Inspire

Issue #13 November 2012

To Love Again Ministries

Content October 2012

Telling Yourself the 4 Whole Truth Use It or Lose It 7

Lost and Found 8

God Notices 10

Our Family Verse 12

Credits

Founder & Editor Kimberly Borst Writers Carolyn Copeland Mary Corey Sarah Williamson Beverly Huffman Kimberly Borst

Editing Alan Porter

Photography Cover Ron Dunnington (Unnamed with creative commons limited license)

Design Kimberly Borst

Copyright © To Love Again

Ministries 2012, Photos © very

To Love Again Ministries Pick of the month

This month we are highlighting a Movie called

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I would like to share something God

did in my life regarding the loss of my son Tim at age 21. What I learned that I've realize can be applied to many areas of life, but at the time it played out through a part of my grieving process.

It was about 1 1/2 or so years after my

son Timothy had died. I was driving

home from work one noon-hour when suddenly a thought hit me so strongly that I was compelled to continue thinking about it. It echoed in my head, 'Tim is dead!' I remember that I had been consistently resting in a beautiful peace that God had covered my life with, so whether this thought was my own, or possibly one of those 'fiery dart thoughts' the Bible tells us the enemy of our souls can shoot into our minds, and which we are to guard against by 'choosing' to think on things that are pure, lovely and of good report, it didn't really matter which source it was. As I pondered this thought, it was followed up by harsher and even more graphic ones. 'Tim died! Tim is gone! Tim was killed! Tim's bone was sticking through his leg! (Sorry, but this is where it was taking me) Tim's chest was crushed! You'll “never” see Tim in this life again!!' Well, you get the point... By the time I got home 10 minutes later I was literally overwhelmed with such sorrow and grief. Relieved to be alone, I ran upstairs and flung myself on my bed and had a huge gut wrenching time of sobbing for probably 20 minutes.

Now don't get me wrong. From time to

time, especially during the first 6 mos. after my loss, I would feel a cry needing to come up from my very gut.

Memories would come like an ambush; a kid skateboarding down the street, beautiful, spontaneous piano worship music drifting from my neighbor's window bringing recollections of how Tim often spontaneously blessed us with his musical gift ... or a sight like seeing the baby twins in a stroller dressed in costumes at the mall that first October. Sometimes it wasn't a good time to release my tears, so I would have to stuff them down till later, for in the shower or a time alone. Tears are a gift from God, often for the purpose of releasing our grief or pain. Tears can even carry toxins, so releasing them, not stuffing them is healthy for our spirits, souls, (mind, will & emotions) and bodies. This is why we most often feel better after a good, healthy cry. God has made provision for all we need, even down to the purpose of tears.

Back to my story - So after this time of

overwhelming darkness that had now settled on me like a heavy, thick black blanket of despair and hopelessness, I heard an ever so quiet voice within my spirit saying gently, (“My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27) “Ok, you've heard the truth. Now, tell yourself the WHOLE TRUTH.”... “The WHOLE TRUTH?”... I thought for a moment. “Well, alright then, the WHOLE TRUTH is, Yes, my Tim did die, BUT, he is alive in Heaven... Tim is in the very presence of his Lord! ...Tim is experiencing more joy and beauty than I can even imagine... Tim is still

fulfilling his music and prayer callings...Tim's challenges and sorrow are over forever... Tim is with my dear mother and precious niece... Tim's having an amazing time as he's helping to get ready for the rest of us, who know and love the Lord, to arrive that one fine day that’s coming!” Well Now! Let me tell you! What I had been thinking on was true, all true, the depressing, grievous 'partial truth'. You know, partial truth (incomplete, existing only in part) can be used against us. But the Whole Truth blesses, heals our hearts and sets us Free!

As I began that afternoon to tell myself

the WHOLE TRUTH, just as quickly as the heavy darkness had settled over and captured my soul, it began to lift, being replaced once again with that beautiful, quiet peace wrapping around my heart and soul and embracing me like a warm comforter. This experience was surely a defining moment in my 'thought life'. How much of our sorrows are brought on or increased by what we choose to think about or allow to remain in our thoughts?

Is your thought-life like a wild,

disobedient child running around wreaking havoc in your mind and with your heart? Supposing this or that worst case scenario with the worst possible outcome filled with fears and despair? Have you unwittingly ingrained patterns and habits of 'stinking thinking' without even

realizing you do have an enemy... and a choice?

"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." 2 Cor. 10:5 God promises us many things friends, but often to obtain and take hold of these precious promises we have to fulfill our part by obeying. "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8, 9 I am learning to tell myself the Whole Truth, through every trial and season of my life. I want this peaceful beauty of being and staying free that the WHOLE TRUTH brings to my life! Won't you tell yourself the WHOLE TRUTH too my friends?

Use It or Loose it Mary Corey

For me storage is a big issue, but not

in the way you might think. With a barn, two out buildings, and a full basement (which is not utilized for living space), I can stack stuff and store until the cows come home. For anyone who knows me this is not a good thing.

I admit that I am compulsive with

spending. If I need something and there are three left on the shelf they have to all be mine. (Sounds a little selfish huh) I can convince myself that I simply must have this wonderful, one of a kind, once in a life time thing, even if I don’t have a place to use it. It’s such a great deal.

