The Stress - WELCOA Institute · 2019-03-15 · 2 The Stress Management Journal Have you ever asked your doctor about stress? If you did, he or she probably didn’t have much to

TheStress

ManagementJournal28 Days to Stress Mastery

By James E. Porter, MALSPaul Rosch, M.D., Medical Advisor

Published by StressStopNorwalk, CT 06853800-367-1604www.StressStop.com

Revised Copyright MMVII, James E. Porter

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The Stress Management Journal

Have you ever asked your doctor aboutstress? If you did, he or she probablydidn’t have much to say. Why? Because

a diagnosis of stress is difficult to make. It takestime and not all people have the same symp-toms or experience stress in the same way. Tosimplify things, your doctor might prescribemedicine to alleviate whatever symptoms youmight be experiencing, without ever taking thetime to figure out what is causing them. Youtake this prescription, despite the side-effects,thinking it is a cure for your problem when reallyit is only masking the symptoms.

This is roughly the equivalent of asking an automechanic to put masking tape over a warninglight on the dashboard of your car. The warninglight is not the problem. It is only an indicationof a problem. Every day millions of people takeover-the-counter and prescription drugs think-ing they are a cure for their stress-relatedsymptoms when in fact, these medicines usual-ly don’t address the problem at its source.

But you can take the time your doctor doesn’thave and get to the root of your stress-relatedsymptoms by doing some of the research andobservations yourself. This Stress ManagementJournal will help you do just that.

Once you start using the journal, you’ll begin tosee the connection between your stress symp-toms and the source of your stress: When youcome down with a cold before a major presen-tation you’ll make the connection in your jour-nal. When you experience an allergic reactionto something that’s never bothered you before,you may see a connection to your levels of

stress in the journal. When your belly achesevery Friday before the weekly sales meeting,you’ll make that connection too.

The journal helps you look for underlyingcauses of stress.Once you uncover the obvious sources of yourstress, the journal encourages you to lookdeeper for underlying sources of stress liketime pressure, financial pressure and relation-ship problems. Most people blame their stresson an assortment of superficial hassles includ-ing traffic jams, long lines, bad bosses, slowdrivers, and computers that don't work right.But with the help of the journal you may seethat much of your stress is really the result of asingle underlying problem - like time pressure.(And one problem is usually easier to solvethan five!)

The journal also helps you manage stress byintroducing you to five relaxation techniquessuch as deep breathing and progressive mus-cle relaxation. In addition, the journal intro-duces you to five cognitive techniques that willchange the way you think about stress. Thesetechniques include: changing your negativeself-talk, taking control and keeping your stressin perspective.

Don’t let your stress go unchecked.Most people never stop to consider their ownlevel of stress. They let it run their lives, affecttheir relationships and damage their careers.They never stop to figure out the correlationbetween their stress disorders and theirsources of stress. Left unchecked, thesestress-related problems eat away at their hap-

Introduction

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piness and their health and can eventually leadto a life-threatening disease.

Up to 90% of all visits to primary-care physi-cians are for stress-related problems.Researchers estimate that up to 90% of all vis-its to primary-care physicians are for problemsthat are related to stress. Migraine headaches,immune system disorders, high blood pressure,high cholesterol, heart disease and possiblyeven cancer are all diseases or conditions thatcan be adversely affected (and in some casescaused) by stress.

Think about the word disease for a moment.Break it down into two syllables: DIS-EASE. It’sa synonym for the word stress. So isn’t it worthspending a few minutes a day observing andwriting down your stress-related symptoms if itwill help you feel more at-ease now and prevent possible diseasein the future?

Remember, some sources of stress you cancontrol and some you can’t. So you’ll nevereliminate it entirely. But during the next 28 dayswe’ll focus on the kinds of stress you can con-trol and show you how to eliminate it, avoid it,and cope with it so you feel happier, healthierand more relaxed.

Ready to Start?You need to keep track of your stress asit happens. In order to do this, you caneither carry the stress journal with you oryou can carry a small spiral-bound pad,a day planner or a 3x5 card and jotdown a few quick notes wheneversomething stressful happens.*

At the end of the day you can transferthese notes to your journal and expandon them while the events are still fresh inyour mind.

Don’t wait until the following day as yourmemory of these events will fade quickly.In order to make the connectionsbetween stress sources and symptomsyou need to do your journaling everyday.

There is a little box at the bottom of eachpage called Stress Hits. This is a placeto use tally marks to keep track of everylittle moment when you feel the least bituncomfortable. On day 15 this boxchanges to Uplifts. Instead of tracking allthe little things that get you down, nowyou’ll be tracking the little things thatperk you up.

We suggest you start Day 1 on aMonday. (Days 6-7, 13-14 etc., requireyou to reflect on the week that’s just pastand are best kept on the weekends.)* See the back of this booklet for portable journal pages.

