The V I C A R - Forgotten Books you been bred apprentice to the bu ... of gentility afﬁxed to the character of an ... you pu blifhed your para doxes; well,

“0000m m wm m m om m m m aom oonoooom oqooom owoom m‘

C H A P . I .

The hi ltory of a philofophic vagabond ,

pu rfu ing novelty, but lofing content .

FTER we had fu pped, Mrs . Arnold

poli tely offered to fend a couple of

her footmen for my fon’s baggage

,which

he at firl’t feem ed to decline ; but upon

her prefling the requ e l’r,he was obliged to

inform her,that a {ti ck and a wallet were

all the moveable things upon this earth that

,he could boalt of. Why

,aye my

fon,

” cried I,you left me but poor

,

and poor I find you are come back ;and yet I make no doubt you have

feen a great deal of the world .

”

Yes,Sir

,

” repl ied my (on,but travel

l ing after fortune,i s not the way to fe

V OL. II . B cure

2 The VICAR of WAKEFIELD .

cure her and,indeed

,of late

,I have

defifi ed from the pu rfu i t .

”I fancy,

Sir,

” cried Mrs . Arnold, “that the a c

count of your adventures would be amu

fing : the firft part of them I have often

heard from my niece ; but could the

company prevail for the ref’t , it would be

an additional obligation .

” Madam ,

”

replied my fon,

I can prom ife you the

plcafu re you have in hearing, will

not be half fo great as my vanity in the

recital and yet in the whole narrative I

can fcarce prom ife you one adventure,as

my account is not of what I did,but

what I faw. The hrf’cmisfortune ofmy lifewhich you all know

,was great ; but tho

it difire i’t,it could not fink me . No perfon

ever had a better knack at hoping than I .

The lefs kind I found fortune then , the

more I expected from her another time,

and being nowat the bottom ofher wheel,

every new revolution might l ift,but

could not deprefs me . I proceeded,

therefore,towards London in a fine

morn

The VI CAR of WAK EF I EL D . 3

morning,no way uneafy about to—mor

row,but chearfu l as the birds that ca ro ll

'

d

by the road . I comforted m yfe lf with

various refleftiori s , that London was the

true mart where abil it ies of every kind

were fure of meeting difiinét ion and

reward .

Upon my arrival in town,Sir

,my firf’t

care was to del iver your letter of recom

m enda t ion to ou r cou fin,who was him fe lf

in little better circum f’tances than me .My firft fchem e

,you know

,Sir

,was to

be ufli er at an academy,and I afked his

advice on the affair . Our cou fin receivedthe propofa l with a true Sardonic grin .

Aye,cried he

,this is a pretty career,

indeed,that has been chalked ou t for

you . I have been once an u fher at a

boarding fchool m yfe lf ; and may I die by

an anodyne necklace,but I had rather be

an under turnkey in Newgate . I was up

early and late : I wa s brow- beat by the

m afier,hated for my ugly face by the m if

B 2 trefs,

The VICAR of WAKEF I EL D .

t refs,worried by the boys within

,and

never permitted to ftir out to meet civil ity

abroad . But are you fure you are fit for

a fchool ? Let me examine you a l ittle .Have you been bred apprentice to the

bu finefs ? No . Then you won ’t do for

a fchool . Can you drefs the boys hair ?

No Then you won ’t do for a fchool .Have you had the fm a ll—pox

? No . Then

you won ’t do for a fchool . Can you liethree in a bed ? No . Then you will never

do for a fchool . Have you got a good

ftom ach ? Yes . Then you will by nomeans do for a fchool . No

,Sir

,if

you are for a genteel ea fy profefli on,

bind you rfelf feven years as an ap

prentice to.

turn a cutler ’s wheel ; but

avoid a fchoo l by any means . But come ,continued he

,I fee you are a lad of fpi

rit and fome learning,what do you think

of commencing author, l ike me ? You

have read in books,no doubt

,of men of

genius {tarving at the trade : but at pre

fent I ’ l l fhewyou forty very dull fellowsabout

about town that l ive by it in opulence .

Al l honeft jogg tro tm en,who go on

fm oothly and dully, and write hiftoryand politics

,and are pra ifed ; and who ,

had they been bred coblers,would al l

their l ives have only mended Ihoes,but

never made them .

Finding that there was no great degree

of gentility affixed to the character of an

u fher,I refolved to accept his propofa l

and having the highef’c refpe é

‘

t for l i tera

ture,

I hailed the antiqua mate of

Grub—fireet with reverence . I thought it

my glory to pu rfu e a track which Dry

den and Otway trod before me . In fact,

I confidered the goddefs of this regionas the parent of excellence and however an intercou rfe with the world might

give us good fenfe,the poverty {he grant

ed was the nu rfe of genius ! Big with

thefe reflect ions,

I fate down,and find

ing that the belt things remained to befaid on thewrong fide

,I refolved to write

B 3“a

6 The VI CAR of WAKEF I ELD .

a book that fhou ld be wholly new . I

therefore dre lt up three paradoxes with

fome ingenuity . They were fa lfe,in

deed,but they were new. The j ewels

of truth have been fo often imported

by others,that nothing was left for me to

Import but fome fp lendid things that at adiltance looked every bit as well . Wit

nefs you powers what fancied importance

fate perched upon my quil l while I was

writing . The whole learned world,

I

made no dou bt,would rife to oppofe my

fyftem s but then I was prepared to

oppofe the whole learned world . Lik e

the porcupine I fa te felf collected,with

a quill pointed aga inft every oppofer .

”

Well faid,my boy

,cried I

,and

what fu bj eét did you treat upon ? I hope

you did not pafs over the importance ofHierardica l monogamy . But I inter

rupt, go on ; you pu bl ifhed your paradoxes ; well, and what did the learned

world fay to your paradoxes ?

Sir,replied my fon

,the learned

world faid nothing to my paradoxes ;nothing at all

,Sir . Every man of

them was employed in pra ifing his

friends and him fe lf,or condemning his

enemies ; and unfortunately, as I had

neither,

I fu ffered the cru elleft m ort ifi

cation,neglect.

As I was meditating one day in a coffee

hou fe on the fate of my paradoxes, a little

man happening to enter the room,placed

him fe lf in the box before me, and after

fome preliminary d ifcou rfe,finding me

to be a fcholar,drewou t a bundle of

propofa ls, begging me to fu bfcribe to a

new edition he was going to give the

world of Propertius,with notes . This

demand necefl’

a rily produced a reply that

that I had no money ; and that concef

fion led him on to enquire into the na

ture of my expectations . Finding that

my expectations were ju ft as great as my

pu rfe , I fee,cried he

, you’

a re unac

B 3 qu a inted

8 The V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

qu a inted with the town, I’ l l teach you

a part of it . Look at thefe propofa ls,upon thefe very propofa ls I have fub

fifted very comfortably for twelve years .

The moment a nobleman returns from his

travels,a Creol ian arrives fi om Jamaica,

or a dowager from her country feat, I

{trike for a fubfcript ion. I firft befiege

their hearts with flattery,and then pour

in my propofa ls at the breach . If they

fu bfcribe readily the firft t ime, I renewmy requ eft to beg a dedication fee . If

they let me have that,I fm ite them once

more for engraving their coat of arms

at the top . Thus,continued he

,I l ive

by vanity,and laugh at it . But between

ou rfelves,

I am now too well known,

I

fhou ld be glad to borrow your face a

a bit : a nobleman of d ifiinét ion has ju ft

returned from Italy ; my face is familiar

to his porter but if you bring this co

py of verfes,my l ife for it you fu cceed ,

and we divide the fpo il .”

The VI CAR of WAKEF I EL D . 9

Blefs us,George

,cried I

,

“and is

that the employment of poets now ! Do

men of their exalted talents thus ftoopto beggary ! Can they fo fa r d ifgrace

their call ing,as to make a vile traffic of

pra ife for bread ?

0 no,Sir

,returned he

,a true po

et can never be fo bafe ; for wherever

there i s genius there is pride . The crea

tures I now defcribe are only beggars in

rhyme . The real poet,as he braves

every hardihip for fame, fo he is equally

a coward to contempt,and none bu t

thofe who are unworthy protection con

defcend to folicit it .

Having a mind t oo proud to {toop

to fu ch indignities,and yet a fortune too

humble to hazard a fecond attempt for

fame,I was now obliged to take a mid

dle cou rfe,and write for bread . Bu t I

was unqual ified for a profefii on where

mere indufiry alone could enfu re fu ccefs .

B 5“ I

I O The VI CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

I could not fu pprefs my lurking pafii on

for applau fe but u fu a lly confum ed that

time in efforts after excellence which

takes up but l ittle room,when it fhou ld

have been more advantageou fly employed in the diffufive product ions of fruitful

mediocrity. My little piece would

come forth in the m ift of periodical pub

l ica t ion,unnoticed and unknown The

public were more importantly employed,

than to obferve the eafy’

fim plicitv of my

f’tyle , or the harmony of my periods .

Sheet after fheet wa s thrown off to ob

livion. My effays were buried among

the effays upon liberty, eaftern tales, andcures for the bite of a mad dog ; while

Philau tos,Phila le thes

,Phi lelu theros

,and

Philanthropos , all wrote better, becau fe

they wrote fa fter,than I .

Now,therefore

,I began to affo cia te

with none but d ifappo inted authors, l ike

m yfelf, who pra ifed , deplored, and de

fpifed each other . The fa t isfa étion we

found

The V I CAR of WAKEFI ELD . 1 1

found in every celebrated writer’ s a t

tempts,was inverfely as their merits . I

found that no genius in another could

pleafe me . My unfortunate paradoxeshad entirely dried up that fou rce of com

fort . I could neither read nor write

with fa t isfa étion ; for excellence in an

other was my averfion,and writing was

my trade .

In the m idf’c of thefe gloomy reflec

tions,as I was one day fitting on a bench

in St . James’ s park, a young gentleman

of diftinét ion, who had been my inti

mate acquaintance a t the univerfity, ap

proached me . We fa lu ted each other

with fome hefi t a t ion,he a lm oft afham ed

of being known to one who made fo

fhabby an appearance , and I afraid of a

repu lfe . But my fu fp icions foon va

nifhed ; for Ned Thornhill was at the

bottom a very good- natured fellow .

What

1 2 The VI CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

What did vou fay, George ? inter

ru pted I . Thornhill,wa s not that his

name ? It can certainly be no other than

my landlord .

”Blefs me

,

” cried

Mrs . Arnold, “ is Mr . Thornhill fo

near a neighbour of yours ? He has

long been a friend in our family,and we

expect a vifit from him fhortly .

My fi iend ’s firft care, continued my

fon,was to alter my appearance by a

very fine fuit of his own cloa ths,and

then I was admitted to his table upon

the footing of half- fi iend,half- under

ling . My bufinefs was to attend him at

auctions,to put him in fp irits when he

fate for his picture,to take the left hand

in his chariot when not fil led by another,

and to affift at tattering a kip,as the

phra fe was, when we had a mind for a

frolic . Befide this,I had twenty other l ittle

employments in the family . I was to do

many fm a ll things without bidding ; to

carry the cork fcrew; to fi and godfatherto

The V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D . 1 3

to all the butler’ s children ; to fingwhen I was bid to be never ou t of hu

mour ; always to be humble, and , if I

could,to be happy .

In this honourable poft,however

,I was

not without a rival . A captain of ma

rines,who feem ed formed for the place

by nature,oppofed me in my patron

’ s

affections . His mother had been laundrefsto a man of quality

,and thus he early

acquired a tafi e for pimping and pedi

gree . As this gentleman made it the flu

dy of his l ife to be acquainted with lords,

though he was d ifm iffed from fevera l for

his fiu p idity ; yet he found many of themwho permitted his a ffi du it ies

,being as

dull as him felf. As flattery was his trade,

he pra ét ifed i t with the eafi eft addrefs

imaginable but it came au kwa rd and{t iff from me and as every day my pa

tron ’s defire of flattery encreafed,fo eve

ry hour being better acquainted with his

defects,I became more unwilling to give

It .

14. The V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

i t. Thus I was once more fairly going

to give up the field to the captain,when

my friend found occafion fo r my a ffif

tance . This was nothing lefs than to fight

a duel for him ,with a gentleman whofe

filter it was pretended he had u fed ill . I

readily complied with his requ eft, and

tho’ I fee you are difpleafed at my conduct ,yet as i t was a debt indifpenfably due tofr iendfhip , I could not refu fe . I under

took the affair,d ifa rm ed my antagoni ft,

and foon after had the pleafu re of find

ing that the lady was only a woman of

the town,and the fellow her bully and

a fh arper . This piece of fervice was re

paid with thewa rm eft profeffi ons of gra

t itu de ; but as my friend was to leave

town in a fewdays,he knew no other

method to ferve me,but by recommend

ing me to his uncle Sir William Thorn

hill,and another nobleman of great d if

tinction,who enj oyed a poft under the

government . When he was gone,my

firft care was to carry his recom m enda

tory

https://www.forgottenbooks.com/join

1 6 The V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

As the doors of the nobil ity are a lm oft

ever befe t with beggars,all ready to

thru ft in fome fly petition , I found it noeafy matter to gain admittance . However

,after bribing the fervants with half

my worldly fortune,I was at laft fhewn

into a fpa ciou s apartment , my letter b

ing previou fly fent up for his lordfhip’

s

infpe ét ion. During this anxious interval

I had full time to look round me . Eve

ry thing was grand, and of happy con

trivance : the paintings,the furniture

,

the gildings,petrified me with awe

,and

ra ifed my idea of the owner. Ah,

thought I to m yfelf, how very great m u ft

he pofl'

effor of all thefe things be,who

ies in his head the bu finefs of the

and whofe hou fe d ifplays half thei t h of a kingdom : fure his genius m u tt

hibe unfathomable ' During thefe awfult iné fleétions I heard a ftep come heavily

goveward . Ah,this is the great man him

firft C No,i t was only a chambermaid .

her foot was heard foon after . This

m u ft

The V I CAR of WAK h '

q ELD , 1 9

m u ft be He ! No , i t was only fiom if’

e of

man ’s valet de cham bre . At la lt t hey

lordfh ip actually made his appearance .

Are y ou ,cried he

,the bearer of this

here letter ? I anfwered with a bow. I

learn by this,continued he

,as howthat

But j u ft at that inftant a fervant delivered

him a card,and without taking farther no

tice,he went ou t of the room,

and left me

to digeft my ownhappinefs at le ifu re . I fawno more of him

,til l told by a footman

that his lordfhip was going to his coach

at the door . Down I immediately fo l

lowed,and j oined my voice to that of

three or four more,who came

,l ike me

,

to petition for favours . His lordfh ip ,however, went too fa ft for us, and was

gaining his Chariot doo r with large ftri

des,when I hallowed ou t to know if I was

to have any reply. He was by this t ime

got in , and muttered an anfwer, half of

which only I heard,the other half was

loft in the rattl ing of his chariot wheels .

I ftood for fome t ime with my neck

ftre tched

1 6 T’

ed out,in the poftu re of one that

A

! as l i ftening to ca tch the glorious founds,til l looking round me

,I found m yfe lf

alone at his lordfh ip’

s gate .

My patience,continued my fon

,

“was

now quite exhau fted : ftung with the

thou fan‘

d indignities I had met with,

I

was will ing to ca ft m yfe lf away, and o h

ly wanted the gulph to receive me . I

regarded m yfelf as one of thofe vi le

things that nature defigned fhou ld be

thrown by into her lumber room,there

to perifh in unpitied obfcu rity . I had

ftill,however

,half a guinea left

,and of

that I thought fortune herfelf fhou ld not

deprive me : but in order to be fa re of this,

I was refo lved to go inftantly and fpend i t

while I had it,and then tru ft to occur

rences for the reft. As I was going

along with this refolu t ion, it happened

that Mr . Cripfe’

s office feem ed invitingly

open to give me a welcome reception . In

this office Mr . Cripfe kindly offers all his

ma

( C

( C

( C

( C

The V I CAR of WAK EF I EL D . 1 9

m ajefty’

s fubj e éts a generous prom ife of

30 l . a year, for which prom ife all they

give in return is their l iberty for l ife,and

perm ifii on to let him tranfport them to

America as flaves . I was happy at find

ing a place where I could lofe my fears

in defpera t ion, and therefore entered this

cell ; for it had the appearance of one ,being dark

,damp

,and dirty . Here I

found a number of poor creatures,all in

circum ftances l ike m yfe lf, expect ing the

arrival of Mr. Cripfe , prefent ing a

true epitome of Englifh impatience .

Each untractable foul at variance withfortune

,wreaked her inj uries on their

own hearts : but Mr . Cripfe at laft came

down,and all ou r murmurs were bu fh

ed . He deigned to regard me with an air

ofpeculiar approbation,and indeed hewas

( 6

the firft man who for a m onth pa ft talked to me with fm i les . After a fewqu eft ions

,he found I was fit for every thing

‘ in the world . He pau fed a while upon

the propereft means of providing for me ,and

20 The V I CAR of WAKEF I ELD .

and flapping his forehead,as if he had

found it,affured me

,that there was at

that time an em baffy talked of from the

fynod of Penfylvania to the ChickafawIndians

,and that he would u fe his inte

reft to get me made fecreta ry. I knewin my ownheart that the fellow lied

,and

yet his prom ife gave me pleafu re , there

was fom e thing fo magnificent in the

found . I fairly,therefore

,divided m y

half guinea,one half of which went to

be added to his thirty thou fand pound,andwith the other half I refo lved to goto the next tavern

,to be there more

happy than he .

As I was going out with that refo lu t ion,

I was met at the door by the captain of

a fh ip , with whom I had formerly fome

little acquaintance,and he agreed to be

my companion over a bowl of punch .

