The Testing Times - November 2009

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Reports Reviews Legends Cranks Riders Kit Old Skool Carbon

November 2009

In this issue:

Meet the team or just some of those responsible for this Titanic of preposterous prose

Britain’s smelliest tester - so who is it?

Frankly Franklin and his theory of relativity

Steve Kish, San Desperado and the London Olympics

Gambling...on public speaking

Alan Roberts From Jakarta .. take two

Sue Fenwick returns and tells us what’s changed in 20 years

Paul Gittins dwells on his tackle

Peter Whitfield on Frank Colden

Nob off...the back

Planet X on the run move Dave Loughran’s Planet X

empire is upping sticks and

relocating to “somewhere

warmer, where it doesn’t rain

quite so much and where I can

walk to work.”

Rumours are circulating within the cycling industry that Planet X’s competitors are ‘homing in’ on the existing secret headquarters location at Unit 9A1, Carcroft Enterprise Park, Station Road, Doncaster to see if what they hear about the ‘smooth’ operations going on there are true.

Loughran’s ethos in life is ‘never let the grass grow under your feet’ or in the case of his competitors, the tax-man and the Child Support Agency ‘a moving target is harder to hit’… so a move is imminent.

Mark Lovatt’s white van and Ray’s caravan have been requisitioned to move the stock (they don’t know yet!) and Doncaster’s dole office trawled for prospective cheap labour on the day.

The move will take place at about five past eleven (when staff usually arrive for work), on a day in December that coincides with Mrs Loughran’s Christmas shopping trip. Dave will of course be present to mastermind the move … which should be completed by the time Neighbours starts (because he’s an avid

viewer).

Any inconvenience to the customers will be kept to the minimum. Staff will be contactable by both telephone and email during the period of the move … Dave will check .. so no-one can bunk off for a couple of hours on the bike. (Blast!)

Customers, friends and associates are asked to keep an eye on the site for an update on the big day. This is for real...ok?

Dave and staff thank you all for your patience and co-operation during the period of the move.

Lots of love and kisses

Scoops and exclusives galore ...

INSIDE

Testing Times. Now with pictures and words of more than one syllable.

Joined-up writing in future issues …

… probably!

For a sneak preview of Planet X ’s new

Stealth - turn to page 9

Circulation: well into the teens (almost)

Coming up...the team’s first Sportive.

(Don’t worry ... it’s Dave’s idea. He suggested it last year too and it never came off.

So relax ...ok?)

Planet X hot-tailing off down

the M 18

STOP PRESS

Planet X and Testing Times

wish Wayne Randle a speedy

recovery from his recent

accident and thank well-

wishers for their kind messages

of support.

Meet the team (oh Lord!)...Part 3

First up...Sarah Brooke (left)...photographer extra-ordinaire. SOOO much better than that Kimroy-Silk chappie. Have a look at her site:

http://www.sarahbrookephotography.co.uk/

and see for yourself. Crisp, clear and sharp… by photo...by nature. What a thoroughly nice lady too. Really VERY nice. In a word...erm…

nice

• adjective 1 pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. 2 good-natured; kind. 3 (nice and &em;&em;) satisfactory in terms of the quality described. 4 fine or subtle: a nice distinction. 5 archaic fastidious.

— DERIVATIVES nicely adverb niceness noun.

Mad...bonkers...nuts! Meet the Legend of the 30s, 40s and 50s (or was it the 60s, 70s and 80s?) Paul Gittins (right)...can’t stay away (won’t stay away). Once that pen gets going, it doesn’t stop. His wrist just can’t get enough of it...he loves it. He’s quite fond of writing and riding a bike too...when he gets the time. In a word:keen1 • adjective 1 eager; enthusiastic. 2 (keen on) interested in or attracted by. 3 (of a blade) sharp. 4mentally acute or quick ...hardly ;-). 5 Brit. (of prices) very low; competitive.

— DERIVATIVES keenly adverb keenness noun.

— ORIGIN Old English, wise, clever, also brave, daring.

Alan Roberts (left)...former BBAR big-hitter now putting something back into the sport he so dearly loves. If anyone is behind (ie totally supportive of) the BBAR it’s Alan. He’s like the proverbial stick of rock...if you broke him in two you’d see BBAR written right through him. For goodness sake, if he had a son he’d name him Ben Alan Roberts I’m sure...what...oh...he has! :-)

In a word? With cycling? Smitten...not a ‘visitor’… he’s here to stay!

smite • verb (past smote; past part. smitten) 1 archaic or literary strike with a firm blow. 2 archaic or literary defeat or conquer. 3 (be smitten) be af-fected severely by a disease. 4 (be smitten) be strongly attracted to someone or something - ORIGIN Old English, to smear, blemish.

Not quite sure how much more I can take of this (Ed)...but

in an effort to show there’s more than one man responsible

for this sorry state of a publication here are even more

jolly chappies and chappeses eager to please!



There was only ever going to

be one winner of Britain’s most

coveted title wasn’t there …

and it has to be Phil Griffiths

hasn’t it? The man has been

around since Lavender water

was the most sought after

‘eau-de-favorit’ of the day.

He’s weathered the storms of

the High Karates and Brut 33s

and had all the stars of bygone

eras attracted to him like the

proverbial bees to the honey-

pot. Whether or not this has

been as a result of the scents

he’s been using or the ever-

increasing size of his bulging

wallet is open to question - but

one thing is for sure, there’s a

certain air about the man.

One leading ‘has-been’ is reported to have once said “I could never, ever, get any scents out of him … ninety-nine percent of the time he’d be away with the fairies for goodness sake! Ian Cammish was the biggest fairy of the lot in my opinion. Whatever happened to him anyway … eh?” (Fourth place in Britain’s smelliest Testers … Ed!).

If nothing else, Griffiths always comes up smelling like Roses … so for that reason alone there’s no doubting who really is Britain’s smelliest Tester … Phil Griffiths.

Britain’s smelliest Testers - No 1 -

Phil Griffiths

...is proud to sponsor Britain’s smelliest Testers.

Photo from Bernard Thompson’s Cycling Archive

How much writing do you

need on one bike? I find it

is an interesting conundrum

that as the number of words

in Cycling Weeekly decreases so the number of words on the

average road bike increases. I

understand that Mr

Hutchysun, an academic of ill

repute, is conducting a

serious study of this very

issue. But me, a simpleton of

the highest order, may well on

this occasion, have pipped

him to the chequered flag

(serves him right for putting

12 minutes into me the last

time we went head to head on

the F1). Any journal worth its salt, such as Aphasiology, Gay & Lesbian

Issues and Neurobiology of Lipids will always conduct research and then peer review before admitting for publication. Not here at Testing Times though. “Just publish and bugger the facts”, said the editor. “We don’t need peer reviews, and in any case we’re too busy testing.” So here goes. My research was conducted as follows. Firstly I located my 1982 classic Condor. This was a bike that was once used for time trials, club runs, crits and even a cyclo cross on one rare occasion. It’s seen reliability trials, treasure hunts, hill climbs and even a freewheel contest. Lovingly restored by Dave Marsh of Universal Cycles (highly recommended, blah de blah) it is now retired and sits in pride of place in my newly-built bike shed (see last month’s Testing Times). As

you can see from the photograph, there are a limited number of words on this bike – but probably more words than in the current issue of Snorting Weekly.

