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The Healing Codes 11.13.2008 1Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello

Tom Costello: This is The Healing Codes question and answer teleconference. My name is Tom Costello and on behalf of The Healing Codes family I welcome you to this call. Tonight in this hemisphere it is November 13, 2008. Everything on this call is being recorded. This recording is available from our website: thehealingcodes.com

We support The Healing Codes clients in several different ways. This call is one of them. The recording is another. The personal coaching that is included with The Healing Codes package, in my opinion, is the most valuable support that we provide. We have [email protected] will get you some sort of e-mail response or it will be delivered to someone who can specifically respond to you.

Tonight we ask anybody who is uncertain about any part of The Healing Codes process to ask questions. Those questions serve not only you but perhaps other people on this call or people listening to the recording. We like to hear success stories. That’s encouraging all the way around. Those are nice. We like to validate those people.

Our disclaimer is that The Healing Codes are not intended to diagnose or treat any physical or mental conditions or their symptoms. The Healing Codes deals with issues of the heart and it is on those spiritual issues that we focus our attention. Further, the opinions I express are my opinions. If they serve you I’m pleased. If not, just let them go flying by.

I’m going to open the floor for any questions. Let me point out that I would gladly create a Custom Code for you. This is for The Healing Codes clients, so if you’d like a Custom Code for something you are dealing with I would be glad to do that. When you indicate that you want to talk about an issue or you want a Custom Code, I seek to expand that so it applies to more people. I try to go the very specific to more general or more global. If you would prefer not to have that done, feel free to speak up and say “Nothing, but a Code, please, nothing but a Code.” I’ll recognize the Joe Friday implications to that and give you nothing but a Code.

With that thought in mind, you come in muted, so hit *6. That will un-mute you. If you’d like to make a point, make a comment, ask a question or deal with a given situation that would be great. Then *6 will put you back on mute.

I’m ready if you are.

Participant: (Pat, IN) I’ve been doing Codes and have been getting really good results in terms of just overall wonderful things happening. I was wondering, how would I do a Code or which Code would I do for getting a lawsuit settled. From my end, my attorney wants to settle it, but the other side has been reluctant.

Tom Costello: That’s a great topic actually. I think what you would want to do is go into the Peace code, or depending on the circumstances related to it, go into Unforgiveness.

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Participant: Yeah, I started doing Unforgiveness today just out of intuition.

Tom Costello: And some people think that money comes from credit cards. Some people money comes from lawsuits. But in fact I happen to be a fan of the Abraham-Hicks material. In the last couple of days they had e-mails about lawsuits and how that can be real disruptive to somebody’s energy. From a global standpoint this is an interesting thing based on some other stuff I’m studying – the life and teachings of the Masters of the Far East – talking about the idea that people who focus on money coming from another person or from a lawsuit. It doesn’t really come from that direction. It comes from our consciousness, this place within us; this place of peace, this place of love, this place of forgiveness, this place of trust, joy, on and on, is the doorway to the Source of Everything.

The Source of Everything is like the Ft. Knox of everything. I’d say I’d go for Unforgiveness. I’d go for Peace about that. I happen to subscribe to this idea. “It is all good.” Now it’s just a question of time before I personally recognize that it is all good. You bump into a wall, you bump into a wall. You discover a lot of things by bumping into walls actually. Instead of taking a hammer and hitting the wall, “you know what, there is good in this. I’m going to seek to discover it. It may require me to change my point of view.” You can get into that case. Depending on the specifics of your situation…

This thought occurred to me. I was driving my wife to Miami International Airport. I had money in my pocket. Then when I was approaching the tolls on the way back I realized the money had fallen out of my shallow pocket. It would have been by the outside baggage checking area. No chance for it to be there if I turned around and went back. I thought, “I contributed that money to somebody who was attracting it. Somebody is going to benefit from that. I’ll consider the fact that I gave a gift, unknowingly. I’m going to accept it that I gave them a gift as compared to I lost something.” I didn’t lose anything. Then I was at peace with it.

Maybe something like that can work with this. If you can work with the other people and see – we look at other people and go, “I know what they look like, or I don’t know what they look like, but I know what their attitude is like.” If you could visualize them in one way or another and recognize that just like you and me, in their heart is a spark of love, generosity, fairness, kindness and every other virtue that you can think of. That’s in there. In fear, though, when somebody is in fear, they can’t access that as well. As you think of them in this, all good can come to them as well. That doesn’t deplete your good. Then maybe they’ll awaken to that light within and go, “You know what, we need to be fair about this. Let’s just settle.” Those are the possibilities there.

Participant: Okay. Thank you.

Tom Costello: Somebody else have something, anything?


Participant: (Monica) Something just dawned on me. For four to six months I’ve had extremely tight muscles in the shoulders. It’s just tremendously tight. I’ve gone to massage in August and they couldn’t even massage it out. It was like it’s inflamed. I began going to cranial sacral therapy about 8 weeks ago, once a week. It loosened it up a little bit, but they are still getting inflamed if I sit up for half an hour or so. Then I went for acupuncture. They are still working on it.

Today it dawned on me, I feel I have issues about supporting myself financially. I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world. I just feel what is going on all over the world on my shoulders. Then there’s this issue of “spineless”. In my life I’ve had times when I didn’t speak up for myself or I was shy. I think all three do apply to me. It just dawned on me now. I’m glad it popped into my head. How can I approach the Codes, or you can do me a Custom Code perhaps. How can I approach the issues to help my weak spine and muscles?

Tom Costello: Those are three different things. I’ll be glad to give you a Custom Code, but let’s just talk about it. I can recall years ago having seen a picture of starvation in Africa. My then wife looked it and gasped. Somebody said to us, “Don’t go into sympathy.” You can be constructive, but don’t go into sympathy. Everybody is choosing to participate. Be constructive. If you want to do something about it or any other situation you see, that’s great, but don’t take in the energy thinking it’s going to lessen their difficulty. It actually just multiplies it. Don’t go into sympathy, that’s a low vibration of pity. Empathy, compassion, those are two very high vibrations. Recognize that everybody is creating their own experience based upon their level of awareness and you can be constructive. I recommend that. Don’t go, “I’m going to go watch TV. They’re doing their own thing dying and starving.” That’s not the point. The point is don’t take in that energy that you can’t process and weigh yourself down.

The second thing is this idea of support, not being able to support yourself. Support is a consciousness thing; to be able to open this awareness within you. I’m looking at technologies right around me; iPods and video cameras and computers and stuff. All of this stuff is a result of people’s imaginations. They took a thought that they imagined and they did a whole bunch of steps, and people like me are surrounded by electronic stuff. And, people have made millions and millions of dollars about that. Money, imagination, support, that energy form is abundant. The only thing that separates or distinguishes us from it is consciousness. We have the door closed. If there’s a lull later on in the call I’m going to talk about what I referred to last week as relational statements. That has to do with the state of our relationships with things to include money, our bodies, and health.

To jump to the third thing, the idea that if you don’t speak up for yourself, the interpretation is that sometimes it is politic. It’s wise not to speak up. If you were to interpret it as being spineless, you have constructed, you have commanded, you have blueprinted yourself with a harsh and disempowering interpretation.


Previously on calls and I was noticing it in my notes earlier in the last couple of days, I want to write a formula. Conditions = Images + Suggestions. Another one: Conditions = perceptions + interpretations.

Perceptions plus interpretations equal a condition. Hmmm… You don’t work on changing the condition – you can, and that’s how most people do it, but really if you look at that, perceptions are so variable, interpretations are so variable; choose a new viewpoint. You weren’t hurtful. You didn’t hurt anybody by not speaking up.

Participant: I hurt myself.

Tom Costello: You think you hurt yourself, but that is also a point of view, an interpretation. Maybe you needed to not speak up then in order to reap the harvest now, many years, months or days later. “Ah, I had that experience and now I’m gaining the benefit. It felt like I was being restricted or limited or holding myself back. I’ve been kicking myself and kicking myself. But now I realize that it has led me to this awareness 40 minutes ago, which is a “Ah, this is fantastic.”