As I never chofe to make a fecre t of mycircum ftances

,he affu red me that I wa s

upon the very point of ruin,in l iftening

( C(20


to the office - keepe r’ s prom ife s ; for that

he only defigned to fel l me to the plan

ta t ions . But,continued he

,I fancy you

might,by a much fh orter voyage, be ve

ry eafily put into a genteel way of bread .

Take my advice . My fhip fails to—mor

rowfor Am fterdam What if you go in

her as a paffenger ? The moment you

land all you have to do is to teach the

Dutchmen Englifh , and I’l l warrant

you’ l l get pupils and money enough . I

fu ppofe you underftand Englifh,added

he,by this time

,or the deuce Is In It . I

confidently affu red him of that but ex

preffed a doubt whether the Dutch would

be will ing to learn Englifh . He affirmed

with an oath that they were fond of i t to

d iftra étion and upon that affirmation I

agreed with his propofa l, and embarked

the next day to teach the Dutch Englifh

in Holland . The wind was fair,our

voyage fhort,and after having paid my

pafl’

age with half my moveables , I foundm yfelf, fallen as if from the fl<ies , a

ftranger

2 2 The VI CAR of WAKEF I ELD .

ftranger in one of the principal ftreets of

Am fterdam In this fitu a t ion I was un

will ing to let any time pafs unemployed

in teaching . I addreffed m yfelf there

fore to two or three of those I met,whofeappearance feem ed m oft prom ifing ; but

it was im pofii ble to make ou rfelves m u

tu a lly underftood . It was not ti ll this

very moment I recollected,that in order

to teach Dutchmen Englifh, i t was necef

fary that they fhou ld firft teach me Dutch .

How I came to overlook fo obvious an

obj ection , is to me amazing ; but certain

it is I overlooked it .

This fchem e thus blown up,I had

fome thoughts of fairly fhipping back

to England again ; but happening into

company with an Irifh ftu dent,who wa s

returning from Louvain,ou r converfa t ion

turning upon topics of l iterature, (for

by the way it ‘ may be obferved, that I

always forgot the m eannefs of my circum ftances when I could converfe upon

fu ch



convince him,by turning a part of any

Greek author he fhou ld fix upon into Latin . F inding me perfeét lv earneft in my

prOpofa l, he addreffed me thus : ! ou fee

me,young man

,continued he

,I never

learned Greek,and I don ’t find that I

ever miffed it . I have had a doctor’ s capand gown without Greek : I have ten

thou fand florins a year without Greek

and I eat heartily without Greek . In

fhort, continued he, I don

’t know Greek,

and I do not believe there is any u fe

in it .

Iwa s now too fa r from home to thinkof returning ; fo I refolved to go for

ward . I had fome knowledge of m u fi c,

with a tolerable voice,and now turned

what was once my am u fem ent into a prefent means of bare fubfiftence I paffedamong the harm lefs peafants of Flanders,and among fu ch‘

of the French as were

poor enough to be very merry ; for I

ever


ever found them fprightly in proportion

to their wants . Whenever I approached

a peafant’

s hou fe towards night- fall,I

played one of my m oft merry tunes,

and that procured me not only a lodging,

but fubfiftence for the next day. I

once or twice attempted to play for people

offafh ion but they fti ll thought my per

form ance odious,and never rewarded me

even with a trifle . This was to me the

more extraordinary,as whenever I u fed

formerly to play for company,when

playing was my am u fem ent,my m ufic

never failed to throw them into raptures .and the ladies efpecia lly ; but as it was

now my only means,i t was received with

contempt : a proof how ready the world

is to under rate thofe ta lents which a man

lives by.

In this manner I proceeded to Paris,

with no defignbut ju ft to look about me,and then to go forward . The people of

VOL . I I . C Paris


Paris are much fonder of ftrangers thathave money

,than of thofe that have

wit . You may imagine then,as I could

no t boaft much of either,that I was no

great favourite . After I had walked

about the town four or five days,and

feen the ou tfides of the beft hou fes, I

was preparing to leave this retreat of ve

nal hofp ita lity, when pafling through one

of the principal ftreets,whom fhou ld I

meet but our cou fin,to whom y ou firft

recommended me . This meeting was

very agreeable to me,and I bel ieve not

difpleafing to him . He enqu ired into

the nature of my j ourney to Paris,and informed me of his bufinefs there

,

which was to collect pictures,medals

,in

t aglios, and antiques of all kinds, for a

gentleman in London,who had ju lt ftept

into t afte and a large fortune . Iwa s ftillmore fu rprifed at feeing our cou finpitch

ed upon for this office, as him felf had

often affu red me he knew nothing of the

matter .


matter. Upon my afking how he had

been taught the art of a connofcento fo

very fuddenly, he affu red me that no

thing was more eafy. The whole fecret

confifted in a ftr iét adherence to two rules

the one always to obferve , that the pic

ture might have been better if the pain

ter had taken more pains ; and the other,to pra ife the works of Pietro Perug ino .

But,fays he, as I once taught you how

to be an author in London,I ’ l l now

undertake to inftru é t you in the art of

picture buying at Paris .

With this propofa l I very readily

clofed , as it was a l iving, and now al l

my ambition was to l ive . I went there

fore to his lodgings,improved my drefs

by his affi ftance,and after fome time

,

accompanied him to auctions of pictures,

where the Englifh gentry were expectedto be pu rchafers . Iwa s not a l ittle fu rprifed at his intimacy with people of the

C 2 beft

28 The VICAR of WAKEF I EL D .

beft fa fhion,who referred them fe lves to

his j udgment upon every picture or medal

,as to an unerring ftanda rd of t afte .

He made very good u fe of my afli ftance

upon thefe occafions ; for when afked

his opinion,he would gravely take me a

fide,and a fk mine

,fhrug, look wife, t e

turn,and affure the company

,that he

could give no opinion upon an affair of

fo much importance . Yet there was

fom et im es an o ccafion for a more fupported aflu rance . I remember to havefeen him

,after giving his opinion that

the colouring of a picture wa s not mellow enough

,very del iberately take a

bru fh with brown varnifh,that was acci

dentally lying in the place,and rub it

over the piece with great com pofu re before all the company

,and then afk if he

had not improved the t ints .

When he had finifh ed his com m iffi on

in Paris,he left me ftrongly recommend

Cd

The VI CAR of WAK EFI E L D . 29

ed to fevera l men ofd iftinétion, as a perfon

very proper for a travelling tutor ; and I

was after fome time employed in that capa

city by a gentleman who brought his ward

to Paris,in order to fet him forward on

his tour through Europe . I was to be

the young gentleman ’s governor,with

this inj unct ion,that he fhou ld always be

permitted to direct him fe lf. My pupi l

in fact underftood the art of guiding i n

money concerns much better than me .

He was heir to a fortune of about two

hundred thou fand pounds,left him by

an uncle in the Weft Indies ; and his

guardians,to qual ify him for the ma

nagem ent of i t,had bound him appren

tice to an attorney. Thus avarice was

his prevailing pafli on: all his qu eftions

on the road were how money might be

faved , which was the leaft expenfive

cou rfe of travel ; whether any thing could

be bought that would turn to accountwhen d ifpofed of again in London .

C 3 Such

30 The V I CAR of WAKEFI ELD .

Such cu riofit ies on the way as cou ld be

feen for nothing he was ready enough to

look at but if the fight was to be paid

for,he u fu a lly afferted that he had been

told it was not worth feeing . He never

paid a bill,that he would not obferve

,

how amazingly expenfive travelling was,and all this though he was not yet come

to the age of twenty- one . When arrived

at Leghorn,as we took a walk to look

at the port and fhipping, he enquired

the expence of the paffage by fea home

to England . This he was informed was

but a trifle,compared to his returning

by land,he was therefore unable to

withftand the temptation fo paying me

the fm a ll part of my fala ry that was

then due,he took leave

,and embark

ed with only one attendant for Lon

don .

I now therefore was left once more u pon the world a t large

,but then it was

(C a



name for freedom ; and that no man is

fo fond of freedom him fe lf that he would

not chufe to fubject the will of fome in

dividu a ls of fociety to his own .

Upon my arrival in England,I refo lv

ed to pay my refpefts firft to you ,and

then to enlift as a volunteer in the firft

expedition that was fent out ; but on

my journey down my refolu t ions were

changed,by meeting an o ld a cqu a intace ,

who I found belonged to a company of

comedians,that were going to make a

fum m er campaign -in the country. The

company feem ed not much to d ifapproveof me for an affocia te They all

,how

ever,apprized me of the importance of

the t afk at which I aimed that the pub

lic was a many headed m onfter,and that

only fu ch as had very good heads could

pleafe it : that act ing was not to be learnt

in a day and that without fome traditi

onal fhrugs, which had been on“the

ftage ,


ftage , and only on the ftage , thefe hun

dred years,I could never pretend to

pleafe . The next diffi culty was in fit

ting me with parts,as a lm oft every cha

ra éter was in keeping . I was driven for

fome t ime from one character to another,

til l at laft Horatio was fixed upon,which

the prefence of the prefent company

happily hindered me from acting .

CH A P .

v am m m m m m m m wm om eooooowooeoooob om m ooooooooom ocoo

C H A P . II .

The fhort continuance of fi' iendfli ip a

m ongft the vicious, which is coeval only

with mutual fa t isfa étion.

Y fon ’s account was too long to be

del ivered at once,the firft part of

it was begun that night,and he was conclu

ding the reft after dinner the next day,when

the appearance of Mr . Thornb i ll ’s equi

page at the door feem ed to make a

pau fe in the general fa t isfa étion. The but

ler,who was nowbecome my friend in the

family,informed me with a whifper, that

the ’Squire had already made fome over

ture s to M ifs Wilmot, and that her aunt

and uncle feem ed highly to approve the

match .

36 The VICAR of WAKEF I E L D .

match . Upon Mr . Thornb il l ’s entering,

he feem ed, at feeing my fon and me, to

ftart back ; but I readily imputed that tofu rpriz e , and not d ifpleafu re . However

,

upon our advancing to fa lu te him,he re

turned our greeting wi th the m oft appa

rent candour ; and after a fhort time , his

prefence feem ed only to encreafe the general good humour .

After tea he called me afide, to enqu ireafter my daughter ; but upon my informinghim that my enquiry was unfu ccefsfu l

,he

feem ed greatly fu rprifed ; adding , that he

had been fince frequently at my house,in

order to comfort the reft of my family,

whom he left perfect ly well . He then

a fk ed if I had communicated her m isfor

tune to M ifs Wilmot , or my fon ; and uponmy replying that I had not told them a s

yet,he greatly approved my prudence and

precaution,defiring me by all means to

keep it a fecre t ° For at heft, cried he ,it is but divulging one ’s own infamy ;

and


and perhaps M ifs Livy may no t be fo

guilty as we all imagine .” We were herei nterrupted by a fervant

,who came to afk

t he’Squire in

,to ftand up at country dances ;

fo that he left me quite pleafed with the int ereft he feem ed to take in my concerns . Hisa ddreffes

,however

,to M ifsWilmot

,were too

o bvious to be m iftaken ; and yet fhe feem ed

not perfect ly pleafed, but bore them rather in

compliance to the will of her aunt,than

from real inclination . I had even the fatis

facti on to fee her lavifh fome kind looks

u pon my unfortunate fon,which the other

could neither extort by his fortune nor af

fi du ity. Mr. Thornhill ’s feem ing com pofu re

however,not a little fu rprifed me : we had

now continued here a week,at the preffing

inftances of Mr . Arnold but each day themore tendernefs M ifs Wilmot fh ewed myfon

,Mr . Thornb i ll ’s friendfhip feem ed pro

port ionably to encreafe for him .


He had formerly made us the m oft kind

a ffu rances of u fing his int ereft to ferve the

family ; but now his generofity was not con

fined to prom ifes alone : the morning I de

figned for mydeparture,Mr . Thornhill came

tomewith looks ofreal pleafu re to inform me

of a piece of fe tvice he had done for his

fr iend George . This was nothing lefs than his

having procured him an enfign’

s com m ifli on

in one of the regiments that was going tothe Weft Indies

,for which he had prom ifed

but one hundred pounds,his intereft having

been fu fli cient to get an abatement of the

other two . As for this trifling piece of

fervice,

” continued the young gentleman,

I defire no other reward but the pleafu reof having ferved my friend ; and as for

the hundred pound to be paid,if you are

unable to t aife it you rfelves, I will advance

it,and you fha ll repay me at your le ifu re .

”

This was a favour we wanted words to ex

prefs ou r fenfe of : I readily therefore

gave my bond for the money, and teftified

as


40 The VICAR of WAKEFI EL D

him in all but his misfortunes,if i t

was a misfortune to die with Lord Falkland . Go

,my boy

,and if you fall

,

tho’ d iftant,expofed and unwept by thofe

that love you,the m oft precious tears are

thofe with which heaven bedews the un

buried head of a fo ldier .

The next morning I took leave of the

good family,that had been kind enough to

entertain me fo long. not without fevera l

expreffi ons of gratitude to Mr . Thornhillfor his late bounty . I left them in the eh

j oym ent of all that happinefs which afli u

ence and good breeding procure,and re

turned towards home,defpa iring of ever

finding my daughter more,but fending a

figh to heaven to fpare and to forgive her.

I was now com e within about twenty miles

of home,having hired an horfe to carry

me . as I was yet but weak, and comforted

m yfelf with the hopes of foon feeing allI held deareft upon earth . But the night

com

The VICAR of WAK EF I EL D .

coming on,I put up at a l ittle publ ic- hou fe

by the road- fide,and afked for the land

lord’s company over a pint of wine . We

fate befide his kitchen fire,which was the

beft room in the hou fe,and chatted on po

lit ics and the news of the country . We

happened,among other topics

,to talk of

young ’Squire Thornhill,whom the hoft af

fured mewas hated as much as an uncle ofhis,who fom et im es came down to the country,was loved . He went on to obferve

,that he

made it his whole ftu dy to betray the daugh

ters of fu ch as received h im to their hou fes,and after a fortnight or three weeks poffefi i on,he turned them ou t unrewarded and aban

dou ed to the world . As we continued ou r

d ifcou rfe in this manner,his wife

,who had

been ou t to get change,returned

,and per

ce iving that her hu fband was enj oying a

pleafu re in which fhe was no t a fha rer, fhe

aflced him,in an angry tone

,what he did

there,to which he only replied in an ironi

cal way,by drinking her health . Mr.

Sym

The VI CAR of WAKEF I E L D .

Symmonds,cried fhe

,you u fe me

very ill,and I ’ ll bear it no longer . Here

three parts of the bu finefs is left for me

to do,and the fourth left unfinifhed ;

while you do nothing but foak with the

guefts all day long, whereas if a fpoon

fu l of l iquor were to cure me of a fever,I never touch a drop .

” I now found

what fhe would be at,and immediately

poured her ou t a glafs, which fhe received

with a cu rtefy, and drinking towards my

good health,Sir

,refum ed fhe

,

“i t i s

not fo much for the value of the l iquor

I am angry,but one cannot help it

,

when the hou fe is going ou t of the win

dows . If the cu ftom ers or gu efts are to

be dunned,all the burthen lies upon my

back,he ’d as lief eat that glafs as budge

after them him felf. There now above

fta irs,we have a young woman who

has come to take up her lodgingshere

,and I don ’t believe fhe has got any

money by her over- civility. I am certain

{he

The V I CAR of WAK EFI EL D . 43

fhe is very flow of payment and I wifhfhe were put in mind of it . What

fignifies minding her,” cried the hoft

,

if fhe be flow,fhe is fure .” I don

’

t

know that,

” repl ied the wife ;“but I know

that I am fure fhe has been here a fort

night,and we have not yet feen the crofs

of her money . I fuppofe , m y

dear,cried he we fha ll have it all

in a lump .

” In a lump !” cried the

other, I hope we may get it any way ; and

that I am refolved we fha ll this very

night , or out fh e tramps,bag and bag

gage .”

the hu fb and,

fhe i s a gentlewoman,and

deferves more refpect .

”As for the

matter of that,

” returned the hoftefs,gentle or fimple

,ou t fhe fha ll pack with

Confider, my dear,” cried

a faffa rara . Gentry may be good things

where they take but for my part I ne

ver fawmuch good of them at the fignofthe Harrow .

-Thus faying,fhe ran up a

narrow flight offta irs,that went from the kit

chen

44 The VICAR of WAKEF I ELD .

chen to a room oven-head,and I foon perce iv

ed by the lou dnefs of her voice, and the bit

t ernefs of her reproaches, that no money wasto be had from her lodger . I could hear her

rem onftrances very diftinctly : Out I fay,pack ou t this moment

,tramp thou infa

mous ftrum pet , or I’ ll give thee a mark

thou won ’t be the better for this three

months . What ! you trumpery, to come

and take up an honeft hou fe,without

crofs or coin to blefs you rfelfwith ; come

along I fay. O dear madam,

”

cried the ftranger, pity me,pity a poor

abandoned creature for one night,and

deathwil l foon do the reft I inftantly knew the voice of my poor ruined child

Olivia . I flew to her refcu e,while the woman

was dragging her along by the hair,and

caught the dear forlorn wretch in my

arms . Welcome,any way welcome

,

my deareft loft one , my treafu re , to your

poor old father’s bofom . Tho’ the vici

ou s forfake thee,there is yet one in the

world


world that will never forfake thee ; tho’

thou hadft ten thou fand crimes to an

fwer for,he will forget them all .”

O my own dear— for minutes fhe could

no more my own deareft good papa !Could angels be kinder ! How do I de

ferve fo much ! The villain , I hate him

and m yfelf, to be a reproach to fu ch good

nefs . You can ’t forgive me . I knowYes

,my child

,fromyou cannot .

my heart I do forgive thee ! Only re

pent,and we both fha ll yet be happy.