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obvious causesA simple definition of stress:

An interactionbetween you and your environment that causes you to feel uncomfortable in any way.

m o n i t o r i n g s t r e s s

DAY 1

Your journal entries:

Examples:

8:45 AM I felt stressed when I couldn’t find my car keys.2:20 PM I felt stressed when I had to deal with an angry customer.5:30 PM I felt stressed when I got stuck in rush hour traffic.

Today you are going to jot downthe events and circumstancesthat cause you to feel stressed.

Morning

Afternoon

Evening

Stress Hits Total number of timesI felt stressed today____

PLEASE D

O NOT

DUPLICATE

5


obvious causesdistressful emotions:

• anger• annoyance• anxiety• worry• frustration• sadness• fear


DAY 2


Examples:

8:15 AM I felt annoyed when the kids dawdled over breakfast.1:20 PM I felt frustrated when my computer didn’t work right.5:10 PM I felt angry when my boss asked me to work late.

Today you are going to jot downany distressful emotions youexperience from the adjacent list.

Morning

Afternoon

Evening


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obvious causesbehavioral signs of stress:

• argumentative• always running late• neglecting appearance• reliance on alcohol• excessive risk-taking• disorganization• apathetic or agitated• change in eating habits


DAY 3


Examples:

9:15 AM I was late for work the third time this week. 1:20 PM I argued with a co-worker over nothing.8:10 PM I felt so stressed out I drank three glasses of wine to calm down.

Today you are going to jot down anystressful behaviors you engage infrom the adjacent list. You may alsowish to keep track of your stressfulemotions (see previous page).

Morning

Afternoon

Evening


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obvious causesminor stress symptoms:*m o n i t o r i n g s t r e s s

DAY 4


Examples:

9:05 AM I could feel the tension in my shoulders as my boss approached.3:00 PM I get a headache every afternoon when it’s hectic.11:59 PM I couldn’t get to sleep thinking about the day’s events.

Today you are going to jot downany stress symptoms you experi-ence from this list and try to con-nect them with the stressful eventsthat preceded them.

Morning

Afternoon

Evening


• headaches• backaches• skin rashes• muscle tension• shallow breathing• sleeplessness• frequent colds• loss of appetite• nervous stomach

• cold hands• indigestion• diarrhea• irritability• anxiety• hostility• fatigue• impatience• racing heart

*Watch out for secondary stress reactions: Stress can cause any one of the reactions from the above list, but sometimes you react to yourreactions thus increasing your anxiety, insomnia, nervous stomach or whatever it is you might be feeling at the time. Let’s say you notice aracing heart. (Usually a minor stress symptom.) If this causes you to believe you’re having a heart attack, you might begin to panic. You cansee how this kind of secondary reaction can cause a minor stress flare-up to turn into a major one.

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obvious causesmore serious signs of stress:

• in denial about addictions• cheating/affairs• feeling burned out• disregard for law• unethical behavior• prolonged depression


DAY 5


Examples:

Last Friday I was driving in the emergency lane to beat the traffic. Yesterday I told my customer a reconditioned product was brand new.This month I’ve been so depressed it’s been difficult getting out of bed.

If you have experienced any of thesemore serious signs of stress in the lastmonth write them down today. If yourproblems are of a less serious nature (bethankful for that) and just make note ofany form of stress you experience today.

Morning

Afternoon

Evening


9*Keep in mind, your symptoms may be the result of a condition that is not stress-related. For example, headaches can becaused by stress but can also be caused by other things like caffeine withdrawal. Once you’ve made a connection betweenyour sources of stress and stress symptoms double-check with your doctor to see if he or she agrees with your opinion.

Stress Symptom(how you felt later)

Stress(how you felt at the time)

obvious causes

Stressors(what happened)



DAY 6stress symptom*

• shoulder ache• heartburn• headache• caught a cold• migraine• apathetic

stressor

• traffic• flat tire• argument• layoffs• bad news• rejected

stress

• frustration• annoyance• anger• fear• worry• sadness

Total number of timesI felt stressed today____

Stress Hits

The week in review. Today you are going tomake a list of the stress, stressors and stresssymptoms you experienced this week.Stressors are sources of stress, stress ishow you feel during the event and stresssymptoms are what you feel later. After youcomplete this list, circle the stressors youbelieve you could control (by avoiding oreliminating) and see if you can’t sidestepthese sources of stress next week.

Share this list with someone you trust. Try to find at least one stressor on the listyour friend isn’t bothered by. This will be the first clue to unraveling the mystery ofmanaging stress. If it doesn’t bother him or her, why does it have to bother you?