In The Healing Codes, really what we are doing as we relax is we’re allowing ourselves to choose another viewpoint for events that we’ve had. Now I would say, “I want to choose another point of view.” You are strong. You are wise. You can support yourself. The consciousness that you are looking for is available to you. It is ever expanding. Here you are talking about it. Now you’ll bring this in.

You’ll let go of that “Oh, I did something wrong. I was spineless.” Those things are very commanding. “I am.” “You are.” “He/she/it is.” “We are.” “He was.” Those are very, very powerful commands. You don’t want to say “I was spineless or I am spineless.” First of all it’s not true. If you were a jellyfish that may be true, but it’s not true of you. It’s not true of a human being. And it’s not true in the sense that spineless means you didn’t stand up for yourself.

The fact is if I don’t stand up for myself this: I don’t stand up for myself. That’s all. It doesn’t mean anything more. If I didn’t stand up for myself = I didn’t stand up for myself. We make up this amazing interpretive story, “I couldn’t have. I shouldn’t have. I could have. I would have…” You turn it into War and Peace, but it’s all interpretation.

Participant: I see my symptoms and I have logically come to those conclusions. At the time I didn’t coin myself as spineless in the past, but now I’m looking at myself and now I’m thinking I might have been. With the support it’s been an ongoing thing. I’m drawing those conclusions on an intellectual level based on the fact that my spine is very weak like a jellyfish. I’m still collapsed in bed all the time, even though I’m strong.

Tom Costello: I’m a fan of this and have made reference to this website. It has to do with physical therapy and they have a lot of good exercises on there. www.eogscue.com He’s got exercises. Recognize that when we get out of bed we’ve got muscles that hurt. It is that our muscles have gotten into a certain position and certain length and when you

http://www.eogscue.com/


start moving around you are asking those muscles very quickly to loosen up, turn into rubber and also support you at the same time. You don’t have a backache, you just have muscles that became tight if you were sleeping in a certain position. We’re looking for flexibility in muscles which support the joints, support the hips, support the shoulders, support the elbows, support the spine, support the knees. As we recognize that and do exercises we go, “Ah, that’s what it is.” Stretching, becoming more flexible, get it, more flexible in terms of point of view as well. You know what? Here’s a thought. You are a pianist. If you were to sit down with no music in front of you I suppose you would not be able to play. You go, “No, of course not. I could play.” Well, how could you play? Are those notes in your fingertips and you put your fingertips on the keys and the notes pop out and hit? “No, I’ve practiced so much I have this reservoir of notes and when I sit down they will come right out of my fingers and I’ll hit the appropriate keys in the appropriate sequence.”

This that you are looking for is in a reservoir that belongs to you. It wants you to access it the same way you would access notes if you were to sit down and improvise, the same way somebody else on this call would write in an inspired fashion. It’s not in the pen. “Oh, that’s my favorite pen. There’s a novel inside this pen.” That’s not where the novel is. It’s not in the pen. It’s somewhere else and flows to us and through us. The same with money. The same with support, the same with health, the same with love, the same with everything.

(Tom tests for and delivers the Code.) Really settle down. Let go of all the stuff that doesn’t belong to you and allow this stuff to flow to you. Typically I diagram things like that. It’s not really out there. It’s right in the center of us. It’s in our chest, our heart area, from belly button to Adam’s apple. Maybe I’ll say from knees to Adam’s apple. Or maybe it’s from the bottom of our feet to the top of our heads. That is where you’re going to open to Light. That Light of awareness, support, connection; that’s where the consciousness of all the wonderful things that have been foretold as belonging to us in Bibles and other holy books are.

Participant: I’ve got those images. That’s wonderful. I have another little short thought. You mentioned when people do Codes for another person that it is two fold. It’s not like cutting a pizza I half, it multiplies. I was thinking if we have a – if every human being who has The Healing Codes now did a Code and as we were doing it for ourselves we might also say “We would like this Code to also go out to every single human being on the planet.” If every single one of did this every single day would that not be a huge step forward? Just pass that on, “For every human being” at the end of the prayer. I’m thinking tacking on that one little phrase would exponentially give Light to everyone.

Tom Costello: I see it, now that you’re saying it. You can see it like a pebble rippling outward. That pebble is us. Outward is family members, loved ones, our family of origin and in-laws and so on. The way I do it is me, my wife, our children and our families. Then I go through my siblings and then coaches, clients, friends, citizens of the world. Even ex-in-laws. I just kind of send that ripple of energy out. I think it’s a great idea, Monica. Thank you.


Participant: Super. Thank you.

Participant: (Nadia) Would you be able to give me a Custom Code? I really have really bad acid reflux. Also if you have any practical advice about that, I’ll take that as well.

Tom Costello: About five or six years ago a friend of mine in California sent me an e-mail about Dr. Batman or Dr. Water. In the e-mail it said if you have heart burn here’s a cure for it. I was eating TUMS or maybe Rolaids or something and going “this is not working.” In the e-mail it said acid, this guy’s point of view is it’s a symptom of dehydration. I think I can afford to try that out. He said to drink one glass of water, an 8 ounce glass of water if you have acid indigestion. If that doesn’t do it, have a second glass.

Well in about 5 or 6 years it has never failed. Usually one glass will do it, but occasionally a second glass – end of story. I cannot believe it. Nobody is making money on that which is why you don’t heart about it. He tends to think asthma, diabetes and a bunch of other things are hugely impacted, including acid reflux, by dehydration. That’s the point of view. Watercure.com used to be his website. I think he died four or five years ago.

Participant: I’ll give that a try.

Tom Costello: There are issues in that sort of thing. I tend to interpret stuff almost literally. Acid reflux, “throwing things up”, “can’t keep it down”… There is some sort of thing going on there. I would look at that. If you were inclined to look deeply at that it would be great. In the mean time, if you relax and let what doesn’t belong to you – this is true for everybody. We don’t need to make conscious those things which are unconscious. First of all we don’t have enough time. We don’t have the processing power. The unconscious, the subconscious is so huge relatively speaking in terms of how it is processing information that if you try to “I want to know everything that is in my subconscious mind” you’d be sitting here for the rest of your life and you’d never catch up. More is coming into your subconscious than you can sort through. It would be like having a limited number of cashiers at a store and people are flooding in. No matter how fast you go, you can’t go fast enough. That’s the difference between the conscious and the subconscious mind. So go, “I don’t need to know. What I’m interested in is healing. I’m interested in achieving peace and letting my body heal this condition. That’s what I’m interested in.” You focus on being at peace. Let your body do the job. Your body is what is going to handle whatever it is from a hangnail to a scratch to you name it.

(Tom tests for a Code.) Get the value of whatever experiences you’ve had and let go of the rest. You don’t have to hold on to – this is all of us – we don’t have to hold on to the watermelon seeds. We can just enjoy the watermelon and let the seeds go, the pits go. Just let it go instead of getting stuck on it. (Tom delivers the Code.) As you do the Codes see how still you can be – not still like keeping yourself from moving, but so


relaxed. That stuff that doesn’t belong to us won’t find a place in a body like that. It’s our resistance, our rigidity, our fighting that holds on to stuff. Okay?

Participant: Okay. Thank you.

Participant: (Marion) I wanted to give an update since I last got a Code from you and also ask for another Code along with a big insight I had which you actually helped me with. It’s the financial piece. The last Code you gave me it was quite remarkable. Literally the next day a friend of mine hands me $40.00, “I just want to give you this, Marion.” Then the big thing that happened is I got a very, very significant raise on the way I was being paid. I do work for elderly people in their homes, not medical, but other stuff. My two big clients died recently, one of them unexpectedly. That was a big, big change going on. Both families kept me on to help with all the sort of post-mortem affairs and estate details and such. One of them was so demanding that the family increased my pay very significantly. That was right after you gave me that Code. It was astounding. I was getting a very good pay rate. Really for the last month, I’d say, it’s been very nice to… I could make ends meet. I needed tires for my car and I could buy them. I was thankful. I just wanted to share that. These Codes really can have this impact like that.