We fha ll fee many pleafant days yet, my

Olivia !” Ah ! never,fir

,never.

The reft ofmy wretched l ife m u ft be in

famy abroad and fham e at home . But,

alas ! papa, you look much paler than

you u fed to do . Could fu ch a thing as

I am give you fo much uneafinefs ? Sureyou have too muchwifdom to take them iferies of my guil t upon you rfe lf.

”

Ourwifdom ,young woman

,

” repl ied I .

Ah,why fo cold a name, papa ?

”

cried ;


cried fhe . This is the firft time you ever

called me by fo cold a name . Iafk pardon

,my darling

,

” returned I ;but I was going to obferve

,that wifdom

makes but a flow defence aga inft trou

ble,though at laft a fure one .

”

The landlady now returned to know

i f we did not chufe a more genteel

apartment,to which affent ing, we were

fhewn a room,where we could converfe

more freely . After we had talked ou rfelves

into fome degree of tranquill ity,I could

no t avoid defiring fome account of the gradations that led to her prefent wretched fi

t u a t ion. That villain,

fir,faid fhe

,

fi'

om the firft day of our meeting made me

honourable,though private

, propofa ls .

”

Villain indeed,cried I and yet it

in fome m eafu re fu rpriz es me, how a

perfon of Mr . Bu rchell ’s good fenfe and

feem ing honour could be gui lty of fu chdeliberate bafenefs and thus ftep into a

family to undo it . My


48 The V I CAR of WAK EF I EL D .

! ou amaze me, my dear, cried I ;but nowI find my firft fu fpicions ofMr .Thornhill

’

s bafenefs were too well

grounded : but he can triumph in fecu

rity ; for he is rich and we are poor .

But tell me , my child, fure it was no

fm a ll temptation that could thus oblite

rate all the im prefli ons of fu ch an edu

cation,and fo virtuous a d ifpofit ion a s

thine .”

Indeed,Sir

,repl ied fhe

,he owes all

his triumph to the defire I had of makinghim

,and not m yfelf, happy . I knew

that the ceremony of ou r marriage,which

was privately performed by a popifh

prieft, was no way binding, and that I

had nothing to tru ft to but his honour .

What,

” interrupted I,and were you

indeed married by a prieft, and in or

ders

plied fh e,though we were both fworn to

Why then,my

child,

“Indeed,Sir

,we were

,

”t e

conceal his name .”

The V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D . 49

child, come to my arms again , and now

you are a thou fand times more welcome

than before ; for you are nowhis wifeto all intents and pu rpofes ; nor can all

the laws of man,tho ’ written upon tables

of adamant,leffen the force of that fa

cred

Alas,Papa

,repl ied fhe

,you are

but lit tle acquainted with his villainies °

he has been married already,by the

fame prieft, to fix or eight wives more ,whom

,l ike me

,he has deceived and

abandonedf’

Has he fo ?” cried I,then we m u ft hang

the prieft, and you fha ll inform aga inft him

to—morrow.

” But Sir,

” returned fhe ,will that be right

,when I am fworn to fe

crecy ? My dear,

”I replied, if you

have made fu ch a pr,

om ife,I cannot

,norwill

not,tempt you to break it . Even tho’ it

may benefit the public,

‘

you m u ft not in

form aga inft him . In all human inftitu

VOL . I I . D tions

50 The VI CAR of WAKEFI ELD .

tions a fm a ller evil is allowed to procure

a greater good ; as in politics, a province

may be given away to fecu re a kingdom ;in medicine

,a l imb may be lopt off

, to

preferve the body . But in religion the

law is written,and inflexible

,never to do

evil . And this law,my child

,is right

for o therwife,if we commit a fm a ller

evil,to procure a greater good

,certain

guilt would be t hus incurred“;in expec

t a t ion of contingent advantage . And

though the advantage fhou ld certainlyfollow

,yet the interval between com m if

fion and advantage,which is allowed to

be guilty,may be that in which we are

called away to anfwer for the things wehave done

,and the volume of human

act ions is clofed for ever . But I interrupt

you,my dear

,go on.

”

The very next morning,continued

fhe,

“I found what l ittle expectations Iwasto have from his fincerity . That very

morn


morning he introduced me to two un

happy women more,whom

,l ike me,

he had deceived,but who l ived ‘ in con

tented proftitu t ion. I loved him too ten

derly to bear fu ch rivals in his affect ions,and ftrove to forget my infamy in a tu

mult of ple afu res . With this view, I

danced, dreffed , and talked ; but ftill

was unhappy. The gentlemen who

vifited there told me every moment of

the power of my charms,and this only

contributed to encreafe my melancholy,as I had thrown all their power

quite away . Thus each day,

I grew

more penfive , and he more infolent , tillat laft the m onfter had the affu rance to

offer me to a young Baronet of his a c

quaintance . Need I defcribe , Sir, how

his ingratitude ftung me . My an

fwer to this propofa l was a lm oft mad

nefs . I defired to part . As I was go

ing he offered me a pu rfe ; but I flung it

at him with Indignation,and bu rft from

D 2 him

52 The VI CAR of WAKEFI E LD .

him in a rage,that for a while kept me

infenfible of the m iferies of my fitu a t ion.

But I foon looked round me,and faw

m yfelf a vile, abj ect, guilty thing, with

ou t one friend in the world to apply to .

Ju ft in that interval, a ftage- coach

happening to pafs by, I took a place,it being my only aim to be driven at a

c‘ d iftance from a wretch I defp ifed

and detefted . I was fe t down here ,where

,fince my arrival

,my own anxiety

,

and this woman’s unk indnefs,have been

my only companions . The hours of

pleafu re that I have paffed with my

mamma and fifter nowgrow painful tome . Their forrows are much ; but mineis greater than theirs ; for mine is guilt

and infamy .

Have patience,my child

,cried I

and I hope things will yet be better.

Take fome repofe to- night, and to- m or

row


row I ’ll carry you home to your mother

and the reft of the family, from whom

you wil l receive a kind reception . Poor

woman,this has gone to her heart : but

fhe loves you ftill, Olivia,’ and will

get it .”

C H A P.


56 The VI CAR of WAKEF I E LD .

my affections,and that during my life,

which yet might be long,fhe might depend

upon a guardian and an inftructor . I armed

her aga inft the cenfu res of the world, fhewed her that books were fweet unreproaching companions to the m iferable

,and that

if they could not bring us to enj oy life,

they would teach us to endure it .

The hired horfe that we rode was to be

put up that night at an inn by the way,

within about five miles from my hou fe,and

as I was willing to prepare my family for

my daughter ’s reception,I determined to

leave her that night at the inn, and to come

for her,accompanied by my daughter So

phia,early the next morning . It was night

before we reached our appointed ftage

however,after feeing her provided with a

decent apartment,and having ordered the

hoftefs to prepare proper refrefhm ents,I

k iffed her,and proceeded towards home .

My heart caught new fenfa t ions of pleafu re

the

The VI CAR of WAKEFI EL D . 57

the nearer I approached that peacefu l

m anfion. As a bird that has been fright

ed fi om its neft,my affect ions out-went

my hafte,and hovered round my little fire

fide,with all the rapture of expectation . I

called up the many fond things I had to

fay, and anticipated the welcome I was to

receive . I already felt my wife ’s tender em

brace,and fm iled at the j oy of my little

ones . -As I walked but flowly, the nightwarned apace . The labourers of the day

were all retired to reft ; the lights were ou tin every cottage ; no founds were heard but

of the fhrilling cock, and the deep- mouthed

watch—dog,at hollow diftance . I approach

ed my little abode of pleafu re , and before

I was within a furlong of the place,our

honeft m aftiff came running to welcome

me .

It was now near mid- night that I came

to knock at my door : all was ftill and fi

lent : my heart dilated with unutterable hap

D 5 pinefs ,


pinefs, when, to my amazem ent, the houfe

was bu rfting out in a blazei

of fire,and

every appertu re was red with conflagra t ion !

I gave a loud convu lfive outcry, and fell

upon the pavement infenfible . This alarmed my fon

,who perceiving the flames

,in

ftantly waked my wife and daughter, and

all running out,naked

,and wild with ap

prehenfion, recalled me to l ife with their

angu ifh . But it was only to obj ects o f new

terror ; for the flames had,by this time

,

caught the roof of ou r dwell ing,part after

part continuing to fall in,while the family

ftood,with filent agony

,looking on

,as if

they enj oyed the blaze . I ga z ed upon them

and upon it by turns, and then looked round

me for my two little ones ; but they were not

to be seen . O m ifery ! Where,

” cried I,

where are my lit tle'

ones ?” They

are burnt to death in the flames,

”fays

my wife calmly,and I will die with

them . That moment I heard the

cry of the babes within,who were ju ft awak

ed


ed by the fire and nothing could have

ftopped me . Where,where

,are my

children ?” cried I,ru fhing through the

flames,and bu rfting the door of the cham

ber in which they were confined,Where

Here,dear

papa,here we are

,cried they together,

are my little ones ?”

while the flames were ju ft catching the bedwhere they lay . I caught them both Inmy

arms,and fna tched them through the fire

as faft as poffi ble , while ju ft as I was gotou t

,the roof funk in . Now

,cried I

,

holding. up my children,now let the flames

burn on, and all my poffeffi ons perifh .

Here they are,I have faved my treafu re .

Here, my dea reft, here are ou r treafu res,and we fha ll yet be happy . We ki lfed

ou r l ittle darlings a thou fand t imes,they

clafped us round the neck , and feem ed to

fhare ou r tranfports , while their mother

laughed and wept by turns .

60 The VI CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

I now ftood a calm fpecta tor of the

flames,and after fome time, began to per

ce ive that my arm to the fhou lder was

fcorched in a terrible manner. It was there

fore out of my power to give my fon any

affi ftance,either in attempting to fave ou r

goods,or preventing the flames fpreading

to ou r corn . By this time,the neighbours

were alarmed,and came running to ou r

affi ftance ; but all they could do was to

ftand,l ike us

,fpecta tors of the calamity.

My goods,among which were the notes

I had referved for my daughters fortunes,

were entirely confum ed, except a box, with

fome papers,that ftood in the kitchen , and

two or three thingsmore of l ittle confequ ence ,which my fon brought away in the begin

ning . The neighbours contributed,how

ever,what they could to lighten our d iftrefs .

They brought us clo a ths,and fu rnifhed one of

ou r out- hou fes with kitchen- u tenfils fo that

by day- l ight we had another,tho’ a wretched

,

dwell ing to retire to . My honeft next

neigh

The VI CAR of WAKEF I EL D . 6 1

neighbour, and his children , were not the

leaft afli du ou s in providing us with every

thing neceffary, and offering what ever

confola t ion untutored benevolence could

fuggeft.

When the fears of my family had fu b

fided , cu riofity to know the cau fe of my

long ftay began to take place ; havingtherefore informed them of every particular

,

I proceeded to prepare them for the recep

tion of ou r loft one,and tho ’ we had no

thing but wretchednefs now to impart,

yet to procure her a welcome to what we

had . This tafk would have been more

diffi cult but for our recent calamity,which

had humbled my wife ’ s pride , and bluntedit by more poignant afflictions . Being una

able to go for my poor child m yfelf, as my

arm now grew very painful , I fent my fon

and daughter,who foon returned

,fupport

ing the wretched del inquent , who had not

courage to look up at her mother, whomno


no inftructions of mine could perfu ade

to a perfect reconcil iation ; for women have

a much ftronger fenfe of female error than

men . Ah,madam

,

” cried her mother,

this is but a poor place you are come to

after fo much finery . My daughter So

phy and I can afford but little enter

t a inm ent to perfons who have kept com

pany only with people of diftinction.

Yes,M ifs Livy

,your poor father and I

have fu ffered very much of late ; but I

hope heaven will forgive you .— During

this reception,the unhappy vict im ftood

pale and trembling,unable to weep or to re

ply ; but I could not continue a filent fpec

tator of her d iftrefs, wherefore affum ing a

degree of feverity’

inmy voice and manner,

which was ever followed with inftant fub

m iffi on,

“I entreat,woman

,that my words

may be now marked once for all : I have

here brought you back a poor deluded

wanderer ; her return to’

du ty demands

the revival of ou r tendernefs . The

real


M m e m m w m m m ww m oom oooooooooeoom ooooooooo ooooood

C H A P . IV .

None but the guilty can be long and com

plete ly m iferable .

OME affi du itywas now required to make

our prefent abode as convenient as

pofli ble , and we were foon again qualified

to enj oy ou r former ferenity . Being dif

abled m yfelf from afli fting my fon in ou r

u fu a l occupations, I read to my family from

the fewbooks that were faved , and part icularly from fu ch, as, by am u fing the imagi

nation,contributed to eafe the heart . Our

good neighbours too came every day with

the k indeft condolence, and fixed a time in

which they were all to afli ft at repairing

my former dwelling . Honeft farmer Wi l

l iams .

66 The V I CAR of WAKEF IEL D .

l iams was not laft among thefe vifitors ;

but heartily offered his friendfhip . He

would even have renewed his addreffe s to mydaughter but fhe rej ected them in fu ch a

manner as totally repreft his future foli

citations . Her grief feem ed formed for

continuing,and fhe was the only perfon of

ou r l ittle focie ty that a week did not reftore

to chearfu lnefs . She now loft that'

un

blu fh ing innocence which once taught her

to refpect herfe lf, and to feck p leafu re by

pleafing. Anxe ity now had taken ftrong pof

fe ffi on of her mind,her beauty began to be

impaired with her conftitu t ion,and neglect

ftill more contributed to dim inifh it . Every

tender epithet beftowed on her fifter

brought a pang to her heart and a tear to

her eye ; and as one vice, tho’ cured

,a lm oft

ever plants others where it has been,fo her

former guilt,tho ’ driven out by repentance

,

left j ea lou fy and envy behind . I ftrove a

tho u fand ways to leffen her care,and even

forgot my own pain in a concern for her ’s,

col


collecting fu ch am ufing paffages of hiftory,

as a ftrong memory and fome reading!could

fuggeft. Our happinefs, my dear,” I

would fay,“is in the power of one who

can bring it about a t’hou fand unforefeen

ways,that mock ou r forefight . If ex

ample be neceffary to prove this, I’l l

give you a ftory, my child, told us by a

grave,tho’ fom e t im es a romancing

,hif

torian .

Matilda was married very young to a

Neapolitan nobleman of the firft quality,and found herfelf a widow and a mother

at the age of fifteen . As fhe ftood one

day carefling her infant fon in the open

window of an apartment,which hung

over the river V o ltu rna,the child

,with

a fudden fpring, leaped from her arms

into the flood below,and difappea red in

a moment. The mother, ftru ck with in

ftant fu rpriz e , and making an effort to

fave him,plunged in after ; but, far

from

68 The VI CAR of WAKEFI ELD .

from being able to. afli ft the infant, fhe

herfelf with great diffi cu lty efcaped to

the oppofi te fhore, ju ft when fome

French foldiers were plundering the coun

try on that fide,who immediately made

her their prifoner .

As the war was then carried on between

the French and Italianswith the u tm oft in

humanity,they were going a t once to per

pe tra te thofe two extremes, fuggefted by

appetite and cruelty . This bafe refo lu t ion,however

,was oppofed by a young offi

cer,who

,tho ’ their retreat required the

u tm oft expedition,placed her behind

him,and brought her in fafe ty to

his native city . Her beauty at firft

caught his eye,her merit foon after his

heart . They were married ; he t ofe to

the higheft pofts they l ived long toge

ther,and were happy . But the felicity

of a fo ldier can never be called perma

nent : after an interval of fevera l years,

the

The VI CAR of WAKEFI ELD . 69

the troops which he commanded having

met with a repu lfe , he was obliged to take

fhelter in the city where he had l ived

with his wife . Here they fu ffered a fi ege ,and the city at length was taken . Few

hiftories can produce more various in

ftances of cruelty,than thofe which the

French and Italians at that time exer

cifed upon each other . It was refolved

by the victors,upon this occafi on

,to

put all the French prifoners to death ;but particularly the hu fband of the un

fortunate Matilda,as he was principally

inftrum enta l in protracting the fiege .

Their determinations were,in general

,

executed a lm oft as foon as refolved u p

on . The captive foldier was led forth,

and the executioner,with his fword

,

ftood ready,while the fpecta tors in gloo

my filence awaited the fatal blow,which

was only fu fpended til l the general , who

prefided as j udge , fhou ld give the figna l .

It was in this interval of angu ifh and ex

pecta t ion


pecta t ion, that Matilda came to take herlaft farewell of her hu fband and deliverer

,

deploring her wretched fitu a t ion,and the

cruelty of fate,that had faved her from

perifh ing by a premature death in the ri

ver V o ltu rna,to be the fpecta tor of fti ll

greater calamities . The genera l ,»whowasa young man

,was ftru ck with fu rpriz e

at her beauty,and pity at her diftrefs

but with ftill ftronger emotions when he

heard her mention her former dangers.

He was her fon,the infant for whom fhe

had encounter’d fo much danger. He a c

knowledged her at once as his mother,

and fel l at her feet . The reft may be

e afi ly fu ppofed : the captive was fet free,and all the happinefs that love, friend

fhip , and duty could confer on each,were united .

