Pride Parade to follow nev route GAtSV Picnic wi l l be at Genesee Valley fark

AIDSWalk 1999

By Susan Jordan Rochesters 1999 Pride Parade will follow a new and more visibie route on July 17 f r om Brunswick Scbetween East and Park Avenues down Park and Goodman to Village Gate A cultural festival will take place at Viiiage Gate following the parade-This years parade theme is One Pride Many Voices The Parade and the GAGV Picnic at Genesee Valley Rirk on July 18 are the highlights of 1999s Pride Week bur many other events are also planned

Parade organizer the Greater Aochlaquoscer Gay and Lesbfan Baseshyness Forum (GRGLBF) states that the eventwill provide an opportushynity for all members ofour commushynity to join together in renewing and celebrating our commitment to making Rochester a city vhere all people regardless of sexual or i shyentadon or gender expression are treated with dignity and respect and can live free from fear

GRGLBF says that around 3500 took part in last years parade and neariy SOOO auended the festival Organizers Tim Rhoades and Gerry Mason who also lead the BassicaUy Treblemakers Band hint diat a surshyprise appearance by a newly formed Rochester group vi^l be a higNight this year The parade contmitcee wili hoid a special fundraising show at Muthers on July 11 More inforshymation abouc the Parade is avail able online at wwwgraquo)dnfocom

The parade coordinators have annouffKed that the Parade Grand tiarshals this year chosen as best representing the theme^One Pride

Many Voices will be the Greater Rochester Area Tournament (GREAT) The group was founded in 1987 to sponsor an international bowling tournament and to raise ^nds for Finger Lakes region AIDS organizations

The GAGV Picnic benefitting the Gay Aiiiance ofthe Genesee Valtey v^H take ptace as usual at die Roundshyhouse area of Genesee Valley Park from I to 6 p jn Vendors will be selling food and beverages and a DJ will play dance music all afternoon Buying a ticket wil l enter the purshychaser in the raffle drawing for a two-night hotel stay in Toronto compliments of Glen Sl^ny at Great Expectations Travel Services

The Picnic v^ich has drawn thoushysands of gays each year since the early 1970s is che Alliances biggest fundraiser ofthe year All proceeds go to supporting GAGV programs including the Strengthening Ourshyselves Program which ofFers supshyport groups and workshops and the Community Center which proshyvides a meeting place for more than two dozen communicy groups Tickshyets can be purchased in advance advance tickets are $S or $13 adshymission the day of che picnic is $8 o r $16 (the higher priced tickecs indude beverages) Tickets can be purchased ac area businesses and bars

Those who support the GAGV by buying a $ 100 Rainbow VIP Pass v^li receive two pride T-shirts two beverage tickets and two mugs one VIP parking space naxt co the Roundhouse instead of in the UR

Pmrad COHCUKMMI o n p B I S

AIDS Rochesters pledge walk raised over 130000 chis year For more coverage see Making the Scene page (4

Bviffalo Westchester to vote on gay s ordinances

By Suaan Jordan 6ufhkgt may soon add sexual or i shy

entation CO its anti-discnmination ordinance The proposal wenc co committee on June 24 and a vote is expected at any time

Trad i t iona l ly ^ conservadve Westchester County is also about to vote on an anti-dlscrtenination measure

Buflblo orpnizer Andy^ Garda sakd befteve we luye the votes to get It throughHe said t t m the proponJ to arawd the ordi^Mke wts initiated bythe Bfauck Leadershyship Fomm the NAACP and the New York Htepenk and Riend^

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Garda said TTha Ipfpsbdon we are fpkn^tiOf^^^

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Common Coundl co make it stronshyger WhaC ic means is thac people can go straight to any courC in Erie Councy and sue racher chan firsc filing a complaint with the NY Human Rights Commission chat takes you years before you gee any relief This will aJiow you to get ref ief immediateiy

Garda said that the proposal came about because there had been slaquoveraLlnlt^idents of racist violence and j^ybeshlr^ in t h Buflblo area ^ e haid a meeting with the Black Leadershlpl^yrumand the NAACP and r i n d been rwding about the stata^talttt ^o^rn^ bill thats in the jMMVHD JO we (Ot three lawyers and t ^ d r a f t e d the i^s la t ion and we dedded t o bring in the ^ y cuf f w nui my

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Utica papers distortion hauls down rainbow flags By Stt tan Jordan A June I artide in the Utica Ob-server-Onpotdi failsety dalmlffV that rali^gtow flags wotdd replace the Amerkan flag durins the U tke Gay fVide Pftrade on June 5 residtttd in a dedsion no i to display the rsdn-bowf lagatal l

The ardde tsay PrMe Pttrade aimsfor tolenraquoieeby Oiane Vyenafh-ir^poht stated in l is flntperefraph thac tberadwMceandUue woidd be l ^ p b c o d by the tyniboi of tf ie f i y commuMy along the route fer

Vp the Pride Pvade

A flrescorm of proeast erupted causing Mayor Cdward A H a r m to say that he wouM never take down the American flaf for any reason and that In future no other flag wW be f l owed to fly In Utka

Sheiie DfrazlOt chair of tfie (^ f

Olmmwf tthfivtrh irm June 2 A a t the i aliipowfl^g nao npyer paen niaant t o repiaoa nia ^mansan aeip O I K marelyto flf belaquoUeicraquo owt^gp^at dai j^ ied t o hoW thrae laquo i ( t The colienlflbaa afraed nonetheless to keep tha ralnigtow fl^ off tha flagshy

poles DeFazio said The commit tec is In total agreement Hes (Hmna) done a lot for us and we dont want CO in any way Jeoparcftze his olflca o r cause concroveray

The xMip said i t h u the peaeast raipact for t h t A m w i d n flif

Tlw Oftiaiwf rMi|gtiiidi n n iTprtnf corracijon b n jiane 3t boclvaanto riei f tJNSS iupport fortha FHde h n o a d|pt no t bidtida an apology loTr o r van nfencioo orraquohow the nampaiaiar had dfetofted tfft faftie and diareby ciuaad problems for the giy rights cause

Steven K n ^ t t a member o f the Greater Utica Lambda Fellowship (GULF) which Is orpnizing the Pan rade wrota kva letter publishad on June 3 k l the OiisenlaquoepOiipaftch that the raibbowfl i t^repreaants not onty the ^varalqf of tiie ipiy conv-nMl i^laquo bu t t l ia wonderM cfivar-sity o f Ami r fc tn bullodacy^

GMfcfVlaquoaurarTlmDlt i ie idraquoid m a Juhe 2 article^ T h e poias can hoWthraafl i^Wanefverlntanded eo raplaca tha Amerkan flag just to add the rainbow fli^

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NewsFronts bull LOCAL ANO STATE

plans July events The MOCHA Project-Buffalo will sponsor a weekend of events this month to which Rochester resishydencs are cordially invited

On July 9 MOCHA Buffelo will hose a parcy ac Club 153 from 8 pm to 11 pm Admission is $5 ac the door and the evening will include dancing hors doeuvres and encertainment by Aysha Biack and friends

MOCHA will hold a picnic on July 10 at LaSalle Park pavilion on the waterfront from noon co 7 pm This evenc is free

O n Sunday July raquo M O C H A

^will sponsor a i^zz cru ise o n t h e

Miss Buffato Board ing is ac 630

pm Admiss ion is $ f 5 in advance

only The boac leaves Erie Basin Marina at 7 pm and returns at 9 pm The boat dcket is good for free admission to an after-cruise parcy ac Ciub pound 393 EHicoct St Buffalo

For more information on chese evencslaquo call 852-1142 All proshyceeds will benefit MOCHA Bufshyfelo The Men of Color Health Awareness Projecc in boch Rochshyescer and Buffelo is a noc-for-profic agency offeririg services and education co reduce che hazard of HIVAIDS and ocher sexually cransmitced diseases Co African American males and males of other racial minorities MOCHA-Rochester wii l host a series of evencs in August check the ad in chis issue and che Augusc ^ p t f Goset

Apuzzo leaves W h i t e Hmise for NGLTF post Qia Nattmud Gay and Lesbian larfcFbreas ( T i ^ T T ^ Polky Xn-t^tmte announced June 14 thac Virginia Apuzzo che Clincon Adminstrations highese ranidng lasbian official is resigning from her post at the VVhite House arKl v ^ accept a naw position at the Policy Institutes chink tank in New York Oty

Tha Pofcy kistltutes Virginia Apuzzo Chair for Leadership ki PUbttc Polky Is dte flrst endowed chair to be created by tha tlank t m k of tha National Gay and Lasbiaih Task Force Apuzzo wW

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Double standards In DC

Jr a m e s H o r m e l is n o w o u r A m b a s s a d o r t o Luxemlxgturg s ince P re s iden t

I C l i n t o n slyly t o o k a d v a n t a g e o f t h e l i t t l e -used recess a p p o i n t m e n t p r o c e d u r e

I t o n a m e H o r m e l t o t h e p o s t whi le C o n g r e s s was in recess last m o n t h

C l i n t o n s d e c i s i o n t o d o a n e n d - r u n a r o u n d t h e formal Sena t e a p p r o v a l hear ings

And thetes more Republican allies in the Tradidonal Values Coalidon have also made a big fuss over the past year about how the Gay Division ofthe San Francisco Public Library

came after almost a year of adamant self-nghteous blocking and rabid homophobic proshypaganda from thc Republican Party which claimed that Hormel wouid use his vast power to promote the Gay Agenda (presumably to theLuxembourgeois) According to the U asb-ington Blade^ both supporters and opponents of Hormel agtee that at least 60 senators would vote for the confirmation if Republican leadshyers allowed it to reach the floor (Remind you ofthe NYS gay rights bill)

One of che leaders in the conservative struggle to save dny Luxembourg from a queer US Ambassador was Sen James Inhofe (R-Okla) who compared Hormel a longdme Demoshycradc party acdvist and philanthropic heir to the Hormel meat fortune to Ku Klux Klan Grand Dragon (or Wizard or whatever it is) poundgtivid Duke

to which Hormel has contributed funds actushyally has books and materials dealing with the pornographic subject of gay and lesbian sexuality

The Coalidon sent copies of the librarys erode drawings by lesbian feminisrTeeCorinne (and you know how pom-mad those lesbian feminists are) to members of Congress who were no doubt suitably appalled except maybe for Bamey Frank and Jim Kolbe mdash although they probably would have preferred drawings ofguys

Never mind again that Hormel hadnt seshylected the materials himself Thc TradVals Coalidon said that he shouid have ptotesced

Apparendy being openly gay is vcry similar the inclusion of pornographic materiab^ and to wearing a white sheet over your head and ^erefare he s pardaJly responsible for the lynching Airic3j hxtienc2xvs Never mind that crime of not having censored gay sexuality in the Radical Right doesnt exacdy have a good record on civil rights and that in fact the Klan has a lot more in common widi the hardline right represented by Inhofe than with mild liberal types like Hormel

che San Francisco Pubiic Libraty So there The topper to this sotdid litde saga came on

June 14 when the news broke that aides in Inhofes office had downloaded so much porshynography from the Internet that che senators

Lets face it mdash reason and logic do not whole Uxpayer-funded computer syscem was operate in the wonderful worid of Ultra-Right Ultra-White Ultra-Half-Bright Ethnic and Sexual Cleansers Scmb those homo-seck-shulls right out of che fabric of society

Inhofe was so indignant at Clintons recess appoincmenc that hc vowed to take revenge by pucdng a hold on all of Clincons appointshyments inciuding that of Lawrence Summers to replace Robert Rubin as US Treasury Secreshytary

Within hours of Inhofes hissy-fit the US dollar dropped against the Japanese yen in international monetary markets financial ex-

blocked as dght as che Hormel appoinCmcnt Of course this was probably wholesome

clean all-American heterosexual pornograshyphy Just a few thousand harmless images of women being ded up and raped or something like that Boys will be boys And sutdy thc senator didnt know what was going on and never encountered any elements of this masshysive pom collecdon while idly sitting around in his office playing video games As a clean-living Christian he wouldnt have been at all interested anyway

Perhaps theres a fumre for Inhofe and perts say due to the feat tfiat tfiete will now be otfier elderiy consctvadves in Viagra commer-a long delay in appointing a new Tteasury cials aftet Bob Dole retires Meanwhile dieres Secretaiy a future for James Hormel in Luxembourg

T h e Empty Closet

Wed like to ask you to become GAGV members (see ad on next page) but ifyou just want a subscription use this forml

^ 1 year $15 ($23 Canadian $28 Intemashy

donal)

mdash] 2 year $20 ($35 Canadian $38 Intemashy

donal)

O Subscribe bull Renew

Name Addtess

A onc-ycat subcription indudes 11 issues Papers ate mailed in plain envdopes Retum to EC PRESS 179 Adanric Avenue Rochshyester NY 14607-1255

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F r o m ^ u r Readers

W e need t o do m o r e than march once a year

T o the Editor With thc end ofthe school sefnestcr and

the start of pride season upon us I finally have the chance to express my concern with the state of affairs ofthe queer community of college age Particularly in a city which boasts such venues and organizadons as queer and feminist^nui bookstores restaurants and gift shops as well as this pubiicadon and the ImageOut film festival it comes to my attenshytion that there is a serious lack of communitv involvement among our younger members The existence of queer campus organizashytions notwithstanding I must Cake issue with the silence 1 hear

In this increasingly capitalist and individushyalized society I fear that sexuaiitgt is becomshying marginalized even among those who use it as an idendfying chatacterisdc As we purshysue such scholarship as Rochesters universishyties have to offet academics and resume-building often manage to take precedence over the future of the GLBT community Somehow we manage to not only rationalize our lack of involvement in the commuruty that exists but we neglect to build one ofour own Wiiatever thc excuse among college age iesbians I find a general apathy towards notions of sisterhood camaraderie or even the idea that such a diing should exisc

As we take to heart thc sentiments of a nadon driven towards realizations of self-sufficiency it seems that often even the very desire for a community in w^hich to belong becomes a ludicrous sentiment co express It has be(Xraquomc unfashionable to express such a longing and as a result I find us setting our history and past sttiiggles aside settiing for less than equal rights and the relative ease of just getdng by I find many women on camshypuses taking fbr granted the choice to dace othet women In addition to leaving our potential community in the closet we are forsaidng and ignoring the fights fought by those who came before us In many ways I sec the gay rights movement growing old with ics founders and leaving our future to chance

Outgrowing visi l^ty over the last centuty gives up-and-coming lesbians today the unique (opportunity to identify with the Ius-

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tory ofour coriununi^ There is a responsibilshyity of thc alteadyHcStat^shed community to provide tole models arid fbrums for its youth The rat-race mentality of every woman for herself will not en t i r e the continuation of an active lesbian community The habits of this nation to be passive until tlisastet strikes do not alkviate thc indisctiminatc acts of violence and atrocity that still plague our people We must ptepare fot the fucure hand in hand regardless of age Our grandmothers mothshyers aunts sisters friends didnt have the op portunicy to bc out at the age of 1 9 mdash I cannot take it for granted diat I do have that chance As a coH^e age iesbian I urge others ofmy age to recognize thatthe existing stagnant campus environments do no jusdce to how far weVe come nor how far wc must go

Asjuly and our pride weekend approach us 1 hope that we can begin to breach thc gaps of age and self-absorption and bogin to interact on a more familial level Being GLBT is not merely about dating who you want dressing how you choose We have the opportunity finally to relate on an inter-generational level The opportunity to come out younger and y o u r ^ r It is time for us to take stock of the years and cake responsiblity for those to come I am afraid that mass visibility once or cwice a year is a licdc loo much like going to church solely on Christmas and Easter Wc all need co do a litde more

Emily Steinberg Rochester N Y

Gay man in pr ison asks for to lerance between gays

T o the Editor Wed be happy to take a look at any articles

youd like to send especially one about gays in prison Thats what Susan Jordan wrote in reply to my letter

It was just what I wanted to share with tfie readers of thc Etnpty Cioset true stories ahotit gays in prison Not that Im proud to say it but I felt with my being m prison in three different sutes for a total of 20 years ofmy life that as a gay person I could not only sharc a lot but also clear up many misconceptions about gay inmates in prison hopefiiUy in thc end promptshying more gays co reach out to a gay man or

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A Pubiicadon of the Gay Alliance o f the Genesee VaJJcy

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|ofti t h laquo PoBcy Insti tute staff as d ie f irst

hoMor o f the Apuzzo Chair on Sept 7 The move retmites Apuzzo w i t h an or^anlzatkMi s h served as Board leader and as Executive OirtctxM- in the 1970s and 1980s

T h e Apuzzo Chair is designed t o recogshynize feeders w i t h a distinguished record o f service on behatf o f the gay lesbian b l -sexuel and transgender (GLBT) communi-ties Du r i ng Apuzzos tenure at the Policy Inst i tute she wi l l serve as a senior move ment strategist w r i t e and lecture on a wide range o f Issues and steer several specific projects t o increase support fb r GUBT equality in both the pubiic and private secshyt o r Drawing on her experience in the W h i t e House and her many years of public service Apuzzo wi l l bnng activists policy makers and academics together t o develop new strategies and t o broaden support fo r GLBT equality A f te r Apuzzos tenure the Chair wi l l be awarded t o o ther dist inshyguished activists polit ical leaders scholars o r business leaders w h o have been cataysts fo r change on lgtehaif o f GLBT people

Virginia Apuzzo a native N e w Yorker is a long-t ime leader and innovator in the gay lesbian bisexual and transgender moveshyment A fo rmer educator and ex-nun Apuzzo held the posit ion of Assistant t o the President for Administrat ion and Manageshyment f r o m 1997-1999 making her the highshyest ranking openly gay official in the Adminshyistrat ion Pr ior to this Apuzzo served as Associate Deputy Secretary o f t he Depart shyment o f Labor She is fo rmer Commisshysioner o f t h e N e w York State Civil Service Commission and fo rmer President o f the State Depar tment o f Civil Service In 1980 as an openly gay lesbian delegate t o the Democrat ic National Convent ion Apuzzo co-authored the first gay and lesbian civil rights ptank o f a major political party

A s Execut ive D i r e c t o r o f N G L T F f r o m

1982-1986 A p u z z o tes t i f ied at t h e first

Congressional Hearings on AIDS and spearshyheaded the communitys response to HIV AIDS policy on the federal level In addition Apuzzo initiated the first national anti-vioshylence work in the gay rights movement and helped develop the concept and funding of the first anti-violence projects in San Franshycisco and New York Throughout the 1980s she was an advocate for a progressive and Inclusive HIV policy at the national and state level

-National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

Buf fa lo c o n t i n u e d from p I

mon Council President James Pitts (a Demo crat) adds the category of sexual orientashytion to the protected categories listed in the anti-discrimination ordinance It deshyfines sexual orientation as a per5ons actual o r perceived homosexuality hetshyerosexuality or bisexuaiity Any person violating the rights of an individual or group of individuals due l o their membership in one of the listed groups will be liable in a

cWil action and if the ordinance Is strer^th-ened before passage in criminal court as weH

Tim Sweeney of tbe Empire Scate Pride Agenda updated the E t i ^ Closit on the situation in Westchester where a bill to oudaw discrimination and create a Human i Rights Commission to handle discnmination complaints was postponed after heated pubshylic hearings The bill whteh was introduced in January by Andrea Stewart-Cousins (D-Yonkers) looked set to pass in early Marchi with the support of all nine Democrats and one or two Republicans on the 17-member county legislature Then anti-gay forces un-leasiied a disinformation campaign with adshyvertisements in local papers stating diat the new law Imposes a New Sexual Morality and promotes Homosexuality and Bisexuaishyity of Our Children A vote was postponed until summer

Sweeney said on June 17 The latest thing we know is that the Westchester Human Rights Coalition had a meeting last week-and called George Latimer head of the county legislature and said Whats going on W e need to move on this

Theyve amended the bill ori^nally put forward So now they need another public hearing on the amended bill which is tentashytively scheduled for the end of July

Sweeney said that this is the first time that county legislature Democrats have had a majority however small in a long time What were aiming for is to get more Republicans to vote This is a political footshyball The Conservative party says anyone who votes for it will never get their endorseshyment he said

Were working gtte rf hard continuing our postcard campaign and now a petition camshypaign too WeVe gathering more and more organizations to be part ofthe Human Rights Coalition Were also doing a lot of work w i t h un ions c lergy and businesses t o get

s u p p o r t stnd a g o o d t u r n o u t in July W e l l tgte

active in elections in supporting Democrats and Republicans who voted for the bilJ

The Pride Agenda has also hired the Rev Rusty Hesse an Episcopalian priest to help organize gay community support for the measure In March ESPA in conjunction with The Loft Westchesters gay and iesbian community center placed a quarter-page ad in the countys Gannett papers in response to the homophobic media attack by opposhynents The postcard campaign has already mailed around 100000 cards calling for supshyport

The Human Rights Coalition includes the American Jewish Committee the Bnai Brith Hispanic Advisory Board Jewish Women Intemational League of Women Voters of Westchester National Organization for Women NYS NAACP Westchester Divishysion National Association of Social Workers o f Wes tches te r Student Advocacy Westchester Black Womens Political Caushycus Westchester Coalition for L^ai Aborshytion and many other groups

bull L O G A L A N D STATE N E W S Many in the RcKhester gay communi ty

wou ld like t o see an ordinance mther dian a resolut ion protect ing LGBT civil rights here in Rochester Rochester a t to rney Ellen Yacknin commented Ci ty Counci l passed a human rights resoiut ion in 1994 but that was only a resolut ion no t an ordinance (wi th the force o f law) Even today I get calls f r o m people all over the city expressing concem because they feel theyre being discriminated against in terms o f sexual or ientat ion and are afraid t o come fo rward w i th the issue

I have t o say t o them guess wi iat no t only is there no state law protect ing gay rigiits theres no t even a city ordinance If the ci ty iias a resolut ion they should put teeth in to i t by making i t an ordinance

Episcopal Diocese e lec t ion is close gay candidate n o t chosen By T h o m a s Els ton On Saturday June 21 The Episcopal Diocese of Rochester met in Ebth to elect Jack McKelvey Assistant Bishop ofthe Diocese of Newark NJ as the seventh Bishop ofRochshyester

The bi-cameral convention of priests and lay delegates chose McKeWey on the fifth ballot f rom a field of five candidates that included a non-celibate gay priest Gene Robrnson Hstd Robinson been elected he wou ld have been the f irst openfy gay cleric t a lead a major Protestant denomination at the diocesan level

Although Gene Robinson didnt get elected his candidacy has caused a public relations sea change at the Episcopal Diocese of Rochshyester

Over the past couple of years the diocese has been less than successful in articulating its public positions on matters controversial to Rochesters ^ i t h community Its inarticulate fumbling during the Corpus Christi faith-holocaust surprised many Rochester Episcoshypalians and despite its open and affirming policies toward GLBTs women and the Eucharist some in the GLBT community feel that the Diocese has largely failed to offer Rochester a highly visible version of the Christian ethic divergent from that of The Powers That Be

This has now ciianged From the start Robinsons candidacy was developed thoughtshyfully and affirmed institutionally by the Diocshyesan establishment its own Episcopal Search

Commit tee Moreover Robinson and McKelvey emerged early on as the lead picks from the slate of five mdash leaving three iitghly qualified viable candidates (all straight white men) t o withdraw along the way until only McKehrey and Robinson were left

From the onset Robinson i ^d ti ie strong support of the conventions houies (the Order of Priests and the Order of Lay Persons) and won an algtsolute majority of the priests votes on the fourth ballot The fifdi Isallot however went to McKelvey by a margin of five votes out of 229 (71 clergy 158 laity) It was a race too close to call

In losing by such a small margin Robinsons candidacy iias enabled the conshyvention and the Diocese to send a strong message the majority of clergy in the Episshycopal Diocese of Rochester believe and affirm diat an out gay man in a committed same-sex relationship has the moral standshying to lead the diocese Almost iiaif of rank-and-file lay Episcopalians concur in that belief

I t is anticipated that Bishop-elect McKelvey a liberal voice from Newark N J the most pro-gay diocese in the US will provide Rochester with leadership senshysitive to GLBT-related issues

In researching reviewing non^nating and voting on Gene Robinsons candidacy the Episcopal Diocese of Rochester has d o n e nnuch t o send a cear rresftampge -wh ich m a n y in Roches te r s f ^ i th c o t n t n u n i t y have b e e n ^ ^ I t i n g t o h e a r mdash t h a t the C h u r c h ce lebra tes the G L B T life exper ie t t ce

Gay fashion execut ive slain by ex- lover in Batav ia John Badum of N e w Y o r k Ci ty a weal thy fashion executive was killed by his b ro ther -in-law ^ s o his ex- lover on May 30 in Batavia

Badum 46 was a mult imil l ionaire w h o w o r k e d in the fashion industry founding a line o f washable silk clothes called G o Silk He enabled his lover Hamid Ouhda o f Morocco t o mArry his sister in o rder t o get a greet card and stay in this country

Mrs Ouhda filed f o r an o rde r of p ro tec shytion on May 27 She was injured and Badum kil led on May 30 after wh ich Ouhda w h o i iad fled the scene was ki l led by jumping in to the path o f a minivan on Rt 33

-John F Bonfatt i The Buffah News

the Gay AUiance of the Genesee Valley M S M a i p m i l P lpoundVELS ^PLEilEMI CMBCK ONE)

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Q PhOanthropbt $500 Q StudcfU $20 annuaUy Q Otganization $50 annually Q Business $75 annually

Your confidential G A G V M e m b e r s h i p includes an Empty Closet

subscr ipt ion mailed t o your h o m e eleven times a year in a plain

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gtgt N A T i O N A L A N D i T i RNATSONAL NEWS

Onta r io m u s t reshydefine ^^spouse The Canadian Supreme Cour t ruled on May 20 diat the province of Ontario vioshylated Canadas national human rights ciiarshyter by denying same sex couples die legal definidon of spouse

Ti ie ruling will only affect gay couples in die province of Ontar io init i t sets a strong precedent for ultimately changing national spousal laws as well as employee benefit packages offered by private comshypanies according to Canadian gay rights activists US gay civil rights activists beshylieve diat the ruling is so strongly worded that i t may even further the s t r u ^ e for same sex couples rights in this country

The decision came in a case known as M V K involving a lesbian couple whose 10-year relationship ended in 1992 One of die partners went through standard legal channels to force the other woman to pay spousal support But since the provincial law regulating spousal support claims deshyfined spouse as either a married couple or an heterosexual common law couple the lesbian also asked the cour t t o decide whether this definition violated the fedshyeral human rights ciiarter which was

amended in 1996 t o indude sexual orientashytion The kgtwer cour t ruted that i t did and diat the parmer must pay supporc She in t u m appealed ti ie dedsion and was joined by the Ontario government

Although die t w o women seeded out of court Ontario continued to appeal the ruNng t o die Supreme Court wiiich agreed on May 20 diat the provinces definition of couple does indeed violate die Charter of Rights

-iCai Wright The Woshington Bkide

Cl in ton names H o r m e l ambassador avoids G O P block President Clinton took advantage of the Conshygressional recess on June 4 to appoint openly gay James Hormel as Ambassador to Luxemshybourg The recess appointment ends the yearshylong attempt by Religious Right groups and Senate Republicans t o block the appointment on the grounds that Hormel is gay

Clinton nominated Hormel a San Franshycisco businessman civic leader former diploshymat and longtime Democratic Party activist in 1997 The nomination was approved by the Senate Foreign Relations Committee last fall and had won the support of over 60 senators but had been stalled by Republicans led by Sen James Inhofe (R-Okla) Sen Bob Smith

(RNH) and Sen Tim Hutchinson (R^Arl^ Senate l ia jor i ty Leader Trent Locfc (R-Mss) re toed to let the nominaHon eo tn i t o a vote despite the backing by a majority o f senators

The Republkans w e n t t o great tangths t o justify their bias w i th Sea InheAi cemj^Hng i - iormd t o Ku Klux Kian Grand Wizard David Duke

-Human iUghts Campaign

Students charged w i th hate c r ime in Mass prep school Two students at a liassachusetts prep school were charged on June 2 with a iiate crime after another student told autiiorities tiiat t i ie two had carved die word homo into the back of a fellow student on May 27

The allfiged attack took piace in a dorm at die Northfield Mount Hermon School loshycated in westem Massachusetts just south of d ie Vermont state line The name of the victim was withheld by police The two accused attackers Jonathan Siiapiro 18 of Keene NH and Matthew Rogers 20 from Franklin Tenn apparendy targeted the stushydent because he was a fan of the British band Queen whose lead singer Freddy Mercury died o fA IDS in 1991 Shapiro and Rogers referred to Queen as agay band according to Police Chief David Hastings of Gill Mass

Rogers and Siiapiro were charged with assault and battery v^th a dangerous weapon^ assault with intent to maim and assault with intent to intimidate resulting in bodily iiarm Police listed the assault as a iiate crime The two pleaded not guilty and were released on bail They could be given a maximum senshytence of 25 years in jail

Chief Hastings told the Associated Press that the victim did not report the crime but

cooperated ytixh authorities after anoti ier student who may have witnessed the atshytack notified police Hraquot ings sakl that when iie saw dgte wounds they were t i i ree days o ld and sdll visible althotlaquoraquo^ dMy not require hospitaHzaoiOn t t i e I^Keers were four t o five kiciias h i ^ and ran aM tf ie w ^ across his beck H a n i n f i said

The AP reported that the student left dieacbooi and re t t imcd t o Msl iometown which was not identified There W M n o confirmation that tf ie student attacked was In fact gay

Rogers one of d ie alleged attackers iiad accepted an apppointment to the US Naval Academy A spokesperson for d ie Academy told AP that once the diarges had been verified the school would iiave to reconsider the appointment The prep school is also considering disciplinary acshytions against Shapiro and Rogers

-Lou ChiigtlgtaroJr The Weshingtoti Bhde

Nevada adopts gay civil r ights measure Nevada has passed a gay civil rights law becoming tiie 11 th state t o prohibit job discrimination The measure was approved by the state senate on May 20 by a vote of 13-8 and by the assembly on Apri l I by a vote of 30-10 and the Generai Assembly approved die amended version on May 22

The bill has a narrow focus applying only t o employment-related discriminashytion and exempts nonprofit organizations f rom its provisions The measure was signed into law by Republican Governor Kenny Guin on May 29 and wil l take effect on Oct I

Assemblyman David Parks (D-Las Veshygas) the only openly gay member of the Nevada llt^slature introduced the bill He

T H E E M P T Y C L O S E T

^3|SgtftW - Celebrating Gay in Rochester

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A5 tesdffed that i ie i iad suffered f rom gay-rablaquoad diycriminadon and that t o o many others do as wel i P9xt said that he had

beian fired as d i rec tor o f managwnent and b u d | t i C f o r t h e c ^ o f l a s V laquo c t t i n 1984 because o f his sexual or1ematkgtn and h r f cs fsels because d t y officais leared he w o u l d dte f r o m A1DSlaquo wfoicK w o u l d embarass tfae city (Rui ts is HIV negative) h r k s added that t he bUI wou ld aiso p ro t ac t hecaroaexuals f r om being fti^ be causa diey we re perceived as gay

Newula joins O ^ f o r r ^ Connect icut Hawaii Massachusetts Minnesota N e w HampsNre N e w Jersey Rtiode Island Ve rmon t jmd Wisconsin in p r o t e c t k ^ sexuai or ientat ion in d ie w o r l ^ c e

The Nevada measure is notable in t i ia t i t passed w i t h reiadve ease having been adopted the first year I t was introduced The N e w York State gay rights bifi Hke many others lias been held up for tiecades by rightwing forces w i th in the legislature hseff in Nevada wh i le rightwing groups w o r k e d t o oppose ^special rights f o r sodomites the opposit ion did not come f r o m Republican memlsers o f the state government

-Bill Roundy The Washington Bh4e IHuman Rights Campaign

Judge rules fo r SF gay benef i ts laws In t w o separate decisions on May 27 a federal judge in San Francisco struck d o w n challenges t o the citys benefit laws which we re made by Uni ted Airi ines and a litigashytion group connected t o the anti-gay Christian Coal i t ion

Gay civil rights at tomeys said that the rul ing by US Distr ict Cour t judge Claudia WiNcen sets a strong precedent fo r cities t o adopt domestic partnership laws reshy

quiring equal benefits for same sax couples One of t he decisions perlihtai San Franshy

cisco t o require companies doing btniness wi th the dqr t o offer domestic partner benshyefits eempt ing only airlines w h k h w o u M not have t o provide economic^ benaftts such as lgteaWt icfa and disability knurance and pensiona They wouk l hava t o offer non-economic benefits howeverraquo such as bereayement leave family medical l iave re shylocation compensation and free travel pr iv i-

Tha second deciskgtn rejects a claim by an elecirlcai contracting company that It should noc have t o comply w i th d ie domestic partshynership b w on die same grounds as daimed by the airlines namely that a federal statute regulatinf empkgtyee benefit plans appiies t o all companies not just airiine companies

The etectricai company in the second suit against San Franciscos 1996 Equal Benefits Ordinance was represented igty d ie Amer i shycan Center f o r Law and Justice a legal arm o f the Christian Coalit ion which argued t i iat d ie ordinance violates the rights of the elecshytrical companys owners w h o hold fundashymentalist Christian beiiefa

Wll idns dismissed the fatter case saying t i iat t i ie federal Employee Retirement Inshycome Security A c t (ERISA) does not apply t o companies o t i ie r t i ian airiines in die area of domestic partnership law n the United Airshylines dedsion she vtrote that the ERISA statute does no t forbid San Francisco f rom requiring airiines to provide non-economic domestic partner benefits She added diat United and other airiines failed t o prove they would suffer financially by providing domesshytic partner benefits t o employees and d iat San Francisco iias a val id interest in refusshying t o do iMjsinass w i th contractors w h o engage in what the city regards as discriminashytion

The American Center for Law and Justice

plans t o appeal the decision which tiMJy say l ^ i t im izes same sax refationships

bullLou Chibbaro j r I h t Wtahkiptm B h t M New Ytgttk Bkfdt News

Bush bkuned fo r defeat ofTexas hate cr imes measure Ti ie defeat o f the Texas hate crimes measure which was killed by state senate Reptrfgtlicans on May 14 is lieing laid at the feet o f Gov George W Bush

Dianne Hardy-Garcia executive di rector o f the Lesbian and Gay Rigiits Lobby o f Texas (LGRLT) commented Texas wi i l not to lershyate the terrorizat ion ofany group of dt izens r^ardless of Gov Bushs strategy t o w in tf ie Republkan primary in 2000

Rodney Ellis Democrat ic sponsor o f the bill in d ie senate said Tlieres no doubt in my mind ti iat its presidential politics

Bush is on record as saying that he view(s) all crimes as hate crimes and opposes speshycial rights for gay men and lesbians Hardy-Garcia daims d iat Bush specifically rejected a proposal advocates created which would have substituted language that summarized categories protected by the measure indudshying sexual orientat ion w i th a bfanket refershyence t o the categories defined in the federal iiate crimes statistics act

Hardy-Garcia said that the language was nieant to make the bill more acceptable t o the Republicans on the criminal justice commitshytee Half an hour before a sdieduled commitshytee vote the Republicans met wf th Bush and then rejected the compromise

Hardy-Garcia said that she feels Bushs motivation was a desire t o avoid angering right wing supporters nationally as he makes his bid fo r the Republican presidential nomishynation Republicans who supported the bill

when i t passed the Texas houae faced diadpfinary action -

The measure called d ie James Byrd Jr Hate Cr imes A c t t o remember A e A f r i shycan American man w h o was murt iared by whhie racists last year In Jasper TeKas wou ld have s t r e r ^ e n e d a 1997 hate c r i m laquo faw w h i d i provided no procecshytions for specific groups o r extra penalties for crimes motivated tyy bias Family memshybers o f James Byrd j r had met w i t h Bush t o urge ills approvaJ o f the bil l and they expressed their disappointment that l ie had no t i ieeded t i ie i r pleas judy Shepard modier o f Matthew Shepard called Bushs stand indefensible

-Riul Schindler Lesbkm amp Gay New Yotk

IRS denies tax -e x e m p t status t o Chr is t ian Coa l i t i on The Intemal Revenue Service iias denied the anti-gay Christian Coal i t ion status as a tax-exempt organization on the grounds t i iat the group is a political organization radier dian a religkgtus one

The decision was iiailed lgty activists Including the Reverend Barry W Lynn executive di rector o f Americans fo r the Separation o f Church and State vvho said i t s about time T i ie Christian Coali t ion is a iiardbali political machine t i iat iias been masquerading as a tax-exempt group The IRS has finally pulled off the mask This is a devastating lgtiow t o T V preacher Pat Robertsons political ambitions His crushysade t o polit icize Americas churches is now almost certain t o fail I f o r one say amen

-Americans Uni ted for Separation of Church and State

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terview John AcetOy Volunteer Recruiter for AIDS Vaccine Evaluation Unit at University of Rochester

B y S u s a n J o r d a n J o h n Aceto is Volunteer Rectuiter fbr tiic AIDS Vaccine Evaluation Unit (AVEU) at thc Unishyversity ofRochester He spoke with thc E t n ^ Ckset about the research study currendy undershyway at die U of R on a pardcular vaccine called AIDSVAX and die need for volunteers to parddpa te

Mos t local gays d o not have as much inforshymat ion alxgtut die vaccine studies as diey do aigtout Community fiealth Networic AIDS Rochestcr or Helping People with AIDS Yet the AIDS Vaccine Unit is part of ft crucial national effort which was igt^gtm in 1988 by the National Institute of Health to find a vaccine to prevent HIV infection as vaccines have done for poUo and smallpox

Along with a tack of information about this important local effort many people have quesshytions and fears about what volunteenng for thc study might involve Typical quesdons include concems about infection side effects trust and how thc smdy at tempts to reach its goals

E m p t y Close t C o u l d y o u g ive u s a l i tde b a c k g r o u n d i n f o r m a d o n a b o u t t h e V a c shyc i n e E v a l u a t i o n U n i t a t U of R a n d the n a d o n a l s e a r c h for a v a c c i n e

J o h n Ace to In 1988 the National Institute for Health (NIH) formed an A I D S Vaccine Evaluation G r o u p (AVEG) which consisted of five university research sites (or units)Johns H o p k i n s Un ive r s i t y in Ba l t imore Md Vanderbiit University in Nashville Tenn the University of St Louis in St Louis Mo the University ofRochester and the University of Washington at Seatde The University of Alashybama at Birminghatn joined the group in 1994 TTie N l i ^ deveioped A V E G in response to the growing global threat o f AIDS and thc need for a preventative A I D S vaccine

These evaluation units were designed to do phase 1 and II vaccine safety testing This involves giving small doses o f a vaccine prodshyuct to people to ensure that the vaccine is well tolerated and safe to administer It is a slow processWe have tested over 26 different vacshycines in thc past 11 years and are just now entering the next stage of research which is Phase II testing for effectiveness

T h e first phase III trial o f a precntative H I V vaccine is taking place now in over 20 cities including Rochester The vaccine is called AIDSVAX and is produced by a company called VaxGen of San Francisco Five thoushysand volunteers will need to be enrolled in this double-blind placebo controlled study Two-thirds of the volunteers will get the vaccine and one-third will get a placebo or inert subshystance In addition to thc trials in the US there are also international sites involved in this research

E C W h a t l a n d of p e o p l e qualify t o volshyu n t e e r a n d h o w m a n y d o you need