Having located said bicycle, I then, with the aid of my fingers, an abacus and my 10-year-old son Tian started to count the words. Now counting is an interesting exercise in itself. I have timekeeped [the jury’s out on that one...maybe time kept? Ed] for many years at countless (!) time trials. Note, that I was usually the start time-keeper because there wasn’t an event organizer in the land that trusted me on the finish line (unless they were desperate). This meant that I have honed my counting skills as follows: “30 seconds, 15, (in an excited higher-

pitched voice) 10 … 5 … 4 … 3… 2… 1”. After so many years counting in that manner, I find it impossible to count in the normal way, so I really did need the fingers, the abacus and Tian. Fortunately, as the picture shows, my 1982 Condor has very little writing upon it. It’s not easy to count words on a bicycle, because to get an accurate count you have to take the thing to bits. Testing Times readers will know by now that my mechanical skills are worse than my hill climbing so that was a no-no from the start. However a careful count revealed just 126 words. Incidentally, this Condor was restored and built for To55er’s Old Skool

Frankly Franklin hits the bottle

and asks: Is this a bike or an

academic journal?


Franklin's theory of relativity - the

number of words in Cycling Weekly decreases in direct proportion to the increase in words on your average road bike

CW (dated 17 September 2009). As you can see from the scan, the editor believes that his cycling audience cannot read (unlike Trek who think they cannot ride) and has therefore maximized the pictures and minimized the text. As a result we came up with a paltry 376 words. Now those of you with eagle eyes may have spotted that the 1982 magazine is larger than the current magazine. It also has more words than its modern counterpart. By the same token, the current bicycle is larger than the 1982 Condor and has more words than the older bike – the same situation but in reverse. This may be a coincidence but it’s one of those silly facts that could easily find its way into one of those Christmas present books (you know, the ones that have weird titles such as How

Many Times Does an Elephant Pooh

in a Day and other Extraordinary

Facts).

But if you delve a bit more it is actually the math that is of real interest. Whilst the smaller current issue of CW has 74% less words than the older mag, the older bike has 73% less words than the modern Trek. I could not have invented such a curious outcome to this study. Is it a coincidence? I don’t know but perhaps one of the reasons that Cycling Weekly has so little content is that the journalists are all off earning pots of money writing for the likes of Trek, Giant, Cannondale and simply don’t have the time to write interesting articles about time trials,

series. However, as I was dragged off to live in Thailand and Planet X’s testicles (or is that tentacles?) don’t stretch this far, so I’ve just kept it hidden in the bushes. I then borrowed Dave’s 2008 Trek. Being an American Dave loves Treks which is just as well because living in Thailand, as he does, very little else is available in the ginormous size that he needs. I went through the same exercise with his bike as I did with the Condor and came up with 478 words. In fact, I’ve seen some Treks and other modern bikes with even more words than that, including one with a sticker which said “Please ensure that you ride the bicycle in this direction →.” The arrow was pointing to the front of the bike which I found slightly amusing. Whoever thought that idea up should write a regular column for Testing Times.

The next part of this serious academic study was to make a comparison to ascertain by how many words per page Cycling Weekly (or Cycling as it used to be called) had increased or decreased. The only 1982 issue of Cycling I have to hand is dated 13 November 1982 and I opened it at a totally random news page. I counted the words and came up with the grand total of 1383. There were a number of recounts but after 3 bottles of Thai wine, they all merged into one, so I settled on the first number I came up with. I then repeated the exercise with a randomly chosen current issue of

my life in Thailand or any other similar stories of vital importance.

Now just to round this up before you spend the next hour looking at the pictures which prove my point, I was interested to read what the various stickers on the Trek contained. Mostly mundane health and safety nonsense that anyone with half a brain would have known anyway, but just look at this lovely little gem: “If you suspect your bike has been

impacted or crashed,

IMMEDIATELY STOP RIDING.

Take the bike to a dealer.” Let’s examine this in a bit more detail. If like me you are just creased up in hysterics and unable to continue, compose yourself and take a deep breath. Imagine that there you are minding your own business and riding in a country lane miles from civilization. Suddenly, it dawns upon you that your bike may have just crashed. Reason has obviously departed you because you’d probably know that you’d been in a crash because of the grazed knees, cracked helmet, broken shoulder or something similar. Anyway, that’s what you suspect. It doesn’t mean it’s actually happened. So, having read the sticker you follow the instructions. You try and locate a Trek dealer. Can you imagine, just for a minute, that you are Mark Beaumont on his round the world cycling record trip. There you are in the middle of Iran faced with this thought that your bike may have just crashed (presumably without you). You immediately stop cycling (doing as you are told by Trek is far more important than your round the world record). You locate a Mullah in the nearest village and using your best pidgin Persian ask him “’scuse me gov, is there a Trek dealer around here?” “Yes my boy”, he answers, “if you walk in a south-easterly direction for 3387 miles I’m pretty sure you’ll find the nearest one is in Bangkok.”

Ian Franklin



The newly formed small South

American republic of San

Desperado has committed itself to

entering a team in the 2012 London

Olympics. Despite the depletion of

the male population, a team of eight

men and one woman will compete in

road and track cycling events.

Our intrepid Testing Times reporter was fortunate enough to obtain an

interview with their Head of

Cycling, Señor Herman Ful Monté. TT – Señor Ful Monté, I understand that your president Generalé Elvis Las Végas himself will help in picking the cycling team. Will this not be difficult for him, as he seems to have no experience of the sport whatsoever? HFM – Yes, my friend, it will not be easy. El Presidenté has eleven nephews, so some will be disappointed. TT – I also understand that you will concentrate on winning a medal in the 4-up team 100-kilometre team time trial. How will you prepare for this? HFM – Well, amigo, I have written to the IOC asking if they would change the event to a 3-up, but they’ve refused. So first of all, we will have to try and find a fourth bike! Someone in your ‘Halfords’ has offered us one free of charge but we have declined - hey, even we have certain standards, you know! Also, we have constructed a special cycling circuit but regrettably, the architect made a small mistake with the plans, so we have a 100-metre circuit. Still, we did save much money on the tarmac and our chief medical doctor has prescribed anti-dizziness pills to the whole team. TT – Oh dear, it’s such a shame about the circuit.