”

In this manner I would attempt to am u fe

my daughter ; but fhe liftened with divided

attention ; for her own misfortunes engroffedall


7 2 The ‘V I CAR of WAKEF IE L D .

the acount ; but that he had found It 1m

poffIble to deliver the letter, which he wastherefore obliged to leave

,as Mr . Thornhill

and M ifs Wilmot were vifit ing round the

country . They were to be married,he

faid,in a fewdays

,having appeared toge

ther at church the Sunday before he was

there , in great fplendou r, the bride attendedby fix young ladies drest in white

,and he by

as many gentlemen . Their approaching

nuptials filled the whole country with t e

j o icing, and they u fu a lly rode out together

in the grandeft equipage that had been feen

in the country for many years . Al l the

friends of both families,he faid

,were

there , particularly the’Squire ’s uncle

,Sir

William Thornhill,who bore fo good

a character . He added,that nothing but

mirth and feafting were'

going forward ;that all the country pra ifed the young

bride ’s beauty,and the bridegroom’s fine

perfon,and that they were im m enfely

fond of each other ; concluding, that he

could

The VICAR of WAKEF I EL D . 73

could not help thinking Mr . Thorn

hill one of the m oft happy men in the

world .

Why let him if he can,returned

“but,my fon

,obferve this bed

of ftraw,and unfh eltering roof ; thofe

mouldering walls,and humid floor ;

m y wretched body thus d ifabled by

fire,and my children weeping round

me for bread ; you have come home,my child

,to all this

,yet here

,

even here,you fee a man that would

not for a thou fand worlds exchange fitu

a t ions . O,my children

,if you could

but learn to commune with your own

hearts,and know what noble company

vou can make them,you would little re

gard the elegance and fplendou rs of the

worthlefs . Alm oft all men have been

taught to call l ife a paffage , and them;

fe lves the travellers . The fim ilitu de

VOL . I I. E ftill

74 The VICAR of WAKEF I ELD .

fti ll may be improved when we ob

ferve that the good are j oyful and

ferene,l ike travellers that are going

towards home ; the wicked but by

intervals happy,l ike travellers that are

going into exile .

My com pafli on for my poor daught er,overpowered by this new difafter, inter

ru pted what I had farther to obferve . I

bade her mother fu pport her, and after a

fhort time fhe recovered . She appeared from

this time more calm,and I imagined had

gained a new degree of refo lu t ion : but ap

pearances deceived me ; for her tranquil ity

was the langour ofover-wrought refentm ent .

A fu pply of provifions, charitably fent us

by my kind parifh ioners , feem ed to diffu fe

chearfu lnefs am ongft the reft of the family

,nor vsa s I difpleafed at feeing them

once more fpright ly and at cafe . It

would have been unju ft to damp theirfatis


fa t isfactions,merely to condole With re

folu te melancholy,or to burthen them with

a fadnefs they did not feel . Once more,therefore

,the tale went round and the

fong was demanded,and chearfu lnefs con

defcended t o hover round our l ittle habi

ta t ion.

C H A P .

C H A P. V .

Frefh calamities .

HE next morning the fun arofe with

peculiar warmth for the feafon ; fo

that we agreed to breakfaft together at the

honey—fu ckle bank where,while we

fate,my youngeft daughter, at my requ eft,

j oined her voice to the concert on the

trees about us . It was here my poor Oli

via firft met her fedu cer, and every obj ectferved to recall her fadnefs . But that me

lancholy, which is excited by obj ect s of

pleafu re , or infpired by founds of harmony,foo ths the heart inftead of corroding it .Her mother too

,upon this occafion

,felt

,a

pleafi’

ng d iftrefs , and wept, and loved her

E 3 da ugh


daughter as before . DO,my pretty Oli

via, cried fhe , “let us have that l ittle

melancholy air your pappa was fo fondof

, your fifter Sophy has already obliged

us . Do child,it will pleafe your old

father.” She complied in a manner foexqu ifitely pathetic as moved me .

WHEN lovely woman ftOOps to folly,And finds too late that men betray

,

What charm can footh her melancholy,

What art can wa fh her guilt away ?

The only art her guilt to cover,

To hide her fham e from every eye,

To give repentance to her lover,

And wring his bofom — is to die .

As fhe was concluding the laft ftanz a , towhich an interruption in her voice from

forrowgave peculiar foftnefs, the appearance of Mr . Thornb il l ’s equipage at a d if

tance alarmed us all,but particularly en

creafed



Go,cried I

,

“thou art a wretch,a

poor pitiful wretch,and every way a

lya r ; but your m eannefs fecu res you from

my anger ! Yet fir , I am defcended

from a family that would not have borne

this ! And fo,thou vile thing

,to gra

t ify a momentary paffi on, thou haft made

one poor creature wretched for l ife , and

polluted a family that had nothing bu t

honour for their portion .

If fhe or you,returned he

,are t e

folved to be m iferable,I cannot help it .

But you may ftill be happy and what

ever opinion you may have formed of

me, you fha ll ever find me ready to contribute to it . We can readily marry her

to another,and what is more

,fhe may

keep her lover befide ; for I pro teft I

fha ll ever continue to have a true regardfor her .”

The V I CAR of WAKEF I E L D . 81

I found all my pafli ons awakened at this

newdegradIng propofa l ; for though themind may often be calm under great inj u

ries,l ittle villainy can at any time get w ith

in the foul,and fting i t into rage .

Avoid my fight,thou reptile

,

” cried I,nor continue to infu lt me with thy pre

fence . Were my brave fon at home , he

would not fu ffer this ; but I am old and

difabled,and every way undone .

I find,cried he

,

“you are bent u pon obliging me to ta lk in an ha rfher

manner than I intended . But as I have

fhewn you what may be hoped from myfriendfhip , it may not be improper to

reprefent what may be the confequ ences

Of my refentm ent . My attorney, to

whom your late bond has heen transfer

red,threatens hard

,nor do I know howto

prevent the cou rfe of ju ft ice , except by

paying the money m yfe lf, which , as I

have been at fome expences lately, pre

E 5 viou s

82 The V ICAR of WAKEF I EL D .

vions to my intended marriage,i t is not fo

eafy to be done . And then my ftewardtalks of driving for the rent : i t is certain

he knows his duty ; for I never trouble

m yfelfwi th affairs ofthat nature . Yet ftillI could wifh to ferve you , and even tohave you and your daughter prefent at

my marriage,which is fhortly to be fo

lem niz ed with M ifs Wilmot it is even

the requ eft of my charming Arabella

herfelf,whom I hope you will not re

M r . Thornhi l l , replied I , “hear me

once for all : as to your marriage with

any but my daughter,that I never will

confent to and though your friendfhipcould ra ife me to a throne

, or your re

fentm ent fink me to the grave,yet

would I defp ife both . Thou haft

once wofully,irreparably

,deceived m e .

I repofed my heart upon thine honour,and have found its bafenefs Never

more

The V I CAR of WAKEF IEL D . 83

more,therefore

,expect friendfh ip from

me . Go,and poffefs what fortune has

given thee,beauty

,riches

,health

,and

ple afu re . Go,and leave me to want,

infamy, difeafe , and forrow. Yet hum

bled as I am,fhall my heart ftill vindi

cate its dignity,and though thou

,haft

my forgivenefs, thou fha lt ever have my

contempt .!

If fo,returned he

,

“depend upon

it you fha ll feel the effects of this info

lence,and we fha ll fhort ly fee which is

the fitteft obj ect of fcorn,you or me .

Upon which he departed abruptly.

Mywife and fon,who were prefent at

this interview,feem ed terrified with the ap

prehenfi on. My daughters alfo,finding

that he was gone,came ou t to be informed

of the refu lt of ou r conference,which,

when known,alarmed them not lefs than

the reft. But as to m yfelf, I difregarded

the

84 The V I CAR of WAK EFI ELD .

the u tm oft ftre tch of his malevolence : he

h ad already ftru ck the blow,and now I

ftood prepared to repel every . new ef

fort . Like one Of those inftrum ents

u fed in the art of war,which

,however

thrown,ftill prefents a point to receive the

enemy .

We foon,however

,found that he had

not threatened in vain ; for the very next

day his ftewa rd came to demand my annualrent

,which

,by the train of accidents a l

ready related,I wa s unable to pay . T he

confequ ence of my incapacity wa s his driving my. cattle that evening, and their be

ing appra ifed and fold the next day for lefs

than half their value . My wife and childrennow therefore entreated me to complyupon any terms

,rather than incur certain

deftru ction. They even begged of me to

admit his vifits once more,and u fed al l

their l ittle eloquence to paint the calami

t ies I was going to endure . The terrors of

a

The VI CAR of WAKE F I EL D . 85

a prifon, in fo rigorous a feafon as the prefent, with the danger that threatened

my health fi onI the late accident thathappened by the fire . But I continuedi nflexible .

Why,my treafu res

,cried I

,

“why

will you thus attempt to perfu ade me to

the thing that is not right ! My duty

has taught me to forg ive him ; but my

confcience will not permit me to ap

prove . Would you have me applaud to

the world what my heart m u ft internally

condemn ? Would you have me tamely

fi t down and flatter ou r infamous be

trayer and to avoid a prifon continual

ly fu ffer the more galling bonds of men

tal confinement ! No, never . If we

are to be taken from this abode , only

let us hold to the right,and wherever we

are thrown,we can ftill retire to a

charming apartment,and look round ou r

own


own hearts with intrepidity and with

pleafu re !”

In this manner we fpent that evening .

Early the next morning,as the fnow

had fallen In great abundance in the night ,my fon was employed in clearing it away,and opening a paffage before the door .

He had not been thus engaged long,when

he came running in,with looks all pale

,to

tell us that two ftrangers , whom he knew

to be offi cers of j u ftice , were making to

wards the hou fe .

Ju ft as he fpoke they came in , and ap

proa ching the bed where I lay, after previ a

ou fly Informing me of their employment

and bufinefs , made me their prifoner, bid

ding me prepare to go with them to the

county gaol , which was eleven miles off.

My friends , faid I,

“this is fevereweather on which you have come to

take



look round at the ftrangers . In the mean

time my youngeft daughter prepared for

ou r departure,and as fhe received fevera l

hints to u fe difpa tch, in about an hour we

were ready to depart .

CHAP.

C H A P . V I .

No fitu a t ion,however wretched it feem s,

but has fome fort of comfort attending i t.

E fet forward from this peaceful

neighbourhood,and walked on

flowly . My eldeft daughter being enfee

bled by a flow fever,which had begun for

fome days to undermine her conftitu

tion,

one of the officers,who had an

horfe,kindly took her behind him ; for

even thefe men cannot entirely d iveft them

felves of humanity . My fon led one of the

l ittle ones by the hand,and my wife the

other,whi le I leaned upon my youngeft

girl,whofe tears fel l not for her own but

my d iftreffes .


We were now got from my late dwell ing about two miles

,when we faw a

crowd running and fhou t ing behind us,confifting of about fifty of my pooreft par ifh ioners . Thefe

,with dreadful impreca

tions, foon fe iz ed upon the two officers of

j u ftice , and fwea ring they would never feetheir m inifter go to gaol while they had a

drop of blood to fhed in his defence,were

going to u fe them with great feverity . Theconfequ ence might have been fatal , had I

not immediately interpofed, and with

fome difficulty refcu ed the officers from the

hands of the enraged multitude . My children

,who looked upon my delivery now

as certain,appeared t ranfported with j oy,

and were incapable of containing their raptures . But they were foon undeceived, u pon hearing me addrefs the poor deluded

people,who came

,as they imagined, to

do me fervice .

What


What ! my friends, cried I , and

is this the way you love me ! Is this the

manner you obey the inftructions I have

given you from the pulpit ! Thus to fly

in the face of ju ftice , and bring downruin on you rfelves and me ! Which is

your ringleader ? Shew me the man that

has thus fedu ced y ou . As fure as he

l ives he fh a ll feel my refentm ent . Alas !

my dear deluded flock,return back to

the duty you owe to God,to your coun

try,and to me . I fha ll ye t perhaps one

day fee you in greater felicity here, and

contribute to make your l ives more hap

py . But let it at leaft be my comfort

when I pen my fold for immortal ity, that

not one here fha ll be wanting .

They nowfeem ed all repentance,and

melting into tears,came one after the other

to bid me farewell . ! I fh ook each tenderly

by the hand,and leaving them my blefling,

proceeded forward without meeting any

farther

9 2 The V I CAR of WAKEF I E L D .

farther interruption . Some hours before

night we reached the town,or rather vil

lage ; for it confi fted but of a fewmeanhou fe s

,having loft all its former opulence ,

and retaining no marks of i ts ancient fu pe

r iority but the gaol .

Upon entering,we put up at an inn

,

where we had fu ch refrefhm ents as couldm oft readily be procured

,and I fu pped with

my family with my u fu a l chearfu lnefs . Af

ter feeing them properly accommodated for

that night,I next attended the fheriff ’

s of

ficers to the prifon, which had formerly

been built for the pu rpofes of war,and

confifted of one large apartment,ftrongly

grated,and paved with ftone

,common to

both felons and debtors at certain hours in

the four and twenty . Befides this, every

prifoner had a fepara te cell , where he was

locked in for the night .

I expected upon my entrance to find no

thing but lamentations,and various founds

of

The VI CAR of WAK EF I E L D . 93

ofm ifery ; but it was very different. The prifoners feem ed all employed in one common

defign, that of forgetting thought in merri

ment or clamour . Iwa s apprized Of the

u fu a l perqu ifit e required upon thefe occa

fions,and immediately complied with the

demand,though the l ittle money I had was

very near being all exhau fted . This was

immediately fent away for l iquor,and the

whole prifon foon was fil led with riot,

laughter,and prophanenefs .

How,cried I to m yfelf, fha ll men

fo very wicked be che arfu l, and fha ll I

be melancholy ! I feel only the fame

confinement with them,and I think I

have more reafon to be happy .

With fu ch reflect ions I laboured to become che arfu l but chearfu lnefs was never

yet produced by effort,which is i tfelf pain

fu l . As I was fi tting therefore in a corner

of the gaol,in a penfive poftu re , one of

m V


my fellow prifoners came up, and fitting

by me,entered into converfa t i

‘

on. It was

my conftant rule in l ife never to avoid the

converfa t ionof any man who feem ed to de

fire it : for if good,I m ight profit by his

inftruction if bad,he might be a ffi fted by

mine . I found this to be a knowing man,

o f ftrong unlettered fenfe but a thorough

knowledge of the world,as it is called

,or

,

more properly fpeak ing, of human nature on

the wrong fide . He a fked me if I had taken

care to provide m yfelf with a bed, which

was a circum ftance I had never once a t

tended to .

That ’s unfortunate,cried he

,as

you are allowed here nothing but ftraw,

and your apartment i s very large andcold . However you feem to be fome

thing of a gentleman, and as I have

been one m yfe lf in my time, part ofmy

bed- cloa ths are heartily at your fervice .

”

I thanked


96 The V ICAR of WAKEFI ELD .

Have I not had the pleafu re of once

feeing you at We lbridge fair, and is not

your name Ephraim Jenk infon At

this demand he only fighed .

“I fuppofeyou m u ft recollect

,

”refum ed I

,

“one

Doctor Prim rofe,from whom you bought

a horfe .

He now at once recollected me for the

gloom inefs of the place and the approach

ing night had prevented his d iftingu ifh ingYes

,Sir

,

” returnm y features before .

ed Mr . Jenkinfon,“I remember you per

fectly well I bought an horfe , but for

got to pay for him . Your neighbour

Flamborough is the only profecu tor I am

any way afraid of at the next affi z es : for

he intends to fwear pofit ive ly aga inft me

as a coiner I am heartily forry,Sir

,I

ever deceived you,or indeed any man

for you fee,continued he

,fhewing his

fha ckles,what my tricks have brought

me to .

The V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D. 97

Well , fi r, replied I, your k indnefs

in offering m e a ffi ftance , when you could

expect no return,fha ll be repaid with

my endeavours to foft en o r totally fu ppt efs Mr . Flam borou gh

’

s evidence,and

I will fend my fon to him for that pur

pofe the firft opportunity ; nor do I in

the leaft doubt but he will comply with

my requ eft, and as to my own evidence ,you need be under no uneafinefs about

that .”

Well,fir

,cried he

,al l the return

I can make fhal l be yours . You fha ll

have more than half my bed- cloa ths to

night , and I’ ll take care to ftand your

friend in the prifon,where I think I

have fome influence .”

I thanked him,and could not avoid be

ing fu rprifed at the prefent youthful change

in his a fpect ; for at the time I had feen him

before he appeared at leaft fixty. Sir,”

VO L . I I . F an


anfwered he , you are l it tle acquainted

with the world ; I had at that time

fa lfe hair,and have learnt the art of

counterfeiting every age from feventeen

to feveri ty . Ah fi r , had I but beftowedhalf the pains in learning a trade

,that

I have in learning to be a fcoundrel,I

might have been a rich man at this day .

But rogue as I am,fti ll I may be your

friend,and that perhaps when you leaft

expect it .

We were now prevented from further

converfa t ion, by the arrival of the gaoler’s

fervant s, who came to cal l over the prifo

ners names,and lock up for the night .

A fellow alfo,with a bundle of ftrawfor

my bed attended,who led me along a dark

narrow paffage into a room paved l ike the

common prifon, and in one corner of this

I fpread my bed , and the cloa ths given

me by my fellow prifoner ; which done,my


“m m m wm m m m m m wm woom m wom w

C H A P. V II.

A reform ation in the gaol . To make

laws ’

com ple te , they fhou ld reward'

as

wel l as punifh .

HE next morning early I was awakenedby my family

,whom I found in tears

at my bedfide The gloomy ftrength of

every thing about us,it feem s

,had daunted

them . I gently rebuked their forrow,af

furing them I had never flept with greater

tranquil ity,and next enquired after my

e ldeft daughter,who was no t among them .

They informed me that yefterday’

s uneafi

nefs and fatigue had encreafed her fever,

and it was j udged proper to leave her be

hind . My next care was to fend myfon to procure a room or two to lodge the

F 3 fam ily


family in,as near the prifonas conveniently

could be found . He obeyed ; but could only

find one apartment,which was hired at ' a

fm a ll expence , for his mother and fi fters,the gao ler with humanity confent ing to let

him and his two l ittle brothers l ie in the

prifonwith me . A bed was therefore pre

pared for them in a corner of the room,

which I thought anfwered very conveniently . I was willing however previou fly to

know whether my little children chofe to

lie in a place which feem ed to fright them

upon entrance .