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obvious causes


DAY 7• heart disease• hypertension• allergies• insomnia• migraine headaches• chronic pain• digestive disorders

stress-related disorders:

The BIG picture. This week you lookedfor your most obvious causes of stress.You learned the difference betweenstressor, stress and stress symptoms.Our goal was to make you more awareof who or what is bugging you on a dailybasis. Go back over the week and lookfor any patterns. You may find the nameof one person (like a particular co-work-er or client) that keeps popping up. Oryou may find that one activity like wait-ing in lines, or driving in heavy traffic iscausing you to feel stressed. Or youmay find one time of day - like the morn-ing rush - where you experience themost stress.

If it’s one person - let’s say a client -maybe you can hand that person off tosomeone else in your office. If it’s oneactivity, like waiting in lines, maybe thereare times you can shop or do your bank-ing when the lines aren’t so long. If it’sone time of day, like the morning rush,maybe you can get up a half an hourearlier, or get things ready (like baglunches) the night before.

In the box to the right we’ve included ashort stress test. This is just an informaltest designed to give you some perspec-tive about how much stress you areexperiencing in your life right now.

How badly do I needthis journal?Evaluate each statement and indicatehow you feel about it by choosing anumber from 1- 4.1 = Strongly disagree2 = Moderately disagree3 = Moderately agree4 = Strongly agree

1. I often feel disorganized. 2. I am often late for appointments. 3. I get 2 or more headaches a week. 4. I get 4 or more colds a year. 5. I take over-the-counter medications

two times a week or more. 6. I lose my temper easily. 7. I suffer from insomnia. 8. My life feels out of control. 9. I often drink an alcoholic beverage

to calm me down after work. 10. I’m too busy to exercise on a

regular basis. Total Score____

If your total score is between 10-15 use the journalfor fine tuning; 15-25 there are some areas you needto work on (notice any statements you stronglyagreed with. This is an area that needs work); 25-35you need to pay close attention to the techniquesoffered in this journal. 35-40 keep using the journaland retaking the test until you lower your score by atleast 10 points.


Stress Hits

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underlying causes#1 underlying cause of stress:

Time Pressure (TP)Deadlines, due dates, running late for work,getting to school on time; we all experiencetime pressure on a daily basis. But few of usrealize exactly how much stress is attributedto this phenomenon. We tend to blame theevents that slow us down rather than timepressure itself. When this happens to you, askyourself: “If I had allowed more time, would this eventstill be stressful?” If not, the underlying causeof your stress is time pressure.


DAY 8


Examples:

7:15 AM I yelled at my child when she spilled her milk. (TP) 1:40 PM I lost my temper when my printer jammed. (TP) 8:10 PM I argued with my spouse. (nothing to do with TP)

Today (and all this week) you are going tokeep track of the stress in your life as youdid last week. But this week you are goingto look deeper for underlying causes ofstress. Today you’ll look for examples oftime pressure. When you experience stresstoday ask yourself: “If I wasn’t in such ahurry would this situation still be stressful?”

obvious cause (underlying cause)


How do you feel when you’re rushed? Explain...


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Financial Pressure (FP)Jumbo mortgages, credit card debt, car paymentsand an uncertain economy can all add a greatmeasure of underlying stress into your life. Mostpeople have no idea how much stress is causedby financial pressure. It can sneak into argumentswith your spouse. It can adversely affect yourdecision making and it can eventually lead toburnout and job dissatisfaction.


DAY 9


Examples:

Friday Got a collection call when I got home - couldn’t sleep that night. (FP) Monday Heard a rumor about downsizing - felt queasy all day. (FP) Tuesday My spouse and I argued over a recent purchase. (FP)

Today you’ll think about examples of finan-cial pressure in your life. Review the lastfew weeks. Ask yourself: “Are my debtlevels causing me to worry excessivelyabout little things like who’s going to pickup the check at a restaurant or big thingslike how long could I afford to maintain mycurrent lifestyle if I lost my job?“



Is your debt causing you to feel stressed? Why? What can you do to lower it?


PLEASE D

O NOT

DUPLICATE

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Relationship Problems (RP)Problems with your boss, customers, clients, your spouse,a parent or a child can affect you greatly. It’s been saidthat 85% of our satisfaction in life comes from our relation-ships with other people. Are you giving your most impor-tant relationships the time and attention they deserve?


DAY 10


Examples:

8:15 AM Felt nervous about going to work. (RP with boss) 1:40 PM I got chewed out by my boss for a spelling error. (RP) 7:10 PM I yelled at my son over a minor incident. (RP)

Today you’ll be on the lookout for rela-tionship problems. Notice how one rela-tionship problem causes others.Sometimes an argument at work is fol-lowed by an argument at home or viceversa. Take a look at the last fewweeks if you don’t encounter any rela-tionship problems today.



List 3 ideas for improving your most important relationship.


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Disorganization (D)If you work from a messy desk, or your closets aredisorganized, or your files are a mess, your life isgoing to feel out of control. Your disorganization can be a major source of stress.


