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In This Issue... January 2011

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4 The Felt Bird

8 Kritik Uber Den Film! : Eclipse

10 Roller Derby Girls Kick Ass

15 Uncensored Artist: Lindsay Larremore

18 Music Scene: Samantha Crain and Ali Harter

Published byPublisher- Frank BakerManaging Editor- Amber Baileyemail: acurtis@eaglemkt.comCreative Director: Amber BaileyMarketing Coordinator: Lynne BenkendorfSales Representative:Cathy Nulph 580-548-8146

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“We are a gift and accessories boutique,” owner Estela Romanos clarifies.

The Felt Bird carries housewares, jewelry, stationery, and some apparel. Of course, that’s not the whole story.

True to the Uncensored ideal, The Felt Bird presents Enid with an alternative to factory produced merchandise with their own selection of personal, uncommon, sometimes quirky, and always special gift ideas.

“We’re bright. We’re eclectic. We’re crazy!”

That’s the way Estela describes The Felt Bird. She keeps that description in mind when selecting items for sale in The Felt Bird, explaining, “We are looking for quality, originality, functionality, strong design elements, and just what fits in with the store. You can tell if it fits in the store.”

MostÊp eopleÊd onÕ tÊ knowÊwh atÊt oÊe xpectÊf romÊT heÊF eltÊB ird.ÊSomeÊp eopleÊc ouldnÕ tÊt ellÊy ouÊe xactlyÊwh atÊt heyÊa re.Ê

AÊp etÊs tore?Ê FabricÊs hop?

The Fe

lt Bird

EclecticÊ&ÊH andmadeBy Eric Castillo Photos by Cameron Kaiser

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EclecticÊ&ÊH andmadeand activities to encourage people to enjoy downtown. Since then, The Felt Bird has become a staple venue for live music every First Friday of the month.

To add on to the success of their opening, The Felt Bird received two

awards from the Enid News & Eagle for Best Gift Shop and for New Business for 2010. Over a year later they are still building on their continued success with the launch of an online store. You can visit the E-store (thefeltbird.storenvy.com).

Whether online or in the store, Estela and Riley are excited about the opportunity to share their passion for handmade with others. Estela explains how both she and Riley love to share their unique crafts and their love for making things personal and one-of-a-kind, saying, “Handmade is our life. We

It’s true. Walking into the shop, it’s clear that the items for sale are as special as the custom pegboard and coat racks they’re displayed on, built mostly by co-owner Riley Jantzen.

That’s another signature of The Felt Bird; they don’t just sell handmade but they are handmade. To prepare for their official opening, both Riley and Estela put in long workdays under the shadow of the Broadway Tower, completing a top-to-bottom renovation of 124 E. Broadway Avenue. Even more impressive is the fact they renovated their little corner of downtown in just a week and a half.

They officially opened on September 4, 2009, just in time to celebrate on a First Friday, when downtown Enid businesses stay open late with live music

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make so much in our life, it’s nice to be able to bring it into our second home here in the shop.”

One example of how Estela’s handiwork has made it into The Felt Bird also explains where their name originates. While Estela was attending Oklahoma State University in Stillwater to study fashion design she had been losing her passion for creating and making things and it was there that she met Riley who encouraged her to pick up sewing again. This helped reignite her passion and love for creating homemade crafts. She decided to create small hand-sized birds fashioned from felt to decorate all over her apartment. These “felt birds” became a huge hit with her friends who encouraged her to find ways to sell her homemade creations. Through research she discovered there was already a growing number of people creating and selling their personal crafts through boutiques and online through outlets like Etsy.

Ò IÊh adÊn oÊi deaÊt hatÊt hereÊwasÊt hisÊb igÊh andmadeÊrevolutionÊ goingÊon .ÊS oÊI ÊstartedÊlo okingÊi ntoÊh owÊpeopleÊc ouldÊs ellÊt heirÊ

workÊi nÊs tores.Ó

Through further networking, Estela found boutiques in Tulsa and Oklahoma City selling unique merchandise and encouraging alternatives to factory produced goods.