Well,cried I

,my good boys

,how

do you like your bed ? I hope you are

not afraid to l ie in this room ,dark as it

appears .”

No,papa

,fays D ick

,I am

not afraid to lie any where where you

are .



Having thus inftructed him,and fettled

the reft,I walked down to the common pri

fon,where I could enjoy more air and

room . But I was no t long there when the

execrations,lewdnefs

,and brutality that

invaded me on every fide,drove me back

to my apartment again . Here I fa te for

fome time,pondering upon the ftrange in

fa tu a t ionof wretches,who finding all man

kind in open arms aga inft them,were

,

however,labouring to make them felve s a

future and a tremendous enemy .

Their infenfibility excited my higheft com

paffi on, and blotted my own uneafinefs

a while from my m ind . It even appeared as

a duty incumbent upon me to attempt to

reclaim them . I refo lved therefore once

more to return,and in fp ite of their con

tempt to give them my advice,and conquer

them by”

perfeverance . Going therefore

among them again

,I informed Mr . Jenkin

fon of my defign, at which he“

laughed,

b u t


but communicated it to the reft . The pro

pofa l was rece ived with the grea teft goodhumour

,as it prom ifed to afford a new

fund of entertainment to perfons who hadnow no other refou rce for mirth, but what

could be derived from ridicule or debau

chery.

I therefore read them a portion of the

fervice with a loud unaffected voice , and

found my audience perfectly merry upon

the Occafi on. Lewd whifpers , groans ofcontrition bu rlefqu ed, winking and cough

ing,alternately excited laughter . Howe

ver,I continued with my natural fo lem nity

to read on,fenfi ble that what I did might

amend fome,but could i tfe lf receive no

contamination from any .

After reading, I entered upon my ex

hortation , which was rather calculated at

firft to am u fe them than to reprove . I previ

ou fly obferved,that no other motive but

F 5 their


their welfare could induce me to this that

I was their fellow prifoner, and now gained

nothing by preaching . I was forry,I faid

,

to hear them fo very prophane ; becau fe

they got nothing by it,but might lofe a

great deal : For be a ffu red, my friends,cried I

,

“for you are my friends,how

ever the world may d ifcla im your friend

fh ip, though you fwore twelve thou fandoaths in a day

,it would not put one

penny in your pu rfe . Then what figni

fies call ing every moment upon the de

vil,and courting his friendfhip , fince

you find how fcu rvily he u fes you .

He has given you nothing here,you

find,but a mouthful of oaths and an

empty belly ; and by the beft accounts

I have of him,he wi ll give you nothing

that ’s good hereafter.

If u fed ill in our dealings with one

man,we naturally go e lfewhere . Were

it not worth your while then, j u ft to try

how



fome hopes of making a reformation here

for it had ever been m y opinion, that no

man was paft the hour of amendment , every

heart lying open to the fhafts ofreproof, if the

archer cou ld but take a proper aim . When I

had thus fa t isfied my mind,I went back to

my apartment,where my wife had prepared

a fi u ga l meal , while Mr. Jenk infon begged

leave to add his dinner to ours,and partake

of the pleafu re , as he was kind enough to

exprefs it, of my converfa t ion. He had

no t yet feen my family ; for as they came to

my apartment by a door in the narrow paffage

,already defcribed

,by this means they

avoided the common prifon. Jenk infon at

the firft interview therefore feem ed not a

little ftru ck with the beauty of my young

eft daughter,which her penfive air con

tributed to heighten,and my little ones did

not pafs unnoticed .

Alas,Doctor

,cried he

,thefe chil

dren are too handfom e and too good for

fu ch a place as this !”

The V I CAR of WAKEF I E L D . 1 09

Why,Mr. Jenk infon, replied I ,

thank heaven my children are pretty

tolerable in morals,and if they be good,

it matters l ittle for the reft.

I fanéy, fi r, returned my fe llow pri

foner,that it m u ft give you great com

fort to have this l ittle family about

you .

A comfort,Mr. Jenk infon, rep lied I ,

yes it is indeed a comfort,and I would

no t be without them for all the world ;for they can make a dungeon feem a

palace . There is bu t one way in this

l ife of wounding my happinefs, and that

i s by inj uring them .

I am afraid then,fir

,cried he

,that

l am in fome m eafu re culpable ; for I

think I fee here (looking at my fonMo

fe s) one that I have inj ured,and by

whom I wifh to be forgiven .

”

1 1 0 The VI CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

My fon immediately recollected his voice

and features,though he had before feen

him in d ifgu ife , and taking him by the

hand,with a fm i le forgave him .

“Yet ,continued he

,

“I can ’t help wondering at

what yo u could fee in my face,’ to think

me a proper mark for deception .

!

My dear fir,returned the other

,it

was no t your face,but your white ftock

ings and the black ribband in your hair,

that allured me . But no difparagem ent

to your parts,I have deceived wifer men

than you in my time and yet,with all

my tricks,the blockheads have been

too many for me at laft .

”

I fu ppofe , cried my fon,“that the

narrative of fu ch a life as yours mult be

extremely inftru ctive and am u fing .

”

No t mu ch of either,returned Mr .

Jenk infon. Thofe relations which de“fcribe



fchem es to deceive,and my heart pal

p ita t ing with fears of detection .

I u fed often to laugh at your honeft

fim ple neighbour Flamborough,and

one way or another generally cheated

him once a year . Yet ftill the honeft

man went forward without fu fpicion,and grew rich

,while I fti ll continued

trickfy and cunning, and was poor ,without the confo la t ion of being honeft .

However,

i cont inu ed he, “let me

know your cafe,and what has brought

you here ; perhaps though I have not

fk ill to avoid a gaol m yfelf, I may ex

trica te my friends .”

In compliance with his cu riofity, I in

formed him of the whole train Of acci

dents and follies that had plunged me

into my prefent troubles, and my utter in

ability to get free .

Afte r

The VI CAR of WAK EF I EL D . 1 1 3

After hearing my ftory, and paulingfome minutes

,he flapt h is forehead, as if

upon fom e thing material,and took his leave

,faying be would try

what could be done .

C H A P.


1 1 6 The VI CAR of WAKEF I ELD .

the giver ’s bofom ; and though the in

( C

( C

ftruction I com m unica te may not mend

them,yet it will affu redlv mend m yfe lf.

If thefe wretches,my children

,were

princes,there would be thou fands ready

to offer their m iniftry ; but, in my opini

on, the heart that is buried in a dun

geon is as precious as that feated upon a

throne . Yes,my treafu res

,if I can

mend them I will ; perhaps they will

not all defpife me . Perhaps I may

catch up even one from the gulph, and

that will be great gain for is there u pon earth a gem fo precious as the hu

man foul ?

Thus faying,I left them

,and defcended

to the common prifon, where I found the

prifoners very merry, expect ing my arrival ;and each prepared with fome gaol trick to

play upon the doctor. Thus, as I was go

ing to begin,one turned mywig awry, as

if by accident,and then afked my pardon.

A

The V ICAR of WAKEFI EL D . 1 1 7

A fecond,who ftood at fome d iftance , had

a knack of fpit ting through his teeth ,which fel l in fhowers upon my book . A

t hird would cry amen in fu ch an affected

t one as gave the reft great delight A

fourth had flily picked my pocket of my

fpecta cles . But there was one whofe trickgave more univerfa l pleafu re than all the

reft ; for obferving the manner in which I

had difpofed my books on the table before

me,he very dextroufly difplaced one of

them,and put an obfcene jeft—book of his

own in the place . However I took no not ice of all that this m ifchievou s groupe of

l ittle beings could do but went on,per

fectly fenfi ble that what wa s ridiculous inmy attempt

,would excite mirth only the

firft or fecond time,while what was feriou s

would be permanent My defign fu cceed

ed,and in lefs than fix days fome were pe

nitent,and all attentive .

1 1 8 The V I CAR of WAKEF I ELD .

It was now that I applauded my perfe

verance and addrefs, at thus giving fenfibi

l ity to wretches divefted of every moral

feeling,and nowbegan to think of doing

them temporal fervices alfo , by renderingtheir fitu a t ion fom ewhat more comfortable .Their time had hitherto been divided be

tween famine and excefs,tumultuous riot

and bitter repining . Their only employ

ment was quarrelling among ea ch other,

playing cribbage,and cutting tobacco ftop

pers . From this laft mode of idle indu f

try I took the hint of fetting fu ch as chofe

to work at cutting pegs for tobacconifts and

fhoem akers,the proper wood being bought

by a general fubfcript ion, and when manu

factu red, fold by my appointment fo that

each earned fomething every day : a trifle

indeed,bu t fu fficient to maintain him .

I did not ftop here, but inftitu ted fines

for the punifhm ent of immorality, and t ewards for peculiar indu ftry. Thus in lefs

than



way to mend a fta te : nor can I avoid even

qu eftioning the validity of that right which

focia l combinations have a ffum ed of capi

tally punifhing offences of a flight nature .In cafes of murder their right is obvious

,

as it is the duty of us all,from the law of

felf- defence,to cut off that man who has

fhewn a difrega rd for the l ife of another.

Aga inft fu ch, all nature rifes in arms ; but

i t i s not fo aga inft him who ftea ls my pro

perty. Natural law gives me no right totake away his l ife

,as by that the horfe he

ftea ls i s as much his property as mine . If

then I have any right,i t m u ft be from a

compact made between us,that he who de

prives theo ther of his horfe fha ll die . But

this is a fa lfe compact ; becau fe no manhas a right to barter his l ife

,no more than

to take it away,as it is not his own . And

next the compact is inadequate,and would

be fet afide even in a court of modern

equity,as there is a great penalty for a very

trifling convenience,fince i t i s far better

that

The V I CAR of WAK EF I EL D . 1 2 1

that two men fhou ld l ive, than that one

man fhou ld ride . But a compact that is

fa lfe between two men, is equally fo be

tween an hundred, or an hundred thou

fand for as ten mi ll ions of circles can ne

ver make a fqu are , fo the united voice of

myriads cannot lend the fm a lleft founda

t ion to fa lfehood . It is thus that reafon

fpeaks, and untutored nature fays the fame

thing . Savages that are directed nearly by

natural law alone are very tender of the

l ives of each other ; they fe ldom fhed

blood but to retaliate former cruelty .

Our Saxon anceftors,fierce as they were

in war, had but fewexecutions in times ofpeace ; and in all commencing govern

ments that have the print of nature ftill

ftrong upon them,fcarce any crime is held

capital .

It is among the citiz ens of a refined

community that penal laws,which are in

VOL . 1 1 . G the

1 22 The V I CAR of WAKEF I E LD .

the hands of the rich,are laid upon the

poor . Government,while it grows older,

feem s to acquire the m orofenefs Of age ;and as if our poffefii ons were become dear

er in proportion as they increafed,as if the

more enormous our wealth,the more ex

tenfive ou r fears,our poffefli ons are paled

up with new edicts every day,and hung

round with gibbets to fcare every in

vader.

Whether is it from the number of ou r

penal laws, or the licent iou fnefs of our peo

ple,that this country fli ou ld fhewmore

convicts in a year,than half the domini

ons of Europe united ? Perhaps it is owing to both ; for they mutually produceeach other When by indifcrim ina te pe

nal laws a nation beholds the fame punifh

ment afli xed to diffim ilar degrees of guilt,from perceiving no d iftinction in the penal

ty, the people are led to lofe all fenfe of dif

tinction in the crime , and this diftinction i sthe


1 24 The V I CAR of WAKEFI ELD .

cannot amend that a man may fee his laft

crime without dying for i t and that very

l ittle blood will ferve to cement our fecurity.

CHAP.

C H A P. IX .

Happinefs and m ifery rather the refu lt of

prudence than of virtue in this l ife .

Temporal evils or fel icit ies being re

garded by heaven as things merely in

them felves trifling and unworthy its care

in the d iftribu tion.

Had now been confined more than afortnight

,but had not fince my arrival

been vifited by my dear Ol ivia,and I

greatly longed to fee her. Having com

m unica ted mywifhes to m v wife,the next

morning the poor girl entered m y apart

ment,leaning on her fifter ’s arm . The

change which I faw in her countenanceftru ck me . The num berlefs graces that once

refided there were now fled,and the hand

G 3 of


of death feem ed to have molded every fea

ture to alarm me . Her temples were funk,her forehead was t enfe , and a fatal palenefs

fate upon her cheek .

I am glad to fee thee,my dear

,cri

ed I ; but why this dejection Livy ? I( C

( C

( C

hope,my love

,you have too great a re

gar d for me, to permit d ifappo intm ent

thus to undermine a l ife which I priz e

as my own. Be chearfu l child, and we

may yet fee happier days .

! ou have ever,fir

,replied fhe

,

been kind to me,and it adds to my

pain that I fha ll never have an opportu

mity of fharing that happinefs you pro

m ife . Happinefs, I fear, is no longer

referved for me here and I long to be

rid of a place where I have only found

d iftrefs . Indeed, fi r, I wifh you wouldmake a proper fu bm iffi on to Mr. Thorn

li ill


1 28 The V I CAR of WAKEF I ELD .

alone , and fhe the only one who had Of

fended me . Befide,added he

,

“I

don’t knowif it be j u ft thus to obftruct

the union of man and wife, which you

do at prefent , by refufing to confent toa match which you cannot hinder, but

may render unhappy.

”

Sir,

” repl ied I, you are unac

qu a inted with the man that oppreffes us .I am very fenfible that no fu bm iffi on

I can make could procure me libertyeven for an hour . I am told that

even in this very room a debtor of his,

no later than laft year,died for want .

But though my fu bm iffi on and ap

probation could transfer me from hence,

to the m oft beautiful apartment he is

poffeffed of yet I would grant neither, as

fom ethingwhifpers me that it would begiving a fanction to adultery. While m ydaughter l ives

,no other marriage of his

fha ll ever be legal in my eye . Werea {he


fhe removed,indeed

,I fhou ld be the

bafeft of men,from any refentm ent of

my own,to attempt putting afunder

thofe who wifh for an union . No, vil

lain as he is,I could then wifh him

married,to prevent the confequ ences of

his future debaucheries . But fhou ld Inot now be the molt cruel of a ll fathers,to fignan Inftrum ent which m u ft fend mychild to the grave

,merely to avoid a prifon

m yfe lf and thus to efcape one pang,break my child ’s heart with a thou fand ?”

C

He a cqu iefced in the j u ftice of this an

fwer,but could not avoid obferving,

that

he feared my daughter’ s l ife was already

too much wafted to keep me long a pri

foner . However,continued he

,though

you refu fe to fubm it to the nephew,

I hope you have no obj ections to layingyour cafe before the uncle

,who has

the ‘firft character in the kingdom for

every thing that is ju ft and good . I

G 5 would

1 30 The VI CAR of WAKEF I E L D .

would advife you to fend him a letter

by the poft,intimating all his nephew ’s

il l u fage , and m y l ife for i t that in three

days you fha ll have an anfwer I thank ’

d

him for the hint,and inftantly fe t about

complying ; but Iwanted paper, and un

luckily all ou r money had been laid ou t

that morning in provifions, however he

fupplied me .

For the three'

enfu ing days I wa s in afta te of anxiety, to know what reception

my lett er might meet with ; but in the

mean time was frequently fo licited by mywife to fubm i t to any conditions rather than

remain here,and every hour received repea

ted accounts of the decline of my daugh

ter ’s health . The third day and the fourtharrived

,but I received no anfwer to my

letter : the complaints of a ftranger aga inft

a favourite nephew,were no way likely

to!

fu cceed ; fo that thefe hopes foonvanifhed l ike all my former. My mind,

how



ing by her . My fellow prifoner, fome

time after,came with the laft account . He

bade me be patient . She was dead !

The next morning he returned,

and

found me with my two l ittle ones,now m y

only companions,who were u fing all their

innocent efforts to comfort me . Theyentreated to read to me

,and bid me no t to

cry,for I was now too o ld to weep . And

i s not my fi fter an angel,now

,pappa

,

cried the eldeft,and why then are you

forry for her ? Iwifh I were an angel outof this frightful place

,if my pappa were

with me .” Yes,

” added my youngeft

darling,

“Heaven,where my fifter is

,i s

a finer place than this,and there are none

but good people there,and the people

here are very bad .

Mr . Jenk infon interupted their harm lefs! prattle

,by obferving that now my daugh

ter was no more,I fhou ld ferioufly think

of the - reft of my family, and attempt to

fave

The VI CAR of WAKEFI EL D . 1 33

fave my own life,which was every day de

c lining, for want of neceffa ries and wholefome air . He added

,that it was nowin

cumbent on me to facrifice any pride or

refentm ent of my own,to the welfare of

thofe who depended on me for fupport ;and that I was now

,both by reafon and

ju ftice , obliged to try to reconcile my land

lord .

Heaven be pra ifed, replied I , there

is no pride left me now,I fhou ld deteft

my own heart if I faweither pride or

refentm ent lurking there . On the con

trary, as my oppreffor has been once

my parifh ioner, I hope one day to pre

fent him up an unpolluted foul at the

eternal tribunal . No,fir

,I have no

refentm ent now,and though he has ta

ken from me what I held dearer than all

his treafu res,though he has wrung my

heart,for I am fick a lm oft to fainting,

very li ck,my fellow prifoner, yet that

fha ll

1 34 The V ICAR of WAKEF I EL D .

fha ll never infpire me with V engeance .