J A Evety study has its own cntena fbr admiss ion s o I m go ing to explain the AIDSVAX smdy in particular We need to fiU about 80 volunteer slots hopefuUy by the end of summet Were Iooidng for sexually active men who have sex with men w h o are HIV negative tgtetween ages 18 and 60 and in genshyeral good health

A lot ofpeoplc ask me how do you test for effectiveness how d o you imow if die vaccine wodcs Because this is a double blind study^ tiiere will be two groups o f people d iose w h o get the vaccine and those w h o ge t the placeboAt the end of thc study there will bc a comparison of the data collected If there is a significant number of HIV infections in the placebo group and litde to no infection in the vaccine g toup wc will surmise that we have an effective H I V vaccine N o one expects that wc will have a 100 percent effective vacdne at

first but if it is even 50 petccnt effective it will be a good start

The next question I usually get israquo Are you asking people to have unsafe sex Ofcourse we are not Tha t would be extremely unethical In fact wc have incorporated a behavioral counseling aspect to thc testing and everyone will receive counseling and safer sex guidelines at every visit I t is my hope that everyone in the study remains healthy However human nashyture being what it is someone in thc study will come in contact with HIV If this happens thcy will still be foUowed by medical professhysionals So its like a double-edged dilemma We won t know if it works unless someone comes in contact with HIV

AIDSVAX doesn t contain any live or killed virus Many vaccines contain either a bve weakshyened or killed virus like a flu shot This is not thc case with anv o f the H I V vaccines we have tested Researchers ate not willing to take thc chance of using any part o f the virus in an HIV vaccine at this time for fear of infection The vaccines we have tested are all man made in a lab

E C C a n y o u expla in in s i m p l e t e r m s w h a t the vacc ine d o e s con ta in a n d h o w AIDSVAX is e x p e c t e d to p ro tec t aga ins t H I V infect ion

JA The outer shell of an HlV cell is made of proteins For this particular study an outer shell protein called gp 120 has been isolated This protein is one of thc first things that come mto contact with a white blood cell upon infection Scientists have synthetically manufactured this protein for vaccine use When the vaccine is given we hope that the body is tricked into thinking it has been in contact with HIV and begin producing antishybodies We hope that there is a positive antishybody response so if a person later comes in contact with HIV the antibodies present would possibly prevent infection

Joim Aceto

Thete is a possibility of some volunteers getting a h l s e positive on a standatd HIV test because antibodies may igte present What I tell

p e o [ ^ is that if they igteccmie vi^unfiaets tti ocdy get tested at the vaccine unit W e test fbr H I V every six months bu t volunters may bc tested more frequendy during the study if need be

E C I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t m a n y p e o p l e a re c o n c e t n e d less a b o u t HTV infect ion t h a n a b o u t s ide efifects if t h e y voh in tee r

JA Peoples three biggest concerns seem to be lgtecoming infected with HlV not knowing what the vaccine contains and a feat of present and future side effects What 1 can share is my own personal experience because I volunshyteered for a scudy about three years ago I did not become infected with the virus at any rime during the smdy and remain H I V negative today There have been some side effects reshyported to some o f t h e vacdne products such as slight fever mild flu-like symptoms or tenshyderness at the site of injection Most of these occurences lasted for about a day I had none of the above happen to mc While I did no t know i f l had received the vacdne or placebo nor did I care I knew what die product conshytained because I had to read the informational materials provided and sign a consent fotm before enrolling in thc study

E C W h a t can a volunteer expec t JAi t h e tlr^t step is culling 273-AIDS Ifyciu

call this number you wiil be confidentially screened over the phone by a study nurse to see ifyou meet the criteria of the study Ifyou meet ttic criteria you will then be scheduled to come in for a face to face meeting with a nurse You will receive informacion about the study

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In f 995 one of my f^irmer housemates diedlaquo^ I felt

t h e need t o d o something and t he vaccine study just seemed t o fit W h e n I read

t he information and leamed t h a t I could no t be

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induding a consent form which everyone needs to read understand and sign- An H I V test will also be done t o assure diat you a te H I V negativeWhen d ie results conie back another appointment is made to talk about entering the smdyt

If you want to do it at this point the inocushylations begin There are two visits in the first month then once every six months for 36 months T w o weeks after each injection blood is drawn for an H I V test There ace approxishymately 17 visits in a three-year period Volunshyteers receive $50 a visit to h d p with ttavcl and parking expenses

Were doing this study in conjunction witb Community Health Network Ifyou prefer to bc seen at C H N a nurse wili be available there one day a week

Tlic whole study is highly confidential N o one wiil know you are doing it unless you tell them

E C Why d i d you d e c i d e to v o l u n t e e r t h r ee years a g o

JA I did a vaccine scudy back in 1996 IVc always felt very fortunate that I never lost a friend to AIDS all through the 80s and m o s t o f the 90s In 1995 one of my former housemates died diis was the very first person I knew well who had died from AIDS I feit the need to do something and the vaccine study just seemed to fit Wlien I read ihc- information and learned that I could not be infected with HIV 1 deshycided this was the right thing for me to do

If people want information on how to beshycome a volunteer they should call 273-AIDS (2437) If no one answers please leave a message and a nurse will get back to you

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FoAlaquolaquotlaquor Cylaquolratlaquof c aY fruU M July i 4th-18th

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O ^ prlaquo^laquo5 Many y ore CRCLBPs Annual Pride Parade Saturday July 17th at 600 pm begins at the comer of Brunswick St and Park Ave

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s Annual Pride Picnk Sunday July 18 th a t 100 p m at Cenesee Valley Parks Roundhouse All proceeds benefit the Cay Alliance of the Genesee Valley

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call the GRGLBF info-line at 234-8706

O t h e r Events Scheduled for Cay Pride Include Wednesday ju ly 14th

CACV Community Centers Open House Doors open at 700 p m at 179 Atlantic Avenue

Thursday July 1 Sth Pride Poetry Reading

700-900 pm at the GAGV Communi ty Center Sign-languagie intrvprectng provided

Adelante Latinoa Cultural Festival 600-900 pm at ARI 1350 University Avenue

Fridayjuly 16th Break A Sweat for Pride II Dance Party

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A I O T H E E M P T Y e L O S E T J U L Y 1 9 9 9 amp -R 3 i 5 T H E E M ^ P T Y C L O S E T A l l

Lf t t tors contlniMMl from p 2

w o m a n in prison I have been at tempting t o pu t some writings

in o tder t o send to the E C for possible pubshylication A s time passed and I prepared I also waited daily for that first letter o f reply to my free personal ad placed in the E C yet to date no t one person has replied

It became clear that before I could share with E C readers stories about Ufe for gays in prison I d have to a t tempt to wake the readirrs up to o the r matters

In the May 1999 issue of thc EC on thc front cover was a story tided Vandals Attack G A G V Another headline in the same May issue stated The Rainbow Peace Keepers guard Buffalo gays and ano the r (in the Newsfronts section) read Suspect pleads guilty in Shepard killing

D o you see thc pattern here Its clear people are acdng ou t toward gays in society H o w long will g ^ be the victims of such acts I d o know that wc would n o doubt receive more respect and acceptance if we would start respecting and accepting each other

As gays we all know of verba abuse and being judged in a n ^ a d v e manner only be cause we arc gay It s clear that my not teoowv ing any sor t of reply to my personal ad was no t because I was judged gay but because Fm an inmate This double standard certainly needs looking at How can wc dislike being judged because we are gay yet without thought judge another gay pgterson because they are in prison You might be surprised to know that I love hurt smile and laugh just as you

In my life as a gay bo th in and out of prison

I have seen gays judge other gays daily If wc d o not s top this within ourselves certainly aonlaquogays will only continue to treat us as ihey do

It seems to nongays that if one is gay t n d in prison right away they assxune one is in prison for a sexual crime toward a child Just as non-gays believe if two gays adopt a child that child will be sexually abused thete are the gays w h o quickly reject another gay because they arc in prison

How can we condemn non-gays judging xis if we judge each otheri^ If we want respect and acceptance from non-gays we must first leam to show that toward our gay brothers and sisters

I have lots to share about thc gay life in prison Ive seen relationships that lasted more years behind bars than many in society IVc seen the suffering arui pain one often must deal with from other inmates and prison staff heard the sad cries of help as a stronger prisshyoner sexually assaulted a weaker (^soner I have stories that will bting tears of joy or wake you t ^ t o thc reality oflifc for a gay person in pristHi

^ r i t e a gay inmate in prison Give him that sntde wHtare o n e seldoin seems to be Give ths t jEar person someone they can share with as a eav If vou woukl like to read more of life ^^ g^ys io prison d rop me a Une

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^ S c o t t F f a h c r ^

l l u t people have been h m n g s e x in theout-of-doois fc^cemurim indeed^since the beginntng of h u m a a cmfi2ationraquo should be a sutprise to

no ooe O u t d o o r sex was the n o n n when ttibes of wandenog people herding animals and Ihr-ing in c e m p o i ^ Bhelters probably sought pti-vacy away from ampinily rcladves in woods 6eids

and odier wilderness areas Thoseo f us who are members o f die Woodstock generadon reshymember wben it was common to see or at least hear o f people w h o werc in die woods get t ing it on Thir ty years fl^ arid more public sex ^ayed a role in die lives of m e n w h o had nowhere d s e t o meet excepc in gay bats which were regulariy raided by police

Today in these times of gay bashings and AIDS public anonymous sex is a different ballgame altogether Many in the gay commushynity have s tood with police depar tments who are trying to pu t an e n d to public sex especially in public parks and restrooms In June AIDS Rochestcr held a salon entided Public Sex aod the Police SgL Cheryl Franks of the Rochester Police Depar tment and Officer Bill Reithel o f thc Monroe County Sheriffs Deshypar tment Parks Patrol fielded questions from a moderately-sized audience about public sex and the law

Officer Reithel gave the defmition o f public sex as doing anything where the public can

sec you Even in your own home youre still subject to arrest if someone can see you engagshying in any kind of sexual act To make the gay men in the audience not feel singled out Ofshyficer Reithel assured tficm that theres just as many tnalefemale as malemale couples having sex in the park Furdier hc said diat 90 percent of arrests in public parks are made for drugs not sex

Some in thc audience voiced concem that the police used harassment as a way to get gay men to leave parks Officer Reithel assured die audience that he would not use harassment in the public parks He conceded however that hc could not account for thc actions of other officers He said that most o f the deputies in the parks arc new people Th is is dicir first year

Stephen Price o f d i e AIDS Rochester Out shyreach Program said that there ptobably are some police officers w h o are homophobic but that We are intent in s tar t i t^ a dialogue with an issue that is divisive Were happy that the police are willing to come and talk to us and work with us

Price and other outreach workers fiom AIDS Rochester regulariy go to the parks to hand out condoms and lubricants They even leave them stashed behind bushes J e n y Ulled also of AIDS Rochester is concerned that men leave used condoms behind which children could

Gays in t h e p a r k a r laquo pe r fec t t a rge t s mdash t h e y usual ly w a n shyd e r in da rk places and o f t en ca r r y m o n e y o n t h e m i n a v ideo shown a t t h e A I D S Rochester -sponsored ga^ sashyl o n gay bashers and k i l le rs w e r e i n t e r v i e w e d T h e y said

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find Contacting men in public parks is one way that AIDS Rochester outreach workers can spread the word about safe sex Ulled said that men who have sex with other men often don t identify as being gay and that it is diffishycult to access them Outreach workers have to go where the men are

Both the police and those at AIDS Rochesshyter try to stress that sexual cruising in public parks and restrooms is a dangerous business Gays in the parks are perfect targets mdash they usually wander in dark places and often carry money on them In a video shown at the AIDS Rochester-sponsored salon gay bashers and killers who had been arrested were interviewed They said that diey went to places where they knew gay men were cruising including public parks

Officer Reithel stated that there are 16 depushyties assigned to thc public parks And he put an end to the rumor that if one of those police officers wete undercover and a person asked him if he were an undercover cop that he would have to answer yes It s like a drug bust he said Youre not going to tell the potential seller that youre an undercover cop

Why do men want to have public sex There arc as many answers as there are men ou t there in parks and restrooms Some say for the thrill some say there are few other places to meet men and some say that it is a gay cultural ri te Some arc married men from the subshyurbs who do not think of themselves as gay and do not regard themselves as part of the gay community

WiHiAtn KcUy a locai sex therapist sees some men who are troubled or whose partshyners are troubled or who arc referred by the courts after being arrested for public lewdshyness But Kelly thinks there might be a double standard forhomosexuals If its two men its an abomination What thc press likes to do is to put it into some kind of moral deviance Gay men that engage in public sex are not

likely to suffer from personality disorders any more than heterosexuals he said

Kellys therapy relies heavily o n i n t r o d u d r ^ his clients t o other gay men in a social setting or using a buddy or mentoring system H e calls this positive sponsorship If a client does have a psycholc^cal basis fbr his public sexual behavior such as obsessive compulsive disorshyder antidepressants will be tried and slowdy changing the clients rituab will b e a t tempted

Some members of the commuruty are judgshymental o f o thers w h o e n g s ^ in public sex Kelly says that those w h o stigmatize others diink Those guys are worse than me I might want to d o the same He thinks that there should bc more places designated for this activity that are not public In his opinion arresting people in the parks for public sex is not really going to stop it

I don t think you change people s behavior that way I don t fault the police I think people have the right to go to the park and no t see other people having sex But I m always conshycerned when people get shamed For some people it destroys them In some places in the country though I m not aware of it happening here men w h o have gotten arrested were so shamed that it led to suicide Kelly said

There arc many who are unabashedly in favor of public sex Eric Bellmann local artist teacher columnist and observer o f t h e intershynational gay scene is one H c says that there has always been public sex and that theres nothing ^arrong -with it teuro t doesn t ivirt anyone else

UntiI thc culture accepts homosexuats more power to chose who have public sex To take the posture that ifyoure a good litde boy the people in charge will bc nice to you is absurd Nu t s to rhat Only this culture has the goofv ideas about sex it has We are anti-sensual and older cultures are more relaxed toward sex Bellmann said

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gtgt N A T i O N A L A N D i T i RNATSONAL NEWS

Onta r io m u s t reshydefine ^^spouse The Canadian Supreme Cour t ruled on May 20 diat the province of Ontario vioshylated Canadas national human rights ciiarshyter by denying same sex couples die legal definidon of spouse

Ti ie ruling will only affect gay couples in die province of Ontar io init i t sets a strong precedent for ultimately changing national spousal laws as well as employee benefit packages offered by private comshypanies according to Canadian gay rights activists US gay civil rights activists beshylieve diat the ruling is so strongly worded that i t may even further the s t r u ^ e for same sex couples rights in this country

The decision came in a case known as M V K involving a lesbian couple whose 10-year relationship ended in 1992 One of die partners went through standard legal channels to force the other woman to pay spousal support But since the provincial law regulating spousal support claims deshyfined spouse as either a married couple or an heterosexual common law couple the lesbian also asked the cour t t o decide whether this definition violated the fedshyeral human rights ciiarter which was

amended in 1996 t o indude sexual orientashytion The kgtwer cour t ruted that i t did and diat the parmer must pay supporc She in t u m appealed ti ie dedsion and was joined by the Ontario government

Although die t w o women seeded out of court Ontario continued to appeal the ruNng t o die Supreme Court wiiich agreed on May 20 diat the provinces definition of couple does indeed violate die Charter of Rights

-iCai Wright The Woshington Bkide

Cl in ton names H o r m e l ambassador avoids G O P block President Clinton took advantage of the Conshygressional recess on June 4 to appoint openly gay James Hormel as Ambassador to Luxemshybourg The recess appointment ends the yearshylong attempt by Religious Right groups and Senate Republicans t o block the appointment on the grounds that Hormel is gay

Clinton nominated Hormel a San Franshycisco businessman civic leader former diploshymat and longtime Democratic Party activist in 1997 The nomination was approved by the Senate Foreign Relations Committee last fall and had won the support of over 60 senators but had been stalled by Republicans led by Sen James Inhofe (R-Okla) Sen Bob Smith

(RNH) and Sen Tim Hutchinson (R^Arl^ Senate l ia jor i ty Leader Trent Locfc (R-Mss) re toed to let the nominaHon eo tn i t o a vote despite the backing by a majority o f senators

The Republkans w e n t t o great tangths t o justify their bias w i th Sea InheAi cemj^Hng i - iormd t o Ku Klux Kian Grand Wizard David Duke

-Human iUghts Campaign

Students charged w i th hate c r ime in Mass prep school Two students at a liassachusetts prep school were charged on June 2 with a iiate crime after another student told autiiorities tiiat t i ie two had carved die word homo into the back of a fellow student on May 27

The allfiged attack took piace in a dorm at die Northfield Mount Hermon School loshycated in westem Massachusetts just south of d ie Vermont state line The name of the victim was withheld by police The two accused attackers Jonathan Siiapiro 18 of Keene NH and Matthew Rogers 20 from Franklin Tenn apparendy targeted the stushydent because he was a fan of the British band Queen whose lead singer Freddy Mercury died o fA IDS in 1991 Shapiro and Rogers referred to Queen as agay band according to Police Chief David Hastings of Gill Mass

Rogers and Siiapiro were charged with assault and battery v^th a dangerous weapon^ assault with intent to maim and assault with intent to intimidate resulting in bodily iiarm Police listed the assault as a iiate crime The two pleaded not guilty and were released on bail They could be given a maximum senshytence of 25 years in jail

Chief Hastings told the Associated Press that the victim did not report the crime but

cooperated ytixh authorities after anoti ier student who may have witnessed the atshytack notified police Hraquot ings sakl that when iie saw dgte wounds they were t i i ree days o ld and sdll visible althotlaquoraquo^ dMy not require hospitaHzaoiOn t t i e I^Keers were four t o five kiciias h i ^ and ran aM tf ie w ^ across his beck H a n i n f i said

The AP reported that the student left dieacbooi and re t t imcd t o Msl iometown which was not identified There W M n o confirmation that tf ie student attacked was In fact gay

Rogers one of d ie alleged attackers iiad accepted an apppointment to the US Naval Academy A spokesperson for d ie Academy told AP that once the diarges had been verified the school would iiave to reconsider the appointment The prep school is also considering disciplinary acshytions against Shapiro and Rogers

-Lou ChiigtlgtaroJr The Weshingtoti Bhde

Nevada adopts gay civil r ights measure Nevada has passed a gay civil rights law becoming tiie 11 th state t o prohibit job discrimination The measure was approved by the state senate on May 20 by a vote of 13-8 and by the assembly on Apri l I by a vote of 30-10 and the Generai Assembly approved die amended version on May 22

The bill has a narrow focus applying only t o employment-related discriminashytion and exempts nonprofit organizations f rom its provisions The measure was signed into law by Republican Governor Kenny Guin on May 29 and wil l take effect on Oct I

Assemblyman David Parks (D-Las Veshygas) the only openly gay member of the Nevada llt^slature introduced the bill He

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A5 tesdffed that i ie i iad suffered f rom gay-rablaquoad diycriminadon and that t o o many others do as wel i P9xt said that he had

beian fired as d i rec tor o f managwnent and b u d | t i C f o r t h e c ^ o f l a s V laquo c t t i n 1984 because o f his sexual or1ematkgtn and h r f cs fsels because d t y officais leared he w o u l d dte f r o m A1DSlaquo wfoicK w o u l d embarass tfae city (Rui ts is HIV negative) h r k s added that t he bUI wou ld aiso p ro t ac t hecaroaexuals f r om being fti^ be causa diey we re perceived as gay

Newula joins O ^ f o r r ^ Connect icut Hawaii Massachusetts Minnesota N e w HampsNre N e w Jersey Rtiode Island Ve rmon t jmd Wisconsin in p r o t e c t k ^ sexuai or ientat ion in d ie w o r l ^ c e

The Nevada measure is notable in t i ia t i t passed w i t h reiadve ease having been adopted the first year I t was introduced The N e w York State gay rights bifi Hke many others lias been held up for tiecades by rightwing forces w i th in the legislature hseff in Nevada wh i le rightwing groups w o r k e d t o oppose ^special rights f o r sodomites the opposit ion did not come f r o m Republican memlsers o f the state government

-Bill Roundy The Washington Bh4e IHuman Rights Campaign

Judge rules fo r SF gay benef i ts laws In t w o separate decisions on May 27 a federal judge in San Francisco struck d o w n challenges t o the citys benefit laws which we re made by Uni ted Airi ines and a litigashytion group connected t o the anti-gay Christian Coal i t ion

Gay civil rights at tomeys said that the rul ing by US Distr ict Cour t judge Claudia WiNcen sets a strong precedent fo r cities t o adopt domestic partnership laws reshy

quiring equal benefits for same sax couples One of t he decisions perlihtai San Franshy

cisco t o require companies doing btniness wi th the dqr t o offer domestic partner benshyefits eempt ing only airlines w h k h w o u M not have t o provide economic^ benaftts such as lgteaWt icfa and disability knurance and pensiona They wouk l hava t o offer non-economic benefits howeverraquo such as bereayement leave family medical l iave re shylocation compensation and free travel pr iv i-

Tha second deciskgtn rejects a claim by an elecirlcai contracting company that It should noc have t o comply w i th d ie domestic partshynership b w on die same grounds as daimed by the airlines namely that a federal statute regulatinf empkgtyee benefit plans appiies t o all companies not just airiine companies

The etectricai company in the second suit against San Franciscos 1996 Equal Benefits Ordinance was represented igty d ie Amer i shycan Center f o r Law and Justice a legal arm o f the Christian Coalit ion which argued t i iat d ie ordinance violates the rights of the elecshytrical companys owners w h o hold fundashymentalist Christian beiiefa

Wll idns dismissed the fatter case saying t i iat t i ie federal Employee Retirement Inshycome Security A c t (ERISA) does not apply t o companies o t i ie r t i ian airiines in die area of domestic partnership law n the United Airshylines dedsion she vtrote that the ERISA statute does no t forbid San Francisco f rom requiring airiines to provide non-economic domestic partner benefits She added diat United and other airiines failed t o prove they would suffer financially by providing domesshytic partner benefits t o employees and d iat San Francisco iias a val id interest in refusshying t o do iMjsinass w i th contractors w h o engage in what the city regards as discriminashytion

The American Center for Law and Justice

plans t o appeal the decision which tiMJy say l ^ i t im izes same sax refationships

bullLou Chibbaro j r I h t Wtahkiptm B h t M New Ytgttk Bkfdt News

Bush bkuned fo r defeat ofTexas hate cr imes measure Ti ie defeat o f the Texas hate crimes measure which was killed by state senate Reptrfgtlicans on May 14 is lieing laid at the feet o f Gov George W Bush

Dianne Hardy-Garcia executive di rector o f the Lesbian and Gay Rigiits Lobby o f Texas (LGRLT) commented Texas wi i l not to lershyate the terrorizat ion ofany group of dt izens r^ardless of Gov Bushs strategy t o w in tf ie Republkan primary in 2000

Rodney Ellis Democrat ic sponsor o f the bill in d ie senate said Tlieres no doubt in my mind ti iat its presidential politics

Bush is on record as saying that he view(s) all crimes as hate crimes and opposes speshycial rights for gay men and lesbians Hardy-Garcia daims d iat Bush specifically rejected a proposal advocates created which would have substituted language that summarized categories protected by the measure indudshying sexual orientat ion w i th a bfanket refershyence t o the categories defined in the federal iiate crimes statistics act

Hardy-Garcia said that the language was nieant to make the bill more acceptable t o the Republicans on the criminal justice commitshytee Half an hour before a sdieduled commitshytee vote the Republicans met wf th Bush and then rejected the compromise

Hardy-Garcia said that she feels Bushs motivation was a desire t o avoid angering right wing supporters nationally as he makes his bid fo r the Republican presidential nomishynation Republicans who supported the bill

when i t passed the Texas houae faced diadpfinary action -

The measure called d ie James Byrd Jr Hate Cr imes A c t t o remember A e A f r i shycan American man w h o was murt iared by whhie racists last year In Jasper TeKas wou ld have s t r e r ^ e n e d a 1997 hate c r i m laquo faw w h i d i provided no procecshytions for specific groups o r extra penalties for crimes motivated tyy bias Family memshybers o f James Byrd j r had met w i t h Bush t o urge ills approvaJ o f the bil l and they expressed their disappointment that l ie had no t i ieeded t i ie i r pleas judy Shepard modier o f Matthew Shepard called Bushs stand indefensible

-Riul Schindler Lesbkm amp Gay New Yotk

IRS denies tax -e x e m p t status t o Chr is t ian Coa l i t i on The Intemal Revenue Service iias denied the anti-gay Christian Coal i t ion status as a tax-exempt organization on the grounds t i iat the group is a political organization radier dian a religkgtus one

The decision was iiailed lgty activists Including the Reverend Barry W Lynn executive di rector o f Americans fo r the Separation o f Church and State vvho said i t s about time T i ie Christian Coali t ion is a iiardbali political machine t i iat iias been masquerading as a tax-exempt group The IRS has finally pulled off the mask This is a devastating lgtiow t o T V preacher Pat Robertsons political ambitions His crushysade t o polit icize Americas churches is now almost certain t o fail I f o r one say amen

-Americans Uni ted for Separation of Church and State

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terview John AcetOy Volunteer Recruiter for AIDS Vaccine Evaluation Unit at University of Rochester

B y S u s a n J o r d a n J o h n Aceto is Volunteer Rectuiter fbr tiic AIDS Vaccine Evaluation Unit (AVEU) at thc Unishyversity ofRochester He spoke with thc E t n ^ Ckset about the research study currendy undershyway at die U of R on a pardcular vaccine called AIDSVAX and die need for volunteers to parddpa te

Mos t local gays d o not have as much inforshymat ion alxgtut die vaccine studies as diey do aigtout Community fiealth Networic AIDS Rochestcr or Helping People with AIDS Yet the AIDS Vaccine Unit is part of ft crucial national effort which was igt^gtm in 1988 by the National Institute of Health to find a vaccine to prevent HIV infection as vaccines have done for poUo and smallpox

Along with a tack of information about this important local effort many people have quesshytions and fears about what volunteenng for thc study might involve Typical quesdons include concems about infection side effects trust and how thc smdy at tempts to reach its goals

E m p t y Close t C o u l d y o u g ive u s a l i tde b a c k g r o u n d i n f o r m a d o n a b o u t t h e V a c shyc i n e E v a l u a t i o n U n i t a t U of R a n d the n a d o n a l s e a r c h for a v a c c i n e

J o h n Ace to In 1988 the National Institute for Health (NIH) formed an A I D S Vaccine Evaluation G r o u p (AVEG) which consisted of five university research sites (or units)Johns H o p k i n s Un ive r s i t y in Ba l t imore Md Vanderbiit University in Nashville Tenn the University of St Louis in St Louis Mo the University ofRochester and the University of Washington at Seatde The University of Alashybama at Birminghatn joined the group in 1994 TTie N l i ^ deveioped A V E G in response to the growing global threat o f AIDS and thc need for a preventative A I D S vaccine

These evaluation units were designed to do phase 1 and II vaccine safety testing This involves giving small doses o f a vaccine prodshyuct to people to ensure that the vaccine is well tolerated and safe to administer It is a slow processWe have tested over 26 different vacshycines in thc past 11 years and are just now entering the next stage of research which is Phase II testing for effectiveness

T h e first phase III trial o f a precntative H I V vaccine is taking place now in over 20 cities including Rochester The vaccine is called AIDSVAX and is produced by a company called VaxGen of San Francisco Five thoushysand volunteers will need to be enrolled in this double-blind placebo controlled study Two-thirds of the volunteers will get the vaccine and one-third will get a placebo or inert subshystance In addition to thc trials in the US there are also international sites involved in this research

E C W h a t l a n d of p e o p l e qualify t o volshyu n t e e r a n d h o w m a n y d o you need

J A Evety study has its own cntena fbr admiss ion s o I m go ing to explain the AIDSVAX smdy in particular We need to fiU about 80 volunteer slots hopefuUy by the end of summet Were Iooidng for sexually active men who have sex with men w h o are HIV negative tgtetween ages 18 and 60 and in genshyeral good health

A lot ofpeoplc ask me how do you test for effectiveness how d o you imow if die vaccine wodcs Because this is a double blind study^ tiiere will be two groups o f people d iose w h o get the vaccine and those w h o ge t the placeboAt the end of thc study there will bc a comparison of the data collected If there is a significant number of HIV infections in the placebo group and litde to no infection in the vaccine g toup wc will surmise that we have an effective H I V vaccine N o one expects that wc will have a 100 percent effective vacdne at

first but if it is even 50 petccnt effective it will be a good start

The next question I usually get israquo Are you asking people to have unsafe sex Ofcourse we are not Tha t would be extremely unethical In fact wc have incorporated a behavioral counseling aspect to thc testing and everyone will receive counseling and safer sex guidelines at every visit I t is my hope that everyone in the study remains healthy However human nashyture being what it is someone in thc study will come in contact with HIV If this happens thcy will still be foUowed by medical professhysionals So its like a double-edged dilemma We won t know if it works unless someone comes in contact with HIV

AIDSVAX doesn t contain any live or killed virus Many vaccines contain either a bve weakshyened or killed virus like a flu shot This is not thc case with anv o f the H I V vaccines we have tested Researchers ate not willing to take thc chance of using any part o f the virus in an HIV vaccine at this time for fear of infection The vaccines we have tested are all man made in a lab

E C C a n y o u expla in in s i m p l e t e r m s w h a t the vacc ine d o e s con ta in a n d h o w AIDSVAX is e x p e c t e d to p ro tec t aga ins t H I V infect ion

JA The outer shell of an HlV cell is made of proteins For this particular study an outer shell protein called gp 120 has been isolated This protein is one of thc first things that come mto contact with a white blood cell upon infection Scientists have synthetically manufactured this protein for vaccine use When the vaccine is given we hope that the body is tricked into thinking it has been in contact with HIV and begin producing antishybodies We hope that there is a positive antishybody response so if a person later comes in contact with HIV the antibodies present would possibly prevent infection

Joim Aceto

Thete is a possibility of some volunteers getting a h l s e positive on a standatd HIV test because antibodies may igte present What I tell

p e o [ ^ is that if they igteccmie vi^unfiaets tti ocdy get tested at the vaccine unit W e test fbr H I V every six months bu t volunters may bc tested more frequendy during the study if need be

E C I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t m a n y p e o p l e a re c o n c e t n e d less a b o u t HTV infect ion t h a n a b o u t s ide efifects if t h e y voh in tee r

JA Peoples three biggest concerns seem to be lgtecoming infected with HlV not knowing what the vaccine contains and a feat of present and future side effects What 1 can share is my own personal experience because I volunshyteered for a scudy about three years ago I did not become infected with the virus at any rime during the smdy and remain H I V negative today There have been some side effects reshyported to some o f t h e vacdne products such as slight fever mild flu-like symptoms or tenshyderness at the site of injection Most of these occurences lasted for about a day I had none of the above happen to mc While I did no t know i f l had received the vacdne or placebo nor did I care I knew what die product conshytained because I had to read the informational materials provided and sign a consent fotm before enrolling in thc study

E C W h a t can a volunteer expec t JAi t h e tlr^t step is culling 273-AIDS Ifyciu

call this number you wiil be confidentially screened over the phone by a study nurse to see ifyou meet the criteria of the study Ifyou meet ttic criteria you will then be scheduled to come in for a face to face meeting with a nurse You will receive informacion about the study

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t h e need t o d o something and t he vaccine study just seemed t o fit W h e n I read

t he information and leamed t h a t I could no t be

infected with HiVJ deshycided this yenas t h e i i | ^ t

thing for m e t o do

induding a consent form which everyone needs to read understand and sign- An H I V test will also be done t o assure diat you a te H I V negativeWhen d ie results conie back another appointment is made to talk about entering the smdyt

If you want to do it at this point the inocushylations begin There are two visits in the first month then once every six months for 36 months T w o weeks after each injection blood is drawn for an H I V test There ace approxishymately 17 visits in a three-year period Volunshyteers receive $50 a visit to h d p with ttavcl and parking expenses

Were doing this study in conjunction witb Community Health Network Ifyou prefer to bc seen at C H N a nurse wili be available there one day a week

Tlic whole study is highly confidential N o one wiil know you are doing it unless you tell them

E C Why d i d you d e c i d e to v o l u n t e e r t h r ee years a g o

JA I did a vaccine scudy back in 1996 IVc always felt very fortunate that I never lost a friend to AIDS all through the 80s and m o s t o f the 90s In 1995 one of my former housemates died diis was the very first person I knew well who had died from AIDS I feit the need to do something and the vaccine study just seemed to fit Wlien I read ihc- information and learned that I could not be infected with HIV 1 deshycided this was the right thing for me to do

If people want information on how to beshycome a volunteer they should call 273-AIDS (2437) If no one answers please leave a message and a nurse will get back to you

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A I O T H E E M P T Y e L O S E T J U L Y 1 9 9 9 amp -R 3 i 5 T H E E M ^ P T Y C L O S E T A l l

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w o m a n in prison I have been at tempting t o pu t some writings

in o tder t o send to the E C for possible pubshylication A s time passed and I prepared I also waited daily for that first letter o f reply to my free personal ad placed in the E C yet to date no t one person has replied

It became clear that before I could share with E C readers stories about Ufe for gays in prison I d have to a t tempt to wake the readirrs up to o the r matters

In the May 1999 issue of thc EC on thc front cover was a story tided Vandals Attack G A G V Another headline in the same May issue stated The Rainbow Peace Keepers guard Buffalo gays and ano the r (in the Newsfronts section) read Suspect pleads guilty in Shepard killing

D o you see thc pattern here Its clear people are acdng ou t toward gays in society H o w long will g ^ be the victims of such acts I d o know that wc would n o doubt receive more respect and acceptance if we would start respecting and accepting each other

As gays we all know of verba abuse and being judged in a n ^ a d v e manner only be cause we arc gay It s clear that my not teoowv ing any sor t of reply to my personal ad was no t because I was judged gay but because Fm an inmate This double standard certainly needs looking at How can wc dislike being judged because we are gay yet without thought judge another gay pgterson because they are in prison You might be surprised to know that I love hurt smile and laugh just as you

In my life as a gay bo th in and out of prison

I have seen gays judge other gays daily If wc d o not s top this within ourselves certainly aonlaquogays will only continue to treat us as ihey do

It seems to nongays that if one is gay t n d in prison right away they assxune one is in prison for a sexual crime toward a child Just as non-gays believe if two gays adopt a child that child will be sexually abused thete are the gays w h o quickly reject another gay because they arc in prison

How can we condemn non-gays judging xis if we judge each otheri^ If we want respect and acceptance from non-gays we must first leam to show that toward our gay brothers and sisters

I have lots to share about thc gay life in prison Ive seen relationships that lasted more years behind bars than many in society IVc seen the suffering arui pain one often must deal with from other inmates and prison staff heard the sad cries of help as a stronger prisshyoner sexually assaulted a weaker (^soner I have stories that will bting tears of joy or wake you t ^ t o thc reality oflifc for a gay person in pristHi

^ r i t e a gay inmate in prison Give him that sntde wHtare o n e seldoin seems to be Give ths t jEar person someone they can share with as a eav If vou woukl like to read more of life ^^ g^ys io prison d rop me a Une

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Gay men and public sex [ ]

^ S c o t t F f a h c r ^

l l u t people have been h m n g s e x in theout-of-doois fc^cemurim indeed^since the beginntng of h u m a a cmfi2ationraquo should be a sutprise to

no ooe O u t d o o r sex was the n o n n when ttibes of wandenog people herding animals and Ihr-ing in c e m p o i ^ Bhelters probably sought pti-vacy away from ampinily rcladves in woods 6eids

and odier wilderness areas Thoseo f us who are members o f die Woodstock generadon reshymember wben it was common to see or at least hear o f people w h o werc in die woods get t ing it on Thir ty years fl^ arid more public sex ^ayed a role in die lives of m e n w h o had nowhere d s e t o meet excepc in gay bats which were regulariy raided by police

Today in these times of gay bashings and AIDS public anonymous sex is a different ballgame altogether Many in the gay commushynity have s tood with police depar tments who are trying to pu t an e n d to public sex especially in public parks and restrooms In June AIDS Rochestcr held a salon entided Public Sex aod the Police SgL Cheryl Franks of the Rochester Police Depar tment and Officer Bill Reithel o f thc Monroe County Sheriffs Deshypar tment Parks Patrol fielded questions from a moderately-sized audience about public sex and the law

Officer Reithel gave the defmition o f public sex as doing anything where the public can

sec you Even in your own home youre still subject to arrest if someone can see you engagshying in any kind of sexual act To make the gay men in the audience not feel singled out Ofshyficer Reithel assured tficm that theres just as many tnalefemale as malemale couples having sex in the park Furdier hc said diat 90 percent of arrests in public parks are made for drugs not sex

Some in thc audience voiced concem that the police used harassment as a way to get gay men to leave parks Officer Reithel assured die audience that he would not use harassment in the public parks He conceded however that hc could not account for thc actions of other officers He said that most o f the deputies in the parks arc new people Th is is dicir first year

Stephen Price o f d i e AIDS Rochester Out shyreach Program said that there ptobably are some police officers w h o are homophobic but that We are intent in s tar t i t^ a dialogue with an issue that is divisive Were happy that the police are willing to come and talk to us and work with us

Price and other outreach workers fiom AIDS Rochester regulariy go to the parks to hand out condoms and lubricants They even leave them stashed behind bushes J e n y Ulled also of AIDS Rochester is concerned that men leave used condoms behind which children could

Gays in t h e p a r k a r laquo pe r fec t t a rge t s mdash t h e y usual ly w a n shyd e r in da rk places and o f t en ca r r y m o n e y o n t h e m i n a v ideo shown a t t h e A I D S Rochester -sponsored ga^ sashyl o n gay bashers and k i l le rs w e r e i n t e r v i e w e d T h e y said

t h a t t hey w e n t t o places w h e r e t h e y k n e w gay m e n w e r e c ru is ing inc lud ing pub l ic parks

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find Contacting men in public parks is one way that AIDS Rochester outreach workers can spread the word about safe sex Ulled said that men who have sex with other men often don t identify as being gay and that it is diffishycult to access them Outreach workers have to go where the men are

Both the police and those at AIDS Rochesshyter try to stress that sexual cruising in public parks and restrooms is a dangerous business Gays in the parks are perfect targets mdash they usually wander in dark places and often carry money on them In a video shown at the AIDS Rochester-sponsored salon gay bashers and killers who had been arrested were interviewed They said that diey went to places where they knew gay men were cruising including public parks

Officer Reithel stated that there are 16 depushyties assigned to thc public parks And he put an end to the rumor that if one of those police officers wete undercover and a person asked him if he were an undercover cop that he would have to answer yes It s like a drug bust he said Youre not going to tell the potential seller that youre an undercover cop

Why do men want to have public sex There arc as many answers as there are men ou t there in parks and restrooms Some say for the thrill some say there are few other places to meet men and some say that it is a gay cultural ri te Some arc married men from the subshyurbs who do not think of themselves as gay and do not regard themselves as part of the gay community