HFM – Yes, a shame indeed but just one of those things, I guess. Let’s just say that the architect will now have lots of ‘time’ to read and understand the difference between metres and kilometres! TT - I believe that you’re quite strict about discipline. Will any wives and girlfriends be travelling with the teams? HFM – Well, my wife wants to come, as she understands that the security guards in your London department stores don’t carry guns. Also, we had an argument the other night and she thinks that I fancy one of the female translators, so she has insisted on coming. TT – Bearing in mind that the London 100k course is rather flat and that you will be competing against top continental teams, what gear will your riders be using? HFM – Our beloved dictate...er, I mean democratically elected leader has generously donated some nice gear, such as T-shirts with ‘VIVA EL PRESIDENTÉ’ on the back. This will look good on TV if we are passed during the race! TT – No, you misunderstand me – will your riders be using single chainrings and if so, what size?

HFM – No, amigo. All rings, chains and other jewellery must be left in the changing room, whatever the size. This is part of our strict dress code that also insists that sunglasses are worn at all times! TT – I hear from my sources that you also have a lady that will hopefully give Victoria Pendleton a run for her money in the women’s sprint race. HFM – Yes, my friend, you’ve heard about our little secret! Our own Juanita Ortiz is training especially hard for this. TT – Is she any relation to Juan Ortiz, your national sprint champion? HFM – Err, well, she used to be Juan Ortiz until last year – the operation was carried out by a South African doctor and went very well. She has now been re-classified by our senior physician, who is also a cousin of El Presidenté. We feel that Juanita has a good chance of a medal against Vee-kee Pendleton … well, far better than against Krees Hoy, you understand? TT – I also hear that you have a strict policy of sex before a race. Is this permitted? HFM – Well, you know, my friend, if there is a convenient spot in the changing room for such things! After all, we’re all men, are we not?... oh, with one exception, of course!! But yes, I have a strict policy. Any sex before a race must finish before the race starts. After all, we’re not all Mario Cippolinis, you understand? TT - Señor Herman Ful Monté, thank you for allowing me this interview and I wish you success. HFM – Viva Las Végas!!

Steve Kish

Testing Times Exclusive - San Desperado enters London Olympics

who is also a cousin of El

than against Krees Hoy, you


‘The Power’ Parkinson Highly dangerous...apparently!

STOP

PRESS! Flood of email at

Planet X HQ

Have you

seen this

lorry?

...is pleased to know ‘the Power’


the toast list are very amusing and it's a pity you have to follow old Jack, because he gets everyone curled up with laughter. Once, the room was full of cheery chatter when the chairman leaned over to say, “Shall we let them enjoy themselves a little longer or will you begin your speech?”

Even worse is to get to a nerve-jangling introduction like, “To propose the toast of The Club we have a witty and dynamic speaker…” That can finish you off completely when you know you are serious and a bumbler.

My suggestion to hosts is to ask the speaker if he needs any information and then don’t refer to speeches again. By all means chat about the club, for that often helps to fill in with something topical.

The speaker is advised to prepare in writing, rehearse and leave places for insertions on the night. It's worth taking the trouble not to make a fool of yourself. Hold your notes up where you can see them and not leave them on the table, where you have to crouch down for inspiration.

Get the pages in order though. I can

If there is a top table then that’s where you should be, otherwise in a prominent position where you can be seen and which gives you some status. If you’re going to flop it might as well be your own fault.

I’ve had a few fiascos which were not my responsibility. On one occasion the dinner organizer placed me on an adjacent table with my back to most of the room. If I faced the majority, then the dignitaries were sadly deprived of seeing my face, so I slowly revolved, as if on a roundabout.

Another secretary, mischievous or unthinking, had me right behind a pillar, so I had to crane round one side and then the other. As it happened, this lent hilarity to the speech and it went down quite well, although not so good as the time I delivered my diatribe with an important zip undone.

The company at the table can make or break your nerves before you start. There is nothing worse than someone telling you all through the meal how good the speakers were last year and the year before that Bob Whatsit was fantastic. Then he says the others on

We have all attended club dinners and listened to speakers of all styles and duration, even possibly been involved in making after-dinner noises ourselves. Winston Churchill once said: “There are only two things more difficult than making a speech, one is to climb a wall leaning towards you and the other kiss a girl leaning away from you.” Well, I haven’t climbed any walls but I know what he meant.

Public speaking is not a task for which we are all by nature equipped and there are some poor folk whose bodies reject speech making, as if it were frightened by illness. As the dreaded moment approaches, sweat pours off the face and hands shake so much, notes become a blur. Mouth goes dry, eyes glaze and a rhythmic twitch ripples down one side of the jaw.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts clicking the instant you are born and doesn’t stop until you’re called to speak at a public gathering. If the physical and mental breakdowns occur simultaneously, you may as well complete the debacle by kicking your chair over as you get to your feet, knock a glass of wine down the president’s wife’s dress, read the menu in an hysterical scream and leave on the run...probably to tumultuous applause.

It is important where a speaker sits.

Gambling … on public speaking

Mick Gambling contributed

around 5000 articles, race

reports, interviews etc for

Cycling Weekly, formerly

Cycling. They encompassed a

40-year period, 1965 to 2004

and half that period, to 1985,

included light-hearted pieces.

Many were topical for the

period, although some are still

relevant to the present time. A

taste of these will be produced

on a regular basis. Mick is

still alive and pedaling in

Norfolk.

The great Frank Southall delivering a speech during the 1930s.

Photograph from Joy and Southall - Two Cycling Legends with thanks to Peter Whitfield and the Norwood Paragon.

recall a splendid occasion when a chap practiced his speech right through the meal but unfortunately he left his notes in the wrong order, with his last sheet on the top. After a fulsome introduction by the chairman, he delivered his opening line by memory, then read his last sentence and sat down. There was a tremendous ovation, but he had a blank look on his face and a vague feeling something went wrong. It was several minutes before he realized the entire speech hadn’t been delivered.

If you are not very good at being amusing don’t try to be a comedian but just keep it pretty light-hearted, using references to club members, as these cause guffaws out of all proportion to the jests.

There is often a tendency to speak too quickly, so don’t. Easier said than

done, but advice is like that. When I remember to guard against going too fast I am too slow, and vice versa. One day I’ll get it right and there will be a great response to the joke about...about...oh, I’ve forgotten the punch line again. Oh, yes, remember your punch lines.

