Tried and True Keys for Mentoring

1. Be a Friend

• Mentors are usually described as friends

• An ideal older brother or sister- Provide gentle guidance

• Do not be an authority figure

• Don’t preach your values

2. Have Realistic Goals and Expectations

• Relationships take time and patience

• Primary goal is to create a trusting relationship- Positive changes will follow

• Emphasize friendship over performance

3. Have Fun Together

• Many of the youth have few opportunities for fun

• Simplistic activities

• Introduce them to new experiences

4. Give Mentee Voice and Choice in Deciding Activities

• Let them partner in deciding what the two of you do

• Helps with decision making skills

• They may not be involved at first

• Set clear limits about the amount of money you spend

SEX, POLICTICS & RELIGION

5. Be Positive

• Develop self-esteem and self-confidence

• Be encouraging

• Be yourself- Don’t be fake positive

6. Let the Mentee Control What the Two of you Talk About

• Listening and talking are at the heart of the relationship

• Respect limits

• Don’t push mentee to discuss personal matters

• Some open up quickly and others take time

7. Listen

• Let the mentee talk

• They have a voice that needs to be heard

• Friends listen

• Listening offers emotional support

8. Respect the Trust Your Mentee Places in You

• Be supportive and do not lecture

• Give any advice with a grain of salt

• Sound like a friend, not a parent

• Reassure mentee that you are there for them

• Keep your word

9. Remember that Your Relationship is with the Youth- No One Else

• Do not get involved in family issues

• Do not be judgmental

• Show empathy and support

• Primary focus is on the youth

10. Remember you are Responsible for Building the Relationship

• Be careful not to rush it

• They may be resistant and shy at first- Give it time

• Some may not trust the adults in their life and are testing you

• Maintain contact- Be consistent