WiHiAtn KcUy a locai sex therapist sees some men who are troubled or whose partshyners are troubled or who arc referred by the courts after being arrested for public lewdshyness But Kelly thinks there might be a double standard forhomosexuals If its two men its an abomination What thc press likes to do is to put it into some kind of moral deviance Gay men that engage in public sex are not

likely to suffer from personality disorders any more than heterosexuals he said

Kellys therapy relies heavily o n i n t r o d u d r ^ his clients t o other gay men in a social setting or using a buddy or mentoring system H e calls this positive sponsorship If a client does have a psycholc^cal basis fbr his public sexual behavior such as obsessive compulsive disorshyder antidepressants will be tried and slowdy changing the clients rituab will b e a t tempted

Some members of the commuruty are judgshymental o f o thers w h o e n g s ^ in public sex Kelly says that those w h o stigmatize others diink Those guys are worse than me I might want to d o the same He thinks that there should bc more places designated for this activity that are not public In his opinion arresting people in the parks for public sex is not really going to stop it

I don t think you change people s behavior that way I don t fault the police I think people have the right to go to the park and no t see other people having sex But I m always conshycerned when people get shamed For some people it destroys them In some places in the country though I m not aware of it happening here men w h o have gotten arrested were so shamed that it led to suicide Kelly said

There arc many who are unabashedly in favor of public sex Eric Bellmann local artist teacher columnist and observer o f t h e intershynational gay scene is one H c says that there has always been public sex and that theres nothing ^arrong -with it teuro t doesn t ivirt anyone else

UntiI thc culture accepts homosexuats more power to chose who have public sex To take the posture that ifyoure a good litde boy the people in charge will bc nice to you is absurd Nu t s to rhat Only this culture has the goofv ideas about sex it has We are anti-sensual and older cultures are more relaxed toward sex Bellmann said

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terview John AcetOy Volunteer Recruiter for AIDS Vaccine Evaluation Unit at University of Rochester

B y S u s a n J o r d a n J o h n Aceto is Volunteer Rectuiter fbr tiic AIDS Vaccine Evaluation Unit (AVEU) at thc Unishyversity ofRochester He spoke with thc E t n ^ Ckset about the research study currendy undershyway at die U of R on a pardcular vaccine called AIDSVAX and die need for volunteers to parddpa te

Mos t local gays d o not have as much inforshymat ion alxgtut die vaccine studies as diey do aigtout Community fiealth Networic AIDS Rochestcr or Helping People with AIDS Yet the AIDS Vaccine Unit is part of ft crucial national effort which was igt^gtm in 1988 by the National Institute of Health to find a vaccine to prevent HIV infection as vaccines have done for poUo and smallpox

Along with a tack of information about this important local effort many people have quesshytions and fears about what volunteenng for thc study might involve Typical quesdons include concems about infection side effects trust and how thc smdy at tempts to reach its goals

E m p t y Close t C o u l d y o u g ive u s a l i tde b a c k g r o u n d i n f o r m a d o n a b o u t t h e V a c shyc i n e E v a l u a t i o n U n i t a t U of R a n d the n a d o n a l s e a r c h for a v a c c i n e

J o h n Ace to In 1988 the National Institute for Health (NIH) formed an A I D S Vaccine Evaluation G r o u p (AVEG) which consisted of five university research sites (or units)Johns H o p k i n s Un ive r s i t y in Ba l t imore Md Vanderbiit University in Nashville Tenn the University of St Louis in St Louis Mo the University ofRochester and the University of Washington at Seatde The University of Alashybama at Birminghatn joined the group in 1994 TTie N l i ^ deveioped A V E G in response to the growing global threat o f AIDS and thc need for a preventative A I D S vaccine

These evaluation units were designed to do phase 1 and II vaccine safety testing This involves giving small doses o f a vaccine prodshyuct to people to ensure that the vaccine is well tolerated and safe to administer It is a slow processWe have tested over 26 different vacshycines in thc past 11 years and are just now entering the next stage of research which is Phase II testing for effectiveness

T h e first phase III trial o f a precntative H I V vaccine is taking place now in over 20 cities including Rochester The vaccine is called AIDSVAX and is produced by a company called VaxGen of San Francisco Five thoushysand volunteers will need to be enrolled in this double-blind placebo controlled study Two-thirds of the volunteers will get the vaccine and one-third will get a placebo or inert subshystance In addition to thc trials in the US there are also international sites involved in this research

E C W h a t l a n d of p e o p l e qualify t o volshyu n t e e r a n d h o w m a n y d o you need

J A Evety study has its own cntena fbr admiss ion s o I m go ing to explain the AIDSVAX smdy in particular We need to fiU about 80 volunteer slots hopefuUy by the end of summet Were Iooidng for sexually active men who have sex with men w h o are HIV negative tgtetween ages 18 and 60 and in genshyeral good health

A lot ofpeoplc ask me how do you test for effectiveness how d o you imow if die vaccine wodcs Because this is a double blind study^ tiiere will be two groups o f people d iose w h o get the vaccine and those w h o ge t the placeboAt the end of thc study there will bc a comparison of the data collected If there is a significant number of HIV infections in the placebo group and litde to no infection in the vaccine g toup wc will surmise that we have an effective H I V vaccine N o one expects that wc will have a 100 percent effective vacdne at

first but if it is even 50 petccnt effective it will be a good start

The next question I usually get israquo Are you asking people to have unsafe sex Ofcourse we are not Tha t would be extremely unethical In fact wc have incorporated a behavioral counseling aspect to thc testing and everyone will receive counseling and safer sex guidelines at every visit I t is my hope that everyone in the study remains healthy However human nashyture being what it is someone in thc study will come in contact with HIV If this happens thcy will still be foUowed by medical professhysionals So its like a double-edged dilemma We won t know if it works unless someone comes in contact with HIV

AIDSVAX doesn t contain any live or killed virus Many vaccines contain either a bve weakshyened or killed virus like a flu shot This is not thc case with anv o f the H I V vaccines we have tested Researchers ate not willing to take thc chance of using any part o f the virus in an HIV vaccine at this time for fear of infection The vaccines we have tested are all man made in a lab

E C C a n y o u expla in in s i m p l e t e r m s w h a t the vacc ine d o e s con ta in a n d h o w AIDSVAX is e x p e c t e d to p ro tec t aga ins t H I V infect ion

JA The outer shell of an HlV cell is made of proteins For this particular study an outer shell protein called gp 120 has been isolated This protein is one of thc first things that come mto contact with a white blood cell upon infection Scientists have synthetically manufactured this protein for vaccine use When the vaccine is given we hope that the body is tricked into thinking it has been in contact with HIV and begin producing antishybodies We hope that there is a positive antishybody response so if a person later comes in contact with HIV the antibodies present would possibly prevent infection

Joim Aceto

Thete is a possibility of some volunteers getting a h l s e positive on a standatd HIV test because antibodies may igte present What I tell

p e o [ ^ is that if they igteccmie vi^unfiaets tti ocdy get tested at the vaccine unit W e test fbr H I V every six months bu t volunters may bc tested more frequendy during the study if need be

E C I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t m a n y p e o p l e a re c o n c e t n e d less a b o u t HTV infect ion t h a n a b o u t s ide efifects if t h e y voh in tee r

JA Peoples three biggest concerns seem to be lgtecoming infected with HlV not knowing what the vaccine contains and a feat of present and future side effects What 1 can share is my own personal experience because I volunshyteered for a scudy about three years ago I did not become infected with the virus at any rime during the smdy and remain H I V negative today There have been some side effects reshyported to some o f t h e vacdne products such as slight fever mild flu-like symptoms or tenshyderness at the site of injection Most of these occurences lasted for about a day I had none of the above happen to mc While I did no t know i f l had received the vacdne or placebo nor did I care I knew what die product conshytained because I had to read the informational materials provided and sign a consent fotm before enrolling in thc study

E C W h a t can a volunteer expec t JAi t h e tlr^t step is culling 273-AIDS Ifyciu

call this number you wiil be confidentially screened over the phone by a study nurse to see ifyou meet the criteria of the study Ifyou meet ttic criteria you will then be scheduled to come in for a face to face meeting with a nurse You will receive informacion about the study

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In f 995 one of my f^irmer housemates diedlaquo^ I felt

t h e need t o d o something and t he vaccine study just seemed t o fit W h e n I read

t he information and leamed t h a t I could no t be

infected with HiVJ deshycided this yenas t h e i i | ^ t

thing for m e t o do

induding a consent form which everyone needs to read understand and sign- An H I V test will also be done t o assure diat you a te H I V negativeWhen d ie results conie back another appointment is made to talk about entering the smdyt

If you want to do it at this point the inocushylations begin There are two visits in the first month then once every six months for 36 months T w o weeks after each injection blood is drawn for an H I V test There ace approxishymately 17 visits in a three-year period Volunshyteers receive $50 a visit to h d p with ttavcl and parking expenses

Were doing this study in conjunction witb Community Health Network Ifyou prefer to bc seen at C H N a nurse wili be available there one day a week

Tlic whole study is highly confidential N o one wiil know you are doing it unless you tell them

E C Why d i d you d e c i d e to v o l u n t e e r t h r ee years a g o

JA I did a vaccine scudy back in 1996 IVc always felt very fortunate that I never lost a friend to AIDS all through the 80s and m o s t o f the 90s In 1995 one of my former housemates died diis was the very first person I knew well who had died from AIDS I feit the need to do something and the vaccine study just seemed to fit Wlien I read ihc- information and learned that I could not be infected with HIV 1 deshycided this was the right thing for me to do

If people want information on how to beshycome a volunteer they should call 273-AIDS (2437) If no one answers please leave a message and a nurse will get back to you

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O t h e r Events Scheduled for Cay Pride Include Wednesday ju ly 14th

CACV Community Centers Open House Doors open at 700 p m at 179 Atlantic Avenue

Thursday July 1 Sth Pride Poetry Reading

700-900 pm at the GAGV Communi ty Center Sign-languagie intrvprectng provided

Adelante Latinoa Cultural Festival 600-900 pm at ARI 1350 University Avenue

Fridayjuly 16th Break A Sweat for Pride II Dance Party

900 pm-300 am at The Gate 444 Central Avenue

Saturday July 17th Cay Prtde Story Titne fo r Young Childreti

1000 am at Borders Books amp Music across f rom Marketplace Mai l

CRCLBFs Cultural Festival following the Parade

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w o m a n in prison I have been at tempting t o pu t some writings

in o tder t o send to the E C for possible pubshylication A s time passed and I prepared I also waited daily for that first letter o f reply to my free personal ad placed in the E C yet to date no t one person has replied

It became clear that before I could share with E C readers stories about Ufe for gays in prison I d have to a t tempt to wake the readirrs up to o the r matters

In the May 1999 issue of thc EC on thc front cover was a story tided Vandals Attack G A G V Another headline in the same May issue stated The Rainbow Peace Keepers guard Buffalo gays and ano the r (in the Newsfronts section) read Suspect pleads guilty in Shepard killing

D o you see thc pattern here Its clear people are acdng ou t toward gays in society H o w long will g ^ be the victims of such acts I d o know that wc would n o doubt receive more respect and acceptance if we would start respecting and accepting each other

As gays we all know of verba abuse and being judged in a n ^ a d v e manner only be cause we arc gay It s clear that my not teoowv ing any sor t of reply to my personal ad was no t because I was judged gay but because Fm an inmate This double standard certainly needs looking at How can wc dislike being judged because we are gay yet without thought judge another gay pgterson because they are in prison You might be surprised to know that I love hurt smile and laugh just as you

In my life as a gay bo th in and out of prison

I have seen gays judge other gays daily If wc d o not s top this within ourselves certainly aonlaquogays will only continue to treat us as ihey do

It seems to nongays that if one is gay t n d in prison right away they assxune one is in prison for a sexual crime toward a child Just as non-gays believe if two gays adopt a child that child will be sexually abused thete are the gays w h o quickly reject another gay because they arc in prison

How can we condemn non-gays judging xis if we judge each otheri^ If we want respect and acceptance from non-gays we must first leam to show that toward our gay brothers and sisters

I have lots to share about thc gay life in prison Ive seen relationships that lasted more years behind bars than many in society IVc seen the suffering arui pain one often must deal with from other inmates and prison staff heard the sad cries of help as a stronger prisshyoner sexually assaulted a weaker (^soner I have stories that will bting tears of joy or wake you t ^ t o thc reality oflifc for a gay person in pristHi

^ r i t e a gay inmate in prison Give him that sntde wHtare o n e seldoin seems to be Give ths t jEar person someone they can share with as a eav If vou woukl like to read more of life ^^ g^ys io prison d rop me a Une

Be gay and proud R o b e r t G r a n t 94B2058 W C F B-99-12 P O B o x 1187 A l d e n N V 14004-1187

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Gay men and public sex [ ]

^ S c o t t F f a h c r ^

l l u t people have been h m n g s e x in theout-of-doois fc^cemurim indeed^since the beginntng of h u m a a cmfi2ationraquo should be a sutprise to

no ooe O u t d o o r sex was the n o n n when ttibes of wandenog people herding animals and Ihr-ing in c e m p o i ^ Bhelters probably sought pti-vacy away from ampinily rcladves in woods 6eids

and odier wilderness areas Thoseo f us who are members o f die Woodstock generadon reshymember wben it was common to see or at least hear o f people w h o werc in die woods get t ing it on Thir ty years fl^ arid more public sex ^ayed a role in die lives of m e n w h o had nowhere d s e t o meet excepc in gay bats which were regulariy raided by police

Today in these times of gay bashings and AIDS public anonymous sex is a different ballgame altogether Many in the gay commushynity have s tood with police depar tments who are trying to pu t an e n d to public sex especially in public parks and restrooms In June AIDS Rochestcr held a salon entided Public Sex aod the Police SgL Cheryl Franks of the Rochester Police Depar tment and Officer Bill Reithel o f thc Monroe County Sheriffs Deshypar tment Parks Patrol fielded questions from a moderately-sized audience about public sex and the law

Officer Reithel gave the defmition o f public sex as doing anything where the public can

sec you Even in your own home youre still subject to arrest if someone can see you engagshying in any kind of sexual act To make the gay men in the audience not feel singled out Ofshyficer Reithel assured tficm that theres just as many tnalefemale as malemale couples having sex in the park Furdier hc said diat 90 percent of arrests in public parks are made for drugs not sex

Some in thc audience voiced concem that the police used harassment as a way to get gay men to leave parks Officer Reithel assured die audience that he would not use harassment in the public parks He conceded however that hc could not account for thc actions of other officers He said that most o f the deputies in the parks arc new people Th is is dicir first year

Stephen Price o f d i e AIDS Rochester Out shyreach Program said that there ptobably are some police officers w h o are homophobic but that We are intent in s tar t i t^ a dialogue with an issue that is divisive Were happy that the police are willing to come and talk to us and work with us

Price and other outreach workers fiom AIDS Rochester regulariy go to the parks to hand out condoms and lubricants They even leave them stashed behind bushes J e n y Ulled also of AIDS Rochester is concerned that men leave used condoms behind which children could

Gays in t h e p a r k a r laquo pe r fec t t a rge t s mdash t h e y usual ly w a n shyd e r in da rk places and o f t en ca r r y m o n e y o n t h e m i n a v ideo shown a t t h e A I D S Rochester -sponsored ga^ sashyl o n gay bashers and k i l le rs w e r e i n t e r v i e w e d T h e y said

t h a t t hey w e n t t o places w h e r e t h e y k n e w gay m e n w e r e c ru is ing inc lud ing pub l ic parks

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find Contacting men in public parks is one way that AIDS Rochester outreach workers can spread the word about safe sex Ulled said that men who have sex with other men often don t identify as being gay and that it is diffishycult to access them Outreach workers have to go where the men are

Both the police and those at AIDS Rochesshyter try to stress that sexual cruising in public parks and restrooms is a dangerous business Gays in the parks are perfect targets mdash they usually wander in dark places and often carry money on them In a video shown at the AIDS Rochester-sponsored salon gay bashers and killers who had been arrested were interviewed They said that diey went to places where they knew gay men were cruising including public parks

Officer Reithel stated that there are 16 depushyties assigned to thc public parks And he put an end to the rumor that if one of those police officers wete undercover and a person asked him if he were an undercover cop that he would have to answer yes It s like a drug bust he said Youre not going to tell the potential seller that youre an undercover cop

Why do men want to have public sex There arc as many answers as there are men ou t there in parks and restrooms Some say for the thrill some say there are few other places to meet men and some say that it is a gay cultural ri te Some arc married men from the subshyurbs who do not think of themselves as gay and do not regard themselves as part of the gay community

WiHiAtn KcUy a locai sex therapist sees some men who are troubled or whose partshyners are troubled or who arc referred by the courts after being arrested for public lewdshyness But Kelly thinks there might be a double standard forhomosexuals If its two men its an abomination What thc press likes to do is to put it into some kind of moral deviance Gay men that engage in public sex are not

likely to suffer from personality disorders any more than heterosexuals he said

Kellys therapy relies heavily o n i n t r o d u d r ^ his clients t o other gay men in a social setting or using a buddy or mentoring system H e calls this positive sponsorship If a client does have a psycholc^cal basis fbr his public sexual behavior such as obsessive compulsive disorshyder antidepressants will be tried and slowdy changing the clients rituab will b e a t tempted

Some members of the commuruty are judgshymental o f o thers w h o e n g s ^ in public sex Kelly says that those w h o stigmatize others diink Those guys are worse than me I might want to d o the same He thinks that there should bc more places designated for this activity that are not public In his opinion arresting people in the parks for public sex is not really going to stop it

I don t think you change people s behavior that way I don t fault the police I think people have the right to go to the park and no t see other people having sex But I m always conshycerned when people get shamed For some people it destroys them In some places in the country though I m not aware of it happening here men w h o have gotten arrested were so shamed that it led to suicide Kelly said

There arc many who are unabashedly in favor of public sex Eric Bellmann local artist teacher columnist and observer o f t h e intershynational gay scene is one H c says that there has always been public sex and that theres nothing ^arrong -with it teuro t doesn t ivirt anyone else

UntiI thc culture accepts homosexuats more power to chose who have public sex To take the posture that ifyoure a good litde boy the people in charge will bc nice to you is absurd Nu t s to rhat Only this culture has the goofv ideas about sex it has We are anti-sensual and older cultures are more relaxed toward sex Bellmann said

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C XLdlaquoSnBv T v A9

Check us Whether you re lookirig for

TshlrH Pride lierr^s Books Megezmesor iheleiest

Video Hiis such es

^ ^ ^ i f ^ m ^ ^^

Gods amp Monstets - Lilies l i s In ihe Wgiet - Togeihet Alone

Green Pkid h i r i - The Hanging Garden gt bull bull -

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A I O T H E E M P T Y e L O S E T J U L Y 1 9 9 9 amp -R 3 i 5 T H E E M ^ P T Y C L O S E T A l l

Lf t t tors contlniMMl from p 2

w o m a n in prison I have been at tempting t o pu t some writings

in o tder t o send to the E C for possible pubshylication A s time passed and I prepared I also waited daily for that first letter o f reply to my free personal ad placed in the E C yet to date no t one person has replied

It became clear that before I could share with E C readers stories about Ufe for gays in prison I d have to a t tempt to wake the readirrs up to o the r matters

In the May 1999 issue of thc EC on thc front cover was a story tided Vandals Attack G A G V Another headline in the same May issue stated The Rainbow Peace Keepers guard Buffalo gays and ano the r (in the Newsfronts section) read Suspect pleads guilty in Shepard killing

D o you see thc pattern here Its clear people are acdng ou t toward gays in society H o w long will g ^ be the victims of such acts I d o know that wc would n o doubt receive more respect and acceptance if we would start respecting and accepting each other

As gays we all know of verba abuse and being judged in a n ^ a d v e manner only be cause we arc gay It s clear that my not teoowv ing any sor t of reply to my personal ad was no t because I was judged gay but because Fm an inmate This double standard certainly needs looking at How can wc dislike being judged because we are gay yet without thought judge another gay pgterson because they are in prison You might be surprised to know that I love hurt smile and laugh just as you

In my life as a gay bo th in and out of prison

I have seen gays judge other gays daily If wc d o not s top this within ourselves certainly aonlaquogays will only continue to treat us as ihey do

It seems to nongays that if one is gay t n d in prison right away they assxune one is in prison for a sexual crime toward a child Just as non-gays believe if two gays adopt a child that child will be sexually abused thete are the gays w h o quickly reject another gay because they arc in prison

How can we condemn non-gays judging xis if we judge each otheri^ If we want respect and acceptance from non-gays we must first leam to show that toward our gay brothers and sisters

I have lots to share about thc gay life in prison Ive seen relationships that lasted more years behind bars than many in society IVc seen the suffering arui pain one often must deal with from other inmates and prison staff heard the sad cries of help as a stronger prisshyoner sexually assaulted a weaker (^soner I have stories that will bting tears of joy or wake you t ^ t o thc reality oflifc for a gay person in pristHi

^ r i t e a gay inmate in prison Give him that sntde wHtare o n e seldoin seems to be Give ths t jEar person someone they can share with as a eav If vou woukl like to read more of life ^^ g^ys io prison d rop me a Une

Be gay and proud R o b e r t G r a n t 94B2058 W C F B-99-12 P O B o x 1187 A l d e n N V 14004-1187

One Call for All

I t w Cwt

OonuMAg

CmbnUan

The Rochester Center for Massage Therapy 625 Panorama Trail Building 1

Rochester New York 14625 716-248-9010

Appointments from 7 am to 8 pm Gift Certificates Available

Ted Collins Tree amp Landscape 8(X)0 Victor Mendon Road Victor NY 14564 716-381-9000924-7105 Keying our Communtty Creen since 1957

^

SPECIALS M O N D A Y

2 for I

L A B A T T S N i g h t

TUESPAY $2 Wel l amp Domestic

9pm - lam

W E D N E S D A Y 2 for I Wel l amp Domestic

9-1 am

T H U R S D A Y Canadian I m p o r t N igh t $ I off ALL Canadian Beer

Spm - lam

FRIDAY KEITHS

HAPPIEST HOURS Well amp Domestic $100

4pm - 6pm

153 L i b e r t y P o l e W a y

7 1 6 - 2 3 2 - 4 7 1 9

web page httpwwwnetaccnet~tara

Saturday A f t e rnoons

3-8pnn Food Specials $100 Buds

FROZEN _ CoCKTAIL5

S U N D A Y Happy H o u r 12-8

$2 We l l amp Domestk

M o n - S a t H A F F V H O U R

Noon - Spm

Daiquiris Pina Coladas Margaritas Rum Runners

bull Featuring Island Oasis

laquo

Swinnwear Contest amp Prizes

mf fbllovring tKe

8 - 12pm 2 f o r 1 speciaJ

follo-wlnlti t h e

Picnic D a n c i n g o n t h e D e c k

W i t h D J CUf f

6 - 12pm D r i n k Spec ia ls S O ^ D r a i t s

^

Mk e^-J^o^i-^

Gay men and public sex [ ]

^ S c o t t F f a h c r ^

l l u t people have been h m n g s e x in theout-of-doois fc^cemurim indeed^since the beginntng of h u m a a cmfi2ationraquo should be a sutprise to

no ooe O u t d o o r sex was the n o n n when ttibes of wandenog people herding animals and Ihr-ing in c e m p o i ^ Bhelters probably sought pti-vacy away from ampinily rcladves in woods 6eids

and odier wilderness areas Thoseo f us who are members o f die Woodstock generadon reshymember wben it was common to see or at least hear o f people w h o werc in die woods get t ing it on Thir ty years fl^ arid more public sex ^ayed a role in die lives of m e n w h o had nowhere d s e t o meet excepc in gay bats which were regulariy raided by police

Today in these times of gay bashings and AIDS public anonymous sex is a different ballgame altogether Many in the gay commushynity have s tood with police depar tments who are trying to pu t an e n d to public sex especially in public parks and restrooms In June AIDS Rochestcr held a salon entided Public Sex aod the Police SgL Cheryl Franks of the Rochester Police Depar tment and Officer Bill Reithel o f thc Monroe County Sheriffs Deshypar tment Parks Patrol fielded questions from a moderately-sized audience about public sex and the law

Officer Reithel gave the defmition o f public sex as doing anything where the public can

sec you Even in your own home youre still subject to arrest if someone can see you engagshying in any kind of sexual act To make the gay men in the audience not feel singled out Ofshyficer Reithel assured tficm that theres just as many tnalefemale as malemale couples having sex in the park Furdier hc said diat 90 percent of arrests in public parks are made for drugs not sex

Some in thc audience voiced concem that the police used harassment as a way to get gay men to leave parks Officer Reithel assured die audience that he would not use harassment in the public parks He conceded however that hc could not account for thc actions of other officers He said that most o f the deputies in the parks arc new people Th is is dicir first year

Stephen Price o f d i e AIDS Rochester Out shyreach Program said that there ptobably are some police officers w h o are homophobic but that We are intent in s tar t i t^ a dialogue with an issue that is divisive Were happy that the police are willing to come and talk to us and work with us

Price and other outreach workers fiom AIDS Rochester regulariy go to the parks to hand out condoms and lubricants They even leave them stashed behind bushes J e n y Ulled also of AIDS Rochester is concerned that men leave used condoms behind which children could

Gays in t h e p a r k a r laquo pe r fec t t a rge t s mdash t h e y usual ly w a n shyd e r in da rk places and o f t en ca r r y m o n e y o n t h e m i n a v ideo shown a t t h e A I D S Rochester -sponsored ga^ sashyl o n gay bashers and k i l le rs w e r e i n t e r v i e w e d T h e y said

t h a t t hey w e n t t o places w h e r e t h e y k n e w gay m e n w e r e c ru is ing inc lud ing pub l ic parks

4 S ^ i ^ ^ IMAGINE A WHOLE NEW WAY TO SHOP FOR

PAINT PAPER iigt BUNDS bull WALLCOVERINGS Imagine a store with over 10000 rolls of paper in-stock and a library of over IIOQ

bull PAB^rrs A store that carries 10000 designer colors made by Muralo reg amp other manushyfacturers bull C O M P L E T E I N T E m O R S A store that includes departments in hard floors carpet drapes amp the l a t e s t window treatments selection in Upstate N e w York

bull SERVICE And imagine that this store features nine professional decorators that can tie your special taste into a fashion statement - at no charge

EM^Sfi^atieen^s ] COUPON GREAT SELECTION AND SAVINGS

I ^^^SAVE $20 OFF your next $100 purdiase of paint I (^) wallpaper or bUnds

ROCHESTER 14laquo0StPlMdSt

GREECE 2laquok5 Ridge Rd W

72341500

FAIRPORT 121SMidnSt 2234000

L nn

CABIN TO CASTLE CaipentfyMasoary

Firee Estiinaies

CHUCK GURUS (716)766-5138 4 PM-10 PM -QAY-FRIENIXy

find Contacting men in public parks is one way that AIDS Rochester outreach workers can spread the word about safe sex Ulled said that men who have sex with other men often don t identify as being gay and that it is diffishycult to access them Outreach workers have to go where the men are

Both the police and those at AIDS Rochesshyter try to stress that sexual cruising in public parks and restrooms is a dangerous business Gays in the parks are perfect targets mdash they usually wander in dark places and often carry money on them In a video shown at the AIDS Rochester-sponsored salon gay bashers and killers who had been arrested were interviewed They said that diey went to places where they knew gay men were cruising including public parks

Officer Reithel stated that there are 16 depushyties assigned to thc public parks And he put an end to the rumor that if one of those police officers wete undercover and a person asked him if he were an undercover cop that he would have to answer yes It s like a drug bust he said Youre not going to tell the potential seller that youre an undercover cop

Why do men want to have public sex There arc as many answers as there are men ou t there in parks and restrooms Some say for the thrill some say there are few other places to meet men and some say that it is a gay cultural ri te Some arc married men from the subshyurbs who do not think of themselves as gay and do not regard themselves as part of the gay community

WiHiAtn KcUy a locai sex therapist sees some men who are troubled or whose partshyners are troubled or who arc referred by the courts after being arrested for public lewdshyness But Kelly thinks there might be a double standard forhomosexuals If its two men its an abomination What thc press likes to do is to put it into some kind of moral deviance Gay men that engage in public sex are not

likely to suffer from personality disorders any more than heterosexuals he said

Kellys therapy relies heavily o n i n t r o d u d r ^ his clients t o other gay men in a social setting or using a buddy or mentoring system H e calls this positive sponsorship If a client does have a psycholc^cal basis fbr his public sexual behavior such as obsessive compulsive disorshyder antidepressants will be tried and slowdy changing the clients rituab will b e a t tempted

Some members of the commuruty are judgshymental o f o thers w h o e n g s ^ in public sex Kelly says that those w h o stigmatize others diink Those guys are worse than me I might want to d o the same He thinks that there should bc more places designated for this activity that are not public In his opinion arresting people in the parks for public sex is not really going to stop it

I don t think you change people s behavior that way I don t fault the police I think people have the right to go to the park and no t see other people having sex But I m always conshycerned when people get shamed For some people it destroys them In some places in the country though I m not aware of it happening here men w h o have gotten arrested were so shamed that it led to suicide Kelly said

There arc many who are unabashedly in favor of public sex Eric Bellmann local artist teacher columnist and observer o f t h e intershynational gay scene is one H c says that there has always been public sex and that theres nothing ^arrong -with it teuro t doesn t ivirt anyone else

UntiI thc culture accepts homosexuats more power to chose who have public sex To take the posture that ifyoure a good litde boy the people in charge will bc nice to you is absurd Nu t s to rhat Only this culture has the goofv ideas about sex it has We are anti-sensual and older cultures are more relaxed toward sex Bellmann said

-

$

M bull r

-

Fer informitiort and bookingi contact

POBox 936 Syracuse NY 13201 (315)382-2222 witdnrti 23iunocom

Blue Sunday Used Books amp Coffee House Saturday July 17 900pm -1100pm 3118 E Henrietta Rd Rochester (716) 334-4415 admission $100

~laquoc-- i^jnraquoirilaquoorriitfll

bullaC gtlaquo(bullbull

A I O T H E E M P T Y e L O S E T J U L Y 1 9 9 9 amp -R 3 i 5 T H E E M ^ P T Y C L O S E T A l l

Lf t t tors contlniMMl from p 2

w o m a n in prison I have been at tempting t o pu t some writings

in o tder t o send to the E C for possible pubshylication A s time passed and I prepared I also waited daily for that first letter o f reply to my free personal ad placed in the E C yet to date no t one person has replied

It became clear that before I could share with E C readers stories about Ufe for gays in prison I d have to a t tempt to wake the readirrs up to o the r matters

In the May 1999 issue of thc EC on thc front cover was a story tided Vandals Attack G A G V Another headline in the same May issue stated The Rainbow Peace Keepers guard Buffalo gays and ano the r (in the Newsfronts section) read Suspect pleads guilty in Shepard killing

D o you see thc pattern here Its clear people are acdng ou t toward gays in society H o w long will g ^ be the victims of such acts I d o know that wc would n o doubt receive more respect and acceptance if we would start respecting and accepting each other

As gays we all know of verba abuse and being judged in a n ^ a d v e manner only be cause we arc gay It s clear that my not teoowv ing any sor t of reply to my personal ad was no t because I was judged gay but because Fm an inmate This double standard certainly needs looking at How can wc dislike being judged because we are gay yet without thought judge another gay pgterson because they are in prison You might be surprised to know that I love hurt smile and laugh just as you

In my life as a gay bo th in and out of prison

I have seen gays judge other gays daily If wc d o not s top this within ourselves certainly aonlaquogays will only continue to treat us as ihey do

It seems to nongays that if one is gay t n d in prison right away they assxune one is in prison for a sexual crime toward a child Just as non-gays believe if two gays adopt a child that child will be sexually abused thete are the gays w h o quickly reject another gay because they arc in prison

How can we condemn non-gays judging xis if we judge each otheri^ If we want respect and acceptance from non-gays we must first leam to show that toward our gay brothers and sisters

I have lots to share about thc gay life in prison Ive seen relationships that lasted more years behind bars than many in society IVc seen the suffering arui pain one often must deal with from other inmates and prison staff heard the sad cries of help as a stronger prisshyoner sexually assaulted a weaker (^soner I have stories that will bting tears of joy or wake you t ^ t o thc reality oflifc for a gay person in pristHi

^ r i t e a gay inmate in prison Give him that sntde wHtare o n e seldoin seems to be Give ths t jEar person someone they can share with as a eav If vou woukl like to read more of life ^^ g^ys io prison d rop me a Une

Be gay and proud R o b e r t G r a n t 94B2058 W C F B-99-12 P O B o x 1187 A l d e n N V 14004-1187

One Call for All

I t w Cwt

OonuMAg

CmbnUan

The Rochester Center for Massage Therapy 625 Panorama Trail Building 1

Rochester New York 14625 716-248-9010

Appointments from 7 am to 8 pm Gift Certificates Available

Ted Collins Tree amp Landscape 8(X)0 Victor Mendon Road Victor NY 14564 716-381-9000924-7105 Keying our Communtty Creen since 1957

^

SPECIALS M O N D A Y

2 for I

L A B A T T S N i g h t

TUESPAY $2 Wel l amp Domestic

9pm - lam

W E D N E S D A Y 2 for I Wel l amp Domestic

9-1 am

T H U R S D A Y Canadian I m p o r t N igh t $ I off ALL Canadian Beer

Spm - lam

FRIDAY KEITHS

HAPPIEST HOURS Well amp Domestic $100

4pm - 6pm

153 L i b e r t y P o l e W a y

7 1 6 - 2 3 2 - 4 7 1 9

web page httpwwwnetaccnet~tara

Saturday A f t e rnoons

3-8pnn Food Specials $100 Buds

FROZEN _ CoCKTAIL5

S U N D A Y Happy H o u r 12-8

$2 We l l amp Domestk

M o n - S a t H A F F V H O U R

Noon - Spm

Daiquiris Pina Coladas Margaritas Rum Runners

bull Featuring Island Oasis

laquo

Swinnwear Contest amp Prizes

mf fbllovring tKe

8 - 12pm 2 f o r 1 speciaJ

follo-wlnlti t h e

Picnic D a n c i n g o n t h e D e c k

W i t h D J CUf f

6 - 12pm D r i n k Spec ia ls S O ^ D r a i t s

^

Mk e^-J^o^i-^

Gay men and public sex [ ]

^ S c o t t F f a h c r ^

l l u t people have been h m n g s e x in theout-of-doois fc^cemurim indeed^since the beginntng of h u m a a cmfi2ationraquo should be a sutprise to

no ooe O u t d o o r sex was the n o n n when ttibes of wandenog people herding animals and Ihr-ing in c e m p o i ^ Bhelters probably sought pti-vacy away from ampinily rcladves in woods 6eids

and odier wilderness areas Thoseo f us who are members o f die Woodstock generadon reshymember wben it was common to see or at least hear o f people w h o werc in die woods get t ing it on Thir ty years fl^ arid more public sex ^ayed a role in die lives of m e n w h o had nowhere d s e t o meet excepc in gay bats which were regulariy raided by police

Today in these times of gay bashings and AIDS public anonymous sex is a different ballgame altogether Many in the gay commushynity have s tood with police depar tments who are trying to pu t an e n d to public sex especially in public parks and restrooms In June AIDS Rochestcr held a salon entided Public Sex aod the Police SgL Cheryl Franks of the Rochester Police Depar tment and Officer Bill Reithel o f thc Monroe County Sheriffs Deshypar tment Parks Patrol fielded questions from a moderately-sized audience about public sex and the law

Officer Reithel gave the defmition o f public sex as doing anything where the public can

sec you Even in your own home youre still subject to arrest if someone can see you engagshying in any kind of sexual act To make the gay men in the audience not feel singled out Ofshyficer Reithel assured tficm that theres just as many tnalefemale as malemale couples having sex in the park Furdier hc said diat 90 percent of arrests in public parks are made for drugs not sex

Some in thc audience voiced concem that the police used harassment as a way to get gay men to leave parks Officer Reithel assured die audience that he would not use harassment in the public parks He conceded however that hc could not account for thc actions of other officers He said that most o f the deputies in the parks arc new people Th is is dicir first year

Stephen Price o f d i e AIDS Rochester Out shyreach Program said that there ptobably are some police officers w h o are homophobic but that We are intent in s tar t i t^ a dialogue with an issue that is divisive Were happy that the police are willing to come and talk to us and work with us

Price and other outreach workers fiom AIDS Rochester regulariy go to the parks to hand out condoms and lubricants They even leave them stashed behind bushes J e n y Ulled also of AIDS Rochester is concerned that men leave used condoms behind which children could

Gays in t h e p a r k a r laquo pe r fec t t a rge t s mdash t h e y usual ly w a n shyd e r in da rk places and o f t en ca r r y m o n e y o n t h e m i n a v ideo shown a t t h e A I D S Rochester -sponsored ga^ sashyl o n gay bashers and k i l le rs w e r e i n t e r v i e w e d T h e y said

t h a t t hey w e n t t o places w h e r e t h e y k n e w gay m e n w e r e c ru is ing inc lud ing pub l ic parks

4 S ^ i ^ ^ IMAGINE A WHOLE NEW WAY TO SHOP FOR

PAINT PAPER iigt BUNDS bull WALLCOVERINGS Imagine a store with over 10000 rolls of paper in-stock and a library of over IIOQ

bull PAB^rrs A store that carries 10000 designer colors made by Muralo reg amp other manushyfacturers bull C O M P L E T E I N T E m O R S A store that includes departments in hard floors carpet drapes amp the l a t e s t window treatments selection in Upstate N e w York

bull SERVICE And imagine that this store features nine professional decorators that can tie your special taste into a fashion statement - at no charge

EM^Sfi^atieen^s ] COUPON GREAT SELECTION AND SAVINGS

I ^^^SAVE $20 OFF your next $100 purdiase of paint I (^) wallpaper or bUnds

ROCHESTER 14laquo0StPlMdSt

GREECE 2laquok5 Ridge Rd W

72341500

FAIRPORT 121SMidnSt 2234000

L nn

CABIN TO CASTLE CaipentfyMasoary

Firee Estiinaies

CHUCK GURUS (716)766-5138 4 PM-10 PM -QAY-FRIENIXy

find Contacting men in public parks is one way that AIDS Rochester outreach workers can spread the word about safe sex Ulled said that men who have sex with other men often don t identify as being gay and that it is diffishycult to access them Outreach workers have to go where the men are

Both the police and those at AIDS Rochesshyter try to stress that sexual cruising in public parks and restrooms is a dangerous business Gays in the parks are perfect targets mdash they usually wander in dark places and often carry money on them In a video shown at the AIDS Rochester-sponsored salon gay bashers and killers who had been arrested were interviewed They said that diey went to places where they knew gay men were cruising including public parks

Officer Reithel stated that there are 16 depushyties assigned to thc public parks And he put an end to the rumor that if one of those police officers wete undercover and a person asked him if he were an undercover cop that he would have to answer yes It s like a drug bust he said Youre not going to tell the potential seller that youre an undercover cop

Why do men want to have public sex There arc as many answers as there are men ou t there in parks and restrooms Some say for the thrill some say there are few other places to meet men and some say that it is a gay cultural ri te Some arc married men from the subshyurbs who do not think of themselves as gay and do not regard themselves as part of the gay community

WiHiAtn KcUy a locai sex therapist sees some men who are troubled or whose partshyners are troubled or who arc referred by the courts after being arrested for public lewdshyness But Kelly thinks there might be a double standard forhomosexuals If its two men its an abomination What thc press likes to do is to put it into some kind of moral deviance Gay men that engage in public sex are not

likely to suffer from personality disorders any more than heterosexuals he said

Kellys therapy relies heavily o n i n t r o d u d r ^ his clients t o other gay men in a social setting or using a buddy or mentoring system H e calls this positive sponsorship If a client does have a psycholc^cal basis fbr his public sexual behavior such as obsessive compulsive disorshyder antidepressants will be tried and slowdy changing the clients rituab will b e a t tempted