Treat microphones with great suspicion for they can be temperamental creatures, stopping and starting at will and invariably suffering from ‘feedback’. That is the term used for piercing whine which I have heard attributed to bad connections, other electrical apparatus in the area or someone in the room who is magnetic. However, if the venue is large with a high ceiling take a chance on the mike, because you won’t be heard otherwise. Maybe that’s a blessing for the audience.

Dinner speakers that you can rely upon not to tell “blue” stories in front of youngsters and Mums and Dads are thin on the ground, so if you do invite one to attend your function at least offer the person petrol money and perhaps an overnight stay. You are, of course, getting his or her considerable preparation and time for nothing. I write as a Norfolkman who has been asked to many distant locations, such as Wales and Scotland without mention of any financial help.

On those occasions I am tempted to emulate the cyclist who confided to me that he doesn’t get invited to speak at dinners any more. He got off the circuit with a beautiful, if cruel, ploy. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he boomed. “This would be a great club if it had a complete change of officials and another set of members.”


BIKE OF THE

MONTH!

Dave’s

Proto-type

Stealth 2.

Under wraps until now - a sneak preview to readers of Testing Times.

“Bollx to bamboo...this is the way forward. A few pieces of two-by-two and a couple of sheets of five-ply and Bob’s yer Uncle. We at Planet X HQ are all really quite excited about this major step forward in cycling technology. We can’t wait to get in on the streets and available to the eagerly awaiting British Time Triallist. We’ve had incredible interest shown in it so far and we thought it’s time to let the punters have a sneak preview” said Loughran with a wink!


Eight weeks ago, Andrew

Clarke returned to Jakarta

after a flying visit of one

month to the UK, where

he attained his Vets

standards at 10, 25, 30 and

50 miles. After a 25 year

absence from time trialling

he showed that ‘form is

temporary, class is

p e rmanen t ’ , a s he

achieved his aim. However, soon after his arrival home, he discovered he had contracted the now rare disease of ‘Testingitus’!! Despite a family holiday to Singapore to try and rid the symptoms, it appears that they are terminal. He is regularly seen bunny hopping sleeping policemen around the suburbs of Jakarta, as he searches for a precious piece of uninterrupted tarmac. This stretch of no more than two miles, he frequents back and forth until the session is deemed finished, usually after 3½ hours and 35 turns in the road; in good old RTTC fashion! The reason for these obscure activities is a constant urge to reach for the CTT handbook and come back to England for another 10 events, to try and improve his standards once again. This he has done and started with the Manchester Wheelers ‘25’ on the ‘concrete mountain’, 29th August. With 59.18 to beat I wouldn’t have bet against him. The spoked, Campagnolo high pressures have now been replaced by a Ghibli rear disc and a Corima 4 spoked front, both shod with Veloflex Record tubulars. I was sure these would make a big differ-ence and enhance his chances of further improvements. Andrew landed at Manchester at 6am on Thursday 27th August, picked up his hire car and prepared for action. On his arrival at the Manchester Wheelers event on J5/8, it looked like any chance

to go faster than 59.18 would be blown away by a very strong Westerly wind. Still jet lagged, he took his start and faced the consequences. These were an incredibly quick first half, (at 8 miles he went through in 15min 36sec, 30.7mph) but by the time he came back into the wind at 20 miles, the signs were grim, as he struggled through in 44min 35sec, with the ‘concrete moun-tain’ still to climb! However he battled on to record 58min 39sec on a day when most people were some way off their ‘personal best’. An encouraging start to the campaign! Next up, after a week of horrendous wind, meteorologically speaking of course, was the Cardiff 100 Miles RC ‘10’ down on the R10/22. A midweek trip to Echelon Cycles saw a new set of curved, rather than straight extensions fitted to his Tri Bars and a new Record 10 speed chain to mesh onto his new cassette; this now fully completed the transformation of his bike, giving him

reason to be optimistic. That was until he arrived at the start, to find a stiff headwind on the already uphill outward leg and to add insult to injury, it was raining too! Still, it is a long way from Jakarta to DNS and he set about the task. The result was a 23.49, some 51 seconds short of his target, disappointing but with Levens in two weeks time, there was some hope. Glutton for punishment, Sunday’s Chester RC ‘50’ was next on the agenda, using a tough two lap course between Hampton Heath and Boughton RAB’s, with Broxton Picnic area the HQ. Never the best over 50 miles, this was a tough one; a dry cool morning proved harder than it looked. However Andrew dug deep after the previous day’s effort and finished up with a 2.09.16, some 47 seconds up on his last attempt. With the event won by Andrew Allan in 1.55.31, I am sure a sub 2 hour ride will be possible during next year’s visit, providing he can get

From Jakarta...Take Two!!!! by Alan Roberts

Left … Andrew

Clarke and

camera-shy Ian

Cammish trying

(not very

successfully) to

steer clear of any

association with

the VTTA.

seconds short of his target,


on the right course. Saturday, 12th September looked like one of the best days of the year, warm, light wind and plenty of expectation with another trip to the J5/8. After re-cording a 58.39 two weeks previ-ously in an absolute gale, in this ride on the course, a 57t chain ring was sought, to maximize the downhill sec-tions. Unbelievably the day itself pro-duced very similar times for everyone who had ridden before. Disappointment ensued as his 58.48 was posted, this after being on a ‘55’ sched-ule until the final 7 miles, then it all slipped away over the good old ‘concrete mountain’. As a punishment for not doing a pb, Andrew rode the following morn-ing’s ‘25’, based from Tern Hill to Shawbirch, a section of road notorious for its poor road surface. Promoted by Newport CC, a 9.12am start made sure, even on a good morning, that this would not be easy. However, he took it like a man and ended up with a 1.2.15, not under, but still better than his efforts in June, confirming that he had become a little more consistent. With the only realistic chance of im-proving his ‘10’ now being on Levens in the Wigan Wheelers event on the 19th September, it was time to bring some torture into play. Inter-vals; hard, fast and painful, that was the plan for the week and it worked a treat, despite being pulled up during a flat out 2.5 mile burst along the A5 on the outskirts of Shrewsbury by the ‘Old Bill’! After some ‘heated debate’ re-garding cyclists being allowed on this stretch of tarmac, a warning was issued from the said ‘Plod’ and Andrew then continued the session. He even re-turned later in the week, this time with-out interruption! The result of this proved worthwhile as he not only bet-tered his previous standard, he pro-duced a lifetime best of 21.37, giving a very respectable plus of 5.56. Well chuffed with this, but not ready to rest on his laurels, he set about the long drive home and did it all again in South Wales’ Port Talbot ‘25’ on the Sunday morning. An early start with the tem-perature still only 10 degrees didn’t bode well. However Andrew’s determination again rose to the sur-face, as he destroyed all previous ef-forts with a very creditable 55.22, to finish 13th in the overflow event. 4