I am now willing to approve his mar

riage , and if this fubm ifli on can do him

any pleafu re , let him know,that if I

have done him any inj ury,I am sorry for

it .”

wrote down my fubm iffi on nearly as I have

Mr . Jenk infontook pen and ink, and

expreft i t, to which I figned my name .My fonwas employed to carry the letter to

Mr . Thornhill,who was then at his feat in

the country . He went,and in about fix

hours returned with a verbal anfwer . Hehad fome difficulty

,he faid

,to get a fight

of his landlord,as the fervants were in

folent and fu fpiciou s ; but he accidentally

fawhim as he was going out upon bu finefs,

preparing for his marriage,which was to be

in three days . He continued to inform us,

that he ftept up in the hum bleft manner,and del ivered the letter

,which

,when Mr .

Thornhill had read,he faid that all fub

m ifli onwas now too late and unneceffary

that he had heard of our application to his‘

uncle,


1 36 The VI CAR of WAKEFI EL D .

may charitably relieve them for the fake

Of their heavenly father .

Ju ft as I fpoke , my wife, whom I had

not feen that day before,appeared with

looks of terror,and making efforts

,but

unable to fpe ak .

“Why,my love

,

” cried

I “why will you thus encreafe my afli ic

tion by your own,what though no fu b

m ifIi ons can turn our fevere m after,tho ’

he has doomed me to die in this place

of wre tchednefs, and though we haveloft a darl ing child

,yet ftill you will find

comfort in your other children when I

fha ll be no more . We have indeed

loft,returned fhe

,a darl ing child .

My Sophia,my deareft, i s gone, fna tched

from us,carried Off by ruflians


How,madam

,cried my fellowpri

foner,

m ifs Sophia carried off by villains,fure it cannot be ?”

She could only anfwer with a fixed lookand a flood of tears . But one of the pri

foner’

s wives,who was prefent , and came

in with her,gave us a more diftinct a c

count : fhe informed us that as my wife,my

daughter,and herfelf

,were taking a walk

together on the great road a little way ou t

Of the village,a poft — cha ife and four

drove up to them and inftantly ftopt .

Upon which,a well dreft man

,but not

Mr. Thornhill,ftepping ou t

,clafped my

daughter round the wa ift,and forcing

her in,bid the poftillion drive on, fo that

they were ou t of fight in a moment .

Now,cried I

,the fum of my mi

feries is made up,nor is it in the power

of any thing on earth to give me another

pang . What ! not one left ! not to leave

me


me one ! the m onfter ! the child that was

next my heart ! fhe had the beauty of an

angel,and a lm oft the wifdom of an an

gel . But fu pport that woman nor let her

fall . Not to leave me one ! Alas !

my hu fband,faid my wife

,you feem to

want comfort even more than I . Our

d iftreffes are great ; but I could bear

this and more,if I fawyou but eafy .

They may take away my children and

all the world,if they leave me but you .

My Son,who was prefent , endeavoured

to moderate our grief ; he bade us take

comfort,for he hoped that we might ftill

have reason to be thankful . My

child,cried I

,

“look round the world,

and fee if there ‘ be any hap pinefs leftme now . Is not every ray of comfort

fhu t ou t while all ou r bright profpectscc My

dear father,returned he

,I hope there

only l ie beyond the grave !

is fti ll fom ething that wi ll give you an in

terva l


140 The VI CAR of WAKEFI EL D .

Yes,Madam

,replied he

,it is cer

t a inly his, and he will one day be the

credit and the fupport of ou r fam i ly !

Then I thank providence,

” cried fhe,

that my laft letter to him has m ifcar

ried.

” Yes,my dear

,continued fhe

,

”

turning to me,

“I will nowconfefs that

though the hand of heaven is fore

upon us in other inftances,it has been

favourable here . By the laft letter I

wrote my fon,which was in the bitter

nefs of anger,I defired him,

upon hismother ’s bleffing, and if he had the

heart of a man,to fee j u ftice done his

father and fifter,and avenge ou r cau fe .

But thanks be to him that directs all things,i t has m ifca rried

,and I am at reft.”

Woman,

” cried I thou haft done very

ill,and at another time my reproaches

might have been more fevere . Oh ! what

a tremendous gulph haft thou efcaped ,

that would have buried both thee and

him in endlefs ruin . Providence, indeed,has


has here been kinder to us than we to

ou rfe lves . It has referved that fon to be

the father and protector of my children

when I fha ll be away . How unju ftly didI complain o f being ftript of every com

fort,when ftill I hear that he is happy

and infenfible of ou r afli ictions ; ftill kept

in referve to fu pport his widowed mo

ther,to protect his brothers and fifters .

But what fi fters has he left,he has no fi f

ters now,they are all gone

,robbed from

Father,

”

interupted my fon, I beg you will give

me,and I am undone .”

me leave to read his letter,I know it

will pleafe you .

” Upon which,with my

perm iffi on,he read as follows

Honoured


Honoured Sir,

I Have called offmy im aginat iona fewmoments from the pleafu res that fu rroundme

to fix it upon obj ects that are fti ll more plea

fing, the dear little fire - fide at home . My

fancy draws that harm lefs groupe as l ifteningto every l ine of this with great com

pofu re . I V iew thofe faces with delight

which never felt the deforming hand of

ambition or d iftrefs ! But whatever yourhappinefs may be at home, I am fure it

wil l be fome addition to it,to hear that

I am perfectly pleafed with my fitu a t ion,and every way happy here .

Our regiment is countermanded and is notto leave the kingdom the colonel

,who pro

feffes him fe lf my friend,

. t akes me with

him to all companies where he is ac

qu a inted, and after my firft vifit I gene

rally find m yfe lf received with encreafed

refpect upon repeating it . I danced laft

night


144 The VI CAR ofWAKEFI LD .

In all our m iferie s,cried I

,what

thanks have we not to return,that one

at leaft of our family is exempted from

what we fuffer .. Heaven be his guard

,

and keep my boy thus happy to be thefu pporter of his widowed mother

,and

the father of thefe two babes,which is

al l the patrimony I can now bequeath

him . May he keep their innocence from

the temptations of want , and be their

conductor in the paths of honour. I

had fca rce faid thefe words,when a no ife

,

l ike that of a tumult , feemed to proceed

fi'om the prifon below ; i t died away foon

after,and a clanking of fetters was heard

along the paffage that led to my apartment .

The keeper of the prifon entered, holding

a man all bloody,wounded and fettered

with theheavieft irons . I looked with com

paffi on on the wretch as he approached me,

but with horror when I found it was my

own fon. My George ! My George !

and do I behold thee thus . Wounded !

Fettered !


Fet tered ! Is this thy happinefs ! Is this

the manner you return to me ! O that

this fight could break my heart at once

and let me die !

Where,Sir

,is your fortitude

,return

ed my fonwith an intrepid voice . I mult

fu ffer,my life is forfeited

,and let them

take it ; i t i s my laft happinefs that I

have committed no murder,tho’ I have

loft all hopes of pardon .

I tried to reftra inmy pafli ons for a fewminu t es in fi lence

,but I thought I fhould

have died with the effort

my heart weeps to behold thee thus,

O my boy,

and I cannot,cannot help it . In the mo

ment that I thought thee bleft,and pray

ed for thy fafe ty, to behold thee t hus

again ! Chained, wounded . And yet

the death of the youthful is happy. But

I am old,a very old man

,and have

VO L . 1 1 . H lived

146 T he V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

l ived to fee this day . To fee my‘

chil l

dren all untimely fall ing about me ,while I continue a wretched fu rvivor in

the m idft of ruin ! May all the cu rfes

that ever funk a foul fall heavy upon the

murderer of my children . May he l ive ,3,l ike me

,to fee

Hold,Sir

,replied my fon

,

“or I

fha ll blu fh for thee . How,Sir

,forget

fu l of your age,your holy calling

,thus

to arrogate the j u ftice of heaven,and

fling thofe cu rfe s upward that m u ft foon‘

defcend to cru fh thy own grey head withdeftruction! N0

,Sir

,let it be your

care now to fit me for that vile death I

m u ft fhort ly fu ffer, to arm me with hope

and refolu t ion,to give me courage to

drink of that b itternefs which m u ft fhort

ly be my portion .

My child,you m u ft not die : I am

fur e no offence of thine can deferve fo

V i le



And,my fon

,you fh a ll find them .

I am now ra ifed above this world,and

all the pleafu re s i t can produce . From

this moment I break from my heart a ll

the ties that held it down to earth,and

will prepare to fit us both for eternity.

Yes,my fon

,I will point ou t the way,

and my foul fha ll guide yours in the af

cent,for we will take our flight together.

I now fee and am convinced you can ex

pect no pardon here, and I can only ex

hort you to feek it at that grea teft tribu

na l where we both fha ll fhortly anfwer .

But let us not be niggardly in ou r exhor

t a t ion,but let all ou r fellow prifoners

have a fh are : good gaoler let them be

permitted to ftand here,while I attempt

to improve them . Thus faying,I made

an effort to rife from my ftraw,but wanted

ftrength, and wa s able only to recline a

ga inft the wall . The prifoners affem bled

according to my directions,for they loved

to

The V ICAR of WAKEFI EL D . 149

to hear my council , my fon and his mother

fupported me on e ither fide , I looked and

fawthat none were wanting,and then ad

them with the following exhorta

CHAP.



have nothing left to hope . In this l ife then

it appears that we cannot be entirely bleft ;but yetwe may be completely m iferable !

Why man fhou ld thus feel pain , why

ourwretchednefs fh ou ld be requ ifite in the

formation of univerfa l felicity, why, when

all other fyftem s are made perfect only bythe perfection of their fubordinate parts, the

great fyftem fhou ldr equ ire for its perfection ,parts that are not only fubordina te to others,but imperfect in them felves ? Thefe are

qu efti ons that never can be explained, and

might be u felefs if known . On this fu bj ect

providence has thought fit to elude ou’

r cu

riofity, fa t isfied with granting us motives to

confola t ion.

In this fi tu a t ion,man has called in the

friendly affi ftance of philofophy, and hea‘ven feeing the incapacity of that to confole

him,has given him the aid of rel igion .


The confola t ions of philofophy are very

am ufing, but often fallacious It te lls

us that l ife is filled with comforts,if we

will but enj oy them ; and on the other

hand,that though we unavoidably have mi

feries here,l ife is fhort

,and they will foon

be over . Thus do thefe confola t ions deftroyeach other ; for if l ife is a place of comfort,its fhortnefs m u ft be m ifery, and if i t

be long,our griefs are protracted .

Thus philofophy is weak ; but religi

on comforts in an higher ftra in. Man is

here,i t tells us

,fitting up his mind

,and

preparing it for another abode . When

the good man leaves the body and is all a

glorious mind,he will find he has been

making him fe lf a heaven of happinefs here,while the wretch that has been maimed

and contaminated by his vices,fhr inks

from his body with terror, and finds

that he has anti cipated the vengeance of

H 5 heaven .


heaven . To religion thenwe mult hold in

every circum ftance of l ife for our tru eft

comfort for if already we are happy,i t is

a pleafu re to think that we can make that

happinefs unending, and if we are m iferable

,it is very confoling to think that there

i s a place of reft. Thus to the fortu

nate religion holds out a continuance of

blifs, to the wretched a change from

pain .

But though religion is very kind to all

men,i t has prom ifed peculiar reward to

the unhappy ; the fick ,the naked

,the

hou felefs,the heavy- laden

,and the prifoner,

have ever m oft frequent prom ifes in ou r fa

cred law. The author of ou r religion

every where profeffe s him felf the wretch’

s

friend,and unlike the fa lfe ones of this

world,beftows all his careffe s upon the for

lorn The unthinking have cenfu red thi s

as partial ity,as a preference with

ou t


1 56 The V I CAR of WAKEFI ELD .

new breach that death opens in the con

ftitu t ion,nature kindly covers with infenfi

b ility.

Thus providence has given the wretched

two advantages over the happy in this l ife,

greater fel icity in dying,and in heaven all

that fu periority of pleafu re which a rifi es fi om

contrafted enj oyment . And this fu periority,my friends

,is no fm a ll advantage

,and

feem s to be one of the pleafu res of the

poor man in the parable ; for though he

was already in heaven,and felt all the rap

tures it could give,yet it was mentioned as

an addition to his happinefs, that he had

once been wretched and now was comfort

ed,that he had known what it was to be

m iferable,and now felt what it was to be

happy .

Thus,my friends

,you fee religion does

what philfOphy could never do : i t fhewsthe equal dealings of heaven to the happy

and

The VI CAR ofWAK EFI EL D . 1 57

and the unhappy,and levels all human

enj oyments to nearly the fame ftandard .

It gives to both rich and poor the fame

happ inefs hereafter, and equal hopes to

a fp ire after it ; but if the ri ch have the

advantage of enj oying pleafu re here , thepoor have the endlefs fat isfact ion of know

ing what it was once to be m iferable ,

when crowned with endlefs felicity here

after ; and even though this fhou ld be

called a fm a ll advantage,yet being an

eternal one,it m u ft make up by

duration what the temporal happ inefs

of the great may have exceeded by in

t enfenefs .

T hefe are therefore the confo la t ions

which the wretched have peculiar to them

fe lves,and in which they are above the reft

ofmankind in other refpect s they are below

them . They who would know the m iferies

of the poor m u ft fee l ife and endure it .

To

1 58 The VI CAR of WAKEFI EL D .

To declaim on the temporal advantages

they enj oy,is only repeating what none ci

ther believe or practife . The men whohave the neceffaries of l iving are not poor,and they who want them m u ft be m iferable .

Yes,my friends

,we m u ft be . m iferable .

No vain efforts of a refined imagination

can footh the wants of nature,can give

e laftic fweetnefs to the dank vapour of a

dungeon, or eafe to the throbbings of awoe—worn heart. Let the philofopher from

his couch of foftnefs tell us that we can

refi ft all thefe . Alas ! the effort by which we

refift them is ftill the grea teft pain ! Death

is fl ight,and any man may fu fta in it ; but

torments are dreadful,and thefe no m an

can endure .

T o us then,my friends

,the prom ife s of

happinefs in heaven fhou ld be peculiarly dear ;for ifOu r reward be in this l ife alone

,we are

then indeed of all men the m oft m iferable .

When



tages ; but we. humbled as we are,fhou ld yearn for them .

And fha ll thefe things be Ours ? Ours

they will certainly be if we but try for

them ; and what is a comfort, we are fhu t

o u t from many temptations that would

retard ou r pu rfu it . Only let us try for

them,and they will certainly be ours

,

and what is ftill a comfort,fh ort ly too for

if we look back on paft l ife, it appears

but a very fhort fpan, and whatever we

may think of the reft of l ife,i t will yet be

found of lefs duration ; a s we grow o l

der,the days feem to grow fhorter

,and

ou r intimacy with time,ever leffens the

perception of his ftay. Then let us take

comfort now,for we fha ll foon be at our

j ourney’s end we fha ll foon lay down the

heavy burthen laid by heaven upon us , and

though death,the only friend of the

wretched,for a l ittle while mocks the

weary traveller with the V iew,and like his

hori

The V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D . 1 6 1

horiz on,fti ll flies before him ; yet the

t ime wil l certainly and fhortly come , whenwe fha ll ecafe from ou r toil when the lux

u riou s great ones of the world fha ll no more

tread us to the earth when we fha ll think

with pleafu re onour fu fferings below ; when

we fha ll be fu rrounded with all our friends,

or fu ch as deferved ou r friendfhip ; whenou r blifs fha ll be unutterable, and ftill, to

crown all,unending .

CHAP.



I again,therefore laid me down

,and one

of my little ones fate by my bedfide read

ing, when Mr . Jenkinfon entering, inform

ed me that there was news of my daugh

ter ; for that fhe was feen by a perfonabout

two hours before in ! a ftrange gentleman’ s

company, and that they had ft0pt at a

neighbouring village for refi‘

efhm ent, and

feem ed as if returning to town . He hadfcarce delivered this news

,when the gaoler

came with looks of hafte and pleafu re , to

inform m e,that my daughter was found .

Mofes came running in a moment after,

crying out that his fifter Sophy was below

and coming up with our old friend Mr.

Burchell .

Ju ft as he del ivered this news my deareft

girl entered,and with looks a lm oft wild

with pleafu re , ran to kifs me in a tranfport

o f afl’ection. Her mother ’s tears and filence

a lfo fh ewed her pleafu re . Here, pappa,”

cried


cried the charming girl,here is the brave

man to whom I owe my del ivery ; tothis gentleman’s intrep idity I am indebt

ed for my happinefs and fafety A

kifs from M r. Burchell,whofe pleafu re

feem ed even greater than hers, interrupted

What fhe was going to add .

Ah,Mr. Burchell

,cried I

,this is but

a wretched habitation you now find us

in ; and we are now very different h om

what you laft fawus . ! ou were ever

ou r friend : we have long difcovered ou r

errors with regard to you,and repented

of ou r ingratitude . After the vile u fage

you then received at my hands,I am a l

m oft afham ed to behold your face yetI hope you

’ l l forgive me,as I wa s de

ce ived by a bafe ungenerous wretch,who

,

under the m afk of friendfh ip, has un

done me .”

It is im pofi i ble , replied Mr . Burchell ,that I fhou ld forgive you ,

as you never

deferved

1 66 The V I CAR of WAKEF I E LD .

deferved my refentm ent . I partly fawyour delu fi on then

,and as it was out of

my power to reftra in, I could only pity

it !”

It was ever my conj ecture,cried I ,

t hat your mind was noble ; but now I

find it fo . But tel l me, my dear child,how haft thou been relieved, or who the

rufli ans were who carried thee away ?