Some members of the commuruty are judgshymental o f o thers w h o e n g s ^ in public sex Kelly says that those w h o stigmatize others diink Those guys are worse than me I might want to d o the same He thinks that there should bc more places designated for this activity that are not public In his opinion arresting people in the parks for public sex is not really going to stop it

I don t think you change people s behavior that way I don t fault the police I think people have the right to go to the park and no t see other people having sex But I m always conshycerned when people get shamed For some people it destroys them In some places in the country though I m not aware of it happening here men w h o have gotten arrested were so shamed that it led to suicide Kelly said

There arc many who are unabashedly in favor of public sex Eric Bellmann local artist teacher columnist and observer o f t h e intershynational gay scene is one H c says that there has always been public sex and that theres nothing ^arrong -with it teuro t doesn t ivirt anyone else

UntiI thc culture accepts homosexuats more power to chose who have public sex To take the posture that ifyoure a good litde boy the people in charge will bc nice to you is absurd Nu t s to rhat Only this culture has the goofv ideas about sex it has We are anti-sensual and older cultures are more relaxed toward sex Bellmann said

-

$

M bull r

-

Fer informitiort and bookingi contact

POBox 936 Syracuse NY 13201 (315)382-2222 witdnrti 23iunocom

Blue Sunday Used Books amp Coffee House Saturday July 17 900pm -1100pm 3118 E Henrietta Rd Rochester (716) 334-4415 admission $100

~laquoc-- i^jnraquoirilaquoorriitfll

bull A ilaquolaquogt ilt jv MWliimdashl f a n AMVWdMKV) raquo laquo U

N U M raquo E R 3 1 5

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AI2 T H E E M P T Y C L O S B T

DC Pr ide and Dyke Marches ce lebrate queer ident i ty By Bil iUo W o l f Q u M r s o f D C I i n M i t h e 17th St 4W in the Dupont Q r d e area on June 12 to view the cofnmenclaquoment of their week4ong claquolebr tion of pride

The weeks events were suited to every flavor ofthe conwnuni^ The festivities ended with the Pride Mardi through the streets of DC from 24th and N Sc N W around Dupont around Logan Q r d e and ending at the Pride Festival Site Pennsylvania and 9th

The parade passed 17th Sc with a ^ r y of color and represented nia|or GLBT groups of the DC area plus groups from NYC and Atlanta After the parade passed a sea of queer bodies flooded the streets to follow to the Pride Street festival site

The festival was islands of tents in the sea of bodies Performers sang and t d d jokes people undaunted by the f i ^ u e n t thunder-showers browsed the many pride exhibits and LGBT organization booths For many i t was a time of friendship renewal merriment and meeting new acquaintances

I n h e r k iss I t a s t e t h e

r e v o l u t i o n By Billijo Wolf After a half hour delay over 600 dykes took to the streets in the second annual Washingshyton DC Dyke March sponsored by the DC Lesbian Avengers

The delay was caused by the D C Police because of fyhire by the DC Lesbian Avengshyers to obtain a nrarch permic It is the drect action policy of the Avef^ers to march and protest without permits Organizer Kim Langston and her partner Nikki negotiated with the police for the march to continue with minor alterations in the route

The march representing diversity and evshyery dyke lifestyle traveled from Washington Cirde up Pennsylvania Avenue and continshyued on M Screet through Georgetown to Wisconsin up P Street and ended at Dupont Cirde In tte heart of DCs predominantiy queer neighborhood The police directed the part of the march through Georgetown from the street to the sidewalk An Army of Dykes some chanting a few drumming and many carrying explicit signs took over the sidewalk amplifying the display of dyke force unity love and power The action dosed at the Dupont Q r d e with the traditional Lesshybian Avengers ritual of eating f i re

This ritual honors two queers^ a lesbian and a gay man in a wheelchair killed in Oregon in 1992 when their home was firebombed The fire eating and the chant The fire virtli not consume us mdash we take it and make it our own symbolizes dyke love unity and strength This was a fitting end to a well-organized and well-tumed-out visible celebration of pride and dyke power by the DC Lesbian Avengers

T H E E M P T Y C L O S E T AI3 -bulllaquor

DC PFLAG at the PHde march on June 12

Women at the Dyke March on June 11 sponsored by Lesbian Avengers

60 Browns Race - 262-2700 Overlooking the High Falis Gorge

Across from Kodak on State Street

Please check Frontier Field events special hours

Open Al l Year Lunch Mon-Fri 1130 am - 2 pm

Dinner Mon-Thurs 5 -10 pm Fri amp Sat 5 -11 pm

Reservations Recommended Gift Certificates Always Available

Cotntnff F m n M CSMyL 1 Off State Street

2 Riil oflaquoo Phrtt Street 3 fVghl onto Brotwns Race 4 Foiow cobblestone drive

5 Partdng iB available in the partdng g a r i ^ or after 4 pm on the left just past the buiMing

Free parfcir^ aft^r 4 pm The Easy Rider slMtlle slops directly at our doort

HCHMLtS CSfTER bull

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ME O^ COLOR HEALTH AWARENESS PROJECT Viede^U t U t 6 ^ j4mHMai

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Saturday At40$euroSt I i

1100 A M - raquo30 PA^ at QmtMsss ttdi0igt PattTs t U d Cr t s t i Pav l i i oH Join u g f o f i ^ W t d atmttai picnit in t tU paf^ Omfoy thm $tvraquoic a i i

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Certified Gemologist Appraiser

14 Reynolds Arcode 16 Main Street East Rochester New Yortt 14614

Ptxxie 546-7074

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FINANCIAL SERVICES

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James E Orrito PhD

A FULL SERVICE C O M M O D I T Y BROKER with solid techiucal research and 18 years experience Cal l and see tihe difference (716)777-4030 Futures trading involves a high degree q risk It nuof not be suitable Jbr everyone

LinscoPrivate Ledger Member NASDSIPC

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I W A L K O N W A L K O N Ovlaquor 1400 pwpllaquo marched on June 6 in t iw 1999 AIDSWallc raising $130000 to support thlaquo p r ^ r a r m and slaquorvicaa ofAIDS Kodilaquostlaquor

Above volunteers cool off at Cobbs Hill Paric after the 10 k pledge walk Below members of the Gay Mens Chorus tap dance for AIDSWalkers in front of the Avenue Pub

IF YOURE O U T A T N I G H T W E A R W H I T E Below dancers herald the arrival of summsr at thc Memorial Day Weekend White Party at Muthers

A Historic CivU War Home BuUt in 1861

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VALLEY Q ^ BED amp BREAKFAST

CONfE A N D ENJOY A DINING EXPERIENCE

ChefInnkeeper Richard BuzzBaUey

Senting Lur-h 11 am till 230 pm Tuesday tfirou^ Friday

Dinner 430 ptn till 830pm Ttiesday through Saturday

Simday Brunch 1030 a-m till 230 pm

Dinner Sunday 3 pm till pm Closed Mondays

4 GUE ST ROOMS

Casual Attire Wdcomed Reservations Suggested

71 E Bu f fa lo S t Wa i saw NY lt71S)7S6lt3S20

lOmUesrom Letchworth State Park

h 4506 Cnlver Ruad

323-1690 Near Seabreeze Park

Opea Taesday-SaMay

U o f R I n te r f a i t h Chapel

Connmitinent Ceremonies

Chapel Accorvmoodates 500

Ceremony Coordinator

call 275-4321 for more information

Freewheefers BICYCLE STORE S REPAIR CENTER

SERVICE EXCLUSIVES emble biket from scrofch becoute focfory ottembly

t proper lubricofion olignmenf and intpecfion

0 new bicycle ond receive Iifefime free moinfenonce

FREEWHEELERS SELLS TERR PRECISION BIKES FOR WOMEN - SPORTS EQUIPAENT THAT ftTS

IRON m i M NORCO - STOWE gt M i S

KOii BICYCLES ARE NOW IN STOCK

1757 M l Hope Avenue (n vxt to ROWO PK Roci iestei iMY 1^620 ^ 7 1 6 - ^ 7 3 ^ 7 2 ^

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m a n Elton John in Rochester T H E E M P T Y C L O S E T A15

June 16 laquofi It waft

since t h e retum _^^ ing songi hitmakingk

^b^m^^ JBlton John performed

Oroas Arena bullppisarancc in Rochester w t e wbo long awaited his

dtt^pCMntcopydSelect-his 30-plu8 years of

mdash ^ - proved hc was still musical ibisteiip b( teckoned with even withshyout the lba^lraquo9iaint and elaborate costumes that tradenHltecl hiseaiiy performances

Elton ^ p ^ was botn R ^ n a i d Kenneth Dwight 5|t | U | | b ^ t o En^and and began his love for ^ ^ ^ ^ 4 pound w ^ fbur After dropping

i^Kfcmy of Music to pursue met fjfridst Bemie Taupin

^ a Loifdon psq^er in 1967 Through dw t^TOs tiie duo garnered huge success wklk l i t e like Rocket Man The Bitch is Btckj bullBcnnic and thc Jets and Your Soflg^)i4ikb has eventitally become a signature pieceibr him

The 80a^8laquoNii poundlt)dn|Dtm in a low-key mode musically m j with more persona challenges He revealed to Rplb^Sittm magazine in 1976 that he was ys^xiial but decided to marry in 1984 Thc mamage lasted only four years and

out of a rock through ttl

by the late bullSOs his personal Hfe was spinning out of control through substance abuse

John befriended AIDS activist Ryan White and when White died in 1990 performed at his fiineral Realizing his Ufe had to change he went for rehab soon afterward He also con-fimicd that he was actually gay and not bi In 1992 he decided all proceeds from singles would be donated to the newly formed Elton John AIDS Foundation

At his Rochester concert on June 16 J o h n played a total of 26 songs easily enough to cover a two CD set Most of the audience reacted best to his most well-known songs singing along on Levon and Daniel alshythough the best song I felt was the moving and cautionary Ticking

In an era of continued closet hiding for many musicians Elton John is the shining example that proves the faultiness of that old ttadition of hiding ones sexuality for success and respectability Years after coming out as gay he continues to be one ofthe most monushymental forces in music He thrilled the Rochesshyter audience as he has worldwide becoming thc most successful crossover gay musician today Hopefully more gay and lesbian artists will follow hivS lead

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C e l e b r a t i n g P r i d e Below and lefc The Roch^KSter Gay Mens Chonis performed their summer concert at che Schoo of che Arcs on June 19 Specia e s c Draquovid Setttdsi f rom Canada is shown be^ow

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WINTER BLIZZARD After the Picnic Blowoul

DINOSAUR TEA DANCE

S U N D A Y

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JULY 1999

^owanna VadcHtudc Serves up her ^rnious

Bloody Marys 4pin-7pm

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$150 Rolling Rocks 1 9

Free PIZZA

Bring in your CDs a friend or some tunes 2 6

N O C O V E R

5|^5 13

with DJHector

10pm-2am

$2 Imports 2 0

Corona - Amstd Lite Labatf s - Moison

Dos Equis bull Guinness Red Stripe 27

N O C O V E R

8

with DJ Damian

14

1130pm-1230am

HOTTEST SPOT IN

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N O C O V E R

15

with DJTraxx ^ 22 2 f o r 1

10pm - 2am

25 flavors o f ooM bottled beer 2 9

N O C O V E R

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23 10pm-2am

with DJs Henry amp DJoyB ^ ^

N O C O V E R

3 SUKEMDOWN

SATUROMTSl $ 5 - A l i the draft

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31 N O C O V E R

I N D O

INDEPENDENCE DAY 4

Shltraquowtime 11pm DJ Sammy

$3

G R Q L B F presents a special fundraiser

Miss Muthers Consuela presents -THE DATING QAME

All proceeds to benefit Pride WE f o r t h e QRQLBF

$3

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vow-our Free Draft DJHector

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$100 C u b M K

T imb wHI be in August$2S0 QRAflD $ 3 bull ^

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Ring in tlic Millennium New Year at Muthers Tickets on sale f o r $ 1 0

s ta r t i ng in Augus t

100fe GENERATION GAY FOR INFO ON SHOWS

Contact Consuete at (716) 271-5783

40 Sowtti Union Street RDCh^DIY14iQ7US^

HAPPY HOUR bull 7 DAYS A W L F K 4pm pr gt i i bull

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H A i m T O U M h ^ Y H K BCACPTSiare i t with the rest of the gay community The Empty Qo$cc Is always looking for information regarding events and soctai activides if you know somadiing sand it to us Submissions are due by the I Sth of each month at The Empty C k M t 179 Atlantk Avlaquo^ Rochester NY 14607-1255 Or call 244-9030

Colunmists Dyke Psyche Esther Rothblum interviews musician AlixDobkit i

P A G E BI8

Calendar bull Check out thc complete list of

Pride Week events here July 14-18

PAGEBI2

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Gay Groups bull A Rochester chapter of the

political action g roup Lesbian Avengers is forming

P A G E B2

Check it out bull Enter ta inment Night l i fe Opinshy

ion Why don t Blacks and whites socialize together

S E C T I O N

Coming up

Suzanne Morgan wil l portray Alice in Wonderland

WildWinr imin host^ Maeurolfea Farty fundraiser July 25 Enjoy elegant desserts aiul tea served in a lovely garden Wear your favonte hat and join in a rousinggame of croquette Witness actual scenes as Alice herself recalls her adventures m Wonshyderland Where and when you ask

O n Sunday J uly 25 at 2 pm at 35 Argyle St when Wild Wimmin Theatre Company hosts their Srst annual Mad Hatter Garden Tea Party

We wanted a fundraiser chat was unusual and entertaining says Sharon Jeter artistic director of the company The originai idea of a dessert event came from a good ftiend and thc planning committee just expanded on it The garden party evohred into a Mad Hatter theme jusd the rest just foUowed

Members of thc Wild Wimmin Company will serve desserts and portray an array of characters from the original ^ ^ laquo WamptttMojtti story led by Suzanne Morgan who will bring Alice herself to life This is definitely a party with a tbeatre aspect rather than a dieatre performance with a party aspect The guests will be able to sodalize and enjoy rcfreshmeitts while scenes from the story are reinacted at various times throughout thc afternoon Those attending are aft iced to wear their fovorite hat as there will be prizes for the most original the lazgest-and the most practical

The tea party comes jtist three months after the dosing of the wikOy successful Z ioir IDMMM

IFMn^^ i6tf J M I I igtKtf The company tealized the need for this type of evem Willi the decision to expand their 1999-2000 season to thcee full leii^th piays and one st^iDd leadings

T h i s is a first for us says Jeter During our fitat fbur yeais we haive het^ m a prodiac-tion sdieduie of fust two ptays per yeai^ but oor audiences bave bete asldqg for moie An ez-paoded pcodncdoo scfagdule tequna an ex-pafkded bodlget Royalties aod tfaeatie leasing akioe w ^ qBlaquot ovorf^OOO tlus cont f^ aeasoo Add to the coat o f aets costsanes and pdDCMg attd we ate ampr fimn our tnttable be-giniiiiigMa 499S when ^HMaa earned a total

TWf^lnt^UbtfSfimSfalsar^rlmafeC^uc Rim Festivai onjuly 29 at Utde Theatre One

laquo ^ ^ ^ mdash _ _ - _ mdash ^ ^ e j u f y 2 9 Atnish^taUj^d^di^qui^^ hotn j3CK^]ViQsuejtf^^4 are just a few ofthe obstades

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- - gt ^ 5 H ^ ^ ^ Gaj^pbcil) tries ovit a local gay bar seemingly looking for - fOlaquoM^j^ Stances with Mark (John Paul Pitoc) a musoilar go-

^pf$ltbtauntt)t4^both find each other in thc same subway car later that night Your km b o y i i ^ i ^ thong^^fabnelthinksj

Qri evenings events for Gabriel and Madt and thats when the real fun

ic own foe ampquickcoxtsummadon they encounter one barrier after cdgiDl over their oneioom apartment for his own

tfiiand|i rjhp raquo buaUy preparing for her all-female off-off-off ^^^lOili^^^to^t^lA^ doesnt seemtp get the hint Then theres

Wa|9BfdgtGilt^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ d ^ M p k ttad Gabrid persevere and that steamy n ^ t of sex seems

^cc^ip|i |^jcir^]^^ thetwo r^l i^s^^ieiraquoj^ and fiUed with memorable scenes^ induding cal pijugtltg^kilraquoCM^ Christian Campbell makes for a believable

wbps^dijp^ti^^ eyes arid demeanor tell a different tale o f the real bull bull ^ ^ s

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budget of S400 We need to be prepared so that we can continue to present the hig^ qualshyity professional productions our audiences are accustomed to

Anyone who wishes to support the efforts of Rochesters first and only all-female theatre company is invited to attend this event Howshyever attendance will be United to 150 so it is important that you reserve your spot eariy Thc Mad HafrrCatt tmT^Patt^m^nmtoiri 2 to S p0x on Sundayjuly 25 in the g^cden at 35 Aigyle Sc at East Ave In the event of inclement weather the event will be held inshyside Susan Heidts beautiful histotk bouse The cost is $ t 0 per incfividnal and StSi ie t couple Resacvatiofla may be aoade liy caltiag 654T09-

irvuigeOiit Fi lm Festival news a iiKifve amp a j i i ly inovie Moiie volunteets moce shows aod now moce

space Due to the generous support ftom the LGBT community and its friends and the desire to locate in an accessible building (with an elevator and convenient parking) the ImageOut Film Festival office is now at the Village Gate

It is on d)e second floor of 302 North Goodman S t (the beige brick building with the t r iat^es at the top) Enter through the double doors across the courtyard from the BopoporfTomparidiaieaAdttoug^the door under Mack Gtoeniogs mural Eye to eye over a cup

H i e Inu^eOut tdephone number (271-264C^acxl fraquoc number (271-3798) cematn the sacne but the new mailingaddcess ts Im^eOut 302 North Goodman Scraquo Box 29 Rochesier N Y 146071149

Join Icna^eOut the Empire Scate Pride Agenda die GAGV and Come Ouc And Play for tfae Bcaak a Sweat for Prida Qdaiwe^^afcy oo Friday July 16 at Hie Gate a aew club locaied at 444 Cermal Ave at tfae coiner of

Trick contintAed on nlaquox t page

Ormond St (the former site of the Spaghetri Warehouse) Sec InuigeOut marching in the Pride Parade and at the Cultural Festival on July 17 and visit the Film Fesdval tent at the Pride Picnic on J uly 18 at Genesee Valley Park

The ImageOut summerrime film event will bc pre-release screening of Tridt starring Tori Spelling and Sean Campbell (see the film review above) at the Litde Theatre on Thursshyday July 29 Tickets arc $10

T t o year ImageOut will bc a week eariier than last year The Fesdval will open on Friday Oct 8 at The Litde Theatre and close on Saturday Oct 16 at the Dryden Theatre ImageOut is adding a late evening show at the Dryden Theatre for a total of four shows there

Poetry for Pride T h e G ^ A i y a n c e will host Generation Q a reading to celebrate GayLesbianBisexual Pride Week on Thurscky July 15 at 7 pjn at the GAGV Conununity Center 179 Adandc Ave

C o m k i g u p contii i ist td o n iMxt fMftt

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2 1 A N D O V E R O N L Y -^have your s ta te ID ready a t t h c door bull S E C U R t T Y O N

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T H E E M P T Y C L O S B T

Conning up continued f rom p BI The local poets and prose writers who will

perform indude Beth Bailey Jack Bradigan Spula John Coakley Sharon Jeter and other members of thc Wild Women theater troupe SusanJordanTony Leuzzi and Michde Spring-Moore Thc reading will be sign language intershypreted and the first fioor of tbe Gay AUiance building has a wheelchair Uft and an accessible restroom The event is free although donashytions for the Gay Alliances pride celebradon activities will be collected

For more information call thc GAGV at 244-8640

Out on video 4 Very Noturo Thing B y L e w O j e d a A Ver^ Natttnd Tbittg Director Christopher Laridn Starring Robert Joel Curt Gareth Bo White

As a r^ular featuce in thc E i t t ^ 0lt Wflaquo I will be reviewing films available for rental or purshychase on video hig^ilighting the gay lesbian and bisexual experietKe I Kgtpe to concentrate on films that are not as generally wdl known as coirunerdal rdeases

More than 25 years have passed since the theatrical rdease of ^ Very Naittral Thiitg the first nationally distributed inde|gtendent film by an openly gay director When first rdeased this fiim caused such controversy both with straight critics and with some gay audiences that its prospects for box office success were all but crushed But watching the film with some hindsight should prove quite revealing not only because this seemingly simple story is very well written and acted but aiso lgtccause it presents provocative ideas about relationships and sexual identity that Hollywood still can^t touch

The film stars Robert J o d as David a former monk turned teacher who meets Mark an insurance salesman (played by Curt Gareti^) in a bar fails in Aove-4Ad eventually ^moves ki-with him As Vito Russo author af the great

baolc on Hatiyv^oampd fiims The t e dnoMi ltSios0f cJcveriy points out David and Niark go through their eariy married period in a giddy parody of Ljove Stoty rolling through the leaves watchitig each other shave and making love to a swelling melodramatic soundtrack Just as with numershyous hetero movies probletns arise Mark doesnt want to be tied down and David shows signs of excessive neediness

They try to mend their relationship by exshyperimentation but visits to Fire Island bath houses and orgies dont hdp and the union is permanendy damaged David is then forced to reevaluate what he really wants as he begins falling in love with a divorced photographer named Jason (Bo White)

Much of the movie may have todays audishyences wondering what the big deal was about Its basicaUy a very taiky movie one in which the nature of love relationships and sexual politics are discussed with characters comfortshyably seated In fact someone could invent quite a drinking game by imbibing every time David says Lets talk This is a movie about ideas and in part because it is viewed as the first important American gay lib film from a gay filmmaker perhaps it was pressured to achieve too much Straight audiences had to bc convinced thatgajrs have thc very same probshylems with rdadonships as heterosexual couples

and gay audiences needed to be placated with a strong sense of pride for who they were

The latter point could be a reason why intershyviews with real gays and lesbians during a pride march were tnduded in the iiKtvie Men and women wearing long hair afros and beU botshytoms talking about how important it is to come out may be interesting to watch but in hindshysight I think the interviews actuaUy date die film I kept feding thdr statements were so detached from Larkins screenplay that their indusion panders to viewers sensibiiities and doesnt give a real glimpse into the lives of those brave interviewees who dedded to risk everything and come out Larkin had the right idea by pladitg actors Robert Joel and Bo White within the march but he should have kept die event as a backdrop Uke ditector Haskdl Wexler did in the film MetUtttti CTcewhen he positioned Robert Forster and Vema Bloom in the foreshyground of the 1968 Chicago Rio^

Thc fictional Uves of the characters (espeshycially Davids) arc much morc interesting beshycause they are dynamic David Marie and Jashyson dont live in a world of gay Ub dogqia Instead their Uves arc fiUed with joy uncershytainty and reflection and when compared to most gay characters in mainstream movies are much more human in thdr complexity Igtavids apoUtical nature and Jasons acceptance of a semi-distant rdationship are provocative ideas in movies even today because their decisions and actions do not follow a fonnula by deshymanding compliance just to satisfy the script

This independent thinking is what makes A Very Naitind Thing so important today With mainstream gay movies like Itt cV Out rdeased by a self-congratulating HoUywood its very important to remember that many gay and lesbian independent filmmakers present ideas and attitudes HoUywood stiU shys away from

Thats why we have filmmakers Uke Bruce La Bruce G r ^ Araki and Greta SchiUer And thats why we have Christopher Larkin to thank

T H c k cont f inued f r o m p I

John Paui Pitoc looks and sounds like the guy archetype he is supposed to be on the outside and his no-friUs dcUvery in thc first part ofthe film fits perfecdy with his character However as his character becomes more than just a pretty face (both in die eyes of Gabrid and the audience) Pitoc presents thc mind behind the body and dcUvcrs an impressive feature film debut A definite scenc-stealer in IricJk is Tori SpdUng the loud comic aspiring actress Katherine SpeUings performance is steUar and probably her best to date She takes aU the humorous aspects of thc stereotypical fag hag and blends them with a fast-talking yet goofy actress who has an answer for everyshything

Director Jim Fall a busy New York stage director makes an impressive feature film deshybut with this vibrant urban fairy-tale that afshyfirms the possibiHty oflove in the most unUkdy of circumstances but that does not resort to the usual sap and saccharine ofmany other love stories or date flicks A smatt script clever and insightful acting and a frustratingly funny story Une make TnfJk the summer must-sec ofgay dnema

TtickwiUbc shown atan IncageOut fundraiser pre-release screening (a month before its offishycial opening) on Thursday July 29 at the Ii tde Theatre One For more details caU 271-2640

EntertaHtmentNlghtlife Opinion Racism and the bar scene W h y cant Blacks and whites socialb^e tlt^etiier7

-r~i^-- x-

BySusanJordan lea Major has worked as a bouncer in local bars and dubs fbr 8ltM3e years As an African American hc has observed a radsm endemic not only to Rochester and not only to bars but to institutions througfiout the LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual ttansgender) commushynity and throughout thc country Major feds that it is time to begin a community diak^ue on radsm and other forms of bias so that a new generation ofgays does not continue to rcpUcate among oursdves the prejudiced discrimirutory attitudes and behavior wc so ofien experience from heterosexuals

Major said that he remembers tfae Rochshyestcr bar scene in tbe 70s bullThere waa a lot of radsm diere but you just desdt with it There was no place dse to go (but thc local gay bars) After 13 years In Arizona he returned to the Rochester area in 1992 I come back 13 years later and tts^till hapshypening Why dont bar owners care about certain segments ofthe community

Major said that he worked as a bouncer at a local bar and on one night ofthe week as he puts it AU thc family came out Blacks and whites The whites would stay on one side ofthe bar and the Blacks would go back where thc music was Thc owners denied that there was a problem Major said that bartenders would distinguish not only beshytween Blacks and whites but between what he termed preppie Black Idds and the Itids who look Uke hip-hoppers

Major commented I remember when The Friars and Jims were open in thc 70s Black itids had a hard time getting into both clubs they hadnj^hiye three or four forms of ID to get in while white kids didnt The iaw rcquifcs fust one form of identity Bartenders wouldnt wait on Black customshyers until theyd waited on white customers One time we went to Jims and they wouldnt let us in I went and got 15 to 20 Black kids and we made sure wc all had IDs and they had no choice but to let us in

Major continued Today its different The racism stiU exists but now its more underhand They stiU make you wait for cocktails and serve you lesa than the next (white) person Then thcy complain about tips but why should you tip ifthe bartender isnt being fair Im trying to get the chilshydren in this town to open their eyes and understand were aU going through the same things Black or white White kids shouldnt fear Black kids and Black kids shouldnt feei uncomfortable around whites Thc only thing I can think is that we need to open up and talk to one another Thats thc only way weU get to know each other and leam that yes wc have different cultures but were all the same Wc need to stop bdng so judgeshymental We need to bc morc friendly to try to be more social with one another

When he worked in bars Major said 1 was always the icebreaker and I would ask bodt Black and white Idds why dont you talk to each other and get to know each other Youll find you bave a lot in conunon You work the same jobs shop at the same stores eat at tite same restaurantsHe added I dont underscand it and I want to know why we have so mudt separation in 1999 Lets do something about this

Msforobserved tfaat almost the only event in die wtttte gay oommuoity that draws laige oxtahert o f gays o f cokM is tfae G A G V picnic but even tfaere people tend to stay

Ira Maior

with their friends and there is comparativdy Utde auxif^ between white people and peofMie of color

The dubnight run on Saturdays by Charies Stevens at Gabbys off Chestnut St downshytown is where young Black gays lesbtans and bis arcgoingnow according to Major White kids go there too Major said and Black and white kids get together and party He hopes that the prejudices of an oider generashytion WtU not be passed on^ artd feds that many people in their 20s both Black and white have a different attitude nowadays

Major feds that music is key to bringing people together and says that most Rochesshyter dubs dont play thc music that young Black and Latinoa people are interested in The Black and Hispanic doUar is imporshytant he said They say were only a smaU segment but wed be a larger s^men t if we were offered something Tlie music in bars is more aitemative theyre not playmg Top 40 Black music Its jast Deborah Cox and Whitney HoustonmdashtheyU play that to death but thats aU The Black kids are always asking why that is

Some clubs offer special music on weekshynights to bring in more customers Major asked Ifyou offer countrjwestem nights why not offer urban (soul RampB hiphop world etc) nights or Spanish nights on those slow nights You make suggestions like that and thcy look at you Ukc youre crazy I dont understand what is wrortg wich thc Black or Hispanic or female doUar

Things arc different in New York City Major said That is what New York dubs are doing mdash tnixing white black and Spanish music mdash and theyre fabulous Upstate New Yotk should be iititovative enough to have the NY sound thc Califomia sound DJs should be innovative enough to bring the kids together In the 70s Donna Sununer and Gloria Gaynor and those performers werent mainstream it was just in gay dubs where youd hear them The DJs brought them out DJs should search for the leaUy hot new music today For one thing they dont mix Uke thcy used to They should ce-leam how to mix oot just play rite CD and whats on the radio The music b r i i ^ everybody together

In h o p ^ of starring an ongoing commushyttity dialogue on these issues Major urges any member of tite LGBT community (Black White Asiart Latinoa Native American Padfic Islander etc) cosendcommencs^ideas and suggesttoos on tfae subfect of ovccoMn-ing tadsm within otur ctmunnnity to Lettert to tfae BdiMMr TArJSa^ lt3htt^ 179 Adaotic Avei^ Rocfaester R Y 14607^

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T H E E M P T Y C L O S E T CE

WHEN ITS TOO H P T OUTSIbG COME OOWN

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tancMT the gallery ltMhiticraquo iraquoiio qj re ^alyiijoik^ laquo ^ sells theyre hardly more than peddlers And 1 don t xneaa the iscarcity o f edtiibidoh ^kaces or even shoppers who wheedle for a dtsGotmt Those are givens if youre in the blzraquo you come to know and a c c ^ the ground rules

An artist hopefully at some point in his life is driven by forces call them a passion for beauty and an urgency to express his feelings that can bc compelling When die driving force mens beauty becomes intense theres a chance judgement may falter T h c heart is always fragshyile

Speeding somewhere I cut duough my n e i ^ -borhood park an area favored by casual jogshygers and serious runners Ahead I saw a perfect body short and lean with broad shoulders topped by a mane of bouncing jet black hair I timed as I passed an saw an Asian face -mdash high cheekbones narrow eyes mdash totally concenshytrated Struck by the mans beauty I s topped my car my thoughts racing ahead scrambling for a strategy

I shouted out I want to draw you can you taik to me Through gasps for air he shouted O n c e more around the lake w a i t I waited 30 minutes He should have been back in five I stood mute humiliated my face crimson beshyyond thc heat of the day Hed had my number fog on the make Being an artist snt easy

I accepted the shame because in a way the runner hiraquod been right Motives overiap While I want to make something lovely mdash that is or used to bc what art is aboutlaquo and expression connected to the thing a mans body that I admire mdash there is no way for a stranger a hunk whos probably been hit on more than once to understand So on a sunny summers day instead of feeling happy because thc wpather is fine I sank into gloom

I shouldnt beat up on myself Artists inshyspired by nature walk in thc wood Artists who paint bouquets grow flowers It s only fair only logical that an artist who admires male physical pgtcrfection should seek out beaushytiful men

I fyou want to draw bodies you can take a class and thc models there run the fuil range mosdy in thc wrong direction T h c theory being that ali sizes shapes and ages are wor thshywhile challenge Past thc schooling phase one wants to apply the acquired skills to objects of choice Ove r the years some models have sought me ou t after having seen my work H ip college kids like Mikey an engineering student who was a rock climber and dyed his hair green were the cool types diat could matter-of-facdy handle sittiog around naked (People you know like to expand dieir inventory of O r one may be ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ y

OnliyiiurSiiEhr Blaquoq3laquonirig ai M a n ^ ^

Wornwufpiilt bull^t^Dy4tlaquo^PiycML^_

O n a sunny summer aftemoon as I sat in my of high voltage soap opera car waiting for the signal to t um green I saw a O u r encounters were once or twice a year jogger lope along Winton Road Possessed by and then for a few weeks at a stretch Some-an intuitive impulse I fximbled in my glove times hed wander up at outdoor festival often compartment for my business card Once the with a girlfriend just to say hello light tumed green I changed lanes rolled down I learned he had dropped out of school the passenger window and slowed down I gone on a few years later to the local commu-tapped the car h o m thrust my hand out the nity coUege where hed majored in commercial window and nearly choked managing a casual art He brought me his portfolio a few draw-tone Vd like to use you as a model Fm an ings hed copied from magazines mdash those artist heres my nvimbcr call me Finely were awkward his drawings from life were muscled beautifully tanned graceful he was better His aptitude seemed to bc for design perfect Then a long stretch with no encounters

In the moment it is impossible to untangle O n e day 1 saw him again and we talked about feelings The attraction to physicai beauty is a doing some more drawings When he came horrendous mix of lust and aesthetics For over I gasped at his pierced nipple His legs years I have chosen to make drawings and were smooth shaved His pubic hair neady paintings of men The craft and discipiine of trimmed WTiat are you doing Dancing in making art are rigorous and satisfying Making a club he said with a sly smile Yikes this an has legitimized my homosexuality given it man-child that 1 fett protective about had be-focus and expression Whiie Id never discuss my reasons for making an with a model most of them intuitively seem to understand andit also seems to enjoy their role

l^ ter that afternoon to my astonishment thc youiig nixi phoned t i c caxtic over yenc talked and he agreed to work for me

As it happened his father was an artist and hed g rown up in an environnient that enabled him to appreciate nsy work His parents were

come a go go dancer In a gay bar Hed always said hc liked to dance

The 17-year-old was 25 now not a kid anyshymore He d gone through school moved out on his own -had- a scries of teauonsVups

grow^n up- My rcacrion was a mix o f curiosity and fear I grilled him like a parent

Thc stories he told me werent entirely pleasshymg He liked the money He loved to dance

now estranged he lived with his mother Thcy The spodight appealed to him Gay bars were had recendy tnoved from a small town to a widening theit clientele he coxild actually meet neighborhood not far from my house women while dancing in bars Yet the men

Hc wlaquot 17 1 tt^d him he needed to discuss who stuffed doUars into his g-string were crass my p t epo$ t i with his parents He had the They offered him money for sex A lot of fooliriichlaquommigcltMifidelaquoceof theyoungand money T h e kid Id known since he was a shy

assiund me h e couldiDske fus own decisions Noocdydbstflj^oketiitfa his father We began ^ o d m g W i g f i i m thsc sutBiaer

fwsmaiampr^^pet^Keaat^^axi cause a range of refiectiooff Vou c a n ^ d bsd about not work-

high school drop-out told me hed been disapshypointed by the way people were capable of behaving Yeah weli thats thc way it is but who ever wants to see an innocent collide with the reality My only choice was to accept the

experiences) W h o am I to speculate ifthe guys like Mikey or John my nautilus tn^net were bucidingexhifaitioakc Apound eny x^te sofne like J o h o ^ ^ i ^ k t e r went o n t o mitScaA sdkool became ftiends kept in t o u d i Uxtg after we worked e ^ e t h e r

LeaD4ifnes and good dnies Ref^C^n like t h e trade i laquo laquo r t o l h e p laquo f c c f i h laquo i u p laquo r i t o c l o u b l y bull n c laquo t o f c laquo t i n g h i s body slaquolaquoncdpalpablehis

h laquo n l ^ ^ ^ artiw i bo th an artiraquot laquo laquo amp laquo laquo laquo - laquo laquo laquo laquo laquo raquo ^ ^ ^ laquo ^ f ^ bull laquo deg ^ -

and traquo J i S e ^ a respoose as assent A i n o d d witb a ^ c c d body wfao otAf wants t o m^ce a few bdcfaa xauibe perfecdy adequate A rnodel ndko epin|MiaA|iac3 witfa tfae creative pfoccaa o n tfae olaquol||p|MMKl often cteatca a synlaquogist ic jf^mH^tijif^j^ laquobe al^aiid ^eqeakAy jftie moik-iim^imm^-h^a^ ^ ^ result of a bullColiafaopnivc cfloit bull

SintkBgsttx dflie^nittaoc fa^^^ conunnr dal^ k ikommibtleiemtM ptaiaimiuMtfaimx

ing out more or rue the effects ofagc One may changes in his life Tlie drawings as always

daydream of seduction the cost be damned were fine The next spring I wanted to draw I left one

phone message then another I wasnt troubled He d always drifted in and out of my life I knew I cotdd depend on him

Then a few weeks later after I returned from a vacation I dropped off some film and a de rk in the store came over Vou were a friend of A I know he told me about you Did you hearv4iathaj^gtcned bullNo He dropped dead of an aneurysm before work in his apartshyment

H e was 27

capture on gtaper an essence of perfection frozen in time through the making o fa draw-log T o i ^ calls are what Hfe is about

H i e kid had a body that responded to workshying-out and for reasons I couldnt know he obsessed about thac He went to the gym religiously The pride he took in the achieve-

always r o u t e d

For a gay man w h o had largely considered himself eicduded from the prerogatives of the dominant cultute and free poundroro its constraints a man wfao viewed faimsdf as an oudaw to find faitaadf ta a sitnation in wfaicfa fae opts to be motai teapectfbl faonorable was botfa new aod gratifyifig I wanted tfae experience o f knowing htm of feeling that he liked me I made nice conversation and because fae under-4lood tfaat I was gay and because I didnt fait on

M O C H A Chat

By Stanley Byrd

ipglaquop i f i laquo l S S S g S i laquo ^ laquo r S e r 1raquoilaquolaquo laquoxplaquod him laquoi he alaquocplaquod me o v laquo raquomMMdlaquoMiktllaquoiaaitlMitMBIathesgtdfig montht we belaquome ftiends He had a naiciMraquo-

poundrrsrX^^^ fzszstz3rct trade^--~raquoraquoM^JIJtrade

I nc raAsb ig u n d e r s t a n d i n g Some may take objection to the description of diis country diis dty and diis coihmuxuty as otie tfaat still fosters radsm sexism and fao-

jjliwriiwiitBl p^ Xgtlaquottt m dtelaquo^ ^ i ^ ^eidjRe of gid fiicndi and foba were die stuff

is bowever d u t whedier or not you fed betieve s u p p o n o r act o h tfaese mecfaanisina o f fiear and

separation tliey are our soda l and psychologishycal inheritance

Tfaere a te many people and groups (dio are doin^great diings for t h e gay and larger com-mutt^r Tfaeir good deeds and actions d o no t go ttOAOdced T h e gay conMsfmnity has such diversity and witfain eacfa g roup the diversity

is immense This inheritance for bet ter or worse is

imbedded in the fabric o f society i ndud ing school churches the media and other institushytions As ment ioned in June s M O C H A Chat one of the most signlBcance and damaging aspects of these i sms and phobias is the internalization of them T h e i sms and p h o shybias shape a n d o r distort our reality Wc take on and internalize some of the generalizashytions and misinformation into our personal make-up and belief systems T h e racism sexshyism stnd faomopfaobia are n o w working on us in die absence o f an oppressor Many r ^ogn i zed this conditioned med ian i sm as internalized oppression This oppress ion sits deejay o n us shapgtes our conscious and subconscious behaviors and belief systems

