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Most of our life is spent trying to obtain four ofthe eight worldly concerns and trying to avoidthe other four. (Photo by Rex Kevin Aggabao)

Disappointment and delight—the eight worldly concerns

Venerable Thubten Chodron (VTC): Back in the 1970s, Lama Zopa Rinpoche compassionately taught us againand again the evils of the eight worldly concerns. Here’s what they are, listed in four pairs with each revolvingaround a certain kind of object.

1. Taking delight in having money and material possessions, and the other one in the pair is beingdisappointed, upset, angry when we lose them or don’t get them.

2. Feeling delighted when people praise us and approve of us and tell us how wonderful we are, and theconverse is feeling very upset and dejected when they criticize us and disapprove of us—even if they aretelling us the truth!

3. Feeling delighted when we have a good reputation and a good image, and the converse is being dejectedand upset when we have a bad reputation.

4. Feeling delighted when we experience sense pleasures—fantastic sights, sounds, odors, tastes and tactilesensations—and feeling dejected and upset when we have unpleasant sensations.

These eight worldly concerns keep us pretty busy in our life. Most of our life is spent trying to obtain four of themand trying to avoid the other four.

Lama Yeshe used to talk about how we have a yo-yo mind. "I get apresent! I feel so happy!" "I lost that wonderful gift. I’m so unhappy."Somebody says "You’re wonderful," and we feel up; somebody says,"You made a mistake," then our mood goes down. This constant yo-yomind is dependent on external objects and people and leaves usoblivious to how our mind is the actual source of our happiness andmisery. We have bought into the appearances of this life, thinking thatmoney and material things, praise and approval, a good reputation andmarvelous sense experiences are the epitome of happiness. In ourconfusion, we think these things will bring us lasting and perfect well-being. This is what our consumer culture tells us and we unthinkinglybelieve it. Then—at least in wealthy countries—we wind up disappointedand frustrated because we thought all of these things are the cause ofgenuine happiness and they aren’t. They bring their own set of problems—such as fear of losing them, jealousy when others have more, andempty feeling inside our hearts.

Sara Blumenthal (SB): How can we distinguish a destructiveworldly concern from something that seems almost benign, as in"This pleases my senses," and "I’m delighted in that" and we thinkwe’ll feel fine and won’t be disappointed if it’s taken away—where isthat line crossed that we should be careful of?

VTC: We have an extraordinary ability to justify, rationalize, deny, and fool ourselves. We think, "I’m not attached.This is not disturbing my mind." Yet the moment it is taken away from us, we freak out. That’s when we know thatwe have crossed the line. What is tricky is that the feeling that accompanies attachment is happiness. We ordinarybeings don’t want to give up happiness, so we don’t see that by clinging and grasping at it, we’re setting ourselvesup for disappointment when it goes away. If it’s a small attachment, then it’s a small disappointment. But when it’sa big attachment, we are devastated when it is gone. We have so much grief around that. For example, we seesomething we like—a cool car, some sports equipment, or whatever—and we buy it because we anticipate sensepleasure from it. In addition, we believe having it will create a certain image of ourselves so that others will thinkwe’re successful and will approve of us. Does having the car fill that inner feeling of emptiness inside of us? In

addition, since we’ve invested a lot in that car, when the neighbor accidentally dents it, we’re furious. It’s so sad—here we are with a precious human life and the possibility to generate impartial love and compassion for allsentient beings and to realize the nature of reality, and instead we use our lives to create a lot of negative karmaprocuring and protecting external things and people that we think will make us everlastingly happy.

SB: How can we check up that the feeling of happiness is not one that has a lot of attachment?

VTC: You mean before it crashes? You look at your mind. When we meditate we become aware of the "tone" or"texture" of our minds. I know when I get this kind of zing or a giddy feeling, then, definitely, it’s attachment. That’sone way to tell. When my mind says, "That’s super, how about a little bit more?" there’s attachment there, too. Forexample, if someone praises me, I want more. I never get to the point where I say, "That’s enough." When mymind doesn’t want to separate from someone or something, there’s usually attachment there. Another signal iswhen I become more self-absorbed, relishing my own delight and forgetting about the fact that I and other sentientbeings are drowning in samsara, then I know I’ve gone down the wrong path, the path of attachment.

SB: Is there a relationship between "all-pervasive suffering" and this cycle of having some worldlyconcern that we hang onto and experiencing disappointment?

VTC: All-pervasive suffering is having a body and mind under the influence of ignorance, afflictions and karma. Asbeings in the desire realm, we are glued to sense objects. So once we take those aggregates we are sitting in themiddle of it—unless we practice the Dharma and make our mind strong and clear.

For somebody at my level, the eight worldly concerns are the chief obstacles to practicing the Dharma. I’mnowhere near realizing the emptiness of inherent existence or eradicating the afflictions from their root. I canbarely concentrate more than a few moments when I meditate. My mind is immersed in the "mantra," "I want, Ineed, give me this, I can’t stand that!"

The expression "struggling for happiness" perfectly expresses what the eight worldly concerns are about. Westruggle for happiness, constantly trying to rearrange our world to get wealth, praise and approval, goodreputation, and sense pleasure and to avoid lack, blame, bad reputation, and unpleasant sensations. Lifebecomes a battle with the environment and the people in it, as we try to be near everything we like and get faraway from or destroy anything we dislike. This brings us so much grief and suffering because our mind is soreactive. We also create a lot of negative karma which brings future misery, and we’re too busy to practice thepath that makes our lives meaningful and leads to genuine peace and joy.