hours later in the warm sunshine, Ire-land’s Dave McCann trimmed a mere 3 seconds from Chris Boardman’s 16 year old competition record, with a stunning 45.54. With all three standards once again shattered, could I get another plaque produced in time for Andrew’s depar-ture to Jakarta on 30th September? Another groveling email to John Cook was sent and lo and behold he came up trumps once again, a fine advert for Brunwin Engraving. All this was hush hush and with the plaque arriving on Saturday morning, it was the perfect opportunity to get it to Andrew at that afternoon’s Wrekinsport ‘10’. A quick word with TT’s own Mr Cammish, who kindly agreed to present it to Andrew after the race; the plan was complete. Before the surprise, came the pain of the race and with a good selection of local opposition, it was a stern test. Starting one minute behind the promot-ing the club’s Dave Gostelow, who in the warmer conditions of the Port Tal-bot event had bettered Andrew by just under half a minute, it was s**t or bust. A totally focused performance not only saw his prey beaten, but caught into the bargain, 22.57 to 24.07, and with only three 21’s done, a top ten finish was assured. Event over and Mr Cammish sprung the surprise, Andrew can once again show his ever supportive wife Dea, and the children, the fruits of his labour.

It has to be said that the plaque was paid for in full by Andrew, before any complaints arrive from the over 40’s community. Two trips from Jakarta, two new bikes, disc wheel, no wonder the ‘boy’s toy’ is up for sale! If you fancy a Porcshe 911 Turbo he will ac-cept any bid with a lot of noughts on the end!! The final race of the visit was a ‘10’, run by Team Midland Racing on the K33. A leisurely 11 o’clock start saw the morning dry, however a nig-gling breeze put paid to any super fast rides and Andrew had to settle for a 23.09, in the circumstances happy enough, after a more than hectic few weeks. With another successful trip almost over, his targets met, you would think it would be feet up and chill before the flight home. Not a chance, as this ‘seventies throw back’ has once again become obsessed. Monday saw him complete a very tough 60 miles, up hill and down dale in deepest Shrop-shire and the bordering Welsh country-side, including a 1 in 5 just to see if all his gears did actually work! So it’s now back home to the ‘sleeping policemen’, which he will now no doubt hit harder than ever after his A5 experience. The plan is to return once again next June, 2010 and do it all again………….only FASTER!!!

steer clear of any Andrew being presented with his award by Ian Cammish.

Photos by Alan Roberts Enterprises


Like train spotting but

more aerobic, Sue Fenwick

had a meteoric first season

aged 18 in 1983 with

National 100 gold, 50 and

BBAR silvers. She then

raced at lower level for a

while but disappeared

around 1990 until this

season.

People often ask "Why did you stop?" Three reasons: ongoing long-term family difficulties with my Dad's OCD until he died, my brother Mike's suicide in 1993 which knocked me sideways and a debilitating woman's health problem incorrectly diagnosed until 2008.

Returning has been great. Despite the surface changes, the underlying methodology and personality-types are the same. It's a niche anorak sport, like train spotting but more aerobic, that tends to attract fanatical, driven types. In the 80s we dedicated ourselves to huge training mileages and weight-saving. Today it's about physiological measurements and aerodynamics. Testing is a lifestyle for many, racing in summer, training in winter, never any time out to be normal. Perhaps the sport attracts obsessive types? What's normal anyway? Maybe mental illness is latent in everyone? A lot of mental illness is about anxiety and loss of control. Time trialling may address this through execution, preparation, record-keeping, list-making. Maybe it fulfils a need to be in control of ourselves and our lives? Top level women's competition hasn't changed: friendly on the surface, very competitive underneath, more so than the men. Next year is talk of a women's team boasting four BBAR medalists so should sweep national team medals. Such teams are nothing new. Who remembers the women's club whose

friends were top Aussie cyclists who popped over for a summer holiday at championship time, joined that club and took team medals home? How many Manchester Wheelers lads actu-ally lived in Manchester? It's great to see proper accredited coaching recognised for its true worth. I had lovely people looking out for me in the 80s, Bill Thorncroft, Gordon Irons, Vic Haines, Molly and Bill Swann, Linda and Clive Johnson, Wendy and Dick Spanton but there were also unsavoury types who proffered help but really wanted reflected glory or sex. Novice riders, male and female, need protecting from that. As athletes we should know the bio-mechanics and physiological effects of training and racing so we can make better decisions to benefit our racing. Being older, rest and recovery are more important so smart training becomes the only option when working fulltime. Today's availability of info on smart, scientific training is a big break-through.

It's been fun mastering tribar bikes and great to afford a disc wheel at last. Today's equipment is superb and superior except it's a shame Clement No3 tubs have disappeared. No other tub sings or rides so light. Some things don't change, such as poxy safety pins that stab your arse, rip the skinsuit and ping off halfway round. Traffic levels are higher but with age comes awareness of mortality and a more "what if" mentality. At 18 I thought it fantastic to filter-commute at speed through slow-moving traffic on dual carriageways. Wheel sucking lorries was the bee's knees. Wouldn't dream of doing either now. I prefer racing for placings not times. Targeting specific events is my goal, being a dragstrip queen or chasing the BAR doesn't do it for me although an occasional 25 foray on a quiet sunny E2 or B25 dawn is pleasurable. My comeback season's been fantastic fun, self-imposed pressure, pick and mix events. Next year I might be more focused or would that count as obsessive?

Then...and now! Janet Gregory (RRA 50 and 100 mile record

breaker) and Sue Fenwick (1983 National 100 miles champion).

Sue’s photo courtesy of David Jones

Then...and now! What’s changed after nearly

20 years? Sue Fenwick tells all


Too good to be true? Testing Times’ WORLD exclusive Testing Times’ intrepid and most revered reporter Ian

Cammish stumbled upon the

man himself one afternoon

while frequenting his local

Garden Centre’s Tea Room for

his customary cucumber

sandwich followed by rhubarb

crumble and custard ...

Wednesday’s pensioner’s treat

at Waresley Garden Centre

(the centre of the Universe as

we know it).

Believe it or not, the icon of the cycling world was seen to be relaxing reading a well thumbed copy of October’s issue of Testing Times - ‘Testing Times to broaden its horizons’ indeed. What a scoop eh? ;-)

Was there any truth in the rumour then, that the man in the photo (right) was out to humiliate the legend that is ‘the Power’ Parkinson in next season’s Planet X Series of Old Skool events?