Now both of these jobs are ending, darn if I’m in back in this place again. I’m emotionally doing better and better all the time with the Codes. I’ve been downloading all the Thursday calls. I listen to them a lot in my car and that helps me enormously. I was listening to one of your recent calls and you were talking about journaling. Particularly you were talking about journaling to your topic. So I was driving so I couldn’t write. So my topic is money. I decided to have a conversation with money. I kid you not, in less than a minute I had the most astounding experience.

In my head I’m imagining I’m talking with money. Immediately money is saying to me, “What, are you kidding? You are not allowed to have money.” I’m like, “What?” It was so loud and strong. “You are not allowed to have money!” Holey-moley! Somewhere there is a deep seated belief. It has truly been playing out in my life. Even when I have money it’s gone. Then I thought about it and it made total sense. It was a lie I got – I remember when I was 30 I had a trust fund. It was in my name. I had to have another adult in my life who was acting like a mentor was the one who literally pointed out to me that this was my money and I could go get it. I was 30 years old! It was like I was committing a crime, truly. It was probably one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. There’s a lot of sickness about money in my family and generations.

I realize now I’ve really hit a deep unconscious belief in me. Number one, I’d like my Code to address my current situation. I’ve been making steps to get more work, etc. Things are not coming together as of yet. Now with this awareness I think it’s time for me to believe I’m allowed to have money. There you go.

Tom Costello: Those are fabulous points, fabulous. When you were talking about getting the significant raise…. I don’t want to deny the power of the Codes. The Codes


are powerful. But you know I could take a Code and write it on a piece of paper and stick it on a shelf and nothing will happen. You are the one that is magical. You are the one that is magical. You go, “That’s right.” You’re the one that used that tool to open yourself to this ocean of abundance and a bunch of it just splashed on you. You go, “Yeah. That’s kind of cool. That’s a nice raise.” That’s really the name of the game I think. Use a tool to open this protective barrier that we have around us that people gave us, told us we don’t deserve, it’s bad, you can’t get to heaven, and about a million other things. As you’re using the tool to shine energy in you, and this is really where the barrier is, within us, and as you open to it, wow!

At that point I wanted to interrupt you and say that’s the time to go – you said you were grateful – I say that’s the time to speak to God and say, “Thank you. I just got an inkling. Please help me to continue this expansion of my consciousness and awareness of the abundance you have for us. Keep me on this track. Thank you. Amen.” To me that’s an important thing.

So now as you’re here and you’re looking and say, “Okay, I want more clients to replace the two you just lost…

Participant: Well, Tom, I’m not sure. I’m open. If it’s something else I’m to be doing I’m open. I’m not positive I want to do that to be honest. I will tell you that I’ve had that consciousness. My prayer is that I continue to be on this track and expanding and growing. I’m willing to have more clients. I’m not fired up about this. I have other things I’m fired up about. This one works. I’m good at it. It came into my life last March when I needed work. I feel that I don’t want to limit to another possibility if I’m to do something else.

Tom Costello: This could be just practice. You’re practicing your consciousness raising. Maybe it’s over and maybe it will continue. My opinion is that the services that you are rendering are unbelievably important.

Participant: People need someone at the end…

Tom Costello: Family is scattered all over and can’t get to it and can’t do it. “Wow, I wish I had a stand-in family member.” I can see that need being tremendous. If you find it being rewarding emotionally as well as financially then you continue until something comes across. Your being grateful, your expanding of your awareness and consciousness of this, opportunities… One of these people is going to say to you perhaps, (this happens all the time) “Thank you for helping with my mother, daughter, sister, uncle, grandparent. I really like the way you worked. I have a business and I need help. Would you be willing to come have a conversation about it?” Wow, I didn’t have to apply for a job. You didn’t have to do that. Be open to that. If people can afford to hire you, they can afford to hire you.

I want to quibble with something you said about sickness about money in the family. I thought to myself, “My family, too.” It’s not actually a sickness. It’s ineffectiveness. I


would think this is true for lots and lots of families. We have a history of ineffectiveness with money. We’ve never taken the mystery out of it. We’ve never taken the fear out of it. We’ve never taken the sin out of it. We want it. We don’t want it. We should have it. I don’t know – can I get to heaven….. All those conflicts we have surrounding it. It makes us ineffective. “Here you want to do this?” Ah, ah, ahhhhhh.

I’ll pose this as an image. When we get off the call, all of us go and balance our checkbooks. I was listening to hear a couple of stomachs flip flop. How did that get to be climbing Mt. Everest? It’s because we haven’t been taught. We haven’t be trained. Nobody has helped us to understand that money is so fundamental to moving around in life. Nobody taught me how to drive. Nobody taught me how to use public transportation. Nobody taught me how to ride a bike. Whoa, you’ve got a mobility problem! And nobody taught me how to handle money. Now you’re really got a mobility problem. Money is really for mobility. It helps you to do things that you otherwise would not so conveniently be able to do.

All of us just imagine this. Outside of our consciousness, outside our body, outside of this little circle that we could draw around us right now is unlimited wealth. We can’t see it. We can’t see it. It’s still in the invisible, energetic dimension. But it’s right there. How do I get this invisible money to become visible as it comes into my hands or my checking account or my PayPal account or whatever?

We need to align with it so we go, you know that invisible money, I love that image. I feel so good about it. It’s been promised. Go back to the holy books. Jesus, all great teachers have been talking about the abundance of this. It’s there. Let me open to it. Let me open not only my front door, but let me open the door in my heart, the door in my consciousness and recognize that these gifts from God are in fact available to me. Just because my families didn’t know and we’ve got generations of not knowing how to use and acquire and invest and do things with money, it has gotten me to the point where here on November 13, 2008, I am seeking to understand the spiritual realm of money so it comes to me. I’ve got to thank all my relatives, all my generations of ancestors for getting me to this point where I will look not to “Got to earn it the hard way, sweat, struggle, steal, rob, embezzle, all the popular things now a days, but instead open up on a conscious level, on a spirit level and just access it, let it come to us. Hmm….. That’s feels good.

That would be my thought for this Code. If it shows up there is a singing gig, other clients like you’ve been helping or a job offer from somebody who comes across your energy and goes, “I want this energy in my company. This is the kind of energy I have to have in order to build a really successful company.” You go, “That’s the kind of energy I’m shaping right now. I’m growing. I’m coming into awareness of it.” Okay?

Participant: Yes. You know, Tom, I have fliers and such. When I tell people about this work I do for the elders and that kind of thing I get the same response that you said time and time again. Then I have a couple other things I can do for work. One is voice over. I had a connection with somebody and they said, “Oh, I work for this company and we


need people all the time.” I sent him my demo. This has been going on for a couple of months. This is the response I get and the nothing happens. Nothing. I’m pretty sure I’m positive and appreciative and I’m doing my Codes. I’m envisioning and grateful. These responses happen and yet nothing goes beyond that and I don’t get work and clients. I’m saying to myself, “Just stay open because maybe it is something else.”

Tom Costello: That’s really the answer. You recognize if you are a magnet and nothing is coming to you, it basically boils down to one of two things. There is nothing that you can magnetize because there is no opportunity, nobody needs help with their loved ones – hello! Or…

Participant: I will say on that when I talk with people at the Council on Aging, they are not surprised at all. We all know they need help but it’s very common that they don’t want to think that they need help and they don’t want to part with their cash even if they have the cash to get the help. That’s a very, very common thing. My thinking is I live on a higher realm. If these people need help and I’m good at it we’ll connect with each other. It’s not happening. I agree about being a magnet. I don’t feel that I’m getting in the way myself, but that’s all I can figure. It’s very confusing.

Tom Costello: This is a fundamental issue. “I’ll be happy as soon as they change. As soon as they do it my way I’m going to be happy.” Well, you know what? We’re going to be waiting a mighty long time for them to change. It’s not going to happen unless they decide to change on their own. The only thing any of us on this call have to change, the only thing we’re capable of changing is us. I think in a previous conversation I gave you that unity song, “Miracles are happening. Miracles are happening to me. My eyes are now open. My heart is receptive. Miracles are happening to me.” That’s a pretty good song to be singing. It’s a good vibration. It elevates your mood. It lightens things.

