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Today’s Spiritual Woman

A magazine for women who want to explore their inner spirit and share with women all over the world.

Fall 2012 Issue

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MASABI Staff

Lola Carlile Ph. D. Art Therapist & Editor of Today’s Spiritual Woman

Cin Broyles Digital Creative Editor & Advertisement Liaison

Mind and Spirit and Body Improvement is proud to present our Fall 2012 issue of Today’s Spiritual Woman. We would like to thank every contributor to this issue and are always looking for new submissions. Please send your artistic expression for inclusion by E-mailing our Editor, Lola.

todayspiritualwoman@gmail.com

Advertisers! Tell us about your services or products. Full page for $200.00, half page $100.00, quarter page $50.00, your business card for $25.00 for photo ready advertisements.

If you need us to create a graphic ad for you, we would be happy to for an additional $20.00 with the inclusion of your own logo and images. For more information or to place your advertisement, E-mail Cin Broyles.

cinbroyles.masabi@yahoo.com

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/10/fall-is-in-the-air/100167/

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Advertisement Internship Available Help build awareness, revenue, and support for MASABI and Today’s Spiritual Woman Magazine. Qualified individuals may send in cover letter and resumé for this internship with possible commission to todayspiritualwoman@gmail.com. The position is ideal for a marketing or advertisement student in the Willamette Valley.

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/10/fall-is-in-the-air/100167/

http://www.masabi.org and also available on Amazon.com and Create Space.com

AVAILABLE NOW ON AMAZON! $12.99 for a limited time only!

Three Blind Men and a LadyPublication Date: September 12, 2012Lola Carlile infused her life with the love of art and when she retired from education, decided to return to the classroom to study art therapy. Little did she know the road ahead would be filled with intense challenges working with mentally ill adults with little or no sight. She tackled the challenges head on, discovering that the easy notion of using clay with these clients would not work - at least not at first. Fall in love with the characters as Carlile relates their story of struggling day to day to find peace and happiness - an experi-ence neither the author nor the readers will soon forget.

About the AuthorDr. Carlile is an educator, writer, art therapist, muse, and lover of life. She lives in the mighty Northwest with her husband of forty years. She is the founder of Masabi (Mind and Spirit and Body Im-provement), which is an organization created to help underprivi-leged women, children, and families. The online magazine, Today’s Spiritual Woman, appears quarterly online @ www.masabi.org.

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MindCrazy Cory Crow

Compatibility and Your Myers Briggs

Personality Type

Grown Up Cocktail Party

Halloween

RIFed (REDUCTION IN FORCE...cut).

Shrink Rap Poetry

Things that Irk me

RIFed

SpiritBlack Madonna

Condolences

Excerpt from Art as Therapy

Fears

House Husband

Jerk Sermon

Prayer Shawls

Sic in the Summer

Transition

Two Faces of Death

Adam Pardee http://www.flickr.com/photos/adampardeephoto/6663652141/sizes/l/in/photostream/

Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower. ~Albert Camus~

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BodyA Canadian’s View of the US - Food for Thought

Diabetes and the Holidays

The Healing Art of Reiki

Virtues of the Warrior Woman Workout

ImprovementCameroon

Cursive

Holiday Projects for the Kids

Maasai

The Positive Side of Life

Wet Nose

Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower. ~Albert Camus~

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Mind

Thomas Lieser http://www.flickr.com/photos/onkel_wart/2416291657/sizes/l/in/photostream/

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Crazy Cory Crow!By Vye

This is a fun and true story that children can read by themselves or

someone else can read it to them! Have the children draw Cory in their

favorite scene.

Karen loved animals. She joined a local group that saved injured animals.

One day the director of the group found a group of three little crows. Two

were healthy enough to fly away in a few weeks after being fed and cared for,

but the third little one’s wing was

injured. He would never be able to

fly away and join other crows.

But that didn’t bother Karen.

She took him home and named

him Cory. Cory had a nice, roomy

cage and Karen left the door to the cage open most of the time. Cory liked

that he could fly anywhere he wanted in the house.

One day Karen pointed to her shoulder. She pointed to and tapped her

shoulder. Cory looked at her. He looked again. He saw her finger touch her

shoulder. What was on that shoulder? He flapped his wings a bit and flew

the short distance and landed on Karen’s shoulder. It was nice and soft! She

smiled at him. Cory was happy.

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Cory loved being wet. Sometimes Karen would take a big water pistol out

of her bag and shower Cory with water. He would smile and shake. Karen

would begin to sing loudly. Cory danced even more. He shook so hard he got

dizzy. Karen laughed so loudly. What a sense of

humor this tiny bird had!

Cory loved music. He especially liked it when

Karen began to sing. He would shift from one

foot to the other. He would nod his head. “Go,

crazy Cory, go,” Karen would shout. Cory did

his best. He shimmied. He marched with his feet. He felt the music and he

felt the love Karen had for him.

One day Karen got a bright idea! Why not share Cory with others? He was

such a sociable little animal it was a shame to keep him all to herself, so she

called the local schools and managed to schedule a gig where she would take

Cory to the schools and talk about birds – crows in particular! The school

children were amazed and in awe of his antics. Cory seemed happy. Karen

seemed happy and many people found out about the delightful antics of a

small orphaned bird. Life was good all the way around!

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Compatibility and YourMyers Briggs Personality Type

It’s the classic story of the Odd Couple: she’s the life of

the party, while he gives any excuse to leave early. He’s

orderly and fastidious, while she leaves milk on the counter

and clothes on the floor. He’s logical, she’s emotional;

he’s from Mars, she’s from Venus. Much is made of the

idea that opposites attract, and we all know at least one of

these “odd couples” that makes a relationship work despite

major differences. But is it true that opposites attract? And

more importantly, what makes for the most successful

relationship—a stimulating opposite or a comforting

soul mate?

To determine your personality type use The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which is

the most common personality inventory available and it provides an easy to understand

synopsis of who you are! The theory is that we are fundamentally different in the way

we decide to do things, how we think, and how we organize events in our lives. These

attributes are divided into four areas.

•Extraversion/Introversion: This scale refers to where you focus attention and get your

energy. Extraverts are focused on the external world and other people, and are

energized by external stimulation and interaction with others. Introverts are more

focused on their internal world, thoughts, ideas, and feelings, and get energy from

spending time in solitary activity or quiet reflection.

 

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•Sensing/Intuition: This scale refers to how you prefer to take in information. Sensors

gather information in a very concrete, detail-oriented, and factual way. They tend to

be practical and oriented to the present moment. Intuitives tend to be more abstract in

their perceptions, and tend to think more about meaning, connections, and

possibilities. Intuitives are often more imaginative than realistic.

•Thinking/Feeling: This scale refers to how you prefer to make decisions. Thinkers

prefer decisions that are based on facts or data, and like to reason things out logically.

Feelers prefer decisions that are consistent with their values and help to build

harmonious relationships.

•Judging/Perceiving: This scale refers to how you prefer to organize your life.

Judgers tend to prefer structure, schedules, and plans. They like clear expectations

and feel accomplishment from completing tasks. Perceivers prefer an open-ended,

spontaneous and flexible existence. They enjoy feeling that their options are open

and that there are many possibilities available.

While we may be a little of each, our strengths are determined by our preferences.

When taking this assessment it is best to give a gut reaction

rather than sit and mull about what we think we are....

Hundreds of couples have taken this inventory and it

seems that some types are more compatible than others.

Some researchers even found that some types are far more

compatible than others and, in fact, the closer a couple

scored, the more compatible they might be. That does not

mean other types won’t be compatible, but it is something

to think about....In a 1981 study, researcher Ruth Sherman  

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found that differences on the Extraversion/Introversion scale caused the most conflict

in long-term relationships. In particular, combinations of Extraverted women with

Introverted men caused frustration, perhaps because this dynamic goes against our

traditional concept of the man being the more expressive and dominant partner.

However, this effect was found in a study that is over 20 years old. As we become more

progressive in our relationships and more open to equality, differences in this preference

area may become less important.

Some interesting results from research studies include:

•Sensing Judgers have a satisfaction rate of 79% when paired with other Sensing

Judgers. These types tend to be traditionalists who value and honor their commitments.

•Intuitive Feelers have a satisfaction rate of 73% when paired with each other.

Intuitive Feelers tend to place a high value on relationships and are the most likely of

all the types to devote themselves to healthy relationships and open communication.

•When partners have a Feeling preference in common, this can compensate for

differences in other areas, perhaps due to Feelers’ inclination to spend more time

and energy on their relationships in general.

•In some cases, having similar type preferences did not mean higher satisfaction.

Sensing, Thinking and Perceiving types had only a 33% satisfaction rate when paired

with other STPs. The researchers theorized that this is due to their findings that STPs

are the least concerned of all the types with the quality of their relationships.

•Similarly, Intuitive Thinking types only a 59% satisfaction rate when paired with another

Intuitive Thinker. These types tend to be among the most critical of their partners

and may be harder to please in general.

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Overall the studies indicate that couples paired with partners more similar were

most satisfied with their relationship. Common interests and backgrounds also account

for satisfaction. Trying to understand and appreciate differences is the bottom line and

problems can be turned into assets if the couple tries to understand the source of the

conflict.