DAY 11


Examples:

8:35 AM Felt frustrated when I couldn’t find the tool I needed. (D) 2:40 PM I felt anxious when I couldn’t find an important file. (D) 7:35 PM Just opening my closets makes me feel depressed. (D)

Look today for examples of disorgani-zation in your life. Think back over thelast several weeks if you need to. Ifyou feel strongly that you are alreadywell organized, use this day to look formore examples of time pressure,financial pressure or relationship prob-lems.



How do you feel when your closet, desk, or car is a mess? Explain...


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Job Stress (JS)When your working environment is unpleasant,noisy, poorly lit or dangerous; or you’re forced towork at an uncomfortable pace, deal with a difficultboss, or are beset with bureaucratic red tape; oryou work under the threat of layoffs, discrimination,or harrasment: Your life can be a living hell. Notonly will you experience stress at work, but thisstress will certainly spill over into your personal lifeas well.


DAY 12


Examples:

6:15 AM Slept poorly. Threat of layoffs at work. (JS) 4:40 PM Headache working with toxic chemicals all day. Irritable at home. (JS) 5:30 PM Too many deadlines; I feel like I’m catching a cold. (JS)

Today you are going to look for exam-ples of how job stress affects yourwhole life. Everyone knows their job isstressful to some extent, but few real-ize how often job stress affects theirpersonal life as well. That’s why weincluded this topic as an underlyingcause of stress.



List three ways you could decrease your stress at work.


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SolutionsUnderlying cause

Share this list with someone you trust. Ask them if they agree with your assessment ofyour underlying sources of stress. Ask them for advice on how they would solve theseproblems.

underlying causes

Obvious cause:

The week in review. Today you are goingto review your obvious and underlyingcauses of stress and look for solutions.There are millions of obvious causesbut relatively few underlying causes ofstress. For example, look at all thetimes this week your underlying causeof stress was time pressure and thinkhow much stress you could eliminate bysimply building more time into your busyschedule!


DAY 13Obv. Cause:

• traffic

• accident

• argument

• downsizing

• lost keys

• late for work

Underlying Cause:

• time pressure

• job stress

• relationship probs.

• financial stress

• disorganization

• time pressure


Stress Hits

*An inexpensive device that helps you find your keys when they are lost.

Solution:

• allow extra time

• better lighting

• talk more

• send out resume

• get key beeper*

• make lunchesthe night before

Traffic. Time Pressure. Allow extra time.

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underlying causes


DAY 14• Time pressure• Financial pressure• Relationship problems• Disorganization• Job stress

underlying causes of stress:

The BIG picture. You’ve spent two weeks simplymonitoring your stress. The first week you lookedfor obvious causes of stress and the second weekyou looked for the underlying causes of stress. Sofar you’ve learned the difference between stressand stressors. (Stressors are what happens to youand stress is how you take it.)

You’ve also learned that while there are a greatmany causes of stress, there are relatively fewunderlying causes. Yelling at your children fordawdling, or getting into a fight with your spousewhile you’re hurrying to get somewhere or beingchewed out by your boss for turning in a lateassignment may have more to do with time pres-sure than having disobedient children, anunthoughtful spouse or a nasty boss.

Also notice how a relationship problem with oneperson can affect your relationships with others.An argument at work is often followed by an argu-ment at home or vice versa. And notice how anargument with a spouse is often followed by anargument with a child.

Take careful note of how financial pressure can eataway at your peace of mind like a slow growingcancer. If you have a lot of loans and credit carddebt, don’t underestimate this as a major source ofstress. Disorganization and job stress are impor-tant areas to consider also.

When you stop at the most obvious cause of yourstress, you’ll never eliminate it. You have to keeplooking deeper. But once you identify the underly-ing causes, and keep applying your best problem-solving abilities to the situations that crop up overand over again, you’ll eventually eliminate a major amount of stress from your life.

Test your ability to identify underlyingcauses of stressChoose A for Time pressure

B for financial pressureC for relationship problemsD for disorganizationE for job stress

Read the five paragraphs below. Try to determine themost likely cause of underlying stress. Hint: There’s a different underlying cause of stress for each scenario.*

1. You reach for the kitchen scissors and they’re notthere. You search several other drawers where youoccasionally leave them, then the whole house. Youblame your child for misplacing them but eventuallyfind them in the kitchen “junk drawer.” ______

2. It’s 7:20 PM and you and your spouse are on yourway to a movie that started at 7:15. On route youget into an argument over who should have takenout the trash. ______

3. After hearing a rumor about layoffs at work you comehome and discover your spouse has forgotten torun an errand for you that day. You get upset andexpress your anger___

4. You’ve been fighting with your spouse all week, andeven used the word divorce. When a co-worker atyour office politely asks you for a favor you explode._______

5. Your spouse comes home and announces, he’s justbought you a new car. Instead of being happy andexcited, you’re annoyed and anxious. He can’tunderstand your reaction.________

*Clearly there are no right and wrong answers here sopick the most likely cause and just use the answersbelow for comparison.