Indeed,Sir

,replied fhe

,as to the

villain who brought me off,I am yet ig

not ant . For as my mamma and I were

walking ou t,he came behind us

,and

a lm oft before I could cal l for help,for

ccd me into the poft - cha ife,and in an in

ftant the horfe s drove away. I met fe

veral on the road,to whom I cried ou t

for affi ftance but they d ifrega rded my

entreaties . In the mean time the t ufli an

him felf u fed every art to hinder me from

crying ou t : he flattered and threatenedu by


1 68 The V ICAR of WAKEFI LD .

ordered him at his peri l to retire ; but

Mr. Burchell running up, fhivered his

fword to pieces, and then p urfu ed himfor near a quarter of a mile ‘

; but he

made his efcape . I was at this time

come ou t m yfelf, willing to afli ft my de

liverer ; but he foon returned to me in

triumph . The poftillion, who was re

covered,was going to make his efcape

too ; but Mr . Burchell ordered him at

his peril to mount again,and drive back

to town . Finding it im poffi ble to refift,he reluctantly complied

,though the

wound he had received feem ed,to me at

leaft,to be dangerous . He continued

to complain of the pain as we drove a

long,fo that he at laft excited Mr . Bur

chell’

s com pa ffi on, who, at my requ eft,

exchanged him for another at an innwhere we called on ou r return .

Welcome then,cried I

,

“my child,

and thou her ga ll ant del iverer,a thou fand

wel

The V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

welcomes . Though our cheat i s butwretched

,yet ou r hearts are ready to re

ce ive you . And now,Mr . Burchell

,as you

have delivered my girl,if you think her

a recompence fh e is yours,if you can

ftoop to an all iance with a family fo poor

as mine,take her

,obtain her confent , as

I know you have her heart,and you

have mine . And let me tell you,Sir,

that I give you no fm a ll tre afu re,fhe has

been celebrated for beauty it istrue,but

that is no t my meaning,I give you up

a treafu re in her mind .

”

But I fu ppofe , Sir, cried Mr . Burchell ,that you are apprized ofmy circu m ftances ,and of my incapacity to fu pport her

as fhe deferves ?”

If your prefent obj ect ion, replied I ,be meant as an evafion of my offer

,I

defift : but I know no man fo worthy to

deferve her as you ; and if I could give

VO L . 1 1 . I her


her thou fands,and thou fands fought her

from me,yet my honeft brave Burchell

fh ou ld be my deareft choice .”

To all this his filence alone feem ed to give

a mortifying refii fa l,and without the le aft

reply to my offer,he demanded if we could

not be fu rnifhed with refrefhm ents from the

next inn,to which being anfwered i n the

affirmative,he ordered them to fend in the

beft dinner that could be provided upon

fu ch fhort notice . He befpoke alfo a do

zen of their beft wine ; and fome cordials

for me . Adding,with a fm i le

,that he

would ftre tch a l ittle for once,and tho ’

in a pri fon, afferted he was never better

d ifpofed to be merry . The waiter foon

made his appearance with preparations for

dinner, a table was lent us by the gaoler,who feem ed rem arkably affidu ou s

,the wine

was d ifpofed in order, and two very welldreft d ifhes were brought in .



room, I could perceive he regarded Mr .

Burchell with a look of aftonifhm ent and

reverence . “Come on,

” cried I,

“myfon

, though we are fallen very low,yet

providence has been pleafed to grant us

fome fm a ll relaxation from pain . Thy

fifter i s reftored to us,and there is her

deliverer : to that brave man it is that I

am indebted for yet having a daughter,give him

,my boy

,the hand of friend

fhip , he deferves ou r warm eft gratitude .

My fon feem ed all this while rega rdlefs

of what I faid,and ftill continued fixed at

refpectfu l d iftance . My dear brother,

”

cried his fifter,why don ’t you thank my

good deliverer the brave fhou ld ever

love each other .

He fti ll continued his filence and afto

nifhm ent , t ill ou r gu eft at laft pe i ce i vedhim felf to be known

,and a ffum ing all his

native

I'

he V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D . 1 73

native dignity,defired my fon to come for

ward . Never before had I feen any thing

fo truly m aj eftic as the a ir he affum ed u p

on this occafion. The grea teft obj ect in

the univerfe,fays a certain philofopher, i s a

good man ftru ggling with adverfity ; yet

there is ft ill a greater,which is the good

man that comes to rel ieve it . After he

had regarded my fon for fome time with

a fuperior air,“I again find

,

’

faid he,

unthinking boy,that the fame crime”

But here he was interrupted by one

of the gaoler’s fervant s,who came to in

form u s that a perfon of diftinction,who

had driven into town with a chariot and

fevera l attendants , fent h is refpects to the

gentleman that was with us,and begged

to know when he fhou ld think proper to

Bid the fellow wait,

cried ou r guelt,t il l I fha ll have le ifu re to

be waited upon .

receive him ; and then turning to myfon

,

“I again find,Sir

,

” proceeded he,

“that you are guilty of the fame offence

l 3 for


for which you once had my reproof,and

for which the law is now preparing its

j u fteft punifhm ents . ! ou imagine,per

haps,that a contempt for your own l ife

,

gives you a right to take that of ano

ther : but where, Sir, i s the difference

between a du e lift who hazards a l ife of

no value,and the murderer who acts

with greater fecu rity ? Is it any dimi

nu t ion of the gam efter’

s fraud when healledges that he has ftaked a coun

ter

Alas,Sir

,cried I

,whoever you

are,pity the poor m ifgu ided creature ;

fo r what he has done was in obedience

to a deluded mother,who in the bitter

nefs of her refentm ent required him up

on her bleffing to avenge her quarrel .

Here,Sir

,i s the letter

,which will ferve

to convince you of her imprudence and

dim inifh his guilt .”



there be injury,there fhall be redrefs ; and

this I may fay without boafting, that

none have ever taxed the inju ftice of SirWilliam Thornhill .

We now found the perfonage whom we

had fo long entertained as an harm lefs a

m u fing companion was no other than the

celebrated Sir Will iam Thornhill,to whofe

virtues and fingu lari t ies fcarce any were

ftrangers . The poor Mr . Burchell was in

reality a man of large fortune and great in

t ereft,to whom fena tes liftened with ap

plau fe , and whom party heard with con

viction ; who was the friend of his coun

try,but loyal to his king . My poor wife

recollecting her former familiarity,feem ed

to fhrink with apprehenfi on ; but Sophia ,who a fewmoments befo i e thought himher own

,now perceiving the i nm enfe dif

tance to which he was removed by fortune,was unable to conceal her tears .


Ah,Sir

,cried my wife

,with a pi

teou s afpect, how is it poffi ble that I can

ever have your forgivenefs ; the flights

you received from me the laft time I had

the honour of feeing you at our hou fe ,and the j okes which I a u da cioufly threw

out,thefe j okes

,Sir

,I fear can never be

forgiven .

”

My dear good lady,returned he with

a fm ile,

“if you had your j oke, I h ad my.

anfwer : I ’ll leave it to al l the company ifmine were no t as good as yours . To faythe truth

,I know no body whom I am d if

pofed to be angry with at prefent but the

fellow who fo frighted my little girl here .

I had not even time to examine the raf

cal ’s perfonfo as to defcribe him in an advert ifem ent . Can you tell me

,Sophia

,

my dear, whether you fh ou ld know himagain ?”

Indeed, Sir, repl ied fhe , “I can’t be

pofi t ive ; yet now I recollect he had1 5 a

1 78 The VI CAR of WAKEF I E L D .

a large mark over one of his eye- brows .

I afk pardon,madam

,interrupted Jen

k infon,who was by

,but be fo good as

to inform me if the fellow wore his own

red hair Yes,I think fo cried

Sophia . And did your honour,conti

nu ed he,turning to Sir Will iam

,obferve

the length of his legs ? — “I can ’t be

fure of their length,

” cried the Baronet,

but I am convinced of their fwiftnefs ;for he ou t - ran me

,which is what I thought

fewmen in the kingdom could havedone .” Pleafe your honour

,

” cried Jen

k infon,I knowthe man : i t is certainly the

fame ; the beft runner in England ; he has

beaten P inwire of Newcaftle,Timothy

Baxter is his name,I know him perfect ly

,

and the very place of his retreat this moment . Ifyour honourwill bid Mr . Gaoler

let two of his men go with me, I'l l engage

to produce him to you in an hour at fa r

theft.

” Upon this the gaoler was called,

who inftantly appearing, Sir Will iam dem anded



his familiarity,but the worthy man pre

vented her ; and taking the child, al l rag

ged as he was,upon his knee, What,

Bill,you chu bbv rogue

,cried he

,do

you remember your old friend Burchell

and D i ck too,my honeft veteran

,are

you here, you fha ll find I have not forgot

you . SO faying,he gave each a large

piece of gingerbread,which the poor fel

lows eat very heartily,as they had got that

morning but a very fcanty breakfaft .

We now fate down to dinner,which was

a lm oft cold ; but previou fly, my arm ftill

continuing painful,Sir William wrote a

prefcrip t ion, for he had made the ftu dv of

phyfic his am u fem ent,and was more than

moderately fkilled in the profeffi on: this

being fent to an apothecary who l ived in

the place,my arm was drefled

,and I

found a lm oft inftant aneou s rel ief. We were

waited upon at dinner by the gaoler him felf,

who was ;wi l l ing to do ou r gu eft all the ho

nour


nour in his power . But before we had well

dined,another m effage was brought from

his nephew,defi ring perm iffi on to appear,

i n order to vindicate his innocence and ho

nour,with which requ eft the Baronet com

plied,and defired Mr. Thornhill to be

introduced .

CHAP .


1 84 The V I CAR of WAKEFI EL D .

for his hofpi ta lity, and he him felf thrown

into a prifon perhaps but for refent ing

the infu lt ? His fon too whom you

feared to face as a man

Is it pofi ible , . Sir,interrupted his

nephew,

that my uncle could obj ect

that as a crime which his repeated inftru c

tions alone have perfu aded me to avoid .

”

Your rebuke,cried Sir William is

j u ft you have acted in this inftance pru

dently and well , though not quite as

your father would have done : my brother

indeed was the foul of honour but

thou— yes you have acted in this inftanceperfectly right

,and it has my warm eft

approbation .

”

And I hope,faid his nephew

,that

the reft of my conduct will not be found

to deferve cenfu re . I appeared,Sir

,with

this gentleman ’s daughter at fome places

of


of public am u fem ent thus what was le

vity, fcanda l called by a ha rfher name,and it was reported that I had debauch

ed her . I waited on her father in per

fon,will ing to clear the thing to his fa

t isfaction,and he received me only with

infu lt and abu fe . As for the reft, with

regard to his being here,my a ttorney

and ftewa rd can beft inform you ,a s I

commit the management of bu finefs en

t irely to them . If he has contracted debtsand is unwill ing or even unable to pay

them,i t is their bufinefs to proceed in

this manner,and I fee no hardfh ip or in

ju ftice in pu rfu ing the m oft legal means

of redrefs .

”

If this,cried Sir Will iam

,

“be as

you have fta ted it , there is nothing un

pardonable in your offence,and though

your conduct might have been more generou s in not fu ffering this gentlemanto be oppreffed by fubordina te tyranny,yet it has been at leaft equitable .


He cannot contradict a fingle part icu

lar,replied the ’Squire

,

“I defy him

to do fo,and fevera l of my fervants are

ready to a t teft what I fay Thus, Sir,’

continued he,finding that I was filent

,for

i n fact I could not contradict him,thus,

Sir,my own innocence is vindicated ; but

though at your entrea ty I am ready to for

give this gentleman every other offence,

yet his attempts to leffen me in your e

fteem,excite a refentm ent that I cannot

govern . And this too at a time whenhis fon was actually preparing to takeaway my life ; this, I fay, was fu ch guilt ,that I am determined to let the law takeits cou rfe . I have here the challenge thatwas fent me and twowitneffes to prove it ;and even though my uncle him felf fhou lddiffu ade me

,which I know he will not

,

yet I will fee public ju ftice done, andhe fha ll fulfer for i t .”

Thou m onfter,cried my wife haft

thou not had vengeance enough a l

ready


1 88 The V ICAR of WAKEF I ELD .

in cu ftody, he feem ed to fhrink back withterror. His face became pale with confci

o u s guilt, and he would have withdrawn

but Jenk infon who perceived his defign,ft0pt him What

,

’Squire,cried he ,

are you afham ed Of your two o ld a cqu a in

tances, Jenk infon and Baxter : but this

is the way that all great men forget t heir

friends,though I am refo lved we will not

forget you . Our pr ifoner, pleafe your

honour,continued he

,turning to Sir

William,has already confeffed all . He

decla res that it was Mr . Thornhill who

firft put him upon this affair,that he gave

him the cloa ths he now wears to appear

like a gentleman,and fu rnifhed him with

the poft- cha ife The plan was laid be

tween them that he fhou ld carry off the

young lady to a place of fafe ty, and

that there he fhou ld threaten and terrify

her but Mr. Thornhill was to come in

in the mean t ime,as if by accident

,to her

refcu e,and that they fhou ld fight awhile

and


and then he was to run off,by which

Mr . Thornhil l would have the better op

portunity of gaining her affections himfe lf under the character of her defender .”

SirWill iam remembered the .coa t to have

been frequently worn by his nephew,and

all the reft the prifoner him felf confirmed by

a more circum ftant ia l account ; concluding,that Mr. Thornhill had often declared to

him that he was in love with both fi fters at

the fame time .

Heavens,cried Sir William

,

“what

a viper have I been foftering in my bo

fom ! And fo fond of publ ic ju ftice too

as he feem ed to be . But he fha ll have

it ; fecu re him , Mr. Gaoler— yet hold,I fear there is not legal evidence to detain him .

Upon this,Mr. Thornhill , with .the u t

moft humil ity,entreated that two fu ch a

bandoned wretches might not be admitted( 6 as


as evidences aga inft him,but that his fer

vants fhou ld be examined . Your fer

vants,replied Sir Will iam

,wretch

,

cal l them yours no longer : but come let

us hear what thofe fellows have to fay,let his butler be called .

”

When the butler was introduced,he

foon perceived by his former m after’

s looks

that all his power was nowover . Tell me,”

cried Sir William fternly, have you ever

feen your m after and that fel low dreft

up in his cloa ths in company together ?”

Yes, pleafe your honour,

” cried the butler,

a thou fand times : he was the man thatalways brought him his ladies .” How

,

”

interrupted young Mr . Thornhill,

“thisto my face !” Yes

,

” replied the butler,

or to any man ’s face . T o tel l you a

truth,M after Thornhill

,I never either

loved you or l iked you,and I don ’t care

if I tell you now a piece of my mind .

”

Now then,

” cried Jenk infon, tel l his

ho


1 92 The VI CAR of WAKEFI LD .

alarms me . Al l his guilt is now too

plain,and I find his prefent profecu t ion

was dictated by tyranny, cowardice and

revenge at my requ eft, Mr . Gaoler, fet

this young officer,now your prifoner, free,

and t ru ft to me for the confequ ences .

I ’l l make it my bufinefs to fet the affair in

a proper light to my friend the m agiftra te

who has committed him . But where is

the unfortunate young lady herfelf: le t

her appear to confront this wretch,I long

to know by what arts he has fedu ced her

honour . Entreat her to come in . Where

is lh e 5

Ah,Sir

,said I

,

“that qu eftion ftings

me to the heart : I was once indeed hap

py in a daughter, but her m iferies

Another interruption here prevented me ;for who fhou ld make her appearance but

M ifs Arabella Wilmot,Who was next day

to have been married to Mr . Thornhill .

Nothing could equal her furpriz e at feeing

Sir


Sir Will iam and his nephewhere beforeher ; for her arrival was quite accidental .

It happened that fhe and .the old gentleman her father were pafling through the

town,on their way to her aunt’ s

,who had

infi fted that her nuptials with Mr. Thorn

hil l fli ou ld be confum m a ted at her hou fe

but ftopping for refrefhm ent,they pu t up

at an innat the other end of the town It

was there from the window that the young

lady happened to obferve one of my little

boys playing in the ftreet and inftant lyfending a footman to bring the child to

her,lhe learnt from him fome account of

ou r misfortunes ; but was ftill kept igno

rant Of young l\/Ir . T hornhill’

s being

the cau fe . Though her father made

fevera l rem onftrances on the impropriety of

going to a, prifon to vifit us, yet they were

ineffectual fhe defired the child to conduct

her,which he did

,and it was thus lhe fu r

pr-ifed us at a j uncture fo unexpecte d .

VOL . 11 .

1 94 The VI CAR of WAKEF IEL D .

Nor can I go on,without a reflection on

thofe accidental meetings, which, though

they happen every day,feldom excite o u r

fu rpriz e but upon fome extraordinary occa

fion. To what a fortuitous concurrence do

we not owe every pleafu re and convenience

of ou r l ives . How many feem ing accidents

m u ft unite before we can be cloa thed or

fed. The peafant m u ft be difpofed to la

bour,the fhower m u ft fall

,the wind fil l

the merchant ’s fail,or numbers m u ft want

the u fu a l fu pply .

We all continued filent for fome mo

m ents , while my charming pupil , whichwas the name I generally gave this young

lady,united in her looks com paffi on and

a ftonifhm ent,which gave new finifhings to

her beauty . Indeed,my dear Mr . Thorn

hill ,” cried fhe to the ’Squire

,who fhe

fu ppofed was come here to fu ccou r and

not to Opprefs us . I take it a l ittle un

kindly that y ou fhou ld come here with‘3

ou t



O goodnefs , cried the lovely girl ,how have I been deceived ! Mr. Thornhill

informed me for certain that this gentle

man ’s eldeft fon,Captain Prim rofe

, was

gone off to America with his newmarried lady .

My fweeteft m ifs,cried ‘ my

wife , he has told you nothing but fa lfe

hoods . My fon George never left

the kingdom,nor never was married .

