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• vaSrSSic Townsend Harris High School at Queens College Fool 149-11 Melbourne Avenue. Flushing, NY 11367

Editors: Alan Fu, Natalka Palczynski, Jeannemarie Hendershot, Beth Citron, Hope Villella, Kate Rube

Writers: AlanFu, Andrew Goldberg, Christina Lesica, Joy M. Mendoza, Rachel Nobel, Natalka Palczynski, Lauren Paley

Artwork: Lucy Hong, Vivian Chang Jon Landesman

Photography: Erika Zwetkow

Advertisements: Timothy Gonzales, Michael Inwald, Lauren Paley

I

Advisor: lisa Cowen

Principal: Malcolm ~G. Largma~n

f-.

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Chancellor sends faculty to slain mer by Alan Fu operate either. Arresting the staff was our only scheduled move on April 13. (See related article

Have you ever wondered · what school resort. By the way, what the heck are on this page.) would be like without the faculty? Well, won- collater.als, anyway?!" • Assistant Principal of Mathematics Hairy Rat der no more. Police officers dragged Princi- Harris teachers and Principal Tallman are stated, "This is not theteachers' fault! Blame it pal Milkem Tallman, along with all the on Tallman! It was all his idea. Wait teachers and assistant principals, to jail '":?----, until the union hears about this. By .the yesterday for consistent failure to comply way, where's my wife? Why hasn't she with New York Board of Education home- . busted me out of this hole in the ground? work regulations. Until their release, · :~~ I can't afford the $0.25 bail-- not on my classes will be covered by recently and not- salary." so-recently retired Harris teachers. Chancellor Blue reassured Harrisites'

According to Chancellor Moody Blue, parents, who had attended his meeting the Townsend Harris staff has been arrested to determine what was to become of their because they failed to comply with line 56 children's immediate school careers, that of section 347 of article 985 of the New the students would henceforth receive no York City Board of Education Constitu- more than five hours of homework per tion, which provides that "no student in night. Sheer happiness and relief glowed any public New York City school shall have on every face. more than five hours of homework per Marge Sampson, mother of Harris night." Last April, the Board surveyed 500 freshman Bart Sampson, commented, randomly selected Harrisites by phone and "It's about time the chancellor did some-discovered that the average student had thing about this situation. My poor Bart 10.2 hours of homework per night, which has no life. He has turned into a non-did not include time spent on extracurricu- Fony Scantroni, Larry Cereal, and Justfore Kix cannot torture socializing loser who studies and does

. . . · students from their jail cell. . Jar activities and collaterals. homework 24 hours a day. What kmds

At an emergency school board meeting currently located at Riker's Island Penitentiary, of lunatic teachers work in this institution?" held yesterday afternoon, Chancellor Blue and their court hearing has been scheduled for The chancellor also informed the parents at commented, "This is cruel and heartless. We next Thursday; they are still imprisoned since his meeting of the retired staff members' tempo­warned Principal Tallman with 389 notices. no one has posted either the $0.25 bail for each rary return to Harris. Among those returning are We even sent personal letters to each teacher teacher or the $1 bail for the principal. Board English teachers Kit Kats and Tommy at Townsend Harris, warning them to lessen of Education officials are confident that the Sweetinlow and history teacher Mark Sofa. the students' wm:kload, and they did not co- faculty will be released in time for the school's Continued on p. 4

We're moving again - This time 17 feet! by Andrew Goldberg building flaws will remain perfectly intact," the songs between bands could not be heard out-

Hard-hatted Harrisites wHI join Bill M. Twice and other construction workers from Push Comesta Shove Inc. in a

as Townsend Harris picks itself up and moves 17 feet to its new spot in parking lot 3B. "Ev­eryone is expected to come out during the

spring recess effort to move the school building back 17 feet in the direction of the Queens College parking lot. As a re­sult of a grievance filed ·by lo­cal residents of the Crab B Condos against Townsend Harris, in which the school is charged with "disturbing the peace by unlawfully projecting · loud and tasteless tunes onto Melbourne Avenue at unac­ceptable amplitudes," a sound­fr.ee zone must be created be­tween the school and the local condominiums. But with no more money allocated by the Board of Education for the construction of a new building, combined with the new com­munity service initiative, the concrete plan will call on stu­dents and administrators alike to take things into their own hands. Literally.

The Big Push: Artist's rendition of Townsend Harris' projected move.

Pushing papers and crates of textbooks, dismantling doors and preserving uninsulated pipes, contractors have promised that "all

spring break to lend a hand in pushing the building," said Assistant Principal of Organi­zation Milkem Bossman.