Stress Hits

1. D 2. A 3. E 4. C 5. B

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#1 relaxation technique

Deep Breathing (DB)Deep breathing is so simple to do you can learn itright now. After reading these instructions, closeyour eyes and start breathing in and out to thesilent count of five. (Breathing in 1-2-3-4-5 andbreathing out 1-2-3-4-5). At this same slow pace, try breathing inthrough your nose and out through your partiallyclosed mouth. Do this for about 1-2 minutes.

m a n a g i n g s t r e s s

DAY 15


Examples:

Felt uneasy about going to work. (DB for 2 min. felt better) Had a difficult encounter with my boss. (calmed myself with 1 min. of DB) Stuck for 1 hour in a traffic jam. (DB for 1 min. felt better)

For two weeks you’ve been simplymonitoring your stress. Now youare going to learn how to manageit. This week you will learn fiverelaxation techniques that will helpyou relieve stress and blow offsteam. Any time you feel tensiontoday try using deep breathing toreduce your stress.

About relaxation technique


Think of anything you did or that happened today that was uplifting.

Uplifts (see list above for examples) Total number of timesI felt stressed today____

Ate lunch outside, saw a movie, polished my car, took a long shower, playedtennis, gazed at the stars, picked apples, finished a big project, organized my desk,saw my kids in a school play, took a walk...

(We’ll supply a list of examples for today only.)

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Progressive MuscleRelaxation (PMR)Sit in a chair, feet flat on the floor with your hands inyour lap. Make a fist with each hand. Tense the mus-cles in your arms for ten seconds…then release thattension, noticing the warm state of relaxation thatnaturally follows. Work your way progressivelythrough your whole body, tensing and relaxing themuscles in your head and neck, (clench your jaw,scrunch your face) your shoulders and back, (archyour back, lift your shoulders up to your ears)abdomen and legs (tighten all the muscles in yourbelly and legs). Take time between each musclegroup to enjoy the relaxation that naturally follows.


DAY 16


Examples:

Arrived at work late, felt stressed. (did DB for 1 min. - felt much better) Dealt with a nasty customer. (tried PMR in the break room - felt a little better) Watched the 11 o’clock news, felt wired. (did five min. of PMR- fell asleep)

Any time you feel tension today trydoing just a couple of minutes ofdeep breathing or progressive mus-cle relaxation to manage yourstress.





Uplifts

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Stretching (S)If you’re sitting in a chair, put your feet flat on thefloor. Raise your arms up over your head. Stretchyour spine out as if you were reaching and grabbingfor imaginary apples just over your head. Alternatearms as you reach and grab. Feel the stretch inyour shoulders and upper back. Do this for at least1 minute. Now lower your arms and clasp yourhands behind your back. Arch your back. Squeezeyour shoulder blades together as if you weresqueezing a lemon between them. Count to ten andrelease, letting all the tension flow right out of yourback. Stand up. Lift your arms straight up over yourhead. Lean sideways to the right and then to theleft. Repeat.


DAY 17


Examples:

Worked at the computer all day, muscles tense. (did S - eased the knot in my back) Putting on a presentation felt nervous. (did DB for 1 min - felt a little better) Paid bills and felt stressed. (did 2 min. of PMR - felt calmer)

Today you’re going to try simplystretching at your desk or work station. You can do these exercisesstanding up or sitting down. Usethe other two relaxation techniquesyou’ve learned whenever you feelstressed.





Uplifts

PLEASE D

O NOT

DUPLICATE

21



Autogenic Meditation (AM)Take a minute to focus on your breathing. Breathe inslowly and breathe out slowly. For the next few minutesrepeat to yourself silently: I am getting more and morerelaxed.To achieve an even deeper state of relaxation add a tento one countdown at the end of your meditation. Say toyourself: Ten, I am getting more and more relaxed. Nine,my forehead is relaxed. Eight, my shoulders are relaxedand so on until you work your way down the body relax-ing one muscle group at a time until you get to: One, Iam deeply, deeply relaxed. Enjoy this deep state ofrelaxation for about a minute and then open your eyesslowly.


DAY 18


Examples:

Spent 20 minutes waiting for tech support. (did DB for 2 min. & felt better) My shoulders ached after a long drive. (did 1 min. of S - not quite long enough) Couldn’t sleep - worried about layoffs. (Tried AM - had trouble focusing)

Any time you feel tension today try doing acouple minutes of stretching, deep breathing orprogressive muscle relaxation to manage yourstress. Save autogenic meditation for somepoint during the day (or the end of the day)when you know you won’t be interrupted. Finda quiet place, close the door, turn off the phoneand allow yourself to really focus. Meditationtakes practice. Don’t be discouraged if it does-n’t seem to work the first few times.