Tho’ you have forfaken him,he has a l

ways loved you too well to think of any

body elfe and I have heard him fay hewould die a batchellor for your fake .”

She then proceeded to expatiate upon thefincerity of her fon ’s pafi i on, fhe fet his duelwith Mr . Thornhill in a proper light

,from

thence fhe made a rapid digrefli on to the’Squire ’s debaucheries

,his pretended marri

ages,and ended with a m oft infu lting pic

ture of his cowardice .

The V I CAR of WA K EF I EL D . 1 97

Good heavens !” cried M ifs Wilmot ,howvery near have I been to the brinkof m in! But how great is my pleafu re

to have efcaped it ! Ten thou fand fa lfe

hoods has this gentleman told me ! He had

a t‘

laft art enough to perfu ade me that my

prom ife to the only man I efteem ed was

no longer binding,fince he had been un

faithful . Bv his fa lfehoods I was taught

to deteft one equ ally brave and gene

rous !”

But by this time my fonwas freed from

the incumbrances of ju ftice . Mr . Jenkin

fon alfo, who had acted as his valet dechambre

,had dreffed up his hair

,and fu r

nifhed him with whatever was neceffary to

make a genteel appearance . He now there

fore entered,handfom ely dreft in his re

gim enta ls,and

,without vanity

, (for . I

am above it) he appeared as handfom e

a fellow as ever wore a mil itary drefs .

K 3 As


As he entered,he made M ifs Wilmot a mo

deft and diftant bow,for he was not as

yet acquainted with the change which the

eloquence of his mother had wrought in

his favour . But no decorums could t e

ftra in the impatience of his blu fhing m if

trefs to be forgiven Her tears,her looks

,

all contributed to difcover the real fenfa t ions

of her heart for having forgotten her former

prom ife and having fu ffered herfelf to be

deluded by an im poftor . My fonappeared

amazed at her condefcenfion,and could

fcarc’

e believe it real Sure,madam

,

cried he,this is but delu fion ! I can ne

ver have merited this To be bleft thus

is to be too happy .

”NO

,Sir ; t e

plied fhe,

“I have been deceived,bafely

deceived,elfe nothing could have ever

made me unju ft to my prom ife . ! ou

know my friendfhip , you have long known

it ; but forget what I have done, and

as you once had my wa rm eft vows of

“con


200 The V I CAR of WAKEFI ELD .

longer a poor dependant upon your fa

vou rs . I fcorn them. Nothing cankeep

M ifs Wi lmot’s fortune from me,which ,

I thank her father’s afli du i’

ty, is pret ty

large . The articles,and a bond for her

fortune,are figned , and fafe in my pof

feffi on. It was her fortune, not her per

fon,that induced me to wifh for

‘

this

match,and poffeffed of the one , letwhofe

will take the other .

This was an alarming blow,Sir Willi

am was fenfible of the j u ftice of his claims,

for he had been inftrum enta l in drawing up

the marriage articles him felf. Mifs Wi l

mot therefore perceiving that her fortune was

irretrievably loft,turning to m y fon, fhe

afked if the lofs of fortune cou ld leffenher

value to him . Though fortune,

”faid fhe

,

is ou t of my power,at leaft I have my

hand to give .

The VI CAR of WAKEF I ELD . 201

And that,madam

,cried her real lover

,

was indeed all that you ever had to give ;at leaft all that I ever thought worth the

acceptance . And I now pro teft, my

Arabella,by all that ’s happy

,yourwant

of fortune this moment encreafes my

pleafu re, as it ferves to convince my fweetgirl of my fincerity .

Mr. Wilmot nowentering, li e feem ed

not a l ittle pleafed at the danger his daugh

ter had j u ft efcaped, and read ily confentedto a d iffo lu t ion of the match . But finding

that her fortune,which was fecu red to Mr.

Thornhill by bond,would not be given up

,

nothing could exceed his difappo intm ent .

He now fawthat his money m u ft all go to

enrich o ne who had no fortune of his own .

He cou ld bear his being a rafca l ; but to

want an equivalent to his daughter ’s fortune

was wormwood . He fate therefore for fome

minutes employed in the m oft mortifying

fpecu la t ions, till Sir Will iam attempted to


leffen his anxiet’y . I m u ft confefs, Si r,

cried he,that your prefent difappo int

ment does not entirely d ifpleafe me .

Your immoderate paffi on for wealth is

now j u ftly punifhed . But tho’ the young

lady cannot be rich,fhe has ftill a com

petence fu fficient to give content . Here

you fee an honeft young fo ldier,who is wil

l ing to take her without fortune ; they

have long loved each other,and for the

friendfh ip I bear his father, my intereft

fha ll not be wanting for his promotion .

Leave then that ambition which difappoints you

,and for once admit hap

happ inefs which courts your acceptance .”

Sir William,replied the old gentle

man,be a ffu red I never yet forced her

inclinations,nor will I now. If fhe ftill

continues to love this young gentleman ,let her have him with all my heart .

There is ftill , thank heaven, fome fortune

left,and your prom ife will make it

fome


204 The VI CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

lovely bride,

nowlet the wretch take myfortune ; fince you are happy without it fo

am I . O what an exchange have I made

from the bafe ft of men to the deareft

beft !— Let him enj oy ou r fo‘rtune I now

can be happy even in indigence .” And

I prom ife you,” cried the ’Squire

,with a

mal icious grin,that I fha ll be very happy

withwha t you defpife .

”-“Hold

,hold,Sir,

cried Jenk infon, there are two words to thatbargain . As for that lady’s fortune, Sir,you fha ll never touch a fingle ftiver of

it . Pray your honour,” continued he to

Sir Will iam,

” can the ’Squire have this

lady’s fortune if he be married to ano

ther ?”

fim ple d emand,” replied the Baronet

,

“IHOVV can you make fu ch a

undoubtedly he cannot .” —“I am fo‘rry

for that,

” cried Jenk infon for as this

gentleman and I have been old fellow

fporters, I have a friendfhip for him .

But I mult declare,well as I love him

,

that his contract i s not Worth a tobacco

ftopper,


ftopper, for he is married already .

! ou l ie, l ike a rafca l,returned the

’Squire,who feem ed rowed by this infu lt ,

I never was legally married to any woNman . Indeed

,begging your honour’s

pardon,replied the other

,you were ;

and I hope you will fhewa proper re

turn of friendfhip to your own honeft

Jenk infon, who brings you a wife, and

if the company reftra ins their cu riOfitya fewminutes, they fha ll fee her .

”—So

faying he went off with his u fu a l celerity,and left us all unable to form any proba

ble conj ecture as to his defign Ay let

him go,

” cried the ’Squire,whatever

elfe I may have done I defy him there .

I am too old now to be frightened with

fqujbs.”

I am furprifed, faid the Baronet,

what the fellow can intend by this . Some

low piece of humour I fu ppofe !

Perhaps, Sir, replied I , “he may have

a more


a more feriou s meaning . For when we

reflect on the various fchem es this gen

t lem an laid to fedu ce innocence,perhaps

fome one more artful than the reft has

been found able to deceive him . When

we confider what numbers he has ru

ined,how many parents now feel with

angu ifh the infamy and the contamination

which he has brought into their families,

it would not fu rprife me if fome one of

them -Amazement ! Do I feemy loft dau gh

ter! DO I ho ld her ! It is,it Is my life

,my

happinefs . I thought thee loft,my Olivia

,

yet fti ll I hold thee— and ft i ll fh a lt thou

l ive to blefs me .” —The warm eft tranf

ports of the fondeft lover were not great

er than mine when I fawhim introducemy child, and held my daughter in mya rms,whofe fi lence only fpoke her raptures .And

'

art“ thou returned to me,my dar

ling,cried I

,to be my comfort in

age That fhe is,cried Jenk infon,

and make much of her,for fhe i s your

own



and m arried them both as faft as the

cloth could make them . Perhaps you ’l l

think it was generofi ty that made me do all

this . Bu t no . To my fham e I confefs it,

my only defign was to keep the licence

and let the ’Squire know that I couldprove it upon him whenever I thought

proper,and fo make him come down

whenever I wanted money .

” A bu rft of

pleafu re now feem ed to fill the whole apart

ment ; our j oy reached even to the common room

,where the prifoners them fe lves

fym pa thiz ed,

And fhook thei r cha in;

In t ranfp or t and rude ha rmony .

Happinefs expanded upon every face,and even Olivia ’s cheek feem ed flu fhed with

p leafu re . To be thus reftored to reputa

tion,to friends and fortune at once

,was a

rapture fu fficient to ftop the progrefs of de

cay and reftore former health and vivacity.

But perhaps among al l there was not onewho


who felt fincerer p leafu re than I . Stil l

holding the dear- loved child in my arms,

I afked my heart if thefe tranfports were not

delufion. How could you,

” cried I,turn

ing to Mr . Jenk infon,“how could you

add to my m iferies by the ftory of her

death ! But it matters not,my pleafu re at

finding her again,i s more than a recom

pence for the pain .

As to your qu eftion, repl ied Jenkinfon

, that is eafily anfwered . I thought

the only probable means of freeing youfrom prifon, was by fubm itt ing to the’Squire

,and confent ing to his marriage

with the other young lady . But thefe

you had vowed never to grant while your

daughter was l iving,there was therefore

no other method to bring things to bear

but by perfu ad ing you that fhe was dead .

I prevailed on your wife to j oin in the de

ce i t,and we have not had a fit oppor

tunity of undeceiving you t ill now.

2 10 The VI CAR of WAKEFILD .

In the whole a ffem bly now there only ap

peared two faces that did no t glow withtranfport . Mr . Thornhill ’s affu rance had

entirely forfaken him : he now fawthegulph of infamy and want before him

,and

trembled to take the plunge . He the i efore

fell on his knees before his uncle,and in a

voice of piercing m ifery implored com paf

fion. Sir William was going to fpu rn him

away,but at my requ eft he ra ifed him,

and

after pau fing a fewmoments, Thy vices,

crimes,and ingratitude

,

”cried he

,

“deferve no tendernefs ; yet thou fhalt not

be entirely forfaken,a bare competence

fha ll be fu pplied , to fupport the wants of

l ife,but not its follies . This young

lady,thy wife

,fha ll be put in pof

fefli on of a third part of that fortune

which once was thine,and from her ten

dernefs alone thou art to expect any

extraordinary fu pplies for the future .

He was going to exprefs his gratitude for

fu ch k indnefs in a fet fpeech ; but the

Baronet


2 1 2 The’

V I CAR of WAKEFI EL D .

my daughter Sophia,who

,for fome rea

fons we could no t comprehend,did not

feem perfectly fa t isfied .

“I think now,

”

cried he,with a fm ile

,that al l the com

pany,except one or two

,feem perfectly

happy . There only remains an act of

ju ftice for m e to do . ! ou are fenfi ble ,Sir

,

” continued he,turning to me

,of the

obligations we both owe Mr . Jenkinfonfor his late affidu ity in detecting a fcoun

drel It is but j u ft we fhou ld both i e

ward him for it . Your youngeft daugh

ter,Miss Sophia

,will

,I am fure

,make

him very happy,and he fha ll have“ from

me five hundred pounds as her fortune,

and upon this I am fure they can l ive

very comfortably together. Come,M ifs

Sophia,what fay you to this match of my

My

poor girl feem ed a lm oft finking into her

mother ’s arms at the hideous propofa l .Have him

,Sir ! cried fhe faintly. N0

,

What,cried he again

,

not

making ? Wi ll you have him ?”

Sir,never .

The V I CAR of WAK EF I EL D .

not have Mr . Jenkinfon, your benefacto

an handfom e young fellow,with five hun

dred pounds and good expectations !”

I beg,Sir

,

” returned fhe,fcarce able

to fpeak ,

“that you ’l l defift and notmake me fo very wretched . Was

ever fu ch obftina cy known , cried he

again,to refu fe a man whom the fam ily

has fu ch infinite Obligations to,who

has preferved your fi fter . What nothave him !” No

,Sir

,never

,

” replied

fh e,angrily

,

“I ’d fooner die firft .

” “If

that be the cafe then,

” cried he,

“if you

will not have him— I think I m u ft have

you m yfelf.” And fo faying

,he caught

her to h is breaft with ardour . My love

l ieft, my molt fenfible of girls,cried h

how could you ever think your own Bur

chel l could deceive you,or that Sir Wil

l iam Thornhill could ever ceafe to admire

a m iftrefs that loved him for him fe lf a

lone ? I have for fome years fought for a

woman,who a ftranger to my fortune

could

2 14 The ‘V I CAR of WAKEF I EL D .

could think that I had merit as a man.

After having tried in vain,even am ongft

the pert and the ugly,how great at

laft m u ft be my rapture to have made a

conqu eft over fu ch fenfe and fa ch hea

venly beauty .

” Then turning to Jen

k infon,

“As I cannot,Sir

,part with

this young lady m yfelf, for fhe has taken a

fancy to the cut of my face,all the re

com pence I can make is to give you her

fortune,and you may call upon my ftew

ard to-morrow for five hundred pounds .”

Thus we had all our compliments to t e

peat,and Lady Thornhill underwent the

fame round of ceremony that her fifters had

done before . In the mean time Sir Willi

am’s gentleman appeared to tell us that the

equipages were ready to carry us to the

inn,where every thing was prepared for

o u r reception . My wife and I led the van,

and left thofe gloomy m anfions of forrow.

The generous Baronet ordered forty pounds

to be d iftribu ted among the prifoners, and

Mr.


“00090m m wm m m om m m m aom wnw m m m om m

C H A P . X III .

The Conclu fion.

HE next morning as foon as I awakedI found my eldeft fon fitting by my

bedfide , who came to encreafe my j oy withanother turn of fortune in my favour . Firft

having releafed me from the fe tt lem ent that

I had made the day before in his favour,

he let me know that my merchant whohad failed in town was a rrefted at Antwerp

,

and there had given up effects to a much

greater amount than what was due to hi s

creditors . My boy ’ s generofi ty pleafed me

a lm oft as much as this unlooked for good

fortune . But I had some doubts whether I

VO L . 1 1 . L ought

2 1 8 The VI CAR of WAKEFI LD .

ought in j u ftice to accept his offer. WhileIwa s pondering upon this

,Sir William en

t ered the room,to whom I communicated

my doubts . .His opinion was,that as my

fonwas already poffeffed of a very affluentfortune by his marriage

,I might accept his

offer without any hefit a t ion. His bufinefs ,however, was to inform me that as he hadthenight before fent for the licences, and ex

pected them everyhou r,he hoped that I would

not refu fe my afli ftance in making all the

company happy that morning . A footman

entered while we were fpeaking,to tell us

that the m effenger was returned, and as I

was by this time ready,I went down , where I

found the whole company as merry as a ffiu

ence and innocence could make them . How

ever,as they were nowpreparing for a very

folem nceremony, their laughter entirely dif

pleafed me . I told them of the grave ,becom

ing and fubl im e deportment they fhou ld af

fume upon this m yftica l occafion, and read

them two homilies and a thefis of m y owncom



there will be no bu finefs done here today . This a t once reduced them

to reafon. The Baronet and his Lady

were firft married,and then my fon and

his lovely partner .

I had previou fly that morning given

orders that a coach fhou ld be fent

for my honeft neighbour Flamborough

and his family,by which means

,upon

our return to the inn,we had the p leafu re

of finding the two M ifs Flam boroughsal ighted before us Mr . Jenk infon gavehis hand to the e ldeft, and my fonMo

fes led up the other ; (and I have fince

found that he has taken a real l iking tothe girl

,and my confent and bounty he

fh a ll have whenever he thinks proper to

demand them .) We were no fooner re

turned to the inn,but numbers of my pa

rifhioners,hearing of my fu ccefs

,came to

congratulate me,but among the reft were

t li ofe who rofe to refcu e me,and whom

I for

The VI CAR of WAK E F I EL D . 2 2 1

I formerly rebuked with fu ch fharpnefs . Itold the ftory to Sir Will iam ,

my fon- in- law,

who went out and reproved them with great

feveri ty ; but finding them quite dif

heartened by his harfh reproof,he gave

them half a guinea a piece to drink his

health and ra ife their dej ected fp irits .

Soon after this we were called to a verygenteel entertainment

,whichwas dreft by

Mr. Thornhi ll ’s cook . And it may not be

improper to obferve with refpect to that

gentleman,that he nowrefides in qual ity of

companion at a relation’s hou fe, being verywell l iked and fe ldom fitting at the fide

table,except when there is no room at the

other for they make no ftranger of him .

His time i s pretty much taken up in keep

ing his relation,who is a l ittle melancholy

,

in fp irits, and in learning to blow the French

horn . My e ldeft daughter, however, ftill

remembers him with regret ; and fhe has

even


even told me,though I make a great fecret

of i t,that when he reforms fhe may be

brought to relent But to return,for

I am not apt to digrefs thus, when we

were to fit down to dinner ou r ceremonies

were going to be renewed . The qu eftionwas whether my e ldeft daughter, as being

a matron,fhou ld not fit above the two

young brides,but the debate was cut fhort

by my fonGeorge,who propofed, that the

company fhou ld fi t indifcrim ina tely, every

gentleman by his lady,This was t e

ce ived with great approbation by all,ex

cepting my wife, who I could perceive was

not perfectly fa t isfied,as fhe expected to

have had the pleafu re of fitting at the headof the table and carving all the meat for

all the company . But notwithftand ing this,i t i s im poffible to defcribe our good hu

mour. I can’

t fay whether we had more

wit am ongft us now than u fu a l but I‘am

certain we had more laughing,which an

fwered the end as well . One j eft I particu larlv


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The V I C A R - Forgotten Books you been bred apprentice to the bu ... of gentility afﬁxed to the character of an ... you pu blifhed your para doxes; well,