How many people are there in your town? 100,000? I live in a town of about 1500 people. You don’t need 1500 clients. First of all there aren’t that many in a town of 1500. All you need is two or three. The reason they can’t find you is they can’t find you. Let’s say 1500; 1200 don’t have the money, don’t have the need or are not willing to admit the need. No problem. There are 300 more. They’re going, “I wish there were somebody reliable. I want somebody I can trust. I need somebody that I can trust and rely on that will love this person, maybe as well if not better than I can do.” In 1500 there are at least two. I guarantee it.

Now how do I get there? Advertise on TV? Go door to door? You can do it that way. I would suggest the energetic way, though. I’m trustworthy. I’m supportive. I’m effective. I’m efficient. Your family member will love me. You will be tremendously relieved. You’re going to think this is the best money you’ve spent in years and years. This is good all the way around. It eliminates stress from your life and your family member’s life. This is a win-win-win.

I would stay involved and engaged in that image. You only need two or three or four of these people at any one time.


Participant: Yes. That’s right.

Tom Costello: Then, after you do this a few times go, “I’m going to make it a more general opportunity. I want an opportunity where somebody who is efficient, devoted, trustworthy, hardworking….. is needed, wanted and well paid. Now in a town of 1500 there are businesses like that. They need to find me. I need to find them. Let me start sending out those signals, my brand if you will; trustworthy…..

You stay connected to that. It does wonders to you. Basically this stuff takes as long as it takes, but as you discovered it could take a mighty little time.

(Tom tests for Code.) One final thing. Think about this. You are striving in a pleasant, non-stressful way, you are seeking to become more effective with money. Part of that is attracting it. Other parts are spending it, investing it, saving it. Right now we’re talking about attracting it. How to be effective. What mind set does a person have if they’re going to be effective with bringing in money. That’s like a song. We’re trying to hit certain notes. What high vibration notes would I want to have that would represent being effective in bringing in money? How would I feel? What would I think? How would I hold myself? How relaxed would my jaw be? Would the corners of my mouth turn up? Would there be a sparkle in my eye? Would I sigh with relief? Would I take a deep breath? Would I just have tears of gratitude? Would I just not my head in my growing awareness of how wonderful God’s creation is? Go in that place. (Tom delivers Code.)

Participant: Alright. I’ll get back on the call and tell you how it all goes.

Tom Costello: Good.

Participant: Thank you, Tom.

Tom Costello: As you breathe in, breathe in financial blessings. Breathe in abundance. Breathe in God’s love. Breathe in miracles. Every time we take a breath miraculous stuff is going on in our body too numerous even to get our minds around. It is a miracle. Thank you, Marion.


Participant: You started two reasons if nothing is coming in. If you’re a magnet and nothing is coming in. What is the second part of that?

Tom Costello: I was saying two reasons why nothing is coming in?

Participant: You said if you are a magnet and nothing is coming in there are two reasons. I don’t know what you’re going to say.


Tom Costello: Hi, Sharon, If I were to think of this image of the farm pump, you have to prime the farm pump in order to get water out of it. I believe if you want a smile, if you offer a smile first, your chances of harvesting a smile are incredibly excellent. Instead of waiting for somebody to give it to you, give it first.

One of the ways to do this is to offer abundance. I’m not necessarily talking about, “I have one dollar to my name. I’m going to give it away.” Most of us would have too much fear associated with that. So there is tremendous abundance. You can give. You can give a smile. You can give a compliment. You can hold a door. You can give a pat on the back. You can give an "at-a-boy" or "at-a-girl". Give energy. Appreciate somebody walking by with beautiful shoes or beautiful dress, lovely coat, nice hairdo, beautiful suit. Admire a beautiful car going by. Offer high vibration energy to whatever you are looking at. Now as you start offering appreciation, that high vibration, gratitude that you can experience this and that it is available in this counter versus in some countries this conversation couldn’t even occur. “We have nothing but sand.” We have unbelievable abundance. Offer that vibration of appreciating abundance and then you’ve planted seeds. You’re like the farmer out in the field scattering seed. It doesn’t come as a surprise to any farmer that a period of time later he’s going to have a crop. He will harvest. I would suggest that’s an important concept as compared to “Uh-oh, uh-oh. I only have a dollar. I only have a dollar.” You have energy. A dollar just happens to be one minor form. Give energy.

Participant: Give energy. You should have been on the ship. That was the theme. The other question I have is back to saying you do the Codes for a group of your family members. Do you do the same Code for everybody? Do you go through the 12 Days? How do you do the mechanics of a group of people with a whole bunch of different issues?

Tom Costello: This is good because of our e-mail. If I were to look at a brother with diabetes, a niece with diabetes, somebody else with dandruff or hangnail or a …

Participant: Or anger or resentment or whatever…

Tom Costello: Yeah. I think that’s a much better place to deal – with emotions rather than physical symptoms. I would really be inclined to look at (Tom cut off phone connection)

Can you imagine a family reunion in which you had 10, 12, 20, 100, however many people that you have in your more or less immediate family? Can you imagine that?

Participant: Yep.

Tom Costello: I’m taking a piece of paper and putting a bunch of dots on the paper. I’ll make a dot in the center, me, only because I think in terms that I’m the center of the universe. That’s a problem I may need to work on tomorrow. I could have been a dot anywhere in that, not necessarily in the center. I would want to connect to the rest of


those dots. I would like to offer loving energy to my sister, my sister, my brother, my sister, my brother, my mother, my father, their parents. My parents are dead and I only knew one grandparent and they are long dead. But I still can send energy to them. Then I think of our children and grandchildren and family as a general thing – nieces and nephews and so on. All of us come to the awareness that within us is a light that is really us. The bodies are not us as much as this core, this spiritual essence is us. I want to think of all of these relatives, all of the coaches, clients, friends, class-mates (I have a class reunion probably in the summer) and citizens of the world, I would like each one of us, myself included, to recognize that I have this Light within. If I have this Light within what’s going on right over there – the weeds growing in my yard or a traffic jam or something else—is far less threatening.

Imagine drawing lines to each of these relatives on your piece of paper and flow energy to them. As Monica was saying before if we could do that to the planet itself, to mother earth and then to the leaders of the world and all of the people on the planet and so on – then it’s almost as if those are cells in the body that now are willing and feel safe enough to communicate with other cells in the body.

Cancer is just the opposite. A cancer cells doesn’t communicate because it’s dumber. If you can bring light and oxygen and water to a cancer cells it’s like bringing awareness, “Oh, I do belong to the whole. I thought I was on the outside. I didn’t belong. Nobody wanted me. Nobody cared for me.” That’s kind of like a gang in a city environment in this country and perhaps other countries as well. Let’s re-integrate them. Let’s reconnect with them.

Anger is “I’ve got to get people to stop doing things. I’m so threatened. I’m so much in fear. I’m angry. I’m angry!” But when we’re in anger we are in fight or flight. We don’t process information very effectively and in fact we are not aware of this light within. We only know fight, the real primitive man kind of behavior or running away. We run away with drugs and alcohol and workaholism and stuff. Fighting, criticizing, being mean spirited, war, killing, that’s cave man. If somebody were to hold a mirror up to them, and you can do that Sharon, and everybody on this call including me, we can do that. When we think of our siblings we’re not going to go “Man, I remember when I didn’t get a fair share of those pancakes when I was 10. I think my siblings got more pancakes than I got.” We can stay fixated on that if we think that’s a big threat. Or we can let it go. That’s not bothering them, but it sure is bothering me. We let that go and we come back to focusing on the light within. “I’m going to focus on the truth about my angry relative, my ill relative, my impatient relative, my sad relative, my depressed relative and whatever else, and reconnect to them.”

