kitchen desired an interview withhim, which he granted. She asked for apardon. The Governor asked her:

"What's the matter, Auntie—haven'tyou a nice home here"

"Yes sir," she replied, "but I wantsout."

"Don't they feed you well here?""Yes sir; I gets good victuals; dat's not

hit.""Well, what makes you dissatisfied?""It's dis way, Guvner: I's got jus' one

"jection to dis place, and dat's de repu-tation it's got out oveh de state."

Quick Change NeededBobby—Can't I change my name to-

day, ma?Mother—What in the world do you

want to change your name for?Bobby—'Cause pa said he will whip me

when he gets home, as sure as my name'sRobert.—Boston Transcript.

"Jack," said the little bride, "you saidyou wanted shin bone soup. I didn't re-member down at the butcher shop, justwhat it was, and I showed the butcher myshin and he guessed it all right."

"Humph," grunted the groom. "I'llbe darn careful what cuts of meat Ispecify in the future."

True"I said your ship would come in this

week. Was I correct?""Well, partly. My salary was docked?"

Mother—Tommy, the canary has dis-appeared.

Tommy—That's funny. It was therejust now when I tried to clean it with thevacuum cleaner.

A cowpuncher ordered a steak at arestaurant. The waiter brought it in—rare—very rare. The puncher looked at itand demanded that it be returned to thekitchen and cooked.

'"Tis cooked," snapped the waiter."Cooked—hell," said our friend the

puncher. "I've seen cows hurt worse thanthat and get well."

•Speculating

Kip—Where did Dr. Spoof make allhis money?

Kim—In the stork market, I believe."Lucy sure is a nice girl.""Yeh, so nice that when she dreams of

auto rides she walks in her sleep."

Irate Customer:—Here, look what youdid?"

Laundryman—I can't see anythingwrong with that lace.

Customer—Lace? That was a sheet!

Teacher was giving a lesson on theweather idiosyncrasies of March. "Whatis it," she asked, "that comes in like alion and goes out like a lamb?"

And little Julia, in back row, replied:"Father."—The Pathfinder.

38 T H E S T A L K Y J O U R N A L January 1931

True ChivalryThe genius of a certain Arkansas edi-

tor showed itself recently when he printedthe following news item in the local col-umns of his paper:

"Miss Beulah Blank, a Batesville belleof twenty summers, is visiting her twinbrother, age thirty-two."—Arkansas Tax-payer.

—••—"How would you like a job beating

rugs this afternoon, Bobby?" asked Bob-by's mother.

"All right," replied Bobby, angelically,"but I'm afraid I can't take it, becausedad gave me 25 cents to do something forhim this afternoon."

"What was that?""Not make a lot of noise."

—•—Case of Self-DefenseMary—My husband wanted me to wear

cotton hose.Molly—The brute! I hope you shot

him, dearie.—College Humor.

Consultation'I saw the doctor you told me to see."'Did you tell him I sent you?"'Yes, I did."'What did he say?"'He asked me to pay in advance."

'WThy did you leave your last job?"'I didn't like the way they used me."'In what respect?"'Well, for one thing, they took my

name off the payroll."

He—I've waited a whole hour for you.She—I was detained in the beauty

shoppe.He—Too bad you didn't get waited on.

Teacher—Why do we use soap?Johnny (feelingly)—That's what I'd

like to know.

One of the compensations of being pooris that you can get a thrill out of findinga dime in the pocket of an old overcoat.

HUNDHEDS SAMPLED

THOUSANDS BOUGHT

this delicious

new cakeShoppers who recently sampled this cake wereemphatically pleased. They bought and toldtheir friends. Today Date-Nut Wine Cake isa favorite all over town.

Its fine new flavor makes everybody cakehungry. Topped with dates and walnut.Fresh daily at your grocer's.

G R E N IV A NDate-Nut Wine Cake

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Made by theBAKERS OF

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We WantYou to Try IJNKUNSHOLSUM OR SLICED BREAD

and CONVINCE YOURSELF of ITS GOODNESSMADE WITH NATURAL FLOUR

Rough on Dentistry"Where are you going to eat?""Let's eat up the street.""Aw, no; I don't like asphalt."—State

Lion.

Teacher of Hygiene—Why must wealways be careful to keep our homes cleanand neat?

Little Girl—Because company maywalk in any moment.

»Distracted wife—Is there no hope, doc-

tor?Doctor—I don't know, what were you

hoping for?—Exchange.*

Blind on SundayDavvit—I didna see ye at the Kirk on

Sunday, Sandy.Sandy—I saw that Davvit, when I was

taking up the collection.

Grocer—Here's your flypaper. Any-thing else today?

Ratsus—Yes, suh. I wants 'bout sixraisins.