Uplifts

*Consult your doctor before beginning any exercise program.22


#5 stress reduction technique

Exercise (EX)Aerobic exercise is one of the best stress managementtechniques there is. Any exercise that gets you winded isconsidered aerobic. 20 minutes of aerobic exercise a day,three days a week is all you need to stay fit and fightstress. Jogging, swimming, biking, jumping rope or even abrisk walk can all give you an aerobic workout. Light exer-cise is also an option. Walking the dog, vacuuming, gar-dening, mowing the lawn, bowling and even ping pong arejust a few of the many examples of light exercise. Studiesshow, light exercise must be done for 30 minutes on mostdays to achieve the same cardiovascular benefit as aero-bic exercise. But it can be conveniently broken up intothree 10-minute segments and spread throughout the day.


DAY 19


Examples:

Big job interview today, felt nervous. (EX really worked to calm me down) Waiting for interview in lobby - felt tense. (Did DB got my mind off it) Interview went well but I felt restless at bedtime. (AM - worked well)

Today you’re going to add exercise* intoyour weekly routine. Plan a 20 minuteaerobic exercise period, preferably in themorning, three times during the nextweek. Or, you can do 30 minutes of lightexercise such as walking 6-7 times perweek. Light exercise can be broken upinto three 10-minute blocks.





Uplifts

23


SAT.FRI.THURS.WED.TUES.MON.

6-7AM7-88-99-1010-1111-1212-1PM1-22-33-44-55-66-77-88-99-1010-11

SUN.

• Deep Breathing• Prog. Muscle Relaxation• Stretching• Autogenic Meditation• Exercise• A hot bath• Listening to relaxing music• Reading a good book• Getting a massage• Taking a nap• Walking in the park• Planning/organizing

The week in review. You now have five tools tochoose from (plus the new ones we’ve addedhere) to counteract the buildup of tension. Justas everyone experiences stress differently, thetools you choose for managing stress will differalso. Pick the techniques that work best for youand pencil them into the calendar below. We’vehighlighted the hours of the day people typicallyuse for scheduling these activities. (Beforebreakfast, lunch hour, and after 9PM; Thesetimes belong to you.) Remember, TV watchingisn’t necessarily relaxing. Try stealing an houror two from your evening TV-schedule (go tobed earlier) and use this time for some rejuve-nating activity in the morning.

Stress reduction techniquesm a n a g i n g s t r e s s

DAY 20


Uplifts

24


m a s t e r i n g s t r e s s

DAY 21“Nothing is either goodor bad but thinkingmakes it so.”– William Shakespeare

An alternate definition of stress

The BIG picture. A flat tire, a pressingdeadline, a computer malfunction, a nastyboss, a traffic jam, and a long line, are allexamples of events and circumstances thatmost people consider stressful.

But what if we told you that none of theseexamples are stressful unless you think theyare? And what if we told you that you couldchange your thinking and choose to by-passstress almost any time you want?

Sounds impossible, doesn’t it? That’sbecause our reactions to stress seem auto-matic. But they don’t have to be. You canlearn to mentally control your reactions bychanging your thought patterns.Psychologists call this cognitive restructuring.

Look at the A+B=C equation in the box tothe right. This is what we call the sequenceof stress. A represents the stressful event. Brepresents your beliefs about that event. AndC represents what you feel afterward (whichis usually stress). Most people believe that Aequals C. In other words, that stressfulevents automatically lead to stress. But usu-ally it’s your thoughts and beliefs aboutstressful events that are the true sources ofyour distress.

Study the box to the right and you’ll see howyou can significantly lower your stress bychanging your thoughts and beliefs at B.

The Sequence of Stress:

A+B=C*

The Activating Event plus

your Beliefs about that event

equals the Consequence

You can change your thinking at B. Youcan say to yourself: “This stuff happens toeveryone and I can handle it. I’ll call AAAor I’ll change the tire myself. It’s no bigdeal. I’ll be back on the road in no time.”

When you change your thinking at B youwon’t feel as stressed at C.

* Based on the work of psychologist Albert Ellis


If you are driving on thehighway and you get aflat tire: that’s the Activating event.

If you say to yourself:This is just awful, whydoes this stuff alwayshappen to me? that’syour Belief.

If, as the result of A + B,you feel upset - that’sthe Consequence.

A+B=C

Uplifts

25


cognitive technique #1

Dispute negative self-talkYour mind quietly comments on almost everything youdo. And much of what it says is overly negative, exag-gerated or simply untrue. Become aware of this phe-nomenon known as negative self-talk. This voice inyour head causes you a lot of pain. Why? Because youbelieve it to be the voice of truth, when it really isn't.This is the voice that says things like: "I can't, it's toohard, I'll never get this done and people always let medown." And it also negatively comments on everydayevents like getting stuck in traffic: "Now I'll never get towork on time. I'm always running late. I'm such a jerk!"When you hear yourself speaking in this way, argueback. Dispute your negative self-talk. "Yes, I'll proba-bly be a little late today, but I'm not always running late,I was on-time every other day this week. I'm a consci-entious person."