Without a blink or a moment’s hesitation we were told that he held no fear whatsoever for ‘the Power’. He’d heard his Dad talking about him in the past (who held him in the greatest of esteem … apparently) and gathered from the coverage in Britain’s press that ‘the Power’ was rapidly gaining a reputation for being rock-hard. “I’ve seen the pictures of him on my Dad’s computer and haven’t seen anything there to frighten me...except perhaps the photos my Dad’s mates have been sending him for something called Planet X’s Old Skool calendar...but that's another story and something my Mum says I shouldn’t tell anybody about. But, good Lord, there are some old birds there .. and more crinkles than you’d see in a Tesco King Size bag of crinkle cut oven-readies”.

Would he be taking on ‘the Power’ then? “That remains to be seen. I’ve got commitments in 2010….I’m going to be taking my GCSEs and been head-hunted by Ickwell and Old Warden FC, so time will be at a premium”.

Doesn’t he fancy having a go at some of the Old Skool records? “Not likely! I’ve heard about that 3-31-53 ‘100’ SO many times. It crops up every day in our house. Must have been one of the best records of all time that. Definitely can’t see any of the current stars beating it … that’s what my Dad says anyway.”

What about ‘Radio Shakatak’? Rumours abound that he’d struck up a

deal with them. “Never heard of them. Kate’s Dad doesn’t let us listen to that when it’s his turn to do the Skool run….he makes us listen to Radio 2 and Terry Wogan. Do you know we hit 120mph the other day and he could still read the footie results without crashing! I found this bottle under the driver’s seat and borrowed it for a while. I’ll put it back when I’ve finished …honest.”

Scoop of the month!


(With apologies to the Bonzo

Dog Doodah Band, none of

whom to my knowledge are

Welsh. But I’m willing to be

informed otherwise.) Back in the good old days, when I was a lad, the sun always shone, all the fruit gums were black ones, when Mars Bars were 9” long (so Marianne reminded me once), when there was a Third Divi-sion (North) and you could stuff your-self silly with 6d (2 1/2 p) of chips, we all rode frames that were made of STEEL with ROUND tubes, held to-gether with LUGS. You also had a choice of tubing! There was 531 Plain, 531 Butted or Accles and Pollock (who WERE Accles and Pollock?). Frame angles usually came as 73/71. If you were an avant-garde type you might have adventured into specifying 74/72 or even 72 parallel but whatever the angles, you always had plenty of room for 27” wheels, mudguards and a pump behind your seat tube. Mind you, there were the trend setters even then. For example, Saxon made a frame with a ‘split’ seat tube allowing a very short rear triangle and Taylor Bros. of Stockton had a curved seat tube for a similar reason. Generally t hough , mos t p eop l e h ad a ‘conventional’ frame built by the local builder and this did them for almost all applications throughout the year. It was also usually of a size that today would be considered 2” to big with only a couple of inches of seat pin showing – but it was comfortable. As good for a ‘12’ as it was for a ‘10’ (not that many of them existed in those days, they were considered only as suit-ab l e even t s f o r Lad i e s and Youths). There were also ‘standard’ frames around, manufactured in the UK by, for example, Viking, Holdsworthy, Falcon and Carlton along with some

continental imports (Cinelli, Fiorelli, Urago) but in my circle at least, they were frowned upon and considered somehow inferior. Why I don’t know as lots of the top riders used them. To us the epitome of frame building was exemplified by such as Harry Quinn.

In those days we had an extensive range of components to hang onto these exercises of handbuilt precision brazing (well, usually precision but there were always exceptions). The names of most of these have now vanished from the market. Simplex, Huret, Gnutti, Chater-Lea, Constrictor, Cyclo-Benelux,

WHAT … (equipment we had to

put up with) ‘Lets go back to our childhood, childhood, childhood…

Paul Gittins (maybe) - a legend in the making?

Photo from Bernard Thompson's cycling archive.


Mafac, Fiamme, Brampton, Magis-troni, Williams, British Hub Co., GB and others have all gone to the great scrap bin in the sky, only Campagnolo, Stronglight, Cinelli and TA that I can immediately think of still remain.

I well remember my first time trial in August 1961, aged 14, on the D8, a 25 from Llangollen up the A5 to Chirk then up to Glyn Ceiriog and back. I rode in khaki shorts, Aertex underpants, green socks, my black school shoes and a white T-shirt. My bike was a Viking ‘Gran Sport’ (I had-n’t yet progressed to a ‘proper’ frame). Wheels were Constrictor rims on Harden hubs with Michelin training tubs (almost heavier than HP’s!), a Milremo steel double chainset 47/50 and Benelux Mk 7 ‘spring’ type gear. Sprockets 14-24 5 speed of which only the 14 and the 21/24 meshed properly with the chain. My minute man behind was the local ‘fast man’ and he was immensely distressed not to catch me until after Chirk, over 6 miles. I don’t think he ever forgave me fully. I did 1-11-18, a time that will be engraved on my memory forever and one that I would be more than happy to equal now – especially on that course! Perhaps the point I am trying to make is that even though there was a wide range of equipment on the market, not many people could afford to use the latest. At that time, all mine – apart from the frame which my Dad grudg-ingly bought me (£8-10s) after my old Raleigh cracked – was passed on from older club members. So long as it worked, even after a fashion, we were satisfied. And that’s another point,

how well (or not) it worked. Even the very best of equipment from the 50’s and 60’s wouldn’t hold a candle to the cheapest around today. Compare a Campag Gran Sport gear to a Shimano Tiagra – no contest. Tiagra wins hands down. Mind you, will you be able to find a Tiagra gear in 50 years time that still works? I have my doubts – but a Gran Sport generally will still now and possibly still will in another 50 years.

And brakes, Mafac centre pulls, GB and Weinmann side pulls compared to Shimano Dual Pivot? I know which I’d rather put my life on coming down an Alp – or even Holme Moss! How those guys in early TdF’s managed down the Alpine and Pyrenean descents and still survived beats me. Still, for riding ‘conte la montre’ who needs brakes? Or so people used to tell me.

To ease the burden of payment and en-able riders to get all the ‘gen gear’, Ted Gerrard set up a ‘Pay as you Ride’ scheme with 18 fortnightly or 3 monthly instalments. This was adver-tised regularly in Sporting Cyclist and

is obviously when the credit crunch started as people flocked to take advan-tage of his generosity. Not that I ever knew anyone who admitted to it. Mind you the local bike shop probably had been doing this on the quiet for years! So, taking all this into consideration (and paraphrasing a politician of the day) all you young lads (and not so young!) out there with your Cervelo P3’s and Specialised Transitions – ‘you’ve never had it so good!’ I’ll stick to my ‘Old Skool’ stuff – it’s cheaper!

Paul ‘I’ve got some of

those PMPs’ Gittins

Benelux rear mech

Mafac centre-pulls (we all

used them...honest!)

Chater-Lea pedals - my Dad

says they were the Bee’s knees

...please do not adjust your set.