I can offer love. I can offer love regardless of the circumstances. That compares to, “I can’t be nice to them. They’re not nice to me.” Hello! That’s okay if we were little children. It’s not okay when we have the consciousness when we have to use The Healing Codes and be on calls like this one and be open to growing. I can offer love under any circumstances. Circumstances don’t take away my power to be kind, to be loving.


In a case like that you can see those relatives. You are a pebble in the midst of this and you hit the water and the ripples go out. Really what you want them to know is who they are.

In parentheses as a side bar: I was talking last week about journaling. I got off the call and a little while later I thought of something I left out that was really important. I journal so I can know myself. I want to know who and what I am. That’s really the reason I journal; I’m trying to discover who and what I am.

Everybody, all those dots, all our relatives, all our friends, all of our classmates, all of our town members, all the people in our county and state, all the members of our church or temple… let me offer this high vibration, acceptance and kindness. Then the single Code. You could start with Unforgiveness and do Harmful Actions, Unhealthy Beliefs with the idea that some of that stuff is stuck to them. “A hundred years ago he….. to me…” You can visualize everybody of all those dots understanding that Unforgiveness makes them prisoners. It takes away their freedom and you want them to be free; free to discover who and what they are.

Harmful Actions; my joy comes from seven martini’s a day, it comes from beating up my employees. No it doesn’t. To offer that kind of harshness to another person they have to attract it into their own life in order to deliver it. They have to fill their reservoir with toxic energy so they can deliver it to in-laws or somebody they don’t like or another political party or another religion or another color. I don’t think we want to do that. That’s not what we want in the reservoir.

You can go right through the Codes with that same idea. Unhealthy Beliefs – we’ve got a reservoir full of those; the stuff we’ve been told about money, about love, about life, about kindness, about dog-eat-dog. We’d be here for years talking about all the stuff that we’ve been taught that is not true and causes us to bump into walls.

You can go right through the 12 Days just like that. You are the pebble that radiates out that lovely energy. Make sense? Did I lose you?

Participant: I wonder if I could have a – my sister sent out and SOS. She’s having some financial problems. I wonder if I could have a Code for her? Here name is Eugina.

Tom Costello: So what do you think the financial issues are due to?

Participant: I’m going to tell her to listen to the archived calls. They would be good for her.

Tom Costello: Well, yeah. I’ll give you a Code that you can do on her behalf. But, you would be better off, and I think so would she, in you filling your cup to overflowing. Nothing teaches like modeling. It’s very easy to say, “Do this. You should do this. I really recommend you do this and then do this.” People go, “Well, hmmm…., how is it


working for you?” “Oh, well, ah, mmm….” Really what you want to do is be so successful at using the Codes to eliminate those obstacles that at are in your path. In my opinion you put them there just like I put the obstacles in my path. Nobody else does it. I do it. We put those obstacles there. “Let me get a new point of view about these obstacles and the need for them. Let me choose a different game other than stopping myself dead in my tracks. Paula, I want what you’re having.” That’s the best way.

Participant: She asked me to do a Code for her and pray for her. She’s….

Tom Costello: That’s good. A person that asks for help has already gotten it. In order to ask for help you have to open up. If you open up you can receive. If you open up, you can receive. If you move energy by asking you have opened and now you can receive it. For us to go up to somebody who is like a clam or oyster and say, “I’m going to give you something’ and the shell is tightly closed in self-protection, we’re not going to give much of anything to that person because they are blocking it in their self-protection. Her asking you to do a Code for her is a good thing. Thank you for telling me that.

Participant: She sent out an SOS e-mail asking for support and prayers.

Tom Costello: Good. Got it. Okay.

Participant: It’s kind of a general thing. We’ve got a lot of financial things going on in Detroit with General Motors and all that stuff.

Tom Costello: Nah! You guys are wanting to blame the environment for stuff.

Participant: I don’t believe in all that, either. A lot of people are collectively believing all this craziness. One person gets scared and everybody else starts getting scared. Then another 100 people get scared.

Tom Costello: What’s this got to do with you?

Participant: I was wondering if when I do that Code I can send it out to the Detroit area hoping that it can help some of them, if I put that in the intention?

Tom Costello: Yes. You can. I think this is germane to your situation, Paula. Energy is going to come into you. Consider yourself like a light bulb. Energy is going to flow to you. Instead of lighting up your filament and becoming as bright, bright, BRIGHT as you possibly can so people can see the path to their own self-awareness, see that it’s possible, instead of doing that, you want to take that energy and quickly give it away. “Oh, I don’t want to light my filament. No. Other people have filaments. I want to…” It’s like putting a bypass in there.

Become healthy, whole, healed (all of those are the same word) and be so bright that by virtue of that your energy will ripple out.


Participant: I see what you mean by that. I have a big heart and I want them to be doing well, but by me doing well, they will become well.

Tom Costello: Yes, they will.

Participant: I know you’ve said that to me before, but now I kind of see what you are saying.

Tom Costello: Good. (Tom gives the Code.) Really, breathing, water, decent nutrition and rest, but really it is this breathing in – you people up in the north, you know because you’re coming close to fireplace time if you’re not already there, you need to adjust the damper in your fireplace so the fire can get enough oxygen, get enough air in order to burn properly. Breathing is that same requirement for metabolism, for combustion, for energization, enthusiasm for this fire within. That could be a great way to get spirit into my body, by breathing. Now your filament is brighter, clearer. That’s where you want to be.

Participant: I was thinking about asking you why the breathing is so important in The Q Codes. I didn’t ask the question and you just told me.

Tom Costello: There you go.

Participant: I have all these little questions while I’m doing the Codes. I get the answer and then another question. So far it’s like one of those expandable telescopes. It just keeps expanding while I’m doing the Codes. All kinds of thought and ideas feel like my mind is expanding in dimensions and other dimensions beyond. It’s interesting.

Tom Costello: That’s the name of the game. Increasing our awareness. Thanks, Paula.

Participant: Thank you. Thank you for her, in her name.

Tom Costello: Thanks. Somebody else on the call?

Participant: (Gail) I think I’ve been doing the Codes about a year and a half. It is amazing to me that I have images and memories that I’m so used to that I have not done Codes on them. As I do Codes on them there’s a huge healing that happens. It’s just as if it was accepting them as “what is”. I don’t even need to look at that, but at something else. I’m amazed and very grateful that I’ve been looking at those and doing that. It’s definitely making a big difference.

It’s learning that any image that is in there and has been there for some time needs to be looked at. Then do a Code on it and expect major results is what I’ve learned.

Tom Costello: I was writing earlier today that imagination is one of the greatest gifts given to human beings. The ability to imagine things, to see things that don’t yet exist in physical form, you can imagine stuff that is not yet real. That’s an amazing thing. Our


educational system is saying, “NO, no, no. No daydreaming in the back of the room. Hey, you kids, I want you not to be imaginative, not to be creative. I want you to memorize certain rules about how these facts and figures.” I can remember my youngest child coming home at about 7 years old and said, “Daddy, why do I need to know what happened in 1607?” I went, “Honey, you don’t, except to get a passing grade on a test. In fact once you pass this test you won’t have much reason to know that fact. There are certain situations related to that that might be interesting later on, but that’s not what they’re teaching you.” In 1607, who did what to whom? Okay. That will be a question on the test.

Instead of helping us to develop this imagination which can set us free, set us free, we memorize rules. Now what you’re talking about Gail is we don’t even see the bars on the cell door because they’ve been there so long. Now we say “I want to see if I can get a different point of view about everything and anything just for the sake of expanding my mind, just to see if I can do it.” I don’t want to be like the theory behind elephant training in the old days. Maybe they still do it. They would tie a baby elephant’s leg with a huge, huge rope. No matter what it did it would not be able to break free of this rope. As the elephant grows it recognizes, it can’t break free of the rope. Now the rope is nothing but a very small one. In fact, if the elephant got a new point of view, “I going to see if I can break free of this rope” he, of course, could. Because they don’t get a new point of view they don’t have the…. I can imagine something different happening than what happened the last time or the time before that or the time before that.