DAY 22

Examples & Journal Entries:

Argued with co-worker. What a complete jerk. Felt angry. Had to speak before a large group. I’d rather die. Felt terrified. Got stuck in traffic. I hate traffic jams. Felt annoyed.

Rational dispute: Other people seem to like him. And I have to admit, I'm sensitive to criticism.New B: He's not a complete jerk and he's not always criticizing. He occasionally compliments, too.Different C: I felt more in control and less stressed.

This week you are going to be learningthe ABCs of stress. Understanding theABC sequence (see page 24) is the keyto dramatically lowering the amount ofstress you experience personally. Today'stopic is negative self-talk. Self-hatred,lack of confidence, low self-esteem andlow regard for others often starts withnegative self-talk. To learn more, read theparagraph to the right.

Did you notice any of your self-talk today? Was it ever overly negative?


Activating Event Irrational Beliefs Consequences

My boss is always criticizing me.He’s a complete jerk.

(We’ll supply an example for today only:)

Uplifts

(self-talk)

Pick an Activating event and dispute your irrational beliefs by rewording them in a more positive way. A:_____________________

B:_____________________

26


Cognitive technique #2

Avoid the Blame GameWhen you say to yourself: It’s all his or her fault,you’re subtly saying: “I’m not in control of my ownlife.” Blaming others for your problems only makesyou feel worse. But when you take responsibility foryour part in the problem, you actually feel better -more in control. Remember, you’re not taking theblame either. You’re just saying, I could have han-dled this situation better and I can fix this problemthe next time it comes up.


DAY 23


Given conflicting assignments. It’s all my boss’s fault. Felt frustrated. My spouse tracked in mud. He’s always* doing this. Felt annoyed. Argument with family member over money. He/she’s all wrong. Felt angry.

Rational dispute:New B:Different C:

Blaming only makes you feel worse.Today you’re going to focus on avoidingthe blame game.

Did you blame anyone for something? Did it make you feel better or worse? Why?


Activating Event Irrational Beliefs Consequences

Pick an Activating event and dispute your irrational beliefs by rewording them in a more positive way.1 A: ________________________

B: ________________________

* Cognitive tip for the day. Whenever you hear the words ALWAYS or NEVER in your self-talk, let it be a signalto you that your thinking is probably a bit irrational. For example, when you say to yourself, my spouse is alwaystracking mud in, check to see how accurate this statement is. On second thought you realize: my spouse isn’talways tracking mud in. He has done it several times but occasionally he does remember to wipe his feet.

Uplifts

(self-talk)

1 See example on page 25.

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Shift your focus forwardWhen you are first confronted with a problem youtend to focus more on its existence than on the pos-sible existence of a solution. This can have a para-lyzing effect on your behavior. When you shift yourfocus forward, you move as quickly as you can fromthe realization of a problem to the active pursuit of asolution. Be confident that a compromise or a solu-tion exists, and you will quickly see your stress meltaway.


DAY 24


Computer isn’t working. This thing is always breaking down. Felt frustrated. Your friend is late meeting you. He’s never on time. Felt annoyed. Impossible deadline. I’ll never get this done. Felt angry.

Decide today not to wallow in your prob-lems. Shift your focus forward by lookingfor solutions instead.

How did you feel when you focused on the solution rather than the problem?


Activating Event IrrationalBeliefs Consequences

Cognitive tip for the day: Some irrational beliefs (i.e., traffic jams are awful) persist over time despite your bestefforts to change them. But by challenging these beliefs over and over again (Traffic jams only seem awfulbecause I’m running late) you will eventually win this battle and permanently lower your levels of stress.

Uplifts

(self-talk)



B: ________________________


28



Take ControlWhen your life feels out of control, you will feel help-less and stressed. Disorganization, working withouta plan, too many half-finished projects and endlesslists of things to do can leave you feeling over-whelmed and powerless. But careful planning, get-ting organized, learning time management, and set-ting realistic goals are all steps you can take to helpyou feel more in control.


DAY 25


Person w/less seniority promoted over me. Life is out of control. Angry. My car’s a lemon. Life is out of control. Frustrated. My house is a mess. Life is out of control. Depressed.

Probably the most important aspect ofmanaging your stress is having asense of control over what happensto you.

Think of three things you can do to gain greater control over a situation listed above.


Activating Event IrrationalBeliefs Consequences

Cognitive tip for the day. Take one step, any step, toward reasserting control over whatever situation is caus-ing you to feel stressed. For example, if your child’s poor sleeping habits are getting out of control, get a hold of abook on the subject. Simply taking this one step will help you feel more in control and consequently less stressed.

