To Boldly Sit - How I Became a World Record Holder

8/10/2019 To Boldly Sit - How I Became a World Record Holder

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In 2003, with his uni life behind him, Jacob Aldridge watched more movies than any

other person in history.

This is the true tale of his triumph.

To Boldly Sit: How I became a World Record Holder

In December 2002, after a failed tilt at the UQ Student Union Presidency, I decided a

Road Trip* was in order. My friend Rob Byrne and I decided to drive to Melbourne and

the first stop on our 4,500km odyssey was, of course, a Book Store.

Rob was hunting a new translation of Sun TzusArt of War, but I picked up the Guinness

Book of World Records. As Rob looked over my shoulder, I opened the tome to a

random page

and there, catching our eyes simultaneously, was a record we had never seen before:Worlds Longest Movie Marathon.

Remarkably, the record in 2002 stood at a pithy 41 hours. We could watch movies for 41

hours. Heck, we could probably go longer. We could be world record holders!!

Clearly, destiny awaited. But how exactly does one go about breaking a Guinness World

Record? I jumped online, submitted my details, and waited for a response. I was

informed this could take 6-8 weeks.

Guinness Rules

Exactly 6-8 weeks later, an e-mail arrived. Attached were the strict rules of the Movie

Marathon, as well as news that the record had been broken: it now stood at 59 hours and

27 minutes.

The rules are tough. For instance, it has to be in a public cinema; you need two witnessesand a medical supervisor to be present at all times; and you can only go to the toilet

during a 15 minute break after every third film.

Realising we could veil this as a charity event to mask our egos, we decided to use the

event to raise money for the State Emergency Service (SES). They loved the idea, andbetter still most of them have medical training. Throw in a few med student friends, and

the witness condition was met!

We then went looking for sponsorship. Sure, the rules were strict, but they were open tointerpretation. A cinema basically meant a projection screen Panasonic jumped on

board to lend us two projectors.


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We talked to Damo at the now defunct Vs Caff Indooroopilly about giving us free

coffee he offered us half a caf, and agreed to remain open for the entire event.Suddenly, we had a cinema, a public place, and free coffee.

We quickly isolated the Toilet Rule as the toughest. Sure, you dont need a whizz every 6hours but what if youre not ready to go at the right time? What if youre busting, and

youre only halfway through The Godfather Part 1? There had to be a way around it

and there was. The rules say every third movie and later that all movies had to be

feature length (70 minutes for all you trivia fans). If we kept the films short, that meant

we could keep the piss-stops close together. It would also maximise our 15 minutes

breaks.

Rob and I started by putting together a list of movies, and their running time (which, with

the rules, included all the credits). Video Ezy Kenmore came on board, so we spent anhour there and an hour with our collections compiling the list.

That was when we discovered that Rob has no taste in films. (His version of events says I

have no taste in films, but I dont see him writing an article for Semper, so my version

sticks. History is written by the good looking.) We compromised, with the power to veto,

and in the end agreed it would be best to have mostly films we know and love anuntested and deathly boring film at 3am could sink us.

We grouped our selection into lots of three movies, pairing longer films with shorter

films so our toilet breaks were never more than 6 hours apart.

Finally, we had to select a team to break the record. Other attempts involved huge

numbers of random individuals the 59 hours was set at a cinema in South Africa by

more than 100 people but we knew a small group was the key. In the end, only twoothers felt they had it in them: good friends Brett Cruice and Joel Dawson.

The Day Arrives

We began our attempt on Saturday June 21st, 2003. Vs Caff had been remodelled into a

cinema. The videos were stacked up. The projectors were readied. The witnesses

arrived. The lights went down. AndBreakfast at Tiffanys(my favourite film) began. If

we were to break the record, we would need to live here and watch this screen from 9amSaturday to 8.28pm Monday night.

The first hours progressed as anticipated, and nervousness was replaced by the simmering

thrill that only comes when you make history. As the sun set June 21stwas the shortest

day of the year we settled in for the night.

Saturday passed without incident, but not even daylight could save Joel, who had started

the attempt under a cloud of illness. Despite me donning a frock and make-up to dance


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along to the choreographed cheerleading numbers, he fell asleep duringBring It Onand

was evicted.

As the movies blended into each other, it became an exercise in following rules andstaying awake. A routine developed; the first movie of any set was easy; in the secondfilm, a light snack to boost energy might be in order; only during the third film would one

consider a beverage usually water. We all made it past 36 hours without a single coffee.

Can you spell diuretic?

Then, tragedy struck. In the wee small hours of Monday morning, as we passed the 41

hour mark we had once aspired to, Robs poor taste in movies almost cost me the record.

Freddy Got Fingered, which I had been assured was riotously funny, was not. Strugglingto find meaning in a film devoid of humour, I went perilously close to snoozing. Despite

it being the first film in a set, I asked Damo to make me a coffee.

The caffeine was instantaneous. So too was the movement of all bodily fluids to mybladder.

I needed to pee. Badly. And there were still more than five hours, and at least one Adam

Sandler film, before I could use the bathroom.

Five hours. 300 minutes. 18,000 seconds. At least three lifetimes. In that time I invented,

refined, and mastered the art of Tantric bladder control.

Dawn crept through the window. It appeared that I was going to be survive. And inwalked an ABC Radio journalist with only one question on her mind. You will be pleased

to learn, dear reader, that in addition to holding a world record, I have been interviewed

live on ABC Radio about my incredible need to pee.

How badly did I need to go? How many minutes until I could? They even called a doctor

to discuss the damage I was doing to my kidneys he advised my bladder was bearingthe brunt of any lasting injury. Thanks Doc!

The journalist left, but I still had fifteen minutes. I pride myself on never giving up. I had

come so far. But this was too much. Taking a towel and an empty Gatorade bottle, I

relieved myself seated in the corner of a caf. Interestingly, if youre into this sort ofthing, peeing in a bottle is not against Guinness Rules. Workplace Health and Safety onthe other hand

Cometh the Hour

With this treacherous incident behind me, I knew the record would be mine. Not even a

technical glitch that threatened to end the attempt with the record in sight could dampen

my enthusiasm.


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8pm Monday passed. Vs Caff was packed. Phone calls were rolling in. I got a text

message from Scotland. And the crowd began the countdown.

Nothing and here I include Graduation, Childbirth, and walking on the moon cancompare with the moment the room erupted. We had done it. We had watched morefilms, under tighter conditions, than any person in history. Any person. Ever.

Jacobs Philosophical Crap

We eventually lasted four more hours, moving into Tuesday. We could have carried on,

but knew no matter what record we set it would eventually be broken. At that point we

were atop a pinnacle of endurance. We were the best in the world.

Our record 63 hours and 27 minutes was approved and acknowledged by Guinness

World Records. We never made the book, and our effort has been surpassed at least threetimes. I understand the current record sits at 72 hours. Others are preparing to break that.

Such is life. I have no desire to re-set the record Ive already achieved that. But the

memory of those days, and that moment, is something nobody can ever take away.

Jacob Aldridge

* If Roadtrippin is your thing, stay tuned for my new TV show -Roadtrippin to air on

Briz 31 early this year.

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To Boldly Sit - How I Became a World Record Holder