Couples with personality differences who find ways to support and understand each

other often find their relationships especially rewarding. Partners with type differences

are able to stimulate and challenge each other and will learn from each other in a way

that similar partners cannot. They can also make more effective teams because they are

able to notice and compensate for each other’s blind spots

The bottom line is that mutual respect and cooperation determine the success of any

relationship.

Are you compatible? Take the Myers Briggs Type Indicator online now!

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The Dragonwoodby Charles Broyles

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Grown Up Cocktail PartyBy Vye

I can’t remember the last time that I hosted a small, intimate cocktail party, but in three weeks

that is exactly what is happening. What is even more amazing about this function is that it exists

because of my husband. That’s a miracle all in itself. He usually does not like company, frowns on

parties, and makes nasty comments when I do invite anyone over, so eventually, I just stopped.

It’s been years, except for parties with our grown

children….

So now I get all excited that he has asked me to be

part of his life for a change and to make some hors

d’oeuvres. I look online and am aghast at what I see: fish

with goat cheese, tuna with caper, bull something or the other, gluey shrimp – yikes! Even fish

eggs (yeah, I know caviar!).I hate seafood! So NO seafood at this party. I was kind of thinking

about weenies baked in crescent rolls. No? Why not? Is that too Texas?

I guess it was way back in the 80’s when we might have had something akin to a cocktail party

and it was in Austin….back to our party. The deck is newly painted and we have nice furniture.

Cleaning house is the easy part. But having three couples over whom I barely know (hubby is

in the guy Friday lunch bunch, so the men all know each other well) is going to be challenging.

Should I drink before they arrive? Or just take a valium and call it good? Or even both? Well, I

have some nice Enya that might put everyone to sleep, some wine, and I’m gonna let roll with

some nuts, crackers, cheese, and maybe a meatball or two with barbecue sauce, and, let’s not

forget the guacamole and chips – always gotta have those at a party. Wonder if I should go to

Trader Joe’s to get some hipper ideas????? Wish me luck!

 

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HalloweenThere we’ve said it! Halloween!! The PC folks are

always interfering with my holidays! Even some

religious folks are in the midst of stomping on this

holiday. And why, might I ask? Witches, ghosts,

vampires, and such are only a part of Halloween.

Yes, it has its origins in pagan ceremonies. So what?

So does the Christmas tree. Well, we have to re-

member that some of these same folks are into

eradicating Christmas from our radar as well.

But Halloween is an innocuous and mostly kid holiday in the U.S. I do know of a few amazing

adults who celebrate Halloween and the dark side and that is their prerogative. They enjoy life and

have a wonderful take on this holiday. It is certainly sad that some people wish to enforce their

beliefs upon others. Relax. Take care of yourself and leave Halloween alone. It’s really just a fantasy

trip for all involved – and I don’t care if YOU don’t like fantasy, some of us do!

The art of creating jack o’lanterns is absolutely in-

triguing to me. Little ones up through adults alike can

carve in safety to their heart’s content.

If you don’t like to carve, perhaps you’d like to paint

 

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your pumpkin and decorate for the fall season.

Use various colors to mesh with your home décor and you

will have an exciting visual to display. These can be elegant

fixtures in your harvest

decorated home!

Enjoy the season of pre-

paredness for winter. Roast pumpkin seeds. Watch old movies!

Create new recipes instead of the old and tried pumpkin pie.

Pumpkin is excellent for you. It has no cholesterol, is low in fat

and sodium and rich in vitamins, in particular beta carotene and

vitamin A. On top of being good for your health, it tastes good

too. That’s why it is part of the diet in almost every country in the world.

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Pumpkin Rollout Cookies

Description: Roll out this pumpkin rollout cookie

recipe. Here’s a recipe that beats other holiday

cookies. Why!? Because it is made with pumpkin!

Contributed by: Ann K. in Nashua. New Hamp-

shire.

Makes: 3 cups

Ingredients:

3/4 cups unsalted butter, softened

1/2 cup brown sugar, firmly packed

1 tbsp orange zest

1/2 cup canned or fresh cooked pumpkin

1 egg yolk

1 tsp pure vanilla

2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 tsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground ginger

1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

pinch Salt

 

 

How to Make Pumpkin Rollout Cookies:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

2. In a large mixing bowl, combine with electric

mixer the butter, brown sugar and orange zest.

3. Add the pumpkin, egg yolk, and vanilla.

4. Gradually add the flour and spices.

5. Mix with your hands to create a soft dough.

6. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

7. Divide dough into two pieces.

8. Roll out each piece to 1/8-inch thickness on a

floured surface.

9. Cut into shapes with cookie cutters.

10. Place on ungreased cookie sheet and bake

for 10-15 minutes.

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RIFed (REDUCTION IN FORCE...cut). by Linda Wolf

My principals, Brandon & Pete tentatively came into my

room early Wed morning with sad looks in their eyes. I said,

“Oh no. You guys are coming in here with bad news, aren’t

you?” Then time swirled. When they told me that I had been

RIFed, I went ashen and had to sit down. I put my hands

over my face and ask, “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” I already

had tears in my eyes. I have a good working relationship with

these principals. They told me how much they respected me for coming into a new involuntary

transfer situation and that I took on the challenge of working with Middle School students, which

was a totally new experience for me. They said that I made it work and that I always had a smile on

my face (sometimes it was fake) despite the particular challenging students I had in my classes.

Brandon also acknowledged that I started with a trashed out room, which I cleaned out,

scavenged furniture for, had an abandoned bulletin board installed, covered up the broken blinds

with a wall hanging, and turned the whole area into a beautiful classroom. They appreciated the

relationships I created with the students. Last week a kid from my class who was kicked out of

school for gang related activity came to my class to say good-by. The student had tears in his eyes.

Brandon also acknowledged how hard I worked on creating curriculum where little existed. The

principals told me that they would have me back in a second, if they could. I might add that they

looked very distressed, also.

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This was like hearing my eulogy at my own funeral. Apparently with all of the deep budget

cuts, I was next on the list with lowest seniority in my department, even after 5 years of work. The

district had to make a certain amount of cuts from each category. I was one of two in the ELD

(English Language Development) category. Teachers were also cut from the regular classroom

K-6th grade category. Now get this, IF someone

moves or retires before the beginning of next

year, I will not be “qualified” to be “recalled” to a

regular classroom. Please note what I created this

year for the classroom mentioned above and that

I now teach Tutorial to two classes of 37 students

each in addition to my other ELD classes.

However, according to “policy” I am only eligible for an ELD position. In addition, the other

RIFed ELD person has seniority over me so he would get dibs on any possible opening. I’m also

acutely aware that all districts and other organizations are making even deeper cuts this year and

if any position does open, they must take care of their own first. These are bleak times. In the

meantime, because staff is stretched even thinner almost all ESL department people are newly

scattered all the school district doing bits & pieces in several schools. A totally new person from

another school has been transferred to my previous school to take over the challenging task as

facilitator.

Images from http://www.flickr.com/photos/cybrarian77/6284181297/sizes/l/in/photostream/

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I loved that job and my colleagues there. I know how that school “works”. It’s too bad that despite

my expertise, this very capable new person has to start over with a vertical learning curve, just as I

did this year. Is this really helping the effectiveness of our schools? Anyway, I digress.

Somehow, even though I was in shock, I made it through the day without crying in front of the

kids. I had my pockets stuffed with tissues just in case. Then, I went home and wandered about the

yard and house not believing that just this particular past Wednesday morning during my commute,

I was thinking about the beautiful daily drive I have. I also thought about how even though these

Middle Schoolers sometimes drive me nuts, they are getting under my skin in their own quirky

ways. They make me laugh when I’m not rolling my eyes. The next morning, I called the Assistant

Superintendent of Schools. He was booked into next week but he offered to come over to my

classroom during my 1/2 hour lunch to talk. He was distraught himself about being the bearer

of bad news to so many. He explained the details that I mentioned above, and based on the many

questions that I asked, he decided that he needs to have a meeting for all of the RIFed people. He

is well aware of all that I’ve done for the district, students, teachers, and schools (coaching, writing

documents, being on committees to help high risk students, presentations, etc.)

My accumulated 35 plus years of experience as a master teacher

apparently didn’t make a difference. I’m “gone”. It is truly a numbers’

game that apparently has nothing to do with quality or expertise.

Now that is a merit/pay discussion for you. I’ve been emotional

about this and have been going through a grieving process. I’m still in

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the shock stage and I’m worrying about income and health insurance. I also feel very let down after

all I’ve done in education. It’s not that I expect that “they” owe me anything. It’s just that I’ve given

it my all and then one day I’m snuffed out at age 60. I always thought that I’d leave at the top of my

game and at my choosing.

I’m sure we all want to end our careers this way. If I had officially “retired”, I’d at least get

a recognition party and a pen for my years of service. Instead, I’ll quietly slip out the door after

packing up my whole teaching career to take home and stack in “I wonder if I’ll ever use this

again” piles. Except for the teachers from my previous & beloved school, I haven’t been able to

tell anyone yet. I just didn’t want to go through the story and the hurt. The hardest comments to

hear the first day/s were things like, “When one door closes, another one opens”. Well, easy to say

while you have a job! Today, I totally reframed the next phase of my grieving process. Right now,

I’m aware that thousands of others’ educational and other positions/jobs have been cut due to the

economy and bad planning across the United States.