We, to some extent, are different from the elephant despite all our education. Now we can say, “I want to get a new point of view about this.” How is going to the grocery store tomorrow related to *? That makes me think differently. For those of us who travel internationally quite a bit and around the country a lot, one of the first things my wife and I like to do when we get in a foreign country is go to a grocery store. I like the European packaging, but nowhere will you find a grocery store like the United States. Ninety-seven different vinegars; 122 different mustards, 11 – WOW! When people come to this country that’s what staggers them. “You’ve got such an abundance! The different types of potatoes you guys have! Wow.” That, in and of itself, is an experience of tuning in and aligning with abundance.

What did you want to work on tonight?

Participant: I would like to be in love and vibrating the energy so that streams of light are pouring out of my heart like a picture of my teacher. Most of my life, which includes now, I’m in fear on one level. I want to say a couple other things are showing up and one tooth that is bothering me. When I looked it up in the book it’s loneliness, acute grief, humiliation, trapped, inhibited, and not lovable. I can feel that aspect. While on the other part of me I am loving teaching. I am loving working with clients. Some clients, even this week, have just teared up at the changes that they’ve had and the gratitude they have. I feel that I’m gifted there, however, I’m not self-supporting there. I would like really like to be. I think it’s my fear vibration relative to health and finances and a few other things that are hindering what I deeply love.


Tom Costello: You talked about love and now you’re talking about money.

Participant: Yes, that’s true. Somehow fear and money block love. My sense is I have somewhere in me where if I really love something or love to do something, then I cannot have money.

Tom Costello: Here’s what I would like others on this call to do. Just imagine we’re going to clean everything off the table. I’m setting here in front of a large table. There are a couple of computers, papers, calculator, water, glasses, book, headsets…. I’m going to clear all that off and I’m going to start all over with a design. All that stuff on the table comes from a previous level of awareness. That’s old news. This belief in being unlovable doesn’t belong to you. Somebody gave that to you. Somebody came along and said, “I’ve got some junk here. Oh, I’m feeling particularly unlovable. I want to give you some.” “Oh, man, I’m unlovable. Oh, wow.” Somebody just deposited nasty energy ineffectively because they didn’t know what they were doing. As a little child we don’t know. “You’ve got the wrong address, fella. This is the love place. That’s not coming in here. Thank you. Must be some other house.” We take that stuff in. It’s not true.

Because we’ve cleaned the table off, we can put stuff back in any way we want. If you want love…..

I have to say this. Sidebar. Dog whisperer, Caesar Milan on National Geographic television. This guy is so fantastic. They refer to him as a dog whisperer. If they told him he was the people whisperer nobody would tune in. He’s really a people whisperer. He was saying to somebody a week or so ago on a recorded show, a woman was having trouble with her dog and she was having trouble with relationships. He said, “You have trouble with relationships?” She said, “Oh, man, yeah.” He said, “You got this dog out of the pound? You rescued it?” “Yes.” He said, “Listen to me. You cannot rescue a man with affection. You cannot rescue a dog with affection.” I was sitting there with my wife. I said, “Oh my god, that is unbelievably true.” Men need direction, and so do dogs. We need direction. End of sidebar.

So the love you want is going to come from two places basically. It’s going to come from you and it’s going to come from God, Source, Jesus, Holy Spirit. It’s already coming there. We just don’t open the door to it. “Ah, I’ve got to be really good. I have to be really kind in order to have God love me.” No. No. God loves you, period. End of Story. My opinion, obviously. You don’t have to earn it. “Little girl you’d better get all the answers right here in your daily life or else you’re not going to get love at the end of it.” I don’t imagine for a moment that’s the way it works with God. You have this life force flowing to you. As you breathe it in, as you accept it and you enjoy it and you love it and you offer it to your clients and to people in the grocery store and on the highway and everywhere else, you get more of it.


But you loving you, that’s where the challenge is. You want to use the rules that you’ve memorized from your former “teachers” – “You’re unlovable.” Daddy did you say that because you had a bad day at work and you’re feeling particularly unhappy with yourself? “Oh, yes I am. Yes. In fact that’s what I just did. I picked up a lot of static and I’m not emotionally mature enough to know how to deal with it so I dump it on my wife and kids.” Okay, I was just checking. I just want you to know I didn’t take it in. I knew better. “Oh, good for you little girl. That’s a smart thing to do.” That’s how an ideal scene would be.

The same with the rest of this stuff. I say all disapproval, every time anybody ever, ever, ever in your life disapproved of you it was because they disapproved of themselves. It’s static. Static. It’s not the same as correction, “You’ve got your left shoe on your right foot and your right shoe…” That’s not disapproval. That’s correction. That’s direction as well. Maybe Caesar would have added correction as well as direction to what men and dogs need. Really correction is how to make somebody happy. “You can make me happy if …. This would make me happy. That would make me happy.” That’s compares to, “You made me unhappy by…..” That’s sidebar part 2.

Loving you with regard to money; loving you with regard to more clients; loving you with regard to a relationship means that you can attract somebody who loves themselves. If he loves himself, I’ll tell you what, that’s a much nicer relationship than somebody comes through the door all broken. “Oh, man, I’ve got a basket case on my hands. That poor guy is licking his wounds. He doesn’t have anything for me. I don’t know why I attracted that.” Okay?

Participant: Yes.

Tom Costello: (Tom tests for and delivers the Code.) I would like to think of this in a couple of different ways. It’s almost like the thing we want is just outside the door. In fact it’s just outside our heart. “Let me sit here and get so still, so peaceful, so relaxed, so comfortable, in the state of being blessed and being eager to offer blessings – that is prime other people’s pumps. I want to offer love and kindness.” Kindness is a magnificent word. Be kind. I did that this morning. I was going out of the house for a computer. I said, “You know what? I’ve never done this my entire life. I’ll set my objective of being kind. I’m going to get into the be kind energy mode.” The first car I saw waved to me. I thought, how funny is that? It’s a whole different thing.

Participant: Thank you.

Tom Costello: I would do that throughout the day to stay connected to this ability to open and avail yourself of all these blessings. By that you’ll be an even more magnificent teachers. Every student on the planet in every class is looking to do that.

Participant: Thank you. I appreciate it deeply.


Tom Costello: Thanks. Well, we’ve gone pretty late. I don’t want to leave anybody hanging. If there’s somebody who would like to talk or a Code or something, I certainly am eager to….

Participant: (Eilene) Listening to everybody, everything gets dovetailed and all the issues I’m dealing with are what other people are. I’ve got a lot to think about. Two things that come to mind are sometimes I feel that there’s so much – I feel like I’d have to start over with all twelve Codes today. I’m so tired, so I don’t know how to proceed. I’ve had a really tough week. I would like to be directed that way, like if you feel like you’ve gone backward so much versus forward, how do you progress and are not overwhelmed?

The other part is I know how important positive energy and attracting like energy and all that kind of stuff is. But part of me resists. My first thought would be forgiveness is the issue. But there is part of me resisting. I talked about this a long time ago with God. It was sorted out at the time. But, I’m stuck – if we’re always thinking positively and trying to attract that like energy, etc., then how are these injustices getting dealt with?

The error that I’ve made is to get angry, thinking that will solve the injustice, whatever it is, whatever it has been. Whether it’s chores not done or someone hurting myself or another, or someone not doing their job and then it hurt a lot of people – whatever it is, it feels like if I forgive them or love them or whatever, then it just continues. The lack of them doing their job and hurting other people, whatever, continues.

I know in theory I’m not understanding this. I decided to be vulnerable and let people know my brain is having a hard time with this tonight. I’ve been really, really angry this week. I’m really angry to the point of just sobbing sometimes. It was surfacing some of the remnants I thought I’d dealt with. I find myself resisting doing what I know I should do. Because of them getting away with it… Am I making sense? I’m being vulnerable. I’m saying, “Here’s my human part. I’m having a really hard time with this.”