She decided to bring that kind of store back to her hometown of Enid and through a lot of hard work and planning, Estela and Riley were able to bring their own sense of quirkiness to Enid, naming their unique shop The Felt Bird, paying tribute to the small birds fashioned from fabric that started it all. E

THE MAKING OF GOODNIGHT, SAIGONBy Lana Billings, Owner of Lana’s School of Dance Photos by Rachel Hancock

In 1999 Lana’s School of Dance was getting ready for their annual production. Our theme that year was “THE COST OF LASTING PEACE”. We were going to honor all branches of the armed forces.

I was looking for a dance that our advanced ballet class could do when I stumbled across Billy Joel’s “Goodnight, Saigon”. It was a song that was real and hard hitting. I knew the choreography had to be real and hard hitting also or it wouldn’t work. I didn’t want to disrespect our troops that fought so bravely in such a controversial war.

That’s when I contacted my good friend Dave McCoy who was wounded in Vietnam. I knew he would be straight with me whether I should even attempt this or just let it go.

One evening I took the CD over to his house and played it for him. He listened and before it was over had tears running down his face. He looked at me and said, “What’s your vision?”

So we sat up most of the night listening to the lyrics. We laughed and cried as he told me stories of Vietnam. Stories of war.

I went to work on my “vision”. I was working with high school students who weren’t even born yet during the Vietnam War. I showed them films of the war and explained the love hate relationship the soldiers had with the choppers. They hated the sound when the choppers were taking them into battle and loved the sound when they heard them coming to get them out of the hell they were in. I wanted the girls to dance from their heart.

With any creative process, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. This worked.

Our dancers have performed this at Veterans Day Activities, in front of the Vietnam Traveling Wall, and recently at the Veterans Legacy Ball where they were awarded the Mayor’s Choice Award.

It’s a dance of survival and camaraderie. “We would all go down together”.

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THE MAKING OF GOODNIGHT, SAIGONBy Lana Billings, Owner of Lana’s School of Dance Photos by Rachel HancockBy Lana Billings, Owner of Lana’s School of Dance

In 1999 Lana’s School of Dance was getting ready for their annual production. Our theme that year was “THE COST OF LASTING PEACE”. We were going to honor all branches of the armed forces.

I was looking for a dance that our advanced ballet class could do when I stumbled across Billy Joel’s “Goodnight, Saigon”. It was a song that was real and hard hitting. I knew the choreography had to be real and hard hitting also or it wouldn’t work. I didn’t want to disrespect our troops that fought so bravely in such a controversial war.

That’s when I contacted my good friend Dave McCoy who was wounded in Vietnam. I knew he would be straight with me whether I should even attempt this or just let it go.

One evening I took the CD over to his house and played it for him. He listened and before it was over had tears running down his face. He looked at me and said, “What’s your vision?”

So we sat up most of the night listening to the lyrics. We laughed and cried as he told me stories of Vietnam. Stories of war.

I went to work on my “vision”. I was working with high school students who weren’t even born yet during the Vietnam War. I showed them films of the war and explained the love hate relationship the soldiers had with the choppers. They hated the sound when the choppers were taking them into battle and loved the sound when they heard them coming to get them out of the hell they were in. I wanted the girls to dance from their heart.

With any creative process, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. This worked.

Our dancers have performed this at Veterans Day Activities, in front of the Vietnam Traveling Wall, and recently at the Veterans Legacy Ball where they were awarded the Mayor’s Choice Award.

It’s a dance of survival and camaraderie. “We would all go down together”.

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ack in my home village of Titting, Bovaria, we have a saying that goes like this: “Das Leben ist wie ein Kinderhemd--kurz und beschissen.” It means “Life is like a child’s shirt– short and crappy.”