Although I need the money, health insurance, and professional contact with educators to keep

my juices going, I’m getting exhausted from being stretched thinner and thinner each year. Every

day is a challenge with no let up. Even being able to pee and completely eat lunch during my 1/2

hour allotted time has become daily luxury items. It’s become more difficult to THRIVE instead

of merely SURVIVE. Maybe this really IS the next door opening. Maybe the next door is to simply

rest awhile and get my life back in order after working long intense hours and get back to the things

that I faintly remember loving to do.

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Who knows, maybe I might even LIKE canning jam and selling it at the Farmer’s Market for pin

money. While I’m sitting there hoping that a customer will buy my handpicked boysenberry jam

from my purple stained hands, I can reflect about my past professional life.

I’ll reminisce that I taught in Australia; connected with the farm families of the country school

in Lismore, MN; mentored new teachers in South Dakota; taught in the poorest school in the state

of Oregon; gave workshops on an Indian reservation in Montana; supervised student teachers

for WOSC; presented district staff development while being a case manager for 200+ students in

Hillsboro; took the risk to become a $1.8 Million grant coordinator and ESOL Professor at L&C

College; facilitated ELD instruction and coached teachers on Cooperative Learning at TMUE; and

had a potential gang member come to my door at NAMS to say good-bye with tears in his eyes

when he was kicked out of school. I realize that in order to keep things in perspective someone

could’ve come to my door to say that a loved one died or that my house burned down. However,

this RIF touched the personal part of me who donated so much blood to this difficult profession.

As you can well note, it was devastating to have someone come to my classroom door to say,

“You’ve been RIFed”. As this door closes for me for the last time at the end of this school year,

I’m praying that the next door that opens will be amazing.

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Look into the window of your soul.by Cin Broyles

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Things That Irk MeBy Vye

Well, for one, I am irked today by U Airlines and their website. How is it that I can’t get credit for

purchasing my husband’s airline ticket? As it is, I’m irked that it is going to cost us almost $700 each (more

than Europe) to visit my uncle and tramp around my ole’ homestead in Texas. They want HIS mileage plus

number – but I am paying for it!

Secondly, why is it that S’west boasts these great $69 one way fares to anywhere except where YOU

want to go? And when you look up their rates for the places you

want to go, they have doubled since the past month when you

thought they still might go down? Sheesh!

Talk about frustration surmounting as you try to navigate the

Lin’In website. It’s so randomly set up and, boy, you’d better never

open up two accounts, ‘cause you will never figure out a way to

get rid of one or to combine the two…so when you have all your

various emails coming to one grand central station and reply to

comment to a group’s message, you can’t ‘cause you are not in the

right mode with the right account….it goes on and on and on with this site….

People who will comment that these problems are generated by me. These are the high and mighty who

never experience these problems. Maybe they just don’t experience life, ya think? Maybe they don’t know

ups and downs. They are just robotic in their feelings. Okay, I know I’m getting worked up, but I am irked

today, I am!

While I’m in this state, let me add, why is it that people assume because you are a professional that you

have money? Why is it that people pretend they have money and class when they don’t? Can’t we all just be

nice?

Why is it that people of differing political beliefs slam blast one another and shout each other down?

They get all huffy and angry and don’t even listen to each other. Can’t we just be civil?

 

 

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Why should someone on social security feel ungrateful,

embarrassed, and like they are taking advantage of the system? Didn’t

they put into the program all those 40- 50 years? The other day I was

talking to a homeless guy on the streets nearby where I deliver FREE

(note I am saying FREE) tutoring and art therapy and he commented

about the economy – we were talking about social security (which I

now receive) and some dude walked by and, eavesdropping on our

conversation, made some indelicate comment about social security

recipients. The homeless guy and I just stared at one another – an acronym comes to mind, as I wasn’t in

too a spiritual mood at that point….Can’t he just leave others alone without putting them down?

OMG. I think it’s time for me to take a chill pill and look on the bright side of things. I’m not getting

that airline ticket today and I know it will probably go up a few bucks, but I’m not going to let it get me

down. I will ignore the dude on the street and, instead, think of the homeless guy, to whom I gave a box

of crayons when he told me he loved art! I’ll concentrate on his appreciative smile…I’ll think of the

beautiful kids who loved coming to read with me and then I’ll sigh and think, “This is a nice world….”

Synonyms for IRK:

aggravate, madden, irritate, inflame

….to be continued another day another time by other people….

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H.Kopp-delaney http://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/2969089369/sizes/o/in/photostream/

Spirit

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Black MadonnaBy Susan Scott

Why a Black Madonna? A beautiful, regal, black woman holding the baby Christ

in her arms? We are used to seeing a pale, beautiful, golden haired, sacred Mary with

her baby. Why black? Is the pale Mary the official one, and the Black Madonna the

unofficial one? And, if so, what does this mean.

Could she be calling us to our own darkness

and depth? Could she offer the western world

her wisdom in our maturing? Can darkness

and depth be the deep unsolvable mystery

of all mysteries? Have we been fleeing from

the depths in our desperate desire to reach

the heights? Is she offering gifts in the guise

of challenges? Do we need her today? Is she

cosmic? Do we see her as a black hole which

would mean being swallowed up by her? Why

are we afraid of the dark?

It is no secret that women have been regarded as 2nd class citizens throughout the

ages. They have been seen as subversive in male dominated theology. Patriarchy has

been inclined to see women as submissive, good only for child bearing and in modern

 

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parlance, barefoot and tied to the kitchen sink and even today as man’s ‘property’.

The ego-consciousness of patriarchy devalued the life-death-rebirth, instinctual

values of women. Men took a stand against women for fear of falling prey to their

wiles and seductive powers.

The feminine principle stands for all that is life giving as well as life destroying,

paradoxical though that may seem. It stands for chaos from which order emerges

in a new transformative, transcendent form. It is both joyful and grieving. It is dark

and fecund, like the soil of the earth. It embraces ALL in life, and in death. Pain

and suffering, sorrow, grief, anger, destruction, wildness, non-conformity, death

and darkness are all embraced by the Black Madonna. So, too, does she embrace

compassion, joy, creativity, light, playfulness, mothering, nurturing, birthing,

ugliness and beauty. She devours and she transforms. Nothing is meaningless to her.

She knows that ALL is part of the whole of life and death. Wanting only the light and

the good and the heights is an awful denial of the depths and is overly one-sided and

fixed leaving little or no room for maneuver.

This is not a call for a re-emergence of the matriarchal archetype over the

patriarchal archetype but for an integration of the two. This feminine dark energy

has been neglected and it is necessary to bring this energy out the shadows and for

us to recognize that she speaks to us in a way that appeases our hungering souls. If

these two complementary archetypes could be brought into play with each other,

each recognizing the value of the other, we would be on the way to being more

29About the author:

Vye Carlile is a veteran teacher who secretly loves to read picture books in her spare time! Dr. Carlile has over 38-years of teaching every grade except for 2nd. Her unique style of making reading appealing to even the most uninterested potential reader is reflected in her many awards, including Salem’s Crystal Apple Award. She teaches with enthusiasm and a special nod to all the intelligences - not just the auditory and verbal so often the only way school is experienced. Dr. Carlile is not only a reader, teacher, and counselor, she is also a writer. Past editor of Today’s Spiritual Woman, she also has written five children’s books and one novel. In her spare time she travels, stalks her sons on Facebook, and spreads art therapy throughout her community.

Teaching Literacy in a Global SocietyThe Big Book of ReadingAuthored by Vye Carlile Ph.D.

Teaching Literacy in a Global Society is an informational text that will guide the reader to understand the nuances of teaching reading. It serves as a general guide to the many components involved in teaching and learning to read.

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psychologically whole as we become more aware and awakened on a personal and

collective level.

Both men and women have suffered because of the repression of the feminine

principle. Oddly enough, this served for the arising of ego-consciousness as

masculine values of perception, behavior and feeling came to be of supreme value.

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Our Condolences By Catharine Otto

We, Vested in red and white, Stand dumb as pillars--Episcopal salt and pepper shakers---Lining up neatly on the outer shelf of life.As we surround the sides of the hearse, Attending the departed one’s departure,We bear mute witness to death:Are we sublime, or are we like royal clowns,Rich only in irony?

Does not one of us dare to speak?Do I dare to say…say anything at all?I longed to offer some intangible solace To the sobbing, surviving daughter.As I sang I attempted to mitigate her piercing grief—To let my heart imbue my voiceWith tranquil frequencies of healing and concern. Still, does no one dare speak?

Are we still so weak in the path of death,And the havoc it wreaks?Her father’s body –Once so tall, now so small-- is placed among us. As he wished, his material essence is contained in this box. But his soul cannot be contained, and it rises aloft.

   

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Ashes to ashes, as are all borne of the womb,We weave our dreams on an uncertain loom,In an unrepeatable design that is each life—We hope to touch our destiny, fulfill our sight!