Like many of us, I find myself spring

cleaning in the fall as well as in the spring and anytime in between which leads us to conclude that we are accumulating at an alarming rate. I guess I have been a slow learner. Now that it is my own money, with my age, health, and having only me to haul things in or haul them out, I find myself thinking twice about what I really need. What I need really isn’t very much. Oh, how I hate sitting at the flea market for an entire day trying to sell unwanted stuff. It’s painful having to let go of my “one of a kind”

treasures. I find it much easier to have never bought it in the first place and to have saved the money. It also allows me to go to more places and be with my friends and family.

Having done the flea market this fall

and donated what didn’t sell to my favorite charity, I have decided, like the season, to turn over a new leaf or two. If I don’t use something in 6 months or if I have to store something I think I need, I will only have to lose it and should not have bought it in the first place. I vow to have a better year in 2013 and to free myself from myself so I can stay clean and grounded.

Lost and Found Sarah Williamson

The dictionary definition of the word

“loss” is: “the state of being deprived of, or of being without something that one has had.” There isn’t a person in the world that hasn’t experienced loss in one way or another. Many people wonder why loss has to happen. Why must we lose the things or even the ones we love? I believe that as devastating as loss can be there is in fact a blessing in loss. Hardships make or break you, they show you that you can overcome, that you can bounce back and keep fighting. It makes up who you are as a person. It alters your perception and teaches lessons that can’t be found in a class. Loss is in fact one of the best teachers around.

The first loss I experienced that really

shook me to my core was the loss of a dear friend of mine. She is one of those people that you could count among real friends. I lost her due to a very tragic church shooting. I didn’t only lose Rachel, I lost a church I felt safe in, I lost trust in God, and I also lost faith in the general decency of people. At the age of sixteen I went through more change in three days than I had in my entire life. I went into mourning for a very unhealthy amount of time and entertained

When difficult times come kicking down our front door it is so easy to take on a victim mentality. I have been guilty of thinking that I am just a victim of this world. I get so caught up in the “why me?”, “why now?”, and “what did I do to deserve this” that I forget that because of who I am in Christ I am not a victim in this world, but a Triumphant warrior over evil. Isaiah 61:3 says “and provide for those who grieve (in Zion) -- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and the garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” This verse is one of the verses that I think is intended for those feelings of loss and despair. God is saying that we don’t have to carry around these empty feelings of hopelessness. He is saying that, like a phoenix, we can be completely consumed in flames but still rise from the ashes to be whole again.

thoughts that were destructive. Looking back though, I try not to remember the dark days. I was lost in the events that were happening in the world, but I was eventually found again in God.

When we use loss as a way to be found

in God, we are making sure that the loss that we went through isn’t in vain. When we take the hardest ugliest times of our lives and turn them into an applicable tool for our future, and then accept our loss for what it is, we better ourselves. When I decided to view Rachel’s death as a way to better myself rather than to use it as a tragedy that defines me, I learned that though it hurt very much, if I could learn to use something this devastating as a way to better myself then I could learn to be found in God in even the smallest losses of life.

Whether you are feeling on top of the

world or underneath the junk pile, God notices. He cares. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. He organized the chaos and made it useful. How did He do that? With the words He spoke.

The key to creating a heavenly

atmosphere in your home, church or on the job is this. Begin to speak the desired result in faith. When you look at lack, speak abundance. When you see sickness, speak health. When you sense fear, speak faith. Does that sound too simple?

Genesis chapter 1 repeatedly says “God

said” and “it was so.” God made people in His likeness. It works for the believer and the unbeliever. It also works on the positive and negative side. Have you ever made a comment like “I’ll never get …” or “There’s no way …” Have you ever said, “I’ll figure it out.” “It will work out.” Sure enough, what you said happened.

Faith-filled words will put you over.

Fear-filled words will defeat you. What would happen if you began to say the same things about yourself that God says? Your faith would grow. Faith pleases God. He is happy when His children imitate Him.

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Here are some confessions based on the

words that God speaks. They come from the Holy Bible. Begin to say these things out loud and watch God get involved in your life. Faith will come as you focus on God and His sufficiency. God notices when we speak in faith. He loves it when we trust Him enough to say what He says about the situations. Make God smile!

“Lord, You are my Shepherd. I will not want or lack for any good thing.” Psalm 23:1 “In peace I will lie down and sleep because You, Lord, alone make me to live in safety and confident trust.” Psalm 4:8 “

Meditating on and understand

Colossians 3, that we are truly God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved makes putting on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience easier. Bearing with each other and forgiving one another allow love to flow and uproots anger. Teaching our kids to forgive each other will hopefully be a life skill that carries over into adulthood. Having a heart of gratitude also brings life into the home. Children can be taught these things. First, we teach them by example, that is by taking them on ourselves; and secondly, by correcting negative behavior quickly in our children. We can also praise positive behavior. But most importantly we just have to keep instill in our children that they are love by God and us.

To live these things out is to live in

God’s love. Part of a relationship with God is applying His word. Only He can truly help us live it, but we must choose it. I would encourage you to study this verse or find one that speaks to your family. Let God’s word define your home and your life.

Our Family Verse Kimberly Borst

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy

and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your

hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:12-17

We adopted this verse as our family

verse some time ago. To apply it Michael and I try to cultivate an atmosphere of peace in our home. We are also teaching our children to treat each other with kindness and respect.

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