(I would have just said it in English, but it is so much more beautiful in German). That saying resonated with me whilst watching Bella attempt to solve the love triangle between her, Edward, and Jacob. It’s like a minor math problem for a girl who appears to have a major Meth problem. And as long as we’re judging people on appearances, let’s settle Bella’s indecisive streak that has spanned for the past three films right now. Nevermind that Jacob is caring, and Edward has all the charm of a creepy uncle that touches you inappropriately... Jacob is so fine, I’d climb him like a redwood... 1 Yet Bella betroths herself to the guy who looks like he’s doing chemotherapy.2

Kritik Über Den Film!:

Eclipse

Enough about who’s hot and who’s on meth, though. Let’s talk about plot (and no, I don’t mean the burial plot where acting came to die). Here goes: So a bunch of newborn vampires decide to wage war on the Cullens because some curly-haired lass wants Bella dead. In order to protect her, Edward and Jacob must work as a mannschaft (or as you Americans call it, ‘team’). Being on a

mannschaft is hard. And if anyone knows about being on a mannschaft, it’s me. I used to be the top half of Germany’s olympic luge.3

I’ve just been informed by my dog, Glenn, that the previous passage

came across as lewd and rude because my pooch’s a prude. It wasn’t my meaning for anything to sound hot and heavy, though I’m not surprised. German’s delicate words make it an international language of love, no matter what is being said.

Back to the film, the Cullens set a

By Jamie HildahoffenfefferPhotos By Rachel Hancock

“Watching the third installment of the Twilight saga takes a total eclipse of the brain.”

-Jamie Hildahoffenfeffer (Great insight based on a great song...

therefore true.).

“I’ve never seen that movie. Stop calling me.” -Nelson Mandela

B

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Enough about who’s hot and who’s on meth, though. Let’s talk about plot (and no, I don’t mean the burial plot where acting came to die). Here goes: So a bunch of newborn vampires decide to wage war on the Cullens because some curly-haired lass wants Bella dead. In order to protect her, Edward and Jacob must work as a mannschaft (or as you Americans call it, ‘team’). Being on a

mannschaft is hard. And if anyone knows about being on a mannschaft, it’s me. I used to be the top half of Germany’s olympic luge.3

I’ve just been informed by my dog, Glenn, that the previous passage

came across as lewd and rude because my pooch’s a prude. It wasn’t my meaning for anything to sound hot and heavy, though I’m not surprised. German’s delicate words make it an international language of love, no matter what is being said.

Back to the film, the Cullens set a

trap for the newborns in the woods along with the shirtless wolf pack. The most striking scene of the film is the army of newborn vampires rising from the lake on their way to battle. Uhm, what? New fear for the Hildahoffenfeffer. Now sharks are not the only jaws in the water... And just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, boom: Dakota Fanning. I fudging hate her.

Now, I know most film critics don’t say what happens at the end of the movie, but I will tell you.

I took three swigs from some expired eggnog and dozed off. But the dream I had… I mean, even Martin

Luther King would be jealous.

Bella was played by Jodie Foster, Jacob was played by Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid, and Edward was played by the late David Hasselhoff. It was just like the movie, except instead of newborn vampires, the Cullens and wolves faced off an all horse basketball team.

I woke up feeling like Stephenie Meyer could have benefited from some old eggnog while writing the Twilight books. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes your writing stronger. Re-read this review as proof. It’s spectacular.

THE HILDAHOFFENFEFFER WRAP-UP:

• I give this movie one star, and his name is Taylor Lautner.

• I give the rest of the cast three suns. Those pasty people need a tan.

FOOTNOTES:Footnote 1: I suppose I just came out of the Kleiderschrank. Surprise! Footnote 2: I can joke about cancer because it’s my astrological sign. Footnote 3: We came in last since my partner is paralyzed from the waist down. Oh, well. You win some, you luge some.

