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Understanding & Dealing with
the Difficult & Disruptive –
YOU CAN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND…
- Bob Dylan, 1961
A LOOK AT CONDUCT DISORDERS
UNDERSOCIALIZED
AGGRESSIVE
UNDERSOCIALIZED
NON-AGGRESSIVE
SOCIALIZED
AGGRESSIVE
SOCIALIZED
NON-AGGRESSIVE
Do We Want to Understand Them?
3 MAJOR RISK FACTORS
BORN WITH DIFFICULT TEMPERAMENT
PARENT W/ MARGINAL DISCIPLINE & NUTURING SKILLS
PARENTS UNDER EXCESSIVE STRESS
Little more detail for those not ready to take a nap
Difficult temperament due to biochemical anomalies
< epinephrine
^ serotonin
< monamine oxidase
^ dopamine-beta- hydroxylase
POOR or No Parenting Skills
INCONSISTENCY
SPARE THE ROD….
WON’T STOP TIL YA HIT EM!
COERCIVE HYPOTHESIS
COERCIVE HYPOTHESIS OR
HOW TO RAISE A NON-COMPLIANT CHILD IN 5 EASY STEPS
1. PARENT ASKS KID TO DO SOMETHING
2. CHILD REFUSES
3. RISING WITH EMOTIONS PARENT REPEATS REQUEST
4. CHILD RESPONDS WITH ABRASIVE DEFIANCE
5. PARENT WITHDRAWS REQUEST TO AVOID UNPLEASANT CONFRONTATION
STRESS – INSIDE & OUT
SINGLE PARENTS
NO ASSISTANCE
NO RELIEF
MARITIAL DISCORD
LOW MARITIAL SATISFACTION = NEG. PERCEPTION OF KIDS
DEPRESSION or MOOD DISORDER
OPPOSITIONAL RISK FACTORS
1 OUT OF 3 = At-Risk
As At-Risk #’s > OD >
All 3 = Unavoidable
Why Have Conventional Approaches Failed???????
PUNISHMENT = < Chance of response recurring
FLAWED ASSUMPTIONS1. CONSIDERED CONSEQUENCES2. WEIGHED CHANCES3. DELIBERATLELY MISBEHAVED
HOWEVER… the OD CHILD’SNEGATIVE BEHAVIOR STEMS FROM:
An UNPREMEDITATED IMPULSE
OR
AN OVERWHELMING EMOTIONAL OUTBURST
IGNORING THE BEHAVIOR
REMOVE THE REWARD AND THE RESPONSE
WILL CEASE = EXTINCTION
PROBLEM IS …
MANY ARE NOT SEEKING ANYBODY’S ATTENTION
How about ‘REWARDS’ ???
RESPONSES AT A LOW RATE WILL > WITH A REWARD
FIXED INTERVAL REINFORCEMENT USUALLY WORKS
FALLS APART AFTER COUPLE OF DAYS
OD kid quits trying
learns not to invest in any behavior plan teacher attempts
HOW COME ???
I THOUGHT REWARDS WORKED WITH EVERYBODY?WELL, BECAUSE…
REWARD SYSTEMS ARE A CRUEL HOAX FOR SOME KIDS !
lack that level of controls
DISENGAGE FROM THE TEACHER
SMELLS CONTROL
CONFIRMS FAILURE
IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM
Power Struggles
Your “FAV” verbal defiance's
Some non-verbal active defiance's
Think about a challenging student
How do you typically react ?
So how is that working for you?
How would you like to start reacting to the kid or situation?
What is getting in the way?
WHAT DOES WORK?
Understand the 3 underlying motivations
LACK OF RESPECT
LACK OF BELONGING
LACK OF POWER or CONTROL
#1 ASSUMPTION
ALL BEHAVIOR IS GOAL DIRECTED
BEHAVIOR= an attempt to meet a NEED
THEREFORE… IT HAS MEANING
IDENTIFY THE NEEDS OF THE STUDENT
TEACH MORE APPROPRIATE WAYS
THEY DO IT FOR A REASON
IT AIN’T RANDOM BEHAVIOR
And … so do we!
Every action … has a reaction
Even a non-reaction…
is a reaction
Maintain in a low-stress level
Who are you?
EDUCATORS CHECKLISTTRUE 1 2 3 4 5 FALSE
Unless my students and the staff approve of me, it indicates I’m inadequate as an educator.
If I fail as a teacher, I fail in life.
A good teacher is respected by students and should never be challenged.
TRUE 1 2 3 4 5 FALSE
I can’t stand to have my class ‘out of control’.