And we stand, like red and white toy soldiers,Playing at guarding the dead.Do we not know that it is the living who need our guarding?As the daughter enters the hearse I glimpse her face once more—

I see a flash of grateful joy, a wistful sense of gladness—It is a reward to feel that I may have penetrated her sadness.Why do we hesitate to share our sorrows?Do we fear that in death there is no solace? Of the future, it is our greatest hope to know,That the sentience and the soul shall continue to flow,And one’s body will one day rejoin one’s soul!

 

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Taken from “Art as

Therapy for Retirees,”

a soon-to-be-published

book on Amazon.com!

Try it for FREE!

Chapter 1

You Knew It Was Coming. What DID You Expect?

I’m not just retiring from the company; I’m also retiring from my stress, my com-

mute, my alarm clock, and my iron. ~Hartman Jule

Year two in retirement. True retirement. When I retired the first time at age fifty-

eight, I went to art therapy school. So I didn’t really retire that time. But when I gradu-

ated from art therapy school, I actually did retire for a year or so. I didn’t have a sched-

ule. There were days I didn’t get out of my nightgown. I didn’t even brush my teeth

and forgot to take my medicine. And I just slept a lot.

Therapists might say that I was lazy or depressed. I think it was a bit of both. I’ve

always been very active, going, running, planning, and doing. All of a sudden no one

cared. I didn’t have to be anywhere. I didn’t have to even wake up if I didn’t want to.

If it weren’t for having to use the restroom, I swear I could have slept all day long

and then into the night, only to wake for a while to roll over and go back to sleep.

Sometimes the dreams were so good I did not want to wake up.

And then something happened. I thought, “Is this all there is? Is this what I am do-

ing? Just vegging out until I die?”

What are you looking forward to in retirement? What have you done that you have

enjoyed? Draw them! Remember, this is an art therapy workbook. You gotta write in

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the pages. C’mon, you can do it….OK, if you are art challenged, draw simple stick fig-

ures OR write if you absolutely have to! Use the whole next page for your doodling!

So, whether you planned well for your retirement or just arrived there with no pre-

meditated thought, this book is for you. Take it and work out the pieces either by your-

self or with a group of friends. You might like the way you feel when you are finished!

Retirement does not have to be slowing down. You may find you are even more ac-

tive and on the go more than you ever expected. It’s just a matter of perspective and

planning.

Draw what you think your life looked like before retirement. Describe it in 5 words!

My life was: (use five words to describe what was):

Draw what your life is like now that you are retired or if you are contemplating life as a

retiree soon….

My life as a retiree now is: (use five words to describe what is):

What is the difference between now and then? Imagine yourself relaxed, happy, and

fulfilled.

What does that place look like? Draw some things that might be in that picture.

Who is there? What things are there? What is the landscape like? Take a deep breath.

Put on some cool music and imagine you are THERE!

If you could think of one thing that might make you happier right now, what would

that one thing be? Draw it!!! Yes, you heard me, draw it! This isn’t an art class. No one

is going to grade you and no one has to even see it. This is just for YOU!

If you enjoyed doing the exercises above or have done them with someone who

did, send in for the FREE PDF of the entire 15 chapters, complete with interactive art

making to help ease you into retirement!

masabitherapist@gmail.com

34

FearsBy Lola

You’ve heard about the movie, “The Birds,” and you can bet your bottom dollar I did not go to see it! Ever since I can remember I’ve had a terrific fear of birds – I don’t mean just birds – I mean their feathers. When I was a teen, I could NOT touch a feather duster. It creeped me out in the worst way. Later on, when visiting wonderful cities throughout the world, I’d freeze and scream if a seagull or other such bird even got within three feet of me. It maddened my husband, who thought I was trying to be cute. Not on your life! Being the inquisitive sort, I attempted to figure out why I had this fear and came up with two incidents in my past that may have begun this fear….

Both occurred when I was five years old – our family lived in a garage apartment and below was a chicken coop the owner of the home had….one day he was showing me the chickens and I was touching them, talking, laughing, etc. Something must have occurred to this man, because he then said not to come in there by myself – that the big rooster had bit him and the animals could be dangerous. Fast forward to me playing with a little boy, exploring ourselves….we were only five. But his mom came around the corner and the next thing

I remember is her twisting the necks off of chickens and witnessing how those poor things jumped about with their heads torn off! It was a miserable experience to say the least. Now that I know what may have caused my fear, how do I get over it?

Psychologists have long worked with extinction methods by which little by little the thing you are most afraid of becomes nonthreatening and nearer and nearer to you physically….Why haven’t I done this? I guess because my fear is not that debilitating. It is not that big a deal and, of course, I have done a bit of the proximity piece. I can even get very close to a parakeet in a cage – as long as he is in the cage, mind you. I might get industrious and do something about my fear, but in the meantime, what are your fears and how do they affect your daily life?

 

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LABOR DAY FALLOUTMost Guys Don’t Retire To Be Hit With Chores!

By BARRY-LEE COYNE

With the holidays beckoning, now is the ideal time to get this mini grievance off my chest

and share it with an empathic world. For the record, I did not retire from being a social worker/

counselor to transfer to being a f/t male housewife! Am I merely a voice in the wilderness in

declaring my determination to savor my new-found leisure time? I prefer to think otherwise.

Counting the years backwards, I first began my two careers in 1963. That job was

as an investigative reporter for a suburban NYC weekly. I covered some exciting

community news, including Dr. King’s “I have a dream” speech at the Lincoln

Memorial and an interview of Marine Cpl. Hubert Clark, the first Black ever to be a

presential pallbearer. That event was President Kennedy’s funeral.

In subsequent years I tackled editorial challenges at The Long Island Post and

The Civil Service Leader newspapers. Then in 1972 I decided to take an MSW

in community organization and test out a second career: counseling. That was a new kind of

interviewing, clients instead of feature subjects. Of course all those writing tricks I had garnered

were now used for documentation of client files.

Between 1975 and 2008 my counseling took me to four different

states and a wide variety of settings. I thoroughly enjoyed the

interaction. It supplied me deeper appreciation of people and their

problems. I saw first-hand how folks cope with setbacks and yet

manage to find unusual resiliency. My mission as I viewed it was

simply being a problem-solving coach on the sidelines.

Looking backward, I invested those years of 1963-2008 working for a living and giving heart-

and-soul to an array of employers--45 year in total. Hence when it came time to retire some two

36

years ago, my dream was to become my own boss and spend my leisure at will.

However, my dear spouse had another game plan for me. She felt my liberation from an outside

worksite opened the way to get me involved in daily domestic chores of her choosing. Her concept

of “partnership” was to assign me a key part in doing chores almost nonstop. Naturally, I cringed

at that thought.

Ultimately we worked out a balance of sorts. I continue to wash the dishes and jointly shop for

groceries with her. She handles the weekly laundry and we now share meal prep. Breakfast is done

DYI usually. For lunch and supper I take care of salad preparation and lining up the needed plates;

she cooks the main course.

The extensive garden is problematic. Wifey does the

watering generally while I attempt to pluck those ever-present

weeds. She picks fruits off the plum tree and we gleefully join

forces to mingle other fruits into a blender concoction.

Still I savor my community volunteer work which I do

almost daily. Simply put, being confined to the house is not

my idea of a fun retirement. Sometimes my mate thinks I “go overboard” and tells me that I need

to spend more time at home to fulfill assorted unfulfilled tasks. Frankly, it’s hard to accept this

domesticity.

Will this rebellious retiree ever be truly “housebroken”? I deem it my spouse’s unrealisic vision

of the hubby’s role, a fantasy unlikely to materialize. I simply will not be shackled to my house like

a canine. Perhaps I would rather go ARF.

Note: The writer disdains dogma but is a lover of cats. He can readily be reached for

your comments at luckycoyne@yahoo.com. Tel: 503-851-7825

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Being sick sucks!By Lola

Especially in the summer or fall time!

I have to admit I kind of deserve this because as my husband was coughing and spewing, I smugly thought that ‘wasn’t it a shame that HE always gets

sick?’ More smugness followed. And then the worst cold or whatever attacked me like a platoon of starved soldiers! Three weeks? Are you kidding me? I missed a baby shower, a bridal shower, and part of my life stood still. I didn’t have the energy to even get up to go purchase gifts for the new mama and the newlywed to be person….and I couldn’t even think of what to write when I sat down to write (my pseudo profession)….

I really didn’t have any fever, so why the hullaballoo about being sick? Well, for one, I ached and was tired. Coughing all night made my teeth hurt and my eyes wouldn’t stay open in the daytime. I finally absconded with some of hubby’s cough medicine and congestion pills. I never have the stuff hanging around ‘cause I don’t get sick!

And it go so bad that my jar of Vicks (probably decades old) ran away. One night it was on the shelf next to my bed. I heard a thump in the night and then in the morning, that damned jar of Vicks was gone. So I wasn’t even well enough to go get the old tried and true . . . .

Three weeks is a long time to have stuff. I say stuff ‘cause it changed from heartburn every night to laryngitis to coughing and spewing mucous at all hours of the day and night. I must be close to the end of this dilemma since my sense of humor is returning, albeit in pieces.

 

38

I am grateful, however, for I am queen of my own world. I cannot go to work. Of course, I don’t get paid then. I can sit around in my jammies all day. I can drink tea when I want and where I want. I can sit out on my deck. And I can even write while I feel like crud. So, it’s almost over and this coming week I got some shopping to do and I do mean serious shopping. Remaining housebound for more than a week is serious business. And its ban is lifting, I hope….