Jamie Hildahoffenfeffer is played by Jamie Hildabrand. Watch him play other beloved Germans on www.youtube.com/jhildabrand

his name is Taylor Lautner. his name is Taylor Lautner. his name is Taylor Lautner.

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They run in packs. They aren’t afraid to get a little roughed up. They’re fast. They mean business.

They are the Enid Roller Girls.

Roller Derby Girls Kick AssBy Bridget NashPhotos by Dawn Muncy of Muncy Photography and Rachel Hancock

In this Photo: Cristina Romanos

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oller derby is taking over the nation and the Enid Roller Girls are aiming to make a name for themselves. With 12 skaters so far, the Enid Roller Girls are looking for more women to join their league as they continue to better themselves and are working to become part of the Women Flat Track Derby Association, a national roller derby association.

“It’s a full contact sport,” said Jamie Garen, also known by her derby name: Jme Jawbreaker. Garen acts as co-captain along with Adriene “Coffey Grinder” Coffey.

The object of the game? A skater in the position of “jammer” must make it through a pack of “blockers” and lap them as they travel around an oval track. The blockers, of course, must try to block the jammer from getting through. The skaters wear a helmet, mouth guard, wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads and quad roller skates.

“It’s very full contact,” said Garen. Of course, not everything goes.“There are legal blocks and illegal

blocks,” said Garen.Skaters who break the rules are sent

to the penalty box.The Enid Roller Girls are starting

their league with the help of the Victory Dolls, a league in Oklahoma City.

“They are our sister league,” said Garen.

The Victory Dolls are a WFTDA league.

“We want to eventually be WFTDA so they are taking us under their wing,” said Garen.

One member of the Victory Dolls is Cristina Romanos, formerly of Enid.

“There are three leagues in the city,” said Romanos. “Oklahoma Victory Dolls Roller Derby, Oklahoma City Roller Derby and Outwest Outlaws, a banked track (rather than flat track) league.”

Romanos was initially exposed to roller derby first hand while living in Texas.

“Seeing girls with fun rollergirl names, knocking each other down while on skates was crazy and awesome to me,” said Romanos.

Right now the Enid Roller Girls are looking for a permanent place to practice so they can have regular games, called “bouts.”

The Enid Roller Girls

oller derby is taking over the nation and the Enid Roller Girls are R

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“We won’t bout regularly until the end of 2011 or 2012,” said Garen.

All that is needed for the Enid Roller Girls to practice is a flat surface.

“As long as you show up to practice, we can teach anybody how to derby,” said Garen.

“Anytime someone is having a hard time, I give them some encouraging words and tell them they are doing an awesome job because I have totally been there. When you haven’t skated since like elementary or junior high, you can’t expect to come in and be roller derby queen of the world, you know?” said Romanos.

Those who participate in roller derby have found that it is just what they need for a little escape from everyday life.

Garen said it’s easy for people to lose themselves in their day-to-day routine.

“You get involved in taking care of everybody else and you forget what it’s like to be you.”

Whether you are just practicing or actually bouting, roller derby is a couple

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The Enid Roller Girls

The OKC Victory Dolls

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of hours just being yourself, getting exercise and having fun.

“With all the adrenaline that comes with the first blow of the jam whistle, whether I’m on the

track for that jam or not, the nerves go away, ” said Romanos. “Not only are we representing our

league,but also our city, our state. So when we go out on the track, we go with guns-a-blazing.”

“It’s a real do-it-yourself sport,” said Garen.

But it’s also more than that.“It has become like a family,” said

Garen. “We all kind of have our own part that we do.”

The sport is also family friendly and Garen said husbands often get involved as referees or officials. Spectators of all ages can attend bouts, and there is even a rule that skaters cannot use harsh language

and will be penalized for doing so.“Leagues always need dedicated

volunteers, skaters and officials that love the sport,” said Romanos. “There are not many things (outside of college) that could expose you to so many different people and have this kind of experience.”

The Enid Roller Girls practice each Sunday at 4 p.m. and are looking for more women to join the league.