"We tried to adjust the PA system so that

side the building," said Principal Milkem Tallman. "But, the volume is now so low that Mr. Bossman cari barely be heard during the · morning announcements. I

had no choice but to ap­prove the permanent relo­cation of the building," he explained.

According to B.S . Brightman, Professor of Educational Engineering and Office Physics at Queens College, "The echoing sounds emanating from Townsend Harris

· would be caught in' a vir­, tual vaccuum," or sound

free zone, if the school were moved just 17 feet.

"As a result of the con­stant din from planes pass­ing overhead, a boomerang effect is produced in the lower troposphere when sound is directed upward from an open area," said Professor Brightman.

"The vibrations from the school's speakers would no longer bounce off neighboring buildings, but would be trapped in the air, and muffled by the

Continued on p. 4

Esca·ped cockroaches roam halls, m~ultiply rapidly by Lauren Paley

Webster's Collegiate Dictionary calls them "nocturnal insects" or "do­mestic pests." The average timid freshman calls them "gross," and Matlock Anzel, the only chemistry teacher in the school who is also a li­censed lawyer, could call them a potential law suit. But biology teacher Yodel Garcia lovingly describes them as her pet "cucarachas." All Townsend Harris students can tell a story of the first time they laid eyes on the Science Department's infamous cockroaches. But for all the laughs those tales are /worth, no one's

laughing now with the custodiai staff's

confirmation last Thursday that approxi­mately 30 of these "creepy crawlers"

are freely roaming the halls of the school.

The escape of the cockroaches was first discovered by math teacher John Burnt-Sienna, who was with his of­ten talked about brother-in-law, Jack Smith, at the time. The two were tour­ing the new building in honor of Smith's first visit to New York.

· As they entered the cafeteria, they noticed a family of the slippery brown creatures mak­ing their way to Stella's Harrisite Concession Site.

"Soon after, I had a talk with Mr.

Currant about what I saw and he seemed surprised," said Mr. Burnt-Sienna. It wasn't until Mr. Burnt-Sienna's conver-

sation with Berry Currant, the head of the Science Department, that the

assistant principal was aware of the insects' disappearance. Af­ter close inspection of the

cockroaches' tank, Mr. Currant believes that there was sabo-

tage involved. School ad­ministrators have identified a large

tear in the screen top of the tank. Still, ·it is unclear as to why the cockroaches were released and who the culprits were. "The investigation continues," said Mr. Currant.

Meanwhile; Students Against Animal Cruelty (SAAC) is in an uproar

over proposals from the Board of Education sug­gesting that

pest control ser­vices be sent in to· exterminate

the cockroaches. The.animal rigbts club

has begun to circulate petitions during lunch bands requesting that the board

reconsider this action. A represen­tative for the Board of Edu­

cation said, "The petitions certainly will be taken into consideration, but the board will vote on the final decision." The Student Union

(SU) has set up what they call

Shakespeare's Brothers Masculinist Club

Fundays, 2:30 Room 723

This club is devoted. to sharing male views, guy talk and inflating our egos. We discuss girls, sports and other, uh, guy stuff. So if you're an average Joe, join.

All are welcome.

a."Pet Pest Patrol." This search team is made up of volunteers who spend hours after school looking for and recaptur­ing cockroaches. So far, the group has caught 67. Although the patrol cur­rently consists of only five mem­bers, more are expected to join upon Archon's announcement, to be broadcast over the loudspeaker sys­tem tomorrow, that work in the search

party will be counted as community servtce.

Stefan 'ullitover, a sophomore with an exten­

sive background in insect studies, said, "Taking into

consideration the daily diet oflunchroom crumbs, I predict that there will be more than enough food to allow them to survive. Even if they should make their way up to the sixth floor," he explained, "there are plenty of leftover lab lunches to feed on and the occasional half piece of chewed gum."

Principal Milkem Tallman re­mains in con­

.

stant phone contact_} with New York Ctty health offictals ad­~isirrg·fririi ~n the=sanitaryTisks of the

cockroaches. He says his office has been overwhelmed with calls from concerned

"Most parents are worried, not so much about the health hazard, but rather that the. cockroaches may

disturb the learning en-vironment of their chil­

dren," said Dr. Tallman. "Imagine the awkward situation I'll be faced with at the next Parent/Teachers

meeting, when I try to explain that the cockroaches were here to begin with and furthermore belong in our brand­new building!" However, there is a positive s.ide to all the excitement. In upcoming months, Dr. Tallman _ hopes to incorporate the in­cident into the school's cur­riculum. Bi­ology teachers will ex­plain the reproductive . cycle with cockroaches as their models and math teachers will have their stu­dents calculate -the insec.ts' rate of reproduction. In addition, all English classes will write short stories featuring cockroaches as main charac­ters.