Tom Costello: Good for you. I think we put ourselves in a box when we don’t expect or allow or permit ourselves to experience our normal range of human emotion. To me that’s like having a piano and there in only one key – Middle C, and you couldn’t hit any others because they are not there or they are off limits. Getting angry – there are times when that is absolutely appropriate. What it really means is you have passion about a particular thing and you feel as if it needs to stop. I consider anger and emotion of “Stop!”. “Don’t do that any more.” Or, “Do something different.”

The trouble with it from a tools standpoint on a regular basis is it scares the other person. If it scares the other person it makes them dumber and it makes them more resistant. If you yell at a student, trying to make them get the answer, you just made it more difficult for them to get the answer because they go into self-protect. They, instead of being lighter, are heavier. Instead of being brighter, they are duller. “Oh my god, it’s worse. I don’t understand what’s wrong with you!” They get worse and worse. “Hmmm… I’m working against myself here. I really want them to open up to the possibility that they


can cause "at-a-boy’s” or "at-a-girl’s” if they take out the garbage or clean up their room or do their job. They’re going to feel better at the sense of accomplishment. They don’t have to wait for the pat on the back. It’s a job well done. That feels good.

A statement I read years ago said, “Production is the basis of morale.” You want to feel better, start producing something. You say to this person who is not doing the job, they don’t understand that reality. “If you did the job you’d feel good about yourself.” “Oh, I didn’t know that would work. I didn’t know I would feel better. My view, my limited view was it was a chore. It was tedious. It’s boring. There’s no real reward in it.” In fact there’s a reward in every single activity. “I didn’t have the awareness to appreciate that. Thanks for waking me up to that.” You didn’t wake him up to that with a club in your hand or you would have made them dull and they wouldn’t have gotten it. You would have done it by seeing their ability to expand their awareness.

I’m familiar, having lived in New York City. One day I lived on the ninth floor. I looked down and there was somebody screaming down in the street. I was working on my desk. All of a sudden I thought, “What did I do wrong.” I though, “Wow, that’s amazing. I’m nine floors away from this guy and I’m hearing yelling and my first translation is I’m doing something wrong and I just got caught at it. That’s weird. That really needs some healing.” This is years ago.

The next day he’d be out there yelling and screaming. The second time the twinge was much less. The third time less and the fourth time this was not at all. This was when the Reagan administration cut back on funding so a lot of people who had been institutionalized were now on the streets of New York and other cities. I thought, I don’t have to internalize his behavior. His behavior is originating from his own level of awareness which was perceiving stuff that I was unfamiliar with; screaming at cars and streetlights and whatever. I didn’t take that in.

I have a step son by a previous marriage who has been diagnosed as brain injured and retarded and so on. I don’t expect Ross to be a rocket scientist. Maybe I should change that. He’s like a savant when it comes to Star Trek. I don’t expect him to be a neuro-surgeon. I recognize he processes his information like he processes it. You know what, that’s the same way I do. If you sat me in front of a piano and say, “play”, I would go “plink, plink, plink.” Oh, you’re musically retarded. “Yes. I am.” “Well, do a standing back flip.” “No, I can’t do that.” “Oh, so you’re physically retarded.” Yeah, I guess I am.

These people who don’t appreciate are responsibility retarded. The ability to cause a good effect by doing a good job retarded. Yelling at a retarded person doesn’t make much sense. It’s their level of awareness. I need to see it in a different way. Frankly, if they don’t take out the garbage they’re not getting upset. I’m getting upset. I’m the one.

I was going to a computer store today. The car ahead of me was parked at the intersection but they were parked in the crosswalk. That’s a pet peeve of mine. I made an illegal U turn a few years ago and had to take an on-line course about driving. And


you’re supposed to stop before the cross walk. I know the rule. I know the rule! So growling started in me. I thought, “Oh, man, I know the rule so I want that woman ahead of me in that car to obey the rule that I think is so important. And I want that person over there to obey the rule of not throwing a cigarette out the window. I want that person to hurry up in the lane because my rule is you should go faster….” You have rules about his stuff. “When these people don’t follow my rules I get pissed off.”

How can I make them see the value of cooperating and contributing to harmony within the household, within the company? That’s really what they want to do. They don’t know how to do it.

Participant: I never thought that way. To me my rule is more virtuous, but it really is just a rule. The definition I gave to it was everything. To some people it is not.

Tom Costello: I grew up with a father who loved cars and loved to drive. There were specific ways to do things. Not unkindly, but you want to do this and you downshift and do this. I’m very rule oriented in the car. Hello! No kidding! That’s where I learned a lot of rules. But somebody just made these up. Why is it 35 miles an hour here instead of 40 or 30? Somebody made it up. The rule is I want to interpret situations so they make me happy. Oh, there’s a good rule. “Son, if you take out the garbage now, that would make me really happy. Caesar Milan says direction is a good thing to use with you.” “I don’t know Caesar’s mom, but I’ll take out the garbage.” Good.

The rules in my opinion, are largely constructed to prevent hurt. The stop light prevents people going north and south from hitting people going east and west. That’s a lot of hurt. Okay, that’s a good idea. Stop signs the same thing. Speed limits in school zones the same thing. Signaling is designed to alert people. It’s designed to prevent hurt. That’s what these rules are. We keep adding rules and rules and rules and rules and rules….. “We have a rule in this classroom.” What was this rule? “Children don’t speak until they are spoken to.” Hmmm….. I broke that rule. There were 7 of us and there were only two adults. We had them out numbered. “Women walk three steps behind the man.” Oh, that’s a rule. Who is benefitting from all these rules? The controllers are. When they’re not designed to prevent hurt, they are designed for control.

If we don’t need to control people, which is a job none of us can really do anyway… “I think I’m going to control my kids.” Okay, that’s not going to happen. We might be able to teach them to discern how to take a path that will produce happiness versus unhappiness. That doesn’t involve rules. That’s awareness. “I want going to hand my kids a 7000 page book of rules to get through life. Maybe if they would be alert to creating happiness for themselves first and for others secondarily, and sometimes they have to initiate it with somebody else first – service, that sort of thing. Priming the pump.

Participant: I hear what you’re saying and I’m going to have to think a lot about it. Some of the stress is the job I have there are a lot of legal things that the students have to follow by law. If someone comes in and they are not doing them, they can be cited.


What I’m hearing you say is motivate them to do it versus control them to do it. I’ll take that and think about it more; think of ways I can do that.

Tom Costello: Let me offer you this, Eilene. I’m standing a the fork in the road. I’m trying to make a decision whether to fill out these papers. I’m about to sit down to fill out these legal papers. What is going to pass through my mind are a couple of concepts anyway. One is pain potential. I prefer “hurt” potential. And the other is happiness potential. If I look at any kind of activity and the hurt potential is huge and the happiness potential is very small I’m going to procrastinate or hurry through this so fast with eyes closed just to get it over with.

If I can see this as the happiness potential is higher than the hurt potential I’m going to be more open to doing this. In a case of looking at this kind of situation, “How fun is it to fill out these papers?” It’s not necessarily fun, but there’s a hurt potential and there’s a happiness potential. Dong them correctly sets a foundation that you don’t have to look over your shoulder thinking that hurt is going to come up and bite you on the butt because you did it well in the first place. Nobody is going to give you a citation. There’s no trouble. Nobody is going to “catch” you. You don’t have to worry about it. You did it well in the first place. The consequences of doing a job ineffectively, sloppily, shoddily, nonchalantly, inattentively have a hurt potential that you don’t want to contend with. And, if you don’t get cited for these forms this month or this year or this decade, if you develop this habit of shoddiness, it’s kind of like driving with your eyes closed. You may survive for a while. You know what? You’ve got some bad things coming in your future, fella.

These people think “if I can hurry through this I can go outside and do something with friends or do something that is more fun.” Yes, you can. But doing it well is a very, very good investment. “I never saw it that way. I was trying to get it over with.” No, that’s like eating a meal. “I want to see how fast I can eat this meal.” What did you have? “You should have asked me before I ate it. I don’t know. I ate it so fast.” You didn’t get any benefit from that. You didn’t savor that experience. You didn’t take in any energy of doing this well. You didn’t have time for an "at-a-boy" or "at-a-girl" as you were filling that form out, you did it so fast and so poorly. You missed a tremendous opportunity to strengthen yourself, to empower yourself.” “Oh, man, nobody told me that stuff.” Probably more than about a dozen times, every year of your schooling you were told.