“For the most part, we’re just normal people,” said Garen. Currently the Enid Roller Girls have a variety of different women in the league including a teacher, a childcare provider, a stay-at-home mom, a business professional and others.

The sport is a quickly growing phenomenon. Romanos said flat track roller derby in particular has grown from one league in 2001 to more than 300 leagues around the world today.

Anyone who is interested in joining the Enid Roller Girls can send an email to enidrollergirls@yahoo.com.

The Enid Roller Girls

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fter earning a degree in interior design from Oklahoma State University in 2006 and traveling abroad, Tulsa native Lindsay Larremore realized that she couldn’t ignore her true passion: oil painting. So she returned to OSU to work on a bachelor’s degree in studio art, which she is scheduled to complete in the spring of 2011.

When not busy with school, she works at Dog Dish, a specialty boutique in Tulsa selling upper end food, clothes, toys and home accessories for canines. But most of her time is spent learning

about and creating art. “This time in school is truly a gift,” she says. “I have always known that art is my thing.”

Q. Describe your art.A. My art is about security and

surveillance. I am currently investigating the concept of always being watched. Through a series of paintings on round shaped wood, I depict myself living alone in my apartment doing everyday tasks. The peephole or camera lens shapes of my paintings are metaphorical for an all-

fter earning a degree in interior about and creating art. “This time in

Uncensored Artist: Lindsay Larremore

A

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seeing eye. I want the viewer to question whether they should be looking in on this individual.

Q. Why did you choose to pursue this theme?

A. As far as the meaning of it, I am honestly learning more about it as I go. My professor told me one time that it’s okay not to understand your work until later. That seems to be what is happening. At first, my paintings were more about mundane routines and how our private lives might look ridiculous when caught in awkward moments. But now I am discovering that since these are self-portraits — and obviously all female — I feel like I have landed on a new meaning. I live by myself, and there are times when I don’t feel safe. I don’t think these paintings would be as compelling if they were of a man living by himself.

Q. What are prime sources of inspiration for you?

A. I am inspired by my love of art

and the challenge of creating something new for viewers to look at or think about. Artists that I have an affinity for are Patrick Jacobs, Olga Antonova and Sanell Aggenbach, among others.

Q. Describe your most rewarding art experience so far.

A. I have been blessed to receive some awards and scholarships, but I would have to say my most rewarding experience was when I entered my first juried art show (Oklahoma Visual Arts Coalition’s Momentum OKC 2010) where I won an honorable mention. It really gave me more confidence as an emerging artist and hope that I could do well in the future.

Q. What’s your advice to other artists?

A. Just keep trying. The answer is always no until you try. Keep making work and keep submitting proposals for shows and exhibits.

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Q. Do you have a message for patrons of the arts?

A. Every artist has a main message or concept that they want to share. Even though you may not personally like a work of art, try to be open and at least hear the artist out. Sometimes when you learn about the concept of the art, you can appreciate it more. Whether you are an art lover or not, take the time to open yourself up to a new experience when viewing art… you might learn something new. E

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The two have quite a few traits in common. They both have small-town roots in Central Oklahoma. They both have soulful vocals and an indie sound. Each of their musical journeys is an extension of their nomadic lifestyles, producing some excellent music as they roam across the United States and further. They are also both top-notch female musicians in a sometimes male-dominant genre and that makes these kick-ass girls perfect for our Uncensored readers.

“I will say to girls playing guitar… I’ve realized that you have to be twice as good as the guys to hold your own and

people to take you serious.”-Samantha Crain

That’s what years of traveling and writing music have taught 24-year-old Samantha Crain. She began writing music in 2004 and debuted her first works on a CD titled The Confiscation EP: A Musical Novella in 2007. Since then, Samantha has been on a journey to get her music out all over the country – or it might be more accurate to say that Samantha’s music has been pushing her all over the United States.