Uplifts

(self-talk)



B: ________________________


29



Keep your stress in perspectiveOn a scale of 1-100 (if a nuclear holocaust gets a100) where does your problem rank? We rarely everput our minor annoyances in the proper perspective.To help you do this try seeing the humor in your situ-ation. If you can find something to laugh about (whilerecounting your situation to a friend) that’s half thebattle. When problems come up at the end of the daytry tackling them the next morning when you’re fresh.


DAY 26


The store is out of what you want. They are always running out. Felt frustrated. Missed your child’s school play. I’m a terrible parent. Felt depressed.Your brother-in-law asks for a loan. He’s totally out of line. Felt angry.

When a stressful moment arisestoday, try imagining how importantthis event will seem in a week, amonth or a year.

Pick an event that got blown out of proportion and try to figure out why?


Activating Event Irrartional Beliefs Consequences

* Cognitive tip for the day: Cognitive restructuring (CR) is not the same as positive thinking. Positive thinking asksyou to put a positive spin on life’s difficulties. But CR asks you to see things just as they are: To be rational aboutstressful events but NOT overly negative. So with CR you don’t have to pretend that getting a flat tire on the inter-state is a happy moment. On the other hand, it’s not the end of the world either.

Uplifts

(self-talk)


Pick an Activating event and dispute your irrational beliefs by rewording them in a more positive* way.1 A: _______________________

B: _______________________


30


5 cognitive techniques

• Dispute negative self-talk• Avoid the blame game• Shift your focus forward• Take control• Keep your stress in

perspective.


DAY 27The week in review. This week you wentbeyond monitoring and managing stress,you moved into mastering it. When youaddress stress cognitively - by questioningthe beliefs and behavior patterns thatresult in stress - you are much more likelyto eliminate your stress completely. Todayyou are going to review your ABCs. Thelines below are laid out in groups of two.On the first set of lines jot down an ABCsequence you experienced this week. Onthe second set of lines (using the same A)apply one of the 5 cognitive techniqueslisted above and see how reframing yourB changes the outcome at C.


Got a speeding ticket Life isn’t always fair... I was driving too fast. Mildly frustrated

Got a speeding ticket It’s not fair, the other guy was going faster. Very frustrated, angry

(Same A w/new B & C)






A + B = C

Uplifts

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DAY 28Stress is a problem youcan often solve.

New definition of stress:

The BIG picture. Congratulations! Youhave now completed your 28 day stressmanagement journal. It’s important toremember as you continue on during theupcoming weeks and months that occasion-ally you will still experience stress - despiteeverything you’ve learned to date. But nowyou have the tools to minimize the impactthat these stressful events have on you.

You now know how to recognize stress in itsearliest stages. You know the emotionalsigns of stress like anger, annoyance, worry,frustration and fear. You know the behav-ioral signs of stress like being argumenta-tive, easily annoyed, apathetic, or over-eat-ing to relieve tension. You know how to spotstress patterns and the people who pushyour buttons and you know the five underly-ing causes of stress including time pres-sure, financial pressure, disorganization,relationship problems and job stress.

Once you identify your stress, you nowhave five tools for managing it including,deep breathing, stretching, progressivemuscle relaxation, exercise and autogenicmeditation. You even have five cognitivemethods for mentally short-circuiting stressincluding dispute negative self talk, avoidthe blame game, shift your focus forward,take control and keep your stress in per-spective.

From now on, when you encounter a stress-ful situation, use your cognitive techniquesfirst. If you still feel stressed after that, try arelaxation technique like deep breathing.Plan at least 3 relaxing activities every day

and try to schedule a 20-minute aerobicexercise period at least 3 days per week or30 minutes of light exercise on most days..Remember, you’ll never completely elimi-nate stress from your life, but you can dra-matically build your resistance to it byemploying the many techniques you’velearned here.

Five more ways to manage your stress1. Don’t pass judgement. Every time

you pass judgement you will feel a littlestressed. Give people the benefit ofthe doubt and you will feel morerelaxed.

2. Always arrive a few minutes early.When you’re always running lateyou’re always going to feel stressed.Force yourself to always arrive earlyand you will eliminate a large measureof stress from your life.

3. Seek support. The advice and help offriends and family is often the key tohandling your most stressful situations.

4. Don’t catch other people’s stress. Ifsomeone is short-tempered with youremember that’s their stress not yours.

5. Listen more. Talk less. Researchshows that your blood pressure goesup just a bit when you talk and it goesdown when you listen. Relax and lis-ten.


Uplifts

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Day #

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Additional space and/or portable journal pages: Just note the day # and you can reference your additional notes back to the original page.

You may also photocopy this page and carry it around with you (instead of the whole journal). If you choose this method be sure to fill in the details in your journal by the end of each day.

Documents

The Stress - WELCOA Institute · 2019-03-15 · 2 The Stress Management Journal Have you ever asked your doctor about stress? If you did, he or she probably didn’t have much to