Internalized oppression keeps us separate from each other and other groups in the folshylowing ways it lowers our self-esteem and sense of seif worth it separates us from people in other groups Some o f t h e phrases used that constitute this kind of thinking are Am I good enough Are you worthy of me They cant understand my s t r u c k I cant trust diem

For many of us the most devastating effect of internalized oppression is that it separates us from those within our own group This can be evidenced by our distrust and lack of supshyport for each other Some of the statements that are made are They are not trufy Black Latino gay 2A2Blacks Latinos gays act this way They are traitors to our groupThey don t understand the real experience of being Black Latino gay 1 feel like an outsider even though I want to be accepted and belong Hes too dark shes too Ught Hc got good hair l^ook how they talk^ i- r

17ic above is ltnJy m Vifry sntAjI smmpUng^ n f the verba messages we give c^ch other The internalized messages from our oppressors go on and on and set up a cycle of internalized oppression that creates deep-rooted self-depshyrecating programming

Some of this conditioning or programming may have been useful for self-protection in our eariy developmental stages But as adults some of it keeps us stuck in patterns that have outlived their usefulness It contributes to our decision-making when we are trying to conshynect and negotiate with o ther human beings especially around the issues of safer sex pracshytices and other sodal interactions taking o n leadership roles support ing and advocating for individual rights

Oppression in any of its forms does harm to both the oppressor and the victim Many of the roles are pre-scribcd before we even are aware they exist Based o n this sodalizatio^i institutionalization rationalization and sepashyration oppression limits freedom and joy for all As a proponent advocate and activist for the elimirution of oppression o f all people it sometimes fceU limiting to identify discuss and activdy advocate for just one or two groups N o one is free until all of us are free mdash perpettatoc and victim

Once we identify diese limiting roles many traquof us try to open ourselves u p to new experishyences and behaviors This is hard deep soul-searching hean wrenching gut-busting work It is also a process that happens over time

W e are all in process As we arc (re) discovshyering our true selves lets be easy on oursdves We have already felt the stings barbs and pain of oppression We will siip n o w and then When trying to (re)-negotiate old and new relationships with family members business assodates and lovers we may fall back into tfae okl sdf-defeating roles and patterns T h e ok behaviors and p a t t e n u are still fbr awfaile more real and more comfbrtable t o us tfaan tfae new befaaviors W e w v e n back to what wc

ltjp-^^-ltfc^w-r-gtraquogt4rtw- MlaquogiewWWiraquoraquotrvMnraquougt^ bull bull raquo i t - ^ bdquo ^

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B6 T H E E M P T Y C L O S E T J u 1 9 9

know no matter how dangerous painful or soul-robbing

Again we need to be gende with ourselves Life doesn t have ro be the way its always been As humans we have great potential and capadty to be flexible resilient joyful loving sensual intelligent and spiritual people For today start by going within when you fmd yourself in a situation where you don t feel a higher ground was teached between you and another What is keeping you from b d n g your brother s keeper

M O C H A s Brothers Keeper Support group for gay m e n of color meets every fourth Wednesday o f the month from 6 pm to 730 p m CaU 422-6470 for detaHs ^r t o RSVP for the next tneeting

O n Y o u r Side By Karen Robby

^^e aint so bad

IVe just returned from a weekend conference in thc big city mdash New York City that is The city that thinks Rochester is one of those rural upstate N e w York places

Truthfully after a few days in Manhattan Rochester did indeed seem rural Being the energetic person that I am the over-stimulashytion of the city life was a bit much As an adolescent I wanted to move to NYC and I can only thank God I didnt I would have bumed myself to a crisp early in my twenties Yes the excitement is there thc theater the culture and the nighdife but a place 111 keep on my cities to visit list wouldnt want to live there

I b ^ a n to compare some o f t h e attributes that NYC had in the lesbian and gay commushynity scene to Rochesters community This was hard being there such a short rime but 1 tried my best Ya know being the rural comshymunity we ate ha wc arent doing such a bad job We really arent

Saturday night was tbe argcr section of free time I go t to experience in the ciry I was told by a fellow conference person about a local free paper that provided information about the gay and lesbian nightspots Before I left the hotel room 1 decided to look in the phone books for some of the names of clubs Id already heard of N o luck N o listings for them mdash yellow or white p s ^ s Lots of other altershynativesexual type of clubs bu t all advertised with a heterosexual theme

1 was quite surprised This gay and lesbian Mecca without one club listed openly in the phone book and definitely no section for Gay or Lesbian Bars or Clubs Then I remembered it doesn t matter how large the city the issues are still the samemdashpubl ic ly there is srill a need to bc discreet harassment is always possible

So off I went to the Village in search of that publication thatwould be my guide to the bars or d u b s I was seeking

I wandered around die V l l l a ^ fbr a cou|4e hours in search of tfais paper widi absolutidy no luck Every newspaper dispenser and store around had everything but that pubHcation When I actually asked fbr it the person selBr^ papers would avoid eye c o n u c t with me and just shake his head n o Even as I got out of tfac primarily straight area (ie young over-made up women with thd r young studs funny how tfaat was right next door to the queen and dyke streets) this paper was nowhere in sight

I finally found a spot right by Stonewall Park and dedded to ask about any places Id be interested in The man there was kind enough to point me in the right direction Unfortu-rutely after so many hours seardung I no longer had thc energy to attend the one place I had been tumed on to So I just peeked in and I was off on my search for the right Underground entrance to get back to my hotel With that I was successful

My big realization was made N o matter where you go the gay and lesbian community is stiU very dosed I thought Id be able to locate some happening places in no time and be enjoying an evening with NYC dykes but I guess not I guess the next time I visit NYC 111 just have to have more information before I arrive Jus t think it doesnt take all that m u d i to find the Em^Oy Gfewtf youre new to this d ty I believe even some s t r a i t members in the community could point you in the right direcshytion of the paper or even a place you were bull looking for We should be proud of ourselves^ we do a pretty good job at keeping the commushynity informed and easily accessible to newshy

comers Well at lcast I remained safe in the big city

that can be crazy sometimes My hotel was located across ftom Madison Square Garden and the uproar after the JCnicks won was inshycredible The streets filled with thousands o f very happy fans and some that were quite unruly T h e next morning ^hen I tried to exit from the side entrance o f t h e hofei I discovshyered that everything was roped off with police caurion tape There was an attempted murder right in front of the doors N o one knew if the man that was brutally injured was killed or not It remained a mystery Yes indeed Lets all celebrate for the Knicks

I m happy to be back in our litde rural community At least 1 know my choices on any given evening As a matter of fact we have a lot to be proud o f We do quite well at keeping our community togedier and growing I look forshyward to sharing our pride at this years parade and picnic Don t miss thc kick-off party at Craft Co N o 6 See you soon

Karen Robby Prevention Educator AIDS Rochesten 442-2220 x3042

Becoming a Main

Detmis J Faley

LooMi^ a t honioplteigtia II Anger unvented faecogieff bull pain uosfioken

becomes n g c rdeased becotnes violence cha-cha-cha I ended last mondi s ar t ide with diis quote from Marion Riggs fiteraquo Ttmffter UtOied Now this month I w o u l d like to explain this qiuHe as well as anotfaer idea whicfa m ^ t fadp us understand the concept of facMnopiiobia

Violence and hatred generally d o not just happen There are usudly reasons for it alshydiough sometimes the reasons are hard to see and even harder to understand In this a r a d e I would like to provide some kJcas which ndgbt shed some light o n hate motivated crimes and in particular homophobia

Generally speakir^ people who have hatved in their hearts or who partidpate in biasxrimes are people who themselves feel devalued by society and are often no t very well connected within a community For example moampt rapshyists and child molesters arc characterized as loners and odd people they often feel lesser than others around them K K K members often come from thc same socio-economic class as the people they aggress against and 3ften share a similar fecHng with the people hey harm thar of being devalued and opshypressed by financial and sodal limitations The only difference is that they belong to the white majority but fed disconnected socially culshyturally and economically from them

I would like to assert that people who parshyticipate in homophobic acts also fed devalued anddisconnected from their community Most high school smdents w h o scream faggot to the kids who are perceived to be different o r inferior are just as socially awkward as the people they are making fun o f As I discussed last month homophobes are often people who find their own homosexual o r h o m o shyerotic feelings so frightening and foreign and are so petrified of being found out or seen as

different from odiers tfaattfaefaggresa toward

us A cortimon denominator between lApaople

w h o e n s t t e in bias o r faaDe^celM^ e a t a c a is that they e n g s ^ in cfaeseofteiiiH ii i M M I i l M o f attempting to regain a sense o f power and value However ir is a fitJse despenite and weak sense of pCTwer F o r t he rapist and pedoshyphile he commits an act o f violence as a means of demonstrating power atsd ltkgtmlnaace over women and cfaiklfen P o r t he K K K member he b u m s crosses and cfaurcfacs in an a t tempt CD tntimidace and co r c g ^ a sense of power F o r the homophobe he attempts- t o get rid o f hia sense of inadequacy as a m a n by discfaatging his anger against otfaets w h o fae percdves as weaker These arc all vcry desperate at tempts to g ^ a sense p f adeqtiacy arid they are all misdirected expressions o f anger as a result of feelingdevalued anddisconnected i rom a comshymunity

About a year ago I at tended a conference through the Psychotherapy Institute at the U of R Medical Center where a psychologist Dr Kenneth V Hardy from Syracuse University presented his ideas about community violence He suggested that people w h o feel devalued and disconnected from a s t rong sense of comshymunity expcricnceagrief reaction which might help to explain why people aggress against disenfranchised communities (ie women the GLBT community Afttcan-Americans etc) He suggested that there is a very specific grief reaction that he has observed and written about Dr Hardy bd ieves that people w h o fed devalshyued and disconnected from commuoity expeshyrience a sense o f loss which leads to feelings of anger which leads to an expericnre of rage that is expressed through revenge and ending in a sensc-Of resolution

Dr Hardy and Marion Riggs are essentially saying the same thing and I believe applicashytions can easily bc made to understand hoshymophobia through their ideas Hardy is stating that as a result o f a pcrcdved sense of loss people experience an intemal process of anger (^vh ich m a y be either in the individuals aware-

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neas o t not ) wfaicfa leads to a sense of rage that

o f ten ieauhs in its expression tfattgtugh violence

o r ^g)Eessibnandcomplcting tfac cydc tfifougji

a settnraquo o f resohitioa l ikewise Riggs expfatina faofno|ribQfata as-iM experience of u n ^ o k e n a i ^ e r wfaich results in intetnat fceiiogs o f pain diar n e outside o f an individuals consdous awareness which is given voice dirough die experience o f n^gt and culminating in vioshylence^

B o l h R ^ g s and Hardy present extraordinary ily catfical ideas Violence aggression and hashytred fawe been very misunderstood in mental healthy and often professionals have thrown up d m r hands in frustxatitm not kncvwing even wfaere to b ^ t n to address these p r o b -lema Tfae way tfaat we currendy addreas tfaese problems is io^ iocarcetate indtviduals Tfae problem with so ldy jailing people wfao comshymit hate crimes is chat beingin jail devalues a p e n o a even m o r e creates an even morcpciH found sense o f a loss o f commumty increases tfae pecaonaaense o f loaa multiplies fait expeshyrience o f anger fermenting tfae rage like a fine wine only to bc uncorked in even more violent ways when the person is released from prison I bd ieve thougfa tfaat Hardy and Riggs provide us witfa s o m e d u e s o f faow t o address fao- mophobia in bo th its intemal (see next m o m h ) and extemal forms

I bd ieve the mos t important thing that each and every one of us can d o to counter hoshymophobia is to accept a stance of zero tolershyance This is difficult because zero tolerance requires us to be out to be seen and to be heard T h e most important t h i r ^ that we c a n d o to address homophobia is to be out loud and proud Wc need to diminate homophobia from within oursdves our ampmilies our friendshyships ou r workplace our places of worship our neighborhoods our schools^ and our gov^ e m m e n t (I could go on but I think you get the picture) T h e only Way that w e can d o this is by be ingseen

T h e second thing diat we need to d o is to interrupt the cycle o f grief and lossj This is especially true for those of us w h o are vested with t^o^^er responsibility and authority in

bull bull bdquo bull bull bull

bull bull bull - bull T H p E M P T Y C L O S E T B7 our soctai instituticms Here I am spedfically talking to t ealt l i e r a n^ l^ua leaders law enshyforcement agents heaidi care pfofesdonalaraquo hcwyets government offidals piiiiBc servants and p e o p k in tfae acts and media Al t faou^ tfais might be difficult wc need to interrupt the cyde of violence by hdp ing horabpfaobcs ap-propi ia tdy cfaannd t h d r anger arid rampgeraquo ce-stDie tfaeir senae o f community re-faumanize tfaetr experiefice of kgtss and counteract dieir sense of b d n g devalued

I am not suggesting diat we respond to faomophobia througfa counfier-attacks aad vioshylence (an eye for an eye) or tfatough Christian passivity ( tum die other ched^ bu t catfaer from a stance of strength zero tolerance and appropriate and firm action

Womanspirit By Dr P a u l a

deChelly Ftaminine power and music Music is one ofmy passions I enjoy listening to it dandf^ to it t a k i n g my foot to it and fidling asleep with it What I like die absolute most about music is playing i t

I grew u p in a musical family with the exception of my father who snored off-key through church hymns and would require a nudge to stand up for the Star Spangieti Banner My mother was a gifted but sdf-sacrificing musician For 40 years she volunteered her services as organist o fhe r church (never tniss-ing a Sunday) She also taught most of the children in o u r small town piano lessons for practically nothirig

I m not certain if it was my mother s devalushying o f hersdf as a musidan or my brother^s elevated position as t h c musician of the family that first began to awaken me to femishynist Consdousness

My growing awareness of the inequality beshytween men and women musicians was experishyenced outside of myfamiiy as welt When 1 was

taken to professional orchestra concerts I couldnt h d p but notice that the majority of die performers and all of die conductors were tnen This situation of course was ignored and never discussed sending me the strong unconsdous message diat this is just the way it is SQ don t tfaink you will ever be able t o reach your dreams or potential

As childrcn are apt to d o I adopted this blatant denial of tfae reality that women musishyd a n s are at a distinct disadvantage Indeed I propelled myself blindly through a music conshyservatory and out into thc world as a professhysional musidan

As a fteelance musician and private studio teacher in the Denver Colo area I fbund a community where all musicians but particushylariy women had to pay their dues in a way that fdt to me to bc disrespectful and unsupportive Having no models t o look to that would h d p provide honest reflcctioti I struggled fiercely against tfae feelings of dlsempowerment that once again permeated my Hfe

Perhaps the magnitude of the awe I experishyenced this week playing a concert with the Greater Rochester Womens Philharmonic was directiy rcdated to an empowering shift of perception around the oppression I had inter-nali^ficd Thc shift was similar to the One Tve had at the Women s Music Festival in Michishygan It s an awareness of safety and acceptance rhat allows mc to let my guard down and rdax at last

The G R W P plays one concert each year and donates its free-will offering to the Alternashytives For Batteted Women s Shdter i t is no coinddence that there exists a paralld in the oppression faced by women musicians and by battered women The hope that this concert offers all women is profound

A petite smiling conductor in a sparkling jacket steps onto the podium and a sea of women in long black dtesses b ^ ^ to move with the spirit of enthusiasm beauty power

and connectedness The audiences and the musidans responded as if soothed by a coni-

forting healing balm M a y b e t h c r e a s o n r n u s i c h a s gtccn sxich a

catalyst in my Ufe fias been thc incredibe power it has to heal All I know fbr certain is diat now I am moving in all o f my life with a greater sense of ease an expanded consciousshyness of oppression and a lot more joy

Pattia deCbeiiy PhD is an edtteatorattdpsjtcbc-therapist in ptiitatepractice who speeialii^s in wttmen s

tssnes

Edith H Bernstein CSW Ucens^ SocM Worker

Expert^ m self Image problem reeolution couplecommg^crtfon

(SBdmg Fee Scale)

[gtyleuroe Psycl ie By Esther Rothblum

L a v laquo n lt l laquo r J a t i laquo s d l l l o v e s w o m e h

What s the first thing diat comes to mind when we talk about womens music Many lesbians will recall Alix Dobkin s album lavender Jane Loves Women I recendy spoke with Alix and asked how she first became a lesbian musidan

I was writing about my own life she recalled so music was part o f m y consciousshyness raising Alix had been a professional folk singer for many years I was at tfae right place at thc right time with the right background doing the rig^t thing she told me

Alix produced a number o f a lbums o f womens music Lattettder Jatte Loim Wotttett (1973) t h i n g With Ltsinans (1976) X C 4 U X (1980) Tlese Wtaeen (1986) YaJwt Amstr^ia (1990) and iMPe An d Pbiities (1992 a compilashytion album) Uptng With Lopender Jane (1998) was a re-release o n t o C D of the fitst two albums In addition^ AMx Dobkins Adtwttttns

In VTotttens Mttsic (Noi Jttst A Sampn^book) was published in 1978

I adced Alix wfaat otfaer m u raquo c was around for lesbians wfaen she first began performing T h e answer no t much Robin Tyler had p r o shyduced Maxine Feklman in 1972 a 45-rpm record with two songs There was the Chicago Women s Liberation Rock Band and the N e w Haven Womens Liberation Rock Band Double Album And in N e w York Lesbian Feminist Dbera t ion conducted a talent show and reshycorded i t mdash t h e record was called A Fem Loptt^ Women Latmuierjane Loties I^Mwivwas tfae first album of women s music tfaat was distributed internationally

T h o s e days were tremendously exdt ing Alix said First of all I was writing about myself as a ksbian I was writing the kinds o f songs in which you could no t change a proshynoun and have it still tnake sense In odier words you c6ukl ioot cjiange iny music into faeterosexual abc^a^iTfaey were cleariy and opeidy s o i ^ about w o m e n k m s ^ women I realized tfaat as long as I was writing songs like that I was writing unique material N o one faad ever written that before and even title w o m e n dependirig on lesbian audiences almost never write about lesbians mdash in fact they ra rdy ment ion women

Even today Alix feels that there is a great need for lesbians to be writing about d i d r lives She has sensed at times that women s music has received a bad rap when in fact it is precisely because o f the fo remothers in women s music that performers Uke the In-d ^ Giris have been successful

T h e r e is this bdief that women s music is confined to folk music which it never was said Alix T h e negative reaction coming from many young lesbians is due latgely to the backshylash against feminism O u r communities very much reflect what is going on in the worid generally and feminism has been distnissed evert by w o m e n tn our own communities I would rtfeommend t h e book Eltiwi But t By Eyes 71raquoi Cttltitre OfWotttentMitsirFe^itfalt^ by

Bonnie Morris (Alyson Pre i s 1999^ ^ t an excellent bvervie^i arid more details W o m e n s rniisicis abour nusngcbn^Cibusiess and nriosc pgteoplc don t even know whar that is any more Furthermore due to budget cuts in education weve also lost a generation that was schooled

to appreciate music Nevertheless Alix is excited by the fact that

many of her performances these days are at universities so that she does have an impact on young women

After a lifetime in New York Alix is now living in Califomia She still performs around the country and is involved with a club that features concerts by women and holds and furthers our culture The director Barbara Price used to c o - p r o d u c e the Michigan Womyns Music Fcsrival Alix is writing a colshyumn for Chicago Outiines and working on a book o f h e r memoirs

Visi t Alix D o b k i n s w e b p a g e a t www ladys l ipper o rg vendors ladys l ipper alixdobkinxtmL

T o order Alix Dobkin s muaic and music by other women and lesbian muakians contact Ladyslipper Music P O Box 3124 D u r h a m N C 27715 teL 1-800-634-6044 o r 919-383-8773

EstberRtttbMttmisaProfessttri^Ptythokigitattbe UmtfersityoJ Vermont andEtIitoroJtbe]QMttk3X of Lesbian Studies She can be reaebed at John Dewey HaU University t^Vermont BnrHngton VT emait estber rotbbbtmtvmedtt

KEN SALTZMAN A PAINTER

ESTIMATES 6 5 4 - 6 1 7 4

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I W A L K O N W A L K O N Ovlaquor 1400 pwpllaquo marched on June 6 in t iw 1999 AIDSWallc raising $130000 to support thlaquo p r ^ r a r m and slaquorvicaa ofAIDS Kodilaquostlaquor

Above volunteers cool off at Cobbs Hill Paric after the 10 k pledge walk Below members of the Gay Mens Chorus tap dance for AIDSWalkers in front of the Avenue Pub

IF YOURE O U T A T N I G H T W E A R W H I T E Below dancers herald the arrival of summsr at thc Memorial Day Weekend White Party at Muthers

A Historic CivU War Home BuUt in 1861

e^

VALLEY Q ^ BED amp BREAKFAST

CONfE A N D ENJOY A DINING EXPERIENCE

ChefInnkeeper Richard BuzzBaUey

Senting Lur-h 11 am till 230 pm Tuesday tfirou^ Friday

Dinner 430 ptn till 830pm Ttiesday through Saturday

Simday Brunch 1030 a-m till 230 pm

Dinner Sunday 3 pm till pm Closed Mondays

4 GUE ST ROOMS

Casual Attire Wdcomed Reservations Suggested

71 E Bu f fa lo S t Wa i saw NY lt71S)7S6lt3S20

lOmUesrom Letchworth State Park

h 4506 Cnlver Ruad

323-1690 Near Seabreeze Park

Opea Taesday-SaMay

U o f R I n te r f a i t h Chapel

Connmitinent Ceremonies

Chapel Accorvmoodates 500

Ceremony Coordinator

call 275-4321 for more information

Freewheefers BICYCLE STORE S REPAIR CENTER

SERVICE EXCLUSIVES emble biket from scrofch becoute focfory ottembly

t proper lubricofion olignmenf and intpecfion

0 new bicycle ond receive Iifefime free moinfenonce

FREEWHEELERS SELLS TERR PRECISION BIKES FOR WOMEN - SPORTS EQUIPAENT THAT ftTS

IRON m i M NORCO - STOWE gt M i S

KOii BICYCLES ARE NOW IN STOCK

1757 M l Hope Avenue (n vxt to ROWO PK Roci iestei iMY 1^620 ^ 7 1 6 - ^ 7 3 ^ 7 2 ^

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m a n Elton John in Rochester T H E E M P T Y C L O S E T A15

June 16 laquofi It waft

since t h e retum _^^ ing songi hitmakingk

^b^m^^ JBlton John performed

Oroas Arena bullppisarancc in Rochester w t e wbo long awaited his

dtt^pCMntcopydSelect-his 30-plu8 years of

mdash ^ - proved hc was still musical ibisteiip b( teckoned with even withshyout the lba^lraquo9iaint and elaborate costumes that tradenHltecl hiseaiiy performances

Elton ^ p ^ was botn R ^ n a i d Kenneth Dwight 5|t | U | | b ^ t o En^and and began his love for ^ ^ ^ ^ 4 pound w ^ fbur After dropping

i^Kfcmy of Music to pursue met fjfridst Bemie Taupin

^ a Loifdon psq^er in 1967 Through dw t^TOs tiie duo garnered huge success wklk l i t e like Rocket Man The Bitch is Btckj bullBcnnic and thc Jets and Your Soflg^)i4ikb has eventitally become a signature pieceibr him

The 80a^8laquoNii poundlt)dn|Dtm in a low-key mode musically m j with more persona challenges He revealed to Rplb^Sittm magazine in 1976 that he was ys^xiial but decided to marry in 1984 Thc mamage lasted only four years and

out of a rock through ttl

by the late bullSOs his personal Hfe was spinning out of control through substance abuse

John befriended AIDS activist Ryan White and when White died in 1990 performed at his fiineral Realizing his Ufe had to change he went for rehab soon afterward He also con-fimicd that he was actually gay and not bi In 1992 he decided all proceeds from singles would be donated to the newly formed Elton John AIDS Foundation

At his Rochester concert on June 16 J o h n played a total of 26 songs easily enough to cover a two CD set Most of the audience reacted best to his most well-known songs singing along on Levon and Daniel alshythough the best song I felt was the moving and cautionary Ticking

In an era of continued closet hiding for many musicians Elton John is the shining example that proves the faultiness of that old ttadition of hiding ones sexuality for success and respectability Years after coming out as gay he continues to be one ofthe most monushymental forces in music He thrilled the Rochesshyter audience as he has worldwide becoming thc most successful crossover gay musician today Hopefully more gay and lesbian artists will follow hivS lead

1

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C e l e b r a t i n g P r i d e Below and lefc The Roch^KSter Gay Mens Chonis performed their summer concert at che Schoo of che Arcs on June 19 Specia e s c Draquovid Setttdsi f rom Canada is shown be^ow

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WINTER BLIZZARD After the Picnic Blowoul

DINOSAUR TEA DANCE

S U N D A Y

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JULY 1999

^owanna VadcHtudc Serves up her ^rnious

Bloody Marys 4pin-7pm

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N O C O V E R

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$150 Rolling Rocks 1 9

Free PIZZA

Bring in your CDs a friend or some tunes 2 6

N O C O V E R

5|^5 13

with DJHector

10pm-2am

$2 Imports 2 0

Corona - Amstd Lite Labatf s - Moison

Dos Equis bull Guinness Red Stripe 27

N O C O V E R

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with DJ Damian

14

1130pm-1230am

HOTTEST SPOT IN

DOWNTOWN ROCHESTERI ^ ^

N O C O V E R

15

with DJTraxx ^ 22 2 f o r 1

10pm - 2am

25 flavors o f ooM bottled beer 2 9

N O C O V E R

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23 10pm-2am

with DJs Henry amp DJoyB ^ ^

N O C O V E R

3 SUKEMDOWN

SATUROMTSl $ 5 - A l i the draft

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31 N O C O V E R

I N D O

INDEPENDENCE DAY 4

Shltraquowtime 11pm DJ Sammy

$3

G R Q L B F presents a special fundraiser

Miss Muthers Consuela presents -THE DATING QAME

All proceeds to benefit Pride WE f o r t h e QRQLBF

$3

11 AFTER THE PtCMC

vow-our Free Draft DJHector

18

$100 C u b M K

T imb wHI be in August$2S0 QRAflD $ 3 bull ^

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Ring in tlic Millennium New Year at Muthers Tickets on sale f o r $ 1 0

s ta r t i ng in Augus t

100fe GENERATION GAY FOR INFO ON SHOWS

Contact Consuete at (716) 271-5783

40 Sowtti Union Street RDCh^DIY14iQ7US^

HAPPY HOUR bull 7 DAYS A W L F K 4pm pr gt i i bull

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H A i m T O U M h ^ Y H K BCACPTSiare i t with the rest of the gay community The Empty Qo$cc Is always looking for information regarding events and soctai activides if you know somadiing sand it to us Submissions are due by the I Sth of each month at The Empty C k M t 179 Atlantk Avlaquo^ Rochester NY 14607-1255 Or call 244-9030

Colunmists Dyke Psyche Esther Rothblum interviews musician AlixDobkit i

P A G E BI8

Calendar bull Check out thc complete list of

Pride Week events here July 14-18

PAGEBI2

- V - ^ ^ t - - f - bullbullbullbull bull bull bull bullbull

Gay Groups bull A Rochester chapter of the

political action g roup Lesbian Avengers is forming

P A G E B2

Check it out bull Enter ta inment Night l i fe Opinshy

ion Why don t Blacks and whites socialize together

S E C T I O N

Coming up

Suzanne Morgan wil l portray Alice in Wonderland

WildWinr imin host^ Maeurolfea Farty fundraiser July 25 Enjoy elegant desserts aiul tea served in a lovely garden Wear your favonte hat and join in a rousinggame of croquette Witness actual scenes as Alice herself recalls her adventures m Wonshyderland Where and when you ask

O n Sunday J uly 25 at 2 pm at 35 Argyle St when Wild Wimmin Theatre Company hosts their Srst annual Mad Hatter Garden Tea Party

We wanted a fundraiser chat was unusual and entertaining says Sharon Jeter artistic director of the company The originai idea of a dessert event came from a good ftiend and thc planning committee just expanded on it The garden party evohred into a Mad Hatter theme jusd the rest just foUowed

Members of thc Wild Wimmin Company will serve desserts and portray an array of characters from the original ^ ^ laquo WamptttMojtti story led by Suzanne Morgan who will bring Alice herself to life This is definitely a party with a tbeatre aspect rather than a dieatre performance with a party aspect The guests will be able to sodalize and enjoy rcfreshmeitts while scenes from the story are reinacted at various times throughout thc afternoon Those attending are aft iced to wear their fovorite hat as there will be prizes for the most original the lazgest-and the most practical

The tea party comes jtist three months after the dosing of the wikOy successful Z ioir IDMMM

IFMn^^ i6tf J M I I igtKtf The company tealized the need for this type of evem Willi the decision to expand their 1999-2000 season to thcee full leii^th piays and one st^iDd leadings

T h i s is a first for us says Jeter During our fitat fbur yeais we haive het^ m a prodiac-tion sdieduie of fust two ptays per yeai^ but oor audiences bave bete asldqg for moie An ez-paoded pcodncdoo scfagdule tequna an ex-pafkded bodlget Royalties aod tfaeatie leasing akioe w ^ qBlaquot ovorf^OOO tlus cont f^ aeasoo Add to the coat o f aets costsanes and pdDCMg attd we ate ampr fimn our tnttable be-giniiiiigMa 499S when ^HMaa earned a total

TWf^lnt^UbtfSfimSfalsar^rlmafeC^uc Rim Festivai onjuly 29 at Utde Theatre One

laquo ^ ^ ^ mdash _ _ - _ mdash ^ ^ e j u f y 2 9 Atnish^taUj^d^di^qui^^ hotn j3CK^]ViQsuejtf^^4 are just a few ofthe obstades

tsfincgt ypu i^ men jn s c ^

IS a bdquo^^^--

^ J

- - gt ^ 5 H ^ ^ ^ Gaj^pbcil) tries ovit a local gay bar seemingly looking for - fOlaquoM^j^ Stances with Mark (John Paul Pitoc) a musoilar go-

^pf$ltbtauntt)t4^both find each other in thc same subway car later that night Your km b o y i i ^ i ^ thong^^fabnelthinksj

Qri evenings events for Gabriel and Madt and thats when the real fun

ic own foe ampquickcoxtsummadon they encounter one barrier after cdgiDl over their oneioom apartment for his own

tfiiand|i rjhp raquo buaUy preparing for her all-female off-off-off ^^^lOili^^^to^t^lA^ doesnt seemtp get the hint Then theres

Wa|9BfdgtGilt^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ d ^ M p k ttad Gabrid persevere and that steamy n ^ t of sex seems

^cc^ip|i |^jcir^]^^ thetwo r^l i^s^^ieiraquoj^ and fiUed with memorable scenes^ induding cal pijugtltg^kilraquoCM^ Christian Campbell makes for a believable

wbps^dijp^ti^^ eyes arid demeanor tell a different tale o f the real bull bull ^ ^ s

iS- i ^ - ^^S^gt

budget of S400 We need to be prepared so that we can continue to present the hig^ qualshyity professional productions our audiences are accustomed to

Anyone who wishes to support the efforts of Rochesters first and only all-female theatre company is invited to attend this event Howshyever attendance will be United to 150 so it is important that you reserve your spot eariy Thc Mad HafrrCatt tmT^Patt^m^nmtoiri 2 to S p0x on Sundayjuly 25 in the g^cden at 35 Aigyle Sc at East Ave In the event of inclement weather the event will be held inshyside Susan Heidts beautiful histotk bouse The cost is $ t 0 per incfividnal and StSi ie t couple Resacvatiofla may be aoade liy caltiag 654T09-

irvuigeOiit Fi lm Festival news a iiKifve amp a j i i ly inovie Moiie volunteets moce shows aod now moce

space Due to the generous support ftom the LGBT community and its friends and the desire to locate in an accessible building (with an elevator and convenient parking) the ImageOut Film Festival office is now at the Village Gate

It is on d)e second floor of 302 North Goodman S t (the beige brick building with the t r iat^es at the top) Enter through the double doors across the courtyard from the BopoporfTomparidiaieaAdttoug^the door under Mack Gtoeniogs mural Eye to eye over a cup

H i e Inu^eOut tdephone number (271-264C^acxl fraquoc number (271-3798) cematn the sacne but the new mailingaddcess ts Im^eOut 302 North Goodman Scraquo Box 29 Rochesier N Y 146071149

Join Icna^eOut the Empire Scate Pride Agenda die GAGV and Come Ouc And Play for tfae Bcaak a Sweat for Prida Qdaiwe^^afcy oo Friday July 16 at Hie Gate a aew club locaied at 444 Cermal Ave at tfae coiner of

Trick contintAed on nlaquox t page

Ormond St (the former site of the Spaghetri Warehouse) Sec InuigeOut marching in the Pride Parade and at the Cultural Festival on July 17 and visit the Film Fesdval tent at the Pride Picnic on J uly 18 at Genesee Valley Park

The ImageOut summerrime film event will bc pre-release screening of Tridt starring Tori Spelling and Sean Campbell (see the film review above) at the Litde Theatre on Thursshyday July 29 Tickets arc $10

T t o year ImageOut will bc a week eariier than last year The Fesdval will open on Friday Oct 8 at The Litde Theatre and close on Saturday Oct 16 at the Dryden Theatre ImageOut is adding a late evening show at the Dryden Theatre for a total of four shows there

Poetry for Pride T h e G ^ A i y a n c e will host Generation Q a reading to celebrate GayLesbianBisexual Pride Week on Thurscky July 15 at 7 pjn at the GAGV Conununity Center 179 Adandc Ave

C o m k i g u p contii i ist td o n iMxt fMftt

I

2 1 A N D O V E R O N L Y -^have your s ta te ID ready a t t h c door bull S E C U R t T Y O N

82 gtf-A-^-^^figtJj5hgtjf

T H E E M P T Y C L O S B T

Conning up continued f rom p BI The local poets and prose writers who will

perform indude Beth Bailey Jack Bradigan Spula John Coakley Sharon Jeter and other members of thc Wild Women theater troupe SusanJordanTony Leuzzi and Michde Spring-Moore Thc reading will be sign language intershypreted and the first fioor of tbe Gay AUiance building has a wheelchair Uft and an accessible restroom The event is free although donashytions for the Gay Alliances pride celebradon activities will be collected

For more information call thc GAGV at 244-8640

Out on video 4 Very Noturo Thing B y L e w O j e d a A Ver^ Natttnd Tbittg Director Christopher Laridn Starring Robert Joel Curt Gareth Bo White

As a r^ular featuce in thc E i t t ^ 0lt Wflaquo I will be reviewing films available for rental or purshychase on video hig^ilighting the gay lesbian and bisexual experietKe I Kgtpe to concentrate on films that are not as generally wdl known as coirunerdal rdeases

More than 25 years have passed since the theatrical rdease of ^ Very Naittral Thiitg the first nationally distributed inde|gtendent film by an openly gay director When first rdeased this fiim caused such controversy both with straight critics and with some gay audiences that its prospects for box office success were all but crushed But watching the film with some hindsight should prove quite revealing not only because this seemingly simple story is very well written and acted but aiso lgtccause it presents provocative ideas about relationships and sexual identity that Hollywood still can^t touch

The film stars Robert J o d as David a former monk turned teacher who meets Mark an insurance salesman (played by Curt Gareti^) in a bar fails in Aove-4Ad eventually ^moves ki-with him As Vito Russo author af the great

baolc on Hatiyv^oampd fiims The t e dnoMi ltSios0f cJcveriy points out David and Niark go through their eariy married period in a giddy parody of Ljove Stoty rolling through the leaves watchitig each other shave and making love to a swelling melodramatic soundtrack Just as with numershyous hetero movies probletns arise Mark doesnt want to be tied down and David shows signs of excessive neediness

They try to mend their relationship by exshyperimentation but visits to Fire Island bath houses and orgies dont hdp and the union is permanendy damaged David is then forced to reevaluate what he really wants as he begins falling in love with a divorced photographer named Jason (Bo White)

Much of the movie may have todays audishyences wondering what the big deal was about Its basicaUy a very taiky movie one in which the nature of love relationships and sexual politics are discussed with characters comfortshyably seated In fact someone could invent quite a drinking game by imbibing every time David says Lets talk This is a movie about ideas and in part because it is viewed as the first important American gay lib film from a gay filmmaker perhaps it was pressured to achieve too much Straight audiences had to bc convinced thatgajrs have thc very same probshylems with rdadonships as heterosexual couples

and gay audiences needed to be placated with a strong sense of pride for who they were

The latter point could be a reason why intershyviews with real gays and lesbians during a pride march were tnduded in the iiKtvie Men and women wearing long hair afros and beU botshytoms talking about how important it is to come out may be interesting to watch but in hindshysight I think the interviews actuaUy date die film I kept feding thdr statements were so detached from Larkins screenplay that their indusion panders to viewers sensibiiities and doesnt give a real glimpse into the lives of those brave interviewees who dedded to risk everything and come out Larkin had the right idea by pladitg actors Robert Joel and Bo White within the march but he should have kept die event as a backdrop Uke ditector Haskdl Wexler did in the film MetUtttti CTcewhen he positioned Robert Forster and Vema Bloom in the foreshyground of the 1968 Chicago Rio^

Thc fictional Uves of the characters (espeshycially Davids) arc much morc interesting beshycause they are dynamic David Marie and Jashyson dont live in a world of gay Ub dogqia Instead their Uves arc fiUed with joy uncershytainty and reflection and when compared to most gay characters in mainstream movies are much more human in thdr complexity Igtavids apoUtical nature and Jasons acceptance of a semi-distant rdationship are provocative ideas in movies even today because their decisions and actions do not follow a fonnula by deshymanding compliance just to satisfy the script

This independent thinking is what makes A Very Naitind Thing so important today With mainstream gay movies like Itt cV Out rdeased by a self-congratulating HoUywood its very important to remember that many gay and lesbian independent filmmakers present ideas and attitudes HoUywood stiU shys away from

Thats why we have filmmakers Uke Bruce La Bruce G r ^ Araki and Greta SchiUer And thats why we have Christopher Larkin to thank

T H c k cont f inued f r o m p I

John Paui Pitoc looks and sounds like the guy archetype he is supposed to be on the outside and his no-friUs dcUvery in thc first part ofthe film fits perfecdy with his character However as his character becomes more than just a pretty face (both in die eyes of Gabrid and the audience) Pitoc presents thc mind behind the body and dcUvcrs an impressive feature film debut A definite scenc-stealer in IricJk is Tori SpdUng the loud comic aspiring actress Katherine SpeUings performance is steUar and probably her best to date She takes aU the humorous aspects of thc stereotypical fag hag and blends them with a fast-talking yet goofy actress who has an answer for everyshything

Director Jim Fall a busy New York stage director makes an impressive feature film deshybut with this vibrant urban fairy-tale that afshyfirms the possibiHty oflove in the most unUkdy of circumstances but that does not resort to the usual sap and saccharine ofmany other love stories or date flicks A smatt script clever and insightful acting and a frustratingly funny story Une make TnfJk the summer must-sec ofgay dnema

TtickwiUbc shown atan IncageOut fundraiser pre-release screening (a month before its offishycial opening) on Thursday July 29 at the Ii tde Theatre One For more details caU 271-2640