Friends tried to be helpful and I list some ideas below so that you might also get help the next time you are sick . . . .

1. Drink lots of water.2. Take apple cider vinegar for heartburn.3. Sit out in the sun.4. Sleep.5. Read.6. Eat better!7. Visit your doctor.8. Take a decongestant.9. Have a rum and coke.10. Or is that a cup of tea with honey?11. Stop thinking about it.12. Buy soft tissues. Your nose is about to

explode!13. Drink pickle juice.14. Take probiotics.15. Did you see your doctor?16. Hubby says, “Stop being a baby. It’s allergies.”17. By adding Jello gelatin to the water listed on the box, only hot you can

soothe a soar throat and reduce coughing.

39

 

From Tradition to Transition:

Our Own Aging Expedition

By Barry-Lee Coyne, MSW

There is a precarious tightrope in everyone’s life. It runs between two opposite

points: Tradition and Transition. It is never that simple to straddle. Tradition

represents the way things are and have been for a long, long time. These are

essentially habits we’ve used as our personal shields. Sometimes they are distractions

from reality (although we hate like the dickens to admit that’s so).

Transition is the agent of change, usually to get to a better place. This may well

take extra energy and resolve to make that journey. Sometimes we program ourselves

to resist and make assorted excuses. Both T’s--Tradition and Transition--hold the key

to our aging process and just how adeptly we confront the real world.

Let us begin with a look at our friend, philosopher John Locke. He framed life

as a blank tablet (or tabula rasa). Locke argued that we are all born with a blank

slate state-of-mind, and that every event leaves its imprint, never fully erased. In

modern jargon, we can say that what we learn usually sticks with us as adults. That

does influence aging. Taking that a step further, I believe that we are social beings

primarily, and our array of social roles determine our individual self-identity.

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Needs Pyramid

This model actually builds on psychologist

Abraham Maslow’s pyramid of human needs:

food, clothing, shelter, security from outside

dangers, etc. According to Maslow, we as

humans seek out satisfying those needs to

assure our very survival--at any age. Food

is very basic to life, and at times we may

sacrifice getting shelter to obtain a meal. The

countless homeless in America can attest to that.

To this I add that most of us also construct “mental pyramids” to better ensure

keeping our self-esteem as individuals. This is carried out informally. We do this by

gravitating toward those social roles we find most personally satisfying. This can be,

for example, as parent, sibling, child or good friend and confidant. It can be as an

employee or a volunteer.

In our minds, these are social roles we cherish and savor. It connects us with other

folks in a meaningful way and indeed shapes our value system. If each of us were a

computer screen, these would be our icons. Our inner thirst for these social roles and

the prestige they accord to us hardly begins at retirement or even at middle age. Yes,

the launching is even before kindergarten.

Our family initially helps to shape our sense of self. With supportive parents and

siblings we can attain a firm foundation. Lacking these, we face obstacles in our

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questing after affirmation. The odds increase incrementally. Schools add yet another

layer. Are our teachers helping the struggle for self-confidence? Do our peers promote-

-or deter--our search for useful social roles? Do they stand in the way of that search?

Success Quest

Growing up is never an overnight

process, nor is growing old. Each

of life’s experiences can strengthen

our resolve to forge ahead as we add

social roles to our ID Roster. But

conversely, each setback we face is

a test for our coping and continuing

skills.

If we retreat as self-proclaimed “failures”, the effort to try again often seems all the

harder. This becomes the invisible weather vane of aging. As we venture into middle

age, our personalities are largely shaped. Our key social roles govern who we are, or

think we may become. Being objective is ever-elusive.

Significant changes dot the human landscape. Job transitions can impact our

identity. Layoff or demotion has its ripple effects. So too does a change of marital

status, with divorce leaving deep emotional scars for many. Child custody battles

supply yet other barriers to be surmounted.

The loss of one’s parent presents us with another severed umbilical cord. That

sensitive relationship passes into history by degrees. When a sibling passes away, yet

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another key social relationship is shunted into oblivion.

Sudden Morass

Aging intensifies all of these rites of

passage. We have relied on our multiple social

roles, and alas, they are slowly beginning

to slip from our very grasp. We are now

confronting an emerging morass: Multiple

Role Attrition Syndrome (MRAS). This is the

ultimate challenge of age looming in the wings

and testing our wills. MRAS greets each of

us on its own terms. We never dictate the

bargain, only just how resilient we choose to be.

Yes, MRAS can come about in little dribbles, or sometimes in fierce torrents. Our

early lives--how we have transitioned from youth to adulthood--shall be the key players

for our final scenes on this planet. Spirituality and psychology are intertwined. Role

attrition can be met in several ways. Here are the alternatives:

Develop New Roles: Being a meaningful volunteer or opting for part-time on-call

work can suffice here. As can taking a class or being a guest speaker somewhere in your

community. This entails initiative.

Recycle Memories: We can find a way to write up snatches of our past or perhaps

caption our photo albums. Leaving a legacy of experiences can be priceless. For those

weak in writing skills, we can go for an audio cassette. Why not?

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Consider Mentoring: That can lead to doing an enriching 1-to-1 with a young person

who can look to you for cues on the road ahead. Many schools and Y’s encourage

this. Sometimes, a trade association may have a niche to channel our knowledge and

insights to a new generation of trainees. If dynamic, we can try videotaping.

Letters to the Editor: We oldies-but-goodies have that surplus time to scan the daily

newspaper editorials and news stories. If we have passions to express, it’s the perfect

route to pursue. We’ve been eyewitnesses to history, and none others have cultivated

the scope of social change that has come our way.

Physical decline can intrude in our social roles. Take canasta or mah jong. If

we have been playing it for many years and glaucoma pays a visit, our abilities are

curtailed. Yet with a clever, creative group of peers, they can carve out a role to

compensate, be it that of pouring coffee or handing out the tiles or serving the snacks.

That morass can be lessened. God gave us the lips to determine our attitude. It

works like a dashboard signal. When elated, we pointed our lips upward toward

Heaven. But when grumpy, we grimace downward and frown in the direction of Hell.

That’s the magic we exert. So which way is it, friend?

Note: Lee Coyne has been a gerontologist since the 1970’s, having taught for various

colleges in NYC and Washington, DC. He also has given workshops for the National

Council on the Aging and National Assn. of Social Workers. He now lives in Oregon.

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Mabon (aka Fall Solstice)~Anna~

Foods: All harvesting foods including grapes, breads, rolls,

honeys, butter, pumpkins, corn, squash, wheats, etc.

Colors associations: yellow, gold, brown, black, and orange.

Mabon is associated with the Autumn Equinox when the day and night

are equal in the year. This brings to light the importance of balance. It is

the signifier of walking the threshold into the Dark half of the year. we

have celebrated the light and have reaped its rewards: it is now time to

seek the wisdom to let it guide us all through the Dark of the year as we

begin our search within ourselves. As the days now shorten and the sun

begins to lose its strength. We know though that we are given the gifts of

the harvest in strength, courage and abundance to supply our hears with

a seekers desire. All so we may know the mysteries that await us in the

Dark of the year. Celebrate the last of the Sun, but welcome the stillness

that brings change and strength.

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Two Faces of DeathBy Ellyn Edwards

(To protect my husband’s family’s privacy and dignity, I have chosen to change all of our names.)

At the break of dawn one morning, the phone jarred my husband, Tom, and me out of our

wake-up mood. I nearly spilled my coffee all over my paper.

“You answer the phone,” said Tom. “It’s probably Clearbrook calling to say your mother had

another stroke.”

The male voice urgently said, “Ellyn, this is George. Put Tom on please.”

“Tom, the phone is for you. It’s your brother.”

Tom’s slow, deep “Yes?” filled the room. The silence was deafening, as he paced the floor.

“What happened? When? We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Turning, Tom handed me the phone as tears welled in his eyes.

“Mom and dad committed suicide. George went next door to have coffee with them, but they

didn’t answer the door. The door was unlocked, so he went in and found them, fully dressed,

lying peacefully on their bed. George didn’t know what to do, so he asked us to come over.”

“Will you please call my kids and tell them about their grandparents?” Tom said, “I can’t

handle talking to anyone right now.”

http://www.free-hdwallpapers.com/wallpapers/abstract/141422.jpg

46

As I called my husband’s children, I could barely speak through my tears. I hurt so much I

couldn’t remain calm. I wanted to let out all my anguish and sob. My in-laws were incredibly

dear to me. After making the phone calls, we dashed to Tom’s brother’s apartment, a half hour’s

drive away.

Tom’s parents, Charles and Ida, were in their mid-90s. They lived in a two-bedroom

apartment alone. They cooked, entertained, volunteered, and even drove. They were incredibly

intelligent and seemingly healthy for their age. Plus Charles and Ida had just celebrated their

70th wedding anniversary with a huge party.

When we arrived at George’s apartment, we found it packed with police, the police

psychologist, the coroner, George, his son, and his son-in-law. Emotions were so tightly strung

that when we burst into the crowded room unannounced, I noticed the police jump and move

their hands toward their guns. Tensions relaxed as our nephew announced, “This is my uncle

and his wife.”