“Music actually was something I got more involved in because I was wanting to travel. I knew to travel as much as I wanted to I would need a way to support myself and music became that way.”

Music has sent Samantha on a winding journey around the United States that originated in the little town of Shawnee, Oklahoma. It was in response

Like gypsies armed with folk guitars and roots in Oklahoma soil, musicians Samantha Crain and Ali Harter are spreading their own

brand of “frontier” and “roots” music everywhere they travel.

The Mus i c Sc ene: Samantha Crain and Ali Harter

Story by Eric CastilloPhoto by Samantha Lamb

Samantha Crain

to the so-so pace of life of a typical, small, Midwest town that Samantha started to become somewhat erratic and a daydreamer, constantly contemplating big ideas. This eventually shaped her into something of a wanderer, with a love for traveling and seeing new places. It was that drive and attitude that eventually led her to the life of a touring singer/songwriter.

She says her nomadic lifestyle has become inseparable from her love for songwriting. It’s almost unclear which came first, the desire to get out of her little hometown or a love for making music but what is clear is that the result of her journey out of Shawnee to create music has produced some rich sounds and excellent records. She has since followed up her Novella EP with her first LP titled Songs in the Night released in 2009 and most recently with her CD called You (Understood) this past June.

She calls her music “frontier rock”

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The Mus i c Sc ene: Samantha Crain and Ali Harter

to the so-so pace of life of a typical, small, Midwest town that Samantha started to become somewhat erratic and a daydreamer, constantly contemplating big ideas. This eventually shaped her into something of a wanderer, with a love for traveling and seeing new places. It was that drive and attitude that eventually led her to the life of a touring singer/songwriter.

She says her nomadic lifestyle has become inseparable from her love for songwriting. It’s almost unclear which came first, the desire to get out of her little hometown or a love for making music but what is clear is that the result of her journey out of Shawnee to create music has produced some rich sounds and excellent records. She has since followed up her Novella EP with her first LP titled Songs in the Night released in 2009 and most recently with her CD called You (Understood) this past June.

She calls her music “frontier rock”

and likens it to her own experience with Oklahoma, calling it “beyond the boundaries set up by society.” Following that analogy and listening to her music, you can hear that Samantha’s musical boundaries are first established with the foundation of folk guitar and then the boundaries are pushed a little further with the addition of folk and blues instrumentation. Adding an additional layer of interest is Samantha’s soulful voice that contributes a signature indie vibe. Overall she describes her music as “not experimental and still accessible but just outside of being totally familiar” and, just like Oklahoma, it’s “still a little wild and undiscovered.”

“I’m born and raised Oklahoma, and proud of it. I’ve lived

around a couple places, but landed in Choctaw.”

-Ali Harter

Photo by Michael Cooper. Find more of his work at cooperphotog.com! Ali Harter

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Ali Harter definitely knows where her roots are and has used them to branch out into the far reaches of music. Like Samantha, Ali grew up in a small Oklahoma town just playing the guitar and has developed it into a very successful career. She released her first record Worry The Bone in 2007 and from that was able to tour both all over the United States and also throughout Europe including France, Belgium, Italy, and Switzerland. In March of 2009, Ali had two of her songs aired on ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy, giving her widespread exposure ahead of her 2010 release titled No Bees, No Honey.

For all of her far-reaching success, Ali has a deep understanding and appreciation for the influential origins of her music. She explains that jazz, soul, and country contribute to her own sound, which she describes as “roots music” as she tries to emulate some of the “beginnings of good music.”

Ali adds to this great foundation of roots music with a soulful voice full of character, blending a rockstar rasp with the soft subtleties of jazz and blues vocalists. “I’ve always kind of sounded like this. I’m sure the musicians that I love have shaped my sound originally, but I think the years of playing and being on the road really turned me into who I’m going to be.”

Ali’s voice isn’t the only thing that has been shaped by time on the road. For her 26 years of age, she’s developed a strong, mature attitude on her take on life as a musician.