Dr. Tallman offers students and staff one piece of advice: "Be careful where you walk."· : .• " ---· ;: ·

Tallman proposes policy to recruit attractive males by Joy M. Mendoza

Here's a question for Townsend Har­ris girls: Did anyone ever ask you how many boys are in your class or if any of them are cute? Did you perhaps answer, "What boys?" Well, the numbers might change once Principal Milkem Tallman convinces the Board of Education to enforce his new male acceptance quali­fication to Townsend Harris.

Good looks and an 85 average are all the male applicant would need to get into the school. As for the females, the 98 average would still stand. "Lower­ing the. standards for males is a sure-fire way to change the ratio of girl to boy from three to one to one to one," said

. Dr. Tallman. Dr. Tallman explained how his new

criteria would be implemented to a joint meeting of the PTA and alumni on March 23. Five girls from each grade will do critical analyses of the male ap­plicants' looks and will then vote on who will be accepted. Those 20 girls will be chosen by a raffle. On the first day of school, every female student will get a raffle ticket. Winners will then be an-

. nounced on Founders' Day. Once the applications arrive, the 20

girls will take a week off from school. In that time they will surf through all the applications, each containing a re­cent picture, and will decide who are worthy to attend Townsend Harris.

"I made this proposal not only to in­crease the number of boys, but also to create a better 'social atmosphere," said Dr. Tallman. "All around the school, I see faces of discontented girls, claim­ing there are too few boys. I want my students to be happy. Remember, a happy mind is a healthy mind," he added.

But many faculty members oppose the new system. Guidance counselor Sue Roller said, "This isn't a good idea because the male students admitted un­der the new criteria will fall behind in their work. They simply can't handle the tough curriculum."

There have been many rave re­sponses from the students concerning this issue. In a Classic survey giv~ out to the entire student body in March, 90% of the female students in the freshman class, 88% of the sophomore class, 85% of the junior class, and 83% of the se­nior class voted in favor of the system. Male students, on the other hand, are mostly against the new requirements. According to the survey, only 5% in each grade voted in favor of it.

Dr. Tallman suddenly made this pro­posal following a dream he had one night. He said, "I dreamt I was giving a speech to the class of 2004. I saw the seats of Colden Auditorium filled with girls. Not a single boy was in sight. It ·was a nightmare."

The Classic

April1998 3 Latin course and n~w yoga elective merge by Christina Lesica

Libertus, -a, -um may join the roster of electives offered for falU998 pend- · ing Board of Education approval. This new class will feat~:~re the study and practice of a newly developed and criti­cally acclaimed cross between yoga meditation and Latin raised to a musi­cal and gastronomic level.

Libertus, -a, -um, a Latin word which translates as "freedman or freedwoman," is a series of yoga stretching and breath­ing exercises "performed to the sweet beats of alternative, rap, and rock muc sic while declining Latin verbs as the lyrics, and completed with delicious and luxuriously rich desserts," as creator Publius Yogas Togas, a Harris graduate of 1941 and avid Latin lover, wrote in his best-selling autobiography, We Don't Demand Excellent L.emons, We Expect Excellent Lemonade: a True Story of a Harris Survivor, Complete with Study­ing Tips. The three parts of the course's

name are derived from the Latin mas­culine, feminine, and· neuter forms, ex­plains the author in his book.

The Board of Education will meet Tuesday to debate whether or not to al­low this addition· to the Harris curricu­lum. Last night, Board spokesman Red T. Bureaucrazz said, ''We are always looking for different, inventive ways to

·increase and improve the quality Qf teaching in our schools." He also noted that if approved, the. new class could spread to other schools, if they are will­ing to learn that "oddly interesting yoga thing." .

The idea of the Libertus, -a, -um class was initially suggested as rumors of ex­tra money arose among the Harris fac­ulty, at which point they scrambled to come up with suitable ideas for extra elec­tives. Other suggestions had included "Literature of the Sea Monkeys," "Drawing

L.engthily Kudos to &ur P•n~ team for coming in &stat. the National Sm. pia Holmies oompetirirm. The tealll cmG:its their Will to tl!leit 'J."aflJ)o SL Blue Paperm:ates ami the fact tkat tkey have no lives. "AB those nights I spent scrubbing the is off my hands witk acid and turpentine have now paid a«:• sai<i Ima Loser wi& a tear in his ey~. 'llle team won a lifetime st~;ppty of pocket-J>rotect()TS.