Claimed to overcome top-dead

centre, the PMP cranks were

used to great effect in the 80s

to break many a National Time

Trial record. Erm...I’ll get my

coat and tune in to the

message boards! Nob? ;-)


How passionately do you long

to succeed in your chosen

sport? How badly do you want

to be a cycling champion?

How hard can you push your-

self in pursuit of your goals?

Can the mind make the body

do impossible things? For a

good part of the year 1961,

these were the questions going

through the mind of Frank

Colden, a young printer and

time-triallist from Guildford.

Colden was already a good

rider – good enough to have

finished in 5th spot in the 1960

BAR tables. This in itself was

something of a miracle, be-

cause four or five years ear-

lier, he had been a very ordi-

nary club rider indeed, who

looked up to his friends who

could beat the hour for the 25

as supermen. His regular

training partner at that time,

aptly named Geoff Paice, was

one of the supermen, and

Frank would beg him “What’s

the secret Geoff? Please tell

me the secret?” In time Colden

learned that there was no se-

cret, no magic leap up to the

level of the supermen, just a

series of steps, pushing and

pushing against your own limi-

tations. It was like the old Chi-

nese proverb: you can eat an

elephant, so long as you only

take one bite at a time.

So Colden was now a successful rider, one of the top dozen in the coun-try, with a time of 1:56 for the 50 and 4:8 for the 100. So was that the limit? Was there no further to go? He had come a long way, but he still wasn’t a champion or record-breaker, and a vast gap still yawned between him and those who were. How did you close that gap? How did you get up to the next level? How did you make that fi-nal assault on the summit? Colden tried to find out, but at first without much success. He couldn’t find any books that told the stories of champion cy-

clists and how they trained, so he looked at distance running, which he thought must be a closely related sport, and here there were some useful ideas. The most inspiring turned out to be in the book written by Herb Elliott, the Australian who had smashed the world mile record and won the Olympic 1500 metre title. Elliott and his coach had developed a mind-over-matter philoso-phy that claimed to release unsuspected powers in the athlete – if he were brave enough to follow it. Elliott had trained furiously, pushing himself to exhaus-tion again and again, but refusing to

Pushing back the boundaries:

Frank Colden

by Peter Whitfield

The majestic Frank Colden.

Photo from Bernard Thompson’s cycling archive


stop at that point, determined to force his body to do what his mind dictated. This, Colden believed, was the answer; it wasn’t exactly a secret, it was more of a challenge to extend your self to the limits, to find out how far you could push yourself, and he decided to accept that challenge.

During the winter of 1961-62 he set himself a training routine of incredible severity. He drew up schedules that demanded 400 miles a week, including 100-mile rides at the weekend of course, but also sessions of up to 80 miles on weekday evenings. There were to be no excuses: the dark, the cold and the wet had to be accepted as normal, and the point of these sessions was that they must really hurt. They were not just steady rides, piling up the miles in order to reach a total. Each one had to extend the body, it had to add something, or it was not worth doing. What Colden was attempting was to transform himself in one winter from a good cyclist into a supreme cyclist. He was setting out to train the mind as well as the body, training it to ignore pain and exhaustion.

He stuck to his plan alone, telling no one what he was doing, afraid they would tell him he was being a fool. He had no expert advice, no scientific knowledge of pulse rates, power out-puts, training levels, recovery periods or anything of that kind. It was just a continuous battle, pushing and pushing, mind over matter. Sometimes he ar-rived home from these sessions so ex-hausted he could scarcely climb the stairs to his bedroom. Sometimes he thought he was dying. His only point of contact with the outside world came from January onwards, on the 100-mile club sessions with his friends. He knew these rides would tell him whether he was achieving anything or not, and here he finally got his answer: he rode at the front of the group all day, sensing that he was easily the strongest. A weight was lifted from his mind. Now all he had to do was to continue the training, and await the beginning of the racing season.

The results of Colden’s winter of solitary agony became part of time-trialling history. His first big target was the 50, which he won in a champion-

ship record of 1:55:33, beating the 25 king, Charly McCoy, by almost two minutes. This result came as a bomb-shell to the time-trialling world, but to Colden it seemed like a vindication of all his efforts. He felt he somehow had a right to win because he had trained so intensely, in fact the training had been so hard that the racing felt almost easy. As the 100 championship approached, Colden began to be named as the clear favourite, and people tipped him as the man most likely to follow in Booty’s footsteps. Not only had Booty’s record of 3:58:28 had stood unchallenged for six years, but those years has seen not a single ride under the four-hour barrier, and the cycling world was wondering impatiently if it would ever be achieved again.

Those years of waiting finally came to an end on the Bath Road on 5 Au-gust 1962, when Frank Colden put his name among the all-time greats of time-trialling. He did not merely get under the four hours, he exploded Booty’s record by more than four min-utes with a time of 3:54:23, and took the championship itself by ten minutes. All the weeks and months of solitary pain and effort culminated in those few hours. It has often been said that Colden hit the time-triallist’s nirvana that day, cruising without effort at 26 mph and cutting right through the field to finish relaxed and fresh. In fact ap-pearances were deceptive, and he did suffer in the latter stages. But he had suffered so much in training that he was now inured to pain and knew how to defeat it. Afterwards he signed auto-

Colden makes the headlines by beating Ray Booty’s 100 mile

record by four minutes.

graphs, chatted with Ray Booty, and tried to get used to being regarded as a superman. Three weeks later he set a new competition record for the 50 with 1:52:38.

Colden now had two champion-ships and two comp records. He was a stone-cold certainty for the BAR, and people were saying he could easily put the 12 record over 280 miles. But in the 12 championship fate inter-vened in the form of a cat that darted across his path, bringing him down heavily and forcing him out of the race. He had two weeks to nurse an injured knee, and to try again for a 12 time, which he duly did, securing the BAR with a record average speed. In a few short months, Frank Colden had become a legend, and was being talked of as a potential world cham-pion. He was like a man who had come from nowhere to conquer Ever-est single-handed; surely in cycling terms there was nothing now that he couldn’t do?

But things were not that simple. In the first place, Colden found his life entering a strange kind of vacuum. He found himself asking a new set of questions: where did he go from here? Was there another level to climb up to? Could he break his own records next season? If so, did it mean another winter like the last one? Was this to be his life from now on? Is this what he wanted? As these questions went round in his mind, he was riding a little, but he wasn’t training as he had before. In his heart he was now thinking of himself as a mountaineer who had reached the summit he had aimed at: he knew the only way now was down.