After receiving comforting hugs and making attempts to stay calm, we collapsed on the sofa

with George in his chair, while we were interviewed by the police. George and Tom explained

that Charles and Ida had belonged to the Hemlock Society for years. Charles and Ida had

repeatedly mentioned to their sons, how important their independence and health was to

them. They wanted to die with dignity. Then George threw light on the situation, “Dad went to

the doctor on Monday, only to learn that his cancer had viciously returned.” We knew Ida had

a pacemaker and her health was going downhill. She wouldn’t want to live without Charles.

According to the evidence and the notes, Charles and Ida sat down, drank Irish whiskey through

the night, hand wrote individual letters to their two sons, four grandchildren, and their relatives

47

in Australia and in Ireland, explaining their intent to leave “planet earth.”

While the police talked to Tom and George, I remembered Ida’s frequent calls questioning

me about my mom’s status with her latest stroke. Each of our conversations seemed to provide

the explanation for their ultimate decision. Charles and Ida’s biggest fear had been to end up like

my mother. They saw how mom’s eroding health dragged me down. Watching a parent slowly

decline is horrific. They didn’t want to do that to their children.

I thought back five years to a different early morning call --- my uncle’s voice saying, “Ellyn,

your mother had a major stroke. She’s down here in the Grays Harbor Emergency Hospital.”

“I’m on my way!”

Later after a two hour drive and conversing with mom’s doctor, he indicated that he didn’t

know whether mom could be rehabilitated from her stroke. The doctor also informed me that

mom had asked him to euthanize her. Mom had a Living Will and did not want emergency

precautions used to save her life. However, at that time, Washington State had not yet passed a

law allowing doctors to help terminally ill patients, with six months or less left to live, end their

lives with dignity rather than endure agony. If the law had been in place, the doctors still could

not have helped mom, since with stroke victims there is no clear time line.

Eventually, after several weeks of physical therapy, the doctors determined that mom could

neither go home nor drive. Dad had passed away the year before. I was going to have to sell their

beloved home and take away her independence – her car. I had to find assisted living, where she

could receive physical therapy to help her walk, talk, swallow, feed herself, and do all the normal

functions we take for granted. I lucked out and found Clearbrook, four miles from my house.

At first, mom dangerously lost weight. So Clearbrook suggested I call in Hospice. I was

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horrified. Doesn’t this mean mom has six months or less left to live? So mom and I met with

Hospice, but that day, mom’s health miraculously turned. Hospice did not accept her. I think the

ordeal scared mom into making an attempt to live.

Mom’s determination was admirable. She always was tough and independent. However,

over five years, mom would suffer stroke after periodic stroke. Plus, she would have nearly daily

Transient Ischemic Attacks (TIAs). It was like watching the world’s craziest roller coaster. Mom

would get well, have another stroke, fall, break limbs, rehabilitate, inch by inch losing more of

her capabilities. Mom went from walking with the help of a walker, to using a wheelchair, to

ultimately being bed-ridden. She could no longer run errands with me or stop for her favorite

lunch, a Polish hotdog. Observing mom was like being wary of ground water dripping down a

cliff, slowly eroding it, until you knew eventually, the cliff would crumble.

I received calls any hour of the night or day that mom had been rushed to the Emergency

Hospital. Would I please go attend her? Eventually Hospice was brought in --- twice. Hospice

discharged mom the first time after six months. A year later, Hospice was called in the final

time. All the while, Charles and Ida had listened to my sad stories of mom’s traumas that were

slowly driving me crazy. I would prepare myself for mom’s death and then she would recover.

Repeatedly.

One weekend after another of mom’s strokes, the Hospice nurse called to prepare me for

mom’s death. I was to call the undertaker and start making arrangements. The weekend came

and went. Inexplicably, mom lived. However, by now, she could no longer walk or stand. Mom

would attempt to talk to me and not be able to complete her sentence, even though she knew

what she wanted to say. I could see mom’s frustration in her eyes and then she would burst into

Colleen McMahon http://www.flickr.com/photos/gatz125/6218080107/sizes/o/in/photostream/

49

tears. She couldn’t feed herself or even operate the remote for her TV. Mom was an intelligent

adult trapped inside the body equivalent of a newborn baby.

So here I’m listening to my husband, his brother, and the police state that Charles’ and Ida’s

letters indicated they did not want to peter out like my mother. They chose dignity and quality of

life rather than suffering and quantity of life. They hated the idea of their family being miserable.

They took control of the situation by tying plastic cooking bags over their heads and quietly

drifting off to sleep --- together.

Over time, the shock of their parents’ death diminished. Even though Charles and Ida would

be missed enormously, we all respected their gut-grinding decision. We appreciated the strength

of character it took to carry out their choice.

My mother had suffered pain, embarrassment, the loss of her independence, and the loss of

dignity with her strokes. I repeatedly told my friends that my husband and I did not want to die in

the same manner as my mother. We too would prefer to control our own destiny.

Three months nearly to the day after we received the phone call about Charles’ and Ida’s deaths,

I reacted to a different phone call. “Ellyn, your mom has passed away.” I couldn’t believe that the

cliff had finally collapsed.

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Ivan Walsh http://www.flickr.com/photos/ivanwalsh/4378471517/sizes/sq/in/photostream/

Body

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A Canadian’s View of the US - Food for Thought

by L. S. There is a need for a soul searching activity within the United States on what it means to be inclusive in today’s society and how does one teach everyone to become inclusive and walk the talk. I moved to the United States from Canada thinking I was stepping up in the world and joining a large group of people who had their act together and who were leaders for the world to follow. What I have found over the past 24 years is a spoiled group of people who have “too much” for which very few are grateful and are too blind to share with each other inside their own country the fruits of their “wealth” because that would be “socialist”. They teach their children at a very young age (Tiara beauty queens) to compete at the expense of everything worthwhile in life in order to “win”. They accept poor behavior as “freedom of speech” and fight each other over racial lines because it isn’t cool to become colorblind. Life is an education. If children today are being educated by watching others around them, including TV, games & Internet, never mind what is happening in their schools, I don’t believe Americans can be inclusive and follow a “Freedom for all” mentality without cleaning up America first.

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The Healing Art of Reiki: Giving and Receiving

Maybe you’ve heard of a “new age” practice called Reiki, and wondered what it is? Or

perhaps you’ve never heard of it all. As a Reiki Master teacher, I find most people I talk to know

that Reiki is a holistic healing method, but so many see it as a form of massage- which it’s not

at all-while still others scoff at it, or even worse, see it as a vaguely demonic form of controlling

people like voodoo or witchcraft. But nothing could be further from the truth: Reiki is about

giving and receiving, about healing and being healed. Many people have experienced the

energetic healing of Reiki, and felt the unaccountable, tingling, sometimes even intense warmth

from the practitioner’s hands, even though those hands are often not even touching one’s skin,

but hovering over one’s body.

If Reiki energy were not real, how would this be felt? In order to have one’s hands heat up this

much without real Reiki energy, the Reiki practitioner would have to have an instantaneous fever

of over 104, one that starts only when treating a client, and immediately subsides as soon as they

finish treating the client. Which is, of course, impossible! More importantly, the vast majority

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of patients have felt an inexplicable sense of peace, and a relief from symptoms both during and

after treatment-- relief from ailments that can last days, weeks, or even months after a treatment.

For best effect, however, it’s usually recommended that a person receive several treatments for

any significant problem.

Reiki is not a religion and is compatible with many spiritual beliefs; one doesn’t have to

abandon one’s current religion or spirituality to accept or practice Reiki, and performing Reiki is

not at all declaring oneself God. To be involved

with Reiki is merely to access divine energy

made available to us, and to assist oneself and

others in healing. Yet Reiki is sort of a white

elephant or an amalgamation of many cultural

influences. Mikao Usui, the founder of the

oldest and first form of Reiki, was born in Japan

in 1865 to a wealthy, educated family, and was

sent to a Tendai Buddhist monastery in Tibet as

a child. These ideas influenced him profoundly

while growing up, and he became a Tendai “lay

priest” himself, though married with children.

Later, in approximately 1920, Usui had an

epiphany or mystic revelation from the divine while meditating on Mount Kurama, which gifted

him with the source of divine energy used in “attunements,” or transferal of access to the healing

energy. Practitioners receive attunements from Reiki masters; thus the ability to channel the

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energy to others is passed on. In addition, there are symbols both drawn and spoken which

assist in activating the Reiki energy, called Kanji, which are actually Chinese characters adopted

by the Japanese for their writing.

It is believed in Reiki that there are seven centers of energy located in specific areas of the

human body, which are called chakras, (an ancient Sanskrit

word), and when practitioners are offering Reiki, they often

direct the divinely inspired energy to these centers through

certain hand positions over the client’s body. Thus, we really

help people to help themselves by renewing their chakras.

However, Reiki can be offered to any part of the body, as when

there is a direct injury, such as a broken nose or heel, even

though no chakras exist there. There are also so called “minor”

chakras in the hands and knees, etc.