The Art Club atteide'd a fmger painti1tg exbimttoB'atPS 123 Nursery Academy. They ex.pl.or«l the hiadem meanings m ·the too<11ers' imagina· tive work. Jncidentaly. ai'Art Clu~ members were doMing lwt'"pilllk jtunp­ers, wiiclil haa me sipiticace or re~Alvance to their eKcursi:o .. n.

The newly established Daaen's CreekCltl& hel'd: uulnsuccusful pro· teSt •amst tk@ Amta senate for k:oldilllg tile :ktd:tlctiott eeJemony on a 'fit~ night, the same mightrtb:atDawson'&Cr-airs on WB 11. Mamy club amber'S attended tile ceE .. OQY wearing t--s!Wts which read, "Do Not Disturil - Watching Dawson ~s Creek." The chlb hae recemtly lielbil a mndmiser m comj!unction: wi$. ttle Jeverly }tills 90210 Club. The t-stmts 0f tile 9021Q club rea4: "We Hate Villerie- Brl;ng Back the BTenaa Years'' i:'R loyalty to the show's former star Shatmen Doherty. Non-member~ may n6t pm:chase these slmts.

The staff held dleir tbinl Jlaculty Meeting this week~ Curiou'St,-. their topic was not Mu.catiott. but radter the u:pcoming trip to .Aflanti:c City which i;s to tab place on the mex.t Staff De'Mlopment Day. Dr, Ta;1'1mam passed out quarters and buckets at tke meetit1tg a1tt1 Malh APs Hairy Rat amd Jobn Bllrilt--Sienna demed a methoa of OOWltin,g cards to be utilized at tlte blaek-Jack table. Dr. Talbfiau. encouraged tile staff'by saying, ··nedi­cated faculty, the obl~pt0rify oonfcontational gambling spHe we sW subsequently embark omlm.efly. slltll only serve tQ catalyze. memsticize. and masticatize oUir cllllT:en,ly diminishing. &cal expendi:tures which a­remitting}y haw· catapilie<l tais educatiottaly fifte<J insl~ i'Rto the abyss of fe.duciary c.risis.n

In Fespense to the hatltro.om dilemma. (oUll'ently al. batltroom usage is suspende<i and is nt>fex.peete4to resume unttl next September), food and b6'veraps wll :no l001er be served in the cafeteria. ''If you dom't eat, you won't excrete;, Dr. Tal'malll sai.4 at the last CotiUitative Councl mating.

Congratutatt&us to two students from F~ny Scantr0ni's social scie:nce researeh class for winning top honors in the Briliat Young Social Sci­

. enlists of the Umted States cumpelitioa. Senior Da Mi's project exam­. ined the question of whether ueshmam size was itiversely proportioma:l to the n'trdiness of the school. Juaior Edie Ott's project was eatit:le4, ••The Meet of Bag~l mgredients Olll Stueent LntelUgence."

Perfectly Elliptical Shapes," "What If Barbie Were A Guy?" and "Physics Level 10." When

.asked about the- new

-~ua M.Xltma ..

Student reaction to the new class has been mostly enthusiastic. "It sounds cool,'' said Yogatte Stretches, a sopho­more. "Yeah, but why do we have to de­

cline verbs? Soon they'll want us to sing Latin while we eat and sleep and shower!" exclaimed Hattes · Latine; a junior.

Togas said that his creative thinking had been dried up by collaterals in high school. In college, without any collaterals, his creative

instinct was re-awakened as he went for his Masters and Ph.D degrees

at Harvard and Yale. He had an incredible urge to work on ex­

tra projects. That's when he came up . with "Libertus, -a, -urn."

Not only Harris, but the rest of the country has taken notice of this "radical, new art form,"

. according to The New York Times on its front page

story January 26. Most of the newspapers in New York City and even across the country have praised "this gem of an idea," according to The Washington Post.