EntertaHtmentNlghtlife Opinion Racism and the bar scene W h y cant Blacks and whites socialb^e tlt^etiier7

-r~i^-- x-

BySusanJordan lea Major has worked as a bouncer in local bars and dubs fbr 8ltM3e years As an African American hc has observed a radsm endemic not only to Rochester and not only to bars but to institutions througfiout the LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual ttansgender) commushynity and throughout thc country Major feds that it is time to begin a community diak^ue on radsm and other forms of bias so that a new generation ofgays does not continue to rcpUcate among oursdves the prejudiced discrimirutory attitudes and behavior wc so ofien experience from heterosexuals

Major said that he remembers tfae Rochshyestcr bar scene in tbe 70s bullThere waa a lot of radsm diere but you just desdt with it There was no place dse to go (but thc local gay bars) After 13 years In Arizona he returned to the Rochester area in 1992 I come back 13 years later and tts^till hapshypening Why dont bar owners care about certain segments ofthe community

Major said that he worked as a bouncer at a local bar and on one night ofthe week as he puts it AU thc family came out Blacks and whites The whites would stay on one side ofthe bar and the Blacks would go back where thc music was Thc owners denied that there was a problem Major said that bartenders would distinguish not only beshytween Blacks and whites but between what he termed preppie Black Idds and the Itids who look Uke hip-hoppers

Major commented I remember when The Friars and Jims were open in thc 70s Black itids had a hard time getting into both clubs they hadnj^hiye three or four forms of ID to get in while white kids didnt The iaw rcquifcs fust one form of identity Bartenders wouldnt wait on Black customshyers until theyd waited on white customers One time we went to Jims and they wouldnt let us in I went and got 15 to 20 Black kids and we made sure wc all had IDs and they had no choice but to let us in

Major continued Today its different The racism stiU exists but now its more underhand They stiU make you wait for cocktails and serve you lesa than the next (white) person Then thcy complain about tips but why should you tip ifthe bartender isnt being fair Im trying to get the chilshydren in this town to open their eyes and understand were aU going through the same things Black or white White kids shouldnt fear Black kids and Black kids shouldnt feei uncomfortable around whites Thc only thing I can think is that we need to open up and talk to one another Thats thc only way weU get to know each other and leam that yes wc have different cultures but were all the same Wc need to stop bdng so judgeshymental We need to bc morc friendly to try to be more social with one another

When he worked in bars Major said 1 was always the icebreaker and I would ask bodt Black and white Idds why dont you talk to each other and get to know each other Youll find you bave a lot in conunon You work the same jobs shop at the same stores eat at tite same restaurantsHe added I dont underscand it and I want to know why we have so mudt separation in 1999 Lets do something about this

Msforobserved tfaat almost the only event in die wtttte gay oommuoity that draws laige oxtahert o f gays o f cokM is tfae G A G V picnic but even tfaere people tend to stay

Ira Maior

with their friends and there is comparativdy Utde auxif^ between white people and peofMie of color

The dubnight run on Saturdays by Charies Stevens at Gabbys off Chestnut St downshytown is where young Black gays lesbtans and bis arcgoingnow according to Major White kids go there too Major said and Black and white kids get together and party He hopes that the prejudices of an oider generashytion WtU not be passed on^ artd feds that many people in their 20s both Black and white have a different attitude nowadays

Major feds that music is key to bringing people together and says that most Rochesshyter dubs dont play thc music that young Black and Latinoa people are interested in The Black and Hispanic doUar is imporshytant he said They say were only a smaU segment but wed be a larger s^men t if we were offered something Tlie music in bars is more aitemative theyre not playmg Top 40 Black music Its jast Deborah Cox and Whitney HoustonmdashtheyU play that to death but thats aU The Black kids are always asking why that is

Some clubs offer special music on weekshynights to bring in more customers Major asked Ifyou offer countrjwestem nights why not offer urban (soul RampB hiphop world etc) nights or Spanish nights on those slow nights You make suggestions like that and thcy look at you Ukc youre crazy I dont understand what is wrortg wich thc Black or Hispanic or female doUar

Things arc different in New York City Major said That is what New York dubs are doing mdash tnixing white black and Spanish music mdash and theyre fabulous Upstate New Yotk should be iititovative enough to have the NY sound thc Califomia sound DJs should be innovative enough to bring the kids together In the 70s Donna Sununer and Gloria Gaynor and those performers werent mainstream it was just in gay dubs where youd hear them The DJs brought them out DJs should search for the leaUy hot new music today For one thing they dont mix Uke thcy used to They should ce-leam how to mix oot just play rite CD and whats on the radio The music b r i i ^ everybody together

In h o p ^ of starring an ongoing commushyttity dialogue on these issues Major urges any member of tite LGBT community (Black White Asiart Latinoa Native American Padfic Islander etc) cosendcommencs^ideas and suggesttoos on tfae subfect of ovccoMn-ing tadsm within otur ctmunnnity to Lettert to tfae BdiMMr TArJSa^ lt3htt^ 179 Adaotic Avei^ Rocfaester R Y 14607^

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An artist hopefully at some point in his life is driven by forces call them a passion for beauty and an urgency to express his feelings that can bc compelling When die driving force mens beauty becomes intense theres a chance judgement may falter T h c heart is always fragshyile

Speeding somewhere I cut duough my n e i ^ -borhood park an area favored by casual jogshygers and serious runners Ahead I saw a perfect body short and lean with broad shoulders topped by a mane of bouncing jet black hair I timed as I passed an saw an Asian face -mdash high cheekbones narrow eyes mdash totally concenshytrated Struck by the mans beauty I s topped my car my thoughts racing ahead scrambling for a strategy

I shouted out I want to draw you can you taik to me Through gasps for air he shouted O n c e more around the lake w a i t I waited 30 minutes He should have been back in five I stood mute humiliated my face crimson beshyyond thc heat of the day Hed had my number fog on the make Being an artist snt easy

I accepted the shame because in a way the runner hiraquod been right Motives overiap While I want to make something lovely mdash that is or used to bc what art is aboutlaquo and expression connected to the thing a mans body that I admire mdash there is no way for a stranger a hunk whos probably been hit on more than once to understand So on a sunny summers day instead of feeling happy because thc wpather is fine I sank into gloom

I shouldnt beat up on myself Artists inshyspired by nature walk in thc wood Artists who paint bouquets grow flowers It s only fair only logical that an artist who admires male physical pgtcrfection should seek out beaushytiful men

I fyou want to draw bodies you can take a class and thc models there run the fuil range mosdy in thc wrong direction T h c theory being that ali sizes shapes and ages are wor thshywhile challenge Past thc schooling phase one wants to apply the acquired skills to objects of choice Ove r the years some models have sought me ou t after having seen my work H ip college kids like Mikey an engineering student who was a rock climber and dyed his hair green were the cool types diat could matter-of-facdy handle sittiog around naked (People you know like to expand dieir inventory of O r one may be ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ y

OnliyiiurSiiEhr Blaquoq3laquonirig ai M a n ^ ^

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O n a sunny summer aftemoon as I sat in my of high voltage soap opera car waiting for the signal to t um green I saw a O u r encounters were once or twice a year jogger lope along Winton Road Possessed by and then for a few weeks at a stretch Some-an intuitive impulse I fximbled in my glove times hed wander up at outdoor festival often compartment for my business card Once the with a girlfriend just to say hello light tumed green I changed lanes rolled down I learned he had dropped out of school the passenger window and slowed down I gone on a few years later to the local commu-tapped the car h o m thrust my hand out the nity coUege where hed majored in commercial window and nearly choked managing a casual art He brought me his portfolio a few draw-tone Vd like to use you as a model Fm an ings hed copied from magazines mdash those artist heres my nvimbcr call me Finely were awkward his drawings from life were muscled beautifully tanned graceful he was better His aptitude seemed to bc for design perfect Then a long stretch with no encounters

In the moment it is impossible to untangle O n e day 1 saw him again and we talked about feelings The attraction to physicai beauty is a doing some more drawings When he came horrendous mix of lust and aesthetics For over I gasped at his pierced nipple His legs years I have chosen to make drawings and were smooth shaved His pubic hair neady paintings of men The craft and discipiine of trimmed WTiat are you doing Dancing in making art are rigorous and satisfying Making a club he said with a sly smile Yikes this an has legitimized my homosexuality given it man-child that 1 fett protective about had be-focus and expression Whiie Id never discuss my reasons for making an with a model most of them intuitively seem to understand andit also seems to enjoy their role

l^ ter that afternoon to my astonishment thc youiig nixi phoned t i c caxtic over yenc talked and he agreed to work for me

As it happened his father was an artist and hed g rown up in an environnient that enabled him to appreciate nsy work His parents were

come a go go dancer In a gay bar Hed always said hc liked to dance

The 17-year-old was 25 now not a kid anyshymore He d gone through school moved out on his own -had- a scries of teauonsVups

grow^n up- My rcacrion was a mix o f curiosity and fear I grilled him like a parent

Thc stories he told me werent entirely pleasshymg He liked the money He loved to dance

now estranged he lived with his mother Thcy The spodight appealed to him Gay bars were had recendy tnoved from a small town to a widening theit clientele he coxild actually meet neighborhood not far from my house women while dancing in bars Yet the men

Hc wlaquot 17 1 tt^d him he needed to discuss who stuffed doUars into his g-string were crass my p t epo$ t i with his parents He had the They offered him money for sex A lot of fooliriichlaquommigcltMifidelaquoceof theyoungand money T h e kid Id known since he was a shy

assiund me h e couldiDske fus own decisions Noocdydbstflj^oketiitfa his father We began ^ o d m g W i g f i i m thsc sutBiaer

fwsmaiampr^^pet^Keaat^^axi cause a range of refiectiooff Vou c a n ^ d bsd about not work-

high school drop-out told me hed been disapshypointed by the way people were capable of behaving Yeah weli thats thc way it is but who ever wants to see an innocent collide with the reality My only choice was to accept the

experiences) W h o am I to speculate ifthe guys like Mikey or John my nautilus tn^net were bucidingexhifaitioakc Apound eny x^te sofne like J o h o ^ ^ i ^ k t e r went o n t o mitScaA sdkool became ftiends kept in t o u d i Uxtg after we worked e ^ e t h e r

LeaD4ifnes and good dnies Ref^C^n like t h e trade i laquo laquo r t o l h e p laquo f c c f i h laquo i u p laquo r i t o c l o u b l y bull n c laquo t o f c laquo t i n g h i s body slaquolaquoncdpalpablehis

h laquo n l ^ ^ ^ artiw i bo th an artiraquot laquo laquo amp laquo laquo laquo - laquo laquo laquo laquo laquo raquo ^ ^ ^ laquo ^ f ^ bull laquo deg ^ -

and traquo J i S e ^ a respoose as assent A i n o d d witb a ^ c c d body wfao otAf wants t o m^ce a few bdcfaa xauibe perfecdy adequate A rnodel ndko epin|MiaA|iac3 witfa tfae creative pfoccaa o n tfae olaquol||p|MMKl often cteatca a synlaquogist ic jf^mH^tijif^j^ laquobe al^aiid ^eqeakAy jftie moik-iim^imm^-h^a^ ^ ^ result of a bullColiafaopnivc cfloit bull

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ing out more or rue the effects ofagc One may changes in his life Tlie drawings as always

daydream of seduction the cost be damned were fine The next spring I wanted to draw I left one

phone message then another I wasnt troubled He d always drifted in and out of my life I knew I cotdd depend on him

Then a few weeks later after I returned from a vacation I dropped off some film and a de rk in the store came over Vou were a friend of A I know he told me about you Did you hearv4iathaj^gtcned bullNo He dropped dead of an aneurysm before work in his apartshyment

H e was 27

capture on gtaper an essence of perfection frozen in time through the making o fa draw-log T o i ^ calls are what Hfe is about

H i e kid had a body that responded to workshying-out and for reasons I couldnt know he obsessed about thac He went to the gym religiously The pride he took in the achieve-

always r o u t e d

For a gay man w h o had largely considered himself eicduded from the prerogatives of the dominant cultute and free poundroro its constraints a man wfao viewed faimsdf as an oudaw to find faitaadf ta a sitnation in wfaicfa fae opts to be motai teapectfbl faonorable was botfa new aod gratifyifig I wanted tfae experience o f knowing htm of feeling that he liked me I made nice conversation and because fae under-4lood tfaat I was gay and because I didnt fait on

M O C H A Chat

By Stanley Byrd

ipglaquop i f i laquo l S S S g S i laquo ^ laquo r S e r 1raquoilaquolaquo laquoxplaquod him laquoi he alaquocplaquod me o v laquo raquomMMdlaquoMiktllaquoiaaitlMitMBIathesgtdfig montht we belaquome ftiends He had a naiciMraquo-

poundrrsrX^^^ fzszstz3rct trade^--~raquoraquoM^JIJtrade

I nc raAsb ig u n d e r s t a n d i n g Some may take objection to the description of diis country diis dty and diis coihmuxuty as otie tfaat still fosters radsm sexism and fao-

jjliwriiwiitBl p^ Xgtlaquottt m dtelaquo^ ^ i ^ ^eidjRe of gid fiicndi and foba were die stuff

is bowever d u t whedier or not you fed betieve s u p p o n o r act o h tfaese mecfaanisina o f fiear and

separation tliey are our soda l and psychologishycal inheritance

Tfaere a te many people and groups (dio are doin^great diings for t h e gay and larger com-mutt^r Tfaeir good deeds and actions d o no t go ttOAOdced T h e gay conMsfmnity has such diversity and witfain eacfa g roup the diversity

is immense This inheritance for bet ter or worse is

imbedded in the fabric o f society i ndud ing school churches the media and other institushytions As ment ioned in June s M O C H A Chat one of the most signlBcance and damaging aspects of these i sms and phobias is the internalization of them T h e i sms and p h o shybias shape a n d o r distort our reality Wc take on and internalize some of the generalizashytions and misinformation into our personal make-up and belief systems T h e racism sexshyism stnd faomopfaobia are n o w working on us in die absence o f an oppressor Many r ^ogn i zed this conditioned med ian i sm as internalized oppression This oppress ion sits deejay o n us shapgtes our conscious and subconscious behaviors and belief systems

Internalized oppression keeps us separate from each other and other groups in the folshylowing ways it lowers our self-esteem and sense of seif worth it separates us from people in other groups Some o f t h e phrases used that constitute this kind of thinking are Am I good enough Are you worthy of me They cant understand my s t r u c k I cant trust diem

For many of us the most devastating effect of internalized oppression is that it separates us from those within our own group This can be evidenced by our distrust and lack of supshyport for each other Some of the statements that are made are They are not trufy Black Latino gay 2A2Blacks Latinos gays act this way They are traitors to our groupThey don t understand the real experience of being Black Latino gay 1 feel like an outsider even though I want to be accepted and belong Hes too dark shes too Ught Hc got good hair l^ook how they talk^ i- r

17ic above is ltnJy m Vifry sntAjI smmpUng^ n f the verba messages we give c^ch other The internalized messages from our oppressors go on and on and set up a cycle of internalized oppression that creates deep-rooted self-depshyrecating programming

Some of this conditioning or programming may have been useful for self-protection in our eariy developmental stages But as adults some of it keeps us stuck in patterns that have outlived their usefulness It contributes to our decision-making when we are trying to conshynect and negotiate with o ther human beings especially around the issues of safer sex pracshytices and other sodal interactions taking o n leadership roles support ing and advocating for individual rights

Oppression in any of its forms does harm to both the oppressor and the victim Many of the roles are pre-scribcd before we even are aware they exist Based o n this sodalizatio^i institutionalization rationalization and sepashyration oppression limits freedom and joy for all As a proponent advocate and activist for the elimirution of oppression o f all people it sometimes fceU limiting to identify discuss and activdy advocate for just one or two groups N o one is free until all of us are free mdash perpettatoc and victim

Once we identify diese limiting roles many traquof us try to open ourselves u p to new experishyences and behaviors This is hard deep soul-searching hean wrenching gut-busting work It is also a process that happens over time

W e are all in process As we arc (re) discovshyering our true selves lets be easy on oursdves We have already felt the stings barbs and pain of oppression We will siip n o w and then When trying to (re)-negotiate old and new relationships with family members business assodates and lovers we may fall back into tfae okl sdf-defeating roles and patterns T h e ok behaviors and p a t t e n u are still fbr awfaile more real and more comfbrtable t o us tfaan tfae new befaaviors W e w v e n back to what wc

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know no matter how dangerous painful or soul-robbing

Again we need to be gende with ourselves Life doesn t have ro be the way its always been As humans we have great potential and capadty to be flexible resilient joyful loving sensual intelligent and spiritual people For today start by going within when you fmd yourself in a situation where you don t feel a higher ground was teached between you and another What is keeping you from b d n g your brother s keeper

M O C H A s Brothers Keeper Support group for gay m e n of color meets every fourth Wednesday o f the month from 6 pm to 730 p m CaU 422-6470 for detaHs ^r t o RSVP for the next tneeting

O n Y o u r Side By Karen Robby

^^e aint so bad

IVe just returned from a weekend conference in thc big city mdash New York City that is The city that thinks Rochester is one of those rural upstate N e w York places

Truthfully after a few days in Manhattan Rochester did indeed seem rural Being the energetic person that I am the over-stimulashytion of the city life was a bit much As an adolescent I wanted to move to NYC and I can only thank God I didnt I would have bumed myself to a crisp early in my twenties Yes the excitement is there thc theater the culture and the nighdife but a place 111 keep on my cities to visit list wouldnt want to live there

I b ^ a n to compare some o f t h e attributes that NYC had in the lesbian and gay commushynity scene to Rochesters community This was hard being there such a short rime but 1 tried my best Ya know being the rural comshymunity we ate ha wc arent doing such a bad job We really arent

Saturday night was tbe argcr section of free time I go t to experience in the ciry I was told by a fellow conference person about a local free paper that provided information about the gay and lesbian nightspots Before I left the hotel room 1 decided to look in the phone books for some of the names of clubs Id already heard of N o luck N o listings for them mdash yellow or white p s ^ s Lots of other altershynativesexual type of clubs bu t all advertised with a heterosexual theme

1 was quite surprised This gay and lesbian Mecca without one club listed openly in the phone book and definitely no section for Gay or Lesbian Bars or Clubs Then I remembered it doesn t matter how large the city the issues are still the samemdashpubl ic ly there is srill a need to bc discreet harassment is always possible

So off I went to the Village in search of that publication thatwould be my guide to the bars or d u b s I was seeking

I wandered around die V l l l a ^ fbr a cou|4e hours in search of tfais paper widi absolutidy no luck Every newspaper dispenser and store around had everything but that pubHcation When I actually asked fbr it the person selBr^ papers would avoid eye c o n u c t with me and just shake his head n o Even as I got out of tfac primarily straight area (ie young over-made up women with thd r young studs funny how tfaat was right next door to the queen and dyke streets) this paper was nowhere in sight

I finally found a spot right by Stonewall Park and dedded to ask about any places Id be interested in The man there was kind enough to point me in the right direction Unfortu-rutely after so many hours seardung I no longer had thc energy to attend the one place I had been tumed on to So I just peeked in and I was off on my search for the right Underground entrance to get back to my hotel With that I was successful

My big realization was made N o matter where you go the gay and lesbian community is stiU very dosed I thought Id be able to locate some happening places in no time and be enjoying an evening with NYC dykes but I guess not I guess the next time I visit NYC 111 just have to have more information before I arrive Jus t think it doesnt take all that m u d i to find the Em^Oy Gfewtf youre new to this d ty I believe even some s t r a i t members in the community could point you in the right direcshytion of the paper or even a place you were bull looking for We should be proud of ourselves^ we do a pretty good job at keeping the commushynity informed and easily accessible to newshy

comers Well at lcast I remained safe in the big city

that can be crazy sometimes My hotel was located across ftom Madison Square Garden and the uproar after the JCnicks won was inshycredible The streets filled with thousands o f very happy fans and some that were quite unruly T h e next morning ^hen I tried to exit from the side entrance o f t h e hofei I discovshyered that everything was roped off with police caurion tape There was an attempted murder right in front of the doors N o one knew if the man that was brutally injured was killed or not It remained a mystery Yes indeed Lets all celebrate for the Knicks

I m happy to be back in our litde rural community At least 1 know my choices on any given evening As a matter of fact we have a lot to be proud o f We do quite well at keeping our community togedier and growing I look forshyward to sharing our pride at this years parade and picnic Don t miss thc kick-off party at Craft Co N o 6 See you soon

Karen Robby Prevention Educator AIDS Rochesten 442-2220 x3042

Becoming a Main

Detmis J Faley

LooMi^ a t honioplteigtia II Anger unvented faecogieff bull pain uosfioken

becomes n g c rdeased becotnes violence cha-cha-cha I ended last mondi s ar t ide with diis quote from Marion Riggs fiteraquo Ttmffter UtOied Now this month I w o u l d like to explain this qiuHe as well as anotfaer idea whicfa m ^ t fadp us understand the concept of facMnopiiobia

Violence and hatred generally d o not just happen There are usudly reasons for it alshydiough sometimes the reasons are hard to see and even harder to understand In this a r a d e I would like to provide some kJcas which ndgbt shed some light o n hate motivated crimes and in particular homophobia

Generally speakir^ people who have hatved in their hearts or who partidpate in biasxrimes are people who themselves feel devalued by society and are often no t very well connected within a community For example moampt rapshyists and child molesters arc characterized as loners and odd people they often feel lesser than others around them K K K members often come from thc same socio-economic class as the people they aggress against and 3ften share a similar fecHng with the people hey harm thar of being devalued and opshypressed by financial and sodal limitations The only difference is that they belong to the white majority but fed disconnected socially culshyturally and economically from them

I would like to assert that people who parshyticipate in homophobic acts also fed devalued anddisconnected from their community Most high school smdents w h o scream faggot to the kids who are perceived to be different o r inferior are just as socially awkward as the people they are making fun o f As I discussed last month homophobes are often people who find their own homosexual o r h o m o shyerotic feelings so frightening and foreign and are so petrified of being found out or seen as

different from odiers tfaattfaefaggresa toward

us A cortimon denominator between lApaople

w h o e n s t t e in bias o r faaDe^celM^ e a t a c a is that they e n g s ^ in cfaeseofteiiiH ii i M M I i l M o f attempting to regain a sense o f power and value However ir is a fitJse despenite and weak sense of pCTwer F o r t he rapist and pedoshyphile he commits an act o f violence as a means of demonstrating power atsd ltkgtmlnaace over women and cfaiklfen P o r t he K K K member he b u m s crosses and cfaurcfacs in an a t tempt CD tntimidace and co r c g ^ a sense of power F o r the homophobe he attempts- t o get rid o f hia sense of inadequacy as a m a n by discfaatging his anger against otfaets w h o fae percdves as weaker These arc all vcry desperate at tempts to g ^ a sense p f adeqtiacy arid they are all misdirected expressions o f anger as a result of feelingdevalued anddisconnected i rom a comshymunity

About a year ago I at tended a conference through the Psychotherapy Institute at the U of R Medical Center where a psychologist Dr Kenneth V Hardy from Syracuse University presented his ideas about community violence He suggested that people w h o feel devalued and disconnected from a s t rong sense of comshymunity expcricnceagrief reaction which might help to explain why people aggress against disenfranchised communities (ie women the GLBT community Afttcan-Americans etc) He suggested that there is a very specific grief reaction that he has observed and written about Dr Hardy bd ieves that people w h o fed devalshyued and disconnected from commuoity expeshyrience a sense o f loss which leads to feelings of anger which leads to an expericnre of rage that is expressed through revenge and ending in a sensc-Of resolution

Dr Hardy and Marion Riggs are essentially saying the same thing and I believe applicashytions can easily bc made to understand hoshymophobia through their ideas Hardy is stating that as a result o f a pcrcdved sense of loss people experience an intemal process of anger (^vh ich m a y be either in the individuals aware-

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neas o t not ) wfaicfa leads to a sense of rage that

o f ten ieauhs in its expression tfattgtugh violence

o r ^g)Eessibnandcomplcting tfac cydc tfifougji

a settnraquo o f resohitioa l ikewise Riggs expfatina faofno|ribQfata as-iM experience of u n ^ o k e n a i ^ e r wfaich results in intetnat fceiiogs o f pain diar n e outside o f an individuals consdous awareness which is given voice dirough die experience o f n^gt and culminating in vioshylence^

B o l h R ^ g s and Hardy present extraordinary ily catfical ideas Violence aggression and hashytred fawe been very misunderstood in mental healthy and often professionals have thrown up d m r hands in frustxatitm not kncvwing even wfaere to b ^ t n to address these p r o b -lema Tfae way tfaat we currendy addreas tfaese problems is io^ iocarcetate indtviduals Tfae problem with so ldy jailing people wfao comshymit hate crimes is chat beingin jail devalues a p e n o a even m o r e creates an even morcpciH found sense o f a loss o f commumty increases tfae pecaonaaense o f loaa multiplies fait expeshyrience o f anger fermenting tfae rage like a fine wine only to bc uncorked in even more violent ways when the person is released from prison I bd ieve thougfa tfaat Hardy and Riggs provide us witfa s o m e d u e s o f faow t o address fao- mophobia in bo th its intemal (see next m o m h ) and extemal forms

I bd ieve the mos t important thing that each and every one of us can d o to counter hoshymophobia is to accept a stance of zero tolershyance This is difficult because zero tolerance requires us to be out to be seen and to be heard T h e most important t h i r ^ that we c a n d o to address homophobia is to be out loud and proud Wc need to diminate homophobia from within oursdves our ampmilies our friendshyships ou r workplace our places of worship our neighborhoods our schools^ and our gov^ e m m e n t (I could go on but I think you get the picture) T h e only Way that w e can d o this is by be ingseen

T h e second thing diat we need to d o is to interrupt the cycle o f grief and lossj This is especially true for those of us w h o are vested with t^o^^er responsibility and authority in

bull bull bdquo bull bull bull

bull bull bull - bull T H p E M P T Y C L O S E T B7 our soctai instituticms Here I am spedfically talking to t ealt l i e r a n^ l^ua leaders law enshyforcement agents heaidi care pfofesdonalaraquo hcwyets government offidals piiiiBc servants and p e o p k in tfae acts and media Al t faou^ tfais might be difficult wc need to interrupt the cyde of violence by hdp ing horabpfaobcs ap-propi ia tdy cfaannd t h d r anger arid rampgeraquo ce-stDie tfaeir senae o f community re-faumanize tfaetr experiefice of kgtss and counteract dieir sense of b d n g devalued

I am not suggesting diat we respond to faomophobia througfa counfier-attacks aad vioshylence (an eye for an eye) or tfatough Christian passivity ( tum die other ched^ bu t catfaer from a stance of strength zero tolerance and appropriate and firm action

Womanspirit By Dr P a u l a

deChelly Ftaminine power and music Music is one ofmy passions I enjoy listening to it dandf^ to it t a k i n g my foot to it and fidling asleep with it What I like die absolute most about music is playing i t

I grew u p in a musical family with the exception of my father who snored off-key through church hymns and would require a nudge to stand up for the Star Spangieti Banner My mother was a gifted but sdf-sacrificing musician For 40 years she volunteered her services as organist o fhe r church (never tniss-ing a Sunday) She also taught most of the children in o u r small town piano lessons for practically nothirig

I m not certain if it was my mother s devalushying o f hersdf as a musidan or my brother^s elevated position as t h c musician of the family that first began to awaken me to femishynist Consdousness

My growing awareness of the inequality beshytween men and women musicians was experishyenced outside of myfamiiy as welt When 1 was

taken to professional orchestra concerts I couldnt h d p but notice that the majority of die performers and all of die conductors were tnen This situation of course was ignored and never discussed sending me the strong unconsdous message diat this is just the way it is SQ don t tfaink you will ever be able t o reach your dreams or potential

As childrcn are apt to d o I adopted this blatant denial of tfae reality that women musishyd a n s are at a distinct disadvantage Indeed I propelled myself blindly through a music conshyservatory and out into thc world as a professhysional musidan

As a fteelance musician and private studio teacher in the Denver Colo area I fbund a community where all musicians but particushylariy women had to pay their dues in a way that fdt to me to bc disrespectful and unsupportive Having no models t o look to that would h d p provide honest reflcctioti I struggled fiercely against tfae feelings of dlsempowerment that once again permeated my Hfe

Perhaps the magnitude of the awe I experishyenced this week playing a concert with the Greater Rochester Womens Philharmonic was directiy rcdated to an empowering shift of perception around the oppression I had inter-nali^ficd Thc shift was similar to the One Tve had at the Women s Music Festival in Michishygan It s an awareness of safety and acceptance rhat allows mc to let my guard down and rdax at last

The G R W P plays one concert each year and donates its free-will offering to the Alternashytives For Batteted Women s Shdter i t is no coinddence that there exists a paralld in the oppression faced by women musicians and by battered women The hope that this concert offers all women is profound

A petite smiling conductor in a sparkling jacket steps onto the podium and a sea of women in long black dtesses b ^ ^ to move with the spirit of enthusiasm beauty power

and connectedness The audiences and the musidans responded as if soothed by a coni-

forting healing balm M a y b e t h c r e a s o n r n u s i c h a s gtccn sxich a

catalyst in my Ufe fias been thc incredibe power it has to heal All I know fbr certain is diat now I am moving in all o f my life with a greater sense of ease an expanded consciousshyness of oppression and a lot more joy

Pattia deCbeiiy PhD is an edtteatorattdpsjtcbc-therapist in ptiitatepractice who speeialii^s in wttmen s

tssnes

Edith H Bernstein CSW Ucens^ SocM Worker

Expert^ m self Image problem reeolution couplecommg^crtfon

(SBdmg Fee Scale)

[gtyleuroe Psycl ie By Esther Rothblum

L a v laquo n lt l laquo r J a t i laquo s d l l l o v e s w o m e h

What s the first thing diat comes to mind when we talk about womens music Many lesbians will recall Alix Dobkin s album lavender Jane Loves Women I recendy spoke with Alix and asked how she first became a lesbian musidan

I was writing about my own life she recalled so music was part o f m y consciousshyness raising Alix had been a professional folk singer for many years I was at tfae right place at thc right time with the right background doing the rig^t thing she told me

Alix produced a number o f a lbums o f womens music Lattettder Jatte Loim Wotttett (1973) t h i n g With Ltsinans (1976) X C 4 U X (1980) Tlese Wtaeen (1986) YaJwt Amstr^ia (1990) and iMPe An d Pbiities (1992 a compilashytion album) Uptng With Lopender Jane (1998) was a re-release o n t o C D of the fitst two albums In addition^ AMx Dobkins Adtwttttns

In VTotttens Mttsic (Noi Jttst A Sampn^book) was published in 1978

I adced Alix wfaat otfaer m u raquo c was around for lesbians wfaen she first began performing T h e answer no t much Robin Tyler had p r o shyduced Maxine Feklman in 1972 a 45-rpm record with two songs There was the Chicago Women s Liberation Rock Band and the N e w Haven Womens Liberation Rock Band Double Album And in N e w York Lesbian Feminist Dbera t ion conducted a talent show and reshycorded i t mdash t h e record was called A Fem Loptt^ Women Latmuierjane Loties I^Mwivwas tfae first album of women s music tfaat was distributed internationally

T h o s e days were tremendously exdt ing Alix said First of all I was writing about myself as a ksbian I was writing the kinds o f songs in which you could no t change a proshynoun and have it still tnake sense In odier words you c6ukl ioot cjiange iny music into faeterosexual abc^a^iTfaey were cleariy and opeidy s o i ^ about w o m e n k m s ^ women I realized tfaat as long as I was writing songs like that I was writing unique material N o one faad ever written that before and even title w o m e n dependirig on lesbian audiences almost never write about lesbians mdash in fact they ra rdy ment ion women

Even today Alix feels that there is a great need for lesbians to be writing about d i d r lives She has sensed at times that women s music has received a bad rap when in fact it is precisely because o f the fo remothers in women s music that performers Uke the In-d ^ Giris have been successful

T h e r e is this bdief that women s music is confined to folk music which it never was said Alix T h e negative reaction coming from many young lesbians is due latgely to the backshylash against feminism O u r communities very much reflect what is going on in the worid generally and feminism has been distnissed evert by w o m e n tn our own communities I would rtfeommend t h e book Eltiwi But t By Eyes 71raquoi Cttltitre OfWotttentMitsirFe^itfalt^ by

Bonnie Morris (Alyson Pre i s 1999^ ^ t an excellent bvervie^i arid more details W o m e n s rniisicis abour nusngcbn^Cibusiess and nriosc pgteoplc don t even know whar that is any more Furthermore due to budget cuts in education weve also lost a generation that was schooled

to appreciate music Nevertheless Alix is excited by the fact that

many of her performances these days are at universities so that she does have an impact on young women

After a lifetime in New York Alix is now living in Califomia She still performs around the country and is involved with a club that features concerts by women and holds and furthers our culture The director Barbara Price used to c o - p r o d u c e the Michigan Womyns Music Fcsrival Alix is writing a colshyumn for Chicago Outiines and working on a book o f h e r memoirs

Visi t Alix D o b k i n s w e b p a g e a t www ladys l ipper o rg vendors ladys l ipper alixdobkinxtmL

T o order Alix Dobkin s muaic and music by other women and lesbian muakians contact Ladyslipper Music P O Box 3124 D u r h a m N C 27715 teL 1-800-634-6044 o r 919-383-8773

EstberRtttbMttmisaProfessttri^Ptythokigitattbe UmtfersityoJ Vermont andEtIitoroJtbe]QMttk3X of Lesbian Studies She can be reaebed at John Dewey HaU University t^Vermont BnrHngton VT emait estber rotbbbtmtvmedtt

KEN SALTZMAN A PAINTER

ESTIMATES 6 5 4 - 6 1 7 4

Kl^l lC U A ^ ^ I

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WINTER BLIZZARD After the Picnic Blowoul

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JULY 1999

^owanna VadcHtudc Serves up her ^rnious

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INDEPENDENCE DAY 4

Shltraquowtime 11pm DJ Sammy

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H A i m T O U M h ^ Y H K BCACPTSiare i t with the rest of the gay community The Empty Qo$cc Is always looking for information regarding events and soctai activides if you know somadiing sand it to us Submissions are due by the I Sth of each month at The Empty C k M t 179 Atlantk Avlaquo^ Rochester NY 14607-1255 Or call 244-9030

Colunmists Dyke Psyche Esther Rothblum interviews musician AlixDobkit i

P A G E BI8

Calendar bull Check out thc complete list of

Pride Week events here July 14-18

PAGEBI2

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Gay Groups bull A Rochester chapter of the

political action g roup Lesbian Avengers is forming

P A G E B2

Check it out bull Enter ta inment Night l i fe Opinshy

ion Why don t Blacks and whites socialize together

S E C T I O N

Coming up

Suzanne Morgan wil l portray Alice in Wonderland

WildWinr imin host^ Maeurolfea Farty fundraiser July 25 Enjoy elegant desserts aiul tea served in a lovely garden Wear your favonte hat and join in a rousinggame of croquette Witness actual scenes as Alice herself recalls her adventures m Wonshyderland Where and when you ask

O n Sunday J uly 25 at 2 pm at 35 Argyle St when Wild Wimmin Theatre Company hosts their Srst annual Mad Hatter Garden Tea Party

We wanted a fundraiser chat was unusual and entertaining says Sharon Jeter artistic director of the company The originai idea of a dessert event came from a good ftiend and thc planning committee just expanded on it The garden party evohred into a Mad Hatter theme jusd the rest just foUowed

Members of thc Wild Wimmin Company will serve desserts and portray an array of characters from the original ^ ^ laquo WamptttMojtti story led by Suzanne Morgan who will bring Alice herself to life This is definitely a party with a tbeatre aspect rather than a dieatre performance with a party aspect The guests will be able to sodalize and enjoy rcfreshmeitts while scenes from the story are reinacted at various times throughout thc afternoon Those attending are aft iced to wear their fovorite hat as there will be prizes for the most original the lazgest-and the most practical

The tea party comes jtist three months after the dosing of the wikOy successful Z ioir IDMMM

IFMn^^ i6tf J M I I igtKtf The company tealized the need for this type of evem Willi the decision to expand their 1999-2000 season to thcee full leii^th piays and one st^iDd leadings

T h i s is a first for us says Jeter During our fitat fbur yeais we haive het^ m a prodiac-tion sdieduie of fust two ptays per yeai^ but oor audiences bave bete asldqg for moie An ez-paoded pcodncdoo scfagdule tequna an ex-pafkded bodlget Royalties aod tfaeatie leasing akioe w ^ qBlaquot ovorf^OOO tlus cont f^ aeasoo Add to the coat o f aets costsanes and pdDCMg attd we ate ampr fimn our tnttable be-giniiiiigMa 499S when ^HMaa earned a total

TWf^lnt^UbtfSfimSfalsar^rlmafeC^uc Rim Festivai onjuly 29 at Utde Theatre One

laquo ^ ^ ^ mdash _ _ - _ mdash ^ ^ e j u f y 2 9 Atnish^taUj^d^di^qui^^ hotn j3CK^]ViQsuejtf^^4 are just a few ofthe obstades

tsfincgt ypu i^ men jn s c ^

IS a bdquo^^^--

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- - gt ^ 5 H ^ ^ ^ Gaj^pbcil) tries ovit a local gay bar seemingly looking for - fOlaquoM^j^ Stances with Mark (John Paul Pitoc) a musoilar go-

^pf$ltbtauntt)t4^both find each other in thc same subway car later that night Your km b o y i i ^ i ^ thong^^fabnelthinksj

Qri evenings events for Gabriel and Madt and thats when the real fun

ic own foe ampquickcoxtsummadon they encounter one barrier after cdgiDl over their oneioom apartment for his own

tfiiand|i rjhp raquo buaUy preparing for her all-female off-off-off ^^^lOili^^^to^t^lA^ doesnt seemtp get the hint Then theres

Wa|9BfdgtGilt^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ d ^ M p k ttad Gabrid persevere and that steamy n ^ t of sex seems

^cc^ip|i |^jcir^]^^ thetwo r^l i^s^^ieiraquoj^ and fiUed with memorable scenes^ induding cal pijugtltg^kilraquoCM^ Christian Campbell makes for a believable

wbps^dijp^ti^^ eyes arid demeanor tell a different tale o f the real bull bull ^ ^ s

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budget of S400 We need to be prepared so that we can continue to present the hig^ qualshyity professional productions our audiences are accustomed to

Anyone who wishes to support the efforts of Rochesters first and only all-female theatre company is invited to attend this event Howshyever attendance will be United to 150 so it is important that you reserve your spot eariy Thc Mad HafrrCatt tmT^Patt^m^nmtoiri 2 to S p0x on Sundayjuly 25 in the g^cden at 35 Aigyle Sc at East Ave In the event of inclement weather the event will be held inshyside Susan Heidts beautiful histotk bouse The cost is $ t 0 per incfividnal and StSi ie t couple Resacvatiofla may be aoade liy caltiag 654T09-

irvuigeOiit Fi lm Festival news a iiKifve amp a j i i ly inovie Moiie volunteets moce shows aod now moce

space Due to the generous support ftom the LGBT community and its friends and the desire to locate in an accessible building (with an elevator and convenient parking) the ImageOut Film Festival office is now at the Village Gate

It is on d)e second floor of 302 North Goodman S t (the beige brick building with the t r iat^es at the top) Enter through the double doors across the courtyard from the BopoporfTomparidiaieaAdttoug^the door under Mack Gtoeniogs mural Eye to eye over a cup