Because things are not going well now, it indicates things are going to get worse.
Some of these students are just bad kids and the only way they’ll change is to suffer.
RATIONAL or LIFE-ENHANCING BELIEFS
“It would be nice if my staff & students approved of me, but if they don’t, I can still do a good job.”
“My skill as a teacher and my value as a person are two different things.”
“Having the student’s respect is nice, but not an absolute necessity. It’s uncomfortable to be challenged, but it’s happened before and I’ve survived.”
More Rational Thinking….
“It’s embarrassing and frustrating when my class gets out of control, but it’s not the end of the world.”
“Just because things are going well right now, doesn’t mean things will get worse. It’s more likely they’ll get better.”
“There’s no such thing as a rotten kid, only kids who ACT rottenly. A lot of kids misbehave but that doesn’t mean they should suffer.”
Attitudinal Therapy
Kid is being neutral to positive THEN…
You be positive and engaging (Give encouraging feedback & instruction)
If Kid is being negative or worse… THEN You be neutral and business-like (follow-through w/ pre-determined
consequences)
AVOID
Over reacting
Losing your temper
Being inconsistent
Creating “secondary gain”
Embarrassing the student
SEEK INSTEAD
An atmosphere of respect
Convey that you’re in
CONTROLLearning through consistency
Repetition of experience
Following a posted agenda
CHANGING YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE
REFRAMING: THE ART OF FINDING THE POSITIVE IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE NEGATIVE----
DISCOVERING THE SILVER LINING AND BUILDING ON IT.
SEEING IN A NEW LIGHT
Loses temper = ___________
Argumentative ____________
Defiant ____________
Non-compliant ____________
Annoying ____________
Blaming ____________
Touchy ____________
Resentful ____________
UNDERSTANDING CRISIS
ARE GROWING WHERE THEY ARE NOW
Must have confidence in your skills
Need security, support and tolerance
Need us to view problems as “helping cues” not disaster
STUDENTS IN Crisis
Seven Behavioral Accommodations
Reinforcers and ConsequencesReinforcement InventoryPersonal Prescriptions“Australia” – (grades K-12) JournalingThe Turtle Technique – (grades K-5)Strategic Seating –(The docile/hyper/hostile shuffle)Enlist Support of Class
BASIC DEFUSING SKILLS
LOOK AT THIS PHOTO…
AND JUST
CHILL
MORE DEFUSING SKILLS
P.E.P.
STANDS FOR:
PRIVACY
EYE-CONTACT
PROXIMITY
NON-VERBAL or in-direct P.E.P.’s
INDEX CARDS & POST- IT NOTES
CORRECTIVE OR APPRECIATIVE STATEMENTS
COLOR CARDS FOR SIGNALS
Pre-arranged, Non-confrontive signals for leaving room-
The Questions to open the RELATIONSHIP BOX
Do you know exactly who revolves in their daily orbit?
Do you understand their chief concerns?
Are you aware of their secret likes and dislikes?
Does each one have a secret passion that he doesn’t share with anyone else?
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
Understanding your students' world not only strengthens the teacher-pupil relationship
It can become the absolute difference between their success and failure
3 ways can you forge a better connection with your STUDENT instantly ...
1. “Walk and Talk” with THIS student as many times as you can.
2. Find ways to get THIS student to follow your directions quickly and quietly, the first time given. FOCUS ON THIS --- job# 1
3. Get closer to THIS student --- even if you are afraid to or don't feel like it.
How to contact me for In-services…
Full-day or ½ day
Cell # 918-381-7626
I apologize this is the only photo I have on my desktop…And besides …both Newt & Romney refused to pose with me.
ReferencesAzrin, N. H., & Besalel, V.A. (1980). How to use over-correction. Lawrence, KS:& H Enterprise.
Elliot, S.N., Racine, C. N., & Busse, R.T. (1995) Best practices in preschool social skills training Washington, DC: National Association of School Psychologists.
Frick, P.J., Lahey, B.B. Loeber, R., and Stouthamer-Loeber, M. (1992). Familial risk factors to oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 60, 49-55.
Glasser, W. (1965) Reality Therapy, a new approach to psychiatry. New York: Harper & Row.
Hall, R. V., & Hall, M.C. (1980) How to use planned ignoring. Austin, TX: Pro-Ed.
White, J. L., Moffitt, T.E., Earls F., Robins, L., & Silva, P.(1990) How early can we tell?
Predictors of childhood Behavior Disorders. Criminology, 28(4), 507-528.