Immediately after the release of We Don't De­

elective, AP of Hu- mand Excellent Lemons, it hit #15 on manities Lime Greenschpiei said, "Why the New York Times Best Sellers List. not? It's relaxing and educational at Since th~n. 10 w.eeks ago, it has climbed o'iie~{" -· - - - - ~ to #1 and ishittllng for the. most-cop-

Principal Milkem Tallman decided ies-ever-sold position. That title . has to approve the class after reading a New been held only by The Bible, and for York Times Book Review ofP. Yogas To- almost 2,000 years. "What an upset that gas' new book, in which the author de- would be, if it became #1. Only, then, scribes the "art form" in detail. "Ire- the Pope might not likeit," joked book member that kid. A great intellectual publisher Money Wordscam. However, mind. I knew he would amount to some- inside observers noted that even the thing,'' Principal Tallman said. He also Pope has a copy ofP. Yo gas Togas' book, added that he is so impressed with · as do President Coffeeton, Buddy the "Libertus, -a, -urn" that he is thinking Dog, Mayor Really Jewelry, and such of joining in a few sessions, should the movie stars as Rosie O'Dolly and class run. · Elizapearls Taylor.

The melodies you love to hate between classes can now be yours for

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4 Big b,ackpacks counter effects of ~ EI· Nino by Raehel Nobel

Attenti-oa, Harrisites: Time to proudly strap on those 80-pound Janspott-s and quit whi1Mg about the weight of extra schoolbooks. New studies cGBducted by the Weather Ser­vices CorporatiQa (WSC) on the effects of El Nino, the notorious stomn system that causes w~ather hav,oc every few winters, suggest that those same men­strous backpacks may be the only things preventing Harris students from being literally ('gone with the wind."

"It's incredible;• reported Blohn A. Wey, a spokesperson from the WSC, commenting oA the findings. In the eubmnation ef a winter-long study on h('}W the weather has aft:ee(ed the work performances of high school students across the country, W'SC scientists f0und that Harrisit-es - famous for their hefty homework loads - ar~ ten times less IJkely to be lifted away or knocked over by the harsh winds and rain El Nino has d~liver-ed on the Bast coast. In one incident, scientists olf>.. served a student wi,th no mere than an old lunch and a few broken pencils in his bookbag being literally cataplllted into the air, while just a few feet away a Harris student- lugging a binder, a Sequential II matq ~QQ\{, a FJ:em:~ 4 textbook, a biology review book, a copy of the Qu.eens CoHege style manual, four collateral assignments, a tuba, and a partridge in a pear tree -remained unharmed.

Alarmed at the reports of danger· ous high winds, stu,dents at JobJI Bowne High School, just a few blocks away from Hams, have taken to beg­gi11g their teachers for more homework. "This baby's gonna save my life, man:' proudly stated Stu Pidd, holding a copy of Louis-Henri-Jean Farigoule's Men of Good "Rifll, which at just under 5,000 pages is, according to the Guiness Book ofWorldRecords, the longest book ever published.

Harris' students and teachers are the

only ones not sutprised by the find­ings. ~'We don't demand that oversized boekbags and ridiculously heavy text­books be brought to school every day; we simply expeet it," explained prin­cipal Milkom Tallman. Gym teacher Beef Handsome agreed. "We'rt teac&­ing them that even if these suckets cion ~t anchor them to the sidewalk. they can outmn the w-iad," ~e said.

Dea11 and physical educatioR teacher Justfore Kix has taken imme­diate action to put all other gym ac~ tivities - including events lib H$t­Your-Head-on-the-High-Beam and Get-Conked-With-a-VoUeybalt - on hold,, while optiag to create a military­l:iikc atmosphere i•n which a simulated HI Nino storm forces students t0 hold tig:ht to their bookbags and mil lice the wi,nd. "Thm that tllnbrela inside out and run nard! Run bani!" Kix. s<Creamed at students at one rain .. drenched practice on the Queens Cal­lege traek. "I've been waiting all my life far a physical education torture unit like this," she added later.

Other teachers are followin~ El Nitia•telated lesson plans ... Use antler wnen drawing the inside of a tornado!'' scolded math teacher Nellie SUvergarb. In the cafeteria, yearbook advisor MakeaPitaiiistructedstUdeniS to load up their bags with sesame seed beartst,Qppers.

Harrisites are disturbed at the glee the El Nino findings seem to bring their teachers. "My Eng;lisb teachers no longer aecept pocket dictionaries in class!" moans junior Justa Y. Nerr. "Tomarrow we've, al1 got to &ring Webster's Unabridged1''

The WSC however, asserts that the instinct of Nerr's English teacher is col'Fect. ''AD New York City students should be so lucky to have this weighty amount of books heap<?d upon them every day, .. declares Wey. "What they're doing fat Townsend Harris] is saving lives."