H i e Inu^eOut tdephone number (271-264C^acxl fraquoc number (271-3798) cematn the sacne but the new mailingaddcess ts Im^eOut 302 North Goodman Scraquo Box 29 Rochesier N Y 146071149

Join Icna^eOut the Empire Scate Pride Agenda die GAGV and Come Ouc And Play for tfae Bcaak a Sweat for Prida Qdaiwe^^afcy oo Friday July 16 at Hie Gate a aew club locaied at 444 Cermal Ave at tfae coiner of

Trick contintAed on nlaquox t page

Ormond St (the former site of the Spaghetri Warehouse) Sec InuigeOut marching in the Pride Parade and at the Cultural Festival on July 17 and visit the Film Fesdval tent at the Pride Picnic on J uly 18 at Genesee Valley Park

The ImageOut summerrime film event will bc pre-release screening of Tridt starring Tori Spelling and Sean Campbell (see the film review above) at the Litde Theatre on Thursshyday July 29 Tickets arc $10

T t o year ImageOut will bc a week eariier than last year The Fesdval will open on Friday Oct 8 at The Litde Theatre and close on Saturday Oct 16 at the Dryden Theatre ImageOut is adding a late evening show at the Dryden Theatre for a total of four shows there

Poetry for Pride T h e G ^ A i y a n c e will host Generation Q a reading to celebrate GayLesbianBisexual Pride Week on Thurscky July 15 at 7 pjn at the GAGV Conununity Center 179 Adandc Ave

C o m k i g u p contii i ist td o n iMxt fMftt

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Conning up continued f rom p BI The local poets and prose writers who will

perform indude Beth Bailey Jack Bradigan Spula John Coakley Sharon Jeter and other members of thc Wild Women theater troupe SusanJordanTony Leuzzi and Michde Spring-Moore Thc reading will be sign language intershypreted and the first fioor of tbe Gay AUiance building has a wheelchair Uft and an accessible restroom The event is free although donashytions for the Gay Alliances pride celebradon activities will be collected

For more information call thc GAGV at 244-8640

Out on video 4 Very Noturo Thing B y L e w O j e d a A Ver^ Natttnd Tbittg Director Christopher Laridn Starring Robert Joel Curt Gareth Bo White

As a r^ular featuce in thc E i t t ^ 0lt Wflaquo I will be reviewing films available for rental or purshychase on video hig^ilighting the gay lesbian and bisexual experietKe I Kgtpe to concentrate on films that are not as generally wdl known as coirunerdal rdeases

More than 25 years have passed since the theatrical rdease of ^ Very Naittral Thiitg the first nationally distributed inde|gtendent film by an openly gay director When first rdeased this fiim caused such controversy both with straight critics and with some gay audiences that its prospects for box office success were all but crushed But watching the film with some hindsight should prove quite revealing not only because this seemingly simple story is very well written and acted but aiso lgtccause it presents provocative ideas about relationships and sexual identity that Hollywood still can^t touch

The film stars Robert J o d as David a former monk turned teacher who meets Mark an insurance salesman (played by Curt Gareti^) in a bar fails in Aove-4Ad eventually ^moves ki-with him As Vito Russo author af the great

baolc on Hatiyv^oampd fiims The t e dnoMi ltSios0f cJcveriy points out David and Niark go through their eariy married period in a giddy parody of Ljove Stoty rolling through the leaves watchitig each other shave and making love to a swelling melodramatic soundtrack Just as with numershyous hetero movies probletns arise Mark doesnt want to be tied down and David shows signs of excessive neediness

They try to mend their relationship by exshyperimentation but visits to Fire Island bath houses and orgies dont hdp and the union is permanendy damaged David is then forced to reevaluate what he really wants as he begins falling in love with a divorced photographer named Jason (Bo White)

Much of the movie may have todays audishyences wondering what the big deal was about Its basicaUy a very taiky movie one in which the nature of love relationships and sexual politics are discussed with characters comfortshyably seated In fact someone could invent quite a drinking game by imbibing every time David says Lets talk This is a movie about ideas and in part because it is viewed as the first important American gay lib film from a gay filmmaker perhaps it was pressured to achieve too much Straight audiences had to bc convinced thatgajrs have thc very same probshylems with rdadonships as heterosexual couples

and gay audiences needed to be placated with a strong sense of pride for who they were

The latter point could be a reason why intershyviews with real gays and lesbians during a pride march were tnduded in the iiKtvie Men and women wearing long hair afros and beU botshytoms talking about how important it is to come out may be interesting to watch but in hindshysight I think the interviews actuaUy date die film I kept feding thdr statements were so detached from Larkins screenplay that their indusion panders to viewers sensibiiities and doesnt give a real glimpse into the lives of those brave interviewees who dedded to risk everything and come out Larkin had the right idea by pladitg actors Robert Joel and Bo White within the march but he should have kept die event as a backdrop Uke ditector Haskdl Wexler did in the film MetUtttti CTcewhen he positioned Robert Forster and Vema Bloom in the foreshyground of the 1968 Chicago Rio^

Thc fictional Uves of the characters (espeshycially Davids) arc much morc interesting beshycause they are dynamic David Marie and Jashyson dont live in a world of gay Ub dogqia Instead their Uves arc fiUed with joy uncershytainty and reflection and when compared to most gay characters in mainstream movies are much more human in thdr complexity Igtavids apoUtical nature and Jasons acceptance of a semi-distant rdationship are provocative ideas in movies even today because their decisions and actions do not follow a fonnula by deshymanding compliance just to satisfy the script

This independent thinking is what makes A Very Naitind Thing so important today With mainstream gay movies like Itt cV Out rdeased by a self-congratulating HoUywood its very important to remember that many gay and lesbian independent filmmakers present ideas and attitudes HoUywood stiU shys away from

Thats why we have filmmakers Uke Bruce La Bruce G r ^ Araki and Greta SchiUer And thats why we have Christopher Larkin to thank

T H c k cont f inued f r o m p I

John Paui Pitoc looks and sounds like the guy archetype he is supposed to be on the outside and his no-friUs dcUvery in thc first part ofthe film fits perfecdy with his character However as his character becomes more than just a pretty face (both in die eyes of Gabrid and the audience) Pitoc presents thc mind behind the body and dcUvcrs an impressive feature film debut A definite scenc-stealer in IricJk is Tori SpdUng the loud comic aspiring actress Katherine SpeUings performance is steUar and probably her best to date She takes aU the humorous aspects of thc stereotypical fag hag and blends them with a fast-talking yet goofy actress who has an answer for everyshything

Director Jim Fall a busy New York stage director makes an impressive feature film deshybut with this vibrant urban fairy-tale that afshyfirms the possibiHty oflove in the most unUkdy of circumstances but that does not resort to the usual sap and saccharine ofmany other love stories or date flicks A smatt script clever and insightful acting and a frustratingly funny story Une make TnfJk the summer must-sec ofgay dnema

TtickwiUbc shown atan IncageOut fundraiser pre-release screening (a month before its offishycial opening) on Thursday July 29 at the Ii tde Theatre One For more details caU 271-2640

EntertaHtmentNlghtlife Opinion Racism and the bar scene W h y cant Blacks and whites socialb^e tlt^etiier7

-r~i^-- x-

BySusanJordan lea Major has worked as a bouncer in local bars and dubs fbr 8ltM3e years As an African American hc has observed a radsm endemic not only to Rochester and not only to bars but to institutions througfiout the LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual ttansgender) commushynity and throughout thc country Major feds that it is time to begin a community diak^ue on radsm and other forms of bias so that a new generation ofgays does not continue to rcpUcate among oursdves the prejudiced discrimirutory attitudes and behavior wc so ofien experience from heterosexuals

Major said that he remembers tfae Rochshyestcr bar scene in tbe 70s bullThere waa a lot of radsm diere but you just desdt with it There was no place dse to go (but thc local gay bars) After 13 years In Arizona he returned to the Rochester area in 1992 I come back 13 years later and tts^till hapshypening Why dont bar owners care about certain segments ofthe community

Major said that he worked as a bouncer at a local bar and on one night ofthe week as he puts it AU thc family came out Blacks and whites The whites would stay on one side ofthe bar and the Blacks would go back where thc music was Thc owners denied that there was a problem Major said that bartenders would distinguish not only beshytween Blacks and whites but between what he termed preppie Black Idds and the Itids who look Uke hip-hoppers

Major commented I remember when The Friars and Jims were open in thc 70s Black itids had a hard time getting into both clubs they hadnj^hiye three or four forms of ID to get in while white kids didnt The iaw rcquifcs fust one form of identity Bartenders wouldnt wait on Black customshyers until theyd waited on white customers One time we went to Jims and they wouldnt let us in I went and got 15 to 20 Black kids and we made sure wc all had IDs and they had no choice but to let us in

Major continued Today its different The racism stiU exists but now its more underhand They stiU make you wait for cocktails and serve you lesa than the next (white) person Then thcy complain about tips but why should you tip ifthe bartender isnt being fair Im trying to get the chilshydren in this town to open their eyes and understand were aU going through the same things Black or white White kids shouldnt fear Black kids and Black kids shouldnt feei uncomfortable around whites Thc only thing I can think is that we need to open up and talk to one another Thats thc only way weU get to know each other and leam that yes wc have different cultures but were all the same Wc need to stop bdng so judgeshymental We need to bc morc friendly to try to be more social with one another

When he worked in bars Major said 1 was always the icebreaker and I would ask bodt Black and white Idds why dont you talk to each other and get to know each other Youll find you bave a lot in conunon You work the same jobs shop at the same stores eat at tite same restaurantsHe added I dont underscand it and I want to know why we have so mudt separation in 1999 Lets do something about this

Msforobserved tfaat almost the only event in die wtttte gay oommuoity that draws laige oxtahert o f gays o f cokM is tfae G A G V picnic but even tfaere people tend to stay

Ira Maior

with their friends and there is comparativdy Utde auxif^ between white people and peofMie of color

The dubnight run on Saturdays by Charies Stevens at Gabbys off Chestnut St downshytown is where young Black gays lesbtans and bis arcgoingnow according to Major White kids go there too Major said and Black and white kids get together and party He hopes that the prejudices of an oider generashytion WtU not be passed on^ artd feds that many people in their 20s both Black and white have a different attitude nowadays

Major feds that music is key to bringing people together and says that most Rochesshyter dubs dont play thc music that young Black and Latinoa people are interested in The Black and Hispanic doUar is imporshytant he said They say were only a smaU segment but wed be a larger s^men t if we were offered something Tlie music in bars is more aitemative theyre not playmg Top 40 Black music Its jast Deborah Cox and Whitney HoustonmdashtheyU play that to death but thats aU The Black kids are always asking why that is

Some clubs offer special music on weekshynights to bring in more customers Major asked Ifyou offer countrjwestem nights why not offer urban (soul RampB hiphop world etc) nights or Spanish nights on those slow nights You make suggestions like that and thcy look at you Ukc youre crazy I dont understand what is wrortg wich thc Black or Hispanic or female doUar

Things arc different in New York City Major said That is what New York dubs are doing mdash tnixing white black and Spanish music mdash and theyre fabulous Upstate New Yotk should be iititovative enough to have the NY sound thc Califomia sound DJs should be innovative enough to bring the kids together In the 70s Donna Sununer and Gloria Gaynor and those performers werent mainstream it was just in gay dubs where youd hear them The DJs brought them out DJs should search for the leaUy hot new music today For one thing they dont mix Uke thcy used to They should ce-leam how to mix oot just play rite CD and whats on the radio The music b r i i ^ everybody together

In h o p ^ of starring an ongoing commushyttity dialogue on these issues Major urges any member of tite LGBT community (Black White Asiart Latinoa Native American Padfic Islander etc) cosendcommencs^ideas and suggesttoos on tfae subfect of ovccoMn-ing tadsm within otur ctmunnnity to Lettert to tfae BdiMMr TArJSa^ lt3htt^ 179 Adaotic Avei^ Rocfaester R Y 14607^

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An artist hopefully at some point in his life is driven by forces call them a passion for beauty and an urgency to express his feelings that can bc compelling When die driving force mens beauty becomes intense theres a chance judgement may falter T h c heart is always fragshyile

Speeding somewhere I cut duough my n e i ^ -borhood park an area favored by casual jogshygers and serious runners Ahead I saw a perfect body short and lean with broad shoulders topped by a mane of bouncing jet black hair I timed as I passed an saw an Asian face -mdash high cheekbones narrow eyes mdash totally concenshytrated Struck by the mans beauty I s topped my car my thoughts racing ahead scrambling for a strategy

I shouted out I want to draw you can you taik to me Through gasps for air he shouted O n c e more around the lake w a i t I waited 30 minutes He should have been back in five I stood mute humiliated my face crimson beshyyond thc heat of the day Hed had my number fog on the make Being an artist snt easy

I accepted the shame because in a way the runner hiraquod been right Motives overiap While I want to make something lovely mdash that is or used to bc what art is aboutlaquo and expression connected to the thing a mans body that I admire mdash there is no way for a stranger a hunk whos probably been hit on more than once to understand So on a sunny summers day instead of feeling happy because thc wpather is fine I sank into gloom

I shouldnt beat up on myself Artists inshyspired by nature walk in thc wood Artists who paint bouquets grow flowers It s only fair only logical that an artist who admires male physical pgtcrfection should seek out beaushytiful men

I fyou want to draw bodies you can take a class and thc models there run the fuil range mosdy in thc wrong direction T h c theory being that ali sizes shapes and ages are wor thshywhile challenge Past thc schooling phase one wants to apply the acquired skills to objects of choice Ove r the years some models have sought me ou t after having seen my work H ip college kids like Mikey an engineering student who was a rock climber and dyed his hair green were the cool types diat could matter-of-facdy handle sittiog around naked (People you know like to expand dieir inventory of O r one may be ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ y

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O n a sunny summer aftemoon as I sat in my of high voltage soap opera car waiting for the signal to t um green I saw a O u r encounters were once or twice a year jogger lope along Winton Road Possessed by and then for a few weeks at a stretch Some-an intuitive impulse I fximbled in my glove times hed wander up at outdoor festival often compartment for my business card Once the with a girlfriend just to say hello light tumed green I changed lanes rolled down I learned he had dropped out of school the passenger window and slowed down I gone on a few years later to the local commu-tapped the car h o m thrust my hand out the nity coUege where hed majored in commercial window and nearly choked managing a casual art He brought me his portfolio a few draw-tone Vd like to use you as a model Fm an ings hed copied from magazines mdash those artist heres my nvimbcr call me Finely were awkward his drawings from life were muscled beautifully tanned graceful he was better His aptitude seemed to bc for design perfect Then a long stretch with no encounters

In the moment it is impossible to untangle O n e day 1 saw him again and we talked about feelings The attraction to physicai beauty is a doing some more drawings When he came horrendous mix of lust and aesthetics For over I gasped at his pierced nipple His legs years I have chosen to make drawings and were smooth shaved His pubic hair neady paintings of men The craft and discipiine of trimmed WTiat are you doing Dancing in making art are rigorous and satisfying Making a club he said with a sly smile Yikes this an has legitimized my homosexuality given it man-child that 1 fett protective about had be-focus and expression Whiie Id never discuss my reasons for making an with a model most of them intuitively seem to understand andit also seems to enjoy their role

l^ ter that afternoon to my astonishment thc youiig nixi phoned t i c caxtic over yenc talked and he agreed to work for me

As it happened his father was an artist and hed g rown up in an environnient that enabled him to appreciate nsy work His parents were

come a go go dancer In a gay bar Hed always said hc liked to dance

The 17-year-old was 25 now not a kid anyshymore He d gone through school moved out on his own -had- a scries of teauonsVups

grow^n up- My rcacrion was a mix o f curiosity and fear I grilled him like a parent

Thc stories he told me werent entirely pleasshymg He liked the money He loved to dance

now estranged he lived with his mother Thcy The spodight appealed to him Gay bars were had recendy tnoved from a small town to a widening theit clientele he coxild actually meet neighborhood not far from my house women while dancing in bars Yet the men

Hc wlaquot 17 1 tt^d him he needed to discuss who stuffed doUars into his g-string were crass my p t epo$ t i with his parents He had the They offered him money for sex A lot of fooliriichlaquommigcltMifidelaquoceof theyoungand money T h e kid Id known since he was a shy

assiund me h e couldiDske fus own decisions Noocdydbstflj^oketiitfa his father We began ^ o d m g W i g f i i m thsc sutBiaer

fwsmaiampr^^pet^Keaat^^axi cause a range of refiectiooff Vou c a n ^ d bsd about not work-

high school drop-out told me hed been disapshypointed by the way people were capable of behaving Yeah weli thats thc way it is but who ever wants to see an innocent collide with the reality My only choice was to accept the

experiences) W h o am I to speculate ifthe guys like Mikey or John my nautilus tn^net were bucidingexhifaitioakc Apound eny x^te sofne like J o h o ^ ^ i ^ k t e r went o n t o mitScaA sdkool became ftiends kept in t o u d i Uxtg after we worked e ^ e t h e r

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and traquo J i S e ^ a respoose as assent A i n o d d witb a ^ c c d body wfao otAf wants t o m^ce a few bdcfaa xauibe perfecdy adequate A rnodel ndko epin|MiaA|iac3 witfa tfae creative pfoccaa o n tfae olaquol||p|MMKl often cteatca a synlaquogist ic jf^mH^tijif^j^ laquobe al^aiid ^eqeakAy jftie moik-iim^imm^-h^a^ ^ ^ result of a bullColiafaopnivc cfloit bull

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ing out more or rue the effects ofagc One may changes in his life Tlie drawings as always

daydream of seduction the cost be damned were fine The next spring I wanted to draw I left one

phone message then another I wasnt troubled He d always drifted in and out of my life I knew I cotdd depend on him

Then a few weeks later after I returned from a vacation I dropped off some film and a de rk in the store came over Vou were a friend of A I know he told me about you Did you hearv4iathaj^gtcned bullNo He dropped dead of an aneurysm before work in his apartshyment

H e was 27

capture on gtaper an essence of perfection frozen in time through the making o fa draw-log T o i ^ calls are what Hfe is about

H i e kid had a body that responded to workshying-out and for reasons I couldnt know he obsessed about thac He went to the gym religiously The pride he took in the achieve-

always r o u t e d

For a gay man w h o had largely considered himself eicduded from the prerogatives of the dominant cultute and free poundroro its constraints a man wfao viewed faimsdf as an oudaw to find faitaadf ta a sitnation in wfaicfa fae opts to be motai teapectfbl faonorable was botfa new aod gratifyifig I wanted tfae experience o f knowing htm of feeling that he liked me I made nice conversation and because fae under-4lood tfaat I was gay and because I didnt fait on

M O C H A Chat

By Stanley Byrd

ipglaquop i f i laquo l S S S g S i laquo ^ laquo r S e r 1raquoilaquolaquo laquoxplaquod him laquoi he alaquocplaquod me o v laquo raquomMMdlaquoMiktllaquoiaaitlMitMBIathesgtdfig montht we belaquome ftiends He had a naiciMraquo-

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I nc raAsb ig u n d e r s t a n d i n g Some may take objection to the description of diis country diis dty and diis coihmuxuty as otie tfaat still fosters radsm sexism and fao-

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is bowever d u t whedier or not you fed betieve s u p p o n o r act o h tfaese mecfaanisina o f fiear and

separation tliey are our soda l and psychologishycal inheritance

Tfaere a te many people and groups (dio are doin^great diings for t h e gay and larger com-mutt^r Tfaeir good deeds and actions d o no t go ttOAOdced T h e gay conMsfmnity has such diversity and witfain eacfa g roup the diversity

is immense This inheritance for bet ter or worse is

imbedded in the fabric o f society i ndud ing school churches the media and other institushytions As ment ioned in June s M O C H A Chat one of the most signlBcance and damaging aspects of these i sms and phobias is the internalization of them T h e i sms and p h o shybias shape a n d o r distort our reality Wc take on and internalize some of the generalizashytions and misinformation into our personal make-up and belief systems T h e racism sexshyism stnd faomopfaobia are n o w working on us in die absence o f an oppressor Many r ^ogn i zed this conditioned med ian i sm as internalized oppression This oppress ion sits deejay o n us shapgtes our conscious and subconscious behaviors and belief systems

Internalized oppression keeps us separate from each other and other groups in the folshylowing ways it lowers our self-esteem and sense of seif worth it separates us from people in other groups Some o f t h e phrases used that constitute this kind of thinking are Am I good enough Are you worthy of me They cant understand my s t r u c k I cant trust diem

For many of us the most devastating effect of internalized oppression is that it separates us from those within our own group This can be evidenced by our distrust and lack of supshyport for each other Some of the statements that are made are They are not trufy Black Latino gay 2A2Blacks Latinos gays act this way They are traitors to our groupThey don t understand the real experience of being Black Latino gay 1 feel like an outsider even though I want to be accepted and belong Hes too dark shes too Ught Hc got good hair l^ook how they talk^ i- r

17ic above is ltnJy m Vifry sntAjI smmpUng^ n f the verba messages we give c^ch other The internalized messages from our oppressors go on and on and set up a cycle of internalized oppression that creates deep-rooted self-depshyrecating programming

Some of this conditioning or programming may have been useful for self-protection in our eariy developmental stages But as adults some of it keeps us stuck in patterns that have outlived their usefulness It contributes to our decision-making when we are trying to conshynect and negotiate with o ther human beings especially around the issues of safer sex pracshytices and other sodal interactions taking o n leadership roles support ing and advocating for individual rights

Oppression in any of its forms does harm to both the oppressor and the victim Many of the roles are pre-scribcd before we even are aware they exist Based o n this sodalizatio^i institutionalization rationalization and sepashyration oppression limits freedom and joy for all As a proponent advocate and activist for the elimirution of oppression o f all people it sometimes fceU limiting to identify discuss and activdy advocate for just one or two groups N o one is free until all of us are free mdash perpettatoc and victim

Once we identify diese limiting roles many traquof us try to open ourselves u p to new experishyences and behaviors This is hard deep soul-searching hean wrenching gut-busting work It is also a process that happens over time

W e are all in process As we arc (re) discovshyering our true selves lets be easy on oursdves We have already felt the stings barbs and pain of oppression We will siip n o w and then When trying to (re)-negotiate old and new relationships with family members business assodates and lovers we may fall back into tfae okl sdf-defeating roles and patterns T h e ok behaviors and p a t t e n u are still fbr awfaile more real and more comfbrtable t o us tfaan tfae new befaaviors W e w v e n back to what wc

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B6 T H E E M P T Y C L O S E T J u 1 9 9

know no matter how dangerous painful or soul-robbing

Again we need to be gende with ourselves Life doesn t have ro be the way its always been As humans we have great potential and capadty to be flexible resilient joyful loving sensual intelligent and spiritual people For today start by going within when you fmd yourself in a situation where you don t feel a higher ground was teached between you and another What is keeping you from b d n g your brother s keeper

M O C H A s Brothers Keeper Support group for gay m e n of color meets every fourth Wednesday o f the month from 6 pm to 730 p m CaU 422-6470 for detaHs ^r t o RSVP for the next tneeting

O n Y o u r Side By Karen Robby

^^e aint so bad

IVe just returned from a weekend conference in thc big city mdash New York City that is The city that thinks Rochester is one of those rural upstate N e w York places

Truthfully after a few days in Manhattan Rochester did indeed seem rural Being the energetic person that I am the over-stimulashytion of the city life was a bit much As an adolescent I wanted to move to NYC and I can only thank God I didnt I would have bumed myself to a crisp early in my twenties Yes the excitement is there thc theater the culture and the nighdife but a place 111 keep on my cities to visit list wouldnt want to live there

I b ^ a n to compare some o f t h e attributes that NYC had in the lesbian and gay commushynity scene to Rochesters community This was hard being there such a short rime but 1 tried my best Ya know being the rural comshymunity we ate ha wc arent doing such a bad job We really arent

Saturday night was tbe argcr section of free time I go t to experience in the ciry I was told by a fellow conference person about a local free paper that provided information about the gay and lesbian nightspots Before I left the hotel room 1 decided to look in the phone books for some of the names of clubs Id already heard of N o luck N o listings for them mdash yellow or white p s ^ s Lots of other altershynativesexual type of clubs bu t all advertised with a heterosexual theme

1 was quite surprised This gay and lesbian Mecca without one club listed openly in the phone book and definitely no section for Gay or Lesbian Bars or Clubs Then I remembered it doesn t matter how large the city the issues are still the samemdashpubl ic ly there is srill a need to bc discreet harassment is always possible

So off I went to the Village in search of that publication thatwould be my guide to the bars or d u b s I was seeking

I wandered around die V l l l a ^ fbr a cou|4e hours in search of tfais paper widi absolutidy no luck Every newspaper dispenser and store around had everything but that pubHcation When I actually asked fbr it the person selBr^ papers would avoid eye c o n u c t with me and just shake his head n o Even as I got out of tfac primarily straight area (ie young over-made up women with thd r young studs funny how tfaat was right next door to the queen and dyke streets) this paper was nowhere in sight

I finally found a spot right by Stonewall Park and dedded to ask about any places Id be interested in The man there was kind enough to point me in the right direction Unfortu-rutely after so many hours seardung I no longer had thc energy to attend the one place I had been tumed on to So I just peeked in and I was off on my search for the right Underground entrance to get back to my hotel With that I was successful

My big realization was made N o matter where you go the gay and lesbian community is stiU very dosed I thought Id be able to locate some happening places in no time and be enjoying an evening with NYC dykes but I guess not I guess the next time I visit NYC 111 just have to have more information before I arrive Jus t think it doesnt take all that m u d i to find the Em^Oy Gfewtf youre new to this d ty I believe even some s t r a i t members in the community could point you in the right direcshytion of the paper or even a place you were bull looking for We should be proud of ourselves^ we do a pretty good job at keeping the commushynity informed and easily accessible to newshy

comers Well at lcast I remained safe in the big city

that can be crazy sometimes My hotel was located across ftom Madison Square Garden and the uproar after the JCnicks won was inshycredible The streets filled with thousands o f very happy fans and some that were quite unruly T h e next morning ^hen I tried to exit from the side entrance o f t h e hofei I discovshyered that everything was roped off with police caurion tape There was an attempted murder right in front of the doors N o one knew if the man that was brutally injured was killed or not It remained a mystery Yes indeed Lets all celebrate for the Knicks

I m happy to be back in our litde rural community At least 1 know my choices on any given evening As a matter of fact we have a lot to be proud o f We do quite well at keeping our community togedier and growing I look forshyward to sharing our pride at this years parade and picnic Don t miss thc kick-off party at Craft Co N o 6 See you soon

Karen Robby Prevention Educator AIDS Rochesten 442-2220 x3042

Becoming a Main

Detmis J Faley

LooMi^ a t honioplteigtia II Anger unvented faecogieff bull pain uosfioken

becomes n g c rdeased becotnes violence cha-cha-cha I ended last mondi s ar t ide with diis quote from Marion Riggs fiteraquo Ttmffter UtOied Now this month I w o u l d like to explain this qiuHe as well as anotfaer idea whicfa m ^ t fadp us understand the concept of facMnopiiobia

Violence and hatred generally d o not just happen There are usudly reasons for it alshydiough sometimes the reasons are hard to see and even harder to understand In this a r a d e I would like to provide some kJcas which ndgbt shed some light o n hate motivated crimes and in particular homophobia

Generally speakir^ people who have hatved in their hearts or who partidpate in biasxrimes are people who themselves feel devalued by society and are often no t very well connected within a community For example moampt rapshyists and child molesters arc characterized as loners and odd people they often feel lesser than others around them K K K members often come from thc same socio-economic class as the people they aggress against and 3ften share a similar fecHng with the people hey harm thar of being devalued and opshypressed by financial and sodal limitations The only difference is that they belong to the white majority but fed disconnected socially culshyturally and economically from them

I would like to assert that people who parshyticipate in homophobic acts also fed devalued anddisconnected from their community Most high school smdents w h o scream faggot to the kids who are perceived to be different o r inferior are just as socially awkward as the people they are making fun o f As I discussed last month homophobes are often people who find their own homosexual o r h o m o shyerotic feelings so frightening and foreign and are so petrified of being found out or seen as

different from odiers tfaattfaefaggresa toward

us A cortimon denominator between lApaople

w h o e n s t t e in bias o r faaDe^celM^ e a t a c a is that they e n g s ^ in cfaeseofteiiiH ii i M M I i l M o f attempting to regain a sense o f power and value However ir is a fitJse despenite and weak sense of pCTwer F o r t he rapist and pedoshyphile he commits an act o f violence as a means of demonstrating power atsd ltkgtmlnaace over women and cfaiklfen P o r t he K K K member he b u m s crosses and cfaurcfacs in an a t tempt CD tntimidace and co r c g ^ a sense of power F o r the homophobe he attempts- t o get rid o f hia sense of inadequacy as a m a n by discfaatging his anger against otfaets w h o fae percdves as weaker These arc all vcry desperate at tempts to g ^ a sense p f adeqtiacy arid they are all misdirected expressions o f anger as a result of feelingdevalued anddisconnected i rom a comshymunity

About a year ago I at tended a conference through the Psychotherapy Institute at the U of R Medical Center where a psychologist Dr Kenneth V Hardy from Syracuse University presented his ideas about community violence He suggested that people w h o feel devalued and disconnected from a s t rong sense of comshymunity expcricnceagrief reaction which might help to explain why people aggress against disenfranchised communities (ie women the GLBT community Afttcan-Americans etc) He suggested that there is a very specific grief reaction that he has observed and written about Dr Hardy bd ieves that people w h o fed devalshyued and disconnected from commuoity expeshyrience a sense o f loss which leads to feelings of anger which leads to an expericnre of rage that is expressed through revenge and ending in a sensc-Of resolution

Dr Hardy and Marion Riggs are essentially saying the same thing and I believe applicashytions can easily bc made to understand hoshymophobia through their ideas Hardy is stating that as a result o f a pcrcdved sense of loss people experience an intemal process of anger (^vh ich m a y be either in the individuals aware-

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neas o t not ) wfaicfa leads to a sense of rage that

o f ten ieauhs in its expression tfattgtugh violence

o r ^g)Eessibnandcomplcting tfac cydc tfifougji

a settnraquo o f resohitioa l ikewise Riggs expfatina faofno|ribQfata as-iM experience of u n ^ o k e n a i ^ e r wfaich results in intetnat fceiiogs o f pain diar n e outside o f an individuals consdous awareness which is given voice dirough die experience o f n^gt and culminating in vioshylence^

B o l h R ^ g s and Hardy present extraordinary ily catfical ideas Violence aggression and hashytred fawe been very misunderstood in mental healthy and often professionals have thrown up d m r hands in frustxatitm not kncvwing even wfaere to b ^ t n to address these p r o b -lema Tfae way tfaat we currendy addreas tfaese problems is io^ iocarcetate indtviduals Tfae problem with so ldy jailing people wfao comshymit hate crimes is chat beingin jail devalues a p e n o a even m o r e creates an even morcpciH found sense o f a loss o f commumty increases tfae pecaonaaense o f loaa multiplies fait expeshyrience o f anger fermenting tfae rage like a fine wine only to bc uncorked in even more violent ways when the person is released from prison I bd ieve thougfa tfaat Hardy and Riggs provide us witfa s o m e d u e s o f faow t o address fao- mophobia in bo th its intemal (see next m o m h ) and extemal forms

I bd ieve the mos t important thing that each and every one of us can d o to counter hoshymophobia is to accept a stance of zero tolershyance This is difficult because zero tolerance requires us to be out to be seen and to be heard T h e most important t h i r ^ that we c a n d o to address homophobia is to be out loud and proud Wc need to diminate homophobia from within oursdves our ampmilies our friendshyships ou r workplace our places of worship our neighborhoods our schools^ and our gov^ e m m e n t (I could go on but I think you get the picture) T h e only Way that w e can d o this is by be ingseen

T h e second thing diat we need to d o is to interrupt the cycle o f grief and lossj This is especially true for those of us w h o are vested with t^o^^er responsibility and authority in

bull bull bdquo bull bull bull

bull bull bull - bull T H p E M P T Y C L O S E T B7 our soctai instituticms Here I am spedfically talking to t ealt l i e r a n^ l^ua leaders law enshyforcement agents heaidi care pfofesdonalaraquo hcwyets government offidals piiiiBc servants and p e o p k in tfae acts and media Al t faou^ tfais might be difficult wc need to interrupt the cyde of violence by hdp ing horabpfaobcs ap-propi ia tdy cfaannd t h d r anger arid rampgeraquo ce-stDie tfaeir senae o f community re-faumanize tfaetr experiefice of kgtss and counteract dieir sense of b d n g devalued

I am not suggesting diat we respond to faomophobia througfa counfier-attacks aad vioshylence (an eye for an eye) or tfatough Christian passivity ( tum die other ched^ bu t catfaer from a stance of strength zero tolerance and appropriate and firm action

Womanspirit By Dr P a u l a

deChelly Ftaminine power and music Music is one ofmy passions I enjoy listening to it dandf^ to it t a k i n g my foot to it and fidling asleep with it What I like die absolute most about music is playing i t

I grew u p in a musical family with the exception of my father who snored off-key through church hymns and would require a nudge to stand up for the Star Spangieti Banner My mother was a gifted but sdf-sacrificing musician For 40 years she volunteered her services as organist o fhe r church (never tniss-ing a Sunday) She also taught most of the children in o u r small town piano lessons for practically nothirig

I m not certain if it was my mother s devalushying o f hersdf as a musidan or my brother^s elevated position as t h c musician of the family that first began to awaken me to femishynist Consdousness

My growing awareness of the inequality beshytween men and women musicians was experishyenced outside of myfamiiy as welt When 1 was

taken to professional orchestra concerts I couldnt h d p but notice that the majority of die performers and all of die conductors were tnen This situation of course was ignored and never discussed sending me the strong unconsdous message diat this is just the way it is SQ don t tfaink you will ever be able t o reach your dreams or potential

As childrcn are apt to d o I adopted this blatant denial of tfae reality that women musishyd a n s are at a distinct disadvantage Indeed I propelled myself blindly through a music conshyservatory and out into thc world as a professhysional musidan

As a fteelance musician and private studio teacher in the Denver Colo area I fbund a community where all musicians but particushylariy women had to pay their dues in a way that fdt to me to bc disrespectful and unsupportive Having no models t o look to that would h d p provide honest reflcctioti I struggled fiercely against tfae feelings of dlsempowerment that once again permeated my Hfe

Perhaps the magnitude of the awe I experishyenced this week playing a concert with the Greater Rochester Womens Philharmonic was directiy rcdated to an empowering shift of perception around the oppression I had inter-nali^ficd Thc shift was similar to the One Tve had at the Women s Music Festival in Michishygan It s an awareness of safety and acceptance rhat allows mc to let my guard down and rdax at last

The G R W P plays one concert each year and donates its free-will offering to the Alternashytives For Batteted Women s Shdter i t is no coinddence that there exists a paralld in the oppression faced by women musicians and by battered women The hope that this concert offers all women is profound

A petite smiling conductor in a sparkling jacket steps onto the podium and a sea of women in long black dtesses b ^ ^ to move with the spirit of enthusiasm beauty power

and connectedness The audiences and the musidans responded as if soothed by a coni-

forting healing balm M a y b e t h c r e a s o n r n u s i c h a s gtccn sxich a

catalyst in my Ufe fias been thc incredibe power it has to heal All I know fbr certain is diat now I am moving in all o f my life with a greater sense of ease an expanded consciousshyness of oppression and a lot more joy

Pattia deCbeiiy PhD is an edtteatorattdpsjtcbc-therapist in ptiitatepractice who speeialii^s in wttmen s

tssnes

Edith H Bernstein CSW Ucens^ SocM Worker

Expert^ m self Image problem reeolution couplecommg^crtfon

(SBdmg Fee Scale)

[gtyleuroe Psycl ie By Esther Rothblum

L a v laquo n lt l laquo r J a t i laquo s d l l l o v e s w o m e h

What s the first thing diat comes to mind when we talk about womens music Many lesbians will recall Alix Dobkin s album lavender Jane Loves Women I recendy spoke with Alix and asked how she first became a lesbian musidan

I was writing about my own life she recalled so music was part o f m y consciousshyness raising Alix had been a professional folk singer for many years I was at tfae right place at thc right time with the right background doing the rig^t thing she told me

Alix produced a number o f a lbums o f womens music Lattettder Jatte Loim Wotttett (1973) t h i n g With Ltsinans (1976) X C 4 U X (1980) Tlese Wtaeen (1986) YaJwt Amstr^ia (1990) and iMPe An d Pbiities (1992 a compilashytion album) Uptng With Lopender Jane (1998) was a re-release o n t o C D of the fitst two albums In addition^ AMx Dobkins Adtwttttns

In VTotttens Mttsic (Noi Jttst A Sampn^book) was published in 1978

I adced Alix wfaat otfaer m u raquo c was around for lesbians wfaen she first began performing T h e answer no t much Robin Tyler had p r o shyduced Maxine Feklman in 1972 a 45-rpm record with two songs There was the Chicago Women s Liberation Rock Band and the N e w Haven Womens Liberation Rock Band Double Album And in N e w York Lesbian Feminist Dbera t ion conducted a talent show and reshycorded i t mdash t h e record was called A Fem Loptt^ Women Latmuierjane Loties I^Mwivwas tfae first album of women s music tfaat was distributed internationally

T h o s e days were tremendously exdt ing Alix said First of all I was writing about myself as a ksbian I was writing the kinds o f songs in which you could no t change a proshynoun and have it still tnake sense In odier words you c6ukl ioot cjiange iny music into faeterosexual abc^a^iTfaey were cleariy and opeidy s o i ^ about w o m e n k m s ^ women I realized tfaat as long as I was writing songs like that I was writing unique material N o one faad ever written that before and even title w o m e n dependirig on lesbian audiences almost never write about lesbians mdash in fact they ra rdy ment ion women

Even today Alix feels that there is a great need for lesbians to be writing about d i d r lives She has sensed at times that women s music has received a bad rap when in fact it is precisely because o f the fo remothers in women s music that performers Uke the In-d ^ Giris have been successful

T h e r e is this bdief that women s music is confined to folk music which it never was said Alix T h e negative reaction coming from many young lesbians is due latgely to the backshylash against feminism O u r communities very much reflect what is going on in the worid generally and feminism has been distnissed evert by w o m e n tn our own communities I would rtfeommend t h e book Eltiwi But t By Eyes 71raquoi Cttltitre OfWotttentMitsirFe^itfalt^ by

Bonnie Morris (Alyson Pre i s 1999^ ^ t an excellent bvervie^i arid more details W o m e n s rniisicis abour nusngcbn^Cibusiess and nriosc pgteoplc don t even know whar that is any more Furthermore due to budget cuts in education weve also lost a generation that was schooled

to appreciate music Nevertheless Alix is excited by the fact that

many of her performances these days are at universities so that she does have an impact on young women

After a lifetime in New York Alix is now living in Califomia She still performs around the country and is involved with a club that features concerts by women and holds and furthers our culture The director Barbara Price used to c o - p r o d u c e the Michigan Womyns Music Fcsrival Alix is writing a colshyumn for Chicago Outiines and working on a book o f h e r memoirs

Visi t Alix D o b k i n s w e b p a g e a t www ladys l ipper o rg vendors ladys l ipper alixdobkinxtmL