“I have always loved the idea of being a musician. Then

I decided to do it. Then a few people told me I could sing, so I knew I wasn’t wasting my time. Then you start gigging because that’s just a part of it, then people start paying, then you drop out of college and realize you aren’t good at anything else anymore.”

Ali’s attitude may sound road-weary but Samantha Crain reassures that both she and Ali are strong and tenacious, allied in their unity as formidable and determined musicians explaining, “Ali and I are kindred spirits. We truly understand each other because we’ve worked so hard on the business and craft aspect of our careers. We’ve become road warriors and do what we do because we are nomadic souls.”

Overall, this pair of musicians has proven that Oklahoma is a great starting point for a journey of great musicianship and these girls are proving they’ve got the tenacity to make it happen. E

Photo by Samantha LambSamantha Crain

JANUARY HAPPENINGS7th Uncensored Girlie Party at the Felt Bird 6-9pm. Live music by Samantha

Crain, Ali Harter and Black Canyon

Beneath The Surface & More playing at the InBetween 6:30 pm

Enid Farm Show will be on January 7 -8, 2011. For more information

visit their website www.knid.com.

First Friday Downtown Enid

8th 4th Order playing at Sharkey’s at 9:30 pm

11th PFLAG Enid Meeting at 6:00 pm at the Public Library of Enid &

Garfield County

19th This Romantic Tragedy & Mozart Season at the InBetween at 6:30 p

20th NWOSU Enid hosts Welcome Back Soup Supper from 11:30am to 2:00 pm.

21st Illuminate 2011 Girlfriends Conference at 7:00 pm (Jan 21 - Jan 22) at

Enid First Assembly Family Life Center

25th Catalepsy, Suspect Terror & More at the InBetween at 6:30 pm

To find out about events for non-publication months, check us out on facebook!

www.facebook.com/uncensoredmagazine

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JANUARY HAPPENINGS7th Uncensored Girlie Party at the Felt Bird 6-9pm. Live music by Samantha

Crain, Ali Harter and Black Canyon

Beneath The Surface & More playing at the InBetween 6:30 pm

Enid Farm Show will be on January 7 -8, 2011. For more information

visit their website www.knid.com.

First Friday Downtown Enid

8th 4th Order playing at Sharkey’s at 9:30 pm

11th PFLAG Enid Meeting at 6:00 pm at the Public Library of Enid &

Garfield County

19th This Romantic Tragedy & Mozart Season at the InBetween at 6:30 p

20th NWOSU Enid hosts Welcome Back Soup Supper from 11:30am to 2:00 pm.

21st Illuminate 2011 Girlfriends Conference at 7:00 pm (Jan 21 - Jan 22) at

Enid First Assembly Family Life Center

25th Catalepsy, Suspect Terror & More at the InBetween at 6:30 pm

To find out about events for non-publication months, check us out on facebook!

www.facebook.com/uncensoredmagazine

december2010.indd 21 12/21/10 7:33 PM

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1. CapricornLet’s start with the good news: you’re not ugly. And now to the very, very bad news. This new year is all about two words: dissa

pointments. From the very public vomiting at work in April to the loss of the love of your life (even if you have yet to meet him, her, or it). They will lose their battle with Cancer: The sign, not the disease.

2. AquariusLife seems to be pulling you in a bunch of different directions. On the one hand you want to move to the Philippines and try

your hand at breeding ponies. On the other hand, you’re not even sure there are ponies in the Philippines.

3. PiscesIt’s official: every year you look more and more like Liza Minnelli. I know that’s upsetting, which is why I have compiled some tips

for you to get on the fast track to feeling attractive. More cardio, and less cabaret. And if possible, cut down the boozing to five nights a week. Life is not a Cabernet.

4. AriesGuess what? This is the year you’re winning the lottery. Mazel Tov! Downside: You’ll lose it all gambling on

America’s favorite pastime: pigeon racing. Ask my old school chum, Mike Tyson. Aside from his face tattoo and taking a bite out of boxing, watching those filthy rats fly is his greatest triumph.