While Reiki is not a cure- all, panacea, or substitute for

“allopathic” or conventional medicine, it is a very important

adjunct that can at times accomplish what conventional medicine cannot, especially in terms

of personal tranquility. When I give Reiki, it brings me to a quiet place within myself, and

clients always tell me they experience this “floating, peaceful feeling.” Both giver and receiver

experience a very deep, soul satisfying tranquility, a calm feeling of feeling centered and

cleansed. As we say, “there is no healing without being healed.” As a Reiki Master Teacher, I

would say that what is even better than receiving a Reiki treatment is, ultimately, learning Reiki

yourself. You don’t have to become a Master Teacher, as this seems daunting to many people.

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Just learning the first and second levels of Reiki can give you the ability to significantly help and

heal yourself, as well as your friends and loved ones.

One of the great benefits of learning the second level of Reiki is that practitioners can send

healing over a distance, or distance Reiki treatments. As farfetched as that sounds, it is real! I

totally understand anyone’s skepticism over this, as I am a pretty intellectual person with a

college degree in English Literature and a membership in American Mensa, to boot. As a matter

of fact, most of my Mensa friends would laugh at me, but that’s OK with me, because I feel

confident in my own knowledge, and if they were just brave enough to experience one Reiki

treatment, they’d know it was real too.

Being able to help your friends and loved ones from a distance is of even more importance

now than ever with our hectic, busy lives and friends scattered all over the globe. Many of us

have friends we’ve never met on Twitter and other Internet groups, and sending distance Reiki

to a long distance friend in time of crisis—whether it’s a break-up or an operation—is a great

way to help when you can’t be there! Do not worry about hurting someone with Reiki: as Reiki

is an expression of divine love, it can never hurt. It may not necessarily save every life, but Reiki

energy itself always, always helps, and Reiki energy itself is never destructive.

Yet, Reiki practitioners are mere humans, as I’ve stated before; we’re channels for something

divine but not divine ourselves, except in the sense that the divine is partly manifested in

every human being. Thus it’s important to be aware that practitioners are fallible and that

there is a code of ethics must follow, which include absolute confidentiality about the sensitive

information which we clients tell us or which we intuit, refraining from diagnosing medical

conditions, and of course refraining from inappropriate touching.

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Inappropriate touching in Reiki would be any direct touching of the genital areas, female

breasts, or the buttocks of either gender. By contrast, it is considered acceptable—almost

unavoidable-- for a practitioner to lightly touch a client’s head or face when giving Reiki. Yet

sometimes clients may ask for Reiki energy for private, i.e., erogenous, zones of the body, as for

example if someone has a reproductive health concern, or an arthritic hip joint, but that is why

we hover our hands over these areas, never making tangible contact there. The resulting physical

sensation received is not invasive or violating, and feels like a warm band of air over the area.

Never, never let a practitioner convince you that you have to remove clothing (with the exception

of bulky outerwear like a coat, jacket, or hat) or allow hands to pass beneath your clothing.

Although such sexual misconduct is almost unheard of in Reiki, it is wise that a prospective

client knows what should be expected in a professional setting, and to remember that he/she is

in control and free to object and leave if necessary.

Like any divinely inspired practice, Reiki was originally hindered by human constraints

and cultural mores, such as the original prohibition of attuning or teaching any woman this

healing method. This gender exclusion changed with the first attunement given to a woman,

Hawayo Takata, who was a Hawaiian woman of Japanese descent. Attuned by Chujiro

Hayashi, she was only second in lineage from the original source, Mikao Usui. Unfortunately

until that point, Reiki Masters, who were of strictly Japanese ancestry, did not feel that women

were “worthy vessels” for Reiki energy, which was an unfortunate byproduct of traditionally

patriarchal Japanese culture. Even for a time following Mrs. Takata’s attunement, there was

also an unfortunate aversion among Reiki Masters to attuning anyone who was not Japanese.

Fortunately for most of us, during at least the past 60 years, Reiki has become a global healing

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energy taught to anyone, with vast benefits worldwide!

The form of Reiki that I am attuned in, Usui Reiki, is the original and first form of Reiki healing

revealed to Makao Usui, but there are newer additional forms of Reiki that are also valid, though

not necessarily better, such as Karuna Reiki,

Gendai Reiki, etc. These newer forms build

on what was taught by Mikao Usui, and some

add newer Kanji symbols to activate additional

energies. Some practitioners like to learn as

many forms as possible, while others feel most

comfortable with one, particularly the original

Usui Reiki. All forms of Reiki emphasize

being a peace with oneself and others, and

properly processing anger and pain, so they do

not impair our chakras. Whichever form of

Reiki you experience first, it is bound to be a

rewarding and fruitful experience—physically, emotionally, and spiritually--that will enrich your

life for years to come! Namaste, Catharine Otto

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Diabetes and the HolidaysKeeping Your Blood Sugars Under Control During the Holidays May Mean More Than Just Limiting Sweets Marcia Pope, RN,

If you are a diabetic, the holiday season might make it challenging for you to keep your blood sugars under control. This is a time for many festive occasions and opportunities to partake of those big fancy meals with family and friends. This is also a time when holiday shopping and other holiday-related activities can cause you to be off your entire routine, including your eating schedule. The following tips are things you can do to help get you through the holidays.

Carefully monitor what you eatFirst of all, watch what you eat. As a diabetic your body has trouble processing the level of glucose in

your bloodstream. This is because your body is not making insulin or is not utilizing insulin as it should. You will become ill if your blood glucose is either too high or too low and either extreme can be detrimental. Diabetics should be determined to eat healthy balanced meals and if this is done sensibly you won’t run into problems over the holidays.

Be sure to watch your intake of sweetsHoliday time is certainly a time when an abundance of desserts are tempting you wherever you go.

According to Mayo Clinic, a diabetic can, however, eat sweets without it pushing your blood sugar out of control as long as sweets are taken in moderation. Sweets should be eaten with the meal and you always avoid the between meal snacking on foods loaded with sugar.

Watch your total carbohydratesYour overall total carbohydrates have to be considered. Remember, you can get carbohydrates from

foods such as starchy foods, fruits and vegetables. Mayo Clinic also recommends you do try to avoid what are known as empty calories, that is, foods that really don’t have much in the way of nutritional value. Eat foods that contain vitamins and minerals, not just fats and calories.

Eat regularly during the dayTry as much as possible during the holidays to stay on track with your diet regime. You need to eat

several meals during the day, as you would do if it were not the holiday season. Diabetics always have to guard against episodes of low blood sugar. It’s a good idea to keep snacks with you just in case holiday shopping and other activities throws you off your normal eating schedule and you start to feel dizzy or lightheaded.

Take you medication as prescribedWhether you are a Type I diabetic or Type II diabetic, there is still a delicate balance between what

you eat and how you feel. Work with your doctor during this time of the year if you feel you need to make adjustments in the medications. Avoid the tendency to think you can regulate your own medications without

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his knowledge, especially if you take insulin.

Exercise willpowerIf you have been a diabetic for any length of time you can pretty well know when you have strayed from

your diet. Be selective in what you eat and avoid overindulging on any food item. Sometimes a diabetic just has to say no when it comes to eating certain foods that they know will be harmful to them. The Diabetes Mellitus Information website suggests you not only avoid being hungry and also avoid overfilling your stomach. Either extreme can run you into health problems.

Exercise regularlyAlong with exercising your willpower, you need to do some physical exercises as well. Walking is

always recommended and about 30 minutes a day out in the fresh air is the best exercise you can do.

Limit or omit your use of alcoholMany people are social drinkers and this time of year with office parties and other festive occasions

going on, alcoholic beverages are being served. According to Web MD, drinking alcohol moderately causes your blood sugar to rise, and heavy alcohol consumption can actually lower your blood sugar. It you do decide to drink alcohol, drink it at the time you have your meal and don’t over-do it. The American Diabetes Association adds that the symptoms of low blood sugar or hypoglycemia, can be quite similar to those of being drunk, so always wear some identification that lets people know you are a diabetic.

Monitor your blood sugar readingsEven during holiday time, you should still monitor your blood sugar levels as you normally do. As you

can see, there are many factors during the holiday season that can cause your glucose readings to be uncontrolled. Always report any unusual symptoms to your doctor and be honest with your doctor and let him know if you have really not adhered to your diet.

Avoid stressAnother common problem that occurs during the holiday season is stress. Although stress can occur at

any time during your life, it seems the holiday time is perhaps the most stressful of the year. Up to a point, you don’t have much control over the holiday stress around you but certainly you can control the amount of stress you allow others to put on you. According to the American Diabetes Association, some people with diabetes tend to allow stress to cause them to become careless in caring for themselves, that is, they are so absorbed in the stress that they stop eating properly, stop exercising as they should and fail to check their blood sugars as they should. They go on to say that mental stress can certainly raise your blood sugar, so try as much as possible to stay calm and keep focused on your health.