T o order Alix Dobkin s muaic and music by other women and lesbian muakians contact Ladyslipper Music P O Box 3124 D u r h a m N C 27715 teL 1-800-634-6044 o r 919-383-8773

EstberRtttbMttmisaProfessttri^Ptythokigitattbe UmtfersityoJ Vermont andEtIitoroJtbe]QMttk3X of Lesbian Studies She can be reaebed at John Dewey HaU University t^Vermont BnrHngton VT emait estber rotbbbtmtvmedtt

KEN SALTZMAN A PAINTER

ESTIMATES 6 5 4 - 6 1 7 4

Kl^l lC U A ^ ^ I

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T H E E M P T Y C L O S B T

Conning up continued f rom p BI The local poets and prose writers who will

perform indude Beth Bailey Jack Bradigan Spula John Coakley Sharon Jeter and other members of thc Wild Women theater troupe SusanJordanTony Leuzzi and Michde Spring-Moore Thc reading will be sign language intershypreted and the first fioor of tbe Gay AUiance building has a wheelchair Uft and an accessible restroom The event is free although donashytions for the Gay Alliances pride celebradon activities will be collected

For more information call thc GAGV at 244-8640

Out on video 4 Very Noturo Thing B y L e w O j e d a A Ver^ Natttnd Tbittg Director Christopher Laridn Starring Robert Joel Curt Gareth Bo White

As a r^ular featuce in thc E i t t ^ 0lt Wflaquo I will be reviewing films available for rental or purshychase on video hig^ilighting the gay lesbian and bisexual experietKe I Kgtpe to concentrate on films that are not as generally wdl known as coirunerdal rdeases

More than 25 years have passed since the theatrical rdease of ^ Very Naittral Thiitg the first nationally distributed inde|gtendent film by an openly gay director When first rdeased this fiim caused such controversy both with straight critics and with some gay audiences that its prospects for box office success were all but crushed But watching the film with some hindsight should prove quite revealing not only because this seemingly simple story is very well written and acted but aiso lgtccause it presents provocative ideas about relationships and sexual identity that Hollywood still can^t touch

The film stars Robert J o d as David a former monk turned teacher who meets Mark an insurance salesman (played by Curt Gareti^) in a bar fails in Aove-4Ad eventually ^moves ki-with him As Vito Russo author af the great

baolc on Hatiyv^oampd fiims The t e dnoMi ltSios0f cJcveriy points out David and Niark go through their eariy married period in a giddy parody of Ljove Stoty rolling through the leaves watchitig each other shave and making love to a swelling melodramatic soundtrack Just as with numershyous hetero movies probletns arise Mark doesnt want to be tied down and David shows signs of excessive neediness

They try to mend their relationship by exshyperimentation but visits to Fire Island bath houses and orgies dont hdp and the union is permanendy damaged David is then forced to reevaluate what he really wants as he begins falling in love with a divorced photographer named Jason (Bo White)

Much of the movie may have todays audishyences wondering what the big deal was about Its basicaUy a very taiky movie one in which the nature of love relationships and sexual politics are discussed with characters comfortshyably seated In fact someone could invent quite a drinking game by imbibing every time David says Lets talk This is a movie about ideas and in part because it is viewed as the first important American gay lib film from a gay filmmaker perhaps it was pressured to achieve too much Straight audiences had to bc convinced thatgajrs have thc very same probshylems with rdadonships as heterosexual couples

and gay audiences needed to be placated with a strong sense of pride for who they were

The latter point could be a reason why intershyviews with real gays and lesbians during a pride march were tnduded in the iiKtvie Men and women wearing long hair afros and beU botshytoms talking about how important it is to come out may be interesting to watch but in hindshysight I think the interviews actuaUy date die film I kept feding thdr statements were so detached from Larkins screenplay that their indusion panders to viewers sensibiiities and doesnt give a real glimpse into the lives of those brave interviewees who dedded to risk everything and come out Larkin had the right idea by pladitg actors Robert Joel and Bo White within the march but he should have kept die event as a backdrop Uke ditector Haskdl Wexler did in the film MetUtttti CTcewhen he positioned Robert Forster and Vema Bloom in the foreshyground of the 1968 Chicago Rio^

Thc fictional Uves of the characters (espeshycially Davids) arc much morc interesting beshycause they are dynamic David Marie and Jashyson dont live in a world of gay Ub dogqia Instead their Uves arc fiUed with joy uncershytainty and reflection and when compared to most gay characters in mainstream movies are much more human in thdr complexity Igtavids apoUtical nature and Jasons acceptance of a semi-distant rdationship are provocative ideas in movies even today because their decisions and actions do not follow a fonnula by deshymanding compliance just to satisfy the script

This independent thinking is what makes A Very Naitind Thing so important today With mainstream gay movies like Itt cV Out rdeased by a self-congratulating HoUywood its very important to remember that many gay and lesbian independent filmmakers present ideas and attitudes HoUywood stiU shys away from

Thats why we have filmmakers Uke Bruce La Bruce G r ^ Araki and Greta SchiUer And thats why we have Christopher Larkin to thank

T H c k cont f inued f r o m p I

John Paui Pitoc looks and sounds like the guy archetype he is supposed to be on the outside and his no-friUs dcUvery in thc first part ofthe film fits perfecdy with his character However as his character becomes more than just a pretty face (both in die eyes of Gabrid and the audience) Pitoc presents thc mind behind the body and dcUvcrs an impressive feature film debut A definite scenc-stealer in IricJk is Tori SpdUng the loud comic aspiring actress Katherine SpeUings performance is steUar and probably her best to date She takes aU the humorous aspects of thc stereotypical fag hag and blends them with a fast-talking yet goofy actress who has an answer for everyshything

Director Jim Fall a busy New York stage director makes an impressive feature film deshybut with this vibrant urban fairy-tale that afshyfirms the possibiHty oflove in the most unUkdy of circumstances but that does not resort to the usual sap and saccharine ofmany other love stories or date flicks A smatt script clever and insightful acting and a frustratingly funny story Une make TnfJk the summer must-sec ofgay dnema

TtickwiUbc shown atan IncageOut fundraiser pre-release screening (a month before its offishycial opening) on Thursday July 29 at the Ii tde Theatre One For more details caU 271-2640

EntertaHtmentNlghtlife Opinion Racism and the bar scene W h y cant Blacks and whites socialb^e tlt^etiier7

-r~i^-- x-

BySusanJordan lea Major has worked as a bouncer in local bars and dubs fbr 8ltM3e years As an African American hc has observed a radsm endemic not only to Rochester and not only to bars but to institutions througfiout the LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual ttansgender) commushynity and throughout thc country Major feds that it is time to begin a community diak^ue on radsm and other forms of bias so that a new generation ofgays does not continue to rcpUcate among oursdves the prejudiced discrimirutory attitudes and behavior wc so ofien experience from heterosexuals

Major said that he remembers tfae Rochshyestcr bar scene in tbe 70s bullThere waa a lot of radsm diere but you just desdt with it There was no place dse to go (but thc local gay bars) After 13 years In Arizona he returned to the Rochester area in 1992 I come back 13 years later and tts^till hapshypening Why dont bar owners care about certain segments ofthe community

Major said that he worked as a bouncer at a local bar and on one night ofthe week as he puts it AU thc family came out Blacks and whites The whites would stay on one side ofthe bar and the Blacks would go back where thc music was Thc owners denied that there was a problem Major said that bartenders would distinguish not only beshytween Blacks and whites but between what he termed preppie Black Idds and the Itids who look Uke hip-hoppers

Major commented I remember when The Friars and Jims were open in thc 70s Black itids had a hard time getting into both clubs they hadnj^hiye three or four forms of ID to get in while white kids didnt The iaw rcquifcs fust one form of identity Bartenders wouldnt wait on Black customshyers until theyd waited on white customers One time we went to Jims and they wouldnt let us in I went and got 15 to 20 Black kids and we made sure wc all had IDs and they had no choice but to let us in

Major continued Today its different The racism stiU exists but now its more underhand They stiU make you wait for cocktails and serve you lesa than the next (white) person Then thcy complain about tips but why should you tip ifthe bartender isnt being fair Im trying to get the chilshydren in this town to open their eyes and understand were aU going through the same things Black or white White kids shouldnt fear Black kids and Black kids shouldnt feei uncomfortable around whites Thc only thing I can think is that we need to open up and talk to one another Thats thc only way weU get to know each other and leam that yes wc have different cultures but were all the same Wc need to stop bdng so judgeshymental We need to bc morc friendly to try to be more social with one another

When he worked in bars Major said 1 was always the icebreaker and I would ask bodt Black and white Idds why dont you talk to each other and get to know each other Youll find you bave a lot in conunon You work the same jobs shop at the same stores eat at tite same restaurantsHe added I dont underscand it and I want to know why we have so mudt separation in 1999 Lets do something about this

Msforobserved tfaat almost the only event in die wtttte gay oommuoity that draws laige oxtahert o f gays o f cokM is tfae G A G V picnic but even tfaere people tend to stay

Ira Maior

with their friends and there is comparativdy Utde auxif^ between white people and peofMie of color

The dubnight run on Saturdays by Charies Stevens at Gabbys off Chestnut St downshytown is where young Black gays lesbtans and bis arcgoingnow according to Major White kids go there too Major said and Black and white kids get together and party He hopes that the prejudices of an oider generashytion WtU not be passed on^ artd feds that many people in their 20s both Black and white have a different attitude nowadays

Major feds that music is key to bringing people together and says that most Rochesshyter dubs dont play thc music that young Black and Latinoa people are interested in The Black and Hispanic doUar is imporshytant he said They say were only a smaU segment but wed be a larger s^men t if we were offered something Tlie music in bars is more aitemative theyre not playmg Top 40 Black music Its jast Deborah Cox and Whitney HoustonmdashtheyU play that to death but thats aU The Black kids are always asking why that is

Some clubs offer special music on weekshynights to bring in more customers Major asked Ifyou offer countrjwestem nights why not offer urban (soul RampB hiphop world etc) nights or Spanish nights on those slow nights You make suggestions like that and thcy look at you Ukc youre crazy I dont understand what is wrortg wich thc Black or Hispanic or female doUar

Things arc different in New York City Major said That is what New York dubs are doing mdash tnixing white black and Spanish music mdash and theyre fabulous Upstate New Yotk should be iititovative enough to have the NY sound thc Califomia sound DJs should be innovative enough to bring the kids together In the 70s Donna Sununer and Gloria Gaynor and those performers werent mainstream it was just in gay dubs where youd hear them The DJs brought them out DJs should search for the leaUy hot new music today For one thing they dont mix Uke thcy used to They should ce-leam how to mix oot just play rite CD and whats on the radio The music b r i i ^ everybody together

In h o p ^ of starring an ongoing commushyttity dialogue on these issues Major urges any member of tite LGBT community (Black White Asiart Latinoa Native American Padfic Islander etc) cosendcommencs^ideas and suggesttoos on tfae subfect of ovccoMn-ing tadsm within otur ctmunnnity to Lettert to tfae BdiMMr TArJSa^ lt3htt^ 179 Adaotic Avei^ Rocfaester R Y 14607^

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An artist hopefully at some point in his life is driven by forces call them a passion for beauty and an urgency to express his feelings that can bc compelling When die driving force mens beauty becomes intense theres a chance judgement may falter T h c heart is always fragshyile

Speeding somewhere I cut duough my n e i ^ -borhood park an area favored by casual jogshygers and serious runners Ahead I saw a perfect body short and lean with broad shoulders topped by a mane of bouncing jet black hair I timed as I passed an saw an Asian face -mdash high cheekbones narrow eyes mdash totally concenshytrated Struck by the mans beauty I s topped my car my thoughts racing ahead scrambling for a strategy

I shouted out I want to draw you can you taik to me Through gasps for air he shouted O n c e more around the lake w a i t I waited 30 minutes He should have been back in five I stood mute humiliated my face crimson beshyyond thc heat of the day Hed had my number fog on the make Being an artist snt easy

I accepted the shame because in a way the runner hiraquod been right Motives overiap While I want to make something lovely mdash that is or used to bc what art is aboutlaquo and expression connected to the thing a mans body that I admire mdash there is no way for a stranger a hunk whos probably been hit on more than once to understand So on a sunny summers day instead of feeling happy because thc wpather is fine I sank into gloom

I shouldnt beat up on myself Artists inshyspired by nature walk in thc wood Artists who paint bouquets grow flowers It s only fair only logical that an artist who admires male physical pgtcrfection should seek out beaushytiful men

I fyou want to draw bodies you can take a class and thc models there run the fuil range mosdy in thc wrong direction T h c theory being that ali sizes shapes and ages are wor thshywhile challenge Past thc schooling phase one wants to apply the acquired skills to objects of choice Ove r the years some models have sought me ou t after having seen my work H ip college kids like Mikey an engineering student who was a rock climber and dyed his hair green were the cool types diat could matter-of-facdy handle sittiog around naked (People you know like to expand dieir inventory of O r one may be ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ y

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O n a sunny summer aftemoon as I sat in my of high voltage soap opera car waiting for the signal to t um green I saw a O u r encounters were once or twice a year jogger lope along Winton Road Possessed by and then for a few weeks at a stretch Some-an intuitive impulse I fximbled in my glove times hed wander up at outdoor festival often compartment for my business card Once the with a girlfriend just to say hello light tumed green I changed lanes rolled down I learned he had dropped out of school the passenger window and slowed down I gone on a few years later to the local commu-tapped the car h o m thrust my hand out the nity coUege where hed majored in commercial window and nearly choked managing a casual art He brought me his portfolio a few draw-tone Vd like to use you as a model Fm an ings hed copied from magazines mdash those artist heres my nvimbcr call me Finely were awkward his drawings from life were muscled beautifully tanned graceful he was better His aptitude seemed to bc for design perfect Then a long stretch with no encounters

In the moment it is impossible to untangle O n e day 1 saw him again and we talked about feelings The attraction to physicai beauty is a doing some more drawings When he came horrendous mix of lust and aesthetics For over I gasped at his pierced nipple His legs years I have chosen to make drawings and were smooth shaved His pubic hair neady paintings of men The craft and discipiine of trimmed WTiat are you doing Dancing in making art are rigorous and satisfying Making a club he said with a sly smile Yikes this an has legitimized my homosexuality given it man-child that 1 fett protective about had be-focus and expression Whiie Id never discuss my reasons for making an with a model most of them intuitively seem to understand andit also seems to enjoy their role

l^ ter that afternoon to my astonishment thc youiig nixi phoned t i c caxtic over yenc talked and he agreed to work for me

As it happened his father was an artist and hed g rown up in an environnient that enabled him to appreciate nsy work His parents were

come a go go dancer In a gay bar Hed always said hc liked to dance

The 17-year-old was 25 now not a kid anyshymore He d gone through school moved out on his own -had- a scries of teauonsVups

grow^n up- My rcacrion was a mix o f curiosity and fear I grilled him like a parent

Thc stories he told me werent entirely pleasshymg He liked the money He loved to dance

now estranged he lived with his mother Thcy The spodight appealed to him Gay bars were had recendy tnoved from a small town to a widening theit clientele he coxild actually meet neighborhood not far from my house women while dancing in bars Yet the men

Hc wlaquot 17 1 tt^d him he needed to discuss who stuffed doUars into his g-string were crass my p t epo$ t i with his parents He had the They offered him money for sex A lot of fooliriichlaquommigcltMifidelaquoceof theyoungand money T h e kid Id known since he was a shy

assiund me h e couldiDske fus own decisions Noocdydbstflj^oketiitfa his father We began ^ o d m g W i g f i i m thsc sutBiaer

fwsmaiampr^^pet^Keaat^^axi cause a range of refiectiooff Vou c a n ^ d bsd about not work-

high school drop-out told me hed been disapshypointed by the way people were capable of behaving Yeah weli thats thc way it is but who ever wants to see an innocent collide with the reality My only choice was to accept the

experiences) W h o am I to speculate ifthe guys like Mikey or John my nautilus tn^net were bucidingexhifaitioakc Apound eny x^te sofne like J o h o ^ ^ i ^ k t e r went o n t o mitScaA sdkool became ftiends kept in t o u d i Uxtg after we worked e ^ e t h e r

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and traquo J i S e ^ a respoose as assent A i n o d d witb a ^ c c d body wfao otAf wants t o m^ce a few bdcfaa xauibe perfecdy adequate A rnodel ndko epin|MiaA|iac3 witfa tfae creative pfoccaa o n tfae olaquol||p|MMKl often cteatca a synlaquogist ic jf^mH^tijif^j^ laquobe al^aiid ^eqeakAy jftie moik-iim^imm^-h^a^ ^ ^ result of a bullColiafaopnivc cfloit bull

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ing out more or rue the effects ofagc One may changes in his life Tlie drawings as always

daydream of seduction the cost be damned were fine The next spring I wanted to draw I left one

phone message then another I wasnt troubled He d always drifted in and out of my life I knew I cotdd depend on him

Then a few weeks later after I returned from a vacation I dropped off some film and a de rk in the store came over Vou were a friend of A I know he told me about you Did you hearv4iathaj^gtcned bullNo He dropped dead of an aneurysm before work in his apartshyment

H e was 27

capture on gtaper an essence of perfection frozen in time through the making o fa draw-log T o i ^ calls are what Hfe is about

H i e kid had a body that responded to workshying-out and for reasons I couldnt know he obsessed about thac He went to the gym religiously The pride he took in the achieve-

always r o u t e d

For a gay man w h o had largely considered himself eicduded from the prerogatives of the dominant cultute and free poundroro its constraints a man wfao viewed faimsdf as an oudaw to find faitaadf ta a sitnation in wfaicfa fae opts to be motai teapectfbl faonorable was botfa new aod gratifyifig I wanted tfae experience o f knowing htm of feeling that he liked me I made nice conversation and because fae under-4lood tfaat I was gay and because I didnt fait on

M O C H A Chat

By Stanley Byrd

ipglaquop i f i laquo l S S S g S i laquo ^ laquo r S e r 1raquoilaquolaquo laquoxplaquod him laquoi he alaquocplaquod me o v laquo raquomMMdlaquoMiktllaquoiaaitlMitMBIathesgtdfig montht we belaquome ftiends He had a naiciMraquo-

poundrrsrX^^^ fzszstz3rct trade^--~raquoraquoM^JIJtrade

I nc raAsb ig u n d e r s t a n d i n g Some may take objection to the description of diis country diis dty and diis coihmuxuty as otie tfaat still fosters radsm sexism and fao-

jjliwriiwiitBl p^ Xgtlaquottt m dtelaquo^ ^ i ^ ^eidjRe of gid fiicndi and foba were die stuff

is bowever d u t whedier or not you fed betieve s u p p o n o r act o h tfaese mecfaanisina o f fiear and

separation tliey are our soda l and psychologishycal inheritance

Tfaere a te many people and groups (dio are doin^great diings for t h e gay and larger com-mutt^r Tfaeir good deeds and actions d o no t go ttOAOdced T h e gay conMsfmnity has such diversity and witfain eacfa g roup the diversity

is immense This inheritance for bet ter or worse is

imbedded in the fabric o f society i ndud ing school churches the media and other institushytions As ment ioned in June s M O C H A Chat one of the most signlBcance and damaging aspects of these i sms and phobias is the internalization of them T h e i sms and p h o shybias shape a n d o r distort our reality Wc take on and internalize some of the generalizashytions and misinformation into our personal make-up and belief systems T h e racism sexshyism stnd faomopfaobia are n o w working on us in die absence o f an oppressor Many r ^ogn i zed this conditioned med ian i sm as internalized oppression This oppress ion sits deejay o n us shapgtes our conscious and subconscious behaviors and belief systems

Internalized oppression keeps us separate from each other and other groups in the folshylowing ways it lowers our self-esteem and sense of seif worth it separates us from people in other groups Some o f t h e phrases used that constitute this kind of thinking are Am I good enough Are you worthy of me They cant understand my s t r u c k I cant trust diem

For many of us the most devastating effect of internalized oppression is that it separates us from those within our own group This can be evidenced by our distrust and lack of supshyport for each other Some of the statements that are made are They are not trufy Black Latino gay 2A2Blacks Latinos gays act this way They are traitors to our groupThey don t understand the real experience of being Black Latino gay 1 feel like an outsider even though I want to be accepted and belong Hes too dark shes too Ught Hc got good hair l^ook how they talk^ i- r

17ic above is ltnJy m Vifry sntAjI smmpUng^ n f the verba messages we give c^ch other The internalized messages from our oppressors go on and on and set up a cycle of internalized oppression that creates deep-rooted self-depshyrecating programming

Some of this conditioning or programming may have been useful for self-protection in our eariy developmental stages But as adults some of it keeps us stuck in patterns that have outlived their usefulness It contributes to our decision-making when we are trying to conshynect and negotiate with o ther human beings especially around the issues of safer sex pracshytices and other sodal interactions taking o n leadership roles support ing and advocating for individual rights

Oppression in any of its forms does harm to both the oppressor and the victim Many of the roles are pre-scribcd before we even are aware they exist Based o n this sodalizatio^i institutionalization rationalization and sepashyration oppression limits freedom and joy for all As a proponent advocate and activist for the elimirution of oppression o f all people it sometimes fceU limiting to identify discuss and activdy advocate for just one or two groups N o one is free until all of us are free mdash perpettatoc and victim

Once we identify diese limiting roles many traquof us try to open ourselves u p to new experishyences and behaviors This is hard deep soul-searching hean wrenching gut-busting work It is also a process that happens over time

W e are all in process As we arc (re) discovshyering our true selves lets be easy on oursdves We have already felt the stings barbs and pain of oppression We will siip n o w and then When trying to (re)-negotiate old and new relationships with family members business assodates and lovers we may fall back into tfae okl sdf-defeating roles and patterns T h e ok behaviors and p a t t e n u are still fbr awfaile more real and more comfbrtable t o us tfaan tfae new befaaviors W e w v e n back to what wc

ltjp-^^-ltfc^w-r-gtraquogt4rtw- MlaquogiewWWiraquoraquotrvMnraquougt^ bull bull raquo i t - ^ bdquo ^

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B6 T H E E M P T Y C L O S E T J u 1 9 9

know no matter how dangerous painful or soul-robbing

Again we need to be gende with ourselves Life doesn t have ro be the way its always been As humans we have great potential and capadty to be flexible resilient joyful loving sensual intelligent and spiritual people For today start by going within when you fmd yourself in a situation where you don t feel a higher ground was teached between you and another What is keeping you from b d n g your brother s keeper

M O C H A s Brothers Keeper Support group for gay m e n of color meets every fourth Wednesday o f the month from 6 pm to 730 p m CaU 422-6470 for detaHs ^r t o RSVP for the next tneeting

O n Y o u r Side By Karen Robby

^^e aint so bad

IVe just returned from a weekend conference in thc big city mdash New York City that is The city that thinks Rochester is one of those rural upstate N e w York places

Truthfully after a few days in Manhattan Rochester did indeed seem rural Being the energetic person that I am the over-stimulashytion of the city life was a bit much As an adolescent I wanted to move to NYC and I can only thank God I didnt I would have bumed myself to a crisp early in my twenties Yes the excitement is there thc theater the culture and the nighdife but a place 111 keep on my cities to visit list wouldnt want to live there

I b ^ a n to compare some o f t h e attributes that NYC had in the lesbian and gay commushynity scene to Rochesters community This was hard being there such a short rime but 1 tried my best Ya know being the rural comshymunity we ate ha wc arent doing such a bad job We really arent

Saturday night was tbe argcr section of free time I go t to experience in the ciry I was told by a fellow conference person about a local free paper that provided information about the gay and lesbian nightspots Before I left the hotel room 1 decided to look in the phone books for some of the names of clubs Id already heard of N o luck N o listings for them mdash yellow or white p s ^ s Lots of other altershynativesexual type of clubs bu t all advertised with a heterosexual theme

1 was quite surprised This gay and lesbian Mecca without one club listed openly in the phone book and definitely no section for Gay or Lesbian Bars or Clubs Then I remembered it doesn t matter how large the city the issues are still the samemdashpubl ic ly there is srill a need to bc discreet harassment is always possible

So off I went to the Village in search of that publication thatwould be my guide to the bars or d u b s I was seeking

I wandered around die V l l l a ^ fbr a cou|4e hours in search of tfais paper widi absolutidy no luck Every newspaper dispenser and store around had everything but that pubHcation When I actually asked fbr it the person selBr^ papers would avoid eye c o n u c t with me and just shake his head n o Even as I got out of tfac primarily straight area (ie young over-made up women with thd r young studs funny how tfaat was right next door to the queen and dyke streets) this paper was nowhere in sight

I finally found a spot right by Stonewall Park and dedded to ask about any places Id be interested in The man there was kind enough to point me in the right direction Unfortu-rutely after so many hours seardung I no longer had thc energy to attend the one place I had been tumed on to So I just peeked in and I was off on my search for the right Underground entrance to get back to my hotel With that I was successful

My big realization was made N o matter where you go the gay and lesbian community is stiU very dosed I thought Id be able to locate some happening places in no time and be enjoying an evening with NYC dykes but I guess not I guess the next time I visit NYC 111 just have to have more information before I arrive Jus t think it doesnt take all that m u d i to find the Em^Oy Gfewtf youre new to this d ty I believe even some s t r a i t members in the community could point you in the right direcshytion of the paper or even a place you were bull looking for We should be proud of ourselves^ we do a pretty good job at keeping the commushynity informed and easily accessible to newshy

comers Well at lcast I remained safe in the big city

that can be crazy sometimes My hotel was located across ftom Madison Square Garden and the uproar after the JCnicks won was inshycredible The streets filled with thousands o f very happy fans and some that were quite unruly T h e next morning ^hen I tried to exit from the side entrance o f t h e hofei I discovshyered that everything was roped off with police caurion tape There was an attempted murder right in front of the doors N o one knew if the man that was brutally injured was killed or not It remained a mystery Yes indeed Lets all celebrate for the Knicks

I m happy to be back in our litde rural community At least 1 know my choices on any given evening As a matter of fact we have a lot to be proud o f We do quite well at keeping our community togedier and growing I look forshyward to sharing our pride at this years parade and picnic Don t miss thc kick-off party at Craft Co N o 6 See you soon

Karen Robby Prevention Educator AIDS Rochesten 442-2220 x3042

Becoming a Main

Detmis J Faley

LooMi^ a t honioplteigtia II Anger unvented faecogieff bull pain uosfioken

becomes n g c rdeased becotnes violence cha-cha-cha I ended last mondi s ar t ide with diis quote from Marion Riggs fiteraquo Ttmffter UtOied Now this month I w o u l d like to explain this qiuHe as well as anotfaer idea whicfa m ^ t fadp us understand the concept of facMnopiiobia

Violence and hatred generally d o not just happen There are usudly reasons for it alshydiough sometimes the reasons are hard to see and even harder to understand In this a r a d e I would like to provide some kJcas which ndgbt shed some light o n hate motivated crimes and in particular homophobia

Generally speakir^ people who have hatved in their hearts or who partidpate in biasxrimes are people who themselves feel devalued by society and are often no t very well connected within a community For example moampt rapshyists and child molesters arc characterized as loners and odd people they often feel lesser than others around them K K K members often come from thc same socio-economic class as the people they aggress against and 3ften share a similar fecHng with the people hey harm thar of being devalued and opshypressed by financial and sodal limitations The only difference is that they belong to the white majority but fed disconnected socially culshyturally and economically from them

I would like to assert that people who parshyticipate in homophobic acts also fed devalued anddisconnected from their community Most high school smdents w h o scream faggot to the kids who are perceived to be different o r inferior are just as socially awkward as the people they are making fun o f As I discussed last month homophobes are often people who find their own homosexual o r h o m o shyerotic feelings so frightening and foreign and are so petrified of being found out or seen as

different from odiers tfaattfaefaggresa toward

us A cortimon denominator between lApaople

w h o e n s t t e in bias o r faaDe^celM^ e a t a c a is that they e n g s ^ in cfaeseofteiiiH ii i M M I i l M o f attempting to regain a sense o f power and value However ir is a fitJse despenite and weak sense of pCTwer F o r t he rapist and pedoshyphile he commits an act o f violence as a means of demonstrating power atsd ltkgtmlnaace over women and cfaiklfen P o r t he K K K member he b u m s crosses and cfaurcfacs in an a t tempt CD tntimidace and co r c g ^ a sense of power F o r the homophobe he attempts- t o get rid o f hia sense of inadequacy as a m a n by discfaatging his anger against otfaets w h o fae percdves as weaker These arc all vcry desperate at tempts to g ^ a sense p f adeqtiacy arid they are all misdirected expressions o f anger as a result of feelingdevalued anddisconnected i rom a comshymunity

About a year ago I at tended a conference through the Psychotherapy Institute at the U of R Medical Center where a psychologist Dr Kenneth V Hardy from Syracuse University presented his ideas about community violence He suggested that people w h o feel devalued and disconnected from a s t rong sense of comshymunity expcricnceagrief reaction which might help to explain why people aggress against disenfranchised communities (ie women the GLBT community Afttcan-Americans etc) He suggested that there is a very specific grief reaction that he has observed and written about Dr Hardy bd ieves that people w h o fed devalshyued and disconnected from commuoity expeshyrience a sense o f loss which leads to feelings of anger which leads to an expericnre of rage that is expressed through revenge and ending in a sensc-Of resolution

Dr Hardy and Marion Riggs are essentially saying the same thing and I believe applicashytions can easily bc made to understand hoshymophobia through their ideas Hardy is stating that as a result o f a pcrcdved sense of loss people experience an intemal process of anger (^vh ich m a y be either in the individuals aware-

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neas o t not ) wfaicfa leads to a sense of rage that

o f ten ieauhs in its expression tfattgtugh violence

o r ^g)Eessibnandcomplcting tfac cydc tfifougji

a settnraquo o f resohitioa l ikewise Riggs expfatina faofno|ribQfata as-iM experience of u n ^ o k e n a i ^ e r wfaich results in intetnat fceiiogs o f pain diar n e outside o f an individuals consdous awareness which is given voice dirough die experience o f n^gt and culminating in vioshylence^

B o l h R ^ g s and Hardy present extraordinary ily catfical ideas Violence aggression and hashytred fawe been very misunderstood in mental healthy and often professionals have thrown up d m r hands in frustxatitm not kncvwing even wfaere to b ^ t n to address these p r o b -lema Tfae way tfaat we currendy addreas tfaese problems is io^ iocarcetate indtviduals Tfae problem with so ldy jailing people wfao comshymit hate crimes is chat beingin jail devalues a p e n o a even m o r e creates an even morcpciH found sense o f a loss o f commumty increases tfae pecaonaaense o f loaa multiplies fait expeshyrience o f anger fermenting tfae rage like a fine wine only to bc uncorked in even more violent ways when the person is released from prison I bd ieve thougfa tfaat Hardy and Riggs provide us witfa s o m e d u e s o f faow t o address fao- mophobia in bo th its intemal (see next m o m h ) and extemal forms

I bd ieve the mos t important thing that each and every one of us can d o to counter hoshymophobia is to accept a stance of zero tolershyance This is difficult because zero tolerance requires us to be out to be seen and to be heard T h e most important t h i r ^ that we c a n d o to address homophobia is to be out loud and proud Wc need to diminate homophobia from within oursdves our ampmilies our friendshyships ou r workplace our places of worship our neighborhoods our schools^ and our gov^ e m m e n t (I could go on but I think you get the picture) T h e only Way that w e can d o this is by be ingseen

T h e second thing diat we need to d o is to interrupt the cycle o f grief and lossj This is especially true for those of us w h o are vested with t^o^^er responsibility and authority in

bull bull bdquo bull bull bull

bull bull bull - bull T H p E M P T Y C L O S E T B7 our soctai instituticms Here I am spedfically talking to t ealt l i e r a n^ l^ua leaders law enshyforcement agents heaidi care pfofesdonalaraquo hcwyets government offidals piiiiBc servants and p e o p k in tfae acts and media Al t faou^ tfais might be difficult wc need to interrupt the cyde of violence by hdp ing horabpfaobcs ap-propi ia tdy cfaannd t h d r anger arid rampgeraquo ce-stDie tfaeir senae o f community re-faumanize tfaetr experiefice of kgtss and counteract dieir sense of b d n g devalued

I am not suggesting diat we respond to faomophobia througfa counfier-attacks aad vioshylence (an eye for an eye) or tfatough Christian passivity ( tum die other ched^ bu t catfaer from a stance of strength zero tolerance and appropriate and firm action

Womanspirit By Dr P a u l a

deChelly Ftaminine power and music Music is one ofmy passions I enjoy listening to it dandf^ to it t a k i n g my foot to it and fidling asleep with it What I like die absolute most about music is playing i t

I grew u p in a musical family with the exception of my father who snored off-key through church hymns and would require a nudge to stand up for the Star Spangieti Banner My mother was a gifted but sdf-sacrificing musician For 40 years she volunteered her services as organist o fhe r church (never tniss-ing a Sunday) She also taught most of the children in o u r small town piano lessons for practically nothirig

I m not certain if it was my mother s devalushying o f hersdf as a musidan or my brother^s elevated position as t h c musician of the family that first began to awaken me to femishynist Consdousness

My growing awareness of the inequality beshytween men and women musicians was experishyenced outside of myfamiiy as welt When 1 was

taken to professional orchestra concerts I couldnt h d p but notice that the majority of die performers and all of die conductors were tnen This situation of course was ignored and never discussed sending me the strong unconsdous message diat this is just the way it is SQ don t tfaink you will ever be able t o reach your dreams or potential

As childrcn are apt to d o I adopted this blatant denial of tfae reality that women musishyd a n s are at a distinct disadvantage Indeed I propelled myself blindly through a music conshyservatory and out into thc world as a professhysional musidan

As a fteelance musician and private studio teacher in the Denver Colo area I fbund a community where all musicians but particushylariy women had to pay their dues in a way that fdt to me to bc disrespectful and unsupportive Having no models t o look to that would h d p provide honest reflcctioti I struggled fiercely against tfae feelings of dlsempowerment that once again permeated my Hfe

Perhaps the magnitude of the awe I experishyenced this week playing a concert with the Greater Rochester Womens Philharmonic was directiy rcdated to an empowering shift of perception around the oppression I had inter-nali^ficd Thc shift was similar to the One Tve had at the Women s Music Festival in Michishygan It s an awareness of safety and acceptance rhat allows mc to let my guard down and rdax at last

The G R W P plays one concert each year and donates its free-will offering to the Alternashytives For Batteted Women s Shdter i t is no coinddence that there exists a paralld in the oppression faced by women musicians and by battered women The hope that this concert offers all women is profound

A petite smiling conductor in a sparkling jacket steps onto the podium and a sea of women in long black dtesses b ^ ^ to move with the spirit of enthusiasm beauty power

and connectedness The audiences and the musidans responded as if soothed by a coni-

forting healing balm M a y b e t h c r e a s o n r n u s i c h a s gtccn sxich a

catalyst in my Ufe fias been thc incredibe power it has to heal All I know fbr certain is diat now I am moving in all o f my life with a greater sense of ease an expanded consciousshyness of oppression and a lot more joy

Pattia deCbeiiy PhD is an edtteatorattdpsjtcbc-therapist in ptiitatepractice who speeialii^s in wttmen s

tssnes

Edith H Bernstein CSW Ucens^ SocM Worker

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[gtyleuroe Psycl ie By Esther Rothblum

L a v laquo n lt l laquo r J a t i laquo s d l l l o v e s w o m e h

What s the first thing diat comes to mind when we talk about womens music Many lesbians will recall Alix Dobkin s album lavender Jane Loves Women I recendy spoke with Alix and asked how she first became a lesbian musidan

I was writing about my own life she recalled so music was part o f m y consciousshyness raising Alix had been a professional folk singer for many years I was at tfae right place at thc right time with the right background doing the rig^t thing she told me

Alix produced a number o f a lbums o f womens music Lattettder Jatte Loim Wotttett (1973) t h i n g With Ltsinans (1976) X C 4 U X (1980) Tlese Wtaeen (1986) YaJwt Amstr^ia (1990) and iMPe An d Pbiities (1992 a compilashytion album) Uptng With Lopender Jane (1998) was a re-release o n t o C D of the fitst two albums In addition^ AMx Dobkins Adtwttttns

In VTotttens Mttsic (Noi Jttst A Sampn^book) was published in 1978

I adced Alix wfaat otfaer m u raquo c was around for lesbians wfaen she first began performing T h e answer no t much Robin Tyler had p r o shyduced Maxine Feklman in 1972 a 45-rpm record with two songs There was the Chicago Women s Liberation Rock Band and the N e w Haven Womens Liberation Rock Band Double Album And in N e w York Lesbian Feminist Dbera t ion conducted a talent show and reshycorded i t mdash t h e record was called A Fem Loptt^ Women Latmuierjane Loties I^Mwivwas tfae first album of women s music tfaat was distributed internationally

T h o s e days were tremendously exdt ing Alix said First of all I was writing about myself as a ksbian I was writing the kinds o f songs in which you could no t change a proshynoun and have it still tnake sense In odier words you c6ukl ioot cjiange iny music into faeterosexual abc^a^iTfaey were cleariy and opeidy s o i ^ about w o m e n k m s ^ women I realized tfaat as long as I was writing songs like that I was writing unique material N o one faad ever written that before and even title w o m e n dependirig on lesbian audiences almost never write about lesbians mdash in fact they ra rdy ment ion women

Even today Alix feels that there is a great need for lesbians to be writing about d i d r lives She has sensed at times that women s music has received a bad rap when in fact it is precisely because o f the fo remothers in women s music that performers Uke the In-d ^ Giris have been successful

T h e r e is this bdief that women s music is confined to folk music which it never was said Alix T h e negative reaction coming from many young lesbians is due latgely to the backshylash against feminism O u r communities very much reflect what is going on in the worid generally and feminism has been distnissed evert by w o m e n tn our own communities I would rtfeommend t h e book Eltiwi But t By Eyes 71raquoi Cttltitre OfWotttentMitsirFe^itfalt^ by

Bonnie Morris (Alyson Pre i s 1999^ ^ t an excellent bvervie^i arid more details W o m e n s rniisicis abour nusngcbn^Cibusiess and nriosc pgteoplc don t even know whar that is any more Furthermore due to budget cuts in education weve also lost a generation that was schooled

to appreciate music Nevertheless Alix is excited by the fact that

many of her performances these days are at universities so that she does have an impact on young women

After a lifetime in New York Alix is now living in Califomia She still performs around the country and is involved with a club that features concerts by women and holds and furthers our culture The director Barbara Price used to c o - p r o d u c e the Michigan Womyns Music Fcsrival Alix is writing a colshyumn for Chicago Outiines and working on a book o f h e r memoirs

Visi t Alix D o b k i n s w e b p a g e a t www ladys l ipper o rg vendors ladys l ipper alixdobkinxtmL

T o order Alix Dobkin s muaic and music by other women and lesbian muakians contact Ladyslipper Music P O Box 3124 D u r h a m N C 27715 teL 1-800-634-6044 o r 919-383-8773

EstberRtttbMttmisaProfessttri^Ptythokigitattbe UmtfersityoJ Vermont andEtIitoroJtbe]QMttk3X of Lesbian Studies She can be reaebed at John Dewey HaU University t^Vermont BnrHngton VT emait estber rotbbbtmtvmedtt

KEN SALTZMAN A PAINTER

ESTIMATES 6 5 4 - 6 1 7 4

Kl^l lC U A ^ ^ I