Dr. Jamie Hildabrandburgstein offers expert horoscoping, drawing from his experience as an astrographer, life coach, and part time gynecologist.

Turn ons: A nice smile, and a bountiful bum.

Turn offs: Paisley

winning the

very, very bad news. which is why I have

Jamie Hildabrandburgstein is played by Jamie Hildabrand. See more of his work online: youtube.com/jhildabrand

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Dr. Jamie Hildabrandburgstein offers expert horoscoping, drawing from his experience as an astrographer, life coach, and part time gynecologist.

Turn ons: A nice smile, and a bountiful bum.

Turn offs: Paisley

9. VirgoYour rotten heart is the reason others despise you. It’s true. I’ve talked to those people. There was a poll. (You don’t want to know the

percentage). All of those very same people, however, are jealous of the length of your arms. Not too long, not too short... And they have a marionette quality. Spring fashion tip: sleeveless tank tops.

10. LibraThe rumors are true... You’re pregnant. And if you’re a man, all I can say is “wowza... That’s gonna hurt.” (On the plus side, you’ll be the

only papa in town with a coslopus). And for all you ladies carrying it the old fashion way (in the womb, or clandestinely at a convent to later raise it as a much younger sibling), the baby will be adorable.

11. ScorpioAn epiphany comes in March when the phrase, “It just hit me,” takes on a literal meaning for you by way of a Dodge

Neon. Sure, one of your ribs will be just floating between your lungs now, but the insurance money will help you finally afford nice clothes, and occasional visits to your Gemini friend in Albuquerque.

12. SagittariusYou’re feeling bold, beautiful, and ready for barbecue. And why shouldn’t you? You’ve lost the holiday weight, the Prozac

is doing wonders for you, and that cold sore on your lip is hardly noticeable now. Be weary of your need to please, though. You live for validation from others (except from Virgos... Damn their brown auras and elegant long arms).

5. TaurusTake on to Twitter to turn flirtation into true love. It’s tweet review time: Read over everything your crush has twit in the past few

months to know their innermost thoughts. Find out where they live, and show up. Find an open window... literally. If one is cracked open, crawl in. After all, home is where the heart is.

6. GeminiYou’re moving to Albuquerque. I know, it sucks. Now that the shock has passed, let’s talk about carry-ons. Don’t pack too

much since you’re taking an incredible amount of emotional baggage. Don’t be too bummed. I mean, what are you really leaving behind? Drunk friends, debts, and that guy in the Grand-Am that cuts you off every morning.

7. CancerRemember that guy you killed? Well, police have found the body. Should have listened to grandma’s old saying:

“A body tossed at a bay washes up, not away. But a body poured in cement grants you time to repent.” And bond won’t be easy to pay... Your ex wasted all your money on a wild pigeon chase with an ear eater.

8. LeoLots of change is coming your way, fast! And no, I don’t mean a repeat of that incident of the angry Salvation Army bell

ringer outside of the mall. I’m talking life altering change. You know that relative you love that always dotes on you? Good news: They’re dying. #RIP #$=(:

An epiphany comes

You’re pregnant. And if

Your rotten heart is the

was a poll. (You don’t want to know the

You’re moving to Albuquerque. I know,

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Party Pics: The NOC Halloween Party

Jordan Harshman, Kasee Patterson Lucas Barry, Kaylyn Pulley

Jeremy McCormick, Bailee Lynch, Johnna Schooley

Deanna Fowler, Britni Knight Lovell Cook and Rachel Hancock

Markeith Cungious,Mathew Guilty, Spencer Smith

Morgan Bloyed, Karlie Reed

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1. When there’s only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

4. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

5. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

6. Call out, “Group Hug!”and then enforce it.

7. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”

8. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, “I have new socks on”.

Fun Things To Doin an elevator

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