Blue sends staff to slammer Continued from p. 1 "I think I speak for all the retired teach­ers when I say that it's about time the Board of Ed. did something about the homework conditions at Harris. I've al­ways been an advocate of less work for the students," said Mr. Sofa. Nearly breaking into tears, Mr. Kats added; "I've been known for assigning incredible amounts of work to my stu­dents, but I absolutely agree with Mr. Sofa now. In retrospect, I can't believe how I tortured my students. But, be­lieve me, I've changed my ways. I hope my former students can forgive me."

At a press conference from his jail cell this morning, Principal Tallman added, "Okay, I confess! I ordered the teachers to assign all that homework! We need to give the students that much

homework so that they become intelli­gent, so that they win awards and rec­ognition from around the nation! Yes, awards and recognition - that's all I re­ally want! I will not let any science school in Manhattan beat my students! We are the best high school in the nac tion! Do you hear me? The best, whether you believe me or not!"

Although Dr. Tallman confessed his crime, he also revealed his scientifically­supported defense for his trial next week. Apparently, in a new study con­ducted by the Weather Services Corpo­ration, the same heaps of work that teachers were arrested for assigning are the only protection Harrisites will have in an El Nifio storm, anchoring them against the harsh wind and rain. (See

· article above.)

BUilding to be moved 17 feet d:uring spring break Continued from p. 1 collisions in the upper atmosphere," he said. "I'm pretty sure that would hap­pen - almost positive. At least - I think it would," he added with a look of con­fusion after cursing his calculator and glancing through a textbook

But with no ti~e for second opinions, Dr. Tallman took one giant step forward, and pushed the plan into action.

The relocation proje.ct, expected to commence on April 13, will be finished by the end of the vacation only if all stu­dents and teachers lend a hand. Since the contractors are off Good Friday and &ll weekends, they will work only 12 P.M. to 3 P.M., excluding coffee breaks, Monday through Friday, and charge "twice the going rate to avoid the com­mon fate." According to Mr. Bossman, "only cooperation will pull Harris through its current building crisis."

"We'll push for service credit!" shouted students desiring a reward for their required volunteer work at a dem­onstration held outside the Student Sen­ate meeting last Wednesday. Though the Student Union ruled that all efforts aimed at preparing the bQilding for re­location do not qualify under the latest community service clause as being wor­thy of credit, Student Activities Coordi­nator Yodel tJarcia is willing i:o make an exception, so long as no one raises child labor issues.

"You need not even empty your lock­ers," explained Bill M. Twice to a group of concerned students. "My robust men, with a .I:I~rcule~n ·thrust, ample funds, and considerabh:i assistance from physi­cal education teacher Beef Handsome, will keep everything exactly in place," he said. "I expect to see everyone fully dressed and ready to start pushing after morning warmups," said Handsome.

Many students are not looking for­ward to assisting with the move. "I can't believe that with so many collaterals and tests in the upcoming weeks, including theAP exams, the administration would

even ask us to do something so ludi­crous," said junior Wendy Whiner. "My family has been penny pinching for five Years in order to save enough money to travel to Disney World over the vaca­tion; we will be forced to cancel our trip!" exclaimed freshman Walter Weeper between sobs.

According to Dean Justfore Kix, stu­dents who refuse to report for deconstruction duty will receive 10 hours of detention for every day missed, and will be required to return with a doctor's note after vacation for missing school time. "If you're not dead, then your presence is demanded at the con­struction site at 6:30 on Monday morn­ing, April 13th," said Ms. Kix. "We must get an early -start." ·

In the frenzy following the charge that "classical tunes and oppressive op-

. eras emanating from a speaker facing the neighborhood had reached unprec­edented amplitudes," Townsend Harris faced three choices: to move the build­ing, allowing for a buffer zone to be cre­ated between the school and the condos; to be razed for not complying with court regulations; or to remove the music be­tween bands. As for the final option, Dr. Tallman wouldn't even hear of it. "This is not a factory, and that means absciltitely no b~lls, no horns, and no whistles while I'm still principal of this hmrianities school," he said.

"I think the school was right in choosing the first option," said sopho­more Smart Alec Aggrivator. "I'm will­ing t~_pitch in and do my part," he added.

In ·order to avoid further costs from a lengthy legal battle, the Board of Edu­cation has agreed to compensate Queens College for the parking spaces Townsend Harris will occupy in its new location. A third level will be added to the college's parking garage, a costly parking plaza first erected at Board of Education expense to replace the lot eliminated by the construction of Townsend Harris.

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