SB: How about those things we gather around us, telling ourselves this is what we will use to help otherbeings?

VTC: (laughs) I can’t tell you the number of people who have said to me, "I’m going to make a lot of money anduse it all for Dharma purposes." Once in a while they send a $10 donation. I joke a lot about the eight worldlyconcerns because we have to laugh at how we fool ourselves. One of Lama Yeshe’s skills was that he made uslaugh at ourselves while showing us how stuck and small-minded we could be.

Sometimes we Westerners misunderstand the teachings, thinking, "Without the eight worldly concerns there is noway for me to be happy, so Buddhism says it’s bad to be happy. Buddha thinks we’re virtuous only if we’remiserable." Or we think, "I’m bad because I am attached." We judge ourselves when there is attachment in ourmind. "Can’t I just enjoy this cheesecake? Buddhism is so strict and unreasonable!"

Actually Buddha wants us to be happy and is showing us the way to peace. We have to spend time reflecting onour life experiences, discerning what happiness is and what causes it. When we figure out that the eight worldlyconcerns are terrorists posing as sweethearts, we will let go of many misconceptions and won’t have to battle withattachment so much, because there will be wisdom that says, "This is nice and I enjoy it, but I don’t need it." Whenwe have that attitude there’s so much space in the mind because then whatever we have, whoever we’re with, weare satisfied.

SB: I’m thinking of people in situations of poverty who search for worldly things. Wouldn’t it be hard tofind the mental spaciousness to go beyond that?

VTC: On the one hand, it’s true that when we are in dire poverty, it is difficult to find the space to reflect on theworkings of our mind. On the other hand, I have seen people who have very little yet who are incredibly generous.In many impoverished places, people recognize, "All of us are poor. We’re all in this thing called “life” together, solet’s share what we have." Whereas in cultures where resources are plentiful, many people lack this attitudebecause they are so attached to things, and thus so fearful of losing them. Their ego identity is totally wrapped upin the eight worldly concerns.

For example, in Dharamsala, many years ago, an old nun with hardly any teeth invited me back to her homewhere she lived with her sister. It was a mud brick shack with a corrugated tin roof and dirt floor. They offered metea and kaptse (Tibetan sweet fried cookies) and were so warm and generous.

Another time I was teaching in Ukraine and stopped in Kiev for the day to see a friend of the man who wastranslating for me. The food she offered us was several varieties of potatoes. That’s all she had. But we were herguests so she pulled out some chocolate she had been saving and shared it with us. Although she had littlemoney, when we got to the train station she got some baked goods for us to have on the train.

I had a maroon cashmere sweater which I loved—talk about the eight worldly concerns! On the way to the trainstation the thought came into my mind to give Sasha my sweater. And instantly another thought said, "No! Get thatidea out of your mind, it’s unreasonable and stupid!" There I was, someone from a wealthy country, I was onlygoing to be there another couple of weeks, it was springtime, I didn’t really need the sweater and I could getanother sweater (perhaps not a beautiful cashmere one) back in the States. But I was so attached to that sweater.My mind was so painful and an internal civil war waged the whole ride to the station, "Give her the sweater! No,you need it. Give it to her. No, she won’t like it," on and on. Just before the train left the station, I gave her thesweater, and I’ll never forget the look of joy on her face. And to think my attachment and miserliness almostsabotaged that!

SB: We sometimes hear about the Peace Corps volunteer who comes back home and says, "This SouthAmerican community where I worked has no money but they are so happy, so much happier than us." Wereceive it with a lot of cynicism, thinking they must be fantasizing their experience. Or we’ll say, "If I didn’thave such a hectic life, I could be that way too." Why is it that in our society we don’t trust that we can behappy with less?

VTC: Our attachment blinds us. Not only do we have innate attachment, but also there is so much hype inWestern society about the joys of consumerism, and that generates more attachment. We are terrified ofquestioning the hype, so we discount somebody else’s experience. Or we think, "That’s okay for them, but Icouldn’t live like that."

SB: What other tools can people use when they explore whether something is good for them? Or seemsbenign? When they don’t know how to analyze whether it is proper to move forward? For example,"Should I stay in my relationship or should I ordain?" "Should I take that job?"

VTC: The criteria I use for making big decisions in my life are:

1. In which of these situations can I best keep ethical discipline ?

2. Which situation would be most supportive for me developing bodhichitta?

3. In which situation could I be of greatest benefit to others?

I don’t use the criteria, "Does it make me feel good?" That one doesn’t work!

SB: What is a good way to avoid getting attached to praise? When we receive approval and goodfeedback, we may wonder, "Should I listen to this praise as it might be really instructive, or might it beindulging in ego?"

VTC: When I first started teaching, people would come up and say, "That was a really good Dharma talk," and Inever knew what to say. So I asked (Buddhist teacher) Alex Berzin and he said, "Say ‘Thank you.’" I found that itworks. When I say thank you, they feel satisfied. In my mind, I know that anything people praise me for is actually

due to my teachers who taught me with great kindness. If somebody got some benefit from what I said, that’s good—but the praise actually goes to my teachers.

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