If you make it a battle, a conflict, they’ll take it as a game. “Oh, she’s trying to make us do this. The game is to avoid trying to do it.” We try not to. She tries to make us. It’s like arm wrestling or football or something. You go, “Nope. There are consequences here. I’m not your opponent. Actually I’m on your team. I’m your coach.”

Participant: With what you’re saying I will make the choice to proceed with the students as a motivating. I know, in theory, that will benefit me more. But there’s a funny resistance, that if I do my job well I can’t leave my job. I was writing notes since 7:30. Someone was talking about doing something different instead of caring for the elderly.


There’s a funny thing going on where I’m making myself be very unhappy with my current job so that I can leave it, versus just having enough bravery to just leave it, because I don’t know where to go. I think that if I chose to motivate rather than be agitated and frustrated and all this, then it makes me have to look at the issue – I don’t know how to say it because I’m so scared. I want to change careers but I don’t know where to go and I don’t know if that’s right.

Tom Costello: I hear you and I think that’s a very common problem. I want a new house. If I burn this one down then I’ll have to get a new house. On the other hand, if I love this house and from that place of lovingness start to expand my vision of the next house then somebody else can take this house and I’ll move to the next one. If I love this job, now I’m not making it threatening. I’m not scaring myself. I’m literally not making myself dumber by stressing out which is what happens when we stress out. We make ourselves less effective. I love my job. I really love it. I love everything about it, but I’m on first base. I’m not at the end. I’m going to second base and third base and I’m going home. Maybe I can do it in one trip, home being this job I absolutely will love for the rest of my life….

Participant: I don’t know what that looks like. I won’t let myself like my job because I think it will make me always stay at this thing.

Tom Costello: No, just the opposite.

Participant: I already do a really good job, but..

Tom Costello: No, you don’t.

Participant: On stage I do. My mind, I don’t sleep well at night. I’m complaining all the time. Not at work, but I know that effects it.

Tom Costello: Yes. You’ll be doing a good job when you love yourself in relation to this job. “I love how I am when I think about this job. I love how I am when I’m driving to work. I love how I am on lunch break. I love how I am when I’m doing a report. I love how I am when I’m driving home.”

Participant: This very comment you’re saying is parallel to what I said at the beginning. If you love the people that abused you or if you loved the people that didn’t take care of you, then you are okaying it. It’s kind of like you’re telling me I’ll do a good job at my job when I love myself in relation to this job. I have huge resistance. I can feel it pop up.

Tom Costello: Good. Good. This is really what I’m saying. If you can offer vibrations of love to your job, you can attract a job you love even more. You’re not condoning the copy machine not working well or your office being too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer. We’re not talking about that. We’re talking about your feelings about this job, not the physicality of it: it’s too far, I have to go up two floors. I’m not talking about that. It’s whenever you think about this you offer high vibration. You’re not


saying it’s perfect. We’re not talking about perfection. You’re choosing to send, offer high vibration to it. When it snows you do the same thing. When it doesn’t snow you can do the same thing. People that abused us as children were basically retarded. So saying “I hate the fact that they did that.” Okay. At some point we have to heal it. It’s either a spear or arrow stuck into our energy field, that hurt is so palpable. Do you want to take it out, heal it, transform it? “NO, no, If I take it out who is going to know they did it?”

“Here give me a hug.” “I can’t. I’ve got an arrow stuck in me. Don’t get too close. It hurts.” We’re not condoning it. It’s not about them. It’s about us. We’re taking care of us. We’re loving the job for us.

Participant: I’m going to be brave this week. I’m going to check in with you next week and I’m going to do everything to love this job, in faith. I’m going to let you know how it goes. I’m going to listen to what you’re saying and go with the Trust Code, the Love Code and the Forgiveness Code and all those and see what happens.

Tom Costello: Make it a game. Much like I was talking with Paula and Marion about choosing different points of view. “I’ve got a rule. I’ve got to be angry about this in order to get off of it. In order to leave I’ve got to burn my bridges.” I’m familiar with that as a technique. Other people leave a job and everybody loves them. They come back and visit and everybody loves them. “Oh, man, I didn’t know you could do it that way. I thought you had to make everybody hate you and you hate everybody in order for you to escape.” That’s one way of doing it that is really destructive.

I drew a stick figure. That’s you. I drew a box toward the right hand side. There is a couple of inches space in between. In that box I’ve got “Job”. I have lines extending from you toward the box. I put little arrows on the end. The energy you’re offering to the job is “I hate this job. Boy it’s annoying. I don’t get paid enough. The people I have to deal with! This would be a great job if it wasn’t for where it was, the kind of work I have to do, the people I work with and the customers. It would be so perfect.”

Those lines represent rules, judgments, opinions, criticisms, clichés, stuff you’ve been told, prejudices, things you misunderstood. “In order to get what I want I have to feel this way.” MMMMM Do over. “In order to get what I want I have to attract it. I don’t have to destroy where I am to get what I want. I attract what I want by loving where I am. I practice loving.

Forgiving is for me because it makes me free. The shackles, this connection, the spears, the arrows, they dissolve, they heal. That’s what I’m about. Okay?

Participant: So do I do the forgiveness Code? That would be an example that you can clear the slate. I’ve spoken negatively a lot, a lot about this job. If I do forgiveness would that be like wiping the slate clean like you were talking earlier to someone?

Tom Costello: Yes.


Participant: Maybe just focus on that?

Tom Costello: I like this as forgiveness. This is what I’m working on the last couple of days. I’ve started to cycle through all my family. Today I was working on my son. Yesterday it was my oldest daughter. Tomorrow it will be my younger child. I want to forgive myself and then for any hurt we have ever, I mean ever, done to one another. I want to clean that slate and from this place offer nothing but love and admiration and affection to them. I’m going to do my third child tomorrow and then start with my siblings. I want to be free. I don’t want to tangle them up in my unforgiveness or their unforgiveness of me. They have more reason to be unforgiving of me than vice versa.

I want to do this with ex’s and inlaws. I want to be free. If I’m not free I can’t discover who I am. Ditto with you. If we’re not free we can’t manifest this next wonderful job.

Participant: That next wonderful job I manifest will I know it’s “right”. That’s what is stopping me.

Tom Costello: You’re not going to climb the mountain by starting at the bottom and walking to the top. That’s not how anybody climbs Mt. Everest. There are stopping-off points. There are plateaus. There are base camps. You become acclimated. Not everybody who plays baseball runs from home plate all around the bases to home plate. That’s called a home run. Some people make it to first base. Some people make it to second. Occasionally someone gets to third. And then, more frequently than triples, someone hits a home run. But, is your next job a home run or a single? I don’t know. Is it a double or a triple? Is it a home run? I don’t know. It will progress. It will advance you forward.

If it’s a step in the direction of more happiness, that’s for me.

Participant: That’s a good point. Exactly. I appreciate you staying on the phone late for me. God bless you. You’ve really, really helped a lot.

Tom Costello: I’m pleased. God bless you.

Participant: I will be doing forgiveness all week.

Tom Costello: Feel how good it feels to shed those chains, those shackles, those pebbles in your pocket you’ve been carrying around wanting to throw back at them.

Participant: I agree. I’ve already forgiven myself instead of feeling bad. I’m on the forgiveness bandwagon for me first.

Tom Costello: I think it’s a wonderful space for us to be in.



Tom Costello: You’re welcome, Eilene. God bless you.I’m going to officially end the call. I have a wife arriving at an airport who is interested in me and the dog picking her up. I’d like to thank anybody who is still on the call for your persistence, and people listening to this call.

Group: Thank you, Tom. Have a safe trip.

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Tom Costello: This is The Healing Codes question and ... · Web viewTom Costello: As you breathe in, breathe in financial blessings. Breathe in abundance. Breathe in God’s love