Grocer—Do you mean six pounds?Rastus—Naw, suh, about six, jes" enuf

fo' decoys. ^

Circumstantial Evidence"You don't mean that funny little man

is your father!""Well, that's what mama told me."

•"My dear, where did your wonderful

string of pearls come from? You don'tmind my asking, do you?"

"Certainly not! They came fromoysters."

•"There goes the old rascal who swindled

me out of $40,000.00"."How did he do it?""He refused to let me marry his daugh-

ter."

That Party Line"That is Mrs. Higgins' receiver that

has just come down," Mr. Brown toldhis brother over the wire. "I could tellthe tick of her grandfather clock among athousand!"

"You're wrong for once, smarty!" afemale voice broke in triumphantly, "Thatclock of ours has been stopped for over aweek."

One Point of View"Are the many automobiles in your

town a factor toward its prosperity?""Bet your life they are!" replied the

building contractor. "They've enabled meto put two big additions on the hospital."

The DiagnosisLandlady—Would you mind, sir, hav-

ing tea this morning? I'm sorry to saythe coffee is quite exhausted.

Boarder—Quite exhausted? I'm not atall surprised. You know, it's been ina very weak condition for a long time.

Many a man complains about beingoverworked because he takes the wholeday to do about four hours' worth ofwork.

"How many people work in yourplant?"

"Only one. He came today. The othershave been with us for some time."

CorrectMadge—What do you think of a fellow

who is constantly deceiving his wife?Geoffrey—He's a marvel!

••How it Started

"What are those holes in the wood?""Those are knot holes.""They are holes I Don't you think I

know a hole when I see it?"

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Doctor—I will examine you for tendollars.

Patient—Go to it; if you find it I willgive you half.—Exchange.

*A colored man was driving an old fliv-

ver in Sarasota, Florida. In lieu of thelicense plate, he had a shingle attachedto the rear of his car and on this shinglewere printed these words: "Lost it."

"I have a cold or something in myhead."

"A cold undoubtedly."

Use A BathtubNever break your bread or roll in your

soup. — Etiquette hint in an Englishpaper.

"What do you mean by the witchinghour?"

"That's when your wife greets you inthe early morning with, 'Well, whichstory is it this time?'"

"I'm for a five day week. How aboutyou?"

"Naw, I'm for a five day week-end."

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A wide friendshipis an institution sfinest assets...

J. J. Moran & SonsA Iways Call 4201

No Excitement"What's all this noise about, you young

rascal?""Well, Mary said if I kept on crying,

a great big mouse with big green eyeswould come and sit on the end of mybed, and I've kept on, but it hasn't comeyet!"

•»Guest—I wish I had come here a week

ago.Hotel Proprietress—Ah! You are flat-

tering to our establishment.Guest—What I mean is that I should

have preferred to eat this fish then insteadof now.

Cohen — Oh, Ikey, guess vot I got atmy house.

Ikey — Vot, a little home brew?Cohen — No, no, Ikey, a little Hebrew.

"After I'd sung my encore, I heard agentleman from one of the papers callout 'Fine! Fine!' "

"Dear me! And did you have to payit?"

AnsweredBoarder — I don't like the way you con-

duct your establishment. Ain't you neverhad a gentleman stayin' here before?

Landlady — Are you a gentleman?Boarder — I sure am.Landlady — Then I never have. — Amer-

ican.

A motorcycle cop pulled up beside acar parked on a country road in the weesmall hours of the morning.

"Hey," he yelled, "what business haveyou got to be out here at this time ofnight?"

"This isn't business," came a voicefrom within, "it's a pleasure!"—Ex.

" Say It WVtA Flowers

F L OW E RSBY FAST MAIL AND TELEGRAPH

HOURAN'SWattr at North—Phone M. 581

It Wouldn't BendAn Irishman was passing by a store

that had a sign in the window whichread: "Everything sold by the yard."Thinking to play a little joke, he went inand asked for a yard of milk. The clerk,without any hesitation, dipped his fingerin a jar of milk and dew a line a yardlong on the counter. The Irishman notwishing to have the joke turned on himasked, "How much is it?" The clerkreplied, "7 cents". Whereupon the Irish-man said, "All right, wrap it up, I'lltake it."

*Speedmore—I was struck by the beauty

of this town.Slowboy—You shouldn't get so familiar

with her.

Dorothy—I thought that sailor who justpassed looked well, didn't he?

Iris—-Yes, dear, and he's still looking—United States Navy.

Then there was the absent minded birdwho changed his oil every day—and hisshirt every five hundred miles.—Ex-change.

He—What was the name of that lastpiece you played?

She—Silk Stockings.He—Gosh, it sure did have lots of runs.

Papa—Bobby, if you had a little morespunk, you would stand better in yourclass. Now, do you know what spunk is?

Bobby—Yessir; it's the past participleof spank.

•"I hear they're starting a new campaign

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