Sources:Mayo clinic: “Diabetes nutrition: Including sweets in your meal plan”. Diabetes Wed MD: “Diabetes and alcohol” American Diabetes Association: “Alcohol” Diabetes Mellitus Information: “Can diabetes have sweets and desserts?”

http://voices.yahoo.com/diabetes-holidays-7439100.html

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Virtues of the Warrior Woman Workout By Denise Palermo , Lisa Spencer, and Vye Carlile

The newest craze around town is warrior women workouts. My friend’s daughter

and her thirty something friends are doing it and boasting about how great it makes

them feel. All I know as an outsider is that they train together and workout together

and it is not easy stuff they are doing! Below is an article from a workout guru who

shares her philosophy of warrior workouts.

http://sanmateokettlebells.com/1/post/2010/02/virtues-of-the-warrior-woman-workout.html

Dear Sisters,

I’ve spent many hours pondering how to best espouse the benefits to your body with

the Warrior Woman Workout. This workout is all about strength, flexibility and the

breath. Strength without proper range of motion makes us brittle and vulnerable to

injury. Flexibility with no control and we are weak. In learning to breathe properly we

can ignite super-strength and aid our body in generating power. The breath can also

help our body let go of limited range of motion and realign our posture.

Strength in my book is not in building bulk, not in big weights and heavy lifting, but

accessing true strength from deep within, from

our true center, our core. Absolutely everything

builds upon this foundation. With the kettlebell

as our weapon of choice, I offer you the most

impactful core strengthening tool available.

Imagine doing sit-ups, lunges, box jumps and the

 

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plank all at once. That is

the basic kettlebell swing, a

cornerstone of the Warrior

Woman Workout. Side effects

include burning almost

300 calories in 20 minutes.

The equal to strength is

flexibility. That pliability

in which we properly align our bodies is vital to building strength. I focus on hips,

shoulders and chest. I have the tools to help you reach a greater range of motion in

a matter of minutes! Through the methods I offer you, I have personally decimated

decades of lower back pain and weakness with concentrated devotion to hip flexibility.

We work to adopt new ways to breathe, deep belly breathing, breath for power,

breathing for flexibility, and recovery breath work. These techniques are tools you can

use outside the workout in daily life. The Warrior Woman workout is for any woman

of any physical condition. Work progressively and without injury. You will sweat, burn

away excess, reveal firmness and from day one discover the true potential of your core

strength.

 

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Locally, the mid Willamette Valley has a team called “Mud is the New Pink” made

up of friends from my Zumba and Kettlebell classes. The Warrior Dash 2012 in Oregon

is a 5k run with (I think 6) obstacles, including elements of water, barb wire, ropes,

mud, and fire. The race has spread throughout the nation, and now includes a couple of

events in Australia.

Some of the obstacles, such as the floating hurdles in the lake, require team work;

others are more individually-oriented. All require a mental toughness, which is

something that the promoters of the Warrior

Dash boast about. I was most worried about the

second obstacles where you have to scale a wall

holding onto a rope. I was pleasantly surprised

at how capable I felt doing it.

Most of us have been doing Kettlebell

workouts together for the past year under Jackie Welter / Willamette Valley Kettlebell.

This was a true test as to how far we’ve come in that

year. Many of us would not have been able to scale

these obstacles at this time last year. This race, for

me, was a culmination of a year’s worth of sweat and

hard work. I loved every minute of it. Oh, and, yes,

I’m already signed up for next year.  

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Nikki Patin www.thevitruvianwoman.com part of the video gallery of Patrick Sanchez

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Improvement

http://browse.deviantart.com/?order=9&q=christmas&offset=216#/d35ajc3

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Do We Care Enough?

By Sam, Meredith, Luis, Aldine, Diego, Ricken and the rest of the Avaaz team

August 9, 2012Photo by Caroline Irby

At any moment, a big-game hunting corporation could sign a deal which would force up to 48,000 members of Africa’s famous Maasai tribe from their land to make way for wealthy Middle Eastern kings and princes to hunt lions and leopards. Experts say the Tanzanian President’s approval of the deal may be imminent, but if we act now, we can stop this sell-off of the Serengeti.

The last time this same corporation pushed the Maasai off their land to make way for rich hunters, people were beaten by the police, their homes were burnt to a cinder and their livestock died of starvation. But when a press controversy followed, Tanzanian President Kikwete reversed course and returned the Maasai to their land. This time, there hasn’t been a big press controversy yet, but we can change that and force Kikwete to stop the deal if we join our voices now.

http://www.avaaz.org/en/save_the_maasai/?tta

The Maasai are semi-nomadic herders who have lived in Tanzania and Kenya for centuries, playing a critical role in preserving the delicate ecosystem. But to royal families from the United Arab Emirates, they’re an obstacle to luxurious animal shooting sprees. A deal to evict the Maasai to make way for rich foreign hunters is as bad for wildlife as it is for the communities it would destroy. While President Kikwete is talking to favoured local elites to sell them on the deal as good for development, the vast majority of people just want to keep the land that they know the President can take by decree.

President Kikwete knows that this deal would be controversial with Tanzania’s tourists -- a critical source of national income -- and is therefore trying to keep it from the public eye. In 2009, a similar royal land grab in the area executed by the same corporation that is swooping in this time generated global media coverage that helped to roll it back.

 

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An appeal for understanding.....

support, and maybe some help?By Céline Clemence SIKA , Cameroon

My father died last year, on December the 24th. He had a stroke and was sick for seven years. An intelligent mind survived in the body of a new born. This stroke robbed him of his independence, mobil-ity, and he could not talk from the first day he got that stroke. First of all, my mothers and the people who lived with him, did not know what was happening to my father so they took him to hospital two days after he fell sick. But this could not help him because the hospi-tals we took him to could give him the therapy to help him walk, talk, swallow, use his hands, and do the simple things in life we take for granted.

He went from walking to staying at home, and then being bed-bound completely unable to function on his own, even to eat. We watched him deteriorate without being able to help him, and this really impacted not only my mum who was with him 7 days of the week, the 24 hours of the day, but the whole family.

I am crying while I am writing these words because I am frustrated that in Africa physicians are still not able, today, to tell you what is going wrong with you. If they cannot help you, who will help you? There is also nothing to help the caregivers , yet the later are suffering a lot and need help. My mom is sick because of all what she went through with my father, but she cannot expect any sup-port from the government. After my father died, we started a procedure for her to benefit from the pension of my father (he was a civil servant) but we had to abandon everything because of too many complications and obstacles. People who are supposed to help us through this process were all crooks and tried to swindle us.

Today we have to support our mother so that she can live yet she deserves a pension as a widow. Life can be better but someone has to make this to be pos-sible. There are many women like my mother in my country, Cameroon, many orphans who cannot enjoy their rights because of an environment which are not conducive. I do not know what happen in your countries in such cases. I even thought of writing a book to help widows and orphans know what to do when their husbands and fathers died. I really want to implement this project. Your advice and support will make a great difference.

 

 

What do you propose for me to do?

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Project ideas for the Kids, This time of year having crafty ideas for the kids is great since the

weather can be a bit sketchy at times. We have included 4 precious moments images from the website

http://www.my-coloring.com/coloring_pages_precious_moments/images/86.html

Paste on the fridge for family.

Print them out. Give the kiddos the crayons and let them go to town. They will enjoy making them and you will enjoy knowing that they are happy and busy.

Turn them into ornaments for the windows or the house.

After coloring these images, turn them into mock stained glass. Take a small amount of veggie oil and a paper towel, dip the paper towel into the oil and smear it on both sides. The paper becomes translucent and the crayon shines like glass.

Create transfer images to put on material to make a quilt.

Once printed, take a black or blue ink pen (ballpoint) and wax paper. Trace the images, then reverse this onto a plain material block big enough for the image and your seam allowance. Low heat iron the image onto the fabric. The ink will transfer and you will have images that can be colored. Make sure you go and find more blocks from the website mentioned and your holiday gift blankets for the kids will be something they will cherish their entire childhood.

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THE POSIT IVE SIDE OF LIFEInternet vignettes from Mike N.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include

a free trip around the sun every year.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you didn’t even know you left open.

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to

wait for them?

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but

they all exist very nicely in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day!

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/10/fall-is-in-the-air/100167/

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Me and the Algaeus - the worlds first algae gasoline powered car - itgets 150 mpg. I'm standing on the 1000 acres of land in New Mexico that will generate 1 million barrels of oil a year from algae starting in 2012 from brackish water,CO2 and sunlight.

To find out more about Algeaus, see the online article “First Algae-Powered Car Attempts to Cross US on 25 Gallons” by Ariel Schwartz,

http://inhabitat.com/first-algae-powered-car-attempts-to-cross-us-on-25-gallons/

Lola Carlile is a writer, muse, traveler, and, most of all, an educator interested in the psyche of people. She lives on the West Coast with her husband and enjoys writing as a form of meditation.

Stephanie Anne Stockton is a gardener, seeker of truth, and a woman in search of happiness from within. She also lives on the West Coast.

What would you do if your twelve–year old son began his period? That is the question one California family had to ponder in 1960, an era when rock and roll shattered the innocence of the 50’s. With impending doom from nations near out shores, the world was not ready to accept, discuss, nor tolerate a boy having a girl’s period. This American family was soon to be drawn into a world they never dreamed of, much less were prepared to cope with.

On Sale now through Author House Publishing online

http://www.amazon.com/The-Twin-Within-painful-struggling/dp/1438958846/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340671814&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Twin+Within

Hardcover $28.20

E-book $ 3.99

Softcover $18.70

MASABI

Fall 2012 Issue of Today’s Spiritual Woman is a product of M.A.S.A.B.I.

PO Box 2663; Salem, OR 97308