But there was a second problem, which only he knew about: the fact was that Colden was suffering from a mysterious illness, which had begun to show itself a few years earlier. It produced a range of vague but dis-turbing symptoms: headaches, nausea, loss of appetite, running nose, aching limbs, and so on. These symptoms came and went, but now they were definitely getting worse. Of course he went to doctors, but no answers were ever forthcoming, and now he felt a double pressure: people were hailing

him as a future world champion, while all the time he was becoming more and more concerned about his secret illness. Then one day early in 1963 two things happened: he was informed by the BCF that he had been selected for the World Championships that year, and he was knocked off his bike by a car. Lying in a hospital bed that night, he realised that he had reached a turning-point: he couldn’t continue to pretend he was a cycling champion when he knew he was a sick man, and he had to find out what was wrong with him. He had got through the previous season in triumph, but he could not repeat all that agony of training and racing. Somehow his life had to change direction: he had to find freedom from his self-imposed burden, and from the shadow of his strange ill-ness.

So he slipped quietly out of the sport, and he never raced again. Throughout the 1960s, clubmen would occasionally ask each other, “Whatever happened to Frank Colden?” but no one knew the answer. Years were to pass before Colden did get well again, in fact he got worse, until there were times when he could only lie quietly in a darkened room, wondering if he was dying. Finally a light dawned, for Colden discovered that he was the vic-tim of multiple food allergies, that al-


most all normal foods had been steadily poisoning him for most of his life. Slowly he evolved a new dietary re-gime, and his health began to recover. In the 1980s he even began to ride his bike again, but purely for pleasure, with no thought of returning to racing.

Today Frank Colden is a relaxed, philosophical man, with a wisdom that has come from an extraordinary experi-ence of the heights and depths of life. He has the satisfaction of knowing he did something no one else had done, but he is very conscious of what it cost him. And he still has questions going round in his mind: knowing how ill he was in 1962, he wonders how much faster he could have gone if he had been well? He took his life and his cy-cling onto a new level, but how many levels are there? Strangest of all per-haps, he asks himself if he was really a very good cyclist? Could anyone do what he did, provided they drive them-selves hard enough? Is it all in the mind after all? Are there deeper powers within us that only reveal themselves when you push yourself to the limits? Colden doesn’t claim to know the an-swers to these questions, but he has thought through them and lived through them more than most of us have.

Two cycling

legends (right) -

Colden with Ray

Booty.

Photo from

Bernard

Thompson’s

cycling archive.

Christmas is coming and if you

want to make your cyclist’s life

and library complete (and keep

him away from the remote over the

Christmas period) what about one,

or all, of these?

“Bikes...Camera..Action!”…inc DVD with over 600 photos. 50 Years of Cycling Photography - Ron Good. This picture archive presents a unique record of cycle sport in this country. It offers for the first time some of the riches of Ron Good's photographic collection.

“12 Champions” (brilliant...p 214—237 especially!) 12 Champions, an excellent book telling the stories of 12 leg-ends of the cycling world who helped to create the history of cycling on Britain’s roads over the last 60 years .

“Joy and Southall” inc CD Rom with 150 superb historic photos.

"12 Champions" and "Bikes - Camera - Action"

are both priced £20 each. Buy both for £30. Price

includes p&p. “Joy and Southall” is £10 including p&p.

Contact: [email protected]


BEWARE...of imitations! Coming soon...Planet X’s Old Skool calendar. Subscribe to the real

deal by contacting Sarah or Adele...or ...you’ve been warned!

Testing Times’ very own 23 minute man

Paul Hyde has been scouring the

seediest sites on the internet to seek out

the ultimate in Old Skool bad taste!

Before his case comes up, and the law

confiscates his computer, he has

promised Testing Times first refusal to his hoard of whores and who wasn’t

who in the world of laid back Lords and

lechers. (Sneak preview...see left!)

If the real deal (contact Sarah or Adele) doesn’t sell out soon...you’ve been warned. Absolutely no proceeds arising out of any unlikely sales of this poor substitute for the real thing will go to charity. Any funds will merely continue to support the sad and sorry world of drink, drugs and slappers that Hyde and Co currently live in.

…..is SO proud to sponsor Ian Cammish, Paul Hyde and the rest of the team in their glorious pursuit of drink, drugs and slappers.

For the real deal go here


For cheap sleazy imitations go here (more distributors required

please...photos / links to [email protected] )


BEWARE...of imitations! ...cont’d

Not an imitation this one...nor the real deal...but this is the real THING! 900 Lu-mens for goodness sake. Show motorists you mean business. Dazzle...don’t dip! Give them a taste of their own medicine...or simply see where you’re going!

Go here

http://www.on-one-shop.co.uk/?p=3412

Or...

http://www.planet-x-warehouse.co.uk/acatalog/Commuter_Lighting_Bundle.html

..for the package below


I have had lots of enquiries about my recent little custom project so thought I’d let all you readers into a small glimpse of what it’s all about.

One item in particular grabbed people’s attention - that being a rear derailleur which I have had customised in a nice shade of white which is totally different from anything else.

The item in question is a Lightweight rear mechanism in its rather boring naked carbon look below

...although some of you may wish to keep that naked look quite literally.

Even though this item seems to be on the scarce side I managed to acquire one and thought about getting it customised to make it totally original and in keeping with the little project I am undertaking (To be unveiled later in a Testing Times exclusive).

So having made initial enquiries I settled for probably one of the best custom painters in the business: Dave Sem of SEM CUSTOM PAINT, who is based in San Antonio, Texas & has been spraying stuff for many years. He is a dedicated and passionate man of very few words - his motto is “give me the details and I’ll get it done” ... with as little interference as possible from the customer I might add! He has a dislike for continual requests for updates once the process is underway.

But the finished products are totally outstanding to behold. He has just completed a project for a museum where he was requested to customise the carbon wheels from the 2000 US Olympic Team.

Dave received the rear mech with instructions and the whole derailleur was completely dismantled by a local contact he has so that all carbon items could be professionally sanded down and prepared for the paint. Approx 19grams of paint were used for this derailleur and it was a ‘first’ for Dave so he had bags of enthusiasm on this project.

You’ve got to agree that the finished item (below) looks superb.

Once the above bits had been sprayed and rebuilt they were shipped back to Saudi Arabia where I added those red

Nob Off...the back Custom Upgrades - Paint you say...

He has just completed a project for a museum where he was

contact he has so that all carbon items could be

jockey pivot bolt and the superb 100% Ceramic Tiso jockey wheels, again in red just to set it off. A red gear cable adjuster will be added later.

I think you will agree the finished product looks awesome and stands out from the crowd!!

With this in mind I would like to thank Dave Sem for the time consuming work he has put in and would invite you all to visit his website for ideas. Address any enquiry to him directly and look at his website at:

http://www.semcustompaint.com/

… then get that new look for your tt machine

Sir Nob of Two Ghiblis


Documents

The Testing Times - November 2009